#youre his wife from an arranged marriage whose a lot like him- you enjoy drinking and visitng brothels but you and oberyn arent romantically

[pettyprocrastination]

lore we have decided on for oberyn martell with @joel-mlller @thesadvampire

his only son is absolutely pathetic when it comes to physical activities. cannot throw a ball without tripping over his own two feet. Has been this way since he was a child and will be as an adult. becomes competent through years and years of training but even grown up he’ll still trip walking up stairs and thwack his head on doors. As a baby you might as well either never set him down or put that baby in armor cause that mfer is falling all over

1. is he yours? no. you (oberyns wife) never wanted to sire children and never will. but when he brings the babe home his little infant brain looks at you and goes ‘ah. that is mother’ and will outright refuse to be told otherwise. Will shriek and cry all goddamn night long until you come in and bounce him in your arms and he will finally settle. Always doing the uppy hands for you and mumbling “muh???muh???” to get your attention. Loves ellaria as second mother but YOU are prime mama despite your lack of maternal instincts you just sigh and go ‘well. i guess this is my baby now’ and are his mother. Oberyn thinks its hilarious but also seeing you motherly kinda makes his breeding kink go crazy. 

[malleux]

☆ introduction ☆ masterlist ☆

-> various characters x fem!reader | royalty au!

-> warnings: cursing, arranged marriage, arguing, typical princess gender roles and expectations

a/n: hi everyone! we’ve officially hit 2k, so welcome to “pick a prince”! please enjoy your stay as these seven princes try their best to win your hand.

When a princess is born, the first story she is ever told is a tale of another princess finding true love, marrying said love, and living happily ever after.

Nearly every princess story follows this plot, save for the wicked witch messing things up. You were read the stories of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White more times than you could count. Because you were a princess, and one day you would find your very own true love.

These ideals had been drilled into your head- when you were older, you were to find a sweet prince, or princess, and settle down. So why was it such a surprise when your mother came knocking one day, claiming that it was time? That you were old enough to be consider such things?

“Your mother and I are getting older.”

It was your father’s favorite explanation. He claimed that it was time for you to make big decisions such as these to prepare you for the throne.

“Decisions, such as marrying a man I don’t love?”

“You’re lucky we’re giving you a choice at all.” He’d respond, “Your mother and I didn’t choose each other at first. We fell in love years later.”

And who was to say you’d fall in love with your prince at all? You could be miserable, just like hundreds of other royals who were in your exact same situation. Those who have had the exact conversation with their parents that you’re having with yours in this moment.

“I don’t know any princes. How will I choose like that?”

“I have written letters to 7 kingdoms. They have respectable princes and rulers your age, all of whom your mother and I would approve of. They will arrive Sunday, and you will spend time with each of them. You will make your decision two weeks from then. Or else we will choose for you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Sunday-? That’s only a few days away.”

“So I suggest you prepare yourself. Freshen up on your manners and customs. I’ll give you a list of the kingdoms the princes are coming from, and I expect you to go to the library and read up on them. No prince wants a clueless wife.”

“No wife wants a degrading, judgemental, shitty husband.” You scoffed.

“Language.” Your mother snapped. “Go prepare. We’ll see you at dinner.”

☆ ☆ ☆

It’s not fair.

You smoothed out your outfit in front of your mirror, shuddering when the tight material restricted your movements.

It’s not fair.

Your shoes were too tight. So was your chest. Were you really this nervous?

Mother always said princesses needed to keep their heads high during trying times.

It’s not fair.

The walk from your room to the large dining room seemed eternal. Did the halls always echo this loudly? What terror did you cause in your past life to be born as a princess- a pawn in a game played only by heartless conquerors called kings?

Mother always said to put the good of the kingdom first. Think about the greater good. To be selfish is to deprive your country.

No, it’s not fair. But life isn’t fair, is it?

“Ah, Y/N!” Your father laughed jovially, greeting you from the head of the table.

Around him, sat seven men. They all had drinks in their hand- alcoholic or not, you couldn’t tell. You knew that you’d like yours to be. You smiled shyly at them and sat down beside your father, on the row that had only three men. You didn’t see your mother anywhere.

Food was served, and awkward was not the word to describe the meal. You picked at your plate in silence, save for your father’s small whispers for you to initiate small talk. You didn’t.

“Now, gentlemen.” The King coughed, getting all of their attention. “Starting tomorrow, you have seven days to gain the approval of my daughter, Princess Y/N. I expect you all to be polite, courteous, and respectful to her. If I hear a single complaint that you weren’t, you will go home. Now, I believe we should start with a few introductions. Dear, you start.”

Your father gazed at you expectantly, and you flushed, avoiding his eyes. “Uh, hi. I’m Y/N.”

Another silence followed. The princes were probably expecting more. Unfortunately for them, you only moved your hands towards them, gesturing for someone to pick up the ball that you had so-ungracefully dropped.

Suddenly, a gloved hand was held out in front of you. You looked up, only to gaze into one icy eye. “Hello, my dear. I am Prince Kaeya.”

You took his hand and he lifted it up to his lips, pressing a kiss against the knuckle before sending you a smile and sitting back down in his seat in front of you.

“I’m Diluc.” The red-headed man beside him said. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here almost as much as you did.

“My name is Albedo.” A shorter, blonde boy grinned at you from beside Diluc.

“I’m Xiao.”

“I am Zhongli.” The proper man beside you piped up, giving you a sweet smile. You flushed a little, definitely not used to being in the presence of a man whose attractiveness rivaled that of a god.

“Scaramouche.”

“And I, my dear, am Prince Childe. It’s a pleasure to meet you, and I cannot wait until I get to spend time with you and get to know you better-“

“Alright.” You felt bad for cutting him off, but you weren’t one for grandiose gestures. “Thank you.”

Kaeya snickered in front of you, and Diluc elbowed him. You raised an eyebrow, concluding that they must know each other already. You’d have to get the inside scoop when you talked to them.

Looking across the table, you felt sick. You were staring into the eyes of men you would have to choose between, and spend the rest of your life with. You didn’t even know them- how were you going to marry one?

Mother always said that princesses get happily ever afters. But this story doesn’t seem too happy yet.

Your vision was blurry. Your head felt like it was underwater. With ears muffled to the sounds of people calling your name, you stood up and rushed to the library, where you knew your mother would be waiting.

These boys have a lot of work cut out for them.

taglist: @xenia-cenia @murder-and-mistflowers @osmiumtrash @rebeljustforkicks137 @heisenwurst

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[dazed--xx]

Beside you

Request: Hello could I have an arranged marriage with Jungkook with a bit of angst but fluff at the end. Thank you xx

Summary: "You may kiss the bride" The hesitation evident on his face. My heart is racing and reality sets in “um…Jungkook?” He rolls his eyes and places a light kiss on my lips. His lips brush against my ear as he whispers “Just know this will be the last time you ever get to kiss me." 

Genre: ANGST, light fluff, smut

TW: None

Word Count: 5,092

A/N: SO i know you specifically asked for fluff at the end but i dont think this is the end of this i might make a part 2 if part 1 gets enough traction any way. I hope you enjoy the few bits i did do from what you asked REQUESTS ARE OPEN 

edit: REWRITE UPLOADED 10/13/2021

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““You may kiss the bride” The hesitation evident on his face. My heart is racing and reality sets in “um…Jungkook?” He rolls his eyes and places a light kiss on my lips. His lips brush against my ear as he whispers “Just know this will be the last time you ever get to kiss me.” Tears begin stinging my eyes, as we walk down the aisle as an officially married couple, hand and hand, much to Jungkook’s dismay. We rush through the double doors of the church and disappear in the car placed in the front if the building of worship.   

Once we got in the car Jungkook retracted his hand and the empty feeling takes over again. Jungkook doesn’t love me this is just a business inconvenience to him. IM just some stupid business deal, something for Jungkook to correct as he does with all his other projects, only difference is I’m not some company he can break apart and sell. I’m a person as much as he refuses to accept it. Since our fathers have agreed the only way Jungkook would be able to acquire and run my father’s company is if I become is wife as some type of fail-safe of preventing Jungkook from selling off the company and running away like he’s done so often after his business dealings. 

At the reception Jungkook disappeared as soon as we walked through the door. To the bar as expected of him to drink as I’m in need of liquid courage to make it through the rest of the night. Slowly I make my way around the room greeting Jungkook’s family, as he sits with the vixen of a bartender, a sensual smile plastered on his face with a rum and coke in his hand. “Y/N you have to tell me… are you and my Jungkookie going to give me grandchildren.” His mother asks smile on her face, excitement evident. I feel the words get caught in my throat, GRANDCHILDREN? WITH HOW HE TREATS ME…...? HELL, NO THAT MAN IS NOT TOUCHING ME. As if on cue my eyes shift to look for Jungkook at the bar but he and the bartender are no longer there. Of fucking course, he took HER somewhere to fuck at OUR wedding.  Almost immediately after your disappointment of a wedding, you’re shipped off on your honeymoon. You spend most days in Mykonos, alone Jungkook wanting to explore Greece with beautiful Greek women.  

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The last night of your honeymoon Jungkook crashes in your shared room drunk off his ass, a loud laugh escaping his lips as he shushes the mirror next to the entrance. “Fuck be quiet Jungkook don’t wake up Y/N remember” He scolds himself. You can hear the childish groan that releases from his lip “No I wanna wake up Y/N.” Your eyebrows furrow, at his drunken figure. Did he not see you on the couch? “Jungkook?” you asked confused. His head whipping around quickly; a huge smile plastered on his face “Y/N!! I got you wine and a couple of more things” He exclaims staggering across the room “I-I shouldn’t be the only one having fun on our honeymoon right” taking a seat right next to you on the couch as he drops a brown bag in your lap. “O-oh um” “Please.... I wanna have fun with you, it’s so boring to keep talking to people I don’t understand and don’t understand me.” You sit there in shock just staring at his openly chatty self “Please take some shots get drunk with me you never let loose” He begs as he reaches in the bag on your lap pulling out some nips.  

After a while you and Jungkook find your drunken selves on the beach, Jungkook laughing as you struggle to walk with the sand beneath your feet. Music rang in the air from one of the clubs near your villa, “Dance with me Y/N” Jungkook exclaims as he grabs your hand pulling you into his frame. His hands finding their way to your waist, guiding them against his hips. A soft groan releases from his lips as your drunken form begins dancing to the music. Turning yourself around pressing your ass against his now hard member.  

Both of you completely oblivious to the sensual way your bodies move against each other. Jungkook's hands firmly placed on your waist, His head resting on your shoulder as your hand reaches behind you. You find your fingers interlocking with his hair. His right hand wrapping around your chin as he angles your head so you are facing him. “I’m having a lot of fun Y/N” lips centimeters apart, the scent of whiskey, and vodka radiating off of him. ‘Brown and clear...You’re gonna have one hell of a day tomorrow Kookie’, you thought. His eyes drift to your lips as he brushes his thumb over your bottom lip. Your lips part slightly, his bottom lip finding its way in between his teeth as he leans in.  

