#yup I sure am mentally ill!

[lumosocstuffidk]

Erm

Erm

Hey ninjago fandom

Got a room for one more mentally ill individual?? Im sure you do!! Pls do... altho I've only seen the first 2 pilot episodes cause I have no idea where to look for the rest of the stuff.... so if anyone could give me a site that'd be lovelyylylyy!!!

Also while were here if anyone has a sillybilly discord server, you can drop it here too... I liek friends and wanma get to know people inside the fandom yesyes

Sowry if Im awkward, Its the autism ok bye

[leviathanverse]

Chapter 12: Not 5, but 7

You kept cleaning the walls of the enclosure. Or, as everyone called it, paddock 4. Turns out you were inside the enclosure of the most aggressive dinosaurs in the entire park!

And here you thought that it couldn't get any worse. Scratch that, IT GOT WORSE! Three other Allosauruses appeared out of nowhere!

One had green scales on its back and two lines with patches of white; the other one was red on the one half while the other half had green with yellow stripes on its back.

The last one had a brownish back with yellow arms and feet. Not to mention it had some feathers on its arms and patches of those feathers on it head and tail.

" Keep cleaning the walls. We'll make sure these three don't get near you."

" They aren't that bad."

" Thanks for the very reassuring words, Mr. and Mrs. Kanroji!"

You thought sarcastically. These people really needed therapy. Or needed to do some tests to see if they were mentally ill.

You scrubbed the wall, trying not to pay any mind to the three newcomers. You were not going to turn around and say "hello" to them.

You kept scrubbing until Mrs. Kanroji suddenly grabbed you and ran. Mr. Iguro followed behind you two.

HOW STRONG WAS THIS WOMAN?! Not to mention that you were carried on her shoulder like a sack of potatoes!

Did you weigh like nothing to her or what?!You sighed and looked at the reason on why she was running. You almost passed out.

Another Allosaurus, one with patches of all the colours from the other four on its back, ran after you three. Well, two.

You were carried like a sack of potatoes by Mrs. Kanroji while she and Mr. Iguro ran away from the dinosaur.

It was smaller than that of the other four Allosauruses. However, it had only feathers on its tail.

" Is that the other one?!"

" Yup! Also a playful one!"

" IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT'S PLAYFUL!"

" Well he is playful now!"

" Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh- I don't like this! ... I think I am going to be sick."

" Stop complaining! At least you don't have to run around like headless chickens!"

" Iguro!"

" Sorry, Mitsuri!"

It looked aggressive more than anything. Even mad! It looked like it wanted to tear them all to shreds.

Well, it did want to. As Mrs. Kanroji ran out of the gates, you noticed a familiar blonde haired male by the gates.

Mrs. Kanroji put you down and asked you questions. You answered them, while staring at the male that had pushed you in paddock 2.

Memories of the event took place in your mind but you had enough consciousness to focus on what Mrs. Kanroji was saying.

Looks like that training with dad came in real handy for you. He had taught you how to do this ever since you were eight.

" That was close! He is never thos playful."

" PLAYFUL?!"

You shrieked out in absolute fear and horror. You hadn't meant to, but it was instinctual. Mr. Iguro seemed surprised.

" Yeah... he gets playful. However, this is the first time I saw him in eight years."

" EIGHT?!"

" Can you PLEASE stop shrieking in our ears?"

" Iguro!"

" Sorry, Mitsuri."

Yup. He had a crush on her. The way he averted eye contact, how he pulled the bandages over his mouth more, the blush.

It was all there. The signs were all there. Especially the alarms that told you to get away from that blonde haired male.

You didn't want to have horrible memories or flashbacks. Not from the previous day. You couldn't handle another even on the second day.

No. That was too much for your brain and you yourself to process and handle. Nope! Nu-uh! You were good right where you were!

Outside the cage.

Much better than watching, while being carried by Mrs. Kanroji, how a carnivore chased you three- TWO! Two people.

" I don't even want to know how it is playful."

" Oh! He chews on his toys!"

How wonderful! You were delighted to hear such wonderful information and news! Note the sarcasm. She even smiled!

What was wrong with these people?! Where did they get the juice from?! You needed answers to become fearless as well.

" Oh! I forgot to say that we actually have seven Allosauruses."

SEVEN?! THAT WASN'T ALL OF THEM?! Oh boy... you were not ready for the other two Allosauruses.

You hated yourself so much and began dying on the inside again. How lovely to go on ANOTHER adventure to become dino food!

"How fun! "

You were sarcastic on the sentence you had thought of. You prayed to the three sisters to spare your miserable life for once.

Just for a few minutes. Hopefully they were feeling bad for you and decided to give you a break.

Hopefully.

Wow. Maybe it'll actually work this time. Who knows?! Only the future predicted your fate. Not you. Only Fate, Karma and Destiny.

You were going to get PTSD from all these encounters with the carnivores soon. You just knew it.

And so, the new journey for your task began!

Previous <-•-> Next

[lynnlovesthestars]

Do you do scenarios or headcanons? If so, how many characters can we request for scenarios or headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex if it's from anon or ageless accounts? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? Thank you in advance!

Hi`~ I'll answer to one at a time so I won't get confused I hope you don't mind<3

1 "Do you do scenarios or headcanons?"

Yes I do, although I have posted only one or two up to now, I actually enjoy writing them very much, in fact I got a whole folder of snippets just waiting till I find more stuff to put them with!

2 Would you do the same prompt with different characters?

Absolutely, I firmly believe that the same prompt can develop totally different with diffrent characters, so if you are interested in a past prompt or you have one that you'd like to see with multiple characters, let me know<3

3 Can we request for male reader, female reader, gender neutral reader, etc?

Yup, I am genderfluid and I have no problem writing for any gender, ofc if you request smut make sure to let me know if the pronouns match the genitals n or not, I'll gladly take care of that.

On this note my main oc in dnd- bg3 is canonically genderfluid, both in the concept of gender identity and physical, so again, everyone here is welcome<3

4 Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc?

It's not the topic the problem, but rather the connotations that might make me skip a particular request.

The only hard no's are minor characters in suggestive/ smut content, and bestiality. As far as other things I have wrote a lot of dark fics revolving around self-harm and suicide/attempts- and mental illnesses in general- and they don't bother me.

Rape/ non-con and dub-con are a particular topic for me, so i can write them, but I won't romanticize rape/ non-con. I will not write the main love interest as abuser, i can't stomach the idea of putting a perpetrator with his victim- so sorry for u cazador pals that ship him w astarion, or gale x mystra enjoyers (though i can write abt cazador n mystra, just not with their victims)- while dub-con usually doesn't bother me much. Of course i can go in more or less depth in the topics so if you have a tolerance limit, please let me know and I'll tone it up or down depending on that, but if i don't get any note on that, ill make sure to properly tag the pieces as the dddne post said.

5 Do you do poly ships x reader?

Absolutely, I have one poly piece that is being beta-read about wyll and gale x reader, and I'm eager to share it with you all cause 1. it was a lovely request i got, 2. i just love writing poly romances

6 Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily?

I love au's, as I mentioned Lynn- my oc-, he has been the center of so many au pieces i wrote for bg3 as i was in rest the past two weeks, so feel free to ask!

Today I feel like oversharing so there are my ultimate favourite au's: guardian angel, soulmates, best friends to lovers, royalty, forbidden romance, one bed stranded, moden-fantasy, isekai, coffee shop, bookstores.. but there's so many more omg

7 Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex if it's from anon or ageless accounts?

It's a bit of a grey area, if you don't feel comfortable sending an ask with your main where you have your age displayed, you can dm me the request and I'll take care of it however you like it, but if it's through asks I'll stop at the implied to be safe, thank you for asking though i appreciate it:)

8 For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer?

Of course, you are free to tell me as much or as little as you want when you send me a request, i'll do my best to respect your preferences whether you don't want descriptions of the tav at all, or you want something more detailed, you are free to request.

I've been thinking about opening some limited requests to write about ppl tavs- since i've been asked by quite a few people- but I don't know how to approach it specifically, but keep an eye open in case i open a few of them and you want to drop your commission<3

Thank you so much for your questions and your kindness, I always appreciate your openness, as a veteran in the fandoms environment, we all know how some might be less polite, so seeing even just the kindness of asking what's my preferences always warms up my heart.

lots of love, can't wait to see what lovely ideas you have in store for my asks!<3

[twinkpeaked]

my trans\genderfluid non-complete story as a young transmasc for all the other young transmascs out there

(Im jumping to to teenagehood immediately cuz childhood is just another paragraph)

The start of it (body image)

Idk if this is niche but figuring out im trans has second handedly cured my eating disorder. Let me elaborate. Ive always been skinny, not sickly skinny but overall just skinny. Then i turned 15. I just didn't feel right in my skin and there were a lots of posts about ana and all that stuff and i said yup. That must be it. I need to starve i need to be those idealised pics thats been going around to finally feel at peace in my own skin. But as time went on it just didn't feel right, i starved i was miserable i pushed everybody away (cuz thats illness like that does to you traps you in a little cocoon away from everyone you ever cared about, pitifully sitting feeling sorry for yourself) those posts never resonated with me, you know people glamorising their sickness, the body checking, and plainly bragging about how little they ate and how wonderfully the number on the scale went down. It never resonated. I didn’t care to be the smallest person in the room, i fucking loved food and the whole idea seemed rather silly to me. Immature. Fast-forward to me age 17, started recovery because again starving was not my answer to why i didn't feel comfortable in my body, and here where things started to change.

