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#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings
ectonurites · 4 months
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR. KEVIN PHILLIPS
#super dark times#zach taylor#allison bannister#sam edits#if you listen closely you can hear the sound of both mine and Allison's hearts breaking! <3#ok but fr: i know this is gifs. so no sound. but the WAY he DELIVERS the 'you've got a bump on your head' line makes me NUTS#it's so soft. it's so fond. it's... it's a punch in the fucking gut. he likes her *so much* but he *can't let himself have this nice#thing with her* because he's *being eaten alive by guilt he can't accept & won't let himself be happy because of it* and SHE DOESN'T KNOW!#like the thing. the thing is. when you watch SDT you're along the ride with Zach and his POV of everything. despite the obvious paranoia#& guilt warping his perspective/influencing his behavior—we can see where that's all coming from. we understand the motivations#behind the actions he takes. but ALLISON? Allison has no fucking clue what's going on! from Allison's perspective... Zach is this guy she's#known for a while (like they make a point of *telling us* in one of the earliest scenes that Zach feels weird talking about her in the#detached way they may talk abt other people in their grade they barely know—because it's *different* since he and Josh *actually know her*#plus in the script [and it STILL COUNTS TO ME because she *starts* saying the line but just gets cut off by Dennis] Allison brings#up Zach & Josh having had a silly handshake since 7th grade ['oh god that used to make me pee!' <- girl why would u say that to him]#so it's like... these are kids who've known each other for years!) and he's got this obvious fucking crush on her (the hallway scene where#he is. blatantly staring and she catches him for a second) and the moment she decides to actually start pursuing him because SHE'S#got a crush on HIM too... he starts pulling away and acting erratic and sending her the most mixed signals in the fucking world.#and sheee THINKSSS ITS HERRR FAULT!!!!!!!! like. listen. this scene i giffed above? this is what she's fucking talking about later#when she jokes about not wanting to 'scare him off again'. like sure she says it like a joke but... uhm. i simply think there's#a certain amount of truth to it too—because he DID leave the party visibly freaked out! and i think it'd be perfectly believable for her#to think that it was at least partially HER pushing too hard that was causing him to withdraw/pull away from her. plus she blatantly says#she thinks she's the reason Josh & Zach are fighting. like. this poor girl is on the outskirts of a tragedy she'll probably NEVER know the#details of but she's seeing firsthand the impact it's having on Zach and... blaming herself... that's so fucking heartbreaking
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xpeachesncream · 10 months
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seven with you | bands drabble (jjk)
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↳ drabbles masterlist
yours (ft. the bands!couple) | drabble seven: it’s time for jungkook’s solo debut and you have a few feelings about it.
word count: 2.9k
warnings: cussing, mature language, oc experiencing jealousy and insecurity, oc is very supportive but inevitably feels insecure and scared, kook being protective of his family as always, soft and sweet unprotected sex, cowgirl 🤠, making out, neck kisses, sprinkle of breast play, pls excuse any errors as i quickly whipped this up!
a/n: anon, this is for you! 💞 ironically this is my 7th drabble for the couple 😅 hehe coming back to continue feeding into all the thoughts, fantasies, etc etc because of seven promotions. much love, hope you enjoy! so sorry if i missed anyone on my perm taglist, its been so long! i’ll be back again soon 🥰
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"So, what's hyung doing? Is he still at rehearsal?" Kai asks on the other line as you sit on the hotel bed, scrolling through your laptop.
"Yeah, he's still rehearsing for tomorrow."
"Do you know anything about the video?" You chuckle a bit and shake your head as if your little brother can see you.
"Mm, no.. besides who's involved. He wanted to keep it a surprise."
"Interesting." Kai laughs. "You're going in blindly with everyone else."
"I sure am." You laugh. "But, it'll be good! I'll get to experience this with everyone. I know it'll be amazing no matter what."
"How come you didn't wanna be in the video?"
"It's not that, I just always told Kook that he shouldn't let me hinder his process. If he wants me involved, then he can get me involved. If not and he chooses to do his own thing, then I'll sit back and support as I always do."
"Truthfully, did you want to be in the video?"
"I mean.." You hum as you tilt your head to the side. "It would've been cute."
"Then, why did you say no?"
"Kai. I just.. didn't want him to feel obligated. Plus, to be frank, I wasn't even sure if I was comfortable. I think Kook could tell, and he didn't wanna force it after that. Or, maybe he just had a revelation and thought it’d be better off not involving me.” You joke.
"Nothing is better off without you, you know that. But, of course. I get everything else that you’re saying.”
"I trust his process, though. I always do."
"True." He laughs. "Okay, shoot. It's about to release." You keep your eyes on the laptop as the music video starts, keeping your brother on the line as he promised he'd watch with you. He was currently at the Choi residence while you ventured out to New York with Jungkook— supporting him from the sidelines for the beginning of his 'Seven' promotions.
You smile as you see Jungkook and Han So Hee together at the table, praising her for being so beautiful and flawless. You giggle every now and then at Jungkook, but then you start to fix on the little details;
The chase.
His effort— though a bit much that it makes you giggle, the effort is there.
The way he looks at her, waits for her at the end.
Holds her hand and walks along her side.
Maybe you should've said yes to being in the video in the first place, then you wouldn't be in this predicament. Though, she fits well. The vibe is immaculate.
Their dynamic? Strong.
Let's take a moment to be real: part of you felt a little jealous at her flawless execution, a little insecure observing how perfect she is. It seems a bit silly if you generally look at it since Jungkook was Jungkook. But, you couldn't help it. You still weren't used to it, even if you reminded yourself every day that your man was Jeon Jungkook.
Even if you reminded yourself of your story with Jeon Jungkook.
Kai is still on the phone, slightly pulling you back to reality with his comments about how 'good hyung looked in the video' and how 'they worked well together.' He must have been tiptoeing with his words, especially when he quickly flips the script and starts to mention the explicit version that still needed to be listened to.
You follow the lead, playing it on your computer while Kai sat on speaker phone. You can hear the audible gasps coming from his end, your own eyes widening at the switch in the lyrics, the sudden shift of the entire song.
Although you were incredibly proud of Jungkook for continuing to step out of his comfort zone, you felt yourself shrinking and shrinking—
Falling into the never-ending pit of insecurity, jealousy, assumptions, what if's, etc etc.,
It was past midnight. Why was rehearsal taking forever?
Felt like hours, and hours.
"The explicit version— I— Wow. There is a lot to unpack here. But, I can't even say that I'm surprised. Hyung pulls it off well. Wanna be like him some day. He just doesn't care what anybody thinks, and he's so cool." Kai laughs with Yeonjun in the background as they continue to listen to the explicit version with you. You hear a faint 'I don't think this version was meant for us' coming from Yeonjun, a small giggle leaving your lips at their commentary.
"Stop." You say just as Jungkook gives three light knocks on the door before tapping the key against the reader and swinging it open. "Hey, I'll call you back later okay? Jungkook just got back."
"Okay! Tell hyung congrats on the solo debut and that we really liked it!"
"I will. Love you."
"Love you too!" He says as he hangs up the call. Jungkook strolls in with a big smile on his face as he types away at his phone, small giggles leaving his lips as he approaches you on the bed.
"Babygirl." He smiles at and you places a quick kiss on your lips. "Was that Kai?"
"Yeah, it was." You give him a tiny, pursed smile. "He said congrats on the solo debut and that him and his friends really liked everything." Jungkook pauses before he responds because he's typing another message before shoving his phone back into his pocket.
"Aw, thanks. That's my guy. Can always count on him." You let out a tiny laugh before avoiding his eyes, silently looking down at your laptop and letting your finger swipe across the trackpad. "You didn't have to wait up, love."
"Of course I did. I needed to catch it at release." You look up at him briefly. "How was rehearsal?"
"Fucking tiring, but we got through it. I'm excited for everyone to see the performances." He smiles and sits next to you. "So, what'd you think?"
"You two were great together, Kook. It was great.” You simply state.
"We were, weren't we? She was so helpful. And I felt at ease, like I didn't have to try much. She was such a natural at everything, it made things go by a lot smoother.”
"I can tell." You respond softly— probably a little too softly because Jungkook's smile slightly fades. Then, the thoughts start to swarm again just as you look at him. You quickly divert your attention by subtly biting onto your bottom lip, looking towards the hotel window when cars are honking their horns out on the street.
Of course, they were assumptions.
But of course, they were stupid, silly little thoughts stemming from your insecurity; occupying every corner of your brain, making you believe this skewed perception, this-whole-thing-that-is-a-thing-but-not-really-a-thing-because-there-aren't-any-facts-to-back-it-up—
"Hey." He pulls you out of your thoughts by taking your chin and making your eyes meet his own deep, brown orbs. "Talk to me, baby. I can hear you thinking. D-did you not like it? It's okay if not, you know? You can tell me. I value your opinion more than anything"
"What, no!" You shake your head. "I mean, no, of course I loved it. I loved every bit of it. It's amazing, and you know you always blow me away with everything you do." You cup his cheeks and let out a soft sigh. "I really do think you're amazing. I just.. maybe part of me kind of regrets not doing this with you?" He lets out a small breath before taking your hands in his and placing a gentle kiss on your palm.
"Are you saying that just because you saw her in the video?"
"Maybe? And, it did look easy. Everything looked so natural, especially for her. You two meshed well. I—I don’t know. I’m not really sure where I’m going with this anymore."
"Hm." He hums before tapping your thigh and bringing you onto his lap. You brush the hair out of his face while he wraps his arm around your waist, laying a gentle kiss on your cheek. "Baby, you know when I told you about it, I could tell you weren't comfortable with the idea. The last thing I wanna do is make you uncomfortable or unhappy."
"No, I know, Kook. It's not your fault. Trust me. It was beautiful and I really enjoyed it. I just.. felt a bit insecure especially since you didn't push on it. I thought you realized I wouldn’t work. She was way better and you totally saw that. You had this vision with her, and the thought made me feel a bit jealous too. I guess."
"I know this is easier said than done, but don't be. I love you." He brushes the hair away from your face this time. "You don't have to go out of your way to stand out or catch my attention. You don't have to prove anything to me, anyone. Plus, part of me felt kinda dumb for implying the idea knowing how it'd make you feel and how much attention it'd bring."
"What do you mean?"
"I realized it was probably better off this way simply because I didn't want people to paint this picture about us, or to assume our relationship was a certain way. I know there's already lots of things to be said about the video or the song itself, about our story— but at the end of the day, they don't know us like we know us and I'd prefer to keep it that way."
Because even though the relationship is out there, it's not out there. Jungkook tries to keep things balanced, keeping things private as much as possible out of safety— to create boundaries between his professional and private life. He would always put you and Kai first, keeping your safety, your comfortability and your happiness a priority.
Over everything, anything.
The moment he felt your uneasiness while mentioning the video, he retracted. He never wanted to force you, or make you do something that was too out of your comfort zone. He didn't want to cross that line of putting too much out there because he was happy with how things were. It was enough, just enough. And that's all he needed.
You were happy, Kai was happy.
Why would he ever push and ruin that?
"You're right. I understand."
"I hope that helps put you at ease a bit, princess. You can always talk to me about it. There was really no other reason behind me not pushing the idea." He caresses your cheek. "Okay? Nothing else." He kisses your cheek, before your lips. He gently taps the side of your hips before adjusting you on his lap and having you straddle him full on. You wrap your arms around his neck while he stares at you in pure adoration, a smile painted across his lips before he speaks again— "You're my muse. You're in everything that I do, bits of you are sprinkled everywhere. Everywhere that I go, songs that I've created, lyrics scribbled on paper, doodles on my notebook— everything." His hands travel up your sides, giving them a tiny squeeze as he lets out a small exhale against your lips. "You will always be my muse."
"I'm sorry, Jungkook."
"Don't be sorry." He chuckles a bit. "Everything you felt was valid, and I always want you to come to me about these things." You rest your forehead against his.
"I really did enjoy it, though. You always blow me away with everything you do." You kiss him just as you wrap your arms tightly around his neck.
"Yeah?" He chases after your lips, large hands grazing your back as he holds you close to him.
"Mhm." You giggle before poking the tip of his nose. "And uh, the explicit version of the song— we listened to it right before you walked in."
"Cool, huh?" You laugh and shake your head.
"You're crazy."
"You know.." He smirks before biting onto his bottom lip. "Think there's a little bit more explaining I can do for that one. But, I think it'd be better if I showed you."
"Oh?" You watch as Jungkook tears his beanie off and tosses it aside. "I think that'd be good." He leans forward for another kiss— but this time, it's deep. Deep enough for Jungkook to take in a strong inhale through his nose, shakily letting out an exhale once he parts from your lips. He doesn't waste any time before he's kissing you again, tongue swiping against your bottom lip before easing it in. His fingers trace your bare skin underneath your shirt, tips digging into your sides again when he feels you slowly rock against him— his length growing incredibly hard beneath you.
"Yeah, it would be good. Right?" He lets out a small moan in between kisses, hissing when he feels your lips make their way down to his jaw, neck. His hands travel to the hem of the shirt you're wearing, slowly prying it off and tossing it aside. He continues to sit on the edge of the bed while you straddle him, your hands now fiddling with his shirt before he pulls it over his head and joins yours off to the side.
"You aren't tired?" You lay some lazy kisses along his throat, sucking and nipping gently on the surface while his fingers tug at the fabric of your panties.
"Nope, not anymore." You make your way back up to his lips, relishing in every kiss, every squeeze— every bit of Jungkook. Midway, he finally helps you out of your panties before shifting his sweats and boxers down enough to let his cock spring free.  
"You sure?" You tease as you waste no time wrapping your hand around his member, pumping him a few times while listening to him let out a few moans.
"Positive, baby. Need you." He mutters as he signals for you to sink down his length. You do as told, slowly, easily, sinking down until he completely fills you up and bites his bottom lip. "Just like that. Right where you should be."
"Feel so full already, Kook." He chuckles as he adjusts himself better on the bed, tattooed hands traveling up your back, caressing your body, as he showers your tits with kisses. He takes a nipple into his mouth, tongue circling around the hardened peak before pulling back with a pop. Just as you continue to roll against him, he takes the other— giving his tongue a little more freedom to explore before sucking and giving it a quick pop. He continues to shower your chest with feathery kisses, moving to your shoulders and arms while you continue to set the tempo.
"So good— fuck." He moans. "You're doing so good, baby." He tightens his grip around your hips as he continues to praise you. "Just like that." He repeats. You whine, lips grazing his as you work him, ride him— feeling every inch of Jungkook inside of you. The way that your walls engulf him— squeeze him— with every roll of your hips makes it hard for him to hold on. Though, he can tell you're slowly tipping over the edge.
It's the way your face contorts in pleasure.
Your inaudible, silent moans.
The way your body stiffens when you work against him, relishing every bit of his cock before repeating the rhythm.
And he's right, you are close. So close. Jungkook pulls you into a sloppy, wet kiss before he slightly backs away to observe your face, you. He chases after your lips once more, biting onto your bottom lip and making you let out a moan that sounds like music to his ears.
The chase.
His effort.
The way he looks at you in pure adoration, easing you to the edge to see you in pure ecstasy.
Holding you close, keeping his hands on you at all times.
You continue picking up the pace a bit, causing enough friction against your heat. Jungkook calls your name, whispering sweet nothings against your lips as his hand rests on the nape of your neck— the other hand still on your hip. He starts to match your rhythm, your tone, thrusting upwards into you to fully tip you over the edge.
"Kook, I'm— I'm gonna— fuck." You whine as you become desperate, feeling the high settle into the pit of your gut. Finally, you tremble against him and moan loudly against him; hand squeezing his tattooed bicep, the other tangled in his black locks.
"That's it. Good girl." He caresses your back, continuing to thrust himself into you even as you try to come back down from your high. But now, he's there, and he's desperate for his own release. "You're my babygirl. You're everything to me. Everything." You moan loudly with him as he gives you one, two, powerful thrusts. "Everything that I do, everywhere I go. You're my muse. You're mine." He says against your ear, panting as he snaps his hips against you at a faster pace while holding you close; the sound of flesh against flesh filling the room. It's not long before Jungkook is coming undone, the aftershocks still rippling through your body. His cheek is pressed against yours as he pants and lets out a few whines, your walls milking every last bit of him until the very end.
"Kook." You whisper. "I love you. I'm so proud of you and I love you." He laughs lazily as he rubs at your hips.
"I love you too, princess. Good enough explanation for that?"
"Maybe." You giggle as you hop off and scurry off to the bathroom for a quick shower.
"I mean.. we can do more—" He trails behind you and welcomes himself into the shower.
"Jungkook, you need to be up in 3 hours." Your voice echoes in the shower and Jungkook scrunches his nose.
"And?" He laughs. "Running on no sleep is how I work."
"You're too much." You giggle when Jungkook turns you around and wraps his arms around you.
"Baby, baby, baby." He says smugly. "There's more that I'll need to show you, especially for the album."
"Jungkook." You try to scold him but you squeal when he has you wrap your legs around him and presses your back against the tiled wall— the night only leading to more sweet nothings, praises and genuine love. Jungkook loving on you, just as you with him.
Because, you are his muse. You are in everything he does, bits of you sprinkled in everything.
No matter the circumstance. No matter the day, time, year.
You will always be his muse.
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f10werfae · 2 years
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Written on Polaroids
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Pairing: Husband! Chris Evans x Plus size! Latina! Reader
Disclaimer: This story is fiction and should not be taken literally, the behaviour is simply imaginative and the content may be inappropriate
Word count: 1,380
Summary: Request with a filthy smut 😍 (no for real i need to now go say the rosary and pray)
Warnings: Unprotected sex, spit play, dirty talk, breeding kink, n idk what else 🤞
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Requests are open!
Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️
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(Chris' P.O.V)
I greeted the likes of Downey and Mackie as I got onto set, the loud shouts of production filling my ears
Heading into my trailer, pictures of me and my lovely wife were littered everywhere, pictures from our wedding day or when she brought me home to (Insert country)
I was blessed with such an amazing woman, don’t even get me started on her body.
Sitting by my desk, I took off my backpack, reaching in for my script notebook
“Ah shit” Instead of my usual green book, I was instead holding a fluffy pink book in my hands, how the hell did I make that mistake.
“Musta taken Y/n's by mistake” Throwing it onto the desk, something fell by my feet, my eyes instantly widening when I picked it up.
“That minx” Twirling the polaroid in my hand, a picture of us immediately after sex stared back at me, both our bodies covered but our faces still in that post-sex haze.
The back of the photo was dated “14/2/22 Valentines day with Chris <3”
Let’s just say my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to have a snoop through her book, she wouldn’t mind right?
Ignoring the warnings on the front page, partly because they were in Spanish that was wayyy still too advanced for me. The first few pages were just her detailing what went on during the day, chuckles leaving me every time she complained about how i’d leave a dirty plate out.
Then came the pages where the dates showed I was away filming, these pages broke my heart. Details of her day without me, consisted of caring for Dodger, going to work and as she said “moping around”
“Woahohoho” Turning to the next few pages, my eyes jumped to random words such as ‘dick’ on the page sticking out. The dates saying the times I had come home after weeks away, multiple pictures of us post sex all over the double page spread.
“So this is what she does with the pictures she takes” I said out to myself, remembering the times she’d jump out of bed and ask to take a photo of us, more often than not, ending up with me asking for a separate copy to bring with me in my wallet.
Starting to read the first paragraph
“Within seconds of him getting through the front door, his eyes instantly bore into mine, a primal growl leaving him as he picked me up and dragged me upstairs to our bedroom.
His paws clawing away at my clothes, his face smothered into the crook of my neck placing kisses everywhere, leaving me breathless.
With both of us now naked, he placed a wet open mouthed kiss on my lips, all teeth and spit.
Dragging himself down my body to face my wet centre, he dragged a finger down my folds, instantly making me shudder.
He made a comment about wanting to be smothered between my thighs, always wanting to be between my legs, because that’s where he belonged…”
Deciding not to read further, I felt my cock start to ache in my pants, the thought of her filling my mind.
Stuffing her book back into my backpack, I rushed out of my trailer, shouting excuses of major migraines before bolting for my car.
All through the ride home all I could think about were her fleshy tits and kissing them as I pummelled my cock into her pussy.
Parking into the driveway, I rushed inside the house throwing the bag to the side, not announcing my arrival yet.
The sound of her playlist filled the house along with the smell of her famous Empanadas. Smiling to myself at the thought of it all, I sauntered into the kitchen, any pure thoughts I had flying out the window.
There she was, the love of my life, standing in nothing but an oversized shirt, swaying her hips to the music, is she seriously trying to kill me?
Turning around shocked her eyes widened before she greeted me, “Hola Papi? I thought you wouldn’t be home until late”
Dropping her makeshift microphone, her voice like music to my ears.
She walked over, her hands going around my waist as she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes of hers, my home.
“You are in trouble” I whispered, crooking my neck down to meet her lips in a passionate kiss, my hands holding onto her love handles.
“Eh? what’d I do my love?”
“This” I said grabbing her book out of my bag, in seconds she had snatched the book back and clutched it to her chest.
“It’s too late baby, I’ve already seen it” I pushed further, setting the book down away from the both of us, intertwining our hands as I lead her up the stairs.
“Now get on the bed, naked”
(Y/n's P.O.V)
Following his orders, I felt myself getting wetter as time went on, watching as he undid his belt and it all fell to the floor.
Reaching over to stroke him, he caught my hand, “Tonight, i’m taking care of you”
Laying back down he crawled over me, beckoning for me to open my mouth before spitting into it, then bringing me in for a sloppy kiss.
“You are so gorgeous” He beamed looking down at me, his hand caressing my cheeks before his attention went to my chest.
“God should I just knock you up? Make 'em even fuller? Make you a momma?” He whispered, groping one of my breasts in his hands.
A whimper leaving my mouth both from his words and touch.
“Please” I breathed out
“I haven’t even started yet and you’re already begging baby” He laughed, crawling further down, leaving kisses on my tits which were now glimmering in his saliva.
“I love this pussy of yours, fits me so well” He whispered out, placing a kiss right onto my clit making my legs shiver.
“Don’t even get me started on this thighs of yours, fuck I could just love on them forever” Hickies now littering my thighs as he teased closer and closer to my now aching pussy.
“F-fuck Chris” I moaned out, his tongue licking a stripe up my pussy, not letting down and just continuing to ravish it.
Wet filthy sounds filled the room along with our groans, and the occasional spank to my ass.
“Baby, i’m gonna cum” Holding onto his head, I started to grind against his face, groaning when he pulled away.
“You’re only cumming on my cock sweetheart, we both know that”
“Well fucking put it in then, coño”
“Patience or you get nothing” Running the tip up and down my slit, my hips bucked, a deep chuckle radiating through him.
“F-fuck sweets, I can feel your walls tightening around me, fits like a glove” He groaned out as he sank into me, his hands caressing my sides lovingly as he bent down to hover over me again.
Kisses placed all over my neck as he started to drive his cock into me, tears starting to brim as he shushed me gently, his forehead against mine while he placed kisses on my lips every now and again.
“J-just relax baby” He whispered out, one of his hands toying with my nipple before reaching down to circle my bundle of nerves, causing my legs to close in around his waist.
“Gonna fuck you so hard bub, make your pussy all puffy and swollen yeah?” He moaned out, bitting down on my shoulder as his thrusts became more frantic.
“Yeah baby, knock me up, wan’ have your baby Chrissy” Pulling his face up to meet mine, I swallowed his moans as our lips and tongues met in desperation for each otherwise touch.
“I’m cumming hun” I moaned out louder, his thumb now rapidly playing with my clit sending me into overdrive, “go on sweet girl, let it all out for me”
That was all that was needed to send me over the edge, his cum filling me up as we just lay there embracing each other, sensual kisses being placed everywhere.
“Hold on where are you going” I asked watching him get up and slowly moan as he pulled out, heading towards my bedside drawer.
“Polaroid”
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yeah idk I tried my best 🫡 Hope yall like it
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fullsunsets · 8 months
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4| Fine Line | Jaehyun
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Jeong Jaehyun x Female!OC Park Hana
Angst + Fluff + Mature
Word Count: 3.6k
Warning/Notes:  No graphic sex scenes, but minors should still be careful with the following: alcohol abuse, crude language, allusions to corporate abuse, and allusions to sexual promiscuity. Manager Kim is hella annoying. But don't worry, he will get worse.
Summary: Two exes are brought together when both will be leads for the next anticipated drama. Park Hana, an upcoming actress, is not very pleased to act alongside her ex. Jeong Jaehyun, an established actor, has come to the conclusion he wants her back. Would this new project bring them closer once again or push them apart even further?
PREV | NEXT
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Week 3 is already here and Hana cannot wait for the next two weeks to pass. Don’t misunderstand her, she’s happy to be in Boston and she’s enjoying her time with her family and old friends. But as the scenes keep getting more and more intimate with Chansung and Soojin, she doesn’t know if she can hold it for long. At the very least, she’s glad she doesn’t need to kiss him yet. However, she won’t be surprised if they want to start filming those scenes right away when they get back. 
Ever since Donghyuck made explicitly clear he and Hana are not dating by openly flirting around, people have been outspoken over Jaehyun’s and Hana’s so-called chemistry. She wonders if they even know what chemistry is because she tries to run in almost every scene that involves being near Jaehyun. She hasn’t seen any of the scenes so she has no idea if they’re being delusional or she’s pulling it off.
However, her bigger concern right now is Naomi. She hasn’t asked Hana anything about her ex, but she notices the way her friend's face turns into worry every once in a while. She does not regret telling her friend, she knows she means well, so she tries to reassure her friend she has moved on. Naomi has nothing to worry about.
Or so she thought.
“Are you sure you’re ok? Ever since you told me about your ex you have looked more stressful. You even had to do a retake earlier. Last time that happened I had to reunite all of our friends,” Naomi asks concerned and Hana bites her lip, she has indeed been having a hard time since Donghyuck’s birthday. 
“It has nothing to do with that. Why would I be stressing about an ex that’s not even around?” she lies, “Plus, I thought you wanted me to worry less about retakes.”
Her friend seems to get the memo because she stops as she quietly apologizes. Hana assures her she’s not mad. The intentions were good and she understands it. But right now she doesn’t want to be thinking about it. As if they heard her cries for distraction, Manager Jeon comes to notify them they should come out to film. Both friends go out to find most of the crew ready. 
Jaehyun is standing in the middle of the set looking at his script until Hana approaches. He lifts his gaze once she’s standing in front of him but he remains quiet. Since their last argument, he has refrained from talking to her unless the cameras are rolling, instead, he just looks at her. It makes her tense, but she suspects is his way to get her to speak to him so she stands her ground. 
“Action!” they hear Director Kim call out and both of them warp into their characters. 
The scene flows with no problem until Jaehyun wraps one arm around her. She tries to remind herself this is not Jaehyun right now, but Chansung. Her shoulders relax and she smiles back at him. This is not her being in love with Jaehyun but Soojin being in love with Chansung. They are working, becoming two different people. This helps her perform with ease and get lost in the scene. She says the last line, emphasizing her deep feelings for her lover.
Just then the scene ends and the director applauds them. Chansung and Soojin are back to being Jaehyun and Hana and break apart. While just a second ago they looked like lovers now they look like strangers. Quickly, Hana walks towards her stylists, not even acknowledging her costar. This shows to be a poor choice on her part, as everyone takes notice of her icy behavior. 
“What’s wrong with Hana? She’s been so cold to Jaehyun since filming started,” she overhears one staff member gossip and then someone else joins in with a sneer.
“She thinks now that she’s an A-lister she can be bitch to anyone. The typical actress on a power trip,” they comment and Hana clenches her jaw. If only they knew.
Both of them keep talking and giggling at their stupid jokes, not realizing that Hana is listening to everything they’re saying. She wants to say something, but how can she explain herself without people being more suspicious? But she is interrupted when her stylists stop fixing her. When she looks up she notices all of them glaring at the pair. Suddenly, she sees Stylist Im grab a comb and walk towards the staff members.
“Are you here to work or to gossip?” she confronts them while pointing with the comb, “If I knew all production assistants do is sit and chat to get paid I would have become one instead.” 
Both the production assistants look at each other as they stammer. One of them even raises their voice to defend themselves but Stylist Im smacks them with a comb.
“Ouch! I can get you in trouble for that!” they threaten and Stylist Im laughs.
“You think I am threatened? I might be a mere make-up artist to you, but I didn’t survive 12 years in this industry by letting kids like you be disrespectful. I am your coworker as much as Hana is, thus if you had any decency you two wouldn’t be making such comments. Either leave now or I will get you two in trouble,” she barks at them and both straighten themselves as they leave.
Hana bites her leaves as she watches Stylist Im come back looking like she came back from war. Stylist Oh and Stylist Kwon applaud her as they share how much they also wanted to straighten the production assistants.
“Stylist Im, thank you. But you could have gotten in trouble,” she reminds her, but her stylist only smiles.
“Hana-yah, you’re like a little sister like me. I cannot let others talk about you like that. I might not know everything that is going on, but I know you have your reasons. You’re a good person,” Stylist Im reassures her and Hana nods.
“Thanks, eoni,” she hugs her.
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“My birthday is coming, do you have anything planned?” Manager Kim asks with a smirk but Jaehyun rolls his eyes.
“No, I don’t. If you want to celebrate go back to Seoul with your family,” Jaehyun responds as he walks to his dressing room.
“I don’t think you want people to see how you treat your manager,” he warns him making Jaehyun laugh.
“And I’m sure you don’t want people to know how much you don’t care about your actor either,” he opens the door to the dressing room and then closes it in Manager Kim’s face.
He sits down although the stylists haven’t arrived. While he waits he grabs his phone and starts playing games. The door opens and he hears Stylist Seo talking to someone outside without realizing he’s inside waiting. When he hears Hana’s name being mentioned he stops and remains quiet.
“Of course, I saw how she ignored Jaehyun yesterday. So unprofessional of her. I don’t care if she’s considered an A-lister now, he’s her sunbae. I even heard she thinks she’s too good for Jaehyun. She didn’t even want him in the drama.  Seriously, such an entitled b-” She almost kept going until Jaehyun finally stood up and cleared his throat. 
“Oh, go on. If you’re going to screw you better go all for it,” he crosses his arms and Stylist Seo blushes as the staff member she was talking to leaves, “I made myself clear when I told you not to spread more rumors. I also said there won’t be third chances.”
“Jaehyun-ssi, please, I-” she rushes to him and bows down, “it’s not my fault. I didn’t start the rumors. Everyone is suspicious of her. You can’t blame us. She’s so cold towards you for no reason.”
Angry at this, he leaves his dressing room as he ignores Stylist Seo following him and calling out to him. He reaches the set where most of the staff is already waiting. Some of them look at him confused when they notice he’s still in his regular clothes and his stylist following. He keeps going, not even noticing that Manager Kim has started calling for him. Once he reaches Director Kim he stops and the latter looks at him delighted but confused. 
“Oh, Jaehyun-ssi! Why are you here? You’re still in your regular clothes,” he points out and Jaehyun nods.
“Can I please say something to the crew? Something important came to my notice,” he explains and Director Kim nods right away. 
“Of course, I don’t mind my actors being outspoken. Go on,” he permits him although still looking confused.
Jaehyun clears his throat and looks at the rest of the crew, even noticing Stylist Seo whispering at Manager Kim. As his expression changes, Jaehyun starts to speak before he’s interrupted
“Whoever started to spread rumors about Park Hana and I better stop. Hana is one of the most professional actresses I have worked with. We have all been working with Hana for months, filming for a few weeks. Y’all should know better. I see how she treats everyone here and I am disappointed this is how you talk behind her back. Just because I am her sunbae and she’s not sucking up to me shouldn’t give anyone permission to say whatever they want. We’re not friends, of course, we won’t be spending time chit-chatting after scenes. So please stop if y’all don’t want me to complain again,” he demands and the crew looks at him in shock, he looks to his side to find Director Kim’s face morphing from shock to anger. He thinks for a second he is going to get yelled at until he sees him look back at the crew.
