#your acceptance is conditional

[red-6-ofspades]

I dont really agree with or think some kind of, how do people phrase it, 'gender abolition' is possible or truly desirable, but much like peace and justice I think it is a worthy pursuit.

People would still be men and women in a gender equality utopia but it would also be not even noticeable or worth mentioning outside of a medical environment, because gender expression would be considerably more divorced from identity.

Idk how to explain. Like i do not fundamentally think there is a difference between men and women and i don't think anyone can actually tell what your 'true' gender is and I don't agree with any sort of idea of gender divination. I don't think people were odd about me because they somehow 'knew' i was a boything, I think I just wasn't conforming properly and that was noticeable. It is not surprising that being autistic and being trans has a lot of overlap.

You just... can't operate on a framework that says you can fundamentally tell the difference between men and women. Unless you also want to make pretty much every gay person stop being gnc, or every trans person to want to pass.

You can't even add a third category and ascribe traits to that as nonbinary, because binary people will have those traits too.

You've gotta cut the tree at the base and say and believe that we made all this shit up. It doesn't actually invalidate anyones identity. I think its actually really good to see even the most genderly cissest of expressions and have your brain say 'that could be a man or a woman or a nonbinary person or none of those things' not that I think you should *treat* people like that, but it should, ideally, (and I struggle with this so I'm not saying this is easy or possible for everyone) mean that if someone corrects you, you should be able to go 'that makes sense, I will see you as your gender from now on now that I know' and get back to what you were doing with that person.

The hardest part of getting people to respect you when you're trans, isn't the trans part. Most people are, at the surface, trans-positive. But getting them to actually, not just respect your identity, but to actually *see* it? Honestly, the amount of people who I feel do that is single digits.

They have never had to question their perception of gender before. They have no practice because they have literally never thought about it. It's not their fault. But it is a solvable, practiceable problem (that I struggle with still).

Some people at least add 'trans' to their internal categories, but this is still a problem because, what sorts of people 'look trans' to them?

You've gotta aim for complete dillution of what a man and woman is in your head. If you're ever corrected, the process of seeing someone as any possibility should be already done in your head. They just have to tell you and you should already be ready for them to be themselves. It's hard, but I really do think it's the best we can do. Because we cannot divine it.

There will always be people who look at me and misgender me by operating on defaults. But I would much rather this happen sometimes than for people to only correctly gender me because they're afraid to be told off or because they, well, correctly guessed my flavour of queer.

Neither of these 'correct' people actually see me as me. And that's what anyone really wants.

[artsekey]

It really does look like pivoting to Harris has thrown the Republican party for a loop. She's speaking clearly, concisely, and with wit; if she were to be put in the ring with Trump, it would be a knockout if only because she's coherent.

I'm voting blue regardless, but I've started to feel like I've moved from voting for the 'least bad' option to someone I might actually be more passionate in supporting.

[mayadoesfandomstuff]

Love it when a character is revealed to be someone physically disabled or chronically ill and that the world around them is just an escapist fantasy that, although gives them short-term relief from their awful and cruel situation beyond anyone's control, would eventually make them so out-of-touch with reality that it destroys their very being and they begin to lose who they are in the fantasy because escapism is not, in fact, the solution to their problems

[lycanlovebites]

You know what? Fuck you *hits Father Ardelian with the shoujo filter and babygirlifies your priest*

@stjohnstarling

[echo-goes-mmm]

Ambrose and Elliot #34

Masterpost

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Warnings: torture, past noncon, waterboarding, broken bones

It was some sort of sick game.

Or at least, [REDACTED] hoped it was a game. It certainly didn’t feel like one, but if he could fool himself into thinking it, there was still hope.

“Please, sir-”

Lord Dael kicked him again, knocking the breath out of him. “Stop-” he gasped, and the boot came down to slam his head into the stone.

The room swirled, and he felt bile and blood in his mouth.

“Don’t tell me to stop,” Lord Dael snarled. “Don’t ever tell me to stop. Got it?” His heel dug into [REDACTED]’s temple, and the pressure made his head throb. 

“I got it! I got it, sir, please-”

The boot lifted from his head, and [REDACTED] curled into himself. He didn’t dare cover his head. Defending himself only made Dael get more sadistic. 

Dael loomed over him, and [REDACTED] couldn’t bear to look at him. He focused on the shadow cast on the floor.

