#youre the disease

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

HOT, SINGLE, UNSTUDIED SPONGES. 3000 NAUTICAL MILES AWAY. Come sail the distance and read Tiger Tiger!

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

[disaster-bay-leaf]

wilson: almost solves house’s moby dick case

house: undresses him with his eyes

[thehappyvet]

Where do people get this misconception that every single wildlife case at a vet clinic is euthanased so it's better to not take them in even if they're obviously hurt or sick and in need of treatment?!?!

Friendly reminder that a member of the public should not be able to easily pick up or catch a wild animal. We are not in a disney movie. If you can pick it up*, 80% of the time its extremely hurt or sick.

Wildlife, and most animals for that matter, do not show pain as humans do. That does not mean they are not in pain and suffering.

Veterinarians only euthanase wild animals that are suffering from extreme injury or illness, or animals that would stress themselves to death in a hospital setting that cannot be released and survive in the wild with their issue.

We do euthanase some animals, but that's because it's the best welfare decision for that animal and its specific problem.

Maybe trust the professionals trained in providing treatment to animals instead of some Karen on Facebook who demonises vets because she can't understand a bird with multiple wing and shoulder fractures is very unlikely to regain flight and return to the wild and her plan of keeping it means it will live a life of chronic pain and suffering.

*Disclaimer: If you live in a country where diseases such as rabies are endemic, you should not handle wildlife at all if you are not trained or vaccinated. This post is not recommending members of the public handle wildlife in any country.

[meirimerens]

youtube shorts is just tiktok without being on the app the amount of "i'm a [qualification] and [misinformation]" could make one turn their skin inside-out in protest. "i'm a board-certified OB-GYN & it's only been about the last hundred years that women have actually experienced menopause. We didn't live long enough to experience it" how can you be so incredibly wrong about something so integral to your practice. King of the Hittites Hattusilis III was told in 1250 BCE that his sister was too old to reproduce at age 50+. Aristotle wrote in the 4th century BCE that women stopped menstruating between ages 40 to 50, common menopause ages today still. i cannot begin to tell you how 4th century & 1250 BCE don't really count as "the last hundred years" unless that -s is doing a lot of heavy lifting. waiter waiter more misinformation laws.

[shotmrmiller]

in which johnny gifts the love of his life a sex toy outta nowhere

when you mumble into the phone that you miss him, johnny, he pauses for a second, then tells you he's going to bring you a gift back home. "to keep ye company, hen." after, he locks himself in a bathroom stall and watches you play with yourself until you both come.

but you'd thought he'd bring you a pet. a live animal that needs a cage to be brought across the world, not a long, slim unmarked box.

it's a sex toy. and it's rather large, at that. your hand wraps around the base, fingertips still a good inch apart.

"and i'm supposed to be using that?" his arms wrap around your waist, his thick stubble grazing the sensitive skin of your neck, raising goose flesh.

"don't like it? only had ye in mind, hen." he presses a wet kiss on your fluttering pulse. you've never really talked about toys in your relationship. you don't need them, of course, and johnny more than makes up for the time lost between you two whenever he's home but this?

"i don't know," you mumble. "a bullet would've made more sense, i think. at most a rose." his hands run up your sides, to the swell of your breasts and give you a gentle squeeze. he doesn't believe the tripe of people valuing size over all else, does he? the thing is easily as thick as your forearm and it's corded with veins. and it's uncut. whoever is making these are going to extreme lengths to make it as realistic as possible.

he bucks his hips, prominent bulge in his jeans coming to rest in the small of your back. of course he'd get excited. menace.

"ye willnae have t'use it alone now tha' i'm here. 'sides, i think ye'd look perfect with my pretty kitty stretched thin around it." johnny grabs your hips firmly, creating small divots as his grip tightens. "maybe i'll watch ye fuck yerself on it, hm? lap at yer clit while ye do." liquid heat pools in your belly, pulsing hot between your legs.

he really wants you to use it, given by his ragged breathing and he rutting himself against you. fine. "okay. just, not right now, yeah? i want only you in me." his eyes burn fluorescent as he nods, his large hand cradling your head as he pulls you in for a kiss.

you missed this. the sweet sting of his cock sliding home in your aching cunt, the sharp pinch below your navel when his tip comes to sit snugly against the plug of your womb. you've missed this. missed him.

maybe he'll forget all about that monstrosity sitting in the box.

-

he doesn't. he's bringing it up hours later, his spend still dripping warm on your thighs. johnny cannot be serious.

"course i am, hen." his fingers sweep at the hair stuck to your sweat-slick forehead. "is it a crime to want to see ye split open on some- something else?"

you think nothing of his stutter. "alright," you groan. if that's what he wants. it'll be interesting to see just how much you can take. you'll never tell him that your pussy clenched around nothing at the thought, his cum trickling out faster, pooling on the sheets.