“I must have been slacking on my duties, because if I had known of this behavior I would have put a stop to it. Some of you have worked with Hana before, Jaehyun is right, you should know better. This is a place to work, not spread rumors like school bullies. It better be the last time something like this has to come to my attention,” Director Kim glares at everyone and then looks back at Jaehyun, “Thank you, Jaehyun-ssi. I have great respect for Hana and I hate to know this is how everyone is treating her behind my back.”
“No worries, sir. I also hate hearing others badmouth my coworkers. I’ll be sure to notify you if something like this ever happens again,” he promises as he bows in respect, “I’ll be heading to my dressing room. Sorry for delaying production.”
After Director Kim tells him to never apologize about it, he starts to walk back to his dressing room. However, he soon notices Donghyuck and Hana have been looking at him. Once Hana realizes he has noticed her she walks away and Jaehyun sighs. He isn’t expecting anything from her, but he wishes she could see he’s being genuine. A scoff is heard from his side and he looks to find Donghyuck rolling his eyes at him.
“Not amount of pretending to care will bring her back,” Donghyuck promises, and Jaehyun looks at his old friend in sadness.
“I’m not pretending to care, Donghyuck,” he admits but Donghyuck glares at him.
“If you truly cared for Hana you wouldn’t have broken our trust,” he sneers, “And don’t ever call me by that name. I’m not your friend anymore.”
“Look, Dong-Haechan,” he holds Donghyyck’s shoulder before he can walk away, “I know I broke your and Hana’s trust, but I am being honest. It’s my fault people are badmouthing her. They have no idea she should be treating me worse than what I’m getting. I don’t expect her to come back by acting nice, I don’t want her to because she deserves better.” 
“At least you know your place, keep it that way,” Donghyuck pushes his hand away and Jaehyun takes a deep breath as he holds back his tears.
Not only did he lose Hana, but a best friend. Why did he let it come to this?
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If Jaehyun didn’t know how delusional and greedy his manager is, he would have been surprised right now, but he’s certainly not. After making it clear he had no plans for celebrating Manager Kim’s birthday, he found out the man had reserved a place and told everyone Jaehyun planned it. He wasn’t pleased when he found out the day before and had to go out and try to find a gift. However, not caring at all, he just got an envelope and put some cash on it. At least it was something, right?
While for Donghyuck’s birthday, they went to a family-owned Korean restaurant in Allston, that seemed to be too low for Manager Kim. Instead, today they were close to Downtown Boston in a fancy Japanese restaurant. When they entered, Jaehyun realized Manager Kim must have planned this before they came to Boston. There is no way he could have reserved a place like this in less than a week. Not only that, but he probably paid good money since he reserved the entire place for most of the crew. 
Once the event started, Jaehyun gave the envelope to Manager Kim and then sat far away from him. Some people looked at him surprised, since after that he never addressed his manager again. Instead, he sat next to Director Kim with whom he talked for most of the night. After the incident two days ago, Jaehyung has come to trust and respect the older man even more. The two of them had made sure no more rumors were flying around, even getting the help of Head Producer Park and Producer Lee. To be honest, he is glad they haven’t asked him why he was so adamant about protecting Hana.
As the night went on, it became clear Jaehyun wasn’t the only one who didn’t want to be there. A few tables down, Hana, Donghyuck, and Manager Jeon were sitting and not talking much. Naomi and Justin were not invited for unknown reasons, but Hana has her suspicions. She had only met Manager Kim twice before the drama and all were when she was still dating Jaehyun. None of the instances were pleasant as he always went out of his way to point out how much he disliked Hana. There also seemed to be bad blood between him and Manager Jeon. Thus, when they arrived at the restaurant only Hana said ‘Happy birthday’ to the man. Albeit lacking any warmth whatsoever.
She always knew Jaehyun never liked him either, they used to get into disagreement quite easily. However, even she was surprised when she noticed Jaehyun had kept his distance from the man all night. From the moment Manager Kim invited everyone to his birthday party, she knew he was lying when he insisted it was Jaehyun’s idea. But she didn’t know how much their relationship had worsened over the years. A part of her wants to know what happened between those two, but another reminds her Jaehyun is no longer someone important in her life for her to care about. Thus, she focused on enjoying the expensive food and this boring night.
However, Hana couldn’t keep the facade for much longer. Once she noticed everyone gathering she realized it was time to sing Happy Birthday. It might be childish of her, but she’s not standing around with those people and pretending to wish well to the one person who hoped for her career’s downfall. Thus, she stood up and left the building for a breath of fresh air. Not like she was gonna get any. The restaurant was on a narrow street southwest of South Station. The only thing in front of her was an even taller building that seemed to sell office furniture, not too far from her she could see a Dunkin’s. There was something about it so weirdly Boston it made her chuckle. 
“What are you laughing at, weirdo?” she hears Donghyuck from behind her making her jump a little.
“Nothing important, I just thought of something stupid,” she shakes her head but then looks at her friend, “But why are you here?”
“You thought I would want to waste my amazing talents on that classist asshole? If he wants me to sing for him he better pay me,” Donghyuck mouths and she rolls her eyes.
“I’m actually surprised Manager Jeon hasn’t followed you, I feel like they hate him the most out of the three of us,” she points out and Donghyuck shrugs.
“They seemed to be enjoying the food too much to care,” he informs her, “But I did see Jaehyun leave for the bathroom. I guess not even his actor can stand his ass.”
Hana nods, not knowing what to say. She wants to say she does not care, but she cannot deny the small bit of worry creeping at her. 
“About Jaehyun, I guess he meant it when he said he wanted to keep people from spreading rumors. I heard him talk to the producers and some people won’t be part of the Seoul crew after the things they said about you and Jaehyun,” Donghyuck notifies her and Hana looks out at the distance. 
“And what about it?” it’s all she says. 
“I am just warning you, don’t be fooled by his character. We know what he did last time,” he whispers in case someone else comes out, Hana stops and looks at her friend. She knows he means well, but that doesn’t mean she has to like his tone.
“I’m not a child, Donghyuck. Just because I fell for him once doesn’t mean you have to talk to me like I wouldn’t know better this time,” she makes her displeasure known, “I won’t give him a second chance. I’m not stupid.”
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Hana doesn’t know what to expect when Screenwriter Ahn asks to meet up with her and Jaehyun. Perhaps some thanks for what they have done so far, or some basic lines she wanted to add. Never in a million years, she would have expected what have just come out of Screenwriter Ahn’s mouth.
“I was thinking we should have a kiss scene,” she grins and both Jaehyun and Hana jump out of their seats.
“A kiss?!” they both yell out and then look at each other taken back. Hana then straightens herself and clears her throat.
“I mean… we haven’t even started filming the main story. Why a kiss?” she tries to reason and Screenwriter waves both her hands in dismissal.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re playing exes and we’re getting a glimpse of your past relationship. Not only what tore you apart but the beautiful parts of the relationship, that way it is easier for the viewers to understand why there would still be feelings present after so long. Besides, after seeing you two act together I realized you two look good together, more than I expected. Your screen chemistry is so great. A kiss scene would just cement that even more,” she beams and Hana shakes her head before she can stop herself.
“I-I don’t know… I’m not so sure,” Hana stutters trying to find a way to protest this without bringing suspicion toward her.
“What Hana is trying to say is that we’re still not comfortable around each other for such scenes. We never even prepared for a possible kiss scene since we were told that would only happen when we start filming in Seoul. Is the scene necessary?” Jaehyun argues surprising Hana, he must have ulterior motives, right?
“Could have fooled us,” Director Kim chuckles, “We all think it’s a great idea. You two are professionals, I’m sure you will pull it off.”
Everyone starts to nod in agreement and Hana sighs. Seeing how everyone agreed Director Kim and Screenwriter Park approve of the scene. There is nothing else they can do. Director Kim tries to suggest when to squeeze the scene in since they only have two weeks of filming. With this Hana gets an idea, she might not be able to stop it, but she might be able to delay it as much as possible.
“We can leave it for the last day of filming,” Hana suggests and all eyes are set on her, “It’s nice to hear we’re great actors, but Jaehyun and I are being honest. We still need a bit more time to get used to each other. Two weeks should be enough, right?”
Director Kim and both producers start to talk between the three of them and then Screenwriter Ahn joins. Hana worries about the outcome, there is no way they will suggest filming the scene immediately, right? It’s still not officially added and they were notified about it only 30 minutes ago.
“Well,” Head Producer looks at Hana and Jaehyun, “Looking at our filming schedule the last day of filming seems to be the only day we have space anyways. Screenwriter Ahn also has to finish writing the scene. Just make sure to work with each other. The scene is already approved.”
Both Hana and Jaehyun nod, but none of them are at peace. They weren’t prepared for this. Hana tries to relax, reminding herself she was going to have to kiss Jaehyun sooner than later anyways. She’s a professional, she can and will do this.
However, a small voice in her head, a tiny voice she does not want to acknowledge keeps going. 
Why is this bothering so much if she insists she has moved on? There is no way she still has feelings for Jaehyun, right?
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MASTERLIST
A/N: Chapter 5 should be posted sometime in September. After that, ACT I should be done. I want to keep posting at least one chapter a month, but let's see if it will be possible.
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davekat-sucks · 4 months
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Nepeta x Caliborn.....
Would it work out? Caliborn is a Karkat parallel who Nepeta crushes on hard( and i guess parallels Equius if you want to count Lord English.) Nepeta would remind Caliborn of his sister who he absolutely fucking hates, while Nepeta and Calliope are similar the difference between the two is Nepeta is genuine and Calliope is full of shit. Nepeta roleplays because it's fun Calliope does it because she wants to be someone else, Nepeta likes drawing and "playing games" as they say in the comic, stuff Caliborn likes too. Calliope does as well but Nepeta isn't haughty she more so teases doesn't take herself so seriously, remember that chess log? Throughout that log Calliope was rubbing it in Caliborns face about winning, then he flips the script and snaps when she's losing, she starts insulting him, she's a sore loser. Plus the romance stuff, Caliborn hates too admit it but he secretly likes soft romantic stuff he's just too retarded to handle it. Nepeta is all about shipping but she also likes more than just redrom, it makes me think: while Caliborn is extremely aggressive and creepy so are Karkat and Equius, she's into Karkat and is best friends with Equius I feel like she could get along with Caliborn since she wouldn't insult his interests and can level with people, do you think she could soften Caliborn up a little? This ship could be red or pale potentially if Caliborn is even capable of that but if not it would still work out as a pitch ship. Thoughts?
I could see it as a pitch ship that the two would be rivals when it comes to engaging to the hobbies and interest in drawing. Of course, Nepeta won't take shit from Caliborn when he degrades her for being a female. It would be amusing to imagine if he does give respect to Nepeta more as an artist compared to Calliope. If to spite his sister and also he finds it intriguing she would use paints from animals she kills. Caliborn would really pull a lot of dead Nepeta jokes on her to rile her up. There could be a small pity from him that she had been reduced to nothing and would say if he were a writer, he would have let her have a bigger role than just some side piece of becoming a completely whole new character (aka Davepetasprite^2).
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nobodysdaydreams · 5 months
Text
CUTTER'S LITTLE GIRLFRIEND CAN JOIN THE ERRAND BOYS IN THE AIRLOCK, I HOPE THE HEPHESTUS CREW TAKES OVER THE SHIP AND DESTROYS CUTTER, AND I KNEW THE EMPTY MAN WAS COMING BACK!
(or my reaction to Wolf359 episodes 41-43 plus the episode 43 post-credits scene).
Welcome back dear readers. I have had multiple people independently message me to say that this next reaction is a big one, and I'm not sure if that means I should be scared or excited.
Also, is it just me, or are these episodes getting longer? Like...a lot longer? This one is 43 minutes, and the season 1 episodes were about half that. Which is fine, but I might not be able to react to as many in a row, and will likely be doing housework during them. Sorry about that, but hopefully the reactions are still good.
Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.
@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom
Episode 41: Memoria
Thanksgiving Episode! 🦃 Kind of perfect that I'm listening to this now. But why does this feel like a flashback? Unless Lovelace is in the bathroom and they threw everyone else out the airlock?
Aw Hera...this is beautiful. St. Augustine's Confessions. That did sound familiar. As does "rub a dub dub thank for the grub!"
...what is this? Well that mood changed quickly. Oh this is dark. Oh wow she hears THEM as being distorted. She hears all of them like that all the time. That's scary.
Maxwell this is private. But oh boy am I excited for this one.
So...she's in a robot coma? "Pure Memory Consciousness" okay.
MAXWELL. Those are her memories! DO NOT DELETE HER MEMORIES!
Okay Discount Dr. Garrison.
...and now we have Minkowski's musical theater. That's nice. And yeah, Hera is nice. Minkowksi. Don't say that.
"There's a red flashy light show in the hanger bay" Doug is fantastic.
Yeah constantly dealing with your friends screaming at you to save them and not let them die is a lot of pressure. Leave Hera alone.
Maxwell, you're still here. Oh yeah...Hera's replacement. She doesn't deserve to be replaced.
Okay, I see why so many people were recommending this episode to me. Rewriting and deleting traumatic memories is something that I have written about in my fics. The funny thing is, the people who did that in my fics also started erasing memories in less willing individuals for less than benevolent purposes. But hey, surely the Wolf359 villains would nevvveeerrrr stoop so low.
Oh wow. Now it's Hera hearing DOUG'S voice in her head. 😂😂😂 Yes, Star Wars. 😂😂😂 I need to get Doug's reaction to the Sequels. It's also really cool to hear Hera's voice without the distortion.
"Shortcomings...no one is here to make friends..." she's focusing all her attention on Doug so she can hear him talk about Star Wars? 🥹💕Hilbert shut up that's wonderful.
And yes Doug, good point. She CAN hear you.
Not the count to ten without glitching thing. I don't like this. No bueno.
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING. SHE'S A PERSON!
As someone who writes about AI, is she designed after a certain person's personality, or is she more of a "free script AI"? Either way, I wonder who designed her and what they had in mind.
"They could have made me better, they made me me". EXACTLY. "This is my life. I don't want to go. But if this is it, I'd rather go as me." TELL THEM HERA!
Oh ew. I knew it was Cutter before they even said it.
Shut up about Cutter. He doesn't know anything. And the fact that Duck and Whisky boy have a bet going is gross.
YES HERA! You can't change people!
The other half is Hera. And YOU. Because y'all have NOT been supportive crewmates. Doug has been stepping up, but everyone else needs get on board.
Maxwell. "Feeling bad is a dumb reason your code can't run". I certainly hope you don't have any friends with depression or anxiety.
Um. Uhhhh... is that her subconsciousness? Is that another Hera? OH MY GOSH DID THEY PUT THAT INSIDE HER TO STOP HER FROM REBELLING? BECAUSE SHE TRIED TO ESCAPE?
They did, didn't they. OH MY GOSH THE COUNTING! Cutter did this didn't he? He needs to go. He needs to go right now. He is such a coward.
"Access Denied" That's Cutter isn't it? Isn't it? Oh and the environment changing with Hera's emotions is a nice touch.
Oh here we are. Buried deep. Welcome to truth town.
"Just a memory" um...are you sure about that.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!!!! I KNEW IT WAS CUTTER THAT SLIMEY FOOL.
The best? See. I knew Hera was the best.
Wait. What.
WHHHHAAATTTTT????
Well, well, well, well, well, well, WELL. So THIS is Cutter's Garrison. The whole time I was thinking it was Maxwell. Modeled the AI after her own brain no doubt. Weird that she feels comfortable enough to call him "Marcus". Let's un-pause the episode and see what her deal is (I get the feeling I won't like her as much as I like Garrison in TMBS).
"It Marcus. Never her. It." Oh I hate her. I hate how comfortable she is with Cutter, I hate that she uses Hera's voice, I hate that she clearly modeled the AI after HERSELF and KNOWS they are human but still choses to call them it like she's on a power trip. What's the matter? Scared one of your robot creations will end up being a better version of you? Don't worry. I get the feeling it's a very low bar. (Also you were right Sophie. The pronoun switch here is EXACTLY like what I wrote in my fic).
"Back door into the subconscious...make these things have my voice..." Disgusting, absolutely disgusting. I swear, if a robot shows up with CUTTER'S VOICE I am gonna vomit. That is HERA's voice. This lady is the friend Cutter was talking about isn't she? I bet she made all his tech too, he probably couldn't build a robot to save his life.
Oh ew is she Pryce? Ugh. That would make too much sense.
"Neural restraints but it can hear you". / "Hahaha...good...hi Unit 214. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to clip your wings. Allow me to share a thought." SHE IS DISGUSTING. REVOLTING. She clearly loves torturing her robots. I see why she and Cutter, oh I'm sorry "Marcus" get along so well. They certainly seem rather chummy.
MIRANDA PRYCE I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.
YOU KNOW WHAT MIRANDA. YOU CAN'T DO THIS. YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Um..."keep it boxed?" Was that the box Doug was trying to open earlier?
A yes deleted scenes...watching a completely different movie...I do love to do that in my writing.
Dr. Miranda Pryce. Hera's Voice Model. Robot Designer. Sadist. Waste of Space.
Not sure whether "Cutter's little girlfriend" or "Cutter's Garrison" is a more appropriate title for her right now. She certainly seems to be his Garrison, more so than Maxwell even, but not loving how close they seem. Not even Rachel or Kepler call Cutter "Marcus". Either way, she need to go.
Can't take it out? You can do it Hera. You are stronger than Pryce. She hasn't even been brave enough to show her face. She had to make you insecure and call you "it" just to have power over you, because she KNOWS she could never earn your respect.
YES! USE YOUR FRIENDS VOICE TO DROWN IT OUT! HECK YEAH!
PFFTTT... Doug telling her to use the force 😂 I love it.
Um...so what happened?
37 hours. Yikes. Good work Maxwell, you're earning a potential redemption faster than Duck Boy and Whisky Boy.
Yeah Hera. You will be okay. Right after we throw Cutter's little robot girlfriend out the airlock with the errand boys.
Episode 42: Time to Kill
Hopefully this episode isn't as intense.
"We'll be FINE" don't jinx it Jacobi.
oh good Doug has cards, so they don't have to play Funzo, a game that Pryce and Cutter CLEARLY MADE UP JUST TO TORTURE THE CREW BECAUSE THEY ARE SADISTS. Seriously. They are the worst. I hope they get everything that's coming to them.
And why do I get the feeling that Cutter's "inner circle" is little just him and maybe this Miranda Pryce person? I seriously doubt Kepler or Rachel made the cut.
Is Minkowski still not talking to him because of the jail time thing? She needs to get over that. He's sorry, and there are more important things going on right now.
"Nothing to hear..."
Well well well. I beg to differ. You all tried to gaslight me dear readers, but at last the truth revealed.
THE EMPTY MAN IS HERE! 🥳
"Who said anything about people?" "It's moving"
"This door is completely secure".
THE KNOCKS.
IT DID ANSWER. IT DID COPY YOU.
THE EMPTY MAN RETURNS!
An incoming hail you say????
Uh...is that...um... oh my goodness. This IS bad. One duck boy is bad enough, we can't handle two.
One is clearly an alien or an evil clone. The only sensible solution is to throw them both out of the airlock. It's sad but a sacrifice that needs to be made.
And that's right Doug. You DID tell them. Just like I said the empty man mattered, and everyone said "it doesn't Bods" but I knew better and so did my boy Doug. Welcome to truth town ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to truth town!
But um. If the aliens can um...copy people then...Lovelace...uh oh. Oh no. It doesn't even seem like she knows.
Though it does make sense. They already copied Doug's voice. Why not copy the rest of him too? Only a matter of time before copies of the others show up. At least they can't copy Hera...or can they? Hm. Would she look like Pryce then?
This is straight out of a dark fairytale where you see or hear someone who looks and sounds like your loved ones.
There's only one way to tell who the real Jacobi is.
We need a duck.
"It's trying to turn you against me" Jacobi, honey, we're already against you, you don't need any help with that.
YES DOUG! I KNEW IT! IT IS THE EMPTY MAN!
Oh right they don't know about that. But Doug is dead on the money.
The flares??? Oh I see...so that's how they do it.
And um...how about the possibility that the clones actually BELIEVE they are Duck Boy. And possibly Lovelace. It certainly sounds like they believe it.
Look. Guys. The solution is simple. Kill them both. It's tragic, and I hate to see Duck Boy go, but we have no choice. We must consider the safety of the crew.
The outside guy is hesitating on his answers.
"If there is any chance that it's A real Jacobi, we can't just leave him out there!" In all seriousness, as much as I hate to say it, Doug is right. You can't risk human life like that. But in the world of the fictional narrative, do we really need to keep any Duck Boys around?
Uh...Lovelace? Lovelace?
So this is why the episode was called time to kill. Because it was time to kill someone.
Oh gosh. The aliens might not like them after this.
Perhaps they should have let him in. Maybe that was the real Jacobi. Or a real Jacobi. Or maybe neither of them were. Or maybe none of them are their real selves. But there is one thing I know is true. The empty man is real, and at last I have my proof.
Nah, he's gone Maxwell. But at least you have a backup Duck Boy.
Just the four of us...all on our own...
But Doug. How do you know? How do you know that you are truly alone?
And that's the end of this one. I see what you mean. The show is getting good. It was already good before but… things are getting interesting…
Episode 43: Persuasion (plus an end credits scene 👀)
I'm glad Maxwell is helping Hera out. But if her allegiance comes down to Hera or Kepler, I hope she makes the right choice.
It's okay Doug. We all miss meetings sometimes.
And yeah...it's nice to know the plan for this alien contact.
"And how relaxed are you at the moment?" it's such a funny line when I imagine Hilbert and Doug as the same guy talking to himself (thank you live show).
YES! Hit him Maxwell!
"We're there for each other" Since when? Since when are Cutter's errand boys there for anyone but themselves?
Same Minkowski. Like what even is their relationship?
Hilbert is me every time Doug coughs.
"You talk about helping people, but what about the real life people around you?" Doug is speaking straight facts Hilbert.
YES! Everything Doug is saying is true.
"You lack vision." "At least I don't lack a soul". Hilbert lacks more than a soul he lacks rational common sense because he is letting one very traumatic thing color his whole view of this. Like. The decima virus will only help people if you get it out of the hands of Mr. Crazy Psycho Man (Cutter). Can you do that Hilbert? If not, your work was for basically nothing.
Oh dear. Minkowski!
Aw, she saved Maxwell. See, she's actually a GOOD boss. Unlike some people, I won't name names.
I hope they can save her.
Oh good. See? Work together, save a crewmate.
"That was some fun" We'll see how you like it when you're in that position Kepler. Try again? Oh no, no, no. How about YOU try it Kepler?
SHE CAN CALL HER HUSBAND!!!
He probably thinks she's dead or missing in action or whatever horrible lie Cutter told him. Oh but he's a journalist. I hope he puts him on blast. I hope he puts Cutter and his whole operation all over the news.
Pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up pick up...
This is agony.
Oh she got his secretary.
HE THINKS SHE'S BEEN DEAD FOR OVER A YEAR????
...and that means Doug's daughter...and everyone else...i just- I- FOR A YEAR???...oh my goodness...
Cutter was already a dead man. But I believe this action just brought him back to life. I have another plan for him now. Something worse. Something so much worse.
Okay...so Jacobi is human...or at least he appears to be?
"You killed a man...that might catch up to you..." do you speak from experience Kepler?
"You're okay with hearing Jacobi screaming in agony as he undergoes a horrible death?" Kepler, you're okay with literally everyone else doing exactly that. Please stop trying to have the moral high ground, you're standing in the world's deepest of ditches.
We're beyond horribly wrong Doug. We are FAR beyond that.
Very specific instructions. Good work Minkowski. Doug will appreciate that.
And yep. You are dead. You've been dead for a while now.
Killing Kepler? This better not be like killing Hilbert where I got my hopes up just for him to start crying about his sister.
I better not be blasting Goodbye Earl by the Dixie Chicks for nothing.
End Credits Scene:
Oh Hilbert and Lovelace...what a pair...
Still kinda dark to manipulate their friends like that, but what else were they expecting from command?
And... wow. Those were some episodes. Normally I pick the best of the three to make my title, but this is gonna be a challenge. Let's see if I can cover all my bases.
Also if Miranda ends up being...idk Cutter's relative or something, I'll change the title, but right now I'm going just gonna call her his little girlfriend because I absolutely despise her.
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scorpiongrassfield · 6 months
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You and Pat are Alone Again 
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Pat is staring blankly at the door. 
“This is… a lot to take in,” they say after an extended silence. 
“Yeah, kind of,” you agree. 
“Does 'Theo' actually exist or was that all just an act?” Pat wonders. 
“I don’t think it was an act, although he did mention sticking to a script a few times."
Pat folds their arms, looking grumpy. “Doesn’t that make it more likely that it was all an act?” 
You shake your head. “I don’t think so.” 
Pat scrunches their eyes up and rubs at their face, looking very tired. 
“You really seem sure he isn’t out to hurt us,” they sigh. 
“I’m not, not really,” you admit. 
Pat gives you a look. 
“It’s just. I want to trust him. I want to be the kind of person that can trust other people,” you explain. 
That seems to knock the wind out of Pat’s sails. They don’t say anything for a long time, but you can practically see the gears turning in their head as they think. 
You aren’t sure what conclusion they come to, or about what, because the next thing they say is “Alright. What now?” 
“Well. Theo wants us to figure something out. So we should probably work on figuring it out,” you say. 
“Back to the murder board, then?” Pat sighs. They’re much less enthusiastic about it now. 
“Probably our best bet, yeah,” you agree. 
The two of you go back to the living room. 
Concrete is batting around a toy mouse. Pat asks it if it knew its dad was secretly a guardian. Concrete pays them absolutely no mind. 
Pat sighs again. They mutter about possession still making the most sense out of the options, but you get the feeling they don’t actually want to argue about it. 
They start pinning up more pieces of paper. These ones have things written on them like “no sun?” and “Deja Vous”. 
While they work, you explain to them what the shadow, or Theo you guess, asked of you before. About the deal, about him knowing Pat better than you, about Pat having asked him to protect you. 
“And I’ve got no recollection of this. Aren’t you supposed to be the one with amnesia?” Pat grumbles. 
“It’s not impossible that you forgot, though.” 
“No, it’s not.” Pat admits. 
Silence falls again. 
The sound of the fire has gotten a bit quieter. You assume that’s Theo’s doing. 
After some time, Pat speaks up again. “I don’t want to believe it,” they murmur.
“Believe what?” There are too many unbelievable options to count at this point. 
“I just… Yeah we had a falling out, and we aren’t exactly friends anymore, but I don’t think she’d ever hurt me. We went our separate ways /because/ she couldn’t hurt me, I’m pretty sure. So why would she fuck with my memory now?” 
You don’t have an answer for them. 
“Plus, not hurting the living is part of her creed. Even if she hates my guts now, she wouldn’t use her powers on me. Unless it was for the ‘greater good’ or something, but… I just don’t know,” they sigh again. 
Your pulse jumps as you realize you can think of a pretty good reason why Ametrine might try to erase some of Pat’s memory. 
You don’t want to think about it. 
“How do her powers work, exactly? If she made us forget that we’ve met Theo before, is that why you keep getting deja vous?” you redirect. 
Pat shakes their head. “No. When she erases memories for a person she basically burns them right out of someone’s head. There’s no recovering that. Although…” Pat trails off. 
You wait for them to continue, pointedly not thinking about it. 
“There was that one time it didn’t work as intended. And that person had a guardian,” Pat pauses to connect the deja vous card to Ametrine, the shadow, and themself.
“Her powers have never worked right when it comes to guardians. I don’t know the specifics, but I do know that someone she made forget about her ended up tracking her down,” they say. 
“So it’s possible that Theo being here kept you from forgetting completely?” you say, trying to keep the sickly sinking feeling out of your stomach. 
“It’s possible,” they agree. 
Concrete comes over to you, curling around your legs and purring. Like it wants to comfort you. 
You’re not thinking about it. 
You aren’t. 
“But. That doesn’t explain why she would want to wipe my memory. I haven’t ratted her out yet, and I probably never will. Me knowing about ghosts isn’t a threat to her, so why…” 
Fuck. 
You’re going to have to think about it. 
But the question is, will you share your thoughts? 
Next
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damatris · 7 months
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I was tagged by @fieldofclover!
Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.
First fic you ever published there: Born of Familiarity
I ended up hyperfixating on The Witcher (all versions tbh, it's got so many cakes. And it's still having me in its grip.) in 2019 when Netflix released the 1st season. In spring 2020 I was painting a portrait of Geralt and the sentence "To Geralt Jaskier registered as quiet." popped up in my head and didn't leave me alone until I started unveiling the reason. And then I ended up writing the thoughts down in fic format, writing prose for the first time in like 8 years and fic in maybe 14 years? The overwhelming positive reception only fed into the rediscovering of how much fun writing prose is (had been doing only comic scripting) and I continued writing more fics. That one also ended up being the 1st fic of the series that's my main focus.
Last fic you published: Flying High, Falling Low (Latest update was on Winter Winds and Snowmelt though)
I'll be talking about both fics later on.
Any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once: Ouija Phone
It's a very slightly longer than a drabble crack fic for The Umbrella Academy. I just thought it'd be funny. It's also the only fic that's not for The Witcher on ao3.
Your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works: Winter Winds and Snowmelt
Will talk about it later.
Fic you wish more people read: I Get To Watch You Grow Up Now
This one is purely book based fic involving Dandelion and Essi. It's a short snapshot of their almost familial relationship. I personally like how it turned out despite not much happening.
Tbh, I'm not surprised at all that this particular fic has far less interaction than my other ones since it's not geraskier or has any other ship either. Plus Essi is only in a single one shot in the book series so she's not so well known character.
Fic you agonized over the most: Flying High, Falling Low
Decided to go with this instead of any long fic because the amount of agonizing versus word count is higher despite having written a bulletin point fic a couple of years ago which I used as an outline.
This one was for the Disability Pride Month Challenge in a discord group and I decided to use bipolar disorder. Which is what I have so I ended up using A Lot of personal experiences and that was both difficult and freeing. It's not the 1st time I've put them on paper or even leaned into fics but this time there wasn't much redressing some of the symptoms into different things/reasons and creating distance that way.
It's kinda surprising how very, very few fics there are with bipolar Jaskier since a lot of his canon behavior fits it. But from what I've observed, people tend to give him adhd if he's written neurodivergent. I wonder if it's because of adhd is better known or if it's because of the stigma still clinging to bipolar disorder (...most likely because of a combination...).
Fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort: There's Harshness In Your Voice And Softness In Your Hands
This is a funny and lighthearted one with concussed Jaskier. It was so much fun writing him being a bit loopy and saying only parts of his thoughts out loud to Geralt's exasperation. Plus, I got to write a whole silly ditty for it that I posted as a 2nd chapter. The whole fic was written wayyy past midnight during an insomnia spell which absolutely lent itself for Jaskier's thought process. It's also my most popular fic by a pretty large margin when looking at kudos, however I don't consider it as such. (That would go to Biting Snake Isn't Better Than Knife In Your Back due to the comments and bookmarks. Sorry for sneaking in a fic not asked for)
A work you are proud of—for whatever reason: Winter Winds and Snowmelt
Winter Winds... Gosh, I have so many feelings about this fic (And Biting Snake too which is the immediate prequel). I'm really happy with the way I managed to treat serious topics about mental health, recovery from trauma, and building healthy relationships both romantic and platonic. It's not a perfect representation but the way multiple readers have told me how much they see themselves/in general identify with what the characters are going through and how it has brought them comfort makes me feel like I've done a good job. Not to mention that people have loved the slow healing and found each chapter interesting is so so great to hear. Especially since Winter Winds is the longest fic by a large margin in the Geraskier tag on AO3. Which I still find absolutely wild! I have no idea how it's currently a bit over 472k words.