“I don’t think I like ‘sir’ anymore,” Dael said, stroking his face. [REDACTED] screwed his eyes shut, shuddering. He didn’t like him like this; it meant he’d be fucked again-

“You’re going to call me ‘Master’,” he continued, patting his cheek, and [REDACTED] nodded.

“Yes, Master,” he breathed out.

As long as Master was happy, it didn’t hurt so much.

___________________

“You deserve this,” Dael said, taking a swig of wine.

[REDACTED] cried, his arms and shoulders burning with every movement. 

Master had strung him up by the wrists, left him dangling on his tiptoes, and grabbed a bullwhip.

“Say it,” Lord Dael commanded. He cracked the whip in the air next to [REDACTED], and he jumped.

“I- I deserve this.”

“You deserve this, what?” The whip came down on his back, and [REDACTED] screamed as the fire ripped up his back for the dozenth time.

“I deserve this, Master!” he cried out. The whip cracked through the air again, and [REDACTED] wailed.

It wasn’t true, it wasn’t. He didn’t deserve this. No one deserved this.

“You should be thanking me,” Master said, pausing to drink more wine. “I’m teaching you your place. Your purpose.”

The whip came down on his back before he could answer, and hot wet blood dripped down his skin.

He gasped for air. “Th-thank you, Master,” he shuddered.

“Again.” The whip slashed into him-

“Thank you, Master!”

Thank you thank you thank you-

___________________

The month was almost up, and [REDACTED] had never looked forward to something more.

He had a plan: get the money, and get out. He’d go to the doctor first, as his wounds were too much to bear. 

Then, he’d pick up his sister. Surely she was at the Emry temple, and he’d give her the biggest hug and apology he could manage.

[REDACTED] licked his dry, cracked lips. He couldn’t really explain what happened- it was too awful for her- but hopefully she would understand, especially with all the money he’d be paid.

The money. It must be a lot; a whole month of wages and maybe more because of… He cut the thought off. He shifted, trying to find a position that didn’t irritate his sore ass.

It would be enough to pay bills, get her new shoes, clothes.

Her birthday was in two weeks. She’d be nine, and there would be enough money for a proper present, unlike the past few years. He knew she wanted a sketchbook and some fancy colored pencils. He could swing that. 

Birthdays were important, after all. Especially nine. “Almost double digits!” she had told him proudly. 

Maybe there would even be enough for cake.

[REDACTED] closed his eyes, and dreamed of sweets and shiny wrapped boxes.

___________________

Richard opened the cell door, metal rod in hand. He wasn’t sure what the steel was originally for, but it was the perfect weight and length to teach his slave a lesson.

The slave cracked his eyes open, his nose and mouth covered in dried blood and cum.

“Morning,” Richard smiled at him. The slave sat up partially, still leaning on his arm.

His eyes dropped to the steel in his hand, and he looked devastated.

It was a good look on him.

“The- the month is over, Master,” he whimpered.

Richard blinked. “You actually believed me?” he asked, incredulous.

The boy’s eyes went wide. He actually thought-

Richard laughed. It was just too good.

The slave slowly stood, shakily sliding up the wall.

“You- you said-”

“I lied, moron,” Richard mocked, advancing on him.

The boy looked at the door and back to him, and surely he wasn’t that dumb-

The kid ran towards the doorway.

Richard grabbed his arm, flinging him back to the ground. The boy sprawled onto his hands and knees.

“You stupid bitch-” Richard spat, kicking him onto his side.

“Don’t-” gasped out the slave, and Richard’s vision went red.

“What did I say about telling me what to do?!” 

He brought down the steel rod, over and over, and the crying and shouting was nearly background noise to the buzz of anger in his ears.

Until he heard a sickening crunch.

The boy wailed, clutching his leg.

“You broke it!” he screamed. “My leg! You- you broke it-”

Richard felt nauseous. The limb was streaming blood, and it looked so wrong. A bone shard peeked out of the skin, and his stomach twisted.

The slave began to weep, and it was too much.

He turned, slamming the door locked behind him.

Richard leaned against the stone door, scrubbing his face. Gods, that was gross. He tasted bile and it was all that damn slave’s fault. 

He flung the metal down the hall. Ew. Even his hands had blood on them.

Richard went to wash up, and a cleaning bucket near the sink gave him an idea.

___________________

He sobbed through the pain. It was one of the worst things he’d ever felt, and with a broken leg-

Master wasn’t going to let him go. 

His brain stuttered. He was going to stay here forever. 

Everything went fuzzy. The pain felt far away, and he couldn’t breathe-

The door slammed open again and it all rushed back to him.