-

it's not warm. the tip of it presses against your swollen entrance, cold in contrast to your heated flesh. johnny watches you swallow a gasp, your trembling hands reaching for his as you slide down an inch, two, three. johnny's cum is wonderful lube, but the searing burn- the size of toy is overwhelming, your walls being wrenched apart as you glide down further. johnny presses a prickly kiss on your cheek, cooing in your ear all the while his clever fingers draw gentle circles on your clit. "focus on breathin', bonnie. yer tensin' up."

desire begins to bubble beneath your skin, pleasure causing your muscles to warm and slacken, and after a long couple of minutes, you find yourself at the base.

but then johnny grabs your hips from behind and pulls- oh. "that's it." if you'd thought the toy had originally been in your stomach, it's now in your throat. "pretty as a peach, hen. jus' wha' i wanted to see." a shiver dances up your spine, notches trembling as you get used to the unforgiving stretch of the toy. his breath warms the side of your neck. "on yer go."

you come around it no less than three times, leaving it milky and johnny cleans it up with his mouth before he cleans you up.

-

the girth of it is something you'll never get used to but it does get easier. when johnny goes back to work, he tells you that all he asks for are videos of you using it. for his collection, he greedily says.

you send him as many as you can, no matter the hours. just a quick nsfw text before getting his thumbs up and away it goes. it's incredibly fun. the relationship hadn't been dull by any means, but this just feels invigorating. you feel rejuvenated. that johnny is your biggest cheerleader while using it is such a bonus.

you oughta marry him. maybe you'll elope the next time he's home. but when the next time comes, johnny calls you instead of messaging you the usual be home soon text.

and it sends you reeling.

bonnie. the toy treat ye well while i was gone?

no better than you could me, but yeah. i'm still sore from using it in the last video i sent you.

that's great. if ye like the toy then ye'll love the real thing, i ken. we'll be there in 10.

[canisalbus]

✦ Mom ✦

[ex-jock-enthusiast]

Tommy winkler is my favorite unintentional gainer

An excellent suggestion anon!

If you're looking for more content on this guy, @jake-is-still-drunk made a great post a while back covering him in more detail. But yeah holy shit the only two constants in life are twink death and taxes huh

[delta-hexagon]

Chronically Ill Hexagon asking for help

im desperate

on July 4th i returned home from a small family vacation and caught something on the plane that triggered a bad crohns disease flare. i went to the ER twice in excruciating pain and each time they sent me home telling me it was just a stomach bug

on July 17 i finally got my remicade infusion 2 weeks late, and on July 19 i had a gastroscopy. on July 24 i had a CT scan

i still havent heard about the results from either, and my specialist hasnt returned any of my calls asking for a letter so i can go on medical leave

my workplace similarly has NOT responded to my request for a Record of Employment, which keeps me from going on EI

i have not been able to work since July 4th and have had zero money coming in because i cant apply for EI without any of the paperwork ive been asking repeatedly for. after barely managing to pay rent, im solidly at -5 dollars

this entire ordeal has been awful. i feel like im being failed at every opportunity by medical professionals and my workplace and i dont know what to do. i can barely eat, drink, or walk without pain, and while im slowly recovering, i still dont know when i'll be able to return to work

so im asking here for help. for anything to help get me food i can actually keep down while i recover

[wheelie-sick]

ILY people who are continually wrong about their self diagnoses

being right about self diagnosis isn't what makes self diagnosis okay. it's a process, and you're learning. it takes time to find answers and just like doctors can be wrong in their suspicions so can you.

figuring out what condition you have is hard and I'm proud of you for taking steps towards finding the right answers. being wrong is okay and is even a valuable part of the process of ruling things out. sometimes it's not a horse, sometimes you're just a zebra, and you can't know you're a zebra without making sure you're not a horse first.

[hawberries]

you do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting

[reality-detective]

[shantechni]

12 Raph not just dancing in the S1 finale, but pushing his way through everyone so he can

That lives rent free in my head now because they incorporated some of it in the mobile game when he’s leveled up or the team he’s on wins

That's actually the best thing ever lol

[crazyw3irdo]

okay, i think any time anyone asks what superpower we’d like to have most everyone on this website would say shapeshifting but what kind of shapeshifting would you like

type 1- wild shape, you can turn into any animal, real or fictional

type 2- mystique, you can turn into any real person

type 3- cosplay, you can turn into any humanoid fictional character

type 4- jake the dog, you’re super stretchy

type 5- character creator, you can alter your own appearance- like changing voice hair length texture color, changing height and weight, transing gender, etc, but you can’t add anything non-human (ie horns, wings, claws, etc)

type 6- additional features, you can add things like snake eyes, horns, cat ears, tail, claws, wings, mermaid tail, but you remain humanoid overall and can’t change things like height or gender presentation or hair color. you can still change your voice tho

type 7- were-wolf, we all know what a werewolf is, lads. can be any kind of animal. can be straight up wolf or more monstrous wolf form that’s up to you.

type 8- furry, you just become your fursona. or any kind of fursona really you can change between them

type 9- antman, can become small or big

type 10- other, say what kind ya want