Also, I'm so very proud about the fact that I'm currently writing the last chapter of it. It's been a long ride, both with time and word count. I started it in fall 2020 so it's going to be slightly less than a 3 year project. And I'm almost finished. I'm actually having so many feelings about finishing that the last chapter is a very slow writing as I'm also letting go of the fic and all the emotions I've gone through while writing it. Although, the series it's part of isn't even close to finished so I don't have to say goodbye to these particular versions of the characters.
Uhh.. I never know who to tag but @dapandapod maybe you want to talk about your fics...!
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pickledpascal · 2 years
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There’s a She-Wolf in the Closet
Chapter Eleven: Americano
Summary: Jayden’s dream finally comes true.
Warnings: None!
Word Count: 1k
TASWITC Masterlist
Previous Chapter Next Chapter
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A scream is how Jayden Wayne started her day. As usual, the woman checked her emails and voicemails in case anyone called her while she was asleep. And guess what? She got a call back! For a movie she really wanted to get. A superhero. Jay was immensely happy and very excited to be blessed with a big role like this. Superhero movies were all the buzz nowadays and she was sure it would do well even if it did turn out to be bad.
The young woman had her agent request for the whole script and say she was all in. Speaking of which, Jayden called up her porn agency and stated that she quit. She had enough money saved up to get her through the months before filming. After all, she wasn’t the only person getting hired for the film. They had to hire other roles, extras, costume designers, VFX people, etc. The producer of the film told Jayden that there was, at the very least, two months of free time before they would fly her out to the location(s) they would need her to bed, including costume fittings. The young girl was glad she had some time before filming to get her feelings together and think of what to say when the inevitable questions were asked during press.
Jayden was incredibly relieved she could quit porn, it wasn't the worst with the people she worked with but the fans and comments she would get were less than desirable. People were strangely picky about her genitals? Never thought she'd see the day but apparently so. People were so obsessive over her body and it weirded her out. Were normal people like that?
come upstairs
i want to tell you something
Of course the first one to know had to be Sherlock. He was Jayden's closest friend since living in 221A, besides Mrs. Hudson. But she lived two floors down versus Sherlock's one. The closer the better in Jay's opinion. 
Plus their connection was much different than Jayden's and Mrs. Hudson's. Sherlock wouldn't scream and yell from the rooftops that she got this role but he would be happy for her and smile and hug the girl who would do all that screaming for herself. She was her own biggest fan, after all. Jayden learned how to be that for herself after moving away and realizing no one in her family would be. It was a bittersweet thing, one Jay wasn’t sure she would ever forget.
There was a knock on the door and immediately, Jayden opened it to a smiling Sherlock. He already knew but didn’t want to dampen the woman’s mood. “I was hired!” She yelled happily, taking the man’s hands and pulling him close, twirling him around in her apartment. 
That was certainly surprising. Sherlock predicted many ways the girl would react to getting an actual casting for a non-sexual film and this was not one of them. Though Jayden was always unpredictable and Sherlock could count on that yet it still surprised him.
"I have faith you'll do great." Sherlock smiled softly, eyes filled with happiness for the woman who held his hands tightly. 
He knew Jayden was waiting for this day to happen. Sure, she's been hired in some plays and small indie films but she was entering a franchise. Meaning, people would want to hire her just for that reason. She was a great actress in actuality but producers would want her simply because the fact she would be a face everyone recognized. Jayden would go from a nobody to a somebody everyone wanted for their film to be popular. 
Instantly a legend. Maybe that was a good thing so Jayden could widen her filmography and perhaps she could put some truly good films in the spotlight that otherwise wouldn't be.
Jay smiled back at Sherlock and squeezed his hands tightly. "We should celebrate, hm? You're in this as much as I am at this point, helping me read and such." She winked. 
There have been plenty of nights where Jayden asked the detective to her partner in scenes, it helped having someone act opposite of you. Even if that person was as cold as a block of ice when delivering lines.
"I'm not one for celebrations." Sherlock said bluntly but he was sure Jay knew that already. 
Christmas was an exception because it was annual that he threw a party at this point. But any other holiday or huge event wasn't Sherlock's go-to. John's wedding was even a little too much for him, not to mention how drunk he was after a few hours on their stag night. He was a big lightweight when it came to alcohol that he almost acted stupid when drunk, within about three or four drinks of course.
Jay chuckled softly, rolling her eyes. "I'm not talking about drinks and partying, Sher, I know you don't like that in the first place." She thought for a moment though, she needed to check out the clubs in London. Because there were many, she just didn't have many friends her age yet.
"I can try to make you dinner." Sherlock offered softly. Emphasis on try. 
Cooking was like chemistry except the detective had a much harder time with cooking than chemistry. His kitchen was filled with lab equipment instead of pots, pans, or even spices. The only kitchen utensils he did have were old, dented, and usually only had one of each thing.
Jayden cocked her eyebrow with a small smirk on her lips as he looked the man up and down for a moment. "Try?" She was silently judging, mostly the situation. 
Sherlock never cooked. Most of the food he ate was takeout, made by Mrs. Hudson, or something pre-made at the store. And from what Jay's heard from John, it always ends in disaster. It's been burned, on fire, executed wrong, or it's just a weird recipe. 
"How about we stick with some coffee and maybe Irish cream, huh?" Jayden laughed quietly, shaking her head.
Sherlock sighed in relief. "That would be nice." As much as he'd like to impress Jay with his nonexistent cooking skills, he would be a wreck trying to make sure it was perfect.
Much like Christmas.
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taglist open!
@thewinterpoet2
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Titanic (1997) - Some Things From My Rewatch Today
Not only is it now less than 24 hours before I go to the Titanic Exhibition in London, but today - April 15th 2022 - marks the 110th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. I’ve seen James Cameron’s film multiple times, starting when I was about 8 or 9 years old and my parents let me and my sister watch it (my sister was only about 5 or 6), too many times to count in fact, and I actually rewatched it at the beginning of last month too (after having not seen it for years). It’s an incredible film, obviously, although as a child I always thought the love story was “eww” (because I was a child, and when you’re a child love is indeed “ewww”) and thought the sinking scenes were interesting in a morbid way, although now that I’m older I also love the romance side of it.
Since last month, I’ve been fascinated by the Titanic and have been researching the disaster; just two weeks ago, I read the entirety of a book called “Titanic: Minute by Minute” by Jonathan Mayo, which I highly recommend as it’s a detailed account of the last day of the Titanic and the sinking, plus the aftermath and fates of the survivors. Because of this, when rewatching the film today I noticed more and more how much effort James Cameron put into the film, and while it’s very much a dramatisation, there’s still so many accurate things that I was impressed. So I decided to make some notes, and I’ve done some fact checking as I’ve copied the notes into this post too just to be sure I’ve gotten things correct. Not all of my notes are about any accuracies or inaccuracies of the film, I’ve also taken some notes about the character journeys (especially Rose), and I wanted to share my thoughts just in case anyone might be interested. This is an extremely long post, given that the film is over three hours long, which is why it’s under a read more, but I’ve tried not to ramble too much.
Also, in this post I use the original script of the movie and reference some deleted scenes, so heads up!
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So… let’s talk about Titanic (1997).
I used to think that the opening footage of the Titanic and people waving were real but it’s not, James Cameron recreated that moment and filmed it. I think that’s a testament to how well done the footage is that it looks real
Apparently the footage of the Titanic wreck that we see Brock Lovett looking at/filming is in fact footage of when James Cameron went down to the real Titanic wreck, and he found it very poignant
I love that the little camera thing that they send into the wreck is called “Snoop Dog”
Old Rose is seen doing pottery when she hears the report of the safe being found, and I like to think that this in part implies that since meeting Jack, she was inspired to take up artistic hobbies. She already had an interest in art before meeting Jack because she brought paintings by Monet and Picasso onto the ship, but I like to think that since Jack was an artist, it inspired her to do something artistic herself
Also, I read somewhere that Rose’s little dog is actually a reference to the dogs on the Titanic, and how 3 (very small) dogs were on the lifeboats and survived
Rose worked as an actress in the 20s - under the name “Rose Dawson”. Obviously at the end of the film she gives her name as “Rose Dawson” when arriving in America, but at the start of the film we don’t actually know the full story, so when we know that Jack’s last name is Dawson… you know. The fact that Bodine then goes onto say that she got married and changed her name to “Calvert” means that we as an audience already know from the start that she and Jack weren’t married - and also hints already that Jack didn’t survive because otherwise she wouldn’t have gotten married to someone else etc. don’t know if I’m making sense here but it’s almost like a spoiler from the start that Jack is going to die.
Also, small thing that can be gleaned about Rose’s life post-Titanic, her granddaughter is named Lizzie Calvert - which means she’s probably the daughter of Rose’s son since she has the same surname as the man Rose married (or if it’s Rose’s daughter, it could mean that Lizzie’s parents aren’t together/married). I know, it’s a small useless thing and doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, just something I noticed. Bodine also says Rose “punched out a couple of kids” which means she also had more than once child.
Following on from what I said above about Rose and Art, in a deleted scene before the first class dinner, when Jack and Rose are spending the day together, Rose actually discusses her dreams: “There's something in me, Jack. I feel it. I don't know what it is, whether I should be an artist, or, I don't know... a dancer. Like Isadora Duncan.... a wild pagan spirit... (seeing another passenger who has a big wooden movie camera) or a moving picture actress!” And in the script she then proceeds to pose in front of the passenger, with Jack, the passenger and the passenger’s wife joining in her fun
“Like that Russian girl, anaesthesia” - LMFAO. This is obviously a reference to “Anastasia Romanov”, and several women claiming falsely to have been her
“Wasn’t I a dish?” Never fails to make me smile to myself
When Lovett says that the Heart of the Ocean “must have gone down with the ship”, Rose looks to the left which is a sign of lying, which is a fun thing to notice in hindsight given that she knows the necklace isn’t on the shipwreck because she herself has it still but has been hiding it for 84 years
It’s the way she’s just sitting there like 😳😐🫤😑 as Bodine is narrating the reconstruction of the ship sinking (“she’s got her whole ass sticking up in the air!”)
I do love that older Rose has the same spitfire in her as younger her does; “Thank you for that fine forensic analysis, Mr. Bodine. Of course the experience of it was somewhat different”. “do you want to hear it or not, Mr Lovett?”
Obviously Titanic has its “main” characters, but the background characters are recurring and have their own mini-storylines that go on in the literal background and are actual characters too (eg. Cora sees Rose arrive, can be seen dancing with Jack, can be seen in bed waking up when the ship hits the iceberg, and in a deleted scene she and her family’s deaths are seen) (eg. The mother with the two Irish children)
Kate Winslet is so beautiful, oh my god. The shot of her exiting the cab and looking up from under her hat is so iconic and beautiful
“God himself could not sink this ship!” - AND I OOP-
Factually Inccorrect/Impossible: Cal, Rose, and Ruth are stated to be staying in the parlor suite B-52, 54, 56, as that is where Lovejoy says to bring their luggage. In real life, this was occupied by J. Bruce Ismay.
Factually Correct: third class having to have lice inspections (among others) before boarding whilst first class don’t. Third class passengers were obviously the poorer ones, and most of them were apparently immigrants going to America hoping to start a new life
BIG Factual Incorrectness That Wouldn’t Allow The Plot To Happen: Due to concerns about lice and such, Third-Class passengers were also not allowed in the First-Class section and vice-versa, so Jack dining in First Class and Rose partying in Third Class would both have been impossible. This is also one of the actual reasons for the infamous "locked gates" that prevented Third Class passengers from accessing the boats: the strict separation of classes meant that only Third Class had to go through the health inspection in New York. Third Class had their own deck space fore and aft, including both well decks.
Also, James Cameron can be seen in a cameo appearance here as a man having his beard checked by the way
"On the outside, I was everything a well-brought-up girl should be. On the inside, I was screaming." The scene then immediately cuts to a horn blaring loudly which is kind of funny, kind of just really fitting
Jack was so excited, “I’m going home!” 😭
I couldn’t help but laugh at him referring to himself as Fabrizio as “a couple of regular swells” (swells is a slang term for rich upper class men I think)
Factually Incorrect (but I’ll allow it): Tickets for the Titanic were not transferable. The prop tickets used for filming were faithful reproductions, and you can see it says they’re not transferable so really Jack and Fabrizio shouldn't have been able to board with Sven and Olaf's tickets. But then when James Moody allows them to board, he does only glance at the tickets anyway.
It’s so depressing watching this film, seeing 2200+ people all waving goodbye to their loved ones, everyone waving them off, and just knowing what’s about to happen
Factually Inccorrct: When Jack and Fabrizio are looking for their cabin, the Irish mother and Helga's family can be seen in the hallway. The third class cabins in the bow were for single men, while accommodations for single women and women with children were located in the stern. Families that included men were located amidships, separating the two groups. This arrangement dates back to the earliest days of ocean liners, with the theory being that the men travelling with their families would provide some buffer of protection to unaccompanied women.
Factually Correct: First class passengers did indeed have private promenade decks in their accommodations
I have no idea if the Monet and Picasso paintings Rose brought with her are real or if they’re prints, but for her sake I hope they’re just expensive prints because otherwise that means there’s a bunch of Monet and Picasso paintings on the bottom of the Atlantic
There’s a deleted scene with Cal, Rose and Trudy the maid here that on the one hand might have been nice as it shows that Rose is close to Trudy, but on the other Cal is a creep and it’s made obvious a bit too early just how much Rose despises him, to the point where you’d wonder how he didn’t notice it
Factually Correct: The Unsinkable Molly Brown (played in this film by Kathy Bates) was in fact an absolute legend and incredible woman who helped the ship’s evacuation, she (unsuccessfully) encouraged the crew in Lifeboat No. 6 to return to the debris field to look for survivors, and she then proceeded to organize a survivors' committee with other first-class survivors once on the RMS Carpathia which worked to secure basic necessities for the second- and third-class survivors, and even provided informal counseling. So yes, this woman was a real life boss ass lady and I love her, Kathy Bates was the perfect person to play her in this film.
It’s fun watching this film as a LOTR fan because I can’t stop thinking about how Captain Edward Smith is also King Theoden of Rohan (Bernard Hill is the actor of course)
Factually Correct: In the film, the front three funnels can be seen giving off smoke - the back fourth one does not. The back funnel was there for aesthetic purposes.
I’m just going to say it now and get it out of the way, Leonardo DiCaprio is hot in this film. Like he is so attractive it hurts.
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The Titanic’s journey started in Southampton, went to Cherbourg in France, then went to Queenstown (which has since been renamed Cobh and is in County Cork) in Ireland, and was finally supposed to go to New York in the USA. Obviously it didn’t make it to New York but that’s where it was supposed to go.
Factually Correct: Bruce Ismay, who was the White Star Line managing Director, and Thomas Andrews, who in the film they say built the Titanic, can be seen dining with the first class passengers, which is true. Captain Edwards is also seen dining with them, which again is true.
Factually Incorrect: Thomas Andrews is described as the designer of the ship, and depicted as blaming himself for its faults. In reality, Andrews was the shipwright - the actual designer was a man named Alexander Carlisle.
When Rose lights a cigarette and her mother says “you know I don’t like that, Rose”, Rose just blows smoke at her mother. Cal then takes the cigarette from her and stubs it out, saying “she knows” - first of all, Rose is definitely a spitfire. Secondly, the fact she can’t even have a smoke without being told off by her mother and fiancé is just one of many things that shows how trapped she is.
Following on from my above point, Cal then orders for her: “We'll both have the lamb. Rare, with a little mint sauce”, then once the waiter has moved away: “You like lamb, don’t you, sweet pea?” And she pulls a face at him. Woman can’t even order her own damn food for goodness sake! Molly even comments “you going to cut her meat for her too, Cal?” (I love Molly, she’s always in Rose and Jack’s corner and I love that)
After Bruce Ismay explains why the ship is called “Titanic” (“I wanted to convey sheer size. And size means stability, luxury... and safety”), Rose says “Do you know of Dr. Freud? His ideas about the male preoccupation with size might be of particular interest to you, Mr. Ismay.” And Molly is just grinning and nodding her head. I think you can also see Thomas Andrews trying not to laugh.
Also, Bruce Ismay has not in fact of heard of Freud it seems, as evidenced by him asking if that’s a passenger on the ship, which makes it even funnier
Molly asking “she’s a pistol, Cal, you sure you can handle her?” Is met by Cal responding “Well, I may have to start minding what she reads from now on”, looking rather tense even as he feigns unconcern, which is just… Urgh.
Factually Correct: There were indeed dogs and kennels on the ship, mostly owned by first class passengers. A crew member can be seen walking a group of dogs on the third class deck, which prompts Tommy (the Irish guy) to comment, “That's typical. First class dogs come down here to take a shite” and Jack jokes “That's so we know where we rank in the scheme of things”
Every time a character says the ship is unsinkable, “solid as a rock”, strong etc, I have to try not to go “oh noooo” because it’s very much feeling like they’re jinxing it 😭 betting Tommy Ryan wasn’t so keen to claim the ship was Irish when it was sinking-
The moment where Jack sees Rose for the first time is very sweet and beautiful, but I also just love the line, “forget it boyo, You'd as like have angels fly out o' yer arse as get next to the likes o' her” (because Irish, that’s why) and Fabrizio waving his hand in front of Jack’s face without getting any response
During this moment, Cal comes outside, and he and Rose have this interaction; you can’t hear what he’s saying but he’s talking to her and grabs her by the arm, and she pulls a face before walking away from him and he’s just looking around like “… 😶” I love that you can see the fire/defiance Rose has before meeting Jack that shows that they haven’t broken her yet
There’s a deleted scene that occurs between Rose being seen having dinner in her red dress (hair is up, perfectly composed, make up, staring straight ahead) and then the scene of her running towards the back of the ship with her hair down, make up ruined, her in tears; that deleted scene shows Rose going back to her room, taking her hair out, ripping her necklace off and being physically unable to get out of her dress, her calling for Trudy (her maid) to help her, and her realizing that she (a young woman) can’t even do something as simple as undress herself without any help, which leads to her being distraught. I know Fox made Cameron cut some scenes out because it’s a long film as it is, but that scene should have stayed in I think because it shows how she got herself into such a distraught state, and the anger/furiousness/self hatred she feels leading up to the moment where she’s ready to just throw herself into the ocean
Factually Correct: To my knowledge, the costumes are period accurate but I’m really just especially impressed by how accurate the White Star Line uniforms worn by the crew supposedly are, plus the props such as the silverware/plates are also the same as it would have been on the Titanic. I don’t know if that’s true or not but I’ve heard people say that, and I’ve also seen people saying that all of the rooms - the accommodations, dining rooms etc - are perfectly matched to the rooms of the Titanic.
I can’t get over Jack just throwing his cigarette in the ocean 😂
“I know what ice fishing is!” “Sorry. You just seen like, you know, kind of an indoor girl” - LMFAO
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There’s some clever foreshadowing/exposition in this scene where Jack is telling Rose about how cold the water is, which is obviously important later when the ship is sinking and people are in the water: “freezing, maybe a couple of degrees over” “a thousand knives all over your body” “you can’t breathe, you can’t think… least not about anything but the pain”. While obviously some people did drown when the ship sank, a lot of them froze to death in the water because it was so cold - this moment very early on drives home for the audience just how dangerously cold it is
As a child, I thought Rose genuinely didn’t know what the propellers were/the name for them, but now I’m starting to think she in fact DOES know, she’s just playing the part of the “silly simple woman” - which makes sense because she obviously didn’t want Cal or the other men to know that she was going to jump off of the ship, as evidenced by her pleading look to Jack to not tell them the truth. Rose is also very smart, so I doubt she doesn’t know what propellers are/that that’s what they’re called, and it would fit perfectly into her having to play the part of a dutiful daughter/wife in the class that she’s in.
“A twenty should do it” - BITCH?!? I love that he’s not only putting a going rate on saving his fiancée, but it’s only a twenty??? Man is loaded and he offering only a twenty??? He’s not even trying to pretend she means more to him than just an arranged marriage
Just before Cal gives her the necklace, he says “I know you've been melancholy, and I don't pretent to know why” - to be fair, at least he’s honest. It’s clear he doesn’t actually know her that well though, nor does he care to. She’s basically a possession to him.
He claims the necklace is a “reminder of my feelings for you”, but that’s not true at all. He makes no attempt to hide how expensive it is, that it comes from royalty, and we know from older!Rose speaking earlier that it was “a dreadfully heavy thing” - that, plus the way it sits made me think of a collar than anything else. There’s a deleted scene that happens right after this (it fades from this scene to older!Rose talking) where old!Rose even says, “Of course his gift was only to reflect light back onto himself, to illuminate the greatness that was Caledon Hockley. It was a cold stone... a heart of ice. After all these years, feel it closing around my throat like a dog collar. I can still feel its weight. If you could have felt it, not just seen it...”
A nice indication of the difference in wealth and class between Rose and Jack is that Rose has a lot of different outfits whilst Jack has very few: he’s seen wearing the same shirt as the night before when he and Rose are talking/him showing her his sketches, he then borrows a fancy suit from Molly for dinner in first class, and I’m pretty sure he’s still wearing the same shirt (the one from the suit) the next day/through the sinking of the ship. Everything he owns was on him the day he won the tickets for the Titanic, he’s a drifter and pretty much penniless. I don’t know, I just thought it was a nice indicative thing
It’s also interesting that Rose’s engagement ring is implied to be heavy, just like the Heart of the Ocean necklace: “god, look at that thing! You’d have gone straight to the bottom!”. Her wearing that heavy ring is another reminder of how constricting/uncomfortable she is in this engagement/her upcoming marriage.
Jack and Rose’s banter is really cute and I love it. I love that their relationship is shown developing even over such a short time and that they’re able to have fun with each other and banter
I do love that when Rose snatches his sketchbook away, Jack is so not bothered by it. He just lets her. He’s not once afraid that she’ll not return it, he’s not afraid she’ll ruin his work, he’s more than happy to let her look but he’s also not cocky or bragging about how good he is as an artist
Also I laughed at her closing the front cover of the sketchbook over when a man walked past so that he wouldn’t see the drawings of naked women 😂
Jack mentions a one-legged prostitute and there actually is a drawing of a one legged prostitute in his sketchbook, if you pause the film at the exact right frame before he turns the page over
There’s a drawing of a woman at a bar that Jack tells Rose about, a lady called “Madame Bijoux”, and this is actually based on a famous photograph from 1933 called “Bijou” which was taken by Brassaï.
Factually Incorrect: Bruce Ismay is portrayed as encouraging Captain Smith to push the ship to full speed so that they get to New York a day early. In reality, Ismay and the rest of the White Star executives knew they could never compete with Cunard's faster ships, and they wanted to focus on luxury and comfort. He also asks him why the last “four” boilers aren’t lit, however, at the British inquiry, Leading Fireman Frederick Barrett testified that the day before the disaster, eight of the boilers were unlit.
Factually… Not Sure: It’s mentioned that this is Captain Smith’s last voyage before retiring, and this is supposedly true, this was supposed to be his last voyage before retirement (although other sources have suggested he was going to continue being captain on Titanic until White Star Line Company “completed a larger and finer steamer”)
I love how Rose sees Jack spitting, goes “that’s disgusting”, and then proceeds to do it herself 😂
Molly gesturing to Jack to quickly wipe the spit of his chin is a nice touch, she’s shown to help him out quite a bit like giving him a suit etc
Factually Correct: They did indeed announce mealtimes with a bugle playing “The Roast Beef of Old England”, the bugler was actually called Percy Fletcher and he died during the sinking; if his body was recovered, it was never identified
So fun fact: the staircase of the real Titanic is, obviously, at the bottom of the Atlantic, but there are two other staircases that are similar - one is in the Vatican, and the other is actually in Loftus Hall in Ireland, and I’ve seen it firsthand because I went on a tour there as a teenager during one of my visits to Ireland (I have Irish grandparents too). According to one of the tour guides there (and this could be false), James Cameron asked the lady who owns Loftus Hall if he could buy the staircase to use in this film, offering her a lot of money, but she said no. Loftus Hall is also incredibly haunted so I recommend checking it out if you’re ever in that part of Ireland!
I like the small detail of Jack watching the first class passengers while he’s waiting for Rose and then imitating them to practice before dinner
Interesting to note that Cal and Ruth go to the dinner together, talking, leaving Rose to follow; this definitely adds into the idea of the engagement between Cal and Rose being more like a business transaction between two parties, with Rose having zero choice in the matter
By the way, there are a LOT of historical figures/real life people in the first class dinner scene: John Jacob Astor and his pregnant wife (the wife survived, he did not, and their son was named after him), Colonel Gracie, the Duff-Gordons (including Lady Duff-Gordon, the lingerie/fashion designer, Benjamin Guggenheim and his mistress (his wife and children are at home) etc.
Molly was 100% giving Ruth a Death Stare in the dinner scene when Ruth was trying to embarrass Jack/put him down in front of the others and I’m living for it
Jack just throwing a lighter at Cal when he sees Cal pulling out a cigarette is kind of funny, won’t lie
Factually Correct: During this scene, Molly Brown tells a story about her husband accidentally burning $300,000 that she had hidden in the stove. Apparently this was a real incident that happened?!?
Something I didn’t notice before is that as the men are leaving for cigars and brandy, Jack can be seen handing a pencil back to Molly, who discreetly puts it in her bag - that’s how Jack wrote the note he gives to Rose telling her to meet him by the clock, because Molly gave him the pencil. This woman is 100% rallying behind the two of them and I love it
Factually Correct: The third class party scene (the real party) has Irish music, a lot of Irish people, what looks like Guiness and is just in general very Irish. This is accurate because yes, there were a lot of Irish people making up the third class passengers, and as someone with Irish roots, let me tell you right now that you know it’s a real party when the Irish get involved - lots of drinking, dancing, etc. It’s also accurate that third class had their own dining areas and areas to spend time doing things like dancing and playing cards
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Okay but Jack dancing with Cora and “you’re still my best girl, Cora” is still adorable to this day
The smash cut contrast as it cuts from the roaring Irish party to the stiff first class in their smoking room is beautiful. The contrast is so striking because it goes from dancing/laughing/cheering/music to near silence.
Molly really wasn’t kidding when she said Rose was a pistol, she straight up glugged a pint of beer before taking the cigarette straight out of someone’s mouth and smoking it
As a child, I used to be so perplexed by everyone being like “WOAH JESUS CHRIST” when Rose went en pointe because at the time I thought she was just on her tiptoes and I was like “pfft I can do that”. Now, however, as an adult who has done ballet and loves watching ballet, seeing her go en pointe while NOT wearing pointe shoes makes me equally very uncomfortable and also impressed. The Irish woman in the back going “Jesus, Mary and Joseph” when Rose did that is a MOOD
So there’s that deleted scene i mentioned that takes place after the Irish party but before the next scene where they’re looking at the stars, singing the “Come Josephine” song and as they’re looking at the stars, they see a shooting star and he tells her, “My father used to say that whenever you saw one, it was a soul going to heaven”… which, you know… bear that in mind for later on…
“I had hoped you’d come to me last night” “my wife in practice if not yet by law” - EXCUSE ME WHAT (will refer back to this later)
Cal really flew off the handle just because Rose said “I'm not some foreman in your mills than you can command! I am your fiancee--“ 😬
Originally it was supposed to be Rose helping her mother put the corset on but it was switched around to Ruth tightening Rose’s corset, which honestly fits so much better. This scene is symbolic of how Rose is trapped in this life in first class, trapped in the engagement with Cal, of how uptight and suffocating it all is - despite being rich and having everything someone might ask for, she’s far from happy. This, coupled with her earlier desire to kill herself to escape, just goes to show how it’ll end up killing her one day because eventually it is going to get to the point where she’ll end her life just to escape. The fact that it’s her mother tightening the corset is especially important because it’s her mother who’s forcing her into a marriage she doesn’t want, her mother who is restraining her
Gotta love the irony of Ruth calling Rose selfish just because she doesn’t want to be forced into a loveless and probably abusive marriage when in fact it’s arguably Ruth being selfish because she’d rather marry her only child off to someone they don’t love than be poor or, as she puts it, work as a seamstress 🤦 I understand it’s a hopeless situation but still, it’s super shitty
“Of course it’s unfair, we’re women. Our choices are never easy” - Ruth is right here though. It’s 1912 and women were definitely not viewed the same as men
Factually Sort-Of Correct: the Sunday church/hymn service did in fact happen on Sunday 14th April 1912, and one of the songs they sang was in fact “Eternal Father” — a hymn about sailors suffering while at sea. The line the audience hears as the scene cuts is “Oh hear us when we cry to Thee, for those in peril on the sea”, which is a nice bit of foreshadowing in the film but also horrible irony in real life. However, the version being sung in the film wasn’t around until the 40s and also they’ve moved the verses around out of order, presumably so they could have that “those in peril on the sea” line there. Also, “Eternal Father, Strong to Save" was not used in the Sunday service for first class, but in a second class prayer service later in the day.
I do love how when Jack greets Thomas Andrews on the staircase, Andrews greets him back in a friendly way
Factually Correct: Captain Smith did in fact get multiple telegrams from other nearby ships warning the Titanic of icebergs, but these warnings were ignored. The people in the telegram room also only gave the captain messages that were seen as urgent, so the captain didn’t receive all of them. The people in the telegram room were also under a lot of duress trying to send out messages from passengers to their loved ones, so they got more and more annoyed by the warnings from other ships warning them of ice - they thought the messages were a nuisance and even at one point sent a message back to one ship to “shut up”.
Factually Correct: Despite the warnings, Captain Smith did in fact order the last boilers to be lit and for the ship to progress at 22 knots (full speed).
More foreshadowing/exposition, although this is a bit more obvious, in the scene where Andrews is talking about the lifeboats; he says that there’s not enough lifeboats on the ship, not even by half. Cal remarks that the lifeboats are a waste of space as it is because it’s “an unsinkable ship” Obviously this foreshadows how there wasn’t enough lifeboats for all the passengers, which led to the later panic less than 24 hours later when the ship was going down
Factually Correct: Andrews says that he requested to add more lifeboats but was overruled because it would make the deck look “too cluttered”. Obviously it’s true the ship didn’t have enough lifeboats, and the WSL company only put just enough lifeboats according to the regulations. Also, in the “unlikely” event of the ship sinking, it was thought that the lifeboats would be sent out, take the passengers to a nearby ship, then they’d return to get more passengers. Of course, the Titanic sank in under three hours and the nearest ship didn’t arrive for four hours.
Factually Correct: In the script, after the Smith ice warning moment, Officers Lightoller and Murdoch have a conversation about binoculars being missing - this is true. The lookouts were missing a pair of binoculars, which contributed to them not seeing the iceberg until it was too late
Jack and Rose’s conversation happens in an on deck gym and, yes, this was thing on the actual ship
I love that he calls her a brat before launching into telling her how much he likes her
One of my favourite moments is Rose saying “it’s not up to you to save me, Jack” and Jack saying “You’re right. Only you can do that”. Because it’s true; even though Rose says that Jack saved her in every way a person can be saved, she’s the one who made the decisions in the end - she was just inspired by him
In the background of the next scene in the dining area, you can hear Ruth discussing the wedding plans, and says that Rose chose “lavender” - I can’t remember where I heard this but apparently lavender is a colour of mourning, which is indicative of how Rose views her upcoming marriage to Cal as being akin to death almost, maybe even worse than death. Lavender is also, interestingly, similar to the colour of Rose’s dress from after the drawing scene, through the entire sinking, and up until the very end (I think it’s more lilac than lavender but whatever)
The important moment in this scene is of course Rose seeing the mother and daughter on the next table; the mother making the daughter sit up straight, making the little girl fold the napkin perfectly into her lap… it’s indicative of a never ending cycle of little girls being born, forced and trapped into this life where they have to be prim and proper, no control over their own lives, only to be married off and have their own daughters who will be forced into exactly the same thing. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, and this is what makes Rose change her mind ultimately; maybe I’m just overthinking but I do wonder if she’s thinking to herself that she doesn’t want any daughter of hers to be forced into that life like she was.