‘He’s drunk Y/N you can’t take advantage of that he would be ignoring you right now if he wasn’t,’ you tell yourself trying to find the strength to reject his advances despite everything inside of you screaming to let him kiss you. 

You pull away quickly “I-I should get to bed I'm really tired” you state shyly as you rush back toward your villa. Jungkook’s trailing behind you, Once you reach your villa he finally speaks “thank you” you turn to look at him confused “F-for what?” 

He smiles “Hanging out with me, I don’t know being my friend even though I don’t really deserve it” You look at him sadly “You’ve been going through a lot being forced to marry someone you don’t love or can't even stand” He furrows his brows as he shakes his head “I can stand you Y/N, What I can’t stand is the fact that my father cares so little about me that he basically sold me off to your family. You had nothing to do with that you were a pawn in this just as much as I was” You nod slightly “I want us to try to be friends again, Jungkook” He rubs the back of his head looking at the ground “We haven’t been friends this entire time” 

“No idiot I meant like when we were in high school, except for the revenge porn stuff” You state matter of factly. You can see the way Jungkook shifts on his feet, anxious at the memory. “Oh- yeah of course you were my best friend and I really hated losing you like that honestly I was going-” You smile at him softly “Well we should get to bed, you’re really drunk and the past is the past we should leave it there no point in bringing up old possibly painful memories for both of us” You turn yourself around and make your way over to the bedroom in your shared villa. Since, you both have gotten to Greece you have been the one to sleep in the grandiose bed. You can hear Jungkook tossing and turning on the couch, since for the first time in 2 weeks Hes actually sleeping in your shared villa. You make your way out of bed and approach him “You should take the bed Kookie, you'll be really uncomfortable if you don’t and being hungover in an uncomfortable place isn't fun.”  

“N-no” He slurs, “T-the bed I-is for you it’s the least I can do since I’ve been a dick” You shake your head rapidly, yes you were a little tipsy but Jungkook was FADED; You still can’t help the way your heart races at his politeness. “I’ve slept in it every day so far, I don’t mind the couch tonight” Jungkook crosses his arms and pouts “S-so you don’t want to sleep next to me” you stare at him confused “I-I haven’t the whole trip Kook-ah" “I know” the pout on his face staying there “I wanted you to though, I hated waking up in some random room or house with a woman whose name I can’t pronounce” He whispered “Why did you then?”  

He groans as he stands up, grabbing your hand in the process and dragging both of your figures to the room. Jungkook continued to mumble under his breath. You can only catch the last bit of what he’s saying “I want to sleep next to you” you are about to say something when he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in to the large bed. “I want to hold you” He drunkly confesses “We used to cuddle all the time before; now you don’t even look at me and I hate it.” Youre stuck in a trance as he rubs circles on your waist. “I miss you Y/N I was so happy when my –hiccup- dad told me I was marrying you.” “You treated me like trash the whole time” you mutter. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you again, you only get hurt when I do” he whispers. “Jungkoo-” Your statement is cut off by his light snores and shallow breaths; He’s sleeping.  

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After your honeymoon you and Jungkook’s relationship has improved. He helped you move your things into the home his parents bought for us. Honestly none of us could even believe Jungkook actually came to the wedding let alone stayed in the house were supposed to share. 

 I’ve taken over the second bedroom to gain some solace from the hurricane that is his temper. There were days I would be greeted with Jungkook’s beautiful smile and the calmness would contain me. Others I’d walk out of my room and have a foreign object thrown in my direction. Jungkook and I would hang out on those days and talk until the sunset. Every morning I would have a cup of Jungkook’s favorite tea ready and set for him to begin his day properly.   

One morning I woke up extremely early, honestly at an ungodly hour. Tonight, was a particularly bad night, after our drunken adventure in Greece, Jungkook's drunken form rarely sought me out. Tonight, I figured would be no different. Until Jungkook came in the house and began taking his anger at our situation out on me. “YOU! YOU FUCKING DID THIS TO ME. YOURE THE REASON I CAN’T LIVE MY DAMN LIFE FUCK Y/N WHY CAN’T YOU MAKE THIS EASIER FOR ME AND DISAPPEAR” He shouted at you, deciding it was best to just ignore him and go to your bedroom. I can hear as he slams his bedroom door behind him.  

 After many attempts to fall asleep fail, I decide to go for a walk. As I run out the door, the world outside takes me over. I didn’t even realize how long it actually has been since I’ve left the house alone. The autumn wind rushing through the air as you make your way down the street. I find my mind drifting back to the days before your family informed you of the dowery. Jungkook hates you for being his wife but loves you for being his friend. I don’t understand anymore. My feet just move as I drift deeper into thought.  

The emotions I’ve been holding in begin to flow out as the tears burn my eyes. Finally feeling the pressure and change from this marriage. Losing track of time as I sit on a bench looking out to the Han River. The water is peaceful. The sounds of the city embrace me as I stare into the sunset. I don’t notice the hours pass until I begin to see traffic in the park pickup. I stand from my place on the bench and walk toward the bridge. Staring over the edge you contemplate jumping. Making everything easier on everyone. You feel utterly lost as the tears rush down your face. Shaking your head rapidly “no” you tell yourself as you make your way back, back to Jungkook, back to the life I no longer feel like leading.   

As the house came into view, and I saw 2 unfamiliar cars in the driveway. “Jungkook-ah I’m back is anyone he-” I shout as I walk into the house only to be cut off by the impact of Jungkook’s body colliding with mine. His breathing is heavy and a sigh of relief escapes him. His hands rushing to either side of my head as he looked me up and down. His chest heaving up and down rapidly. His eyes full of tears that were threatening fall. 

 “Fuck I thought something happened to you” he says examining my face. “Where were you? I woke up and tried to see if you wanted to go get breakfast and you weren’t answering the door, so I opened it and you weren’t there your bed is made where’d you sleep? I called your dad, man. I called MY dad” He doesn’t remember what he said to you last night. I smile at him apologetically as I notice the 2 men on the couch and I give them a polite bow. “I’m sorry Kook-ah I woke up really early and chose to go for a walk. I lost track of time and only made it home just now I’m okay; both of you did not need to take time out of your day to come here” you gesture toward your fathers. You can see Jungkook's father is completely stoic and uncaring, you avoid your fathers gaze as his figure trembled on the couch. 

“Y/N” Your father states just barely above a whisper as he looks you up and down “Dad I'm fine” You look at him, understanding his pointed worried gaze. “Y/N the last time you couldn’t sleep and went out for a walk I found you bleeding from your wrists in our neighbors pool” You can feel Jungkook's worried gaze on you. The awkwardness from the conversation growing around the room.  

“did that happen this time? and you have no right bringing that up it is a completely different situation” Your words do nothing to soothe him as you shove past Jungkook and lift your sleeves in his face “I’m fucking fine” You rush over to your front door slamming it open “Please excuse yourself, I'm tired and would like to go to bed after explaining to the husband YOU forced me to marry why I tried to kill myself, I apologize Mr. Jeon you did not have to take time out of your busy day to come here” Jungkook scoffs and mummers something under his breath. I walked the men out of the door, ignoring Jungkook’s hard stare at the back of my head as I said my goodbyes and apologized again.  

“Y/N” he whispered, you stood frozen in place at the front door. “What happened? Why’d your dad-” “It’s not particularly your business or your problem honestly Jungkook you’ve made it quite clear how you feel about me last night.” You cut him off curtly, finally making your way toward your bedroom “Y/N I was drunk last night I didn’t-” “WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER NIGHTS” I shout “Look Jungkook, with the exception of our ‘honeymoon’ you don’t even want me around you drunk. You can’t stand to look at me and the ring on my finger knowing you got sucked into something you never wanted to do” Jungkook stood in his spot, trembling, “Y-Y/N it’s not like that-” “I don’t care anymore, honestly” You state curtly.  

“I'm your friend Y/N, do you not understand how fucking worried I was when I realized you weren’t here and I had no clue where you would go” I scoff at his statement “Maybe if you actually put effort into this ‘friendship’ You would have known” A pout forms on his already saddened face. “You’re right I should be a better friend to you and I will be” He promises.  

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Since that day, a few months back; Jungkook requests for me to let him know that I will be leaving so he does not start another panic; We’ve also dedicated Fridays as our friend date night, which usually just consists of us hanging out at our shared house watching movies and playing video games. As I exit the shower, Jungkook stops me as I walk toward my room “Hey, do you want to go out with me tonight?” Jungkook asks shyly. My heart sored at the question; I know he wasn’t asking in any romantic way. I just couldn’t help but get excited at the thought of leaving the house. I hadn't left much since moving in typically spending my days home or working, no time to really explore and go out “Yes! I mean yeah sure that sounds fun” I exclaim. After I have my hair out, in a wet curly look and throw on the most beautiful form fitting dress that I own and make my way to the door. Jungkook is standing there waiting on his phone. His eyes slowly scan up me and he swallows harshly as his eyes grow wide. “Uhm… Let’s…”  I smile at him and grab his hand and pull him out of the house interrupting him “Let’s go Jungkookie”   

The club was fun, Jungkook told me to have as much fun as I want since I rarely go out. Even so, I never leave the bar as Jungkook can obviously spot someone so he excuses himself from me exclaiming he will be back in like 10 minutes and runs off to the dance floor. Anxious about the crowd and my sudden loneliness; I pull myself into a dark corner at the end of the bar drunk patrons around me oblivious to presence. Feeling a hand on my ass and turn to see an unfamiliar handsome face. “Hey, um sorry to sound rude but can you like take your fucking hand off of me” I say shyly.  

The handsome man smiles and nods as he quickly pulls his hand off of my bottom “Sorry, I couldn’t get my footing with all the people I didn’t mean to…like touch you there I swear, I’m Mark” “Y/N” I say as I reach my hand out. He smiles and shakes my hand.” What are you drinking” He smiles “Malibu Pineapple” I reply politely. Mark orders me another and soon I’m feeling tipsy. His kind flirty personality only making you even more flustered, He smiles and places his hand on the small of your back as you talk. You check your phone only to see Jungkook has been gone for the better part of an hour; Mark’s deep voice pulling me out of my trance “SO… I hate to be THAT guy but are you here alone?” My eyes drift from my phone, my bottom lip pulled between my teeth. “Oh I-” 

Before I can respond I feel a hand snake around my waist and the melodic voice I’ve come to secretly love comes from behind me “No she’s here with me…… her husband” Jealousy laced in his voice as he pulls me closer to him. “And were supposed to be having a good time together…without you”   

“Sorry man, I didn’t know she was married. You know…since she was standing here by herself for a while, and it looked like she didn’t seem to mind spending time with me” Mark smirks sarcastically. The anger is growing more and more evident on Jungkook’s face. “Excuse me?!?” Mark shifts and smiles to me ignoring Jungkook’s ever growing angry form. “You trying to go somewhere less crowded you look really uncomfortable with how many people are here” “Oh I don’t know” I state shyly, stepping back a little. “What Y/N I'm just trying to be nice ill bring you home. I just don’t trust this guy you know? Who leaves their wife alone in a bar like this for over an hour?” It's obvious that was the last straw as Jungkook pulls me behind him as he punches Mark in the face. Mark returns the blow, Jungkook's large form stumbling back at the power the other man had. “You want to keep talking shit asshole” Jungkook's loud voice rings out as he charges Mark again. I stood frozen in place from Jungkook's forceful grab. The bar hitting my back.  Soon security was separating the brawl and me and Jungkook were in the car on our way back to the house.   

