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#you ruined my life in the best way
andrastes-strap-on · 2 years
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The only thing I remember from 2009 was playing this game
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callixton · 3 months
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i think the thing to understand abt martha jones is that even after she leaves she is five seconds away from dropping everything and traveling with the doctor at any given time. bc that itch to blow everything up and damn her personal duty to hell in search of a higher call never leaves her. but martha is smart. and rational. and has spent a long fucking time needing to keep herself safe. (bc he comes when she calls but never before.) and so she has gotten very good at keeping herself on the right side of those five seconds. but i do think if ten was a different person (if he could acknowledge how much he needed her instead of just how much he liked her) (if he didn’t feel this righteous martyrdom when it comes to being left alone) (if he cared enough about her to beg. if he cared enough about himself.) i think that her answer no would come crumbling down pretty quickly is all.
#MARTHA JONES’ TWISTED SENSE OF DUTY YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#there is soo much nuance to this. obviously. and it really varies depending on when exactly in his run we’re talking#but me personally. i don’t think that martha was ever satisfied with the way things ended between them. i think she made peace with it!#but i don’t think she was satisfied and i don’t think she ever could be#which is also why i have slowly come around to her and mickey. even tho i think it IS very pair the spares in a way i don’t like#i do think they make sense together. in a genuine way and also in a you’re the closest i’ll get to what i want. you’re good on your own but#- you’re also the next best thing. and we don’t need to say this out loud bc we both know and it wouldn’t ruin anything by admitting it but#- it sure as hell wouldn’t feel good either#it’s not even like. directly about the doctor/rose here is the thing. it’s about the life he let them lead with him#which i guess is the crux of this. i think martha is capable of moving on from her Feelings for the doctor. but never her feelings about him#yknow. does that make sense. if anyone knows that the doctor is a symbol it’s martha#i don’t think she’s always in love with him. i think she was. tho my opinions on that r complicated hashtag tenmartha qpr BUT#but the IDEA of him? the idea which shaped her into a completely different person? i don’t think she will ever not want that back @ her core#she’s just too loyal to everyone besides herself to admit that. 😐#ok it’s 4 am i have been rambling abt this for fifteen minutes so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but i have FEELINGS ABT HER !!#ted talks#martha jones#doctor who
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oshi no ko aqua is such a fun character bc by most counts he's a more than decent guy.
in his first life he regularly visited hospital inpatients who had no visitors. he was genuinely happy and excited to help Ai deliver her babies, because he wants her to be happy on her own terms. he saves Akane simply because he can, and gets angry at the staff on her behalf. he doesn't stop at saving her life and spends sleepless nights turning around her public image. at that point there was nothing in it for him to keep akane around, she was just a person he was able to help and wanted to help.
by most counts he's a pretty decent guy who steps up when people need him most, except. except he's also a guy who really wants to kill his dad and that makes him manipulate people somewhat often and this is somehow not entirely at odds with his instinct to help others
#oshi no ko#like he's a doctor i can rly respect yknow#except for the patricide thing#gorou said do no harm unless it's my dad#also the way that gorou regularly visit patients is something SARINA has to tell the audience and not gorou#bc to gorou is nothing worth mentioning#for quite a while i was like man gorou is kind of sleazy for only visiting sarina esp when she's so young and vulnerable#but he visits the others also... sarina was just the most special patient to him because she introduced him to ai and also#because she was a kid whose parents never showed up#also SPOILERS FOR LIKE CH90+ OR SMTHING BELOW#the way aqua doesnt let akane dirty her hands like ok aqua we get it you want the best for everyone who isnt your dad#wipes tear someone get him therapy hes a decent guy who's ruining his life#also the way he is conscious of how he's playing w akane's feelings and tries very hard to be honest with her and to do her right#like sigh okay aqua i GUESS i cant hate you#and that one ghosting kana arc where i wanted to beat him up and then he was like i dont want to drag kana into this & he looked terrified#like SIGH. OKAY. FINE AQUA i cant hate you after all#like apart from the patricide (which is big know) the biggest downside to his personality is how cold he is#he pushes ppl away all the time and is just borderline rude#but like idk i feel like thats a byproduct of his 'i plan to go to jail for patricide and dont want to drag others down' mindset#which is like... well. you can't hate him for that.. he's looking out for others in his own way
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kindaorangey · 1 month
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i have no idea what happens in house md s8 except that wilson gets diagnosed with terminal cancer and it's crazy to me as an endpoint because it just seems so empty. i'm 99% sure most of the original cast has moved on by that point, the show has gone on for two long, the only thing that's left is these two forces that have been orbiting each other since the beginning of the show. and from what i can tell, they're (still!) each other's only friend, and wilson dies. the characters are almost trapped in the confines of the show, doomed to feel completely alone from start to finish. there's something about it that's existential in the same way as the last act of 2001: a space odyssey, or when the guy falls through time in interstellar, for some reason. the universe is empty and cruel and it does not care about you and life and love are fleeting. wilson asks house to tell him he loves him and house tells him no.