Jack sings the “Come Josephine” song to Rose during the flying scene, which is actually a callback to a deleted scene that would have occurred earlier in the film and shown the two of them singing it. In that scene, he also tells her a story about how shooting stars are people going to heaven, which is interesting later on… The song is also heard later on when Rose is on the makeshift raft and she’s singing it to herself
As Jack and Rose kiss, there’s a fade from the past to the present - the ship fades into the ghostly wreck at the bottom of the ocean, and there’s a moment where it looks like they’re kissing on a ghost ship, this ghostly couple caught in time
Jack in suspenders though 😭 I love men in suspenders
It’s around this point that Rose stops wearing the engagement ring which is a nice detail
The drawing is actually really important because it’s Rose taking charge and commissioning Jack to draw the portrait, her deciding how she’s going to appear (“I want you to draw me like one of your French girls, wearing this… wearing only this” “I don’t want another portrait of me looking like a porcelain doll”). It’s her taking charge of her own body and her sexuality, and that’s beautiful to me. And it’s also very important that Jack is a professional and a gentleman because he gets on with the drawing despite clearly being a little flustered by the sight of this woman he’s in love with naked, and he doesn’t take advantage of her while she’s in that vulnerable state of being fully nude. The fact that she’s comfortable enough and trusting him like this, and the way he doesn’t take advantage, is so beautifully done.
Also, I’m sure we all know this by now but the drawing of Rose was actually done by James Cameron
I also just love that this was one of the first scenes they shot and that Kate Winslet flashed Leonardo DiCaprio before filming in order to (sorry to use this phrase given the circumstances) break the ice so they’d be more comfortable with each other
Also, she was wearing the robe when she came out and he was clearly getting ready to draw while she was preparing herself, but I do wonder if he helped her loosen her corset because this is happening on the same day as the scene where her mother is shown tightening her corset, and we know from an earlier scene she couldn’t get out of it by herself
“Over on the bed- the couch!” - the funniest part about this line is that it wasn’t scripted, Leo genuinely flubbed that line 😭😂
Factually Correct: The captain and one of the officers (I think) have a conversation where it’s mentioned, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a flat sea” and “makes it harder to see the bergs” - this is one of the reasons the Titanic lookouts didn’t see the boat until it was too late. If there had been waves, the waves would have lapped up against the side of the iceberg - but there weren’t any. The water was remarkably flat and calm.
Before this, in a lot of scenes Rose’s hair is up or half up; from this point onwards, her hair is seen to be down, which could be symbolising how she’s more free and more herself with Jack
Rose flipping the bird at Lovejoy will ALWAYS remain iconic to me 😂
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The dress that Rose wears now - her “sinking dress” - is a lot looser and lighter than her previous outfits, and I’m presuming she’s not wearing the corset anymore, which again is indicative of how free she is now that she’s chosen Jack
The two lookouts, Fleet and Lee, have a conversation where Fleet claims he can “smell ice when it’s near”, which is tragically ironic for obvious reasons 😂 I’m not sure if this was a real conversation that was had but…
Rose leaving the drawing in the safe and writing “now you can keep us both locked in your safe” is so savage, oh my lord
Not Lovejoy perving on the drawing when Cal wasn’t looking 😭
I still find it so funny that of all the goddamn cabins and rooms on the ship, Rose and Jack decided to consummate their relationship in a car
Okay so speaking of the love scene, it’s a sweet little scene and it’s not distasteful. However…
I’ve seen some interesting debate over, strange as it sounds, the previous sexual experiences of Jack and Rose. I’ll talk about Rose in a second, but for Jack you’d think he’d have a lot of experience in that area because he’s well-travelled, seems more knowledgeable about that kind of topic, has drawings of naked women drawn from life, and he’s from a class that’s typically not as uptight about sex or relationships. Having said that, he makes it very clear here that - with at least the one legged prostitute - his love affair was just with her hands. Other than that, there’s no indication that he’s actually done anything with these women beyond using them as models for his sketches.
Moving onto Rose, the expectation would be of course that’s she’s totally inexperienced, expected to wait until marriage etc. but some people have pointed out that Cal makes a couple of remarks that could be indicating that he’s had his way with her (because to me it’s quite clear that Rose isn’t into him at all). For example, saying he was hoping she’d come to him the night before and the whole “wife in practice thing” - it wouldn’t be completely uncommon for couples who are engaged to have sex, especially if the engagement is a contracted agreement. There’s also a deleted scene where he makes a remark about how he’ll “still be the first between the sheets” that makes Rose and Trudy very uncomfortable. However, like I said, the fact that she’s not into him at all in addition to what I’ve mentioned above could instead mean that he’s trying to get her to sleep with him but she’s holding off.
^ Following on from the two above points (and this is my final point on it, I promise), it’s interesting that the expectation for these kinds of scenes is for the woman to be a shaking panting mess, but in the scene post-climax of their love making in the car, Jack is the one trembling and Rose is the one kissing his forehead/holding him. Now maybe it’s just “it was really good” or whatever (you know, the whole “it’s better with feelings/love” thing) but… yeah. It’s interesting that it kind of subverts the usual way it goes here. Again, it’s unimportant in the grand scheme of things, I just think it’s interesting that there’s discussions about this.
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Lots of eye witnesses said it was absolutely freezing on deck the night the Titanic sank, so it’s so funny to me that Rose is out on deck just before the collision in a short sleeved dress without a coat or anything
I am so sorry, but Fleet yelling “BUGGER ME” and “PICK UP YOU BASTARDS” ALWAYS sets me off
The scene with the crew trying to get the boat to turn around is so well done - you can really feel the desperation and also the sheer panic as they try to slow Titanic down and avoid a collision, which is accurate to what they must have been feeling at the time
No matter how many times I watch this movie, and also knowing the history, I still end up saying to myself “oh no please don’t hit, don’t hit, turn, turn, oh no it’s gonna hit, it’s going to hit!”, which is a testament to how well done it is I suppose
The noise that the ship makes as it scrapes along the bottom of the iceberg haunts my nightmares. Just the sound of the scraping metal sets me on edge to think about
Apparently, had the ship not attempted to turn and had in fact just hit the ice berg straight on, there’s a good chance it wouldn’t have sank; however, because Titanic scraped the side of the iceberg, it flooded more compartments than simply hitting head on would have done (approximately a 250ft section of the hull was damaged)
Factually Incorrect: About two minutes pass in the film between Frederick Fleet sighting the iceberg and the collision. In reality, the elapsed time was roughly forty seconds. In addition, Titanic scraped the iceberg for only seven seconds, whereas the collision lasts about a minute. Similarly Thomas Andrews is shown feeling the vibration of the iceberg collision while in his cabin and realizing that something is wrong. Reportedly, he didn't notice anything was wrong until Captain Smith sent for him. Andrews's cabin was on A Deck, where the impact was barely felt.
Factually Correct: On the bridge, they could hear the iceberg grinding along the side of the ship; in boiler room 6, fireman Frederick Barrett saw seawater explode through a split that opened up two feet above the floor. There was indeed a shudder as the ship hit the iceberg; many passengers and crew throughout the ship either felt or heard the impact. It’s also true that they hurriedly shut the firefight doors to the boiler rooms in an effort to contain any flooding, and anyone who didn’t manage to escape the rooms would have probably drowned while trapped inside there. There was also ice that fell onto the deck. It’s also accurate that some of the third class woke up to water in their rooms
Factually Incorrect: After the collision, Captain Smith orders full stop. In reality, he ordered half ahead while the damage inspection was carried out, then ordered full stop.
Factually Correct: At this point, the staff and crew were telling passengers “it’s under control”, “no emergency” and to go back to bed.
I do have to laugh at the master at arms looking at Jack’s drawings and going “I think they’re quite good, sir” and Cal snatching them off of him 😂
Leo DiCaprio’s “THIS IS HORSE SHIT” has lived in my mind rent-free for 16 years now and it’s staying in mind for life I’m sure
The ship is literally sinking and they’re like “now is the perfect time to arrest someone!” 🤡
Factually Incorrect: Andrews says that five of her compartments have been breached but it was, according to Mayo’s book, six. However, in fairness, the damage in Boiler Room 5 was quickly contained, and it was the damage to Boiler Room 6 that doomed the ship. But otherwise, yes, it’s correct that the Titanic was designed so that she’d stay afloat with four compartments flooded - too many compartments were flooded by the ship scraping the side.
“She can’t sink-” “She’s made of iron, sir, I assure you she can!” should not be as funny as it is to me. It’s just the way he’s like “she’s made of iron dude??? Wtf you think is gonna happen???” (And yep, iron does indeed sink - I know this because, if nothing else, when you donate blood in the UK, they do a test where they prick your finger and put a drop of your blood into a solution, and if it sinks then it’s good because it means the iron in your blood is at an acceptable level - if the blood floats, you’re in trouble because that means you don’t have enough iron)
Cal really smacked the shit out of Rose, and I would not be surprised if that wasn’t even the first time he’d hit her. He gives off that vibe of being an absolute scumbag (kudos to Billy Zane though, he played the character well since I fucking hated him)
Factually Correct: Once they knew the ship was sinking, the crew told passengers to dress warmly because it was cold outside, even just standing on the deck
The difference between them waking up/talking to the first class passengers and the third class passengers is so messed up: for first class they’re knocking on doors, “please put your life jacket on”, “dress warm”… and then for third class they’re just barging in and shouting “GET UP! LIFE JACKETS ON!”
Factually Correct: The Titanic sending out “CQD” messages via telegram. CQD is a distress call mean “COME QUICK DANGER”
Factually Correct: The noises from the funnel were extremely loud - much louder in real life than in the film, but obviously the film needs you to be able to hear dialogue so… yeah. Still very loud.
Another Factually Correct thing (sorry, we’re getting more of these now): In the film, Andrews comes out on deck and sees that it’s basically empty, so he asks “where are all the passengers?”, and a crew member replies that they’re all inside because it’s “too cold”. This is true, the passengers didn’t think it was serious and some were even saying things along the lines of “why would we leave this majestic ship to sit on a small little lifeboat in the cold for no reason”. A lot of them stayed indoors because they didn’t think it was serious. This is also shown again with Ruth telling one of the staff to turn the heater on in their rooms and “I’d like a cup of tea when I return” - because the ship was supposedly unsinkable, they didn’t take it seriously until later
Let me say it again: the ship is literally sinking and they’re like “hey, I know a good idea! Let me handcuff this man to a pipe!” 🤡
As I mentioned earlier, the nearest responding ship was the RMS Carpathia, a cargo ship, and they were four hours away - from the time it hit the iceberg to the time it disappeared, Titanic sank in two hours and forty minutes.
Factually Correct: Captain Smith tells the officers to load the lifeboats “women and children first” - this was taken in two different ways by the officers. Officer Lightoller interpreted this order as “women and children only” and so was loading lifeboats half full and denying any men around the chance to get on. Meanwhile, Officer Murdoch was loading the women and children nearby first, and then if there were no more nearby, he was loading men.
Factually Correct: Yes, the band were on deck playing music to try and keep the passengers calm. And it’s also true that the ship was starting to tilt as the front sank
Factually Incorrect: Third-Class passengers were not deliberately locked below decks by the crew during the sinking. Some stewards did make it difficult for passengers to leave steerage, since they didn't understand their orders, but at no point in the voyage were the doors locked. Stewards did block a number of stairways and doors, but this was intended to allow them to shepherd the Third Class passengers to the boat deck without them getting lost. This is apparently referenced in the scene where Jack and the others break down the locked gate, as the steward tells them to head for the main stairwell and they'll be able to find their way up from there. Overall, there was a serious lack of communications among the stewards overseeing Third Class that prevented many passengers from getting to the lifeboats.
Big Fact/Explanation here!: Let’s be honest here. One of the reasons so many people died comes down to the fact that the majority of the crew were NOT trained on how to evacuate passengers in an event like this, and this includes on how to load the lifeboats. That’s why lifeboats were lowered whilst barely full, and lowered at a terribly disorganised and inconsistent rate
Between Ruth asking “are the lifeboats seated according to class?” and Cal remarking it’s “not the better half” that will die, I would have cheered for both of them drowning
It’s only recently I’ve understood what exactly Cal meant when he said “I wish I’d kept that drawing, it’ll be worth more by morning” (artists’ work is worth much more when they’re dead), and I just want to say he is a DICK. An absolute fucking DICK.
“Where are you going? To him? Is that it? To be a whore to that gutter rat?” “I’d rather be his whore than your wife” - SHOTS FIRED BY ROSE DEWITT BUKATER/DAWSON
Also the fact that she makes him let go of her by doing a gloriously beautiful spit into his face is a nice callback to the fact Jack was teaching her how to properly spit
Thomas Andrews was being a real cool dude by telling Rose where to find Jack
Jack and Rose reuniting is sweet but also I was just sitting there like “the ship is literally sinking, can we do this romantic shit in a minute AFTER you’re not in a rapidly flooding room?!?”
Jack, literally chained to a pipe, watching Rose leave as the room rapidly floods: “… I’ll just wait here!” 😭😂
The fact that Jack was trusting Rose to use an axe to cut his handcuffs off… the fact he’s an artist and if she missed, he’d lose his hands - his literal livelihood could have been gone just like that 😭 thankfully she didn’t miss but still, he’s got more faith in her than I would
Apparently Kate actually did hit Leo with the fake axe though 😭
Jack going “oh SHIT, this is cold, OH SHIT” was literally just Leonardo DiCaprio reacting to the water I’m sure 😭😭😭
Factually Correct: The crew really did have to push and threaten the passengers back because they were swarming the lifeboats and literally trying to jump into them. During the actual sinking, there’s an account of one man landing on a woman as he jumped into the boat and nearly crushing her. The crew were also basically throwing women and children onto the boats to forcefully separate them from their husbands/fathers. It’s also real that the crew were setting off the distress rockets in the hope of signalling for help.
Factually Correct but also maybe a Little Incorrect(?): It’s true that Bruce Ismay got onto a lifeboat and survived, and afterwards he was publicly blasted and shamed for saving his own skin. However, he testified that he was encouraged by the officer loading the boats to get on, which isn’t shown here.
Even though this is a dramatisation, it’s so sad to know that families really were separated, boys as young as 12 weren’t allowed on because of the “women and children” rule (because teenage boys were being classed as “men” during the sinking), and a lot of the men saying goodbye to their wives and kids were never seen again
Factually Correct: Just a quick note to say that Guggenheim is shown dressed in his best and saying he’s going to go down with the ship as a gentleman. This did in fact happen.
It’s the way that Jack was thinking about how he was going to die with the other men on the ship, he knew Cal wasn’t going to offer him help getting a place on a lifeboat, but he was just glad that Rose was safe 😭
That moment where Rose is looking up at Jack from the lifeboat and the rocket goes off behind him is literally CINEMATIC CINEMA 👌🏻 it’s an incredibly beautiful shot, Jack with the rocket light behind him, I cannot get over how beautiful it looks, and the fact it was an accidental shot??? 😭👌🏻
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Okay but the scene where Rose jumps out of the lifeboat back onto the ship, and then her and Jack run to meet each other by the staircase is one of my favourite scenes 😭❤️ literally crying every time I see it
Jack doesn’t often show fear or terror in the film, even when it’s obvious he’s scared, and that’s because he’s most likely attempting to hold it together for Rose - but when she jumps off the lifeboat and he’s running looking for her, it’s one of those moments where you can see the terror and worry on his face
It’s so sweet how he’s going “you’re so stupid, Rose!” in a hoarse voice whilst also kissing her and holding her, like it’s obvious he’s shocked and doesn’t actually think she’s stupid, not in the way Cal does, but more like “why would you do that??? I love you but why????”
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I’m sorry, I laughed out loud at Cal slipping on the debris from where one of his bullets hit the pillar at the bottom of the stairs
This film really shows how fast the water was rising up. I don’t even have anything else to say about that, it’s very fast
“I put the diamond in the coat… I PUT THE COAT ON HER!” - the way I laugh thinking about this line is literally unholy, oh my god 😂 it’s just the way he starts off with a pleasant and calm voice, only to start yelling on the verge of a breakdown
Fun fact, there was a deleted scene here where Cal sent Lovejoy after them, and he and Jack had a fight in one of the dining rooms, and it shows how Lovejoy ended up so bloodied and beaten up before we see him later just as the ship splits in half. That scene also showed how quickly the water was rising because at the start there’s not that much, but by the end it’s around their knees I think
Factually… Controversial?: Ah yes. The Murdoch controversy. For those unaware, James Cameron caused a bit of a controversy by showing First Officer Murdoch shooting and killing passengers trying to get on the lifeboats before shooting himself in the head out of guilt; Murdoch’s nephew was furious and accused Cameron/20th Century Fox of tarnishing his uncle’s legacy. According to Mayo’s book, there are witness accounts claiming an officer (who is not named) accidentally shot and killed people trying to swarm the lifeboats, and they then turned the gun on himself. James Cameron has since said in the film commentary and also interviews that it wasn’t his intention at all, saying his depiction of Murdoch is that of an "honorable man," not of a man "gone bad" or of a "cowardly murderer." He added, "I'm not sure you'd find that same sense of responsibility and total devotion to duty today. This guy had half of his lifeboats launched before his counterpart on the port side had even launched one. That says something about character and heroism." He has also said that he probably shouldn’t have shown this as a specific officer as there’s no confirmation as to which officer did this. Fox vice-president Scott Neeson also went to Dalbeattie, Scotland, where Murdoch lived, to deliver a personal apology, and also presented a £5000 donation to Dalbeattie High School to boost the school's William Murdoch Memorial Prize.
Coming off my last point, I used to think Murdoch was bad as a child but now while watching the film all I felt was pity because it’s obvious that the officers were all under a lot of pressure - the ship was literally going down fast, and the passengers were pushing and trampling each other in order to survive. In the film, it’s shown to be an accident too, that he didn’t actually want to shoot. I understand why his family would have been furious about it, but I don’t think the intention was to portray him as a bad man.
The scene with the band playing “Nearer My God To Thee” is so heartbreaking - beautiful but heartbreaking - from the beginning of the song to when Wallace Hartley (the violinist leading the band) says “Gentlemen, it’s been a privilege playing with you tonight”. There’s the elderly couple in bed (which I talk about more down below because they’re in fact a real couple who were on the Titanic), the mother putting her children to sleep knowing that all three of them are going to die, the people screaming and scrambling to survive…
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Factually Correct: The band did in fact play music on deck, and survivors reported hearing them play “Nearer My God To Thee”.
Factually Correct: During this scene, an elderly couple is shown spooning in bed as water rushes in around them, and it’s clear they die together. This couple is actually Isidor and Ida Straus; Isidor was the former owner of R.H. Macy and Company, and Ida was his wife. In a deleted scene from the film, Ida is offered a place in a lifeboat, but refuses, saying that she will honor her wedding pledge by staying with Isidor. This in fact happened in real life: when offered a place on the lifeboat, she refused to get on without her husband. Although the officer in charge of the lifeboat was willing to allow Isidor to board with his wife and their maid, he refused to go while there were women and children still remaining on the ship. He again urged his wife to board, but she refused, saying, "We have lived together for many years. Where you go, I go." Her words were witnessed by those already in Lifeboat No. 8 as well as many others who were on the boat deck at the time. However, the last time they were seen, they were actually in deck chairs
Factually Ambiguous: In the film, just after the scene “Nearer My God To Thee” moment, Captain Smith is seen retreating into the wheelhouse on the bridge as the ship sinks, dying when the windows implode from the water whilst he clings to the ship's wheel. However, there are conflicting accounts as to whether he died in this manner or if he in fact later froze to death in the water near the capsized collapsible lifeboat "B". The captain going down the ship is also a maritime tradition I believe, so it works better cinematically and shows him as a better person, I suppose, than him freezing to death whilst swimming for help.
In the background of some shots, you can see the crew and passengers throwing things like chairs overboard - this really happened, and it was so that those in the water had things to grab onto
The moment where the glass dome of the Grand Staircase implodes is not only so gut-wrenchingly upsetting to watch, it’s actually brilliantly and cinematically well-done/shown in the film. There’s something about the way it shatters and water pours in, people swept away by it, that’s so chilling.
Factually Correct: John Jacob Astor IV is last seen as the Grand Staircase glass dome implodes and water surges in. He did in fact die and his body was recovered; his body was identified by the initials sewn on the label of his jacket. It’s thought, however, that he was killed by the first funnel collapsing and not on the staircase
It’s so depressing watching people jumping off the boat and into the water because the fact is that between the water being freezing and some of the heights of the jumps, most of them probably died instantly. There’s no telling if people knew that then, but if they did then it’s sad that for them they viewed it as a preferable death to the horror of being on the sinking ship as it groaned and buckled like it did
The sinking in general is well done in the film, it’s genuinely terrifying and horrific: people jumping off the boat, people trampling each other, desperation to survive, people drowning and freezing to death, the actual noises coming from the ship as it implodes/breaks/floods…
To lighten the mood, I nearly died laughing at the random dude slowly walking as he says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...” and Jack behind him just going, “You wanna walk a little faster through that valley there?!?”
Factually Correct: Okay, we NEED to talk about the chef who is seen to be one of the last people off the ship, sipping from a flask up until the very end, and in a deleted scene getting absolutely pissed as a skunk, because this man is an actual LEGEND. His name was Chief Baker Charles Joughin, and he did in fact survive the Titanic sinking; he testified that he rode the ship down LIKE AN ELEVATOR and then stepped into the water without even getting his hair wet before paddling and treading water for about two hours until his upper half was pulled up onto collapsible lifeboat B, his legs and feet still in the water, and he stayed there until being rescued by the RMS Carpathia. He also admitted to hardly feeling the cold, and this is most likely thanks to alcohol - he was so full of alcohol that they think it stopped him from feeling the cold when in the water. Literally the only ill effect he suffered was swollen feet. I cannot get over this man, he’s an absolute legend.
Factually Correct: A priest is seen giving a sermon just before the ship splits. This is Father Byles, a second class passenger, who was a Catholic priest from England, and he really did pray and console the passengers in those final moments
The mother telling her child that it’ll “all be over soon” is genuinely one of the most upsetting things I’ve ever seen or heard. Like it’s so upsetting and makes me cry 😭
“Jack, this is where we first me” - I’m so sorry but my sister was in the room during this line and I just said to her “yep, and this is where we’re gonna fucking die, Rose!” 😭
Also Jack’s expression is also sort of “WTF Rose”, which makes sense because Kate Winslet ad-libbed that line apparently and Leo was like “da fuck???”
But being serious, when Rose said that, Jack kissed the top of her head and rested his chin on her head, and you can see the fear on his face 😭 he lets his fear show when she’s not looking, and his fear is mostly for her and what might happen to her
It’s also cinematically symbolic and interesting that the stern - the final part to go down - is not only where Jack and Rose first met, it’s also where Rose was about to end her life before meeting Jack, and now it’s where the two of them are there trying to stay alive. Just… very interesting I think.
The people falling off of the stern while it was vertical would have DEFINITELY been killed the second they hit the water, let’s be honest. There was also a guy who hit the propellers when he fell down, and there’s literally zero chance he survived.
Factually Correct: A moment of respect for the engineers in the engine rooms who stayed there and worked their asses off until the very last second to keep the engines running so that the ship could have lights on and the distress calls could be sent out. They would have been killed when the ship split in two.
Factual Nit Pick Here: When the lights on the Titanic went out, it was quite literally pitch black. The people on the ship didn’t know what was happening anymore, they couldn’t even see the water rushing towards them, and those in the lifeboats couldn’t see anything at all. In the film, it’s not exactly pitch black. Obviously, because this is a movie, we the audience need to be able to see what’s happening, but I want to be clear that in real life it was so dark that once the lights on the ship went out, no one could see a single thing. Also, later on, Fifth Officer Lowe and Lifeboat 14 are shown with flashlights - they did not have flashlights. Apparently, Cameron knew this, but kept it in order to provide lighting.
^ Because of this above point, this is where witness/survivor accounts start to differ a little because no one could actually really see anything
The ship splitting down the middle is another thing that haunted me as a kid and still haunts me even now. The sound it makes as it splits is literally awful, and for a ship of that size and strength to split like that, it would have taken a LOT of pressure/water. Anyone near the middle of the ship would have most likely died immediately.
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Factual… IDK???: There’s differing accounts of how exactly the ship split and sank, and there’s different theories. Because of how dark it was, and also because it’s thought that some more of the ship broke hitting the bottom of the Atlantic, it’s basically impossible to say exactly how the split and final plunge happened. Maybe I’m just not doing enough research but I do know there’s various theories about it, and it’s hard to pin the exact right one because of how dark it was
The people who were in the water towards the back of the ship would have absolutely been killed when the ship split in two and the stern crashed back down, let that sink in for a second… that’s a horrible way to go
Just hearing the people screaming and crying as they go down is so terrifying???
See, I can’t even bring myself to be mad about the man who nearly drowned Rose by trying to use her to stay afloat because these people would have been desperate, and desperate/scared people do things they wouldn’t usually.
I’m Not Even Going To Bother Fact Checking This One, Just Let Me Rant: I have NO idea what the official scientist conclusion on the infamous “Could Rose and Jack have both fit on the door?” debate is, but could they not have at least taken turns??? 😭🤦 I’m sorry, I know that these two characters weren’t real but for goodness sake?!?
^ Look, I know that Jack is absolutely the type who’d have said no to taking turns because his goal wasn’t saving himself, it was making sure Rose survived, but I’m just MAD about it
Factually Correct: Molly Brown, as mentioned above, did in fact try to convince Officer Hitchens in Lifeboat 6 to go back for survivors but was overruled and told to shut up. Only two of the twenty lifeboats went searching for survivors, and they waited too long before doing it
One thing I only noticed today was Ruth covering her ears to stop herself from hearing the screams… Jesus Christ.
Here’s the thing I want to make clear here: most of the people in the water were wearing life belts. They were not drowning. The reason these people died is just because of the cold - it is so cold that they died in minutes. One survivor said that the worst thing wasn’t even hearing people screaming - it was when people stopped screaming and it turned quiet. Another survivor lived close to a baseball arena and said that it was difficult for them because the screams of fans reminded them of the screams of the dying people in the water after the sinking.
“I don't know about you, but I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all this” - even when he’s literally dying, Jack is still managing to make jokes 😭
Jack really foreshadows the ending by telling Rose, “You're going to get out of this... you're going to go on and you're going to make babies and watch them grow and you're going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not this night. Do you understand me?”
“Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you. And I'm thankful, Rose. I'm thankful.” - If you hear me sobbing, no you don’t 😭
Shoutout to Fifth Officer Lowe for being the only officer on a lifeboat (Lifeboat 14) to go back for survivors, he’s the real MVP here even if he did wait too long
There’s a shot of a woman and baby dead in the ocean and I feel sick every time I see that shot or think about it. Don’t get me wrong, seeing the entire literal SEA of dead bodies in the ocean is really upsetting but the baby especially just hits really hard
While Rose is lying on her back, singing the Josephine song, she’s looking at the stars and there’s a shot of a shooting star; I already mentioned the deleted scene previously where Jack tells her that shooting stars are people going to heaven, and I wonder if this is the moment Jack died
When I was younger, I was always baffled that Rose loved Jack as much as she did only to let go of him and not die with him (because younger me was like “love is dying together” because I’m dumb), but now that I’m older I see this as Rose living for Jack; she promised him she would do all of these things, he made her promise that she’d die as an old lady, and that’s why she keeps going - because she’s doing it for him.
I still cringe at the sound of her forcing Jack’s hands off her own - obviously his hands are frozen as well as the fact dead bodies do get stiff anyway, but it’s so grim to think about
Let’s talk numbers here, using older!Rose’s narration/dialogue: “Fifteen hundred (1500) people went into the sea when Titanic sank from under us. There were twenty boats floating nearby and only one came back. One. Six were saved from the water, myself included. Six out of fifteen hundred.” If you want to do the maths, that’s 0.4% of people who went into the water who survived. That’s absolutely disturbing to think about.
Factually Incorrect: While what Rose says is heartbreaking, it’s false. She says only one lifeboat came back, whereas in reality, two lifeboats returned. The first was lifeboat 4, who rescued 8 crew members from the water, 2 of them died inside the lifeboat. Much later, lifeboat 14 returned, having wasted a lot of time transferring passengers into other lifeboats in order to make room. They rescued 3 or 4 passengers, one of whom died in the lifeboat. She also said that there were only six people out of fifteen hundred left on board who were rescued from the water when it was actually about forty. This can be justified by her only knowing of six.
Factual Check: There were 2222 people on Titanic, including the crew; it’s estimated that 1517 of those people died, leaving about 705 people alive. 68% of people on the ship died, leaving 32% who survived; most of the deaths were third-class passengers, especially third class men. It’s thought that at least 53.4% of the people on the ship could have survived, had the lifeboats been loaded properly (these numbers are approximate, I apologise for any incorrect information)
In the scene showing the various lifeboats waiting to be rescued as morning dawns, you can see someone passing Cal a flask that he drinks out. Just a neat detail, I think.
Seeing the survivors trying to track down their loved ones, hoping that they made it off the boat, is… very saddening and depressing. Not knowing whether your loved ones are alive or dead in a situation like this must be one of the worst feelings, I imagine.
Here’s the thing: it’s not like Ruth or Cal didn’t know that Jack’s surname was Dawson, which is obviously the surname Rose gave when arriving in America. This means Ruth and Cal never actually bothered to look under the surname “Dawson” to see if Jack himself was still alive, because otherwise they’d have see Rose’s name under “Dawson” and probably put two and two together - which seems strange to me because you’d think they’d know “hey, maybe she’s with him” or something. If nothing else, it shows how little they thought of Jack that they didn’t even bother to see if he’d survived
I’m sorry, you just gotta love how old!Rose threw a necklace worth billions of dollars into the middle of the fucking sea 😂 and the noise she makes throwing it in, like a small little “uhh!” It makes sense though - it’s like it belongs at the bottom of the ocean with the ship, and her throwing it - this “heavy thing” - into the ocean is also symbolic of how it must feel to finally talk about what happened, to talk about Jack, after keeping it to herself for 84 years.
Originally the scene was different because Brock Lovett, Lizzy, Bodine etc. were all there (it’s a deleted scene, easily found on YouTube like the rest of them), where they try to stop her, Lovett gets to hold the diamond, and Rose tells him, “You look for treasures in the wrong place, Mr. Lovett. Only life is priceless, and making each day count” before she throws it in, Brock goes through about ten different emotions before smiling and accepting it… but I like the actual scene better. It just feels more right for the film and less cheesey I think.
Everyone and their mother knows this, but I love seeing Rose’s pictures showing her doing everything she and Jack said they were going to do 😭❤️
There’s some debate about whether or not Rose is merely sleeping and dreaming, or if she’s in fact dead - even the script is ambiguous about it: “We PAN OFF the last picture to Rose herself, warm in her bunk. A profile shot. She is very still. She could be sleeping, or maybe something else.” It’s open to personal interpretation, but I personally do think that Rose died just because of the whole “you’re going to die an old, old lady, warm in her bed”, which is literally what the script says is happening here, and it makes it all the more poignant that she’s finally told the story of what happened on Titanic, she’s finally spoken about it and about Jack after 84 years, and now it’s her time to move on.
I love the way it shifts from the ship remains to how it used to look in 1912, to how big and beautiful and wondrous it was.
Literally all of the people who died are there as she goes up the stairs: Cora and her family, Fabrizio and the girl he was dancing with, Tommy Ryan, the crew/staff, Thomas Andrews… again, I think it’s another sign she died in her sleep and this is her joining all of them.
The clock on the stairs is at 2:20 - the time the Titanic took her final plunge and sank.