Realization

I started thinking why every time i envision myself i see a boy, why every fictional character that i wanted to be and resonated with was a boy. Ironically i was even using he\him pronounce on all of my social media, it just felt right. Yes i started recovery (and its so much worth it 100% no regrets at all) but i was still miserable and i think that summer i was at my lowest with my own identity.

Features

My hair was long. I hated my hair. I hated looking at it. I hated people complimenting it. I hate the way it felt on my shoulders. Same with my curves. I didn’t have a big chest per se but it still wasn’t as flat as i fantasised about (another thing that didn’t resonate with me, everybody on these ed filled spaces wanted to keep their chest and felt sad when they didn’t) and overall the hourglass figure. How deeply i despised it.

Taking action

Fast-forward uni started. And oh boy. Everybody was expressive with their identity, different hair colors different haircuts and styles and i was at my most miserable. Started cutting my hair. It was short, not boyish, still felt uncomfortable. Changed my entire wardrobe to whatever the guys on my Pinterest boards were wearing, finally we’re getting somewhere. Cut my hair shorter, boyishly, didn’t go to a solan because they never succeeded the first time. And let me tell you this, cutting my hair by myself was the most humiliating thing i’ve ever done and it is the most rewarding. To have your gender crisis in public is character building, and it showed me that i’m capable of doing anything if it meant having peace within myself. The hair was a mess. I showed up everyday with different hairstyle different hair length and my cutting wasn’t perfect i’m sure it looked horrendous from behind, but i didn’t care. Or i did but there’s nothing i can do about it it’s either that or loathing myself and i chose the former. Anyway. Then i got a binder. Things have turned 180 degrees (get yourself a binder!). I was my most confident. Hair like a boy’s, so was my chest.

Envy

I still get dysphoric. hell more than ever, voice dysphoria, body dysphoria, height dysphoria, even neck dysphoria. And i am very envious of men. Just daydreaming my time away if i was born cis. and even other trans ones. living in a place where its not safe to come out and there’s no treatment whatsoever i.e no testosterone shots, no top surgery and if i came out and asked for these i’d probably be put in a mental hospital with sever religious supervision.

Afterthoughts

So for anyone struggling out there with the injustice of the world i hear you. But don’t let it deprive you from who you actually are, seek any gender affirming act no matter how small it is. Just because the environment around you is trying to suppress you doesn’t mean you let it. And please please be compassionate with yourself. the world is cruel enough doesn’t mean you have to be too.

[jeskoholic]

A Heater for Her Thighs - Dreamcatcher Yoohyeon

Authornim: Yup, just a small piece with an idea that would be fit for this year’s Halloween. This is probably my most NSFW and explicit work to date. The tags as well as the TWs would give you a good enough of an idea about why. Please proceed with your own caution as the imageries and descriptions in this story are really not suitable for immature audiences. You have been warned.

This story was inspired by an existing song of which I am a huge fan of, translated and slightly altered to fit my personal narrative style. I’ll include the name of that song at the end of the story in order to avoid spoilers (the title is pretty much is a hint on the song though.). I understand that these kinds of stories are not for everyone, so no worries if you’re not comfortable and I’ll see you on the next update!

Once again, a very, very, VERY NSFW piece for Halloween… Let me know what you think once you’re done with it.

WORD COUNT: 12.6k

TAGS: Male Reader x Kim Yoohyeon, Fluff (?), Dark Fantasy, Supernatural Love, Twisted Romance, Love and Death, Body Horror (?), Zombies and the Undead, Horror Imagines

TRIGGER WARNING: Contains a lot of violent actions, Depictions of violence towards idols/women, Depictions of violence towards the main character, Mentions and implications of sex, Imageries of Hell, necrophilia, abuse, mental Illness, Imageries and descriptions of blood, Gore, Murder, Swearing, degradation (?), cannibalism, paranoia, Depictions of Death, Body Horror, Explicit language, Sadism, Very fucked up story overall.

Enjoy!

This was a bitch to write.

Happy Halloween!

Masterlist

---

You had your legs situated under the table of your old apartment, tapping the wooden ground endlessly in a quiet display of anxiety. The small décor you placed around the dining room was criminally minimal despite having a greater purpose for that particular evening, which explains the impending worry you had in your mind. Scent of molten wax lingered about the air as the candles danced clueless into the void; their flames echoing a soft illumination that joined the minimal lighting you arranged for that night. Your sole company for that worrisome approach were two plates of carefully cooked dinner as well as the euphonious rhythm of the blues and jazz you set as a background. It sure sounded romantic and invigorating and yet it did exactly the opposite to your feeble seated figure.

A sound of a door opening felt like a shriek that broke into the silence as well as your misplaced concentration. The stillness of your rising distress halted in one fell swoop the moment that the love of your life, your girlfriend of many years Kim Yoohyeon, entered the room. However, as much as Yoohyeon was the one who could keep you in upright and positive equilibrium, she was also the unwitting source of dread for that arrangement.

“Hello my love,” Your girlfriend greeted you as she sat opposite you on the humble dining table; her expressive eyes gazing at you with concern. “I’m sorry if I kept you waiting, but at least I took care of the things that we won’t be interrupted just like you asked me. Shall we start, my love?”

“Y-yes…” you croak; the tapping that came from your leg seemingly became a lot worse when she finally arrived at the scene. You could not even figure out if you were doing it to quench your unbridled anxiety or your leg cramped entirely on its own.

“Are you okay?” asked Yoohyeon in utmost concern. You planted your eyes on her in response; a bit forced and divided whether it was caused by care or fear. “You look pale. Are you really nervous? This was your idea, my love. Please, keep calm and just let the moment flow with you. I’m here with you; don’t be afraid.”

As an act of control, you placed your hand heavily over your thigh; effectively stopping your leg from trembling before Yoohyeon could even sense the tension going on with your sorry being.

“S-sorry… you just l-look beautiful…”

Even with that mousy reply, Yoohyeon found the beauty in your words and sensed that something you planned was already in effect. You were never the type who could keep still when something was going on and having known you for years, Yoohyeon could already tell that there was something behind the scenes just by looking at your eyes. However, even if she had her hints she still elected to play along your little game and act blind with your plans. It’s not like going for a candle-lit dinner devoid of any occasion was not suspicious to her at all.

You sat there opposite her as you feel your heart about to burst out of your chest. You had Yoohyeon for years and years and this was the night you planned to tie the knot: you gained traction and finally decided to propose to her and make her yours forever.

It was time for you to marry Kim Yoohyeon.

“Yoohyeon … my love…” you began as you finally asked her to stand up. You ignored all sense of ceremony and formality inside your head and decided to jump the gun right away. The dinner was more of an afterthought; you only used it to lure her with you alone. At least then, if everything went with how you planned for it then you have something to talk over dinner.

You stood from your chair, carefully waltzed around to Yoohyeon’s position where she mimicked the same action out of confusion. She already supplied you with a tilt of her head, signalling her interest on what was to follow while you fished a small box from your pocket. There was no sense of build-up; no small talks between, no nothing. You were there and she was with you. You gathered the courage and it was your moment of truth. You gave her sharp eyes a final glance before you sank to the floor on one knee, prying open the box for her to finally see the diamond ring hidden within.

“Yoohyeon, my love, will you marry me?”

Then, silence.

Even with the gentle play of the music in the background, you never felt the atmosphere as dead as ever. Yoohyeon was frozen in silence, utterly shocked that you reached that degree or even the had the courage to ask her of it. The next minutes were torture to you. She never moved a single muscle nor twitched even a single bit of her hair after you asked for her answer. You were nervous as she never stood that emotionless than before; so dead, so expressionless and so dreadful. It was far worse than her having to reject you right on the spot; telling you that you made a mistake for asking her for marriage on that very dinner.

And yet what you viewed as worst, Yoohyeon did what was far more vile and cruel than that.

She laughed.

At first you thought that she was chuckling out of joy; that the love of your life found the small gesture thoughtful and that she was showing her appreciation for it. It would have been such an adorable conclusion; you would have been really stressed for nothing as she finally gave her confirmation and agreement to be your fiancé and later on your wife…

No, it was not. The laughter that escaped your girlfriend’s lips was maniacal and plunged deeper and deeper onto her mocking you, just the cackle continued on and on and on. You stopped dead; shivers ran down your spine as you witnessed Yoohyeon swat the ring out of your reach and set it crashing onto the ground. It clanged noisily against the wooden floor, bounced with every your hope and love lost with its wreck.

Once she was done mocking you for even daring to propose to her, she gave the answer that was the final nail in the coffin.

“No… why would I do that, my love? Why would I marry a loser such as you? There’s no way!”

And then she proceeded to guffaw as your entire body crumbled in desperation, losing the built-up confidence you took so long to prepare for that night…

---

“S-sorry… you just l-look beautiful…”

Even with that mousy reply, Yoohyeon found the beauty in your words and sensed that something you planned was already in effect. You were never the type who could keep still when something was going on and having known you for years, Yoohyeon could already tell that there was something behind the scenes just by looking at your eyes. However, even if she had her hints she still elected to play along your little game and act blind with your plans. It’s not like going for a candle-lit dinner devoid of any occasion was not suspicious to her at all.

You sat there opposite her as you feel your heart about to burst out of your chest. You had Yoohyeon for years and years and this was the night you planned to tie the knot: you gained traction and finally decided to propose to her and make her yours forever.

It was time for you to marry Kim Yoohyeon.