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ransomdemands · 5 months
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yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt
this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt
ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me
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jtownraindancer · 5 months
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missing my second favourite revolutionary spy played by burn gorman tonight 🇬🇧
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penelope-kat · 1 year
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Do y'all recon Simon developed an Ogtha roach-wife association thing to Golb because it's now his wife and he's formed that connection to be horny over it?
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blareviridi · 6 months
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Me rn w/ CB
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The latest fast pass has me JKZRSXGQEAV
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girlwiththegreenhat · 1 month
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you know what? at least he got his wedding. i guess ,
#liz blogs#knight rider#knight rider spoilers#kr#knight rider liveblog#stevie makes me so fucking sad you dont understand. you dont understand. oh my god.#''at least i could always run into you at the supermarket'' ''thats how i do it too'' yeah. yeah. about that. uh. um. not. anymoRE#oh my god. at least they finally got their wedding. oh m y fucking god. it was beautiful for all of 8 minutes#this episode really smacks you with horrible grief over michaels two best relationships. its not bad enough about stevie#but then kitt rushes to his side after he gets shot. protects him. calls the ambulance. follows behind it the whole way there and looks#after him. god. tapped into the camera in his room and saves his fucking life. SITTING IN THE PARKING LOT FOR WEEKS#AND MICHAEL GETES OUT AND GOES 'YEAH ANYWAY IM LEAVING THE FOUNDATION' BITCH ??????? BITCH ??????????????#WHAT HAPPENS TO KITT THEN 8( YOU CANT JUST LEAVE HIM BEHIND HE'S YOUR FUCKING BUDDY !!!!!!!! HES YOUR PAL#OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO CRY FOR LIKE THE 8TH TIME#BUILD ANOTHER CAR. PROGRAM ANOTHER AI. THIS ONE IS MICHAELS HE SHOULD GET TO KEEP HIM FOREVER#IM GOING TO CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT OH MY G O D#i was right to be upset and nervous for this episode. i was right. i was right. oh . my god.#knight rider is ruining my life actually. jesus christ. i thought michael was actually going to Kill for the first time. oh my god.#im so upset. about the tv show. im so upset im in grief im going to cry#Again.#she threw himself in front of him. she threw -#''haha funy show about a guy and his car'' -- five months later i am never recovering. i am never recovering from my decision to watch kr#jesus. FUCKING christ oh my GOD
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glxybld-mustdie · 2 months
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Hey my babies~
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Favourite song not from an album
I’m not gonna elaborate further this song cracks me up but it’s also unironically good honestly (besides the fact it was probably recorded with a potato pointed at the television while this thing aired)
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actual-corpse · 3 months
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Watching Avatar the Last Airbender...
Politely reminded of the time people wanted my head because I said that ATLA ruined storytelling because some people can't fucking think critically of media before trying to tell you what's so good about it.
I LOVE AtLA! Adore it! But like.... A majority of people watched Zuko switch sides and said, "Damn... What if we redeemed ALL the villains?" Without realizing Zuko wasn't a true villain in need of redemption.