I only recently became aware of this, but as Jack and Rose kiss and the camera pans up, you can see Captain Smith in the background and he’s the very last person to start clapping, which I suppose goes back to the whole tradition of the captain being the last one to leave the ship or whatever? Idk, I just thought it was interesting!
And yep, that’s me crying over the end scene yet again!
And… here we are. I don’t have a lot else to add other than I do love this movie, and even if it’s not 100% accurate to the Titanic ship or the sinking, it’s still a brilliant film!
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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years
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Summary: Steve thinks you’re too young to like him despite the obvious hints you’re dropping.
Warnings: unspecified age gap
Word count: 2246
a/n: I’ve clearly spent too much time on TikTok recently, but inspired me to write something so that's good. It was loosely based on a request for a young reader x Steve, but I forgot part of the request so I'm gonna write something else for that one! Also, I wrote this on my phone so please excuse any typos I missed when trying to edit it lol
Masterlist
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Messing with Steve is one of your favorite things to do. Tiny pranks, over the top flirting, poking fun at his lack of understanding of technology. Anything you can do to get him to roll his eyes and chuckle.
Nat would say it’s because of your feelings for him. She would be correct. Not that you’d ever admit that to anyone. Nope. So instead, you have your fun, and enjoy the way his eyes crinkle and his cheeks redden.
Your newest method of hearing the sweet sound of Steve’s laugh? TikTok. It’s a double whammy. One because he doesn’t understand the app and two because a lot of the trends make him blush.
It started as a fun way to blow off steam. Sometimes, being one of the younger and newer team members made you feel like an outsider. Of course, Peter was younger than you, but he had his own friends outside of the team. You didn’t have anyone else. When Tony found you and invited you to join, it was you against the world. Now you have this makeshift family.
Having your account on TikTok helped you when you hadn’t really become a part of the group yet. You bonded with Peter because of his account, and you found a new way to make Steve blush.
Anyway, you’ve learned way more TikTok dances than you ever would have thought just to see his pink cheeks. It’s not even always over the top dances that have him chuckling. The last trend you did had him laughing the entire day. It was that sound about Wednesday Adams having one thing on her mind. Only when it said homicide, instead of a deadpan expression you panned the camera to show Bucky and Sam arguing over who got the last donut.
Of course, you knew when you made the video it would appeal to Steve’s sense of humor. Sam and Bucky feature in a lot of your videos for that exact reason.
In general, you make a lot of videos featuring the Avengers just to keep Tony happy. He likes to be the center of attention, plus the only way he would approve of your account was if it could also feature as PR for the team. You agreed, as long as you had final say over what you posted. There’s nothing scripted or designed for a specific reason, you just feature the team sometimes.
Like when that sound from the Big Bang theory was popular amongst Avengers fans, you made a video confessing to Pepper that you’d been thinking about the Avengers, panning to show the team during training.
Of course, the text on the screen said “you are an Avenger” instead of “I believe that”, allowing you to play off the joke. But still, it was fun to include the team.
One of your favorite videos features none other than Scott Lang, mostly because nobody else would do it. Scott thought it was hilarious though.
Using the sound from New Girl, Scott played Schmidt and you Jess. The text on the screen read as follows:
Scott: You just walk around all day thinking about America’s Ass?
You: Yeah, don’t you?
Scott: No! How do you get anything done?
You: It’s hard…
Steve blushed like crazy when everyone cornered him to watch it. Bucky, Sam, and Tony wouldn’t stop bringing it up for at least a month. A part of you hoped he might make a move after that video, seeing as you put yourself out there, but he just assumed it was a joke and laughed it off.
Honestly, you were running out of trends that you could use to get him to understand your feelings. You only had two ideas left, and one of them would be mortifying if it didn’t work out…
-
“Steve. You’ve got to be kidding me.” Bucky sighed, exasperated with Steve for the umpteenth time that month. “You’ve been pining for forever, just make a move!” he whisper yelled, doing his best not to throttle his lifelong friend.
Steve rolled his eyes, purposefully ignoring Bucky’s pointed glare. The two men had spent the last hour looking through your TikTok account. Bucky was adamant that you liked Steve, but the blonde didn’t believe it, despite the so called proof Bucky kept forcing him to watch.
“Buck, would you please just back off? We’re friends. She’s too young to want to be with me like that.” Steve blushed, thinking about the context of his words.
Before Bucky could say anything about how repressing his feelings is bad for him, a new video popped up on your account. Bucky smirked when he saw the thumbnail was once again a picture of Steve, this time with a beard. Steve took the silence as an opportunity to escape, walking into his closet to change.
The video opened with a video of you and Natasha just hanging out, you lip syncing to the words “I like you have a cupcake.” You repeated the words as the video cut to you and Tony.
Bucky nearly dropped the phone when “smack my ass like a drum” blared from the speaker. He cackled bending over in a fit of laughter when he realized that’s what Steve’s picture was used for- and one where he had a beard to boot.
“What is it now, jerk?” Steve emerged from his closet, having changed into loungewear. The sight of Bucky fully cackling had him nervous.
Bucky tossed him the phone, doing his best to stop laughing long enough to tell him to watch the most recent video. With a hesitant sigh, Steve obliged.
Again, Bucky rolled his eyes at how obvious Steve’s feelings were. The second he saw you on the screen, he smiled. And not one of those half hearted polite smiles, a full on happy smile.
Steve’s eyes widened, nearly bulging out of his head when he got to the end of the video.
“‘She doesn’t want to be with me like that.’” Bucky mocked his friends earlier words, grabbing his phone back. “Punk, I don’t know how much more obvious she could be.”
With one more glare in Steve’s direction, Bucky finally left him to his own thoughts. Okay, so you made a lot of videos about how you find him attractive. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’d want to be in a relationship with him. Leave it to Steve to talk himself out of everything Bucky had spent so long trying to convince him of.
-
You were desperate at this point. You honestly thought the cupcake one would send him over the edge, but it didn’t work either. It has been three days, and you know Steve’s seen the video because everyone likes to tease him about it.
“Naaaaaat, it’s not working,” you whined, dramatically throwing yourself onto her bed. She laughed at your antics, briefly looking up at you before deciding to stop what she was going and give you her full attention.
“Look, not only is Steve one of the most clueless people I’ve ever met when it comes to women, but he can also talk himself out of believing someone’s interested in him. Especially you.” Nat watched as you lifted your head from her comforter, slowly turning to stare at her with narrowed eyes.
“Especially me?” you questioned. Why would you have a different standard?
“Y/N, Steve’s from the 40s. He’s super old fashioned. You're a hot young thing, super up to date on modern trends. He thinks you're just messing around as friends because he doesn’t believe someone as young as you would be interested in actually having a relationship with him,” she spelt it out for you, sick of trying to get you to figure it out on your own.
You took a minute to fully understand what she was saying, but then sat up when a new idea struck. “So you’re saying I need to be more direct?”
Her eyes narrowed, but she nodded nonetheless.
“I’ve got an idea. Thanks Nat!” you ran from the room before she could question your newest plan, instead checking to make sure her notifications were on for posts from your TikTok account.
-
“Steve!” you shouted when you saw him down the hall, about to turn a corner. He immediately stopped, turning back to see you running at him. “I need your help!”
You pulled him into the gym, briefly glancing around the room to make sure it was empty. Confirming nobody else was present, you set up your phone on one of the weight racks to record the two of you. It was already open to the recording section of TikTok, the sound you needed queued and ready to begin.
“What’s going on?” Steve looked between you and the phone, nerves heightening as he realized what you were doing. All of your videos about him thus far hasn’t actually involved him filming anything.
“I just need you to react to this trend, okay? It’s kind of old, but that doesn’t really matter,” you spoke quickly, trying to start the video before he could decline.
The music started playing instantly, with Steve awkwardly looking between the screen and you. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was reacting to, and it had him on edge. Just as the song reached the chorus, you turned and grabbed his face. Throwing caution to the wind, you followed through with your plan before you could back out, kissing him with all the passion and emotion you’d been holding back.
Steve froze, clearly surprised by your actions. Before you could pull away, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you closer. He kissed you with equal passion and emotion, no longer paying attention to your phone recording the moment.
Neither of you noticed when the music cut off, too wrapped up in each other. When the need for air overpowered the desire to keep kissing him, you pulled back to gasp in a few breaths. Steve leaned his forehead against yours, eyes closed and breathing erratic.
The two do you spent the next few moments just breathing, trying to come to terms with what just happened. You gasped when his hands moved, one resting on your waist and the other cupping your cheek. His eyes were still closed when you chanced a glance at him.
“What was the trend?” he breathily whispered the words, still coming down from the high of kissing you.
“Huh?” you mumbled, unable to comprehend the question when he was still touching you like this.
“The TikTok trend? What was it?” his grip on your hip tightened, but his hand framing your face remained gentle.
“Oh, uh, it was- it was kissing your best friend/crush.” You whispered, heart still racing from his proximity. Your nerves had never been greater. Yeah, Nat always tells you that Steve has feelings for you, but what if he was just being polite? Maybe he didn’t know how to reject you when you kissed him out of nowhere, and now he’s trying to find a way to turn you down gently. What if-
“Was my reaction good enough to post?” he broke your train of thought with another question. You took a minute to think about the question, your brain still moving like molasses
“Um, that depends…” you froze when his eyes opened and stared into yours.
“On?” he prompted you to continue.
“Which caption I can use.” you finished the thought, finally remembering the two most common outcomes of the trend.
“What are the choices?” Steve smirked when you looked flustered, clearly not expecting this conversation.
“Uh, the two-” he began rubbing small circles into your hip with his thumb, effectively cutting off your train of thought again. It wasn’t until he lightly squeezed your hip again that you remember you were answering his question.
“Right! The two most common captions are some variation of ‘this was so awkward’ or ‘we’re dating now’,” you managed to blurt out the choices, blushing when he smiled at you.
“Well, I know which I prefer…” you waited with bated breath as he prolonged the silence, enjoying seeing you so on edge. You nearly whined when he let you go, moving to pick up your phone from the weight rack.
You watched in silence as he typed out a caption, tapping each letter with his pointer finger. A small smile formed on your lips at his adorable old man behavior. He then managed to find the post button, adding the video to your account before handing you the phone to see what he chose.
Your smile only grew after you read the caption, dropping the phone and immediately kissing him again.
-
Meanwhile, Nat had gathered the rest of the team that happened to be around to wait for whatever video you had planned to be posted.
Tony, Sam, Bucky, Wanda, Vision, Peter, and Clint all watched as the new video popped up on the screen. Peter bounced with excitement when he heard the song, instantly recognizing the trend. The rest of the group watched as you kissed Steve, mouths gaping open when he actually kissed you back.
Fans were already commenting about how long it took for the two of you to get together, but the team was too focused on laughing at the caption to pay any mind to the comments.
She said the trend was kind of old, but that fits because I’ve got a habit of waiting too long anyways.
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do you think the jedi prohibit 'frivolous uses of the force'?? because i see it a lot in fic but i swear i distinctly remember obi-wan using the force to pull a literal chair over lmfao
Yoooo, I've been wanting to write a post about that for like a week xD Okay, so here's the thing: I started answering this one, confident that I knew where the use of the word 'frivolous' came from - but it turned out that I was wrong, so I'm actually a bit baffled about its origin. But here goes:
(@cacodaemonia I know you were interested in this topic?)
No, I don't think the Jedi prohibit that. I don't think the Jedi even have 'frivolous' use of the Force as a concept. The idea that they prohibit it, or at least frown upon it, is very likely rooted in the AotC scene of Anakin levitating a piece of fruit.
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Wookieepedia cites that scene and that scene only on the topic of frivolousness in the page on Telekinesis.
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But the word frivolous isn't used in that scene! Who came up with it? Obi-Wan being grumpy about Anakin levitating the fruit could mean just about anything. Maybe Jedi frown upon showing off in front of a diplomat you're meant to be protecting in a professional way. Maybe Obi-Wan and only Obi-Wan disapproves of Anakin levitating stuff because he kept doing it around the apartment as a kid, just to be a little shit. Maybe Jedi frown upon playing with your food with the Force, which wouldn't necessarily be linked with it being 'frivolous' but just with 'don't be gross.'
Now I thought it came from the novelization using that specific word, but it doesn't! The novelization is based on the original script as opposed to the dialogue in the movie (it actually came out before the movie, so that's why) and the scene is longer in them both and seems to confirm what I said about how it could mean a lot of other things (because he isn't just levitating it originally, he's playing with it):
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(novelization)
PADME: You did that? [ANAKIN looks up - wide-eyed innocence.] ANAKIN: What? [PADME scowls at him. PADME jabs at the fruit - ANAKIN subtly moves his hand and it lifts up from the plate and hovers in front of her.] PADME: That! Now stop it! [PADME laughs. ANAKIN laughs. She reaches out for the fruit - it loops.] PADME (continuing): Anakin!! [ANAKIN moves his fingers. The fruit flies into his hand.] ANAKIN: I'm not really supposed to do that... for fun, I mean. If Master Obi-Wan were here, he'd be very grumpy. [ANAKIN is pleased. He cuts the fruint (sic) into several pieces and sends one back to PADME. She bites it out of the air and laughs.]
(script)
Even taking Anakin at face value, this does not say there is an Order-wide ban on 'frivolous' uses of the Force. Again, maybe Force-assisted food shenanigans are frowned upon. Maybe Anakin isn't supposed to mess with people with the Force for fun. Maybe it's just Anakin assuming, as he sometimes does.
I think 'frivolous' might come from one of the EU books - it's not from No Prisoners (the Karen Travis TCW book) though, so I have no idea who might have used it in that context first??
Anyway, the issue in fic is that 'frivolous' is often confused with 'casual.' Hence the Obi-Wan thing imo.
One, 'frivolous' is judgy - it gives it a sense of sin, something that the Jedi... don't seem to have that much of a concept of? Dressing 'immodestly' isn't condemned, for example. I don't see the Order as a whole (there are sticks in the mud everywhere) having a thing against a concept as vague as 'frivolousness.' I mean... Yoda? His whole idea of fun is to mess with people and cackle, and his teaching methods include massive trolling, teasing the grown-up Masters with his gaggle of kiddos and whatnot. You cannot tell me Yoda never tugged on somebody's cloak to make them trip.
Two, frivolous and casual aren't the same thing. Obi-Wan pulling the chair falls into the casual use category imo - and yes, we do see him and others do this kind of casual stuff many times! (Off the top of my head: Obi-Wan grabs the map-ball thingy from the map-reader in AotC - in front of younglings, so there's no fear of a bad example being set - Yoda calls his stick to his hand in AotC, Obi-Wan pulls a chair in TCW s2, Jedi call their lightsabers to them all the time - though it's usually in combat settings, so it doesn't necessarily count, Obi-Wan closes a door in AotC - I think Ewan was the one who thought it'd be neat to do it? Idk...)
And I don't agree that "it goes to show their hypocrisy" or whatever. What, because we assume that's what Anakin meant in the AotC scene and because we assume it's 100% an Order-wide thing, and we assume that the Jedi would view using the Force for daily tasks as frivolous, then every single instance of Jedi using the Force for simple every day stuff is hypocritical?! Even though floating freaking fruit around somebody's head and pulling up a chair are absolutely not the same thing? The latter is something you would do no matter whether you use the Force or not - pulling a chair is a normal thing to do. Playing with fruit around someone is a rude thing to do. There's a difference whether or not 'frivolous' stuff is frowned upon.
And also, using the Force is a natural thing. The Jedi do it like they breathe - it's all around them and they're aware of it constantly, and it's not always something they can turn on or off. It's natural that they would use it for daily stuff, and the level of respect that comes attached with using it would necessarily vary from one Jedi to the other. Just look at Quinlan. What, jumping out of a gunship to make an entrance isn't frivolous? Well, Quinlan is a Master, so his views on it are just as valid - just as Jedi - as anybody else's. (Plus Obi-Wan - the Council Member - gives him grief for being late, not for just for being ridiculous, so again - rudeness.)
I can see some Masters being against using the Force with carelessness - and yeah, I can also see some Masters being against using it in a 'fun' way - because you have to be careful with that stuff, but it probably would generate debate. There wouldn't be a definite consensus on what is too much and what isn't.
If "the Jedi all frown upon casually using the Force" is something that Lucas intended to convey in the movie, please correct me and give me a source.
Though it is also entirely possible that Obi-Wan was meant to be a bit hypocritical about it - because he and Anakin have their tensions, and as somewhat of a parental figure it's only natural that he would scold Anakin for stuff that isn't that big of deal, or that he himself has done, because that's what every person who's ever been in charge of a younger person has done at some point. So sure, maybe Obi-Wan scolded Anakin for being too casual with the Force? But I still don't see it as a Big Rule that is in the Jedi Code That Must Not Be Violated and that get you Shamed and Shunned if you dare to have fun with the Force.
(Honestly, it reminds me of 'your Lightsaber is your Life' thing, and Ahsoka and Anakin both separately whining that their Master was going to kill them for losing/breaking theirs. There's a certain level or respect and care expected, the Masters (or... only Obi-Wan and Anakin, lol) nag a bit, aren't always careful enough themselves, the kids make a big deal out of it in front of other people, but ultimately there are zero repercussion whatsoever for actually failing to follow the Master's nagging. Like, Jocasta tells Ahsoka Anakin would totally understand, and it's Ahsoka who insists he wouldn't and makes it into a big thing.)
Again, having Masters tell their students to be respectful of the Force and not to treat it like a joke? Sure. Showing off with the Force in a rude manner being called 'frivolous,' and it being a bad thing? I could see it. Having Masters get pissy about pulling chairs, closing doors or whatever - about doing things you can do with your hands with the Force instead? Maybe, but it wouldn't be an Order-wide thing.
One thing's for certain, we never see a Master directly scolding a student for using the Force casually in the Prequels, the OT or TCW, much less calling it 'frivolous.'
So yeah, gimme Jedi levitating stuff to clean up under the furniture xD
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blackenedwhite97 · 3 years
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Coming Out [Poly! Erasermic x {Fem}Reader]
Hello! this was a requested fic from like before Christmas. I'M A MESS I KNOW I'M SORRY! I’ll be catching up at some point, I'm in my final sem at uni and have MAJOR senioritis. Me no do unless me have to. Instead, now I just spend my time staring at the existential abyss the threatens to swallow my ceiling and think about everything I'm procrastinating. But I digress...
Content Warning: This story is of a negative experience coming out as poly to your family, this deals with rejection from the reader's mother, father, and a grandparent. This story demonstrates Homophobia, xenophobia, traditionalist and conservative values and attitudes and may be triggering to some folks.
This story includes a Polyamorous relationship
Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.
Word Count: 3.7 K (A baby story)
Y/N --- 4:06pm
Hey can my roomates come to dinner?
DAD --- 4:06
You mean the gays?
Y/M --- 4:08
Please don’t call them that. Neither of them are gay anyways, there’s more than just gay or straight.
DAD --- 4:10
Yeah whatever. Let your mom decide.
MOM --- 5:12
Sure, they can come.
Mom --- 5:23
Gma might be coming dinner tho. Maybe talk to them?
That conversation should have been enough of a warning for how the evening was going to transpire. At news of your grandmother attending dinner, you panicked and tried to back out of your plans. You had been growing steadily farther apart from your parents anyways, barely seeing them more that once a year if that. It’s not like they didn’t have their suspicions anyways, to them you were a single woman living in the big city sharing an apartment with two gay men. Not that they’d ever been to the apartment. If they had they might have notice that one of the two “bedrooms” was being used as an office. Earlier on in the relationship you were so deeply uncomfortable being around your parents alone, that you had Shouta come with you every visit because you were so paranoid you were just going to come out on the spot.
At first your parents were sure that you and Shouta were together. He had subconsciously cleaned up quite nice the first few times he met your parents anyways, wanting to make a good impression on them if you finally did tell them about your polyamorous relationship. Then as time went on you got busier and started to see them less. Shouta’s parents lived in the suburbs and you saw them on holidays, plus Shouta had come out to them as being bisexual a long time ago and hadn’t felt much pressure to hide the polyamorous nature of your relationship to begin with. Hizashi’s mom was still a city dweller in her 60’s and on top of doing the cute mom things like baking fantastic cookies and handing down family jewelry to the daughter in law, she’d also taken Hizashi and Shouta to their first pride in Tokyo and had an in-home recording studio where she recorded for local punk bands. She was, quite literally, a cool mom.
You gnawed vigorously at your thumbnail, not quiet biting the whole way through, instead riddling it with dents and cracks. Chewing your nails wasn’t a habit you’d always had, it became a sort of silent worry thing you started to do when you got to your agency and had to remain still and quiet during briefings, no matter how terrible the news was. Your ruined nail beds were an atrocity to Hizashi, who had paid several times for you to get a manicure to get your nails short and evenly trimmed so you could manage them on your own. You still somehow found a way to gnaw on the short squared off nubs of your nails though, and it drove him nuts. Shouta cared less, his hands were in ridiculous shape, he was callused and bruised, cracked and flaking all over the place and Hizashi would regularly force moisturizer on them. Shouta cared more about figure out the root stress, it’s not that Hizashi didn’t, he just didn’t know how to, so he settled for pampering you.
“It’s dead.” Hizashi huffed from the bedroom door. “Obliterated, actually.”
“Hmm?” You looked up from your phone, you hadn’t been reading any of the messages in the chat for a good few minutes and just let your eyes unfocus instead. You yanked your thumb from your mouth and hid it below the table like a child caught with a sweet they’d snuck from the kitchen before dinner, you knew he saw.
“Your nail.” Hizashi gently patted the end of his hair with his special fluffy towel that he’d convinced you and Shouta he needed to control his frizz (which he didn’t have) and padded towards the kitchen table where you sat. He placed a kiss on the top of your head as he strode around you.
“What’s up, love?” he murmured softly, leaning against the table next you. One of his legs propped up on the chair to your right and leaned down to look at your phone screen.
“This is going to go horribly.” You breathed, panicked as you set your phone down on the table.
“You don’t know that.” Hizashi looked back up at you and smiled sweetly.
“Not everyone’s mom is a cool rocker lady in her 60’s who lives in the heart of downtown still and is fully supportive of her child’s bisexual polyamorous relationship with their childhood best friend and an ex-small-town girl with an ultra-conservative family.” You huffed out in one long breath.
“That was oddly specific.” He chuckled softly. “What about Sho’s parents, they’re conservative?”
“Yeah, but his parents are at least polite and send us both Christmas gifts every year and keep any and all of their shittier opinions to themselves because they want their son to be happy.” You groaned dramatically, dropping your head onto his thigh, using the extra meat to muffle the noise.
“Y-your-” Hizashi’s leg twitched from the vibrations of your groan. “Your parents want you to be happy too, Y/n.”
You groaned into his thigh, trying to explain the difference between your parent’s and Shouta’s. Hizashi laughed and gently grabbed the side of your face, lifting it so you were no longer muffled by his leg.
“Try again.” He instructed.
“They only want me to be happy if it fits into their rigid frame of what acceptable happiness looks like.” You explained again.
“Hey,” Hizashi ran his thumb back and forth across your cheek, “have faith, baby. They’re your family, they love you.”
If only he’d been right.
Shouta was the know it all, the one that way always right. Hizashi on the other hand was quiet used to being the one that was not always right, he had no hubris about his intelligence what-so-ever. So much so that sometimes you and Shouta had to remind him that he was intelligent and offered a lot of knowledge and wisdom in many many ways: public speaking, social relationships, radio scripting, he spoke two languages fluently as well. However, this one-time Hizashi wished dearly that he had been right, that he was an insufferable know it all who never got it wrong. It was a different twisted feeling in his gut, sitting the back seat watching you try to keep it together in the front seat, than the usual mild embarrassment that faded after a couple of minutes when he was wrong about something. That was damn near luxurious compared to the painful knot tearing into his stomach.
The silence in the car was so dense and absolute that it almost physically gagged Hizashi and Shouta, the two of them were too afraid to say anything and break it. It felt as though the heavy silence was keeping you from breaking, as if it were applying enough pressure at all sides to keep the thin veneer of composure you were managing together. You felt it too, along with the heavy weight that was nearly crushing your chest, the thick doughy lump clogging your throat and the tremble in your lips. You took a deep breath, it getting caught halfway and freezing in to an unrealized sob that you pushed down.
Shouta huffed and pulled off to the side of the dark country road, slowing into the gravelly shoulder. He turned in his seat to face you, undoing his seat belt so he could fully turn his body. You kept your eyes out the window, trying with all your might not to let the tears that clouded your eyes to fall. You knew you’d need to cry about this, about your parents and their conditional love. You knew that this was something you would need to deal with, but you didn’t want to at this moment. You wanted to go home, take some sleeping medication and go to sleep, you wanted to wait until the open wound in your chest had stopped bleeding to begin treating it.
Your father was being facetious about your living arrangement as usual, whenever he was faced with Shouta and Hizashi his first reaction was to constantly point out that fact that you were a woman living with two men and that if they weren’t gay that one of them should have married you by now. Shouta and Hizashi had taken these comments like water rolling off of a duck’s back, Hizashi even grinned and mumbled something about your father tempting him. You could have kept your mouth shut, you could have kept your cool but Shouta’s hand was brushing against your thigh and you felt it tense into an annoyed fist. Something about Shouta’s minimal reaction lit a fire in you, more like an explosion. It was a surge of very sudden and very ferocious courage that lasted a split second and no longer. You’d practically shouted it, the ringing in your ears drowning whatever words you’d used out.
You were met with complete and utter silence, shock and fear thick in the air. You’d almost believed for a moment that you hadn’t done it, that you’d just shouted randomly and just scared everyone. But then your dad stood up, his shocked open mouth flattening out into a hard straight line, this jaw swelling as he clenched it.
“W-what?” he growled, stepping back from the table as if you were a threat.
You were ready to backtrack, you were so ready to just laugh and pretend you were fucking with him. But you spared a glance to Shouta and Hizashi, their faces pale and guilty. They, regardless of what you could say in an attempt to cover up what you’d just said, were basically admitting to it already. You instinctively shrunk back into your chair like you’d do when you were younger at the dinner table whenever something uncomfortable would come up. You could tell everyone was at a loss for words, the difference was that you were scared and at a loss for words, Shouta and Hizashi were shocked and at a loss for words and your father was steaming angry and at a loss for words.
Your mother, who had always been the least confrontational of the two turned away from you and almost in a show of disgust immediately went to comfort your grandmother. It was as if you were an afront to goodness, an act of moral atrocity being committed in front of them. Your father began to barrage you with passive aggressive questions and accusations towards Shouta and Hizashi. He was trying to understand while at the same time refusing to give you a chance to explain. You stopped listening after the first few sentences that came out of his mouth, falling back into an internal monologue filled with regret. He must have said something exceptionally terrible because in an instant Shouta was standing, his arm reaching out to separate you from him and he was shouting. Shouta never shouted, he barely voiced any form of annoyance or frustration in general when it wasn’t a learning moment for his students, but here he was on his feet volleying harsh word with your father.
Hizashi, you realized was attempting damage control, his hands raised and his voice lower than either of the other two men’s. You blinked back into the present, as noise filled your ears, you mother was crying, your father and Shouta were shouting and Hizashi was rambling panicked. You took a couple of deep breaths and stood up on shaky legs, gripping Shouta’s protective arm for support, and looked your father in the eyes. He faltered at the direct eye contact and you saw an opening where there was less shouting to contend with.
“Stop,” you hissed through gritted teeth. “this is why I never wanted to tell you! Why I was perfectly okay with living away from you guys for the rest- This is why I haven’t been home.”
Your mother gasped a ragged, tear-filled breath. She’d expressed before that she’d wished she could see you more often, that she’s noticed you’d been coming home less and less. You’d been good at covering it up, saying you were busy with work and simply couldn’t get the time off. You knew that what you’d just said hurt her, not in the way it should have. It hurt her because you’d just told them it was their fault that you felt unwelcomed here and not because you were afraid of your own parents.
“How long?” she breathed.
“Three years.” You sniffed, hand tightening around Shouta’s wrist.
“THREE?! THR-” your father bellowed in disbelief. “For three years they’ve been brainwashing and forcing themselves on you?!”
Suddenly you understood why Shouta had leapt up, you had just now caught up with the conversation. Red hot anger flared up in your chest, the mere insinuation that you were being forced in anyway to be with your partners filled you with utter rage.
“No!” You growled, for the first time in your life matching your father’s volume. “For three years they’ve been by my side, showing up at the hospital when I got hurt at work, celebrating my promotions at the agency, helping me make a home that I feel safe in and actually fucking caring about me!”
There was silence again, this one was thin but not light in anyway, like it was a delicate thread barely holding a great weight from falling and crushing you.
“We care for you.” You mother said darkly.
“No,” you swallowed hard, “you haven’t for a long time.”
“Get out.” You father growled.
Hizashi was already moving, grabbing your coats from the back of the chairs and pulling Shouta by the arm away from the table. It took you a good long second to move, even then it was because Shouta latched onto your shoulders and Hizashi tugged him along.
“I’m sorry.” Shouta whispered, his hand finding yours in your lap. You kept your eyes focused out the window at the pitch-black fields with barely visible for off golden dots of light. You couldn’t talk.
You heard Hizashi shuffling around in the back seat, scooting closer to you and his hand joined Shouta’s, pulling up onto the storage compartment between the seats. It was cracking, that veneer.
“It’s not your fault.” Hizashi murmured.
You sniffed hard, biting int you bottom lip. Of course, it wasn’t your fault that your parents didn’t accept you, that you weren’t good enough or right for them, that you weren’t on par with the apparent morality of the rest of the family. It wasn’t your fault that they were backwards people with terrible ideas of how a person should be. It still didn’t hurt any less that you couldn’t meet those backwards ideals, that you couldn’t be the right kind of person for them.
“Y/n,” Shouta whispered, gently grabbing your chin and turning your face towards them.
They were looking at you the way a mother looks at her crying baby in the first few months, the desperate need to connect and nurture glowing in their eyes. They were filled with worry, with pity, with understanding but also, with fear. No doubt, what had just happened had been traumatic for them too. Looking into their emotion filled eyes you felt that veneer shatter, falling away and unleashing that mournful sobbing that had been trapped inside.
Shouta pulled you towards him, holding you firmly to his chest placing his head atop yours. You vaguely felt Hizashi disappear from you for a moment, but you were too preoccupied with the trembling muscles seizing violently in your chest. Then you felt him sliding in behind you, only now realizing he’d stepped out of the car and slide in through your door as he shut it behind him. He draped himself over you rubbing circles into your back.
“It’s not your fault.” He murmured into your hair over and over again.
At first you didn’t really focus on it, thinking it idle words of comfort but the more he said the more it sunk in. The more your realized that you were holding onto the hope that there was something about this, about you, that you could fix. With every repetition of those four words that false hope chipped away and that heavy weight in your chest began to fall away. It was still painful, it still felt like you had a pen festering wound that you’d never fully heal from, but it also felt lighter. It felt as though a burden you’d believed was yours to bear was suddenly the responsibility of the many.
“You don’t have to change,” Shouta whispered softly as your sobs ebbed into weak beaths, “they do.”
That reignited some tears, to hear what you needed to said so plainly. Shouta was good at that, putting those intangible thoughts and feelings into plain words. You cried until the tears and the worry and the late hour caught up with you, until your head felt heavy and waterlogged and you slumped backwards into Hizashi sniffing. You cried until your wavering breaths evened out and your tired mind fell to silence. Hizashi pulled you into his lap and cradled you against him like a parent holding and oversized child, running his hand slowly through your hair.
When you awoke you were swaddled thoroughly with the fuzzy blanket from the couch Shouta hated because it shed and sandwiched between the two men who snored away. As you blinked in the early morning light that just barely peaked through the blinds you noticed the red rims around Hizashi’s eyes and deep-set circles under Shouta’s as if they both been awake all night. Shouta was still in his dress shirt and Hizashi had stripped down to his boxers and pulled his hair back into a sloppy bun. Neither were properly snoring which told they hadn’t been asleep for very long.