However, you saw things differently that felt like they were played out like a hole movie; they unfolded in your mind as if they were a premonition of your inevitable defeat and it drove you crazy from the inside-out. You were scared; no, you were terrified of how things would unfold had Yoohyeon decide to reject your proposal. You would lose your only world. You would lose the one thing that made things sensible for you in your unfair existence. You would lose Kim Yoohyeon, the love of your life, and you do not want that to happen ever.

You wanted to be with her forever; be by her side through thick and thin. If there was even a slight chance to get rid of the possibility, you were all for it. That was when your mind went black. You gave in to the demons that were telling you what you should do.

Eyeing the knife that lay on your plate, you shivered as you finally stood up in the imposing silence. Your girlfriend Yoohyeon lay confused at the sudden change of your demeanour as well as the expression that lay on your face. You used to be so pale and worried and now you look so eerily happy; in fact, the smile that was etched on your face was twisted and borderline sadistic and you were echoing a soft yet maniacal cackle.

“M-my love, are you o-okay?” she asked in fear, beginning to stand in reaction to your odd posture. The wooden chair creaked noisily as its feet got dragged across the tainted floor. “M-my love…?”

Her pleas dropped into nothing as your thoughts began fixated on to one thing: if she was the one who could rid of your love for her, then even your precious Yoohyeon should go. You intend to end all possibilities before they even became reality. You were not willing to take the risk only for you to break in the end.

You curved your lips into a deranged smile, grabbing the blade you prepared on the table and gave chase to your poor girlfriend. Yoohyeon looked at you in terror, struck in disbelief at the sudden change of the man she once loved. She did not need more than enough evidence to see that you intend to kill her; a goal that seemingly came off of nowhere. Regardless of the motivation, she scrambled to her feet in attempt to flee through the door of the house you two shared together; the raw thought of you chasing her with a knife seemingly silenced her due to her immediate trauma. She still lingered in disbelief that you could do something similar to her.

The length of your limbs gave you enough advantage that you were able to reach the door before she did, effectively shutting her off from the only remaining access to the outside. You stalked her like a hungry lion and aimed the sharp cutter up high, ready to inflict damage to the woman you once valued with all of your life at the first chance you could get to do it. All Yoohyeon‘s screams dissolved into the evening; the remote place of your house eliminated the possibility for her calling for help and that was what you needed. Eventually, Yoohyeon backed onto a corner… a wall that rendered her virtually unable to escape from your approaching and murderous visage.

“M-my love, please…” she breathed out in attempt to console to her lover within you. She was desperate as she sank onto the floor with her hands up high in surrender. Those small pleas served as the final words that escaped the mouth of your girlfriend, her life flashing before her very eyes.

Your mouth seemingly moved on its own, replying a set of words Yoohyeon never even imagined to escape from your lips.

“Come here my love~ come here you fucking bitch.”

You held on to Yoohyeon’s wrist with excessive force, denying any chance of the woman before you to even escape your clutches. With the blade that you held high on your left hand, you repeatedly released deep and piercing stabs that tore through her skin as the demon finally took over you. Her screams of agony were drowned in repeated struggle; you covering her mouth with you bare hands and her fighting to her best against it. All of that happened while your hand went to do the rest of your bloody work.

Yoohyeon’s pleas and fracas became more and more adamant just as the cold, silver steel continued to puncture her being further and further, leaving wounds all over her once-perfect body. You had nothing else on your mind but to kill; to murder the very girlfriend you were intending to marry mere moments ago, and even more so her appeals went to loose noise as her voice began to lose steam. You two were a scarlet mess with most of her blood splashing on the wall she was leading against. It was a lot of stabs that you lost count of our immense frenzy, and the fall of Yoohyeon’s body was evidence to that deranged trance you underwent in a split second. Her eyes; the very glassy ones that showed you love and affection were now ruined, only showing the terror that you, yourself, had given her poor and decimated soul.

The pair of you lay along the floor in a flood of crimson with you straddling the disembodied mess that was once the body of your girlfriend as soon you finished your work of art. You had no idea if she still had some life with her, yet her eyes were clearly full of sorrow and shock on her last moments. You knew that it was bound to come at that point; the fear caused you to think better of yourself and murder her then and there. However, even with that violent display your demons still were not contented. You wanted to humiliate her even beyond the grave.

Through the sanguine pool around you, you examined the unmoving body of your partner under you. Despite the savage display and the ripples of each and every blow you drove on her body, most of Yoohyeon’s beautiful features were still laid there as her face was left untouched. Bloodied, sure, but you could still make up the astounding features that made her so breath-taking. And then, with the rip that her clothes made you eyed the stab on her very chest, right above her heart. You don’t know what came over you, but you ripped her sternum open with brute strength. You were quickly greeted with the sight of her very heart only moments from losing the beating that gave her life.

That was what you wanted. You wanted her heart quite literally.

You ripped her heart out right before her lifeless eyes, and if ever there was still a bit of life left in her, that was surely the one that sent her to her impending death. It was so inviting; you finally had her heart on your hands and yet you still would not yield with your desires. Having someone else have her muscle on your hands would be your greatest nightmare you could think of. So the best course of action was to deny anyone from ever having it.

Never in your sane mind did you imagine yourself eating the raw heart of a human being, let alone your girlfriend. However, there you were tearing through the thick muscle with your bare teeth like it was nothing. The sheer contact your teeth made against the soft tissue felt immaculate while your taste fell numb. The way that the blood painted your face and body while you took your time consuming Yoohyeon’s heart would terrify anyone else unfortunate enough to walk into you, but you loved the idea that she was finally yours. You were quite lucky that no one else dared to even check on you, or they were just as twisted and heartless as you were for playing deaf with Yoohyeon’s cries of help.

Then again, every chew and tear you made with the mess on your fingers seemed to drive you deeper into madness. You eyed Yoohyeon’s dead body and there were still a lot more… perverted ways that you could do with her. You were essentially corrupted by your own carnal desires. There was so much free moments now that you were alone and even she could not stop you if she wanted to…

---

Days after your macabre art, you spent your hours locked in with yourself with the dead body of Yoohyeon being your sole company in your own twisted world. You cleaned and washed the blood stains off of your beautiful woman, carefully took care of her mangled body and moved to the next stage that your demented mind was telling you. Of course, because the hacks and stabs you made against her body left most of her limp limbs unsightly with the obvious tears on her skin and the occasional gaps, you beckoned yourself to sew her wounds back together with some makeshift needles as well as all the steel wires you could find around your rural household.

One by one, you took your time to secure the rest of her deceased body that she may be whole and functioning like she used to be. The loss of buckets and buckets of blood caused her skin to turn chalk-white, almost borderline grey, only complimenting the periodical stitches you gave her throughout her entire body. Once you were done, Yoohyeon was back to how you remember her being; albeit looking sinister with all the stitches that were distributed all over her body yet still managed that youthful bliss of her beautiful face.

However, even with that excellent display of your creativeness sometimes her body could only take so much. Parts of her body would often fall apart and all that was left to do was to sew them back together. You did not mind. In your head, she looked most perfect than ever. You even danced with her body along with the same jazz music that played while you killed her days prior, all to your hearts’ content. Even until Yoohyeon’s head broke off loose from her neck, you merely sew it back together and went on with your life. That was the celebration for the eternity you intend to spend with her, trapped on the same four corners you had to yourselves for years to come and it was just the first days before it all began.

Then again, you still were not satisfied.

You and Yoohyeon shared a bed a couple of times into your relationship and you were no strangers to the fantasies of sex. However, even with the pleasure and satisfaction you both gave to each other the weakness of the human body always offered a form of limitation. You always had to consider everything that would come every time you and Yoohyeon had sex and admittedly she would often cut you when you clearly wanted more of her. Now, Yoohyeon’s body was pendulous and yielding to you no matter what you wanted of her, and even if you took her to bed for the entire evening she would not complain whatsoever.

You had her dead frame all over your command and you intend to exert every limit you could with her desecrated frame.

As every day unfolded, you almost spent your entire day nude and constantly railing Yoohyeon’s lifeless and stitched body. You thrust your ever needy cock inside the cavity between her legs, feeling the immortal sensation of her naturally squeezing your length all throughout. It was just how she was when she was living, only with the exception of her cold body adding a sense of satisfaction whenever you heated her insides with your friction. You were relentless; intending to fuck her dead and flopping body all over the house to satisfy your needs. You railed her over the bed while you had her legs anchored around you, over the dining table while you positioned her like a dog and rammed her from behind, and even at the back yard whilst the moon and stars lay witness to your perverted and disrespectful ways. You never seemed to care. It took a good while to get used to Yoohyeon’s absence of moans while you continued to pound her but that was perhaps the best part; at least you could get to rail her even with your other neighbors passing by. They would never know what you were doing with her body under the table.

Countless number of times you defiled her dead body and the thrill was already getting to your head; raping her to your heart’s content that she could not even complain of anything with what you do to her even if it would normally hurt her human being. That was the best part. Kim Yoohyeon was your man-made sex-doll, customized and tailored to all your likings and fetishes that you dare not convey to her when she was still alive. In your eyes, you were still fucking Yoohyeon albeit she was on a deep sleep. You knew she felt every trail of semen you shot deep in her womanhood. The sensations were too real that you could sometimes feel a ghost of her moan escaping from her head mouth.