But... The Redemption Game isn't truly JUST the fault of AtLA... There was a shift in the Moral of the Story. Idk how to explain it bc I'm half asleep, but like...
#Steven Universe is a prime example of why Redemption isn't always the Best Idea#i also have beef with people trying to 'make the next Avatar'... You dont even understand WHY you like it!#hell#My Little Pony didn't start redeeming it's villains until it became Vogue to do so#and so#Starlight Glimmer gets a redemption she doesn't deserve (she deserves Tartarus) and is free to continue to abuse people#BUT#towards the end of the series (after it found the plot again due to assholes BEGGING for 'world bulding' that wasn't really necessary)#a fucking FIRST grader (who's crimes were definitely NOT as bad as Starlights) goes to Tartarus?#idk why people think everything needs a fully fleshed out world to exist in#maybe that was AtLA too... Except Avatar was SET UP to EXPLORE THE WORLD#shows like MLP:FiM were NOT set up for a world outside of Canterlot and Ponyville (and the one-off cities)#you dont need a fully realized world. you don't need explanations for everything!#Harry Potter ruined media too (except like... JKR also sucks ass and that sours HP but like)#idk#im rambling#i should write an essay and let it rot on my hard drive#i wish people would just accept that their favorite media isn't perfect#and I wish people would allow open discussions or criticisms without trying to fucking DOX people and threaten them#discussion can be fun!!!#it can be fun to dissect and analyze and defend media!#people are way too parasocial and overprotective of their favorite media#we need to be able to have discussions (This can be said about Real Life things but I DIGRESS)#im not fucking tagging this#bc I WILL get internet killed bc people are fucking nuts#*screaming*
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cupuasu · 9 months
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idk man i dont feel the need to always message my friends and always go out with friends like if it happens it happens i like the spontaneity of it all. i don't think i'm a bad friend for not being up someone's ass all the time. i can spend months not talking to someone but if i see them on the street i'll go up to hug and talk to them bc for me it's never that deep to spend a long period not contacting someone. plus now all friends i made irl are at completely different point in their lives and i'm still at the same place i was in like 2019 so i do feel like i'm not "supposed" to be bothering them (wrong of me to assume im bothering i know but all i do is wait for most of them to do the first move). and nowadays all everyone posts about is you're not a real friend if you dont answer my msgs 1 second later you're not a real friend if you don't go to parties 8 days a week with someone you met in the public bathroom a thousand years ago you're not a real friend if you don't go to therapy and stop bothering your friends about your illness like omg. i'll talk to people i like i'll hang out whenever it works and i'll message you back and i won't mention my depression and i'll act normal in public but i honestly can't wait to go back home and be alone. i love you so much and me not talking to you doesn't mean i like you less or that i don't want to be your friend it just means i want some time out to be on my own lol
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I think PrinceZam should be put in a saw trap. Not that it’d be good for him just that it would force him to either confront the worst of his mortality and all of his fears and force him to reckon with the parts of himself that he continually tries to deny. Or die trying
#my brain put me in The Torment Nexus last night for five consecutive nightmares in a row so I’m coping by figuring out what kind of trap#would force Zam into acknowledging all the worst parts of him#(gesturing vaguely at my brain) you put ME in saw traps?!!!???? I’m gonna put ZAM in one#this is also partially inspired by holland’s ASDOM saw au because it goes crazy hard#I’m thinking that the best trap for him would be one where he has to choose between being selfish (saving himself)#or selfless (saving someone else) BUT it can’t be a simple decision. he needs to be forced to run through the cowardly and catastrophizing#thought patterns that have guided him this far (heavy s4 inspiration) with a side of severe mind games#I think for that reason the bathroom from the original saw film would work well but that is too much mind game not enough hands on death#but the reverse bear trap would also work to drive home the significant physical threat there needs to be#thinking……. thinking……..#no drawn out conclusions yet but god . this is an AU I wojld really want to work with if I had the spoons and time#ohhhh perhaps he is a paranoid shutin after ruining the only friendship he’s ever had (reporting severe academic violations? perhaps) and#the whole pont is to force him to find a way to throw his full faith into doing what’s right (IE: grievous bodily harm / death) or choose#the coward’s way out becaude he cannot stand the consequences of his actions (death again but this time his own)#cats.writes#she life on my steal till i
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phoenixcatch7 · 9 hours
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The problem I'm having with one of my stories is that it is compelling - but not clicking.