No- No more-

Master lugged a bucket inside, water sloshing at its sides. He dropped the bucket, and drops splashed out.

[REDACTED] braced himself.

Master grabbed his hair and began to drag him towards the water.

[REDACTED] screamed, shards of agony shooting up his useless leg as it scraped against the stone.

“Shut up,” Master hissed. Then his face twisted into a smile. “Take a deep breath,” he advised.

And then he plunged [REDACTED]’s head into the water.

It was freezing. [REDACTED] held his breath, twisting and fighting the grip. But Master didn’t let up-

He was almost out of air when Master pulled him out. He sucked in a breath, and he was back under.

And again, and again-

[REDACTED] scrabbled at Master’s hands, desperate for air. Master kicked his broken leg, and bubbles flew as he screamed into the water.

He choked and breathed in water and then-

Master yanked him out, letting him fall to the floor. [REDACTED] coughed up water, his lungs stinging and burning.

“I’m sorry-” he begged. “Please, Master, I’m so sorry-”

“Quiet.”

[REDACTED]’s jaw snapped shut. He trembled and shivered, which only made his leg worse.

Master stood looking at him. Then he turned and left, the door locking behind him.

[REDACTED] fully collapsed on the stone and just… breathed.

It was all he could do. He was thirsty and starving and dirty, but getting to the water in the bucket felt impossible.

It all felt impossible.

It was impossible. 

[REDACTED] breathed out, closed his eyes and tried not to cry even more.

Why why why-

There was only one answer. Only one thing made sense.

I deserve this.

taglist: @cupcakes-and-pain @secretwhumplair @paintedpigeon1 @whump-blog @whump-em

@thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @starfields08000 @littlespacecastle @mylovelyme @whump-cravings

@zeewbee @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @fanastyfinder @roblingoblin285 @whumpzone

@snakebites-and-ink @astrokea @latenightcupsofcoffee @tobiaslut @whumpsoda

@loserwithsyle @bitchaknso @cepheusgalaxy @taterswhump @fleur-a-whump

@hellodecisionparalysis @otterfrost @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94 @risk606 @i-walk-on-the-dark-side

@phoenixpromptsandstuff @haipasa

[canisalbus]

just found ur blog and im kind of obsessed. especially with machete,, i relate to him so much. i know youve said he has anemia, does he have chronic pain? because i would love to project my own onto him. he is so!!!!

Thank you! I'm glad you like him!

I think a lot of the time he's in varying levels of vaguely uncomfortable. He gets headaches and migraines, often from some extremely fixable bad habits like not resting or eating enough, and from stress and work related neck and shoulder tension. His eyes are very sensitive to bright lights and he doesn't see that well, so he ends up squinting more than he should, which leads to chronic eyestrain and more headaches.

[maxdurden]

adaine's family relationships are something i can actually be so incredibly normal about too btw

[winchesterian]

just as people have done entirely too much in the opposite direction by trying to rehabilitate john as Not Abusive, Actually (entirely as pushback to trashy whumpfic which wouldn't have good characterisation as a priority anyway), this is true also for John Winchester Understanding LGBT Ally takes. yes he wouldn't be throwing around slurs 24/7 like an over the top cartoon homophobe. no i dont think he'd magically transcend the social context of his time and hold zero prejudiced views around queerness, particularly gender nonconformity.

[randomgoonette]

So I'm building a PC for the first time and I managed to update the BIOS but the Windows boot won't show up!!

[adoresia]

im sorry abt this morning ☹️

You sure like stealing all my aura dont you💔

[britcision]

Always lovely to go see the sister 🙄

Apparently she’s been telling her arthritis patients that they just need to “move more”, not get joint braces or splints or anything to provide actual support

I just hope they all have the sense to listen to their rheumatologists and actual specialists, not a massage therapist with delusions of grandeur

[moe-broey]

FUCK RECENT BOOK JUST ENDED?!?!???!!

[no1cutiepatootie]

there was a buffalo that was about to die soon but we were not allowed to tell it to the owner

[kinokoshoujoart]

find yourself an AnWL bachelor who barks but only in conditions that contradict each other which means his barking dialogue will never actually show up in th

[transexualpirate]

tumblr be fucking normal about trans men that want to/go stealth challenge (failed miserably)

[fazedlight]

I know there were a lot of complaints when season 4 was airing, and I know it wasn't perfect. But so much of it resonated - including Kara's experience of conditional, passing acceptance.