You repeatedly disrespected her body. You applied all sense of sexual fantasies you conjured up on your mind and you dared not to leave anything behind. You tied her; you fucked her from behind, rode her, fucked her mouth, fucked her standing, over the stove, over the dining table, strapped her on, pegged yourself and felt the satisfaction of having your hole expanded like hers… You did anything imaginable until you grew personally tired of her for the day and you would not even hear a simple complaint from her especially as you dumped all your cum all over her holes. You were fulfilled of everything that your warped mind was telling you to do so. You were creative on everything, sure, yet you were corrupted by your very carnal and hellish desires. Your debauched thirsts were more than just quenched, and then when days would pass you would still keep on thinking what else to do with her mangled form. If you had one, then you’d proceed to take her on towards your darker path once again. It went on and on and on until you cannot anymore.

Often times when you would not let Yoohyeon’s freshly fucked body alone on the bed next to you, you would place her on a standing and decorated coffin you made yourself. You made sure that you situated it right next to the television just so you can have a perfect view of her resting body while you enjoyed your shows. Despite being so horrid with her, you still loved the body of your girlfriend. You made sure to place and decorate her coffin with photos of you both, taken when she was still living and clueless of her eventual fate. You took care of her dead body to preserve her look exactly how appeared when she was still alive. It might be out of love that you were doing it and yet you also did not want her to look ‘lifeless’ whenever you engaged on fucking her once again.

That was how your life with Yoohyeon went as the days passed by. You kept her lifeless body preserved and looking young, occasionally taking her to your bedroom to spray on her youth from time to time. All was going so well.

At least, it was going smoothly until you left to gather supplies for your future experiments, refilling your stock as well as your own food. You secured everything in your house thinking that all was safe. Kim Yoohyeon was placed on her coffin just as usual, and you even bid a soft good bye to her body by giving a kiss on her cold lips. You locked your front door, placed a couple of chains and locks to prevent anyone else from discovering your little crime. At the end of the day, you still viewed her as your little treasure; your little piece of heaven.

However, on that silence and amidst the cold and dark living room you left Yoohyeon on, her dead white eyes fixated on the floor devoid of any pupils dissolved into a black mist. She stood there so still, leaning against the left side of your coffin when her body began to twitch and her eyes blinked back to life, hungering and more than eager to finally move at last.

---

The view of the sunset heading to your home was always immaculate. Having to see the final reaches of bright orange day as it fades onto a dark-blue twilight was always a treat considering you don’t get to see it that often. It did felt odd that you did not have Yoohyeon with you as you bring the groceries home for sure. However, the anticipation that her body gave you knowing she was just there waiting for the ‘new adventures’ you intend to do with her lifeless body was as immaculate as the sunset; you felt like a child heading home to your favourite toy. In a sense, that might as well be the case. Someday, you might even get the courage to take her out of your very home.

You quickly unlocked the multitude of chains you had to secure your front door up, eager to finally see Yoohyeon after a long afternoon of going around town without her. The scent that greeted you was different as it was very waxy. You went out a couple of times before and yet you do not remember lighting any candles before you left, so why was that the case now? The familiar burnt wax scent haunted your nostrils and it seemingly grew stronger and stronger as you became closer to freeing the door. You set the heavy chains beside the bags and swung the door fully open.

At first, you deemed the standing figure of Yoohyeon greeting you to be normal at first. It was about the same way that she greeted you whenever you came home from a long day. That heart-warming presence of your girlfriend was already in display, and you even can’t believe how lucky of a man you were for having her greet with you with such warmth and enthusiasm.

But then, there was something blatantly wrong with that.

Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes widened. Yoohyeon was not simply standing at the door’s entrance because you simply forgot to put her back on her coffin, but she was there staring at you with her glaring eyes. They were sharp, black and iris-less yet full of anger that joined the rest of her already ghoulish presence. The stitches you gave her body made her presence increasingly more sinister, quite obvious from the hanging tank top you had her dressed her before you left. You froze, eyes drifting towards the rest of her body in effort to make sense of what you were seeing. Yoohyeon literally looked like a monster that came back from the dead and you could not even move with all that was presented before you.

To your surprise, Yoohyeon’s head tilted gently to the side and that movement caused you to break your stupor and step back in quick and terrorized reflex. Slowly, her deathly visage mimicked the steps you made only hers was moving closer to you, in a still and fearful presence. You moved back further and further, trying to keep your eyes glued to her approaching figure until you eventually tripped on the chains that once held the door shut together.

You scrambled to your feet, panicking to get back only to fall once more. You rushed to fixate your eyes on Yoohyeon’s figure. She reached the door still in the same dead-pan pace while you crawled back using your legs and your hands. Then, your girlfriend’s head straightened again, her death-clad stare surely fixated towards you despite lacking any evidence of emotion before a sadistic smile curved on her pale lips.

“Hello, my love~” she echoed; her voice still had that sweet and sultry tone to her albeit lost in a faint yet monstrous growl.

Yoohyeon‘s body twitched as her movements became erratic… it was as if she was getting used to the new life she had as well as the body that served nothing but cum dump since she died. Each clockwork movement she made had an inch closer to your horrified figure. She was that; the very manifestation of the fears and misbehaving you concurred. You did not even think of how it was even possible for her to come back to life. The mess that was once your girlfriend was a heart-less body that was on its feet and clearly at a loss of all the humanity left. All you could do was flee. There was certainly no sense of trying to reason to a being you could barely even call as Kim Yoohyeon.

You were being chased by a relentless monster; a vengeful soul that possessed the body you repeatedly disrespected. Yoohyeon’s dead and jet-black eyes curved and flared with a murderous intent, and of course her only target being you.

Once again, you scrambled to get on your feet, sending dust and dirt to the air as your feet desperately tried to clamour over the pavement. You managed to gain ground by knocking over the groceries you once brought home, and they were unfortunately left in a tired mess in front of your doorstep. The heart beating faster inside your ribcage almost rivalled the pace that you took knowing your life was in danger. You glanced back once you felt like you gave yourself a decent distance from her, only to find Yoohyeon breaking in your pick-up truck of which you haplessly disregarded amidst the ensuing chaos and panic.

“Where are you going, my love? Aren’t you going to say ‘hi’ to me?” You heard her taunting call throughout the commotion as the truck roared to life, followed by the sound of her insane laughter. If you were not yet running fast, by then you surely were at the moment you heard the truck heading towards your direction. The limited heads and eyes of your neighbours were even discarded as you ran for your life, exiting the quiet and remote village onto the dirt road ahead.

Your legs brought you onto the nearby forest, exiting the dirt road once you heard the truck coming to a close. Twigs, broken branches, and shrubs rustled under your sprinting feet while you wade through the uneven terrain, making sure to give a good glance towards your back every once a while. You heard a loud crash, perhaps coming from the truck that Yoohyeon drove to get to you; but even with that you still kept your pace thriving deeper and deeper onto the jungle of trees and passing by overgrown roots as well as thickets.

Yoohyeon’s voice once again echoed as if she had the entire forest bewitched for you to hear her voice. It was either that, or the bone-chilling hiss of her vindictive expression was playing right inside your head. It was more than enough to slow you down, make your knees weak and yet you pursued for the sake of the illusion of escape.

“My loooooove~ Where are you my looooove?”

You lost track of the path you were taking on as the skies dissolved into the faint darkness of the approaching evening. All you saw seemed to have been in a deep shade of blue; all details of the forest vague on your bare eyes. The ground under you were barely even showing itself as you ran over it; torn between keeping the pace up with the noise of the twigs below you and keeping your journey as quiet as you possibly could. Even the presence of Yoohyeon inside the forest with you seemed to have been brought out of your system with you solely focusing your efforts on navigating the labyrinthine greenery.

“My loooooove~”

You immediately snapped your gaze on your back the moment you heard Yoohyeon l’s voice again, closer and quite approaching you that time around. You eyed every sliver of light you could make out between the trees, hoping to find evidence of her movement but to no avail. The night started to get deeper as the twilight bled onto the eventual evening. It would only be a matter of time before Yoohyeon’s possessed and angry corpse would be close to your disadvantaged mortal figure.

You hurried your attention back towards the direction you were running at, only for you to be stopped dead on your tracks by a deep and quick blow striking you right at the right side of your stomach.

It took a second for you to realize what even had happened. The sight of the deathly presence of Kim Yoohyeon l right next to you, all in her stitched-up and horrifying aspect, was the answer you were dearly looking for. You looked at her dead-on her life-less eyes; the void of her all-black sclera now appearing more sinister amidst the impending darkness along with the dreadful presence of her mangled body. You froze; it was as if all sense of motor movement on your body left you as you stared on Yoohyeon in disbelief. Her hand cradled the handle of a branch.

You began to shake as the blow felt more than connected to your own. There was heat; searing warmth that you’ve never felt before lay on the perimeter of the blow and it slowly became dead cold. You traced Yoohyeon’s outstretched hand and she held a thick and angled branch, its end pierced inside you with a deep wound.

Your eyes lingered towards Yoohyeon’s once again with your shocked gaze appealing to the sense of humanity in her. You hoped there were still some left inside her chalky anterior. However, Yoohyeon’s lacerated face supplied you with a grin; her lips curving from ear to ear accentuated by the small seams on her face. The horror began to bite in you; no sense of appeal to her would even get you out of that. The painful truth began to shed its face to you just as the pain of the wood against your bare skin began to manifest itself.

Yoohyeon, with utmost incredible force, pulled the thicket from your body and thrust onto you once more, sending a spurt of blood over her face. You screamed in agony and yet your voice was drowned amidst the dark trees. You felt strength leave your body, holding on to Yoohyeon’s free arm with a quick shake of your entire being. Your then-girlfriend held onto you in return, but she merely used your hand as leverage to pull the stabbed thicket out and pierce it through your body once again. On and on it went, Yoohyeon mimicking the same degree of savagery you displayed when you murdered her, but with her newfound strength it drove the feeling harder and harder for your body to tolerate. In moments time you were already falling down with weakness taking over you.