It's a sephiroth gets reincarnated into mdzs. Straightforward. I've got several branching paths: lwj, jc, nmj (my personal fave) and the jade twins (one mind in two bodies). All five of them have great potential, but for some reason my heart is set on sephiroth!lwj, because the aesthetic is sublime.
But! It's! Not! Working!
My main problems are a) despite similar surfaces, sephiroth has fundamentally different morals and life experiences to lwj and lwjs morals are a huge part of his and wwx's stories. B) I can't NOT have wangxian. I don't ship often at all, but when I do I'm pretty set on it lol. I don't want to deny soulmates. Unfortunately I HATE writing romance. C) I do not think sephiroth should be in any sort of romantic relationship at all nor can I see him wanting one. I've read tons of fics where he is in relationships (healthy or otherwise) and they're amazing, yes, but... Under my pen it's just not in the cards. And I do feel pairing him with wwx would just amplify wwx's worst traits, which is the opposite of what lwj does for him.
Everything's in conflict, but the lure of sephiroths second childhood in strict gusu and his complicated feelings about it, wwx being a perfect mix of all his important people with a spine of steel and righteousness that they all lost as everything fell apart, the relationship between sephiroth and his new mother, and how he'd inexplicably lose her too, the white on white aesthetic, the older identical brother, the cruel angels aesthetic with the benevolent demon, the angst of wwx's defection and death, his relationship with qi as a planet's overflowing life force, the tragedy of the mourning angel, monster x monster.... It calls to me.
But there's also the way wwx becoming a demonic cultivator was so vital to winning the war, and the way that affected things, gave him a legitimacy. Involve the silver soldier, and well. Everything else becomes a little extraneous lol. And sephiroth himself is such a big mover and shaker, I don't know what I could do to manage that without wiping out 80% of the remaining jianghu after the burial mounds siege with sephiroth appointing himself king lmao. He's not the kind of person to make small ripples, you know?
And I'd love a twin jades au to sort of turn the chaos inwards a bit (nmj and jgy would be Excellent foils) but again, I can't separate wangxian and imagining scenes feels a bit too close to incest for my tastes, even when it's ONE PERSON in identical bodies!
It's frustrating, wanting to write a non romance fic set in a love story lol. I just. I hate writing romance. But wangxian just don't want to be parted.
But the image of lwj in the xuanwu cave secretly covering a feverish wwx with his wing, only to notice a handful of white feathers pushing through the black as he unknowingly becomes a better person through showing care for other people, shaking his own deep belief that he is a horrible irredeemable creature incapable of love. Caught in an act of love. Hnggh.
Any ideas?!
