#you've got so much heart

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[jin-zixun]

actually xiyao is tolerable if it's a minji au. not because I'd want su she out of the way but because I think having su she as a brother in law would fix lan xichen.

like seriously. lan wangji already thinks supporting your war criminal husband is the best thing to do even if he is actively killing hundreds of people, he just doesn't like jgy for petty reasons. but su she fucking loves jgy, he thinks it would be intolerable for lxc *not* to support his war criminal husband, in fact the lan sect should be doing way more to help him? maybe he wouldn't even have to be a war criminal? come on this place needs soooo many reforms now and it's too late to go back to ignoring minshan once you've let him become lan-er-furen

like every day at dinner lxc is like "do you guys think I am too naive in seeing how perfect a-yao is?" and su she says "actually he's more perfect." and lan wangji says nothing because he's the type to defer to whatever his partner says.

someone brings up jgy torturing people or killing his superior officer and su she's just like "deserved. should have killed more people tbh" and lan xichen is impressionable so he's just thinking 'oh yeah guess that sounds about right. wow! actually a-yao is soooo much *more* amazing! showing such restraint in not killing more people! what a good person ❤️' and lan wangji truly does not care about that so he still says nothing.

[grocerystoreanxiety]

this has become one of my all time faves

[mobius-m-mobius]

mobius when he realizes that he can’t marry loki and be together forever (he’s a god a glorious purpose and mobius is letting time pass)

Cue Mobius seeing this post, realizing after everything he's been through his version of letting time pass is gonna involve countless variations of the hero's journey to get Loki back when the two of them had just wanted to save the day, grab a snack, and get back to building IKEA furniture everyday office shenanigans together 😭😭

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS

[takkamek]

thinking about just how hard the decision to go to ferrari must've been to lewis. everyone can say that he's been a ferrari fan as a child, that's it's been his dream, but mercedes is was His team, his home. 12 years together. i do think it was lewis' intention to retire in mercedes but not like that and not so soon like the team (toto) were expecting him to do.

[scribe-cas]

i need to explode. Vent post

RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH. FUCK. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

I know and I fucking knew I wasn't going to find him, but my fucking God

How the fuck am I supposed to live like this

"Oh so I have a book character based off of an actual entity who haunted my brain for a little while in the form of alter possession because I had splits at one point and at any mention of him I go literally fucking shitballs insane and will do anything to see him again" like what the fuck is wrong with me /lh

I know I sound insane but that's. Insaner than shit.

Like wow I feel actually awful and freakish some days. I sometimes wonder if this is actually here or if it's just all in my head and some huge fucking coincidence. It seems like every time I get closer to figuring something out about him or anyone and anything associated with him, it's like I take 4 steps back.

And it's. Heartbreaking. I don't know how else certain things could even have possibly happened without his existence, but also am I somehow just making up all of this shit. Am I going to spend the rest of my life chasing after every redheaded transgender man I see only for my brain and my heart to be left. Empty. Because it's not him.

nobody's ever going to be him, and I doubt anyone would ever want to.

There's just a level of feeling abandoned that's never going to heal.

The only thing that helps is writing my books.

Seeing people connect to them. Seeing people connect to, and emulate, him.

That makes me feel less crazy. It makes me feel like maybe if it is all in my head and if nothing is actually real at least it was kind of worth it.

To quote bojack horseman, which i probably should not have watched:

"That means that all the damage I got isn't 'good damage'. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing."

This is what's. Just circling my brain. If he's not real then yeah I kept myself alive but why did I love. What was the point of it all. There are other people who love me and it's wonderful but sometimes I miss his smile and as fucked as it is I wish that I'd run into someone who's even slightly like him.

Just so that i can stare at them and. Like. Remember.

Redheaded long haired trans men it's your time to shine im summoning you from across tumblr, come tell me you love me

Bonus points if you're folklore obsessed, dress like a flamboyant dance student, like heels and bartend /j obviously

But like. I can't explain it. It's devastating i miss my brother man 👍

Thanks tumblr for listening to my tedtalk

[whysamwhy123]

HALLEJUAH!! I REMEMBERED HOW TO ACTUALLY FINISH WRITING SOMETHING FOR A CHANGE!!

Of course, it's not any of the fics I wanted to finish. I went back to what is essentially my bread-and-butter now and wrote a short-ish, random OrangeHook fluff. But considering how much writing's been a struggle as of late, I'm just glad that I successfully finished something. I was back in one of those stretches where I couldn't seem to write much of anything. And this fic isn't about their age difference or Hook being a cuddlebug, so...progress?

Unless I decide I completely hate it (which is always a possibility) expect something to drop on Valentine's Day, tis the season, after all.