You had no idea at what point during her rampage that you felt numb to her forces. You might have been desensitized with the consecutive blows that came your way, causing you to lose ground and fall to your knees with the pool of blood showering beneath your feet. Your body became uncontrollable and you cannot help but fixate your eyes on Yoohyeon’s figure towering over your body as you fell on your back; knees still bent on that awkward angle.

You could not even speak as blood gurgled out of your mouth with your desperate attempts. You knew that you should have been dead by then, and yet as punishment for your previous deeds towards Yoohyeon, your senses remained well. You could still see her approach your body and kneel beside your destroyed frame. It felt like a fevered dream at that point; you were merely there to watch what she was about to do to the remnants of your body. You were quite literally unable to stop what she has in mind. If she was intending to inflict the same degree you did to her, you could only do so much and watch.

Yoohyeon raised her right hand, nails shining in the darkness like sharp talons, and quickly plunged her hand straight through your ribcage with one quick crack of your sternum and rib bones. All of her prior stabs that evening dissolved towards the end. However, it was that one pierce; that one particular that Yoohyeon did with her bare hands reaching for your heart, felt the most painful of them all. You watched in horror as Yoohyeon pulled your heart out right before your eyes, equally engulfing your body in a pool of blood under the moon and stars. You gazed onto her until the life faded out of your frame; the sight of your girlfriend with your heart on your hands being the last thing you saw before your eyes closed involuntarily. It was enough for you to see Yoohyeon devour and indulge on the heart situated on her very hands. You were dead. You know you were already dead and yet you still felt like you were falling onto a deep abyss after what had just happened…

---

The transition from your apparent death to what followed came quicker than you expected. There was nothing certain about what comes after death; it becoming the end-all be-all of one’s life might yield onto a promise of an immortal life. However, just as you felt falling to your death after just being killed by Yoohyeon. You felt like you entered a dream-like state that lasted for a couple of minutes followed by a quick state of stillness. Your consciousness was telling that you were falling beforehand and when everything came to a stop, you never felt your feet hit solid ground. The fall was a dream and you felt your eyes close while you leaned onto a desk.

All the thoughts of previous events were already behind you as it all dissolved into a fevered mush. You were seated and you knew it, feeling the hard wood that your head and body was dearly leaning on. In a quick rush, you opened your eyes and you were immediately greeted by a familiar sight.

The hint of burning candlewax lingered strongly onto the open air of your apartment, apparently still in pristine shape after all that misbehaviours you did previously. Even that was beyond you now. You only took what you were sensing for what it was. It was the apartment you and Yoohyeon lived on, only void of the obvious furniture that added a lot of space to it. There was only the empty table you were sleeping on, the wooden chair you sat onto, and finally the single piano that seemed to be playing the same melody on the evening you slaughtered and dehumanized your own girlfriend. Hearing that rang no real bells to you as confusion primarily ruled on your calm consciousness.

You began to stand up and take a feel of things, call for your girlfriend and ask her what was going on. However, you cannot move your mouth to even speak. You tried and yet there was no sound coming out. A small layer of panic began to coat over your questionable stay whilst you began to take a walk. However, you were greeted by a gruesome sight invisible to you when you first woke up from your bizarre dream, only now that it felt more realistic than any dream or illusion could convey.

The ground on your feet was filled in with burning wood. Charred logs lingered all around you upon the realization that the ligneous floor of your apartment began combusting onto oblivion; sending sparks and ash all over your surroundings. You ran your eyes towards the rest of the place and even the walls of your humble apartment began to combust and engulf the entire interior with angry, blazing fire. The walls, the table near you, even the chair that you sat on was burning with hot flames. What used to be windows of your cabin with Yoohyeon were now glowing with hot and resentful fire.

However, despite the abundance of blazing material around you the orange dance of the heat was nothing to you. There was no immediate reaction to flee or even the sensation of pain. In fact, there was no immediate reaction as you felt nothing with the inferno that surrounded you.

Confused and unable to speak your curious steps began to tread you closer towards the fiery glass-less windows of your apartment in the hopes that it might give you the answers you need. You came proximate and slowly peered through the fire and the flames, only for the silhouette of burning hands clawing at the surface of an ocean of heat to greet you; some even making their way towards the safety of your own cabin.

You tread back as you felt fear overcome your curiosity, not even minding the now-audible pleas and screams of help that came from the distance. Your eyes were not deceiving you and at that point you could have wished that they did. In that stillness and the retreat out of fear that you made from the door, your senses were greeted by an immediate presence lingering behind you. You never felt anything from the entity’s end and yet you already knew you were with someone, apparently appearing out of thin fire as the rest of the apartment seemingly came from. You quickly turned, noticing how even your own body appeared to be burning yet devoid of any pain or sensation on your skin as well, and fixated your gaze on the newcomer that joined your confused being.

It was none other than your own girlfriend and doomed fiancé-to-be, Kim Yoohyeon.

She stood there as beautiful as ever; her body restored to its former beauty before you ever desecrated her for your own sadistic purpose. Yoohyeon’s once paper-fair complexion was there once again as her skin was finally rid of the ties and stitches you did to put it together. Her presence seemingly glowed and radiated amidst the already bright and deafening place of your apartment ablaze. She was dressed on an equally dazzling white wedding dress, stretching from laced patterns that covered her sleeves and the long cloth that covered beyond her legs and feet. A veil separated you from ever witnessing the rest of her pretty face.

“Yoohyeon, my love… you look so beautiful,” you mused in awe and your loving girlfriend supplied you with a keen smile. You never knew you could even speak and seemingly the sight of your girlfriend already broke that curse within you. “You’re here… you’re with me. You’re with me, my love~”

You began to take your steps closer to where she was standing. There was that hunger, or rather desire, as well as elation to finally see her amidst the questionable place you were on. Aside from the familiar scenery of your apartment, Yoohyeon was the only thing familiar amidst the sea of hell that was lay outside of the door. Having the comfort of seeing her would be better if you could finally embrace her. You knew that you missed seeing her even if you had a vague memory of when you even last saw her.

You were about at arms’ length from Yoohyeon when you saw her face transition from her former stoic and emotionless smile to a face that was as long as a fiddle. For a moment’s thought, Yoohyeon’s gloom was evident on her figure before the rest of her body entirely combusts, engulfing her in a pillar of flame that sent you hurtling back towards the floor she found you on.

After that scramble, you brushed the relative smoke that formed on her ignition and quickly got to your feet with utmost effort. You scrambled to get up and finally fixated your eyes on Yoohyeon’s burning figure, only for the flames that hugged her body slowly disintegrate into thin air, leaving the sight of horror that was familiar to your ever-twisted memory.

Yoohyeon stood there on her true form just how you recalled when she killed you. Skin dead as snow, body full of stitches and ties that bound it together, and lips curved into a sadistic smile, and her blackened eyes fixated their void stare back at your mangled figure. The rest of her wedding dress was now burnt and singed all throughout, leaving you a more sinister and terrifying look at your dead fiancé. You were wide-eyed, shocked, and perhaps even fearful for your life. The horrors you left on your living body seemingly haunting you even in the afterlife.

“What’s the matter, my love?” Yoohyeon spoke in that same sweet and sultry tone dissolved into a feral and shadowy growl. “How come that little enthusiasm is now lost on your face? Do you not like me when I look like this?”

Your jaws trembled upon the presence of her. Your knees felt weak and unable to move; not to mention that the former chilling cold of the burning place now began to warm up to you. You stared on Yoohyeon’s figure dead on, terror and regret flashing on your eyes with her pitiful yet imposing figure.

“My love…” you began to squeak but even that ability to talk was lost on your fright.

“Do you not like me when I look like this, my love?” Yoohyeon repeated her question. Her body then rose from the ground and drifted closer to where you were standing, and you could not help but stand there in remorse with the sheer evidence of the lustful and criminal sins wavering straight at your fore front. You could not even look at Yoohyeon straight in on her blackened eyes.

Yoohyeon could absolutely kill you again with that stare of hers even if you’ve already died.

“How come you cannot answer my question? You were the one who made me like this, right? You’re supposed to love me now, especially when I’m shaped to how you desired. Why are you so held in disbelief?”

“My l-love…”

“ANSWER ME!”

Yoohyeon’s sudden change in tone, her grotesque accent contributing to her already hideous appearance set you on your knees. You were weak; vulnerable in front of the woman you once claimed that you love. Yoohyeon had her long and sharp fingernails bared on her sides as she hovered over your small being. You had no idea what else she could do to you. She already killed you in cold blood, took your heart out, and ate it too to match your misbehaving with her body. What more could she do to punish you?

That was when the ground around you began to move. The burning wood that you remember you were standing on became a wide pile of skulls, each burnt black like charcoal in an open fire. Slowly, a combination of charred and burning hands began to rise from the hulk of death around you, reaching for you desperately as you panicked to get your feet out from their grasp.

“Fuck, no…! No please! Not like this!” You pleaded towards Yoohyeon’s waiting stance. She could only do much as watch you as you were slowly pulled in by the exposed arms.

Despite your struggles, the grasp of the undying souls were too much even for your fickle mind. You began to sink slowly onto the burnt skills as more and more burnt arms grab you from below, dragging you onto the eventual unrest that was a consequence of your actions from the world of the living.