You tried to ignore what had happened last night, what had led to the heavy feeling in your head and crusty dry eyes and tight cheeks. You tried to pretend that they had stayed up for work, that they you had swaddled yourself up in the blanket nor because you were sad but because you just wanted to be cozy. Then you heard a phone vibrate on the nightstand and any and all work towards denial washed away as you dreaded checking it. It could just be a work thing, it could be Hizashi’s phone even though he’d never had it on silent even once since you��ve known him. It could have been Shouta’s vibrating against the wooden table even though you could see his slightly peeking out of his back pocket.
You sighed and sat up, daring the smallest of glances at the nightstand. It was your phone screen that was lit up, several notifications on the screen. You groaned and laid back down, scrunching your eyes shut begging for sleep to suddenly and miraculously take you. It buzzed again and you huffed. Fine. You’ll check it. I guess someone could be dying. I do stop that from happening for a living.
You very cautiously crawled over Hizashi and reached to get your phone, electing not to look at it until you settled back between your boys. You scrolled though your notifications, weather, news, a work email, a second email from a contact that made your blood run cold and three missed calls and two answering machine messages from the same contact. Grandma. Your hands trembled at you unlocked your phone and typed int your voicemail password. You held the phone up to you ear and listen to the first message which was more or less just some frustrated grandma noises and mumbles about the inconvenience of technology, followed briefly by a set of hellos. If you hadn’t been ready to shit yourself, you’d have laughed. Then the second played and you had to take a deep breath to hold yourself together enough to keep listening.
“Hello? Hello? Y/n? Oh shi- well this is just ridiculous. Y/n, I don’t know if you can hear me, or maybe this is your answering machine, I don’t know I can’t hear too well but-” her soft worn voice said into the phone, “I want you to know that I love you. Your parents love you too, even if they did not act like it tonight.”
She paused and your eyes welled up with tears, a lump forming in your throat. It was this strange feeling of pure sadness but also happiness and relief.
“Those boys,” she continued, “probably would have killed your father last night if they had the chance. I’m not saying I get it, but they sure do love you, sweetheart. I quite like the blond one he is very-”
The message cut off and the automated voice asked you what you wanted to do with the message. All you could do was laugh, laugh and cry. You were still sad, still in pain, but it was already starting to feel less life-ending.
“Hey,” Shouta mumbled blearily, “S’okay. I’m here.”
He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, trying to pull himself from sleep. You hugged him back and massaged the back of his scalp gently.
“Listen to this.” You sniffed.
He nodded and you pressed repeat, listening to the whole second message through again. You watched as a smile spread across his sleepy lips and he laughed softly. He pouted suddenly when it ended, his eyebrows pulling together as much as his drowsy state would let them.
“What?” you asked, worried he’d heard something you‘d missed.
“Why does she like Zash more?” he grumbled, barely awake now.
You smiled and curled into him, electing not to answer knowing that he wouldn’t like being told that Hizashi is more sociable than him. Besides, you smiled to yourself, he’d be asleep in a matter of seconds.
You were still hurt; you still had that big open wound in your chest. But with Shouta and Hizashi at your side you knew you’d heal; you knew they’d give you anything you needed. You knew that your grandmother was right, that these two boys loved you very much.
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cali-holland · 3 years
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An Irregular Romance ★ Harrison Osterfield One Shot
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Pairing: Harrison Osterfield X Reader
Summary: Over five years ago, Harrison followed his heart (a.k.a. you) to drama school, and the day he asked you out was the day he discovered you had a boyfriend. He thought that part of his past was behind him, but then he was cast as Leo in The Irregulars and you were cast as Bea. Romance and shenanigans ensue as he tries to navigate the resurrection of his crush on you.
Word Count: 10k
Warnings: spoilers for The Irregulars, swearing, drinking (reader gets v drunk at one point), cheating boyfriend + “open relationship” drama
Masterlist in bio
*Gif is not mine
A/N: inspired by harrison literally saying he followed the girl he liked to drama school but she didn’t like him back; the drama school is the brit school (idk if that’s what he was talking about but age wise it works better); also darci is 18+ in this fic bc it just fits better to make her around their age; plus i had to re-post this bc the tags didn’t work so rip
also just like to say a massive thank you to @duskholland​​ for proofreading this for me :) you’re the best! this fic would be missing 90% of its commas if it wasn’t for you lmao
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Harrison had been buzzing with excitement all week. While he knew for sure that he had landed the role of Prince Leo in The Irregulars, he had no idea who the other cast members were. His agent learned from Netflix that they’d announce the cast on Saturday, so now here he sat, anxiously awaiting the news as he drank another pint with his good friends.
“Anything yet?” Tuwaine asked, refreshing his Twitter timeline.
“Nope.” Harrison said with a shake of his head as Netflix’s Instagram page remained unchanged as another minute went by.
“Maybe they’re announcing it at midnight.” Tom shrugged, trying to be useful to ease his friend’s nerves.
“Everyone would be asleep.” The blond replied before taking another long drink of his beer.
“Well, congratulations whenever they officially announce it.” Harry stated, standing up with his empty glass. “Next round’s on me.”
The conversation began to wander off, and Harrison found himself deep in thought, pondering his mysterious, new castmates. Would he like them? Would they like him? Were they big names or no names? Were they people he had screen-tested with (because, truthfully, he only screen-tested with a few girls, but even then, he didn’t screen test with all of the potential actresses)? As he got stuck, trying to think of someone he’d actually liked when they screen-tested together, he was snapped out of his thoughts by Tom yelling.
“It’s up!” Tom held his phone in the middle of the table as he, Harrison, Tuwaine, and Harry, who was now back with more beer, looked over the cast. A sense of pride soared through the group at Harrison’s picture and name being on the official Netflix page for The Irregulars. Harrison read over the other names, wondering if he knew any by happenstance. Just as he recognized one name in particular, Tom spoke up.
“Y/N Y/L/N? Isn’t that the girl you fancied in drama school?” Tom asked with a smirk. His smirk seemed to widen as Harrison blushed a deeper shade of red.
“No, no, no!” Harrison grumbled, taking out his phone to look over the post for himself because maybe, if he looked from his own account, the cast would magically change. When he looked at your name and picture right beside his, realization hit him. He slumped over, putting his head down on the table regretfully.
“I’d nearly forgotten about Haz’s girl that wasn’t his girl.” Tuwaine joked.
“Wait, what girl?” Harry questioned, out of the loop.
Perhaps the stupidest but best choice Harrison had ever made in his life was following you, his biggest crush, to drama school. Why his mother even let him chase after a girl like that was beyond him; he thought she should’ve advised him against it, but with the whole “follow your heart” attitude, his mum was his biggest supporter. He did his best to impress you, to get you to notice him, but you were unfazed by him. The day that he finally got the courage to ask you out was the day that he learned you’d had a boyfriend for the past two months.
Though he didn’t get the girl in drama school, he actually enjoyed it, and look where he ended up now— a new Netflix show was on the horizon for him. Despite the fact that he was (and still sort of is) crushed and embarrassed by the fact that you (very kindly) rejected him five years ago, drama school turned out to be a blessing.
“Harrison, here,” Tom laughed as he clapped his friend’s shoulder as Harrison still didn’t lift his head from his pitiful position, “thought he’d pursue acting because Y/N wanted to be an actress. He didn’t realize that in order to get her attention, he’d have to actually talk to her.”
That was enough to make Harrison lift his head, eyeing his friend questioningly. Cutting Tom off, he defended himself, “What do you mean? I did talk to her.”
“Right— you’d have maybe one conversation with her every three weeks.” Tom turned back to his brother, “Anyway, Haz finally asked her out and, turns out, she’d been dating this other guy for months.”
“Whatever. I only asked her out because you and Tuwaine shoved me into her. Maybe she doesn’t even remember me.” Harrison pulled out his phone to check over Netflix’s Instagram, wanting to see for himself the new cast again. When he opened the app, it notified him of all the new followers he had gotten, and, with one glance at the list of names, one account stood out to him.
‘@yourusername started following you’. Harrison let out a sigh, not wanting to dwell on this any further.
“She works fast.” Harry teased, looking over the blond’s shoulder.
“We’re co-stars now. She probably followed everyone else too.”
As if on cue, a new notification came through his Instagram— ‘@yourusername sent you a message’. With bated breath, he opened it to see the message that confirmed his worst fear— you remembered him.
‘Hey stranger! How have you been?’
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With every passing day, Harrison’s excitement for this new big project grew… but so did his dread about seeing you again. He wasn’t entirely sure now as to why his gut was filled with butterflies mixed with anxiety just thinking about you. You were only ever nice to him, both before and after he asked you out. It all led him back to the same conclusion that he still had a thing for you, but yet again, maybe it’s just life that your first real crush always has some power over you.
As he walked down the strangely long hallway to the conference room, he adjusted the collar of his letterman’s jacket. Today was the big day— the first table read for The Irregulars, and the first day he’d be confronted by you after all these years. Just on the other side of this door, his co-stars and the main production crew were waiting. Everything was real now; production would start in just a few days.
With one last nervous breath, he pushed open the heavy oak door and entered the room. People were chatting as they sat around the large conference table, which had small name cards at each seat. Harrison’s eyes found you almost immediately. You were locked into a conversation with your co-star, Darci, seated to your left for the table read. To your right was one of the last available seats, and Harrison’s name was on the little card on the table. All hopes of being unnoticed by you were instantaneously gone as he took his seat beside you.
“Fancy seeing you here.” You said to Harrison with a laugh, and he was instantly reminded of how that laugh basically drove him to where he was today.
“How long has it been?” Harrison asked, trying to play it cool like he hadn’t been rehearsing this day in his mind for the past several months.
“Far too long.” You smiled.
As the last few people trickled into the room, introductions flew around the table as everyone met their new coworkers. After a cold read-through of the script and a few words from the show’s creator, the table read was deemed over. Just when Harrison thought he was free to forget about your existence for a few more days, you pulled him aside.
“Hey, Darci and I were going to get drinks with McKell and Jojo. You should come.” You offered, and Harrison chanced a glance across the room to where Darci was chatting with your other two main co-stars.
“Uh, yeah, sure.” Harrison replied. He cleared his throat before giving you a definite nod that yes, that’d be a great idea.
“Perfect.”
And just like that, the five of you made your way across town to a pub. Darci had chosen the spot, explaining that it was the best place for drinks in Liverpool, and, seeing as she’d lived there her whole life, none of you tried to argue with her.
Harrison felt a strange pit in his stomach as everyone talked and laughed over some beers, as if you weren’t all strangers a few hours ago. His eyes always seemed to land on you and your contagious smile. You looked almost exactly how he remembered you, and you still were the same happy, go-lucky girl he’d fallen hard for. It was crazy to him how quickly you gave him butterflies, how effortlessly you made him feel like a silly schoolboy all over again. He couldn’t help but wonder if you thought he’d changed since his school days, too… or if you even thought about him enough to notice. So far, you’d made no indication that he was anyone besides an old friend from drama school, making him hope you didn’t remember that dreadful day.
As you and Darci excused yourself for a bathroom break, Harrison gave himself a little reminder that he was meant to be getting to know all of his co-stars right now and wasn’t meant to be focusing so intently on you. He took another sip of his beer, turning back to Jojo and McKell.
“So how do you and Y/N know each other?” McKell asked, and Jojo tried to hide his shit-eating grin behind his beer.
“Drama school, a few years ago.” Harrison replied, trying to play ignorant.
“Ah, so it’s a schoolboy crush, then?” Jojo questioned teasingly.
Harrison felt his face heat up. Jojo and McKell were practically strangers to him, and they already knew. He was cornered, “Is it that obvious?”
“A little.” McKell said while Jojo simultaneously replied, “Very.”
“Just ask her out.” Jojo encouraged.
“That’s the problem— I did.” Harrison replied, and both of their jaws dropped.
“No way. Did she let you down easy at least?” McKell’s voice was somewhere between a disbelieving, teasing, and pitiful tone.
Harrison scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “Well, yeah? I mean she wasn’t rude about it, but it was still a bit awkward. She was dating this other guy at the time. He didn’t go to our school, though, so I had no clue about him.”
“That’s rough.” Jojo grimaced, before he gave Harrison a hopeful smile, “Maybe she’s single now.”
“I’ve been rejected by Y/N once— I don’t need her to reject me a second time.” He shook his head with a small laugh to conceal his embarrassment. He took a drink of his beer, hoping that would calm his nerves a little.
“Incoming,” McKell said quietly, nodding in the direction of the bathroom.
“What’d we miss?” Darci asked as she slipped back into her seat. You remained standing to put your jacket on, both you and Darci completely unaware of the boys’ conversation.
“Nothing, just Jojo being an idiot.” McKell joked, to which his newfound friend just punched him in the arm, taking another long drink of his beer.
“I think I might head back to the hotel.” Your words were met with a collective groan from three of your co-stars— Harrison silently frowned as he sipped on his beer.
As your head was down to collect your things, Jojo swiftly kicked Harrison under the table. Harrison looked at him quizzically, sending him a “what the hell was that for” look. When his co-star just nodded his head encouragingly towards you, Harrison got the idea.
“I’ll walk you.” Harrison said, making you look over at him. Standing up from his seat, he insisted, “I was just about to head out, too.”
“Okay,” You smiled, still completely unaware of his interaction with Jojo.
After you all exchanged phone numbers and created a group chat lovingly titled “The Irregz”, you and Harrison left the pub. You fell in step together, walking along the sidewalk in the chilly Liverpool air back to the hotel that you’d all be staying at for the next few months.
“So what have you been up to since graduation?” Harrison asked you, his hands deep in the pockets of his letterman’s jacket.
“All sorts of things, really.” You shrugged with a smile, “I got a few TV roles here and there, did some modeling, but so far none of it has really stuck, so I’m hopeful that this will be a foot in the door. What about you?”
“The same as you, really, but, instead of shows, I’ve done some short films.”
“I see you’re still best friends with Tom.” You said in a teasing tone. Harrison felt an unusual, upsetting tug on his heartstring. Not noticing any change in his demeanor, you continued with a laugh, “It’s funny. I would’ve placed my bets on you being world-famous after graduation.”
“Me?” He questioned, surprised by your words.
“Yeah, you didn’t go to LAMDA for nothing.” You playfully nudged his arm with your elbow, and he felt his cheeks heat up once more. “Don’t be modest— I’m not wrong.”
“Can’t argue with that logic.” A laugh passed his lips, any previous bashful reservations slowly fading away.
Before Harrison could say anything further, your phone began to ring. You fished it out of your pocket and barely looked at the caller ID before sending it to voicemail. Your actions were fast, but Harrison still caught the name of who was calling, Davey, followed by a red heart emoji. And that’s when it hit him— you were still with the same boyfriend from drama school, all those years ago.
And just like that, Harrison felt a tsunami wave of heartbreak from drama school wash over him.
“Hey, Y/N!” Harrison called out as he stumbled his way over to stall you from leaving school. He had one hand holding onto his book bag strap tight enough that his knuckles were turning white, and he shuffled his other through his hair.
“Hey, is everything alright?” You asked, concerned at how nervous he seemed.
“Yeah, um, well, tonight’s opening night for West Side Story, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me? I know it’s your favorite play, and it’s one of mine too, so, yeah, I thought maybe we could go together?” He was sure that he’d never sounded so unsure of himself. Truth is, he didn’t want to ask you out right now, but Tom and Tuwaine had quite literally shoved him in your direction, physically encouraging him. He felt rushed and unprepared.
When you smiled so captivatingly and softly at him, he felt his racing heart speed up even more. Was this it? Was he really going to take you on a date? He thought to himself. His hopes weren’t up for long as you spoke up, “I can’t. I’ve already got tickets for tonight. I’m going with Davey.”
“Davey?”
“My boyfriend.” You replied, a hint of guilt in your voice.
His heart shattered. The only reason he was here, at this school, was because of you, and now he just had all of his hopes for any future dates with you thrown out the window.
“You and Davey are still together?” Harrison wondered aloud as you two arrived at the hotel.
“Yeah,” Your response was hesitant and quiet. He knew why— there was that elephant in the room between the two of you.
Before he could stop himself from mentioning it, he blurted out, “You don’t have to feel guilty about it, you know.”
You paused, watching unsure as he ran a hand through his hair nervously. “I kinda wonder what would’ve happened if I had said yes. Davey and I didn’t even end up seeing  West Side Story, anyway, so I wonder if you and I would’ve ended up any differently.”
It wasn’t much, but his heart sped up ever so slightly— so you had thought about him, even in the dating context. Harrison couldn’t think of a response (his brain repeated “fuck Davey, ask her out again”) fast enough as you stopped at the front desk. You mumbled something about needing some towels, and Harrison took that as his cue to just continue walking. He bid you a quick farewell, wanting to escape to his room as fast as possible.
Nothing you had said tonight had been particularly flirty, but he still rewound the events in his head because maybe he missed something. As he laid down in his bed that night, his mind drifted off with thoughts of you, wondering just how he’d manage to pull off these next few months without falling for you all over again.
Over the next several weeks, his predicament only seemed to grow. Spending so much time with you (and your other three co-stars) just made Harrison wish even more that he’d asked you out sooner in drama school, and having to spend most of his screen time gawking over you added to it further. Maybe it was another school boy crush, or maybe it was intense method acting— either way, he definitely liked you.
Ever since he read the script for episode four, he knew that eventually your two characters would become romantically involved. He would’ve felt giddy over the thought (because his eighteen-year-old self would’ve died at this opportunity), but whenever he thought of the scene, he was reminded about your boyfriend. Harrison wasn’t the type of guy to hate his crush’s boyfriend, but something just didn’t seem right about Davey.
Harrison was lying on his hotel bed, reading over the episode’s script for what must have been the fifth time through that afternoon. It was Sunday, the day before you’d both film Leo and Bea’s kiss. With a beer on his side table and an array of highlighters beside it, he was set. As the words started to run together, and his glasses began to feel uncomfortable on his nose, he heard a knock at his door.
“Coming!” Harrison called out. Setting his script aside, he rolled off the bed. He was confused at who could possibly be at his door, but, figuring it was someone from set, he had the decency to slip on a white t-shirt, opting for not answering the door in nothing but grey sweats. He was thankful for his last-minute decision as he opened the door and was met with you on his doorstep. Smiling at you and leaning on the doorframe, he let out a small, “Hey.”
“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to rehearse tomorrow’s scene.” You offered with a friendly smile on your face.
“Right now?” He asked, glancing back into his room to decipher if it was clean enough or not.
“Oh, is this a bad time?” You replied, subconsciously stepping back. “Is someone here?”
“What?” Harrison looked at you, confused before it clicked what you thought, “Oh, no, no. There’s no one here. I was just rehearsing, too.”
“So is that a yes then or-?” You trailed off.
“Yeah, come on in.” He opened his door fully, allowing you to step in. He chivalrously closed the door behind you. “Would you like water or anything?”
“Can I have a beer?” You asked, spotting the one on his nightstand.
“Sure.” Harrison nodded. While he got you a beer and grabbed his own half-consumed bottle and script, you settled on the couch with your pages in hand.
“Thank you.” You smiled as he handed you the beer, and you took a sip happily. “You know, I’m honestly so jealous of you this week.”
“Why?” He asked with a laugh, thrown off guard by your confession.
“You get to do all the palace scenes again.”
“I also throw myself off a balcony.”
“But still.” You insisted. “Leo really needs to sneak Bea into the palace just so I can have one of those extravagant ball dress scenes. I just want to feel like a princess, and I feel like it’s what Bea deserves.”
Harrison looked at you admiringly for a moment. “You are a princess.” His face dropped as soon as he realized he’d said his thoughts aloud. Coughing, he tried to cover it up, “I mean—- you were kind of princess-like in episode 3, right?”
“Smooth.” You laughed, but didn’t press the situation. Your phone began to ring, and Harrison watched as you rolled your eyes, declining the call and ultimately silencing your phone.
“Spam call?”
“More like clingy non-committal somewhat boyfriend.” You stated, rolling your eyes.
He furrowed his eyebrows, confused. You hadn’t mentioned Davey in the past few weeks— not that Harrison was complaining, but he just assumed you were private about your personal life. “I thought you and Davey were on good terms?”
“We are? I don’t know.” You sighed, taking a sip of your beer.
“If you’re not comfortable with the topic, we can just rehearse-”
“No, it’s fine. I just haven’t really talked about it with anyone. Before I came here, he asked about having an open relationship while I’m away, and I told him no. And the last time we talked, we got into an argument and that was a couple days ago. I’m not ready to talk to him, and at this point, I’d much rather talk to you than him. It’s very frustrating that he wants to have an open relationship, but he still expects me to be at his beck and call. It’s like he’s looking for someone to substitute me, but I can’t have a life of my own. He wasn’t the most supportive of me taking this job in the first place, too.” You paused, with a small shrug, “I know you’re probably thinking I should leave him, but I can’t. We’ve been together for 5 years. I don’t know anything else at this point.”
“I get it.” Harrison said softly, hesitantly resting a comforting hand on your knee. “He was your first love. It makes sense that it’s hard to move on.” He felt his own heart sink at his ironic words. After all, you were his first love.
“I wouldn’t say he’s my first love.” You said softly, placing your hand on his, squeezing it gently. “Plus, at this point, I wouldn’t even say I love him.”
A silence fell in the room. Harrison really didn’t know what to say now. He would have told you to leave him, but you already knew that, so what was the point in him repeating it? Besides, it was your relationship, and you needed to make the decision for yourself… or let Davey make it for you.
“Let’s go through the scene, yeah?” You asked, changing the topic. You dropped his hand to pick up your script again.
“Right.” Harrison mumbled to himself, flicking through the pages to the scene.
You glanced around his hotel suite for a moment, looking for something similar to a bridge rail to lean on. “Should we use the kitchen counter? As the bridge rail?”
“Yeah, that works.” He nodded. The two of you got up, scripts in hand. Harrison stood to your right, just as the stage direction had called for. There was some space between the two of you, enough room for Harrison to shuffle closer to you later, as scripted.
“You’re not on your own, Beatrice. You must remember that.” Harrison said to you, leaning on the counter but looking over to you with his icy blue eyes. “You’re very different to anyone I’ve ever met.”
“What do you mean?” You asked, looking at him curiously.
“You have something about you.” He started, awkwardly.
You cut him off, “Like a smell?”
“No, like a quality.” He chuckled softly before continuing, “I don’t know what it is, but I really like it.”
“Well, when you think of it, let me know.”
“I’ll be sure to.” He smiled at you, his confidence slowly building as the scene continued on. Harrison stepped closer to you until he was right beside you, leaning sideways on the counter. “And I’m not saying you don’t smell, by the way. I’m just saying that that’s not the thing.”
You laughed, turning your head away from him in disbelief. “You know, I was thinking of kissing you, but now I’m not gonna.”
Harrison paused, taking a moment to mentally hype himself up for what was about to happen, but also taking a moment because it was scripted for Leo to be nervous. “Well, uh, I suppose I have to kiss you then.”
You turned to him, smiling coyly. Slowly, Harrison closed his eyes and leaned in. His heart started racing faster as he felt your breath fan against his face before his lips finally found yours. It was gentle and hesitant, everything that it had been scripted to be. As much as he wanted to keep kissing you and keep tasting the sweet strawberries of your lipgloss, it had to end. He pulled away after a moment, and you seemed almost breathless as you opened your eyes to see him again.
“I meant it when I said you’re not on your own.” Harrison looked at you with more hesitancy this time, but he still kissed you with the softest passion. The script said that Leo and Bea kiss and continue to kiss for a few seconds; Harrison wasn’t counting, but he was sure this kiss was longer than it was meant to be. Again, he found himself dreading its inevitable end. If there was one thing he could do for the rest of his life, it’d be this… well, this amongst other things with you. His stomach started to stir with guilt as he remembered Davey; you were still technically in a relationship, open or not, arguing currently or not. But then it clicked with Harrison, you weren’t pulling away— no, you were fully kissing him back.
Before he could pull away and end the scene with his last few lines, a knock came from his door. Regretfully, he stepped away from you. He didn’t meet your eye as he went to answer the door while you read over the script on the counter. Flustered, he opened the door.
“Mum! You’re here.” Harrison’s eyes went wide, surprised to see his mother and his sister standing before him.
“Surprise!” She smiled, hugging him almost immediately. “We had to come and see you at your big job.”
“Are you not happy to see us?” Charlotte teased, and Harrison shook his head, pulling her in for a hug. As they all stepped into Harrison’s apartment, you waved from the kitchen.
“Hi.” You smiled, coming over to introduce yourself.
“Oh, mum, Charlotte, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is my mum and Charlotte, my sister.” Harrison introduced the three of you.
“You’re Y/N Y/L/N from drama school?” Phil said with a smile, making the connection as you shook her hand. Charlotte seemed to stifle a laugh as Harrison’s cheeks heated up.
“Yes, that sounds like me.” You laughed, brushing off any awkwardness that Harrison feared was there. “We were just rehearsing our scene for tomorrow.”
“Maybe we can come to set.” Phil suggested, sending Harrison an expectant look.
“I’ll have to ask. This is so, so last-minute, though, so I don’t know.” He replied.
“It’s a spontaneous weekend trip.” Charlotte clarified.
“We should get some dinner. We haven’t eaten much all day.” Phil told Harrison before turning to you, “Y/N, you should come, too. It’d be so lovely to get to know you.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” You trailed off, glancing at Harrison. He sent you a silent look that said ‘she seriously does want you to come… If you don’t come, I won’t hear the end of it’. “I’d love to. I just need to go change first.”
You grabbed your script off the counter, and Harrison walked you to the door. “How long do you need?”
“Like 10 minutes?” You replied, and he nodded.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know they were coming, or that they’d invite you to dinner.” He said quietly, making you laugh.
“It’s fine, but I do have to warn you, if my parents spontaneously drop by, they don’t know who you are.” You teased.
He let out an embarrassed groan, “Let’s not talk about that.”
“See you in ten.” You sent him a wink before leaving to your own hotel room. As Harrison closed the door and turned back around, he was met with the smirking faces of his mother and sister.
“So, is there anything you want to tell us?” Phil asked.
“We were rehearsing. That’s all.” Harrison insisted, going through the wardrobe to find some clothes to change into for dinner.
“Huh,” Charlotte trailed off, crossing her arms. “So, you wearing sparkly lip gloss that matches Y/N’s is a coincidence?”
“It’s a kiss scene tomorrow. We rehearsed the lines and the kisses, too.” He explained. With a pair of jeans, a clean shirt, and his red letterman jacket in hand, he made his way to the bathroom.
“Oh, multiple kisses.” She teased, making him roll his eyes.
“She has a boyfriend!” Harrison ended the conversation, closing the door to the bathroom.
Ten minutes later, you returned back to Harrison’s room, and the four of you left, making your way to an Italian restaurant nearby. You and Harrison shared anecdotes about filming so far, keeping spoilers to a minimum until the server came with your food.
“We got in so much trouble from the makeup and hair department.” You laughed as Harrison finished telling them of how you two went on the playground last week, much to the chagrin of the crew.
“It was worth it.” He added.
“Who would’ve known you’d play a Netflix prince?” Charlotte asked teasingly, but it was clear she was still proud of his achievements.
“Look at that face. He couldn’t play anything but a prince.” You joked, and he smiled smugly.
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” He stated.
“Phil, I have to say, I’ve never met someone more well suited to play a well-mannered prince.” You told her, playfully pinching Harrison’s cheek beside you.
“I remember when there was a time he was revolted at the idea of playing a prince.” Phil said, her lips growing into a smirk, and Harrison knew exactly what that meant.
“Mum, no—“ He started, but you just shushed him, wanting to hear whatever embarrassing story was about to be told.
“He watched a single Batman movie growing up— and not even a good one at that, and decided he simply had to be Batman.” She explained. “Then the Christopher Nolan ones came out, and there was no stopping him.”
“Every kid wants to be a superhero, and Batman is simply the best one.” He said as if it was obvious.
“I didn’t know you had a Batman phase.” You teased.
“Phase? He still has posters and comic books and dolls.” Charlotte added.
“Action figures.” He corrected her, making you laugh at the humor of it all.
“You know, honestly, I think I still have Catwoman action figures.” You admitted, trying to make him feel better, and Phil’s eyes lit up as she remembered another story.
“I cleaned your room a couple weeks ago, Harrison, and I was surprised to see you still Anne Hathaway as Catwoman posters.”
“Do we really have to talk about that? Does this torture not end?” He groaned.
“Fine. That’s enough for tonight.” Phil let out a defeated sigh, clearly enjoying herself.
“Y/N, if you want the really embarrassing stories, you’ve got to talk to Tom. He’s told me embarrassing Harrison stories that I can’t say in front of mum.” Charlotte laughed, and Harrison’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head at his sister’s words.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” You smiled coyly.
“Sometimes, I wonder if he forgets that I know just as much embarrassing shit that he did growing up, too.” Harrison stated, shaking his head.
The night went on with minimal embarrassment on Harrison’s end. After Phil and Charlotte went back to their hotel, you and Harrison started the walk back to your own hotel. As you walked, your hands would brush against each other’s every so often, but neither of you made any move to take it further.
“Darci’s going to be so jealous in the morning.” You said, making him laugh a little.
“Why’s that?”
“That’s her favorite restaurant in town. Plus, I just got a free meal.” You laughed. A visible shiver coursed through you as the chilly night air picked up.
“Are you cold?” Harrison asked, already taking off his letterman’s jacket.
“Thank you.” You replied, taking his offer of warmth. Your short sleeves did nothing to shield you from the cold, but he had at least been prepared enough with long sleeves. “Are you sure you won’t get chilly?”
“I’ll be fine.” He reassured you.
“I had a really nice time tonight. I’m glad your mum invited me.” You admitted happily.
“Me, too. Apart from all of the embarrassment I just went through, I enjoyed tonight.”
“I never knew you had a secret Batman fanboy side.”
“I never knew you had a secret Catwoman fangirl side.” He countered with a smile.
“Guess that means we make a good team, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess it does.”
As you smiled at him, completely content under the moonlight, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you right then, to taste the sweetness of your strawberry lip gloss again. The last bit of your walk was filled with you two arguing over Batwoman and Catwoman, two things that neither of you had ever realized you had in common before.
Harrison’s wish finally came true the next day, as you two ran through the kiss scene multiple times. It was strange at first for him, because his sister and mother were intently watching, proud to see him in action, even if it was just a kiss scene over and over again. But, with you there, he grew more and more comfortable with each take.
As a few more weeks passed by, Harrison thought that perhaps you and Davey had officially ended things, but then he heard through Darci that you had magically worked it out. Whatever magic it was, he was upset about it, and he found himself increasingly irritated at the mention of Davey.
“Ooh, we finally get to meet the Davey tonight?” Darci asked as the five of you enjoyed lunch in between shots. It had been two weeks Harrison’s mother and sister visited, and now Davey was coming, much to Harrison chagrin.
“He’s only here for two days.” You explained, taking a bite of your sandwich.
“Ah, so you’ll be very busy, then.” McKell teased, suggestively nudging your side with his elbow. You brushed off his comment with a laugh, avoiding Harrison’s eyes.
“We should get him to do that calzone challenge with us.” Jojo said to Harrison. Although Jojo and McKell had been rather supportive of Harrison’s interest in you at the beginning, they seemed to forget about it most of the time now— for which he was actually kind of grateful.
The conversation couldn’t go any further as the director came into the room, holding the script in his hands. The look on his face told all of you that something was up. He looked between you and Harrison before speaking, “Change of plans for tomorrow. Eileen isn’t feeling well, so we’ll film Bea and Leo’s scene tomorrow instead of her scenes.”
“But tomorrow was supposed to be—“ You started, but cut yourself short, realizing there was no point in arguing. Schedules, plans, things all change, and this was just part of the job. “Never mind.”
“Well, tomorrow will be interesting.” Darci said quietly, voicing what was on everybody’s minds.