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In the passenger seat I take in the details of Jungkook’s now bruised face. I shift my eyes back to the windshield, a pout evident on my face “Why was he with you, Y/N?” Jungkook questions the tone in his voice is obviously a sad and jealous one. “He just came up to and we started talking he bought me a couple drinks that’s all Kookie, I promise.” I whine. It’s happened on occasion after Jungkook swore to make up for not being a good friend to you; you guys would flirt and be all over each other, yet neither would make a real move. “Would you have gone home with him? Would you have let him fuck you?” He asks scared of the answer. “WHAT? NO! Jungkook-ah I swear nothing like that would have happened. I mean Mark was really attractive and I’m sure he would have shown me a great time but I just wasn’t interested in him, kookie” That answer seems to have settled him for now. The drive now growing silent. “Y-y/n?” Jungkook slurs “Yeah” “You ever thought about it?” “What?” I ask confused. “Sex, with me” He asks shyly. “Um Jungkook? How drunk are you did you-” “No that doesn’t count I mean recently?” He stammers out.  

“Honestly?” He nods rapidly “Yes I need you to tell me the truth because I'm gonna kiss you and I'm not trying to get slapped” He confesses. My eyes widen at his drunk confession “Oh I wouldn’t slap you if you kissed me” He smiles slightly “really? Would you stop me if I touched you like I want Baby?” lust filling his tone as his hand placed itself inside your thigh slowly rubbing up toward my core. A small whimper is released from my lips. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth. “You want me to stop y/n?” He asks cockily. I shake my head rapidly. “You want my fingers inside you don’t you baby?” I nod rapidly. 

 “Don’t worry baby girl I’ll do that for you.” he says as he pulls into the driveway. He runs to the passenger door and opens it for me as I get out and wrap my arms around him. “Oh yeah Kookie? Are you gonna make me cum for you?” I smirk the drunk naughty thoughts take over. Jungkook wraps his arms around my waist and for the first time tonight I smell the alcohol coming off Jungkook. He’s as drunk as I am or even more so, he presses his chest against my back and I feel a hard shaft against my ass. He peppers kisses up the side of my neck until his lips reach my ears “mmm Baby girl, I wanna eat your pussy so bad” He smacks my ass harshly as he lifts me and carries me into the home.   

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I wake up in Jungkook’s bed the next morning, events from last night come rolling in. We had sex, 4 times, I notice the coldness on the side of the bed from me. I make my way out of Jungkook’s room and dash toward the kitchen. Jungkook is sitting at the table on the phone back to the entrance. “I don’t know Jimin we fucked like 4 times Jimin but that’s all she helped me cum and I helped her that’s all it was” “No I don’t have feelings for her, we used each other Jimin, it wasn’t like that this guy was talking to her at the club and she told me she wasn’t going to go home with him but let’s be honest if I wasn’t there, she would have gone with him and I can’t have some slut for a wife” 

 “No man I just helped her cum so she doesn’t start going out for some rando guy to get her off she doesn’t really expect anything from it. She just wanted to cum that’s how good little whores do it and from last night I know she’s one of the best sluts I’ve ever met so easy to get her to do anything for me cause she’s a sub” “Look I got to go Jimin before she gets up, I got to get he out of my bed before she thinks I want her there all the time…. dude of course I’m gonna fuck her again it’s one of the best pussies I’ve ever had……your stupid dude bye”   

I rush to my room and lock the door. His words stab at my heart. Just some easy slut? That’s what he thought you were, because you let your guard down and gave yourself to the first person you’ve ever had sex with. Tears stream down my face as I hyperventilate a knock at my bedroom pulls me out of a trance. “Y/n-ie?” another knock “you, okay?” I shout from behind the door. 

 “Yeah…I’m fine” I hear slight shuffling “Did you want to go to breakfast maybe we can take a walk to Han River you said you like going there right?” His nervousness is evident through the door. “Um…Honestly Jungkook, I’m not feeling too good I’m like really hungover and I’d like to take a shower” to wash your scent and touch off of me. “Oh…. well can I join you then?” I shake my head no, god please no. “Y/N-ie? Babe?” my heart shatters at his words “Um I’m sorry Kookie but I really don’t feel like it” “Oh okay, um when you’re done can you come hang out and watch a that Invisible Man movie you wanted to see” “Um sure I’ll see you in a bit bye Jungkook” Jungkook’s face twists in to a pout behind the door.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After your shower you leave the room and walk down the hall “Jungkook?” before I pass his bedroom, I peak my head in and see Jungkook laying on his bed completely naked, eyes closed tight, stroking himself, moaning out your name. The sight is addicting I feel my own excitement building up at the sight of him. I try to back out of the room and accidentally slam into Jungkook’s bedroom door. His eyes shoot open and his hand leaves his member. “Y/N! I…UM…I WAS JUST….” I smile and walk toward him. “We’re you thinking about me Jungkook” I teased. He bites his lip “Were you thinking about last night or the fact that you missed fucking me hard into the shower” He sighs and nods “both” he mutters. His words from earlier out of my mind as I place my lips against his and let him take me for the 5th time in 24 hours.   

The way he pounds into me, his hair stuck to his forehead. “Fuck baby girl you take it so good, look at your pretty pussy taking this cock the way you should…. hmmm that’s my pussy baby girl” I moan in response “yes kookie-ah only yours” My climax builds fast as Jungkook’s thrusts get sloppy. “Yeah, oh baby girl I’m gonna cum so deep in your pussy” He exclaims as he captures his lips into mine. “All mine baby girl” he thrusts once more and I feel a warmth inside me as he kisses my neck.   

He gets up and runs to the bathroom. A loud ping comes through on the phone

   Areum<3: When are you going to divorce that ugly ass wife? Baby I got to spend time with you at the club but fucking in a bathroom then getting kicked out for a fight especially over her is crazy.  

My breath hitches and swells up in my throat as I read the message. He had sex with someone last night right before he had sex with me, he took my mouth last night. Disgust fills me up as I run to my bedroom. Opening the closet, I begin throwing my things in the luggage bag. “Baby did you want- what are you doing?!” Jungkook stopped at my door, a confused look on his face. 

 “I’m leaving Jungkook” I state as tears stream down my face. Panic rises on Jungkook’s face “why? You don’t want to be here anymore? Did I do something? I can fix it I swear but you can’t go…you can’t just go when we….” “Areum misses you and you should focus on one girl Jungkook-ah” I cut him off and realization dawns on his face as he runs to his room to grab his phone.

 The second the phone is in his hand he rushes out of his room and sees your retreating figure making your way to the door “Y/N-AH! DON’T GO PLEASE” You freeze the sound of his voice cracking “Areum is just some girl she’s not anyone don’t just assume because some girl texted me, she misses me that I’m going to run to her” “You were with her last night….you Fucked her last night not even an hour before you fucked me, my mouth” 

Jungkook shakes his head “No it’s not like that I swear like you said I fucked her, Baby girl I can’t fuck you. I make love to you please I’m begging you don’t go okay I know we haven’t been the best but I can fix this don’t do this not when I know I love you please” I shake my head and make my way to the door as Jungkook’s sobs grow. “Stop please” he reaches for the door and slams it shut. “You can’t just leave, not after what we just did, not when I love you, please” I smile at him lightly and press my lips against his.

 I feel his hands snake around my waist as he kisses me hard. I lose myself in his lips soon I reach for my luggage bag and rush out the door and into my car. Jungkook is banging on my passenger side window trying to open the door tears streaming down his face “please, stop, stop the car, get out please stay with me, BABY PLEASE” he shouts as I reverse and drive off the last sight, I have is Jungkook chasing my car with tears streaming down his face   

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Empire of Sand by Tasha Suri

Summary: A nobleman’s daughter with magic in her blood. An empire built on the dreams of enslaved gods. Empire of Sand is Tasha Suri’s captivating, Mughal India-inspired debut fantasy.

The Amrithi are outcasts; nomads descended of desert spirits, they are coveted and persecuted throughout the Empire for the power in their blood. Mehr is the illegitimate daughter of an imperial governor and an exiled Amrithi mother she can barely remember, but whose face and magic she has inherited.

When Mehr’s power comes to the attention of the Emperor’s most feared mystics, she must use every ounce of will, subtlety, and power she possesses to resist their cruel agenda.

Should she fail, the gods themselves may awaken seeking vengeance…

Empire of Sand is a lush, dazzling fantasy novel perfect for readers of City of Brass and The Wrath & the Dawn. (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Overall: A fantastic fantasy with really cool worldbuilding that we adored, and it keeps you engaged with a protagonist who does what she wants without remorse 😤 (and we love her). Also, heads up this isn’t YA persay, we’d classify it as more NA (new adult).

The Good

→ Mehr

Kae: So let’s get started with one of my favourite strong, badass female characters, Mehr.  Mehr is the “bastard” daughter of a noble. Her parents were very much in love, but her mother was an Amrithi. The Amrithi people in this world, are very connected to the spirits and the Earth. But, as all ~connected~ people seem to be, they were hunted by the Ambhans because they were seen as the lowest race of people. They were seen as barbaric, heathens, and all those other mean things people say to seem inferior. As much as the Ambhan’s hated the Amrithi, they needed their blood to protect themselves from Daiva (spirits). Ambhan’s also think of themselves as the superior race so jot that down. Now let’s get back to Mehr. 

Mehr is the daughter of an Ambhan noble and an Amrithi tribeswoman. The Amrithi do not marry because it will mean they are giving themselves up and breaking a vow that it literally written on their skin. It would mean they are losing a part of themself. Because Mehr’s father keeps a big ol’ cup of ‘RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE’ with him, he was like “Yeah that’s totally fine. I still love you and our children will be protected so this is fine.” So Mehr is protected, as well as her little sister Arwa. The thing is though, Mehr looks very much like the Amrithi. She has her mother's dark skin and hair, and tall figure. Her little sister looks more Ambhan, so she has a much easier time blending in. When Mehr was very young, her mother abandoned them and returned to the desert. So Mehr’s father had to remarry. Mehr’s stepmother is not kind to her at all. She is mean and petty and even forbids Mehr to see her sister, Arwa whenever she feels Mehr is being ‘disobedient’. Mehr’s stepmother, Miryam, has also raised Arwa as her own because she cannot have children. So she feels some type of ownership over Arwa. 

Mehr is very aware of her Amrithi roots and continues to practice the Amrithi religion and dance her Rites whenever she gets the chance. On one particular spirit Daiva fueled stormy night, Mehr decides to dance her rites in the storm. This particular storm is called Dreamfire and it’s basically when the spirits come down to earth. While doing her Rites, she ends up lost and wanders into the city, unaccompanied (Which is a huge no-no) and finds herself at an Amrithi woman's house (whom? Has taught her the rites and her heritage, in hiding.) This grabs the attention of the Mystics and they are at her house within a few weeks. The Mystics are very powerful people who you absolutely cannot refuse or they’ll pretty much kill your whole family. So she is offered a marriage proposal and has to take it to save herself and her family. This is when she is introduced to her soon to be husband, Amun.