“No, Yoohyeon, my love! Please…! Help me…! I’m sorry…!” You pleaded towards her once you were already waist-deep amidst the scattered bones. Echoes of disorder and screaming were audible from your ears, and yet Yoohyeon was there only to watch you get devoured by your own words.

The arms rapidly overcame you and quickly pulled on you down like a quicksand. You felt heat on your feet as hands began to grasp on your shoulders. It would only be a matter of time before you…

“Yoohyeon… please, forgive me! Please don’t let this happen to me,” you pleaded once more. Your entire body was already buried with the bones and the arms were rapidly overwhelming your head. One more arm and you can no longer see the floating figure of Kim Yoohyeon before you. “Please…! Yoohyeon! Please…! I’ll do anything for you to forgive me…! I’ll do anything to make it up to you, I promise!”

“What will you do, my love?” she finally asked. Your hands were desperately crawling for her, throwing the reaching arms off of your sight. The entire apartment was gone, and all you could see was Yoohyeon standing amidst the valley of bones with nothing but fire all around her. “What will you do to get my forgiveness?”

“I will do anything! Please, just give me one more chance and I will make it up to you! Please…. Don’t let me die like this… I will be with you forever just to make it up to you! I will take an eternity to even try and make it up for my mistakes, please!”

 “That’s not long enough.”

“My love, I will suffer for so long!”

“I pray to God that you do.”

You twitched as your jaw was attempted to be held.

“Please…! I’ll do anything then… I’ll do anything… I’ll do whatever you want me to do, please just save me my love… please!”

You were finally overwhelmed. You reached an arm out as your face and sight was covered. Yoohyeon was the final thing you saw before everything went black. You were counting on her final hold as you reached your hand out in desperation. It was a final attempt and yet it was proven to be futile.

And then, everything felt dead around you.

The force that was pulling you down the sea of bones was gone. You stopped from ever descending as your body was merely lingering amidst an ocean of skulls. You brushed the skeletal remains off of your face to provide you better sight, and once again you were inside that familiar empty apartment where you and Yoohyeon resided; the walls and ground were now black as if they were just extinguished from a previous burnout.

You crawled out of the skeletal pit and were immediately greeted by the sight of Yoohyeon standing before you once again. The entire apartment was dark, safe for the small glow that her undead body offered for you both.

“I will let you do that then,” she said while you went off and knelt opposite her. “Spend an eternity with me; trying to make up for all the sins you did to me and my life. I will let you do that because I still believe of your love for me. I’ll grant you… one chance. That’s all that I’ll give. And if it’s not enough…”

“If it’s not enough…?”

Yoohyeon drifted her figure close to you and pulled you by the collar of your shirt, and forced you inches above the floor. You could only do so much as to keep your eyes glued onto her immense visage; staring intently onto the grotesque figure of her eyes.  Both of her dead and blackened eyes were gazing back at you. Even through that void of irises you know that Yoohyeon was pleading to the little humanity left on your now repenting figure.

Slowly, her lips began to tremble. There was something definitely gruesome seeing how her lips curved and move this close, especially with the stitches around her beautiful face that added that level of sinister to her.

“You will try again… again… and again… and again... until the end of time. You will spend the rest of your soul’s existence trying to make up for what you did to me; to bring what you stole with everything that you got. You have to do this, or there would be no peace forever. That is what I want, my love, because in the end… you may have destroyed my humanity but I still love you. I still want to be with you forever, even if it means that we would be doing the same thing over and over again. If you really want to get my forgiveness that is what I want you to do,” she finished. Yoohyeon made sure to give you a small shake to emphasize her point. “It’s that or you can stay here and burn forever.”

You nodded without a second’s hesitation and even gave the most kind-hearted smile you could have ever given your fiancé even before you descended down to the path to madness. Even in that moment, despite all of your sins Yoohyeon finally saw the good in you. You were driven by fear; driven by the cowardice that led to both of your undoing. None of this would have ever happened had you not let your thoughts consume you from the inside out.

“I concur. I’ll happily take that if it means that I will be with you forever. I love you, my Yoohyeon. I love you forever.”

And then, Yoohyeon’s monstrous image produced a gesture you would not even think possible for a being like her. She shed tears. She wept.

You found a single tear drop from her eye. What normally would be a clear, tone of clear liquid that would spill down from a human being was pitched black from Yoohyeon. It should be petrifying to say the least, yet Yoohyeon’s jet-black tears coming from her equally jet-black eyes only emphasized her softness hiding amidst that tough and grisly shell.

You reached out to give Yoohyeon a tight hug despite being suspended in mid-air by her support. That action seemingly caught her off guard and yet she returned the gesture nonetheless. However, as much as you surprised her with your sudden intimate embrace, Yoohyeon returned the favour by doing something off as well. You no longer cared whether what was supporting you up or so; logic and realism were definitely not of that world. You let your hands go as you felt Yoohyeon snake her arms around your neck, engaging you in a deep and torrid kiss that would was rightful for the place that the two of you had for your own.

You felt the fire. The heat that once seared the surroundings was now adamant between you both. You and Yoohyeon burned; sharing a kiss that felt so long since you two both had for each other. Kisses after kisses were what spent the rest of your conscious self on that place. It was passionate, lustful and hungry even, and unbelievably very much full of love. You felt Yoohyeon’s burning presence as the fire consumed you both. It was the end of the road. You and Yoohyeon finally had a bond that tied you to each other forever.

The only thing left was to solidify your vows in a ceremony to make things official once and for all.

And as you and Yoohyeon made out in the middle of literal hell, you had your eyes closed with only one thing in mind:

It was finally time to come back.

---

Sometime after you and Yoohyeon’s doomed relationship spread through the local town like an urban legend, none of the townsfolk ever saw either the two of you to prove it false. That alone led then to believe that the rumours about you both were true; you both fell after being consumed by your own lust for each other and eventually died on each other’s arms without anything or anyone else. However, the impact that you two made on the local populace was strong as it could have ever been. It was suffice to say that there were still some of them that believed you two were prowling in the evening and the darkness, lurking in the shadows and looking for your next victim with the twisted, almost satirical premise they gave you both.

Especially since the local cemetery found an unregistered grave not that long ago. It was a simple pile of soil devoid of tombstones situated on a collection of stone enclosed graves. The eeriness of the appearance of said pile intrigued most of your local neighbours and yet no one truly had the courage to dig it up, fearing of what they could unleash from within. It was not a sound decision especially with your haunting rumour circulating around town.

You were glad that that was the case. It was the place where Yoohyeon put your mangled body after she claimed your heart for her own. It was a grave she expertly dug herself using her bare hands, hiding it from everyone after that fated night that you lost your first life. And now, Yoohyeon’s haunting figure lurked amongst the darkness of the quiet evening eagerly watching any display of movement from your grave. She knew you would come. Some way, some where you’d finally come back as you promised her. It was what was necessary to fulfil the eternal contract and bond of making it up for your sins.

And so, there was the sign she was dearly looking for. The grave she had your body on finally shifted; the first layers of soil above gently moving, dancing amidst the dead of the tombstones surrounding you.

You finally felt yourself jolt awake; the first signs of movement was to fish for a light coming from the faint moon. You felt the dirt all over your body as Yoohyeon never placed you under a coffin after all. You reached out and felt the incredible strength that the new life had brought with you, and slowly you made your way out of the solitary confinement. You repeatedly clawed your hands up from the ground until you reach the cold, evening air; the soft sounds of faint church hymns echoing amidst the distance.

Once you had the dirt away from sealing your body within the earth, you finally stood up and admired the new life you have been given. Your legs felt wobbly and unstable at first, and when you proceeded to look at your hands you finally found the answer as to why that was the case.

Your hands showed early signs of rotting flesh. Your hands were almost greenish-grey from being confined under for too long; your faded and filthy clothes even showed that time has passed since then. Some of your skin had already fallen off from your body. Your nails were dead as well, and yet you did not care. You were happy to even be alive once again even if just as a living and heartless corpse. You had that unwavering need; it was as if you had that insatiable desire to hate the living. Your now undead existence was dedicated to being with your Yoohyeon and that was all that you wanted.

And of course, she was there at the distance waving for you to come to her. She still had that same repulsive appearance and yet you now felt so belong with her. You became a monster as well. It was a small price to pay for your resurrection and you were more than willing to accept it. This was your form forever more; the form you would spend with Kim Yoohyeon until the end of time.

The distant church bells rang amidst the distance once again and you knew that it was calling to the two of you. You fixated your gaze onto her figure once more and she knew you had the same thing in mind. She waved the severed head of a guard she just murdered; ripped from the upper jaw away from the rest of his body while she smiled towards you. Despite the grotesque appearance, you were not fazed by it by any means. You even welcomed the sight as you felt an odd sense of satisfaction with how gruesome and brutal your fiancé was. After all, it was just the start.

And so, you and Yoohyeon marched closer towards the church to gate-crash an on-going night wedding. You held hand-in-hand, eager to seal the deal once and for all and intending to brutally murder anyone who stands on your way.

“I’ve come back my love,” you said, and even your voice has changed into a hideous growl. “We’ll live forever, my Yoohyeon. We’ll be together until the world falls.”

“You and I both know how we should start this,” Yoohyeon responded, locking her fingers on yours as you both walked the darkness after tossing the severed head aside. “Let’s have a wedding on that little church there. I bet there are a lot of people waiting for us inside.”

“We don’t need audience, do we? It should just be you and me. Let’s have a wedding and get rid of the rest.”