The director left with a silent nod, and the room fell silent for a moment. You and Harrison wouldn’t dare to look at each other, both of you feeling awkward suddenly. Making out with Harrison multiple times, especially with your boyfriend there, was not something either of you particularly enjoyed the thought of.
Having to film no more scenes today, Harrison went back to the hotel with Jojo and McKell. He didn’t end up seeing you for the rest of the day, but he was okay with that as he wanted to go as long as he could without meeting Davey. The director had taken some pity on the two of you, asking you to come in later in the morning instead of at 6 AM like usual.
Harrison made his way down to the hotel gym, wanting to utilize his newfound free time. Normally, he’d get his daily workout in after filming, but he didn’t see a reason to not get an early start today. He didn’t expect anyone to be up this early, but as he got closer to the gym, he could hear a voice coming from inside the room, the door cracked just slightly.
“Love, I promise I’ll be back in two days.” The stranger paused before continuing, “You know I’m only here for business, nothing else.”
Curious and trying to decide if he should even enter the room, Harrison snuck a quick glance through the crack in the doorway. He felt his blood run cold as he immediately recognized the guy sitting on the weight bench. Afterall, Harrison had looked at your social media enough to recognize your olive-skinned boyfriend, Davey.
“Bit early for you, isn’t it?” Harrison nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of your voice from down the hall. He heard Davey mumbled something on the other side of the door, probably having heard your voice too.
“Yeah, but I just figured I’d start my pull-ups early today.” He replied before opening the door for you, acting like he had no clue that Davey had been in there.
“Hello, gorgeous.” Davey said to you, completely ignoring Harrison. He stood from his spot at the weight bench to wrap his arms around your waist and kiss you possessively.
“Davey, this is Harrison, he plays Leo. Harrison, this is Davey.” You introduced the two guys.
Davey looked Harrison up and down with his dark brown eyes and seemed to stand straighter, even though the blond was inches taller. Harrison was the first to step forward and politely outstretch a hand to the raven-haired guy before him. With a tight smile, Davey shook his hand, “Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise.”
Davey turned back to you, “Spot me?”
“Actually, I wanted to-” Your eyes drifted over to the treadmill as Harrison got in position to start his pull-ups at the bar. Davey looked at you expectantly, and you nodded, silently agreeing to stand there and spot Davey while he bench pressed.
Slipping on his headphones and turning on some music, Harrison began his workout. He played his music loud enough to block out your conversations with Davey. Not only was it none of his business, but god, Harrison really hated everything about him already. Hearing silence between you and Davey when his song changed, Harrison spared a glance over towards you. He was surprised when he found your eyes trained on him or, rather, trained on his abdomen that seemed to stick out from his tight white shirt. Still unaware of his eyes on you, your own eyes trailed up to his arms, watching as they flexed with each pull-up. Feeling flustered by your fixed gaze, Harrison faltered a little, and your eyes immediately darted back to Davey in front of you. Harrison couldn’t help the proud smile that ghosted his lips as he continued— you were checking him out.
Harrison finished his workout and decided to get cleaned up before heading to set in half an hour, leaving you and Davey in the gym. When he left, he was surprised that you were still spotting Davey, getting no work out in like you had planned. The whole time he was getting cleaned up (and brushing his teeth repeatedly to ensure he had good breath), he just kept picturing your staring in his head. He had worked very hard to get his body in this shape, and he was very proud of himself too, but he was even prouder that you’d clearly taken notice. If anything, it almost excited him that they’d be filming this scene today. There were a few times in this episode specifically in which Leo is shirtless, but none of those scenes had been filmed— and if this scene was going to be anything like it was scripted to be, then you’d definitely get a better show than in the hotel gym.
He didn’t see you again until the two of you were on set, in full costume and makeup. He had a loose shirt on, but underneath it, his chest had been painted with blues and purples to make convincing bruises. As he went to his mark, Leo’s makeshift bed on the floor of the cellar, Harrison spotted Davey across the set, looking bored and unhappy. His blue eyes drifted over to you next, and he refrained himself from smirking as he noticed your makeup artist applying chapstick to your lips.
While you gathered your prop lantern and the lights dimmed around you all, Harrison made himself comfortable under the ragged blankets. The director called out “Action!” and Harrison closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep as he waited for you to come into the shot. Hearing your footsteps, Harrison stirred, blinking his eyes open.
“Bea, is everything alright?” He asked, looking up at you as you stood over him.
“Let me see your body.” You said definitively.
“Beatrice—” He started, but you cut him off.
“Show me, Leo. I want to see it.” At your words, Harrison shifted slowly, moving as if in pain. He pulled the blankets down and went to roll up his shirt. “Take your top off.”
He paused, looking at you questioningly with a hint of fear in his eyes. Groaning a little, Harrison sat up and removed his shirt. He looked at you expectantly, and you set aside the lantern before kneeling on the blankets beside him. Your hand drifted over the painted bruise tentatively, ghosting over the same abs that you had been studying just hours earlier. Harrison waited for you to deliver your next line, knowing he was scripted to kiss you after it. It felt like ages that he was waiting for you, wanting nothing more than to kiss you right now. His mind went blank as your eyes found his and you leaned in to kiss him.
It was unscripted, and he was surprised, but he didn’t let his surprise stop him from immediately kissing you back. Your chapstick tasted of strawberries, just as it had the last time the two of you had a kissing scene, and he swore he was in love with the taste of it. He expected to hear the director yell cut, to hear him question why you suddenly improvised, but when nothing came, he just continued to kiss you. You pulled back, a shy smile on your face, “I don’t want you to hide your body from me anymore. It’s too nice to be hidden.”
His heart leapt as he leaned forward to catch your lips once more, this time scripted. His hands shuffled to your waist, pulling you down to lay beside him as he rolled onto his side, his chest leaning over yours. Your fingers tangled into his hair, and he savored the feeling.
You pulled back again, whispering up to him, “No more hiding.”
“No more hiding.” He reaffirmed. As he continued to kiss you, his hands sensually wandered down your back, keeping you as close to him as possible. Part of him wanted to pause the intimate scene and pinch himself, just to make sure it was really happening, but he was worried if he stopped kissing you now that he’d never get the opportunity to kiss you like this again.
“Cut!” The director called, and Harrison reluctantly pulled away from you. He could’ve sworn a small frown passed your lips as he looked down at you, not having shifted off of you yet.
“Spearmint— my favorite.” You teased quietly, as if it was only for the two of you to hear. As you laughed underneath him, Harrison couldn’t help but wonder what his younger self would think if he knew he’d one day get to make out with Y/N Y/L/N. Even if it was just for the show, it was a sight that he’d always want to remember.
“I’ve always enjoyed the taste of strawberries.” He replied softly, rolling away from you.
The director ran you two through a couple pointers for the scene, and, to Harrison’s surprise, he even suggested Bea kissing Leo first, just like you had improvised. You reasoned that you forgot your line momentarily, but something about the way you kissed Harrison made him feel like that wasn’t the case; no, it seemed like you’d truly wanted to kiss him.
After running through the scene a few more times, the director was satisfied. While you stayed behind on set to film more scenes, Harrison returned to his hotel room. Just as he was searching his toiletry bag for some much-needed chapstick, his phone began to ring with a Facetime call. Seeing Harry’s contact photo light up on his screen, he accepted and set his phone aside momentarily. He didn’t need to wonder what Harry (and most likely Tom, Tuwaine and maybe even Sam) were calling about— he had made the dire mistake of telling his easily-excited best friends about today’s scene.
“Why are we looking at your ceiling?” Harry asked almost immediately.
“I’m, uh, looking for lip balm.” Harrison admitted quietly and smiled to himself when he found some. He quickly put it on and then grabbed his phone, heading to his bed where he could comfortably talk to his friends.
As expected, his friends let out an incoherent chorus of excitement. Sam seemed to calm down enough first to ask (more like, shout through the phone), “How was it?”
“Does she really kiss with tongue? Remember Jack used to say-” Tom started, and Harrison scoffed, hearing the name of one of their old classmates who swears he had a summer fling with you once.
“I still don’t believe him, but no, not today at least.” Harrison was honestly a bit embarrassed to admit it. You were in a relationship… with a possibly cheating moron, but still. It just didn’t feel right to talk about you in that way.
“Not today? So there could be another time!” Tuwaine shouted encouragingly.
“Is she still with that prick?” Tom asked.
“Yes, but,” Harrison paused, and they all looked at him expectantly, waiting for elaboration, “I think he might be cheating on her.”
“What makes you say that?” Harry questioned. “Mate, just because you fancy her doesn’t mean her boyfriend’s a cheater.”
“No, I mean I heard him on the phone, and he said he was in Liverpool for business, not for his girlfriend.” He reasoned, “I’m just very suspicious of him.”
“You should tell her if you think he is.” Sam stated, “If he isn’t, then, oh no, you’re on bad terms with her boyfriend, who probably already hates you after today. If he is, well, she’d hate you if she finds out you kept it from her.”
Harrison let out a small sigh as the others nodded. “I don’t know. It’s not my place. Besides, she said something a few weeks about him wanting an open relationship. Maybe it’s that?”
“Okay, look, forget I asked about him.” Tom said, shaking his head, while the others looked at Harrison skeptically through the phone, “How was it to finally have your drama school dreams fulfilled?”
“Fucking heaven.” Harrison admitted with a laugh.
For the next week, Harrison resisted the urge to tell you about Davey. He wanted to, he really did, but whenever he’d finally be alone with you and mentally prepare himself for the conversation, you would always just seem so happy and content. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb your happiness, especially when it was Harrison making you happy. After Davey left, it’s like something changed within you, and Harrison had no clue what it was, but he enjoyed it.
‘You have to tell her.’ Harrison read over his most recent text from Tom again. He let out a small sigh, trying to get the courage to tell you as you sat across from him at the booth.
It was Saturday, and you two, along with Darci, Jojo, and McKell, had made your way to a club, wanting to celebrate another week down. With only two episodes left to film, you all knew your time together was starting to run low. You were all a few drinks in by now, happily buzzed. Jojo and McKell were off somewhere, probably attempting to be each other’s wingmen. Darci was telling you a story so wild that Harrison wondered if it was even true. He finished the rest of his drink and shuffled out of the booth.
“I’m going to grab another drink.” Harrison said to you two, and, without waiting for a response, he left. He made no move to flag down the bartender, leaning against an empty spot in the bar. Pulling on the collar of his blue shirt, he started to feel hot, unsure if he could handle this.
“What happened to getting another drink?” You asked him, stepping up beside him.
“Where’s Darci?” He replied, not wanting to answer your question.
“Found a friend in the crowd.” You laughed and turned to flag down the bartender. You ordered a round of shots, to Harrison’s surprise.
“Are you good?” He asked skeptically.
“Yeah,” You nodded, but with how your eyes were glazed over the alcohol and another unreadable emotion, Harrison didn’t quite believe you. Playfully, you nudged him, “I should ask you the same thing. You’re the one who’s been moping all night for god knows why.”
“I haven’t been moping.” He argued as a tray of four shots was placed in front of you two. You handed one to him and took one for yourself.
“Cheers to another week done.” You clinked your shot glass against his before both of you downed them.
As you went to grab your second shot, Harrison reached a hand and stopped you. Concerned, he asked, “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Davey and I broke up— for good this time.” You admitted, and his hold on your wrist softened while he looked at you pitifully. “He told me when he was here that he went through with his ‘open relationship’ plan, even though I never agreed to it, so he’s been basically cheating on me since I left for this job. Then tonight, he drunkenly texts me, and I know it’s just a booty call. He’s done it for years, but now I actually see it for what it is. So now, my shitty boyfriend is gone, I’m finally single, and my only plans for tonight is to get properly drunk. Maybe even hookup with a stranger— god knows it’s been a while since I had decent sex.” Harrison was speechless, and you continued, a smile finding its way to your face at the end of your venting. “Dance with me after this shot?”
“Do I have a choice?” He asked playfully, feeling your mood lighten once more. You winked at him, handing him a full shot glass. He made a mental note to keep a close eye on you and to keep you from drinking anymore.
After you both drank back the burning liquid, you grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the dancefloor. Harrison had felt the alcohol that was flooding his system earlier, but the colored lights, pounding music, and countless bodies around him seemed to make the alcohol hit him harder. There was a weight off his shoulders, knowing you were actually single as you danced with him, and yet he still felt strange about his current state with you— were you truly into him or was he just the first guy you could drunkenly hook up with?
You turned to face him, a small frown on your face, “Haz, you’re being a bit of a killjoy.”
It was then that he realized, while you were fully grinding on his body, he was relatively motionless. Your hands found his, and you planted one on your hip and another on the small of your back, low enough though that it teetered being on your ass. You leaned in closer to him, letting him get a whiff of your perfume. While one of your hands trailed along the hem of his shirt, daring to even dip below his shirt, the other traced through his hair.
As you planted a kiss on Harrison’s neck, not caring at all for the dancing bodies around you, you heard him let out a strangled groan of your name. Your nails light scratched over the deep V in his hips, hooking onto where his jeans met the line.
“Should we get out of here?” You asked Harrison, your lips right next to his ear as your voice dripped with seduction. He felt his heart flip with intoxicating excitement before he was immediately reminded of the gravity of the situation. You went to kiss him, but he moved back quickly, stepping out of your reach. Pouting, you asked, “Do you not want me? After all this time?”
“No, I do.” Harrison insisted. “I want you, but not like this, not when you’re drunk. You’re not in the right headspace for this. I don’t want to be your drunken rebound.”
“How can you be a rebound when it’s always been you?”
Harrison sighed. Oh, how much he’d love to hear that from you— sober. He was saved from having to reply when Darci, McKell, and Jojo found you two. They looked at the two of you skeptically, but Harrison just shook his head.
“I’m going to take Y/N back to the hotel.” He said as he stepped closer to the group so that they could hear him over the music.
“We’ll come, too.” Jojo insisted, even though, with his words slurred and his eyes glazed over, he was thoroughly drunk, too.
“Where did Y/N go?” McKell asked, realizing your sudden absence.
“Oh god,” Harrison muttered, and the four of them dispersed in the crowd to find you, tripping over the other sweaty bodies. Darci found you first, unable to stop you from having a couple more shots.
“No, no, you’re done.” She argued with you. You reached for the last shot that she had taken from you, but, in your intoxicated state, you easily lost your balance. Harrison quickly wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you up.
“I don’t think she can walk.” Jojo commented.
“What gave that away?” McKell asked sarcastically.
“Come on, let’s get you home.” With a small sigh, Harrison, as the most sober of the group (though he still felt fairly tipsy), proceeded to lead you out of the club.
Darci hailed a cab for the five of you, and while it was an illegally tight fit, you all made it work. You leaned on Harrison as he was pressed right up against you. On your other side sat Jojo. You mumbled softly to Harrison, one of your hands falling onto his knee, “Do you remember that year when they put up mistletoe at school?”
“Where are you going with this?” He asked you softly.
“I saw you kiss Vivian at the one outside of the gym, and I couldn’t walk in that area for three months without thinking of you. I was so jealous of her, and you just looked like such a good kisser, which I’m happy to report you are.”
“Babes, maybe stop with the drunk talking.” Darci said, because all of you could tell this was stuff sober you would never say.
Harrison looked at you in surprise— he barely even remembered when Vivian dragged him under the mistletoe, so the fact that you remembered and were jealous? And you said he was a good kisser, too. He felt a glimmer of pride overcome him.
“Ask me tomorrow, it’s the truth.” You shuffled in your seat, laying your head against Jojo’s shoulder, “Jojo, wanna know a secret?”
“Y/N, maybe-” Darci started, but Jojo cut her off.
“No, go on, Y/N.” He laughed, wanting to hear your drunk thoughts.
“Do you think I’d make a good Catwoman?” You asked, words slurring together as you grew tired.
“Catwoman? Like Anne Hathaway?” He questioned, and you hummed a ‘yes’. “Yeah, you’d make a good Catwoman.”
“Good. Tell Haz he needs to my Batman then.” Your voice was quiet, as if it was something just meant for the two of you to hear, but your voice wasn’t nearly as soft as you had thought it was, meaning Harrison and the rest of your friends were truly aware of your little drunken secret
“Okay, I’ll tell him.” Jojo reassured you, a shit-eating grin on his face as he glanced over your head to look at the embarrassed Harrison.
The rest of the car ride was silent, and Harrison helped you out of your seat. With the help of the others, he got you safely inside your hotel room. Everyone retreated to their own rooms, except for Harrison who stayed with you. He laid you down on your bed and went searching for your pajamas, which to his luck were stowed underneath your pillow.
“Can you change or—?” Harrison asked, holding out the clothes to you
“I’ve got it, though I wouldn’t mind you helping.” You said with a wink. As you started to change out of your club clothes, Harrison turned away from you and focused on getting out some much-needed pain reliever and a glass of water for you to have in the morning. He heard you shuffle on the bed behind him before you let out a small huff, “Hazzy, can you come here?”
Hazzy— that was a new nickname. To his surprise, you were already tucked up in bed, your previously worn clothes scattered on the floor around you. He set the water and meds on your nightstand before kneeling to your level, “What’s wrong, love?”
“Do you know why Davey wasn’t my first love?” You asked quietly, your eyes beginning to droop with sleep. You reached a hand out to tentatively run your fingers over his cheek before you cupped it, smiling softly at him.
He had a hunch, but he played along anyway, wanting to hear you say it, in case he never heard it again. “Why?”
“Because you were.” Your voice was so quiet that he barely heard you, but he was so glad that he did. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, and you let your hand fall from his face.
“Get some sleep. We can talk in the morning.”
“Can you stay tonight? Please?”
“Of course, love.” Harrison stood to his full height, and when he looked at you again, you were already asleep. He softly readjusted the blankets on your bed to make sure you were warm enough, before he made his way over to the couch. Grabbing a throw blanket off the back of the couch, he settled into his bed for the night. Just like every other night lately, he drifted off thinking of you, but this time, there was an excited flutter in his heart.
The next day, Harrison woke up to you letting out a groan, loudly asking, “Why the fuck is it so bright in here?”
He slowly sat up from the couch to check on you. A smile crossed his face as you took the pain meds he’d left out and downed the glass of water. Your eyes seemed to bulge out of your head when you noticed his presence in the room. Laughing, he greeted you, “Good morning, sunshine.”
“Please tell me you miraculously don’t remember anything I said last night because I remember, and I don’t want to.” You said, pulling your knees up to your chest.
“Sorry to disappoint then.” He sent you a sympathetic smile.
With a sigh, you patted the spot beside you on your bed. Wordlessly, Harrison got up from the couch and came to sit beside you on the bed. He expected you to say something, but when you were silent, seemingly caught up in your thoughts, he spoke up, “Did you mean it? When you said I was your first love?”
“Yes.” There was no hesitation in your reply, and you turned to finally meet his eye, “It was a very intense schoolgirl crush, hence why I hated Vivian after that mistletoe incident, but seeing you again just made me realize that it was more than just a crush. I’ve regretted saying no to you all those years ago ever since you came back into my life.”
“Well, I thought I was over my crush on you, but turns out, there are just some things time can’t change.”
A comfortable silence overfell you two again before you finally spoke up with the words that had been on your mind for weeks, “I think I’m in love with you.”
“I think I’m in love with you, too.” Harrison sealed his words by leaning in to kiss you.
With no script to follow now, he felt fireworks as you kissed him back. One of your hands drifted to the back of his neck, silently urging him to continue kissing you. His hands snaked around your waist before he shifted to lay on his back, rolling you on top of him. You deepened the kiss, your tongue finding its way into his mouth. He moaned at first, fully enjoying himself, before his lips curved into a smile, and he started to laugh against your lips.
“What’s so funny?” You asked, pulling away from his lips. His hands wandered from your hips up to where your own hands were resting on his chest, and he casually intertwined your fingers.
“It’s nothing.” He said in an attempt to play it off, but the smile on his face told you that whatever he was thinking was hilarious to him. “You remember Jack Evans? He told everyone that you were the best french kisser in school, and, well, he’s not wrong.”
You let out a scoff before giggling to yourself, “First of all, how many girls have you french kissed from drama school and should I be jealous? Second of all, Jack was an ass who couldn’t kiss for shit, but I’ll take it as a compliment that he told everyone that.” You leaned down until your lips were just barely touching, “And thirdly, do you want to keep talking about drama school, or do you want me to keep kissing you?”
“You don’t need to be jealous, but I kinda like that you are.” He replied with a cheeky smile. “And you’re right. He was an ass.”
“And for the last one?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him.
Harrison pretended to think about it for a second before he let go of your hand to cup your cheek, bringing your lips crashing back down to his.
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andreafmn · 3 years
Text
Running In Circles - Chapter 1
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Word Count: 3,196
Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, George Foyet, Multiple Unsubs and Victims
Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?
*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others' story line.
Chapter: 1/?
Chapter Description: (Y/N) remebers her first day in the job and recounts all the cases and events that led to the downfall of George Foyet. 
A/N: I decided to say fuck the anxiety of posting and put up my Aaron fanfiction. It’s been gathering dust in my documents folder and I love writing too much to keep it to myself. I’m not sure how many chapters this will have but there’s already 8 chapters all finished up. Soon I’ll be posting ff of all the fanfictions I enjoy also! If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.
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Chapter 1
“Good morning, BAU!” I said as I walked through the doors of the elevator and entered the bullpen. I could still remember how it felt the first time I got here.
I walked out of the elevator and made my way to the first office on the left. I was to meet
SSA Aaron Hotchner for an interview to join the BAU. My hands were shaking, and my body was getting warmer by the second. But I remembered my father’s encouraging words. “You’re gonna do great, mia bella.”
Not only was I extremely young, but I also had a lot to live up to. Being the daughter of SSA David Stephen Rossi was no easy task. He was an amazing agent, mentor, and father. He always pushed me to be the best at everything I did. When I started high school, I decided to get a head start on my college studies and applied to dual enrollment. When I graduated I did so with a Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Then, I worked my way to a Master’s in Psychology and Social Work, and a Doctorate in Criminal Justice. At the same time, my father trained me as a profiler. All my life I knew I wanted to be in the FBI, just like him. I was always impressed at all he did and wanted to be just like my hero. The day I told him I had been recruited by the FBI and was set to work in the BAU he said it had been the greatest day of his life.
Now my shaking hand raised to softly knock on the door before me.
“Come in,” someone said from inside. The door softly creaked as I opened and was met by a tall man with dark hair and a shorter blonde woman. “Agent Rossi, welcome.”
“Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.” I smiled and shook Aaron Hotchner’s and Erin Strauss’ hands.
“It’s an honor to meet you, Agent Rossi,” Erin smiled. “Have to say, you have a very impressive curriculum and your disinvolvement in our past interviews and tests have been outstanding.”
I smiled and turned the bracelet on my wrist for comfort.
“I must concur with Chief Strauss,” said Hotch. “I believe you will be a great addition to the BAU team.”
After sharing a few pleasantries and being handed my badge and gun, I was following Hotch to the briefing room to meet the rest of the team. Formally, at least. I had heard everything about them when I spoke with my father. He left no detail out.
“Morning, everyone,” Hotchner started. “I called you all in early today so you could meet the newest addition to the team. This is Agent (y/n) Rossi.”
To the sound of my name most of the mouths in the room dropped.
“Rossi, as in David Rossi?” The slender, messy haired agent said. I could only assume that was Spencer Reid. As my father had described him, a curly mess dressed in vests.
I nodded.
“Rossi, you didn’t tell us you had such a beautiful daughter.” That would be Derek Morgan. The hottie Casanova with a silver tongue.
“I hadn’t?” My father questioned and smirked, knowing full well the answer.
“Well, he’s talked a lot about all of you,” I smiled.
“All good things I hope,” Emily smiled.
“Great things,” I returned the smile. “I could probably make out who is who by the things he’s told me.”
“Go ahead,” Aaron challenged.
“Alright,” I cleared my throat and started going around the table. “Curly hair, vests, analyzing everything I’ve done and said since I walked in… you’re Spencer Reid.”
He smiled brightly.
“Tall, dark, handsome, and a silver tongue. Plus, you checked me out as soon as the doors of the elevator opened… Derek Morgan.”
He smirked.
“Calm, cool, and collected. Quiet but present, inspecting my presence here… you’re Emily Prentiss.”
“She’s good,” Emily muttered to Morgan beside her. I continued.
“And last but not least, bright colors, fun accessories,” I said looking at Garcia. “Even though you’re smiling, you’re not sure about me yet because you don’t like change and are probably going to dig up everything you can on me as soon as you can… Penelope Garcia.”
She stiffened and Derek chuckled.
“Don’t worry, I get it. I do not like change that much either. And here,” I reached my hand into my bag to pull out a rather thick folder. “I’ll save you the work. Background check, complete internet history, social medias, and all the whatnots you would need to build a very extensive profile.”
“Oh, thank you,” she reached out her hand and grabbed the folder, smiling at the floor.
“And well, I already know Agent Hotchner and my father, so they don’t need much of an introduction.”
“No, but you do,” my father said joining my side. “Tell them a bit about yourself.”
“Well, I have a bachelor, two masters, and a doctorate degree: I’m 23, I’m Rossi’s daughter…” In the middle of my thought process dad cut in.
“She’s beautiful, she’s intelligent, and she’s the one I call when I’m stuck on a case.” I smiled.
“She also passed every test with flying colors,” Aaron added. “And her profiling skills are exceptional.”
“Thank you,” I blushed. “I think it runs in my blood.”
“Well, welcome to the team,” Aaron continued. “Let’s get to work.”
That was almost three years ago. A couple of days after, I met JJ who had visited with her newborn son Henry.
In very little time I had grown attached to this family. I was most of the time partnered with Spence and we developed an amazing bond. It did help that I loved playing chess and we could have highly erudite talks. Also, I very much enjoyed his over sharing of facts. But really, I was close to them all. On my spare time I was found watching movies with Derek and Penny, perusing book shops with Reid, having girl nights with JJ, Penny, and Emily, or sipping on top grade scotch while finishing paperwork with Hotch.
Spending time with Hotch was my favorite pastime of all.
I realized I had developed feelings for him the day he was captured by Foyet and left at the hospital. Receiving the call from Emily that she had found blood at his apartment literally knocked the air out of my lungs. Reid could tell that my reaction would not have been the same where it had been any of the other members. For some time, he had deduced my attraction to our unit chief. Once we had captured Patrick Meyers and Reid had been sent off to a hospital, we sped off to St. Sebastian Hospital. I could feel my heartbeat going faster and faster as I felt time slipping by. More than once I had asked Morgan to go faster and with sorry eyes, he told me he was going as fast as he could.
Seeing Hotch on a hospital bed, greatly hurt, broke me. I knew everyone on the team, just like Reid, had figured it out. I was the first one in when the doctor announced he was waking up. His eyes fluttered open as JJ, the last one to enter, made it in.
“Where am I?” He groggily asked.
“In the hospital,” dad answered.
My eyes could not leave his face, even as all I wanted was to imagine him in a different state. Derek told him how he made it to the hospital and Emily asked Hotch what had happened. Closing his eyes, Hotch explained step by step how everything had gone down. Upon more investigation, we quickly figured what Foyet had taken and, a page from his planner that held his ex-wife’s and son’s current address and a picture of them, respectively.
Once we had that information, the team knew exactly what to do. Emily and I volunteered to stay behind and update the team if anything changed. As soon as he went to sleep, we let out a locked breath. But the relief was short lived as his pulse started to get exceedingly fast.
“What happened?” The doctor asked.
“I don’t know,” I croakily muttered out. Emily put a hand on my back as I softly touched his arm.
“Agent Hotchner. Can you hear me?” The doctor called out. “Agent Hotchner?”
He finally opened his eyes and responded. “I’m okay.”  
The doctor asked us out of the room as she checked on him and Emily helped stabilize my walk as we made it out. I saw the doctor and a nurse check him as I picked the skin of the thumb of my right hand. Emily noticed and grabbed it, knowing well of my nervous ticks. The other being closing my fist hard enough to dig my nails in it.
“He’ll be okay,” she smiled. “You know he’s a fighter.”
I softly smiled at her, not knowing if she said it for me or for her to believe it too.
Once we knew Haley and Jack were safe the three of us let out a relieved sigh. Hotch squeezed the hand I had been holding as he slept, needing the reassurance of a trusted presence next to him. He asked Emily about the scene at his apartment, but she could not give him definite answers. In a moment of silence, she excused herself to go buy coffee and I took this chance to ask him what had been going through my head.
“Do you wanna talk about what happened?” I asked worry evident in my eyes.
Sighing, he responded. “I don’t know. After he stabbed me the first time, it all goes blank.”
He looked straight into my eyes and I could tell he knew more than he let on, but now was not the time to push him. He had been drained: physically, emotionally, and mentally. In that moment, Haley walked in and I let go of his hand to leave them to talk. From outside of the room, I could hear the heartbreaking moment and knowing he was in pain shattered my heart. That day had absolutely devastated us as a team, but it only made us more determined to find Foyet and end him.
But life and work went on. The whole month he was off, I spent most of my free time helping in his recovery and his healing, using the little training I had in wound treatment. The other part of my time I spent with Reid, who was also in recovery. A far less pressing injury, but an injury, nonetheless. And he was my best friend, so I could not completely abandon him.  
We were all worried about him coming back to the team with Foyet still out there, but dad reassured us he would only be more motivated. Yet the first case back, he was different. He was usually professional and understanding, now it seemed that no matter how well we worked, we would make a mistake. And when we finally tracked down the unsub and he made his way inside the house, no vest, and no gun, I knew there was something different in him. I tried to follow him inside, but dad stopped me.
“We have to trust him,” he told me. Even with those words we were all unsure of the outcome. My head was working 1,000 miles a minute coming up with different ways this could all end up in, and when I heard the gunshots, my mind only went to the darkest end. Quickly we stormed in the house and saw Hotch putting handcuffs on Darrin, and a very dead Jarvis on a recliner.  
My father spent most of his time with me reassuring me that Hotch was still the same man he had been a month before. And I spent most of my time with Hotch reassuring him that he was not alone.
At the end of most cases Emily, dad, and I sat with Hotch in his office to drink a cup of scotch and unwind after a stressful day. I stayed nights overtime often and was there on the night that Strauss had landed a surprise visit to his office. The next day he became hyper focused on Derek’s work, which later he revealed to me the reason why. The bureau was questioning his leadership and he meant to step down as unit chief at the end of that week. This ended with Derek becoming active unit chief whilst Hotch was being investigated.
The days that followed were quite strange. We were used to taking orders from Hotch and now taking orders from Morgan was completely different. But business went on as usual. We worked on cases just as hard and solved them just as efficiently. With one case always hanging on us like a dark cloud. George Foyet. With every case we finished we knew he was still out there, which meant that Hotch was still hurting and hunting.  
But the dreaded day had caught up to us. With the last case we had been on in Hampton we knew Foyet had found Hotch. He was taunting Hotch, dangling his life in front of him. Once he had sent us that calling card, we pressed harder on our investigation, pulling at whatever string we could find.
Thankfully, JJ pulled our medication string harder when she found out about the ability to substitute prescriptions with over-the-counter meds. We worked tirelessly and strongly to shorten the investigation part of this case. We needed to catch him, fast.
“Wait a minute, guys. Foyet likes things that have meaning to him,” I said looking at the map presented in front of us. I could see that Reid knew where I was going.
“The eye of providence, the addresses in blood he wrote on the bus that led back to him,” Spence added, and I nodded.
“Maybe he’s doing the same with his name,” I said as Reid wrote down George Foyet on the board.
“Like an anagram or something,” Emily chimed. Quickly, Reid got to work on the theory crossing out and circling letters. Adding ‘The Reaper’ onto the board and utilizing it, once Hotch had pointed out Foyet gave himself that name. He kept up this process until the name Peter Rhea came to existence.
Garcia tracked down the name and quickly found an address in Arlington. We had found him, but it was just too easy.