Geena: I loved Mehr, and Tasha Suri does a good job of using Mehr’s character with her lineage as a way to comment on colourism and caste (since the book is set in a place that is essentially the Indian subcontinent). But yeh, Kae hit all the plot points, Mehr’s constantly told to hide her amrithi self but she dgaf and does what SHE wants… though this does lead to the Mystics showing up like Kae said. I think part of the history of the Ambhan empire is that they essentially “colonized” the amrithi, and the mystics had a huge part of that since they (we learn later) use the Amrithi to harness the daiva and their powers and guide the success of the ambhan empire. SO, Mehr is forced to accept this arranged marriage, even though her father HATES that the mystics are taking away Mehr’s ability to make her own choice. Ambhans generally consider women property but when it comes to choosing marriage partners, women are given free reign to make a choice, so her dad is furious when the mystics insinuate that Mehr HAS to accept. 

Mehr could’ve said no, but she thinks about it and realizes that if she doesn’t go along with the mystics they’d ruin her dad and this would ruin her younger sister’s life too. Our girl says ‘family over everything’ and jumps into the marriage, another amrithi boy (both characters are like 19 I think??). But right after the boy, Amun, is furious and Mehr can’t figure out why until he points out that now they’re bound for life!!! Mehr can’t STAND his ass, she’s like “okay but I didn’t want this either bitch” anyways this is a very slowburn type of story. Mehr quickly learns what it is the mystics do and she’s basically like “o shit.” SO LIKE, we learn that Amun has been under the mystics since he was a kid, and he essentially had accepted his fate that ‘I will live and die working for them’ but then Mehr shows up and learns everything, and our girl is quick-witted and isn’t about to take shit lying down. I LOVE how she essentially is a beacon of hope, even when her mother abandoned them and she was stuck with a shitty stepmom it didn’t stop her from embracing her roots and living life how she wanted. AND!!! Despite her stepmom’s threats she didn’t say away from Arwa and taught Arwa almost everything she knew. Mehr had rules laid out for her but she was like “lmao fuck that” and did what she felt like doing.  She’s also really sweet, she learns all about Amun and manages to befriend other people under the mystics, which backfires but you kno. You win some, you lose some. Mehr is truly that bitch and gave Amun hope, and together they fought for their freedom. 

ALSO, I should add that I like how Mehr doesn’t make dumbfuck decisions like everything that goes wrong isn’t necessarily her fault (other than her few slip-ups rip) but like she isn’t a dumbass so I found solace in that. 

→ Amun

Kae: Amuuuun. Amuun. Amun. I liked him a lot. He’s just this very quiet, handsome young man who is TRYING HIS BEST. He like, initially stays away from Mehr because he is resisting an order from the Maha. Basically, if the Maha tells Amun to do something, he HAS to do it, or he starts to suffer. It’s because when Amun was first forced to join the Maha and his religious cult, Amun had to take a vow (which is very literal and serious for Amrithi and is literally carved into their skin) to always obey the Maha. Amun has his own way or obeying the Maha. He rebels in the smallest way he can and I don’t think he even realized how much he was rebelling. It was just natural to him. He does what the Maha asks of him but in his own way. But yes, Amun was very standoffish towards Mehr. He was kind of afraid to get close to her because neither of them wanted to get married, but for Amun, it was a vow he was instructed to do. For Mehr, it was saving herself and her family. So he teaches her the new Rites she has to learn to perform in Dreamfire storms, etc. But eventually, they start to talk and actually enjoy each others company. Amun is comanded to sleep with Mehr, but since that’s isn’t exactly a ~specfic~ order, he has been sleeping with her… But like, literally just sleeping beside her in the same bed. That’s it. But TECHNICALLY, he is doing as he was commanded. See? Our boy finds loopholes because HE SMART. AND HE DRINKS ‘RESPECTING WOMEN JUICE’. We stan a legend. SO YEAH THE MAHA FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS. MAHA IS PIIIIIISSED. So he literally says to Amun, “fuck your wife.” and him and Mehr are close and this point and Amun is literally killing himself by not doing this direct command because he doesn’t want to hurt Mehr. He doesn’t want to force her to have sex with him. He is literally losing weight, sweating, getting sick. All of it. And Mehr is like “Listen… I love you. I really do and I don’t want you to die. So like, just do it. It’s okay, I’m giving you permission.” AMUN OUR SWEET BOY IS STILL SO HESITANT BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT TO DEFILE HER. BUT HE IS DYING SO LIKE, HE HAS TO HAVE SEX WITH HER. IT’S EITHER FUCK OR DIE. THE WORLD FUCKS U EITHER WAY SO MIGHT AS WELL. 

Geena: WHEN….. WHEN THE MAHA TOLD HIS OLD GENERAL DUDE “YOU WATCH AND MAKE SURE THEY DO” I WAS SITTING HERE LIKE…. BRO…. BRO WHAT……… AND THE GENERAL WAS UNCOMFORTABLE AND EVERYONE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE….. AND like everyone is eating the Maha’s ass at this point and it takes Mehr forever to convince the general guy to be like “couldn’t you just wait at the end of the staircase and listen instead” god that was so awkward.

Kae: I’M GLAD YOU MENTIONED THAT PART. Yes, it was extremely uncomfortable for everyone in this situation. Including the readers asdfghjkl;. But like, The general agrees and waits outside. Mehr and Amun are making the best of their situation and well… They make LOOOOVE. And it’s actually really sweet and not a bad scene. He was gentle with her and they made their own vows to each other to make such a harsh, forced moment, a moment of their own. Amun is just a sweet, quiet boy who is very much in love with his wife and he just gets caught up in shit. But we love him. 

Geena: I ONLY WANNA ADD ONE THING, which is that the condition the Maha had laid out was the moment that Amun slept with Mehr, Mehr would be forced to follow every single order from the Maha too. So all of Mehr’s “Friends” feel bad for her because she’s being forced to sleep with Amun, who they think is this hulking man who’s rude to everyone (he has reason to be bc they all treat him like a monster). And Mehr can’t handle her man being slandered and she’s like “EXCUSE YOU, BUT THAT MAN IS SOFT™ AND HASN’T TOUCHED ME” and one of her “friends” is like.. “O worm?” and basically snitches to the Maha. Also, I love how Amun is written, he doesn’t have a perspective of his own but we still get to see what drives him and why he is the way he is, like his past and what his dreams had been. Amun is like a dark skinned Thor but like more depressed sdkfjndsf 

WAIT UNREALated to Amun  kinda, but when the whole book went without cussing and near the end the Maha was like “AMUN I WANT YOU TO FUCK MEHR” I LOST IT….. Tasha’s editor was like “You may say fuck…. But only ONCE” like that donkey kong meme.  

AND ANOTHER THING, the ending with Mehr and Amun had me like clutching my chest. They manage to defeat the Maha and essentially free any future Amrithi from facing the same fate as them, but they realize that the dreamfire dance is important to keep the gods and daeva appeased. Mehr steps up saying that she’ll stay in like the Maha’s place and perform the dance and teach any Amrithi willing to listen, and Amun says he’ll stay with her too. BUT!! He had also said that he wants to do nothing more than leave that place and travel far away from the Maha’s influence, and Mehr essentially tells him “Amun, you gotta go live your life, I refuse to tie you down with me.” and up until the last page the reader is like…. O shit…. He’s going….. AND that’s so sweet of Mehr to say because she knows that Amun only has bad memories of the place and it’s overall traumatic for him so even though she loves him she doesn’t want to tie him down. BUT!!!! AMUN STAYS ALL BC HE’S LIKE MEHR IS HIS LIFE!! And together they stay and train Amrithi, and the place that had once been used to imprison and enslave Amrithi is made into a safe haven for them. 

Kae:  boom yes ur were right. I got caught up because it was so cute. But like, he goes “I don’t want to travel. I want to be with u” and she’s like “NOOO LIVE UR LIFE DON’T STAY CAUSE I WANT U TO” and he’s like “but i want to court u like we talked about” and she's like “BOY WE MARRIED” and he’s like “Yeah, but like, I want to court you every day. Like if we were normal and didn’t get forced into this. Anyway, I love you a lot, but we should do this right” and she gets all flustered and shes like “WHEW. IM GETTIN’ HOT. ENOUGH COURTING FOR TODAY.” 

The Bad:

→ The Mothers

Geena: Kae mentioned earlier than Mehr has had two moms, her real one and then the stepmom that she was forced to deal with after her mom left (see: abandoned) her. As much as her stepmom was an asshole to her, she did her absolute best to be a good mother to Mehr’s younger sister so like… I guess she deserves SOME rights. BUT…. THEIR BIRTH MOM? AN ABSOLUTE TOOL. We end up meeting Mehr’s mom after Mehr runs away from the Maha, turns out she’s been acting as chief for a tribe this whole time??? And wasn’t missing or dead…. Just out here…. Travelling with her tribe…. Not giving a shit about her daughters… And when her mom learns that Mehr is under the Maha’s control her mom is unsupportive in my opinion, and I was ready to fight her. Mehr asks for her help but her mom is like :///// sorry my tribe comes first :/// and anyways I was v unimpressed and her mom’s excuse was like “oh your dad gave u a life better than I ever could” like that doesn’t mean shit when Mehr didn’t have anyone to lean on in her life (like her stepmom could give two shits about Mehr…. Imagine getting ur period for the first time and your stepmom is just like ‘yea idc’ so u gotta sit there with ur cramps all sad with no one to hug you, bc all the servants think you’re weird).  Tasha Suri does a great job at writing varying levels of shitty parenting so there’s that lmao  

→ Kalini 

Kae: So now we have, Kalini, AKA BOOOOTLICKERRRRRR. Kalini and her sister whose name escapes me at the moment, were ~rescued~ by the Maha when they were kids or whatever. So she is his self proclaimed right-hand woman. 

Geena: She highkey wanted to fuck the Maha you can’t change my mind. She saw his wrinkly ass and was like “I wanna hit that”

Kae: LMAOOO YOU’RE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT. And like, she also highkey hates Mehr. She thinks that if her sister, Hema, continues to talk to Mehr, she will land herself in trouble and well, Kalini wasn’t wrong. Hema’s throat is slit and she bleeds out in front of her sister for fraternizing with Mehr. Kalini was mean to Mehr from the start, but the murder of her sister just darkens Kalini even more. She loathes Mehr. BUT, Kalini isn’t a total dumbass. She DOES recognize that the Maha is the one who commanded her death, so she holds that memory tight and uses it to fuel her. She later kills the Maha where he stands, letting him know that he is not a God, and is mortal like everyone else. She slits his throat. Boom, he dead. 

Geena: Kalini was eating the Maha’s ass but she realized he wasn’t shit at the same time. So she can have rights bc of that I suppose. 