Yoohyeon nodded.

“Let’s start the killing then, my love. Kill for me.”

---

The orchestral sound of the town’s nearby cathedral was a testament to a wedding being held with the fall of the afternoon. The night’s peak was about to come and the evening could never have been better for the couple standing in front of the cathedral’s altar; music blaring all over its halls. Its blossoming and commanding rhythm drove excited anticipation amongst their colleagues and friends waiting on the benches. The ceremony has been done; all that was left was the vow that would seal them forever. The young man looked at his wife with utmost enthusiasm; even if they were separated by a veil, soon all would be gone and they would be one. The elderly priest beside them began to position himself for the final highlight of the evening when they heard the doors of the church close with a thud.

Each of the wedding’s visitors turned their heads towards the two figures holding hand-in-hand standing on the entrance. One was a rather tall woman with a bloody machete in hand. The visible stitches on her pale-skinned body sent shivers to them, more so emphasized once the people realized she had all dead black orbs for her eyes. Next to her stood a man that was about as tall as she was, skin already botched and greyish with some parts torn to show the dead flesh and muscle that lay beneath. You stood there with an equally imposing stature as Yoohyeon beside you; your eyes now devoid of irises as you had that lifeless white-eyed terrifying gaze. What caught your audience’s attention the most was the chainsaw you held on your hand, raising it without any sense of strain or obvious effort thanks to your undead strength.

“Should we kill all of them, my love?” You asked towards Yoohyeon, placing your arm on the crank of the said chainsaw. “We can make this place beautiful for our wedding, my love. We can turn this tawdry setting into red and you know it.”

“Do as you please. Red is a power colour, and I would love to see it as a motif,” Yoohyeon commanded. “Kill as much as you want, but leave the groom and bride to me. I have better plans for them. Let’s give them one killer show.”

You smiled as you watched Yoohyeon raise the machete above her head. She gave one quick swing and threw the blade all across the room, and thanks to her superhuman strength it flew towards the altar without fail. It spun in circles like a chakram while tracing its path, eventually making its way towards the groom with such velocity that it ricocheted towards the altar and fell towards the floor.

The spectators could only watch in horror as the groom’s head split cleanly off of his neck before rolling towards the floor, sending a flurry of blood and gore showering in front of the priest as well as the petrified wife next to them. His disembodied body began to limp forward and fall towards the floor, signalling the panic of the onlookers that came from the gruesome sight. The chairs were evacuated as each person attempted to flee through the side doors. Unfortunately for them, you and Yoohyeon took care of all the escape routes in silence while everyone was too occupied on the ceremony beforehand, and now all that was left was for the two of you to claim your victims on one impending carnage; the first mass-murder for your first night reborn.

You pulled the crank and your chainsaw roared to life; and you can’t help but grimace as the people flee at the sound of you, which is exactly what you wanted of them.

“We are tonight’s entertainment!” You taunted before you and Yoohyeon, plunged into the crowd to commit your mass murdering spree.

You swung your chainsaw through every single body that you could reach. You tore through their flesh like it was nothing, and that was thanks to your inhuman vigour. You bisected every person your blade could reach while you laughed in glee at your ghoulish artwork. It was suffice to say that you painted the rest of the chairs for that wedding day on a red motif, bathing the elegant ribbons and ties they set up on the grand aisles with a bath of blood from their own spectators. Man, woman, no matter how old or how young, you never gave any sort of remorse as you murdered through them all. You wanted them all dead for Yoohyeon to admire and that was precisely what you were aiming to accomplish. Your satisfaction relished on the amount of blood on the floor, the torn limbs you made and the screams that they gave before you took them out of their misery.

Your saw got jammed with the amount of flesh it ripped and tore through but even that did not stop you from continuing what you were doing. As far as you were concerned, that anger and rage was more than enough for you to do a lot of killing, even more so that there was too much to do during that point.

Yoohyeon, on the other hand, took on her share of killing by using her bare hands. She threw people with incredible brawn through the premises of the church. If that was not enough, she even made sure that she impaled a couple of bodies on the chandelier, hanging by their impaled heads and shaking the lighting of the wedding down to a minimum, and she made sure to do that while reserving her last kill of that evening for the bride.

Bodies upon bodies were lying mangled all over the cathedral’s vitiated and tormented floor. Broken and deformed benches were the testament to both you and Yoohyeon’s immense power. The once scream-filled inside of the church were now overwhelming with silence as you and your fiancé Yoohyeon bathed on the success of your mass execution. Even the body of the dead musician responsible for the orchestral tone of the grand piano was made sure to lie dead on the keyboard, echoing a long and lasting rhythm akin to horns that was sure to haunt the vicinity of that very cathedral.

And now, just as Yoohyeon had promised the only remaining person to butcher was the bride.

However, even if Yoohyeon had not decided to end her right away, she might as well be good as dead with everything that her eyes have witnessed. The human mind could only take so much, and the torment presented before her left her in a state of shock that she could barely even speak or think.

You positioned yourself on the bloodied mess of her headless-husband’s body, kicking him off and taking his place for your own. You made sure to give a soft, seemingly insulting nod towards the elderly priest who lay witness to all of your crimes yet did not seem to be very fazed by your very existence. All you did at that moment was watch as Yoohyeon finally approached the cowering bride’s figure, seated on the foot of the altar with her dress decorated with splatters of crimson sanguine. She had her hands over her ears but you were sure that she heard every single scream the dead produced moments ago.

“It’s going to be okay,” Yoohyeon mused towards the fearful woman, caressing her beautiful curls with her own, stitched hands. Your fiancé even more so did as much as to slowly wipe the tear on her cheek before she undid the veil that was on top of the bride’s head.

“I’ll put this to good use, I promise,” she added, carefully placing the blood-spattered veil over her own head and arranging it on a manner that was perfect for her. You watched as Yoohyeon carefully wiped the lipstick on the woman’s lips, smudging the hot red with her fearfully pale face. She placed her palm over the young woman’s forehead while she plunged two of her fingers inside the woman’s lips, grabbing her lower jaw for leverage.

Once quick rip followed by the sound of torn skin and broken bones equated to the bride’s head being severed by the jaw. The remnants of her head fell and rolled towards the floor like her would-be husband’s, and her headless body finally slid off towards the ground in a pool of scarlet life.

Yoohyeon dusted the small splash of her ichor on her body and moved to pick up the mess of flowers that the bride left beside her. With a smile, Yoohyeon finally ended the killing spree you both have started, and now finally stood in front of the altar with your waiting grasp. The elderly priest glared at the sight of two murderers in front of him.

“Sorry for that show there. We’re ready to be one. Bless us and we’ll make this quick and painless,” Yoohyeon said once she was in position. The audacity that the both of you showed, having murdered every single person in front of the priest was now evident, especially when you even asked the priest to bless whatever macabre goals you both had in mind.

Sensing his lack of choice and perhaps accepting that death was already knocking at his old door already anyway, the elderly priest shifted his eyes between you and Yoohyeon and finally spoke. The deep tone of the suspended music serving as a chorus as well as a rhythm for you and Yoohyeon’s wedding vows.

“Very well then,” the priest replied with a gravelling tone. He turned his attention towards Yoohyeon’s waiting figure and began to pronounce the words while he added a small modification to the standard vow:

“Do you take this man in death for the rest of your unnatural life?”

“Yes I do,” replied Yoohyeon while not taking her eyes off of your waiting leer.

The priest then turned towards you.

“Do you take this woman in death for the rest of your unnatural life?”

“I do.”

“I now pronounce you husband and wife for the rest of this eternity. You may now kiss your bride.”

“I love you, Kim Yoohyeon, in death, in unrest, and for the rest of this life forever.”

“I love you too; in death, in unrest and for the rest of this life forever.”

You blatantly ignored the compasses that the priest has given your bond, and you merely pulled the same diamond ring that was the root cause for all that happened between you and Yoohyeon. You knelt and finally, two lifetimes apart and one dead body on top of the other, you managed to slip the very ring onto Yoohyeon’s middle finger.

That was it. The unnatural union was done and there were no do-overs. The curse that you wrought upon each other was inadvertently the start for something that was bizarrely beautiful. The church murder was a testament; an undying proof of your never-ending devotion with the endless love for your now loving wife, Kim Yoohyeon. There were still a lot to do. There were still a lot of bodies left to kill in order to satiate your mutual desire for death and the union was there to begin everything in its proper place.

And just as you and Yoohyeon had your foreheads leaning onto one another, feeling the moment that took literally life and death to achieve once and for all, you realized you had to uphold her end of the bargain.

You took a swift thrust on your right without warning and quickly took the heart of the priest out of his own body. You both witnessed as the elderly priest supplied a look void of surprise as he clearly saw this coming with pure angry expectation. However, before his body fell to the ground and the final remnants of his life left the shell of his taut body, he was quick to give you and Yoohyeon a raised middle finger. That was something that both of you were amused on before settling on a quick kiss.

And so, the church bells rang along with the rhythm of the pressed grand piano. You and Yoohyeon walked one bloody hand on the other, waltzing with joy as the blood pooled on your feet and messed your steps with trails of crimson. Yet you both did not care. The town before you would have the night of their lives as the couple of you would bring the terrible rumour up to truth at last.

Your legend with Kim Yoohyeon lived up to its name and one could even argue that the story did not do you justice. The tale of two lovers who fell and came back now attempting to quench their never-ending thirst for blood, aptly called now as husband and wife. The church was just a small stage to set-up for your even greater audience. You spent the next nights and days terrorizing the local townsfolk; slaughtering each and every human being you could find in the most gruesome way you two could think of, and the killings brought joy to both you and Yoohyeon’s sadistic faces.