We were waiting outside of the apartment building for too long, waiting for something, anything. Once Morgan had given his orders, the plan was set in motion. Still, something in the back of my mind kept telling me it was too easy. We stormed the empty apartment and searched for anything that would help us find his actual location. His computer was quickly deleting files, but Garcia was better. Haley’s protection unit was in trouble.
As soon as it clicked, we were on our way to the stash house. Inside the house Marshal Sam Kassmeyer was hurt, losing blood quickly. With the little he was able to tell us we knew that Haley and Jack were in danger. Sam had not told Foyet anything, but George was smart, unfortunately. He had disguised himself as a Marshal and lied to Haley to get her where he needed her. Only him had communication with her. Everyone was on edge wanting nothing more than to find this man.
In the office we heard Hotch’s conversation with Foyet. He was working hard to buy some time for us to find him but knowing George he already had a plan set in motion. He had eyes on the pair, he was with them. I could only imagine what Hotch was going through.
“Alright, Foyet has to be in control,” Derek said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “He had Haley come to him.”
“Yeah, but where would he take her?” Spencer asked. We all started thinking and speculating. There was something in the call that told Hotch where to go. That was the key.
“Reid, what did he say, exactly?” I emphasized on the last word.
“Haley’s hair looks good dark. She’s lost some weight. It must be because of all the stress you caused her. Where’s the little man? Oh, there he is now. Do you think he likes Captain America because of you? That’s your wife on the other line. Hold, please. Hi. Open the gate and I’ll drive in.” Spencer recited in a monotone voice.
“Open the gate?” My father questioned.
“It would be someplace with the biggest emotional impact for Hotch,” I said looking down to organize my thoughts.
“And Haley has access to the gate,” Derek added, and it clicked.
“Their house,” I said. “Where they lived together.”
“Of course,” Emily said. “Foyet planned this all the way to the end. It’s everything to him.”
“He wants to take over Hotch’s house, to be in control, to prove his dominance,” I finished. We knew where he was going, and I was sure Hotch knew too and was already on his way.
On the way, Hotch got a call from Foyet’s phone. It was Hayley. I heard the emotion grabbing him by the throat. We could hear the whole conversation and my heart broke when he asked Hayley the magic words.
“Tell Jack that I need him working on the case,” Hotch breathed out. One drunken night he had told me about how he had found Jack inside a storage bench in his office after he had knocked on it. The smiling kid had told his father that he was working the case with Hotch. Hotch knew what was going to happen and so did I. This was the best chance Jack had at survival.
When Hotch told Jack to hug his mom and he said I love you, I let out a loud sob and Emily grabbed my hand tightly for support. But I was not the one that need the care. Hotch did. Haley’s words would forever be engraved in my head, and in the heads of our friends.
Three gunshots rang through the line right before it cut. Then I could not hold back the tears. I knew. I just knew.
Hotch was the first one on the scene and all I thought of was that he did not have a vest or any backup, so god knows what could have happened. For the second time in a matter of months all I could ask for was that Morgan drove faster.
At the house, Morgan was the first one in and the scene that unfolded in front of us was heartbreaking. Hotch was hitting Foyet over and over, and Derek had to hold him back. He was dead. I surveyed the scene and instinctively went to Hotch’s office, Hotch following close behind. Jack had to be there. I let Hotch walk past me and watched as relief overtook him when he lifted the lid.
“I work the case, daddy,” Jack said. Unbeknownst to everything that had happened. “Just like you said.”
“You did a great job buddy,” Hotch lifted his son out of the bench.
“What happened to you, daddy?”
“I’m okay. I want you to go outside with Ms. Jareau. Ok?” The child walked to JJ and she took him out in her arms.
And Hotch let go. He silently cried and I helped him make his way to where Haley laid. I stood by the door and turned away a police officer. Morgan stood up and squeezed my shoulder as he left the room behind the officer. I stayed outside of the doorframe, listening to the sobs of a strong man.
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Chapter One.
a/n: welcome to the first chapter of wtsgd! i’m so excited for you all to read this story and for what’s to come. please please please support content creators bc we’re doing this for free and it takes up a lot of energy to put out stories. so reblog, leave feedback, and send a message to motivate and support them. happy reading everyone <3
SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 6.4k
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March 4, 2017
The trunk was filled with heavy boxes that were labeled with thick black sharpie, which didn’t seem to leave Luciana’s senses; and one too many suitcases filled with her many articles of clothing that she couldn’t get rid of—no matter how hard she tried—since she was too much of a hoarder and every piece of clothing seemed to have a lost memory in them that she tried very hard to think of, which only meant that it was worth keeping. 
A droplet of sweat leaked down the side of her face due to  her nonstop packing and heavy-lifting from her childhood room upstairs to her dad’s car in the driveway. It didn’t help that the sun was beaming down at her with every move like she was on center stage, in front of the spotlight, but it made much more sense for the sun to do that because that’s where she belonged: on stage. 
Moving to Brooklyn, New York from Cambridge, Massachusetts during, what felt like, the coldest but the sunniest day of March wasn’t the smartest move—to be fair, Luciana was never one to make a smart move, anyways—but it was one that needed to be done. Plus, all the lifting seemed to have warmed her up. 
Her destination, or now, home, in New York was one that she’d been anticipating for a while now. She had auditioned for the role as Kim in Miss Saigon on Broadway in November, and she’d gotten a callback in January for the role as the second Kim, meaning she would be on rotation to perform every week or two weeks, so the main Kim could rest. But she would still have to go to rehearsals and be on the side of the stage watching the show just in case she needed to jump in at the last minute. 
It wasn’t her ideal way of playing the main lead, but nonetheless, she was grateful for the opportunity, and she would take any chance that was thrown at her to not only take another step towards her dream, but also another learning opportunity to make her a better actress. 
Little Luci would’ve been so proud of the present Luci because it’d been her dream ever since she was younger, to be on stage and eventually, be on the big screen. Although she was far from completing her dream of being a face in Hollywood, this was a step that would take her to where she wanted to be in the future, and for that, she was proud of herself. 
As a child, Luci had been in various commercials; from being the kid that played with slime and had no lines but to just put on a big smile while the sticky substance ran through her small hands, to being the daughter in a car commercial with one line that said “Are we there yet?” with a groan and a face of exhaustion as if she were the one driving the car. She hoped that these commercials would have someone recognize her talent, to cast her as a Disney star, but that would require moving to California, which her parents were wary of. 
The commercials stopped when she reached middle school. Her early adolescent years consisted of an abundance of attitude and mood swings; Luci was a very tough and determined kid. Her love for acting had grown into a big balloon that was let go and on its way into the galaxy where no one could reach it—where no one could mess with her achieving her dream. 
She would always stand in front of her white wooden framed mirror—with delicately painted colorful flowers around the border—reciting lines that she heard from a television series or the films that she watched, and she would write them down in her blue notebook. Sometimes, her parents would let her search the script up if it was available online. But oftentimes, she would test and challenge her memorization, and listen to it by ear; testing her mind, and eventually, her memorization skills were immaculate by the age of eleven. 
It was perfect timing because by the time she was in middle school, she was able to snatch the roles she wanted when her school’s drama department held school plays. Her family thought that she would start to hate being on stage since school plays always ran until late evening, but being part of the productions had only enhanced her love for her talent, and it only prepared her for a quarter of what her future may look like. 
All in all, from a very young age, she always knew that she wanted to become an actress. The spotlight or the center of the camera was where she always craved to be. 
And she was finally making that dream come true. 
A black Toyota Camry pulled into the space behind the car that was filled with her belongings. Ren and Beatrice, Luci’s lovely parents, both get out of the car with a pink box of donuts—a snack for the road and for when she gets to her new apartment. 
“Ready, Lucky?” Beatrice asked, rubbing her daughter’s back. She was quite bummed to see Luci leave her childhood home, but she’s proud to see Lucky Luci chase her dreams. She was, after all, twenty-five and was bound to move out at some point, but to see it actually happen made Beatrice quite emotional. 
“Ma, please, don’t cry…” Luci frowned as Beatrice pressed her fingertips to the corners of her eyes. She wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulder, comforting her. “You’re all coming to New York in a month, right? To watch me on stage?” Luci asked, reassuring herself that she would see her family in a different state to rescue her from her loneliness. 
Luci was an independent woman. She could do tasks by herself, go places alone, and she wouldn’t have a problem with it; she enjoyed the company of herself. But to know that at some point she might be alone—that everyone had left her behind or forgotten about her—was what scared her. She needed to know that the people who loved her unconditionally wouldn’t forget about her. 
“Of course we’re going!” Ren exclaimed with a smile that Luci was going to miss seeing everyday. “We can’t miss our baby on the Broadway stage. If we could, we’d go to every damn show that you’re in, but that would be a lot of gas, no?” 
She chuckled, nodding her head. She felt tears pricking her eyes at how supportive her parents were—they’ve always been. If she could, she would take them with her to New York, but her one bedroom apartment and their work said otherwise. 
“Now, Lucky, don’t cry.” It was Beatrice’s turn to comfort her daughter. Like any parent, when they see their child cry, it breaks their heart and they cry too. “We’re gonna see you real soon. You can always come back anytime you want. We’re just a phone call away and we’ll pick you up,” Beatrice said between sniffles. The mother and daughter were embracing so tenderly and comfortingly—enjoying every last moment together until they got to see each other again. 
“Jeez, you’re both the same—always crying!” Ren interrupted, making the two women laugh; and he was glad they found what he said amusing because he couldn’t handle the sad moment. “C’mon here, my Lulu.” Luci settled into her father’s arms, hugging him tightly. She’s always been her dad’s girl, despite having a close relationship with her mother, her relationship with her father was something that felt like home; he always knew what to say and when to say it. It helped that she was the female version of him. “You’re gonna be the best star out there, I’m sure of it. Now, I want you to have fun, alright? The fame, the fortune, the big city…it doesn’t amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life” He comfortingly rubbed Luci’s back, holding her in a warm and tight squeeze. 
Luci smiled at her father’s words. She was always a bit hard on herself when she would mess up or forget a line or a movement that correlates to a specific line in her script. When she was younger, she would beat herself up for a sliver of a moment; she would cry into her pillow—sobs loud enough that they were heard from downstairs. Luci would think that she wouldn’t become a well-known actress just because of the minor forgetfulness her mind had presented. But Ren would gently tap on her ocean blue door, letting himself in because he knew his daughter didn’t have the energy to get up and let him in, and he would sit beside her, gently urging her to sit up with him. Once she complied, after many groans of refusals, she would be glad she did because her father looked deeply into her eyes—and it was like looking into the reflection of clear and clean water—and told her she was a star. It was only three words, but those three words reminded her to never give up and get up when she would hit the pavement of what she felt like were her fallen hopes and dreams. 
Ren would then end it with a statement of advice that had always lingered in her mind, resonating to the silent and harshful words that she tells herself. ‘Nothing will amount to anything if you’re not having the time of your life.’
A rush of gratitude settled upon her as her eyes became glossier by the seconds she was in Ren’s arms. Beatrice looked at her greatest treasures fondly, a smile appeared on her face only for it to be replaced by a look of confusion. 
“Where is that damn brother of yours? He said he was going to be here at ten!” Beatrice interrupted the sweet moment she was having with her father, making them disconnect from the hug—just as Ren did with Luci and Beatrice.  
Speaking of the devil, her dear brother was making his way towards home on the side of the street, wearing a grey sweatshirt that was stained with his sweat as his earphones were nestled in his ears, loudly playing music. He loudly sang along to some rap song, breath staggered as he rapped along with his hands. 
Nathan smiled once he stepped foot onto the driveway as he took out his earphones, seeing his family look at him vigilantly. Luci laughed, shaking her head. 
“Hey, there’s our superstar, little Ana!” Nathan opened his arms, ready to hug you but she quickly stopped him, curving her spine backwards to deny his hug. Ana had been one of the many nicknames her family had called her when she was growing up from the second half of her name, but Ana seemed to have stuck with Nathan as no one else really called her that, so it was his own personal nickname for her. 
“Ew, please, do not hug me.” Her face wrinkled in disgust from the spell of her brother’s sweat from his run. Nathan chuckled, playfully rolling his eyes before turning towards his parents. 
“Ooh, donuts-”
Beatrice slapped the back of his hand before he even got a chance to open the pink donut box. “Not until you shower and change. Lulu needs to be in Brooklyn by three!” 
“Ow, mother!” Nathan whipped his hand away from Beatrice’s burning slap, although he was just playing around and being dramatic. “But fine, alright. The star always gets what she wants, am I right?” He dropped his head towards Luci, sighing before he hurried inside the house to take a quick shower and change. 
Luci giggled, telling her parents that she would be right back to go up to her room to check if she’d gotten everything, even though she knew that she had everything, she just needed to reminisce alone for a moment. 
Her feet took her up the wooden stairs, where she, for some unknown reason, always spent her time sitting on as she leaned her back against the wall and read or drew. Nathan always found it weird of her when they were doing homework when they were younger, but it was just one of the many fun anecdotes he could tell reporters if he’s asked about their childhood. 
Pushing open her ocean blue door that she never changed because she loved the color, she was met with the emptiness of what was once her sanctuary. Despite the paint on the wall changing, the replacement of furniture, and rearrangement of her childhood room, Luci could still see the baby pink walls where she hung up various posters of her celebrity crushes when she was eight. She could still see herself walking over to her Cinderella white wooden dresser as she pulled out an inflatable microphone from her drawer before she walked over to her bed to sing her heart out with her cousin. In the corner of her room was her mirror that she painted colorful flowers along the border when she was younger, and she definitely did not want to change or get rid of it; it wasn’t difficult to stir up a memory when she was in front of that mirror because up until now, she was always reciting her lines to her own reflection until the late night. 
All of these memories that Luci held within her heart would help her ground herself—remind her where she came from. No matter where her career took her, she would always be the girl that was firstly known in her room, crying, laughing, and acting within the four baby pink walls until she was sixteen, and then it changed to an ecru white. The feeling of nostalgia clutched her chest, and for the second time today—not even noon, yet—she found herself crying. 
She silently sobbed in her sanctuary. Her chest felt tight, like her heart was grasping onto the memories, begging her to not leave, to not move on. But moving on would mean being stuck, and she didn’t want to feel stuck—she just never wanted to be in one place where the walls would slowly feel like they were closing in on her. She didn’t want to be in one place and eventually hated it, so for that, she had to move on. 
A soft knock was heard from the outside of her bedroom, making Luci turn around hastily. She found Beatrice standing in the doorway, warmly smiling at her daughter, and keeping the tears at bay because she needed the comfort of her mother more than her mother’s tears. 
“My Lucky Star…” Beatrice walked into the room, welcoming Luci into her arms. “You okay?” 
Luci deeply inhaled and exhaled as she calmed herself down from her cries. “I’m alright. It’s just hard saying goodbye to this place—to my room.”’
“Oh, Lulu. You don’t need to say goodbye. I know you’ll be coming back here soon, anyways. I know you love home too much to completely stay away.” Beatrice was subtly trying to remind Luci about her love for her hometown, for her home, but her words also were trying to remind her about that certain love for her home and to never forget that love so she doesn’t stray away because Beatrice was simply afraid Luci would never want to come back once she discovered the luxury of her career. And even though she knew her Lulu wasn’t one to forget about her family, Beatrice would never admit her fear. 
Luci sniffled, wiping her tears away as she pulled away from her mother’s embrace. “Yeah, I know. Just…doesn’t feel real that I’m leaving.” 
“Sure, you’re leaving, but you’re going off to do bigger and better things. You were never one to stay in one place, physically and mentally—you were always moving, always loved learning more. And I’ve always been so intrigued and interested in how your mind works.” 
“Ma…” The waterworks seemed to be the highlight of the move. 
“I’m serious! I’m so genuinely proud of you. You’ve been keeping your talent—and I don’t mean ‘high school plays’ talent. I mean your Broadway, Hollywood, Academy winning talent. Now, you get to showcase your light in front of thousands of people.” Beatrice always had a way of boosting Luci’s self-esteem, making her ego a tad bit more bigger than it already was. She didn’t mind if her self-esteem had skyrocketed into the galaxy of her dreams, but she always reminded Luci that being humble and kind always outweighed being obnoxious and arrogant. “Now, enough with these tears. You’ve got a road trip to New York. C’mon, now.” 
They made their way downstairs and out the door where Ren and Nathan were talking about the latest basketball game of the Celtics. The trunk was closed, and the only thing waiting was Luci herself. 
“There she is! Ready?” 
Luci took a deep breath, turning her head to look back at the pastel yellow house that had kept her safe for the past twenty-five years. From here, she knew everything was going to change. Whether it’d be for the good or if things would go downhill from here? She didn’t know; all she knew was that she was going to be doing what she loved and she was going to have the time of her life doing it. 
“Yeah, I’m ready.” 
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The state of Connecticut seemed to pass by quickly from the car as Nathan drove at a decent seventy miles per hour; the state vanished just as quickly as when they entered. 
Luci mindlessly looked out the window, thinking about everything and nothing at once as she drowned out the music playing through the speakers of the car and Nathan’s voice singing along. 
The cars passing by, the bystanders, and the locals filled the streets and highways, making her wonder what all of these people’s stories were—wondering if they lived in this city or if they were just stopping by to visit, or if they’re just going through the state to get to the one next door just as she was. Maybe she’s had an encounter or simply passed by them on the street in a world that seemed too large but small at the same time. She always pondered on whether everyone else thought the way she thought—if they wondered what her story was or the people around them. 
The world is an interesting place and there were so many intriguing people out there, making her more excited by the minute as she takes on this new adventure in her life that would be completely life changing. Luci’s going to be meeting so many new people that, she would hope, have an impact on her personal life or career. 
“Nervous?” Nathan broke the comfortable silence between them. 
Luci raised her brows and curled her lips into her mouth. “A bit.” 
He nodded, thinking for a moment. Nathan was always one to think before he spoke, and it was a quality that some people needed to learn how to do. He quickly learned that lesson when he was in high school; one of his friends, Johnny, and him were going back and forth joking around with one another. And for some odd reason, teenage boys liked to joke around about fucking everything, so Nathan had said “Yeah, I fucked your mom, what about it?” without thinking. Johnny stayed silent, the rest of their friends were waiting for his comeback, but they only received tears that glossed over his eyes before he ran off to a different part of campus, away from the lunch tables. Nathan found him behind the orchestra building with his face pressed on his kneecaps, crying. Later, he found out that Johnny’s mother had passed away before their sophomore year started and he hadn’t told anyone, which left Nathan quite speechless, but it was a lesson that he learned: to think before anything comes out of his mouth. 
“I know you’ll do great. You were born to do this, born to be on stage. Everything you do is to greater your experience and opportunities. All the mistakes you’re gonna make, which we both know you’re gonna make, they’re gonna be learning lessons for you to continue doing what you’re good at doing; the mistakes are there so you can better yourself,” he reassured, occasionally glancing at you briefly before averting his eyes back onto the highway. 
Luci smiled, never taking her eyes off her older brother. She leaned closer to the middle console, where his right arm was resting on the padded console. Hugging his arm tightly and resting her cheek on his shoulder, she accepted and appreciated his advice, his words. They made her heart fill up with so much gratitude and love, insanely grateful and happy that she had such an amazing and supportive family who always knew the right things to say when they could sense her nerves and anxieties powering through the roof. 
“You’re gonna kill it out there. This is just a step towards where you wanna go, where you actually wanna be.” 
She nodded, looking to her right as they quickly passed the ‘Welcome to New York’ sign from the state line of Connecticut and New York, and it was the sign indicating her new home. 
Nathan pulled into the apartment’s parking garage, entering in with the code that the complex gave Luci on the silver keypad as the two watched the automatic gate arm swing up to the side, and Nathan entered the parking structure, parking in one of the many spaces available. 
Luci excitedly got out of the car, rushing to the trunk where Nathan had opened it from inside the car. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to bring the hand dolly to help carry the boxes, which meant that the siblings were going to have to carry the many boxes she packed by her own hand and strength. But luckily, some of them weren’t that heavy; most of the items in the brown boxes were kitchenware and she figured she could just drag those. 
One by one, they took one box each and headed for the elevator, where it took them to her apartment floor—floor four. Luci grabbed the keys from her purse that contained two copper keys hanging on one single silver loop and a small keyless sensor, and she unlocked her navy blue door, revealing her new apartment. 
When she entered, she was met with a door across the entrance that she would use for her coats and shoes, things that she would need when she’s rushing out the door. Going through the small hallway in from the entrance, it led her to another small hallway to her left where her bedroom and guest bathroom was; and to her right, it would take her to the kitchen and living space. With four big windows with black window frames, the natural light really came in, making her place brighter for saving electricity. 
Walking in and putting the boxes against the black cabinets in the kitchen, she immediately fell in love with the space, her space. Despite already taking a tour of the apartment a few months prior to her official move in day, it felt different being there for the second time because she now knew that this place was hers. She saw it in a different light, and she was already anticipating the memories she was going to make in her new home. The place was empty; and with every step and every noise from her mouth, the room would echo, and she loved it. There was something satisfying about the echo in an empty space that was hers, like she wanted to furnish the hell out of it, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the echo. 
“This is your new home.” Nathan put an arm around Luci’s shoulder. He got a bit emotional seeing his baby sister grow up and move away from home, but he was excited for all of the experiences and memories she was going to make. Luci looked up at him, not saying anything but smiling as she was speechless. Nathan could practically feel the excitement run through her and all he did was chuckle at her speechlessness. “C’mon, let’s go get the rest of the boxes.” 
For the next fifteen minutes, Luci and Nathan hauled the boxes from the car, to the elevator, and down the hallway to her apartment. There were about four more boxes left in the trunk, and they would’ve been finished by now if they hadn’t been taking breaks. 
Nathan’s phone rang as he was sitting on the floor, leaning against the cabinets of the kitchen across from Luci who was sitting in the corner where her dining table would be. 
“Hello?” Answered Nathan. “What? Tonight? I’m in New York. I’m helping my little sister move here. Uh, okay. Sure. Bye.” He groaned, standing up. 
“Who was that?” Luci asked, nosy as she was. 
“That was one of the board members at Mass General Hospital.” Luci’s eyes widened. “They just asked me if I could come in tonight to teach and supervise the new residents.” Nathan was a general doctor working in the Emergency Room as Mass General back in Boston. He’s always wanted to teach with all the knowledge he’s stored in his brain—always wanting someone to learn a thing or two when they spoke to him, and this was his chance. 
“Holy shit, that’s amazing, Nate!” Luci stood up, excited for him.
He started to breathe a bit heavily and Luci immediately took notice; she could practically feel the nerves coming out of him, the same nerves she felt while going in for an audition. “Yeah, I actually have to leave, like, right now.” 
“Hey, hey.” She quickly stopped him from running out of the building and out of his mind. “Come here—breathe with me for a second.” She held onto his wrists gently. 
“Luci, I have to-”
He pulled away, but she tugged him back. “You’re going to drive yourself through the highway, and who knows what will happen, you might get pulled over and you won’t make it to the hospital. So, just take sixty seconds to breathe with me.” 
For the remainder of the time that they had together, they took some deep breaths. She spoke encouraging and uplifting words to him to calm down his nerves and anxieties that he seemed to drive himself over a cliff for, and it seemed to work as Nathan’s shoulder’s weren’t so tense and the grip on her hands had loosened. 
The two of them walked down to the parking garage where Nathan took down the last four boxes and placed them by the entrance of the complex. He was adamant on helping her get the last few boxes up to her apartment, but she shrugged it off, telling him that she was able to carry them and that he needed to leave because he’s most likely going to hit traffic during rush hour. 
“Call me if you need anything, okay? I mean it. I will drive here in a heartbeat.” 
“I will, I will-”
“Just not tonight,” he joked. “This is the highlight of my career.” His smile was so bright that it was like he was a little kid on Christmas again who just received a Hot Speed set from Santa. 
Luci laughed, hugging him goodbye. “And call me if you need anything too. I’ll miss seeing you everyday,” she admitted, a slight frown on her face. She thought she’d have the entire day with Nathan, but it was cut short due to his work but she wasn’t mad about that at all because she knew there'd be plenty of times when he would drive down to walk along the New York streets and see her perform. 
“I’m gonna miss you too, Ana. But I love you and I’ll see you next month!” He hurried into his car, and Luci watched him as he pulled out of the driveway, waving at the rear view mirror to say one last ‘see you later’ to his little sister. 
Walking back to the curb where all of the boxes were set, Luci picked one up to test how heavy it was and she barely made it upright without almost hurting her back, so she put the box down to take a proper breather. She decided to drag the box closer to the door of the complex—which saved her a few steps without completely dropping the box that was labeled ‘glass plates’—and pulled the handle of the door, only to find it completely locked. There was a slight panic that flew through her until she realized that she needed her keyless tag that she had to press against the pad on the wall to get inside the complex, so she blew out a sigh of relief before reaching down to her pocket for her key, and with just her luck, her keys weren’t in her pocket or with her at all. Then she started to panic again. 
Luci quickly walked out of the parking garage and to the front of the building where the leasing office was to find them closed, which was odd because it was Saturday, but apparently their servers were down so they just decided to take the entire day off. She rolled her eyes annoyingly, walking back to the garage in a fast manner because she didn’t want anyone to take her boxes, and so she figured that she could just wait until someone left the complex or arrived. She even left her phone at her place, so it wasn’t like she could call anyone to help her, but some sort of entertainment would help the time go by quicker. 
Sitting on the curb in the garage, pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, and humming the melody from the Miss Saigon soundtrack, an hour goes by until she sees someone walk past the automatic gate barrier, heading towards the entrance where he opened the door with his tag. Luci sprinted towards the door, calling out for help. 
“Wait, wait!” The man turned around confusingly, taking his AirPod out of one ear. She caught up, taking deep breaths as she waved at the man. “Sorry, I’ve been out here for an hour and I completely forgot my key.” He didn’t say anything but stared at her, wondering why he’s never seen this woman before. The apartment complex really only had four floors, and he’s sure that he’s seen everyone who’s lived here. She noticed that he looked down at the boxes and back at her. “Oh, I just moved in.” He nodded more understandingly. “Do you mind holding the door for me?” 
“Sure.” Was the first thing he told her before stepping aside to hold the door. She took another deep breath, getting into the correct form so she doesn’t throw her back out, and began to lift the heavy box. He noticed her struggling, and he felt foolish for not offering his help in the first place when he noticed the four boxes on the cement. “Here, sorry, let me help with that. Get the door, yeah?” Luci’s heart flipped once she heard his deep, accented voice before she gratefully thanked him and he grabbed the box from her, replacing her hands with his and the slightest brush of their fingers made her flustered; he held the box tightly to his chest without much struggle. 
“Yeah, let me just get this one.” Luci grabbed a much lighter box that had all of her shoes, and held the door for him with her foot as he made his way inside of the building and to the elevator. He pressed the button with the arrow pointing up, and luckily, they didn’t have to wait for more than five seconds before the bell at the top chimed and the stainless steel doors opened. 
With the heavy box in his hands, he still let Luci walk in first, which made her smile and he followed in as she pressed with the bold ‘4’ printed on it. He held the box in between his chest and the other end of the bar on the wall as they waited in silence as the elevator lifted them up to her apartment floor, and she brushed past him when he lifted his arm, gesturing her to go first. 
Her front door was closed but it was unlocked, which only made sense, so she opened her door, putting the box next to the entrance and politely asking the man to put it next to the one you put down. 
“Thank you so much, really. You have no idea how much I appreciate your help.” 
“It’s no problem. I was the same when I moved here too—forgot my keys and was locked out.” He related to make her feel lighter about the situation since it was an honest mishap. 
“Did you go to the leasing office?” She asked curiously. 
“Yeah, but they were closed.” 
“They’re closed today too! It’s like they do that on purpose whenever someone new moves in.” The man chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. 
She hadn’t gotten a proper look at him since she was too distracted by trying to get into her building, but just by one real look at him, he was very attractive—probably too attractive to where she couldn’t think straight. He was wearing a pastel yellow and white striped button down that was a bit flowy and open, showing his white tank underneath that was tucked into his black skinny jeans. His tank top was low enough, exposing a patch of chest hair and his necklace that rested against his skin, in between his swallow tattoos just below his collarbones. Rings hugged his long fingers on both hands as he held two brown paper bags from Trader Joes. He was handsome, that’s for sure, and she felt like she was going to compare his beauty to all the other men that she was going to encounter in the future. 
“They’re not very good at going into work, but if you give them a call then it’s like they’re a 24/7 help center.” 
Luci nodded, chuckling. “Good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.” 
“I’ll help you with the last boxes.” Before she was about to protest and tell him that he didn’t have to help her anymore because she was sure the last ones were light, he made his way towards the elevator and she quickly followed. 
To her surprise, one of the boxes was heavier than the other and she was glad that the man was able to carry it for her. They took the boxes up to her apartment, stacking it on top of the ones that were set down before she thanked him gratefully again. 
“I really appreciate all your help.” She smiled, leaning against the doorframe. 
“Not that I’m doubting your strength or anything, but how were you supposed to get those boxes up to your apartment?” He asked softly, not wanting to offend her by his words. 
“Oh, my brother was supposed to help me, but he had to go back home for an emergency at work.” The man nodded, seeming that was the most acceptable answer, not like he was searching if she was lying. “But thank you for your help. You’re a true lifesaver,” she said with a soft smile on her face. Her tone was a bit flirty than she wanted it to be, but it naturally came out. 
“It’s not a problem. I’ll see you around.” Luci hadn’t closed her door yet, but she found out that he was literally her neighbor on the opposite side of the wall. He didn’t even have to take two steps to get to his place—all he had to do was turn around and he was home. She smiled at the thought of that, glad that her neighbor was already so kind to her. 
As he was fumbling with his keys, he eventually got his door unlocked, and Luci was itching to ask what his name was—maybe make her first friend during her first day living in the big city. The man felt his neighbor's eyes on him, burning through the back of his head, so he turned around at the same time she spoke. 
“Uh, hey,” Luci called out. He was looking over his shoulder, pursing his lips as he raised his brows. “I was wondering if…you’d like to have dinner with me tonight? Y’know, to thank you for all your help and practically saving me while I was stranded.” She chuckled, playing with the tips of her fingers as she looked at him with hope. 
He thought the invitation was nice, but…“It’s okay, really. I, uh, have plans already tonight,” he admitted honestly because he doesn’t make a habit of being dishonest. 
Luci had some thick skin—she grew it throughout the years, and she had always been pretty confident. So many people would think that she could handle rejection well because she’s auditioned for many roles in her lifetime, and had been rejected for most of those roles. But the rejection that her neighbor handed to her so respectfully and politely was one that hit her the most, and she didn't know why. 
Curling her lips into her mouth as she felt the pang of her heart sinking into her chest, she nodded and placed a small smile onto her face. 
“Have fun tonight, then. I’ll see you around.” She grinned, hiding the slight bit of pain that she felt. He nodded, walking inside his apartment as she was in her doorway as well. “Oh, I’m Luci, by the way.” She introduced herself, feeling like she should have done that ten minutes ago, but it had slipped her mind. 
The corner of the man’s mouth turned up into a sly smirk, and she nearly felt herself fall as she gripped the door handle tightly. It was enough to make the pain in her chest disappear, and all thoughts of the rejection that she would think about for the rest of the night vanished. 
“Nice to meet you, Luci. I’m Harry.” 
With that, Harry closed his door, putting a barrier between him and Luci, who was still standing in her doorway. She let out the longest sigh of her life, feeling like she’d been constricting herself from breathing properly for the last ten minutes. 
Luci closed her door and leaned against it, looking down at the boxes that were resting by her feet. She softly smiled, her cheeks were starting to get warm, and she was fully aware that Harry was the cause of it.
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come talk to me about your thoughts and feelings! hope you all enjoyed the first chapter, thank you for reading <3 
ty to @sunflowers-styles​ for beta reading!
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