The Ugly: 

→ Maha

Geena: now to talk about, as Kae beautifully phrased it the  “HOE ASS BITCH ASS FUCK ASS MAHA” He is truly… the nASTIEST man alive, thinks of himself as a God even though he’s ugly and probably has the body of a pufferfish (unappealing). So, he has the ability to do ~vibe checks~ and find amrithi, who he forces to dance every few months during a huge dreamfire storm so he can harness the magic and use it to fuel the Ambhan empire. He’s had Amun under his thumb since the boy was a child, and now he wants to use Mehr too…. OKAY WAIT KAE DIDN’T HE WANT THEM TO “BREED”  

Kae: YEAH. BUT AMUN SAID THEY COULDN’T HAVE KIDS BECAUSE THE DREAM FIRE RITE FUCKS THEM UP. BUT HE ONLY CAME TO THAT CONCLUSION BECAUSE MAHA WAS FUCKIN’ THE LADY THAT WOULD DANCE THE RITE WITH AMUN BUT SHE CULDN’T GET PREGGGERS. SO I JUST THINK THE MAHA WAS FUCKED UP AND NOT THEM. We will see in book 2 tho…. 

Geena: YEA!!! SO THAT WAS JUST ONE OTHER FUCKED UP THING THE MAHA ORCHESTRATED (also lmao he was shooting dust ehehhe). Along with slitting Hema’s throat and uh telling Amun to force himself on Mehr. A part of me was thinking while reading that if Amun and Mehr weren’t married and had their vows…. What he would’ve done… He was a gross old man and eugh makes my skin crawl thinking about him. Like he enslaved Amrithi and worked them until the ritual eventually killed them and ugh fuck that man he got the death he deserved… Though I kinda wish Amun had been the one to stab him dead but :/ 

Kae: Geena broke it down pretty well. We HATE THE MAHA AND HE’S A FUGLY, SKANK BITCH. He really is the worst though. He had been harnessing the power of the Amrithi people for generations, making him pretty much immortal (right or am I wrong?) until Mehr and Amun fought back and she dipped out on him in the middle of a huge dreamfire storm. Since they didn’t complete the rite, the Maha didn’t get that nice hit of Amritihi power, and he quickly began to age and get sick. This is when Kalini saw her opportunity to strike and murked his ass. The Maha was demanding, evil, VILE, and an abusive manipulator. I don’t like him. BUT THAT’S GOOD THAT WE DON’T LIKE HIM because that means he was well written. Tasha Suri does a fantastic job writing all of these characters.

Conclusion

Kae: Also, dude. Tasha wrote Mehr so well. It's why she’s one of my favourites. Like, Mehr was brave, but she was scared as shit in the beginning. She did everything she was told and we see her progress into this strong wonderful young lady and it's such a beautiful development? And same with Amun? He’s like, quiet and weird but we find out it was because he wanted to protect Mehr from the start? POETIC CINEMA. 

Geena: FUCK DUDE you’re so right, it reminds me of Sabaa’s writing a lot too. The way we see her characters flourish in tandem with each other like OOOF, I wanna write like that. Also, the romance isn’t like an insta-love type of deal, Tasha makes it very clear that it develops over a long period of time, and uughhhh everything is so natural. Speaking of, Tasha Suri’s coming out with another book set in the same universe, but this time it’ll be focused on Arwa, Mehr’s sister. We’re super excited because it happens years after this book, and Kae mentioned that Tasha has hinted at a family reunion so I CAN’T WAIT! 

[edgeofthedales]

ACGaS Commentary Transcripts

As some of the DVD sets of ACGaS don’t seem to have all the same extras as mine, I thought I would try to make some transcripts of the episode commentaries from Series Three in my set.

Now, keep in mind that these will not be a perfect and exact transcripts. Sometimes, when more than one of the commentators said the same thing at the same time, I would mainly attribute it to the person who continued talking. Also, there are times when I wasn’t able to catch what was said when more than one person was talking, and sometimes, I wasn’t able to understand what was said due to how it was said or because of interruptions. 

However, I did try my best to get at least 80-90% of what was said during the commentaries into these transcripts. For those who don’t have them in their sets, I hope you’ll enjoy what I was able to catch.

This first set of transcripts is from Episode 3.13, Will to Live. In this one, Peter Davison, Robert Hardy and the director, Christopher Barry have a chat over the episode. Due to the long length of these transcripts, they will be posted in parts.

[begin transcript]

Peter:  Um, hello, my name is Peter Davison and I play Tristan in the series we’re watching now Creatures Great and Small. And I’d like to hand over to my tyrannical older brother to introduce himself.

[laughter]

Robert: The very genial fellow. There he is on the left. [indicates himself during the credits sequence].

Peter:  There he is! [laughs]

Robert:  Robert Hardy. Nothing could be less tyrannical.

Peter:  Now, was that, were you, doesn’t look like…that never looked like an acting laugh, that. That always looked like a genuine laughter that you had.

Robert:  I think you will find if you look back at my acting that it looks like acting.

[laughter]

Peter: And then we also....

Christopher: I always loved that opening shot because it….

Peter: No, you have to introduce yourself.    

Christopher: Oh sorry. I’m Christopher Barry. I had the great pleasure of directing nine of the episodes.

Robert: Did you do nine?

Christopher: Nine in all in the first two, last two series. Not the last two. Two and three.

Peter: Right.

Robert: Series two and three?

Christopher: Yeah.

Robert: We went on to series…

Christopher: I know you did. [indicates dog onscreen at 0:57] But this dog with three legs is a genuine one and I saw it out one day and I said to my production manager ‘I must have that dog.’

Peter: [laughs] I must have a three legged dog.

Christopher: Poor thing. I’ve seen several since. No, but I just thought it was so right that he should be sort of taking a recuperating dog out for a walk and contrast it with this little dog [indicates Digger].

Robert: Three legged dogs abound.

Christopher: They do now.

Peter:  As they always do.

Christopher: Yes….

Peter: Never seen Chris take a dog for a walk. [laughs] He seems to go walking with a dog a lot in this one.

Robert: This is his dog walking episode.

Peter: So this must have been, it’s episode thirteen…this wasn’t the last one…

Robert: This must have been the last of the first…of the first block….

Peter: But wasn’t there an episode fourteen because it doesn’t seem to end as if it’s the last.

Christopher: No it doesn’t.

Peter: Otherwise this would have been the last program we made….

Robert: We always used to end at Christmas, didn’t we?

Peter: Yeah, except this was the war ones, champagne [makes cork-popping noise] champagne, Fortnum’s hampers….

Christopher: More drinking you mean.

Peter: More drinking.

[laughter]

Robert: Yes, more drinking. That awful ginger beer that doesn’t fizz. [indicates Mrs. Hall at 2:14] There’s darling Mary.

Christopher: Dear Mary whose….it’s interesting having watched an earlier one today, that her limp has progressed a great deal.

Robert: Yes, this is what brought her to the point of having the hip done. And they decided, quite wrongly, to do…I think quite wrongly….to do two hips at the same time. And it killed her.

Christopher: Very sad.

Robert: It really was. She was a wonderful woman. And in a scene, in another scene...is it in this episode or another one, where she gets drunk?

Peter: Oh, it’s not this one. No. It was always nice when she had a little more to do than just bring in the tea, wasn’t it?

Robert: Yes…. [indicates himself onscreen at 3:00] Who’s that young man?

[laughter]

Peter: You haven’t changed a bit.

Christopher: No, you haven’t.

[Robert chuckles]

Christopher: I love this scene because she [Mrs. Hall] is standing up to him [Siegfried]. She’s the only one who really will stand up to him. That’s lovely.

Robert:  [laughs] He [Siegfried] was absolutely unaware. And the real man was totally unaware when he’d gone too far. When his explosions had drenched everybody with rubbish. When he’d upset people. ‘Well, what’s the matter with you?’

[laughter]

Peter: Well I love the idea that…I can’t remember which series it was where he said to you that he felt that you were portraying him as far too tyrannical, far too bad tempered. And at the same time, the real Tristan, Brian, had come to me and said it was fine, but that Donald was not made out to be as bad he was….

Robert: As wicked as he was.

Peter: That he was far worse, he’d say to me. [laughs] So he had very tunnel vision about it.

Robert: Well my greatest feeling of triumph throughout all those years, what was it, fourteen years, thirteen years, all together? Off and on because we did, on the average, one every other year, didn’t we? Which was a very good arrangement because one could go off and do other work. And we did.

Peter: Well, I think the first three were done every year though.

Christopher: Yes, the first three were.

Peter:  There was a gap. It didn’t take that long, it didn’t take the whole year to do.

Robert: No, about nine months.

Peter: Because we did one in 77, 78 and 79. So the first three were in three consecutive years.

Robert: Yes…. But my greatest feeling of joy was when…which occasionally happened… friends of Siegfried’s, the real Siegfried, would breathe in my ear ‘you’ve got him’.

[laughter]

Robert: Do you remember the first time you met him?

Peter: I do…well, I remember the first time I went up to his house.

Robert: Yes, up to his house. Which took a long time, didn’t it? And the drive was about two and a half miles long. It was very grand.

Peter: Yes, that’s right it was. It was extraordinary that Alf himself lived in a little bungalow at the beginning of the drive to Donald’s house, this enormous house. And Alf Wight who was so rich by that time with the books and the success of the books, still lived in that little cozy bungalow.

Robert: He was the poor man of the cape.

Peter: Yes, he was.

[laughter]

Robert: But we drove up and finally got there and knocked on all the doors. All of which were open, but there was nobody about. And I was terribly disappointed because I longed for you to meet both Donald Sinclair who’s Siegfried and his marvelous wife, Audrey. I absolutely adored her. Well, I was very, very fond of them both. But there was no sign of anybody and we were just about to get into the car when there was the thunder of hooves in the park. And a horse, large, dark horse appeared, leapt the iron fence onto the lawn by which the car was parked. And there was Donald shouting ‘what the hell are you doing here?!’

[laugher]

Robert: Then we were taken in and given whatever it was….

Christopher: It must be extraordinary playing and meeting living people. I mean, you played many, many, famous dead people. But to actually meet people who you’ve been portraying on the screen must be a remarkable feeling, isn’t it?

Robert: Yes….

Peter: Well one of the….[pauses]

Robert: No, go on.

Peter: No, no, I was just going to say that one of the good things about the series was because it was based on real people and they did have…not control over how much we did with the characters but they were certainly a, you know, they were present, it kept it kind of on track. I think if it had been made about fictitious characters we would have been spiraling off into marriage disasters and all sorts of things that they couldn’t do. So it seemed to kind of keep it under control.

Christopher: Yes, it did.  A very good point.

Robert: Quite true.

Peter: Because you were saying that when they gave you a wife at some point later on in the series….

Robert: Bang, everybody exploded. All the reels exploded.

Christopher: Gave it sort of a documentary feel about it….

Peter: [indicates the conversation between Siegfried and Tristan at 7:20] I love this scene. I love this scene because, here, I’m desperately trying to keep up with Robert Hardy. [laughs] In fact, what I’m doing is I’m trying to do his acting. You’ll see here….