#It's so frustrating because the block is on my end it's less so an issue with the actual plot#I know people love crossover character reincarnations even in canon soulmates (my other fics have shown me that lol) but wangxian feels lik#Too much? Idk I don't. Want to try and create a relationship#If you don't know in ff7 wing colour is determined by their morality. As a kid sephiroth was symbolised with white feathers#But as he grew older and later snapped he got the iconic black wing. I see it more as a 'what do they perceive themselves as' which#Gets extra angst points for unreliable narration and blindly righteous vs self loathing vs healing vs denial#The wing probably shouldn't be in the fic it's from the j cells and a symptom of insanity but ehhh it's too cool and symbolic#Like there's so much you can do with seph!lwj. Burning nibelheim vs cr burning. Prodigy on a lonely pedestal. Strict gusu vs sterile shinra#Having a mother but being restricted from her and losing her anyway and nobody telling him anything because he's a little kid#Angel x demon aesthetic on the battlefield. Safer mode HAS to make an appearance I don't make the rules (it's way too underrated ToT)#Wwx would get horns and fangs and stuff to balance it out lol. Noncon bodmod from the energy coursing through you#I feel he'd relate. Lwj being utterly terrified of wwx mentally degrading from the resentment and being forced to watch him ruin himself#Lwj seeing the best of all the people he loved in wwx and seeing him be so genuinely relentlessly GOOD where they fell apart.#Him being terrified of his own overwhelming feelings hurting wwx like cloud. The possessiveness and simultaneous avoidance#Him being even less easily flustered XD. Wwx has a high bar to top some fans from his last life.#Bb lwj getting really stubborn over wanting a stupid big sword and then growing huge enough to use it lol#Sephiroth getting a 'proper' childhood and being so unused to it he can't tell it's still not a very good one. Being doted on by his big br#mdzs#mxtx mdzs#mdzs fanfiction#mdzs fic#mo dao zu shi#lan wangji#ff7#final fantasy vii#cloud strife#final fantasy 7#sephiroth#This is working on the idea sephiroth got controlled by jenova btw the other version is beyond hope#mdzs au
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wild-at-mind · 5 months
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I get why people like the whole queer existence is resistance thing. I don't personally, because I think it puts a tonne of intracommunity pressure to exist in the 'right' way, I.e. the way that is 'radical' to the person currently scrutinising you. As a person with OCD that manifests in self scrutiny that I have to constantly concentrate on to avoid it becoming self hatred, I'm never going to be a fan of that. I kind of feel this way about any kind of assimilation conversation with regards to queerness really. I think it's an important conversation within irl communities who already care for each other- who shows up for others outside of their own interests and who doesn't, etc. But the internet makes things so impersonal and cold. It encourages people to make very serious snap judgements about others who they don't even know, and to encourage others to believe that about them. None of these people are in community together in any meaningful sense, or they wouldn't treat each other so ungenerously.
Anyway I had a bit of a realisation earlier- I think we have to tell ourselves our existence is inherently radical all the time because we're always getting the subtle message from our community and the wider activism community that having a good time or enjoying yourself is somehow bad, or insulting to people in dire straits. But instead of challenging that idea we say no it's OK because I'm doing activism simply by being here. I think it's fine to feel that way and in many ways existing as a marginalised person really is radical. I just want to make sure we aren't internalising the idea that we can't ever be happy or having a fun frivolous time without justifying it, and passing that idea along to others without meaning to.
#as radio 1 used to say: you only get one life- love it#i try and tell myself that when i get bogged down in the 'my misery is activism somehow' thinking#that so many people on here reinforce#i feel the 'pride is a protest' conversation constantly turns into this#because while pride's origin is in protest on the anniversary of the stonewall riot#most prides now are parties with a march and some information stalls#and...that's fine! If people have fun at it!#not everyone finds pride fun obvs its usually boiling very overwhelming and loud#ive had some shit times at pride but had a blast at my last one#it was post coming out as trans and I'd just started drinking more regularly#after abstaining for my meds for so long#i went alone had some drinks and a dance and went home#loved it best day ever#anyway the idea that in order to do activism you have to constantly disrupt#bring your 'queer liberation not rainbow capitalism' sign#i dunno...i dont think anyone really likes rainbow capitalism but the sponsers keep entry free#thats the case at my main one anyway#i struggle because i only just started having fun a bit more and enjoying things#i hate being hit with the message of 'actually this fun time is wrong '#even in the most subtle ways- but maybe im oversensitive#i will say that if misery is activism ive more than paid my dues#why do they think people wanted to get into stonewall inn anyway???#eta- i know not all prides are free and the ones that aren't still have corporate sponsors#i just don't feel it ruins pride personally#it's mildly annoying and that's all#eta: i put activism instead of capitalism in the slogan in the tags for some reason
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lieutenant-amuel · 10 months
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Today is my… ahem Emilio’s birthday!
Happy birthday, Señor Writer <3
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He’s “good” now so he deserves to have a kind-looking version of his picrew (and I gave him a pocket watch because he does have a pocket watch. With the portrait of his family inside)
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