[hiraethwrote]

how are you liking A Little Life? I have a copy of it that i got for christmas that one of my close friends got me as a gift, but i’m scared to read it bc i heard it’s so devastating 😭 i want to read it but i don’t want to wreck my mental state in the process!!

aaah love that you’re asking this!! and sorry if i end up rambling for too long but i kinda feel it’s necessary as it’s such a hefty book that deals with a lot, to say the least

i am loving it. i actually think it might end up on my very exclusive list of all time favourite books. going into it i had fairly high expectations as well, because i had been told it was right up my alley, and i have still to be disappointed.

yk, it’s a big book and i was scared it would be a difficult read technically speaking, like the language would be unnecessarily hard and just overall pretentious wording but it flows surprisingly well. overall, it’s sooo incredibly beautifully written and hanya yanagihara has a way with words that is seriously unmatched imo

but that’s the technical aspect which isn’t exactly what it’s known for lol

whenever i read, watch etc a new story, the characters and the relationships is definitely what matters the most to me. i’ve always valued that the most in my enjoyment, more so in books than anything else. and a little life, as much as the story, plot and writing is important, is definitely a character and relationship based book. it takes a deep dive into a great catalog of a bunch of different characters that are so incredibly fleshed out. you’ll connect with them so quickly bc they’re written so thoroughly.

so, it’s absolutely no secret that I’m an avid reader of angst. it’s basically tattooed on my forehead. i enjoy, for the lack of a better word, the pain i read about. personally, i think it might have something to do with the fact that i’m an overly emotional person who just likes to be in touch with them and express them (but that’s kinda besides the point hehe)

TRIGGER WARNING!! it does not shy away from taboo and hard topics. there’s a lot of graphic depictions of SH, SA, abuse, mental illness, p*dophilia, ED and in general just themes like these. if one is easily affected by stuff like this, i would highly suggest one look up content warnings so you’re aware of what you’re getting into.

because of the graphic contents, i’ve seen it been described as torture porn and i cannot stress enough how much i disagree! everyone is of course entitled to their own opinion, but it pains me when people just boil it down to the suffering that is told in the story. this isn’t some tiktok dark romance that glorifies topics they shouldn’t (that’s a different discussion lol).

a little life is so beautiful, in its own twisted way. it’s been a long time since, if ever, i’ve read about relationships as deep and meaningful as the ones we meet in this book, and i think i have to search for a long time until i find a book that does it to the same degree as this one. aside from the horrible things in this book, there’s so much beauty in this story — about love and friendship, and just the hardships of life. that is what i believe this book is about at its core

so i absolutely, 100% recommend it — IF you can deal with the topics it presents. i know a lot of people that stray away from it because of it, and i can totally understand it. if it’s triggering and doesn’t do your mental any good, stay away. but if you’re up for it, i say it’s worth the experience

and if you ever decide to pick it up i would love to hear what you think about it <3

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[artsycloudysleepy]

Here it is :)

WOAH!!!! THE ELEANOR EVER!!!

SHE LOOKS SO UNHINGED AND COOL I LOVE IT :000000

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE HER!! YOUR ART IS AMAZING /gen

also completely expected it to be a fragment so am really happy to be so surprised!!! she looks terrifying in your style!! /pos

[frozenambiguity]

Fontaine hype — REAL!

[lith-myathar]

.

[torgawl]

i am so emotional with harpocrates and dion's side quest. harpocrates who blames himself for not have offered dion his friendship and support besides the knowledge he shared with him when he was once his tutor. dion who feels so incredibly guilty for having destroyed his nation, what he held the most deer, who feels deeply ashamed and scared of what the person that inspired him all those years ago might think of him and his character after his deeds. harpocrates who doesn't blame him for another's ill intent but recognizes the anguish the prince battles with everyday and who wants to atone for his sense of personal failure towards him by gifting him the flower that represents his nation and making him know he isn't defined by his roots, that he is proud of the man the prince became. dion who is so thankful for the role the loresman had in his life but doesn't feel worthy of receiving the symbol of his people before fullfiling the duty he believes he has, si he defers the flower until after he bids his life against the one who ruined his nation to atone for the crimes he committed. harpocrates who plans cultivate wyvern tails for dion's return and bids farewell with an obvious sadness in his voice. dion who's reparation of his wrongdoings has been looking a bit too much like a forever depart...

[aprilblossomgirl]

The dance scene is finally here!

And it didn’t disappoint, even better than what I imagined it would be *cry*. Also, turns out it was Tiw who taught and trained them the dance. He indeed plays any role, all roles, necessary to support not only Tinn and Gun to get together, but also to help Chinzhilla, and again, not only about the Hot Wave competition but also their love life.

Whenever I thought that no episode would top the previous ones, every new episode proved me otherwise.

[fionnaskyborn]

one day when i am not busy dying on the inside and out i will write an honest-to-god essay about how people are, for the lack of a better descriptor but simultaneously for the lack of a more perfect one, too edgy about five.