[laughter]

Robert: What I admired so much when you first joined was that you watched like a hawk, what I was doing. In order to be a brother.

Peter: Yes….

Robert: To be [?]. It was absolutely brilliant. I was lost in admiration.

Peter: Well it was just…what I loved about doing this series, doing these scenes with you like in the previous story we did, was that…it was, you never knew quite what you were going to do. So you had to be on your toes the whole time. Because it was just…sometimes you’d fire something at me at lightning speed. And sometimes you’d have a break and I was just....it was a fantastic experience to act with.

Christopher: Yes…. So one had to be on one’s guard in gallery to get the cuts where one wanted them. Because you never knew quite what delivery it was going to be.

Robert:  Oh dear god, awful….

Peter: No, it was excellent. That was the great thing.

[teenguyen92]

Why Friends With Benefits Are the Best Relationships

Just a nice article to read. It seems true to me though.

In a few days, I’m going to Cuba on vacation with a guy I’ve been sleeping with for eight years, but whom I've never once called my boyfriend. We live on different continents, but inevitably, a few times a year, we find each other somewhere in the world, have a few days of romance, and then go our separate ways. This arrangement would generally be called a friend with benefits, or a fuck buddy, or a romantic friendship, or perhaps even a relationship—with “no strings attached.” But let’s be real: There are always strings, aren’t there?

It was while planning this vacation that it hit me: The two longest relationships of my life have both been with men who I was never officially dating. Boyfriends and girlfriends have come and gone, but my friends with benefits have stood the test of time. I mean, eight years. That’s longer than I predict my first marriage will last. And while I can’t imagine being with my Cuba date “for real”—I mean, he’s a low-key homeless anarchist who once took me on date to his Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous meeting; there are red flags—I still value our relationship immensely. And he actually knows me better than a lot of my partners ever did. So what is it about the friends with benefits dynamic that is more sustainable, and often more transparent, than an actual relationship?

People are skeptical of fuck buddies. They’re like: How can you have sex with the same person, again and again, without falling in love? Or at least, without getting super-jealous and Fatal Attraction–esque? Some assume that one of the “buddies” is always being strung along, secretly hoping that the fucking leads to something more serious. Others dismiss fuck-buddy dynamics as just being compulsive sex that’s devoid of emotion. But why do things have to be so black and white? Surely it’s possible to find a middle ground between eternal love and zombie-fucking a stranger: a place where you can care about someone, have good sex, and yet not want to literally implode at the thought of them sleeping with someone else. Right?Case in point: The most significant romantic friendship of my life was with an ex-editor of mine, whom I’ll call Malcolm. We started “a thing” five years ago and have yet to end it. When I met him, he was 45 and charmingly grumpy, and he would always tell me: “Sex is so perfect. Why destroy it with a relationship?” I’d go over to his apartment for a couple hours in the afternoons, we’d have sex (soberly, which meant I could actually cum), and then afterward we’d drink tea and complain about stuff. It was the best.

There were times when we saw each other frequently, and other times when things dropped off for a while, usually because one of us had a partner. And sure, when he would get a girlfriend I would be a little bummed out—I’m (unfortunately) not a sociopath—but it didn’t cause me to spiral into an emotional cyclone the way I would have if I’d been cheated on by a boyfriend. After all, disappointment comes from expectation.Over time, Malcolm and I became really close. It felt like we had entered this secretive bubble of transparency—we were emotionally intimate, yet free of the burden of jealousy and ownership. We could spill our guts to each other because we didn’t have anything to lose. I told Malcolm about my previous relationships, my fantasies, my heartbreak. Once, he told me this long, complicated story about an affair he had with his cousin, adding, “That’s not something I tell most people.” Probably wise on his part, but I loved that story, as problematic as it may be, because I loved knowing something about him that no one else did. Sometimes it feels like we are more honest with our friends with benefits than we are with our partners.This paradox always makes me think of that Mad Men episode when Betty seduced Don at their kid’s summer camp, well after they had both remarried. Afterward, when they’re lying in bed together, Betty says of Don’s new wife, “That poor girl. She doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.” Harsh. But sometimes, romantic friendships can offer a type of intimacy that committed relationships can’t.I was curious to know if Malcolm felt the same way I did about all of this, so last week (for strictly journalistic purposes), I paid him a visit. “Having a friend with benefits is great because it’s just—it’s just less annoying,” he said, smoking a cigar and dressed in an inexplicable beige silk onesie. “It’s more of a low-intensity intimacy. It’s not encumbered by obligations, which just lead to resentment.”He then gave me that look—the one that means he’s about to admit to something despicable and blame it on humanity. “We are all selfish—we all live in this Ayn Rand–ish self-centered world, whether we like it or not,” he said. “When you’re in a friends with benefits situation, you don’t have go to the other person’s awful friend’s birthday party. But if you behave like that within a conventional relationship, it causes problems.

“With [FWB] there’s no illusion about the carnal aspect,” he went on, “so you can be really literal about it: You are two people who like and respect each other—and you like to fuck. There’s beauty and freedom in that honestly. And you can be playful. You can have your sex-power persona, or you can play the super-misogynist pig, or the bimbo, and it’s okay, because you’re not being judged. But if you change that dynamic into being a real relationship, then those games might not seem so sexy anymore.”In other words, your fuck buddy gets all the good stuff about being in a relationship—the wild sex, the cuddles, the juicy dark secrets—minus all of the boring, would-rather-die activities that go hand in hand with commitment, like having to help assemble your boyfriend’s IKEA bed, or having to watch your girlfriend stab at the ingrown hairs on her bikini line while she watches the Kardashians. (That’s me—I’m the girlfriend who does that.)Essentially, you’re taking a relationship and removing the creepy ownership of another human being, which leaves more room for hedonism and sexual exploration. Like, who do you want to bring to the sex party—your boyfriend or your fuck buddy? It’s a no-brainer. I’ve done so many things with fuck buddies that I never would have tried with partners, because I was too much of a jealous monster. (Like once I let Malcolm tie me to a dresser while I watched him have sex with my best friend. Unsurprisingly, it was literally awful, but now at least I can say I’ve done it?)One of the most masterful fuck friends I know is my friend Casey, a 26-year-old Ph.D. candidate in English, who until recently had a FWB for 12 years. It started when she was 13, with a boy whose family spent every summer in the same beach town as she did. (Cute alert.)Over martinis at Cafe Mogador, Casey told me, “When I’m dating someone, my immediate impulse is to be like, ‘Let’s lock shit down! My anxiety will decrease if I know you want to marry me in six years from now!’ Which is crazy and not hot or sustainable. But my longer romantic friendships have been a safe space. They’ve helped me figure out how to relate to someone romantically without the immediate trigger of, Where is this going?” In other words, having a fuck buddy is a great exercise in non-possessiveness.

“The thought of my boyfriend fucking someone else makes me want to wear his skin like a goddamned wetsuit,” she said, eyes bulging. “But with my fuck buddies it’s been like, ‘Oh, my God, tell me more.’ There’s almost a level of titillation to sex stories when it’s somebody who’s not your boyfriend. But why is that? I wish I knew, so I could bottle it and never be possessive ever again.”For all the benefits of fuck friendery, it’s still possible for this dynamic to screw with your emotions. “At different points in our relationship,” Casey recalled, “it was hard to respect the line between friendship and flirting when he started dating someone, because I’d known him more intimately than his new partner. It’s like my morals were thrown out the window, and I felt this gross egotistical sense that I should come first, because I’ve been around longer, like, ‘Girlfriends come and go, but I’m forever.’” Sometimes it’s hard to accept that these dynamics usually have an expiration date, which tends to be when one person gets into a committed relationship. And, unfortunately, not only do you lose the benefits, but you sometimes lose the friend, too.We are taught that all relationships that don’t end up in marriage are failures (because, ya know, hetero-normativity and patriarchal narratives or whatever). But subscribing to that belief ignores the fact that romantic friendships can be extremely fulfilling, enlightening, and straight-up fun. Of course, I’m not dismissing the benefits of committed, long-term, loving relationships. But both dynamics are valuable in their own right. And perhaps the reason romantic friendships are often so sustainable is they lack the soul-baring vulnerability and intense emotional investment.Maybe the coolest thing about the fuck-buddy economy is that it allows women to actually enjoy sex in a casual way, without having to enter an old-fashioned ownership contract. It celebrates female sexual autonomy. It’s a chance to explore ourselves and other people. And in the interim, we can discover who we are and what we like, instead of committing to a pseudo-marriage we aren’t ready for.

[lovemarriagesolutionspecialist]

How vashikaran can remove love Marriage problems in 24 hours | +91-8968620218

Vashikaran for love marriage is most common and one of the most important thing that people loves to make this in their use. Lot of people makes the use of mantra so that they could get retrieved from the problem of them. But unless they don’t get it at all from the specialized often they remain unsatisfied by their progress. When it comes to our vashikaran specialist than he will help you with open heart and welcomes you. Vashikaran for love marriage shall be make in use by people of those who are dissatisfy by their marriage and who want to get marry but they are unable to be as the obstacles are not making hem to being marry.

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Vashikaran mantra to convince parents for love marriage or to get married with desired boy for love marriage success

Love affairs are very ordinary these days. Everyone wants to get his much loved love partner and marry him. They look forward for the first mantra to get marry with desired boy so that they could easily get their love in their arms. Especially girls, when she likes someone then she considered him the whole thing of her. And want to marry him. But sometimes there comes some obstacles in her way to marry his desired lover. Like parents not agree for marriage, boyfriend not agrees for marriage etc. In such situations, this below is vashikaran mantra to convince parents for love marriage that is also renowned mantra to get the desired boyfriend or husband will be helpful.

Here is the very effective vashikaran mantra to convince parents for love marriage is Ganesh mantra. You will surely achieve success in love marriage on reciting this vashikaran mantra for love marriage. There are many Lal Kitab methods to chant mantra to persuade parents for desired marriage. Using this particular Mantra for love marriage success, you can even find a loving partner. While you perform your pooja, just recite the following mantra:

“Omm Sharigaaneshaaam Vidhaneshaaam Vivaahaaahaaarthae Te Naamaaaaha”

On reciting this vashikaran mantra to convince parents for love marriage, your probability of finding the accurate groom will increase. This is a great mantra for inter-caste marriage. You should recite this kamdev vashikaran mantra to convince parents for 108 times.

Mantra to get married with desired boy

This is another Shiva Mantra for love marriage success by lal kitab for girls to get most wanted lover as husband. This Mantra to get married with desired boy highly recommended for those girls who are having exceptional demands of the looks, qualification, money and wealth, which their future partner should possess in order to make their married life happy with Shiva kripa. This vashikaran mantra for marriage is also functional for women/wife whose husband gone astray from the responsibilities towards you of him. So Wife can also use this home remedy for husband love.

Procedure to enchant mantra for desired husband/lover:

The procedure is simple and can be put into actual practice by the aspiring girl looking for the bridegroom of her dreams.

On a Shukla Paksha Monday take some honey in a little Copper Lota and put 5 Bhang Beej in it and without eating or drinking anything go to a Shiva Mandir and do Abhishek of the Shivling with this mixture 19 times, while reciting this mantra to get married with desired boy, which is given below.

(Mantra For Girls To Get Desired Husband/Partner)

Hindi Mantra:ॐ शिवे आदेश पारवती दीन्हे मम इच्छित वर दीन्हे

Mantra in English: Om shive adesh parvati denhe mam icchati var denhe

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Does a vashikaran specialist really have the powers to help people? Absolutely, a real vashikaran specialist really have the powers to to help people. The vashikaran is in itself only a source of energy. Although with the help of lots of people can satisfy themself. Moreover you can take the help of vashikaran for love marriage. In order ever if you think that you need urgent help. Then a real vashikaran specialist always have the powers to give you instant results.

How can I use vashikaran to convince parents for love marriage?

You can actually make the use of vashikaran to convince parents for love marriage. However also you don't have any need to fear about that it will hurt them. Then let me tell you that absolutely no; the use of black  magic will raise your convincing powers and in front of it every person have to convince.  Rising you from your all troubles vashikaran does work for you.

In addition, especially in love marriage people usually face the same problems that their parents are not convincing. It has become one of the rising problems in love marriage. Despite of ignoring the fact that your parents will not convince. You need to start doing the arrangement of love marriage. On the contrary people also make the use of vashikaran to stop your marriage.

Even though the reason could be anything. The use of vashikaran for love marriage will definitely do work for you. Although there could be a lot of reasons behind of making the use of vashikaran by people. But ignoring all that factors the removal of vashikaran  can also be done from the person who knows how it happens. Therefore get in touch with our specialist if you want soon relief.

[downeystarkjr]

Killian Jones (CS pre-wedding one-shot)

Summary: A short one shot where Killian decides to spend the night before his wedding on his ship, rather than his bachelor party. 

Also available on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10101821 

After a deep lingering kiss to his soul mate's lips, Killian was banished from Emma. It was the night before their wedding and the Nolan’s were eager to ensure no Royal Wedding tradition was broken. Other than how their daughter was to be wed to a pirate captain. He may not have been their initial choice to be Emma's suitor but during the time her parents got to know him, even David was more than willing to give the pirate his blessing for Emma’s hand in marriage.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave Killian,” Emma uttered against her fiancé’s lips with a smile, knowing the next time they saw each other they would about to start a new life together as man and wife. Where she would be taking his name and they would be making their wedding vows. Marriage was not something she thought was possible for her until the day Killian surprised her with a proposal at the restaurant where they spent their first date. And Emma certainly never imagined her True Love was going to be Captain Hook, the man who was more than the villain he was depicted as in the story of Peter Pan. “Do we really need to keep to this tradition?”

“Unfortunately, your parents will hardly accept anything else, however you can be assured love that I’ll be missing you until we meet again at the altar,” the pirate replied after kissing back, running his fingers through Emma’s gorgeous natural blonde hair. “And don’t worry, I have no intention of getting drunk tonight,” he assured. “Rum won’t get in the way of our upcoming union tomorrow,” Killian vowed and was about to lean forward and kiss his bride to be before David put his hands on his shoulders, pulling the captain away from the Saviour.

“That’s quite enough of that Hook, it isn’t your wedding night yet,” David remarked in a no-nonsense town that the engaged couple knew it was better not to argue with him.

Emma chuckled with a small roll of her eyes at her husband-to-be’s smirk in reaction to David’s warning. She could tell how excited Killian was for the next night and the day’s events. Emma was excited too, she was actually going to be a wife. The Saviour and the pirate were just one night away from their happy ending.

“Don’t be so disappointed Swan, I’ll make up for it tomorrow. Have fun tonight love, I’ll miss you,” Killian joked and managed to place one last kiss to Emma’s cheek before David tried to usher his future son-in-law out of the house.

“I’ll miss you too Killian, goodnight, I love you,” Emma giggled as she called out to her pirate, waving at him with the widest smile on her face. The sort of smile that only ever appeared because of Killian. “And dad come on, it was just a kiss, Killian and I have kissed countless times,” and a lot more than kissing but of course she wasn’t going to scar her father with the thought of what Killian and Emma got up to when they were together at home, alone. “Surely, one more kiss wasn’t going to hurt, right?”

“Emma, it’s tradition for the bride and groom to spend the night before the wedding apart,” David reminded, having explained all about the royal wedding traditions many times during the planning of the matrimonial event. “Besides your mother has arranged something for you tonight at Granny’s in celebration for tomorrow and I promised her I would you get you there on time.”

Meanwhile, Killian was joined by his crew who had arranged a night in the Rabbit Hole for their captain’s last night of freedom. Little did they know that Killian didn’t see marrying Emma as losing his freedom but the next step in the couple having a future together.

“To Captain Hook!” his men cheered, toasting Killian with pints of lager while he just stuck to his trusty flask of rum. The pirate captain didn’t intend on drinking too much, not wanting to be hungover when he met Emma at the altar the next day.

“You’re going to love what we’ve arranged for you Cap’n, she should be here soon,” Mr Smee grinned widely, his words causing Killian to further question why he let his crew arrange a bachelor party for him. “Shall I get us some more drinks sir?” the first mate asked, looking forward to the night ahead.

“No Smee, this round is on me, I’ll get them,” Killian insisted, patting Mr Smee’s shoulder with a wide yet false smile as he stood up. Being with his crew made the pirate realise how much he had changed for the better. No longer did he enjoy celebrating by drinking with his men in a tavern or bar or spending the night with a woman he would never encounter again. Which was why he really did not want to be in the Rabbit Hole when the woman Smee and the others had ordered for him. Emma, his True Love was the only woman Killian wanted to be intimate with, spending the night before his wedding in the company of another woman was bad form.

“But sir-“ Mr Smee spoke out, turning round to Killian while starting to get up from his chair.

“Smee, the celebrations of tonight may have caused one fact to slip your mind, let me remind you, I’m still the captain,” The pirate stopped the other man from completing his sentence. Using a sterner tone with an equally firm expression written on his face. One that Smee knew all too well.

“Yes Cap’n,” he replied in a quiet mumble, looking away from his captain’s glare and sat back down to finish the rest of his pint of alcohol.

Killian just rolled his eyes as he finally left the table and went over to the bar counter. “Give the men over there the same again,” he explained, paying for the drinks with a few of the many doubloons he had in his possession. Storybrooke was the only town in the Land without Magic that was happy to accept such currency. “And if they ask where I am, I’ll appreciate it if you don’t tell them, mate,” the pirate added with a small smirk.

“Of course sir, and good luck for tomorrow,” the barman nodded as he went to sort out the drinks the pirate ordered for the men he was walking out on. Since Emma was the Saviour and the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White, everyone in town knew who she was and that she was marrying Killian.

“Bloody hell…” Killian breathed out with a heavy sigh, taking in the night air. He greatly disliked the small time he spent in the inn with the men who made up his crew during his pirating days. What even possessed him to even agree to their idea? Even if there used to be a time Killian saw their plans as the perfect way to celebrate an occasion. “Ah there’s the only maiden I’d love to spend the night if I can’t be with my Swan,” he smiled fondly when he caught sight of the Jolly Roger as he made his way over to the peace of the docks. Loving the scent of the salty sea air and the wonderful sight of his beloved ship in the moonlight ocean. “How are you, old girl?” Killian asked, lightly caressing the vessel when he stepped aboard. If being in Emma’s company was not an option, there was nowhere better than the Jolly Roger.

“And I want you to know, even though I’m marrying Emma tomorrow, you’ll always be important to me my dear,” the pirate spoke aloud, knowing full well that the ship couldn’t reply. It was a habit of endearment Killian had developed when he was alone. “We’ve had quite the adventures over the centuries together, haven’t we?” he chuckled softly, the ship had been his one constant in his life for all those years before falling for Emma. “And tomorrow you’ll be here with me as I take on another adventure.” Killian added, his smile growing wider as he looked over the top deck that would be littered with wedding decorations the next morning. He couldn’t think of anything better than marrying his true love on the Jolly Roger.

After spending some time with his flask of rum and the oh so calming view of the moonlight over the serene ocean waves, Killian decided to head down to his quarters below deck. Once there, he took out a small folded piece of paper from a locked drawer in his desk. It was centuries old and the edges browned and worn over the time, however, the drawing it contained was kept in perfect condition. He didn’t mean to tear up but the sight of his first love brought a tear to his eyes as he studied the perfect drawing of Milah he had kept since it was made. “I’ve never once forgotten about you my lady,” the pirate whispered, recalling what he had addressed Milah as when they first met. “If only we had the chance to meet one last time…” That would have been a strong possibility, had Milah not been forced into the River of Lost Souls. To know of her fate in the Underworld, it was as if Killian had lost her all over again. Milah was his first love, the woman he sought vengeance for, for centuries, and the woman whose name was etched in the form of a tattoo to his skin.

“I wonder what you thought of Emma when you met her, after losing you, she’s the only one who has ever given my life such happiness and meaning,” Killian continued, looking down to the drawing of Milah in his hand. “When you passed, I spent every waking moment consumed by my inner darkness and my desire for revenge to the point where I was willing to die for my vengeance,” he frowned, his heart still filled with guilt for the crimes of his past. Killian was aware he still had a long way to go before he could become someone he could be proud of, but he couldn’t have been more grateful that Emma had accepted him and loved him. Like he loved her.

“But all that changed with Emma, with her I’ve found something to live for, a future rather than an end. I never once thought finding love again would be a possibility for me, but with Emma, I’ve found everything my heart has been yearning for,” the pirate was unable to wipe the smile from his face, picturing his bride in her wedding dress and walking down the aisle to him. To marry him. The best thing about it was that it was no longer just a dream, but his and Emma’s reality. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’m finally happy again Milah, like you always wanted me to be.”

Killian had lost too many in his life and almost Emma by not being able to join her as she left from the Underworld. But they now had a second chance and if one thing was for sure, he damn well intended to have a future, a happy ever after with Emma, his Swan, his wife. His Saviour.

[tendaifmp-blog]

Jonda cynecki hasn't seen her twin sister Wanda in 13 years and doesn't hold out much hope that she ever will. Their last contact came at a family gathering in Ohio for Christmas, after which Wanda returned to her home in Key West, Fla. Then she disappeared. She didn't call, didn't write and couldn't be reached. When her parents died several years later, her siblings had to use intermediaries to get through to her. She called to borrow money about a year ago. Since then, the only sign she's still alive is that no one has heard anything to the contrary. And yet Jonda, 54, a school librarian, says wistfully of Wanda, "There isn't a day that goes by that something doesn't remind me of her."

Usually that something is doing the laundry. Whenever Jonda goes down to her basement to wash clothes, she sees, tucked under the stairs, an old tandem stroller. Her father crafted it from spare parts, painted it white and wrapped rubber around its wooden wheels. Jonda won't get rid of the stroller, even though it provokes sorrow and anger toward the sister who walked out on her family. What Jonda doesn't know--and might never know--is why.

Estrangement from siblings is a powerful ache not only for Jonda but for millions of other Americans as well--especially during the year-end holidays, when the absence of relatives is most poignant. Many of the 77 million baby boomers, now well into middle age, live farther from their brothers and sisters than did previous generations. And with each passing year, they face more of the life passages that often trigger splits with siblings, particularly arguments over the care of elderly parents or over their estates. At the same time, boomers have more divorces and fewer children and are less tethered to neighbors than were their parents and grandparents, so they are more in need of strong relationships with sisters and brothers--the most-enduring ties many of us have in our lives. Eighty-five percent of adult Americans have at least one sibling, yet an estimated 3% to 10% have completely severed contact with a brother or sister.

Such absolute estrangements may not be the norm, but experts who study family relationships believe they are on the rise. Psychologist Carol Netzer, author of Cutoffs: How Family Members Who Sever Relationships Can Reconnect, thinks that today's broader cultural freedoms have made it easier for people to say goodbye to traditions and to relatives. "The nuclear family is not as tight as it once was," she says. Some rifts reflect larger trends. The Woodstock generation, Netzer explains, was full of young people leaving their families to lose themselves in drugs or join religious groups, political movements and communes. "Often, when that ripple in the culture passes," says Netzer, "people go back to their families." Terry Hargrave, family therapist and author of Families and Forgiveness, believes that while the psychological self-help movement has been largely positive, "it teaches the individual that 'you're the most important thing; family is not.'"

The origins of a sibling breach often can be traced to childhood. Psychologist Stephen P. Bank, co-author of The Sibling Bond, observes that eldest children who are expected to care for younger siblings may feel overburdened and resentful. Children born too many years apart, says Bank, may never share common interests or developmental stages. For them, slender ties are sometimes easy to cut.

Nancy B. (who asked that her full name not be used) is a management consultant with a sister older by six years and a brother older by 12. She doesn't speak to either of them but for differing reasons. "The age gap was so significant," she says. As a child, she worshiped her brother, whose trips home from college were cause for celebration. A few years ago, he stopped returning her calls. She doesn't know why.

On the other hand, she was never comfortable with her sister. "There was always tension between us," Nancy, now 52, says. "I couldn't figure it out." Nancy ended contact after the sister attached herself to yet another violent man, and Nancy felt relegated to the role of caretaker--for someone who didn't want to be helped. The three siblings were last together 25 years ago at their mother's funeral. Nancy still feels the loss, she says, "but my heart isn't breaking anymore. I've figured out a way to be in the world without trying to make love happen where it isn't."

Yet in other families, psychologist Bank says, large age differences can help alleviate competition for toys, friends and parental attention. Some older siblings enjoy being caregivers, often in exchange for adoration. Studies show bonds among sisters tend to be strongest, epitomized by Bessie and Sadie Delany, co-authors of Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters' First 100 Years. And when parents are absent, neglectful or abusive, siblings often fill the void by forming tight bonds, as did the brothers in the movie Radio Flyer.

Major life changes such as marriage, divorce, birth, illness or death can trigger a separation, Netzer says, but usually only if tensions have been building for years. Consider, for example, the case of Michael Carr, 42, a money manager, and his older brother Steven, who ended contact with each other two years ago. When they were growing up, Michael saw Steven, two years older, as his best friend and guardian angel. "We were really close," Michael says. "He was the ringleader in the neighborhood. He was my hero." (Steven did not respond to requests for an interview.)

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n the early '70s, Michael says, Steven became temperamental and less reliable, no longer resembling the person Michael had admired. Steven wasn't crazy, Michael says, just increasingly moody and self-centered. About six years ago, their father was hospitalized, and the brothers went to Florida to see him. They stayed with their stepmother, with whom Steven had a quarrel. Steven told Michael he was going to the hospital to tell their father about it. "It was ridiculous," Michael says. "My father was at death's door, and my brother wanted to complain to him about my stepmother! I had to physically restrain him from going."

Their father died that night, and Michael hasn't seen his brother since the funeral. "I wouldn't be surprised if I never see him again," Michael says. "If I saw him on the street I would talk to him, but I wouldn't let him back in my life. I don't know who he is."

Money issues are a common source of strife between brothers and sisters: Why wasn't that loan repaid? Who can afford the bigger house? How should the family business be run? Behavior outside the family's value system can also trip the switch: coming out of the closet, marrying interracially or converting to a new religion. Then there are cutoffs linked to extreme emotional states, the reasons for which--such as untreated mental illness, substance abuse, incest and violence--may never be brought out into the open.

Wanda's older brother Charles Bucklew has only a few clues as to what might have caused his sister's self-banishment, including her drinking in the midst of their nearly teetotaling Lutheran family. Wanda, who no doubt has her own analysis of the split, never explained; her siblings never asked. And she could not be located by TIME reporters in Key West and New York. "There may be some reason out there that if you knew, it'd bring you to your knees, and you'd say, 'Oh, my God!'" says Bucklew. "But I don't know."

The drive to create sibling bonds or something like them is to some experts primordial--even for an only child. Parents always have a disproportionate power over offspring, but siblings teach peer-level tolerance, loyalty and constancy--qualities that later apply to colleagues, friends and lovers. In moderation, sibling discord is useful, says psychologist Bank. "If the frustration is too great, it cripples you. But we all need a level of frustration in our lives in order to move ahead."

In a 1996 study of people ages 18 to 86, 33% of those surveyed described their sibling relationships as "supportive," and only 11% were "hostile," with the rest falling somewhere in between. "I understand that there is sibling rivalry because I have two brothers and a sister," says Robert Stewart, chairman of the psychology department at Michigan's Oakland University. "But if something came up, and I needed to be on the other side of the country because one of them called, I'd go. There's not a whole lot of people in the world I'd do that for." Most people think of "rivalry" and "siblings" as synonymous and negative, he says, "but I think of it as a close affectional relationship where affection is not necessarily shown in a Hallmark card kind of way."

The sibling relationship of D.B. (who asked that her name not be used) won't ever be confused with a greeting card. As a child, she looked up to her brother, 3 1/2 years older. After his marriage broke up, though, D.B. didn't like the way he treated his ex-wife. Well after the two divorced, he abandoned their original settlement agreement, demanding half the house and full custody of their daughter. D.B. saw his demands as unfair--and didn't think much of his parenting skills. "I just felt he was such a pig," she says. So she stopped talking to him--for seven years. "I come from a long line of grudge holders," she says. "They like their grudges. They air them and walk them and make jokes about them--embellish them."

The silence ended, though, when an aunt died, and D.B. and her brother were the only relatives left to arrange her burial. "I remember thinking, Damn, now I have to see my brother." But the two reconciled somewhat and now talk occasionally on the phone. D.B., now 54, says if she ever needed money, she wouldn't hesitate to ask him for it. She has no money to offer him if the situation were reversed but says, "I would give him lots of time."

Often, estranged siblings are struck by a sudden yearning to reconnect. Says Bank: "Your children leave home, your friends are sick, the leaves fall off the trees, and you say, 'Well, what do I have from my past?' And for better or worse, you've got this sibling who might have been a pain in the neck but who probably knows more about what it was like to live in your childhood home than anybody else."

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Yet even for siblings who wish to reconcile, breaking the ice is hard. "The difficulty most of us have is how do you pick up the telephone after so many years?" says Stewart. "People get into a pattern, and even though they're not comfortable in it, they can't imagine an alternative. Or the amount of courage and energy it would take to try to change may be beyond what they're capable of doing right now."

The ability to overlook imperfections for the sake of a relationship is one hallmark of maturity. Siblings may decide to forgive one another once they have their own children. For Mark Horton, 44, a recent falling-out he had with his eldest sister still baffles him. He's not sure what happened or why. Now that they are back in tentative contact, they still haven't talked about it. "It was kind of a Twilight Zone episode," he says. But he does hope things heal. Horton (whose sister declined to be interviewed) says she has done remarkable things for him--sending him money when he was a poor college student and then being the only one to show up at his Harvard graduation. And he wants his four children to know their aunt. "It places them in the world," he says. "They're not comets flying through space randomly; they're part of a solar system."

Reconciliation, experts say, is almost always worth an attempt. But about 40% of the families in Hargrave's clinical practice fail at reconciliation, mostly because when difficult issues get stirred up, no one is willing to take responsibility for what happened. Says Hargrave: "The person who has left just seals off again."

For Douglas Matthews, 49, a human-resources consultant, finally breaking off from his parents and three brothers three years ago brought immense relief--and not just to him. "I see it as the best thing he could have ever done for himself," says his wife Teri-Ann, "and for me and the kids."

Matthews has always been reluctant to discuss his family situation because he felt that well-meaning people just wouldn't get it that his parents and siblings were harmful to his happiness. "I learned early on that very few people understand the positive aspects of estrangement," he says. For decades, Matthews waffled between trying to be part of the family and retreating. He would try to initiate changes but says no one was willing to join in. Over time, and with therapy, he discovered that the yearning he felt was based on an unrealizable ideal of what his three brothers might have been to him. "A real brother would be there no matter what," Matthews says, "and not have an agenda for you--just accept where you are and listen. But it would be unconditional--nothing could break it. And also do the stupid things, you know. Go to a ball game together." But what Matthews has with his wife and two sons is no fantasy. "I have a home," he says, "and that's what I didn't have before. And I cherish it."

Cutting off can be beneficial in some cases, says psychology professor Stewart, if what you're getting is nothing but negativity or grief. But it's "escape learning," he says, and if the other people involved are ever willing to work on the problem, "you won't know it because they're gone."

For 15 years Keith Bearden, 33, had given up on his family, including his elder brother Dean, 38. Their parents' divorce cleaved the family into separate camps, and Keith wanted no part of either one. "I was really angry," he says. He also felt that he, a self-described "meek intellectual," had nothing in common with his tattooed, motorcycle-riding, machinist brother. Then Dean started telephoning a couple of years ago, just to see how Keith was doing. Keith, to his surprise, was happy to get the calls. Dean says he had no particular plan, that he had never even thought about the years when they were out of contact. "If you were never close," he says, "you never miss it."

But becoming a parent got Dean thinking about family, and as Keith says, Dean was never judgmental or bitter about what had happened in childhood. Now the brothers talk regularly. They visit each other every few months and have realized they have the same sense of humor, the same taste for adventure, and they notice the same things--someone's weird shoes on the subway or a cute woman in a bar.

Keith says he's much happier accepting rather than resenting the differences in his family, that it's helped him with all his relationships and that Dean deserves the credit for helping him reconnect. "Dean kept the door open, and I eventually walked back in," he says.

Jonda Cynecki hasn't closed the door on her sister but is at a loss as to how anyone can pass through it. Since the death of their parents, Jonda has felt an increasingly acute sense of the irreplaceable nature of family. "There's that line that connects you," she says of her missing twin, "and I don't know if it'll ever be broken. Certainly when one of us passes away--and she could be gone now--I don't know if I'll ever know that." Cynecki pauses, wipes away tears, and collects herself. "Someday, I really need to find her. But just not today. Not today."