On top of that, you continued on to move and act like everything was normal; that you and Yoohyeon were just two newly-wedded people enjoying what the gore and the grisly has to offer. The disembowelled and dishevelled bodies of your victims were never left as is. You would often take their severed heads, internal organs, even eyes and limbs to pose for Yoohyeon to take a picture of before you mutually consumed them for your own satisfaction. Both of your favourite was drinking from a straw while it was pierced on a severed head, especially with its brains exposed for you to feast on. Then again, it was way too early on your twisted journey to settle for something you favoured in particular.

The physical absence of both your hearts caused you to stomach everything that you did but even then you knew that that was not entirely true. You had each other’s heart, for the most part anyway, and on that regard you know that you would never lose Yoohyeon again and so does she to you. It was one less reason to cry. Everybody had to die at some point and you two were never an exception. However, in that death you found the very thing that bound you together forever. You fell apart and that new life was your new start. After all, spending an eternity trying to find the satisfaction in the flesh and the macabre did not seem so bad after all, especially if you get to spend it with your love Kim Yoohyeon.

At least in that regard you could say that you and Yoohyeon lived happily ever after.

---THE END---

Authornim: Now that was a trip now, wasn’t it?

Like I said, this story was based on an 8-minute song called ‘A Little Piece of Heaven’ performed by Avenged Sevenfold. If you have interests on checking the song out and how it relates to this particular piece, I do recommend you watch the music video as it gives better context rather than just listening to the song as-is. Plus, it makes the song a lot better in my opinion. If you made it through the end of this story, then that animated MV would be fine for you.

Like I said at the beginning of the chapter, I did up tone some of the narrative here to fit my storytelling method. I guess you can see the comparison once you watch it.

Thank you so much for reading this particular piece and see you on the next update!

[480pfootage]

as a realistic creepypasta writer (or at least, i try with how difficult it is), i completely agree with you. it's not okay at all to only interpret the characters as evil because of their mental illnesses, rather than saying they'd be abusive because they're serial killers.

it's literally up to each person in this community whether they wanna stick to a version of the stories they've heard before, or write/illustrate their own. it's practically impossible to follow a set canon unless someone has made a consistent one or you do it yourself in this fandom.

cause, these fictional serial killers can be as emotionally complex as you want, or they could have little to no depth if that's the person's preference. i personally prefer realistic characters but i do not give a shit if i see some slendermansion on my dash. i love the original stuff to death.

personally, i find it more aligned to my personal canon that jeffrey is more of an extreme asshole for defense mechanisms because of how many times he's been hurt. sure, he may be a serial killer, but he still cares for people that have managed to sneak their way past his stone walls. behind the hurt, he's a playful prankster that'll beat up anyone that touches you.

hope you enjoyed my rant! :) it's not directed towards anyone in particular, i just felt like dropping it here since i have a pretty strong opinion on your post. feel free to completely disagree with me if you'd like. remember, it depends on your own interpretation of canon and how you view the characters. stay happy and love jtk! <3

yup exactly as you said it

everyome has their own interpretation of the pastas because there's no canon!! I think i ranted about this in a post a bit back lol

but like I said I am a HATER and i dislike people who have a different opinion than me and I like whining about things that annoy me lol

minor unrelated note i dont understand why people think i don't see jeff as an asshole.. he is one... just not an abusive one you losers.... read my tags...........

[jade-of-mourning]

ACTIVELY PASSING AWAY!!!

the post you linked is actually the exact one I remembered?? yeah. I don’t have extensive thoughts on it either but I’m so happy you helped me find it again!! :)

I’m just gonna plop the little coherence I have of bending-related strangeness (not quite body horror) here:

firebenders, given their emotions often fuel their bending, cry fire/embers on occasion, trigger the ozone-feel of lightning when intensely afraid, etc. this makes more sense in my head but the idea of bending sources being more. physically linked to the bender is. sooo. and earthbenders thrive from their connection to the earth so I propose: earthbenders are always a little bit filthy, there’s always a little dirt somewhere, because the lack of it is psychologically agonizing. earthbenders from the 100 yr war with scars filled in with tightly packed earth. save me earthbenders with scars filled in with tightly packed earth.* earthbenders learning to bend each other from scar-fillings like a funky little earthbender-specific modified bloodbending,,, waterbenders having literal water filling their lungs because they move with the tide, the tide moves with them, within them, a cohesive, cohabiting unit. airbenders who compact air with each breath to be lighter, more connected to every sound and smell and sight carried on the breeze but separated from it all the same.

*I also have mako+bolin thoughts about that. so remember how I was yapping abt how mako (and bolin, by extension, would be physically realllyy fucked up? mako’s not technically an earthbender, but,,, ek genes,, and the brothers having matching creepy ass scars that freak the krew out a little bit but none of them really talk abt it,,,

yeah so that’s my thoughts on that!!

however I’m not done with you yet. I have au thoughts (again, to whose surprise?) so I’m kind off mentally ill about parallels in atla/tlok, sooo,, azula and mako.

I SOUND INSANE BUT HEAR ME OUT‼️‼️

so azula is known for her insaneee poker face despite years of repressed trauma and childhood emotional abuse, right. well. guess who else doesn’t express emotions visibly and is cosplaying a normal person over years of fighting for his life. ding-ding-ding, you guessed it, mako!

so, so hear me out here. mako directly paralleling something azula said/did (“you can laugh. it’s funny,” for example) a couple times. but then. but then.

this is where the au part comes in. something happens. maybe kill bolin, idk. (JUST READ THAT BACK WHAT AM I ON 😭🙏🏼) but mako gets the breakdown experience,,,

maybe shove zuko’s oldass in there as a bonus. bring in katara. have a blast, do whatever. but like he has to be sedated cause he’s just. losing it man. like sobbing and screaming and everything cause he spent so long doing everything to make sure bolin was okay (she spent so long doing everything to make sure she didn’t become like zuko) but here it is, all crumbling before him (he shouldn’t have been able to run that fast, it all crumbled before her) and he is absolutely powerless (what lightning can she summon chained up to a gutter? there is only so far her roars will reach, and they know to get out of range.)

I’m in my teen angst era rn and mako will in fact be enjoying the brunt of it. thanks for listening to my little rants and rambles :))

🐌

oh no way! i'm glad i could help you :P continuing beneath cut —

pressing the internal save button in my head on your thoughts on bending body horror. it's good. would eat hmm…

okay but when you translate it over to characters who make my brain turn,,, how did you know that it would intensify my opinions on the subject by 100x fdhkjghbdfjkshbjgdf personally i like mako & bolin to be not only internally fucked up, but also externally fucked up too!

ALSO I LOVE AZULA & MAKO PARALLELS. they are the two lightningbenders who looked at the concept of "lightning requires absence of emotion and peace of mind" and went yup, i'm going to dissociate the fuck out of life's collective traumas and use that to zap some shit up. there's this one edit somewhere out there on mako & azula doing the same feats in their respective shows which, if i were the type to engage in discourse, i would whip out to showcase that mako is not an incompetent firebender lol. but really — they're both firebender prodigies who were exploited and used by their respective mentors/figures of greater power. they both put on masks of feigned indifference because it's the sort of shit that enabled them to survive all these years in their vastly different but similarly dangerous environments. they're the pragmatists in comparison to their brothers and they do what it takes to reach where they must, with a learned apathy for those who get knocked down in the process.

so yeah! azula/mako parallels actually give me life, as do mako/katara parallels. (adding to the reasons as to why mako would've made a better girl, but i digress.)

ALSO mako paralleling shit azula said is actually so funny what i might have to casually incorporate that into the avatar!mako au sob dfjshkghjfdshjhhh

also jfc mako's breakdown would be brutal. that is not pretty shit. that would not be pretty. in fact it's so un-pretty that i think i'm going to write it (granted, maybe to a less explicit degree and without the whole dead bolin thing because it's canon compliant, but you bet your ass that rose beds & gasoline veins is going to delve into that deconstruction of everything mako's spent his entire life perceiving to be the point of his existence). anyway i love this au conceptually and you are so big brain for thinking it up. love your casual writing style too :)

until next time, snailon!

[casyawn]

4, 7, 11, 13, 16, 22, 31, 36, 40 ⚰️

oh my god that's so many. i am sorry for what i am about to unleash.

4. Say you’re recommending the show right now, how would you pitch it?

it REALLY depends who i'm recommending it to but the main points i would hit is that it's good, it's short and it's about vampires in the worst relationship ever. i do make sure to specifically say the relationship is abusive especially if i'm talking to someone i think would be into it for the romance, and i usually also say that it's pretty trigger-heavy. for some people it's a deterrent but for others it's a plus, so. i also sometimes describe the vampire element as 'what if you lived forever but also had a mental illness' which i think is fun.

7. If you read the book, what are your favorite changes from page to screen? 

Ohh i have many. the obvious ones like louis and claudia (but louis especially) being black, the time period change, making the domestic abuse textual, daniel being old and the original interview having taken part in the past, etc. but in terms of smaller changes, i think it has to be the baby-trapping switch; giving claudia and louis the ability to speak telepathically was a stroke of absolute genius it's so so good and interesting and creepy

11. Has your favorite episode remained the same since you first finished the season? 

yup, it's the pilot! tho eps 4 and 5 were strong contenders.

13. What was your favorite piece of music from the first season’s OST?

it's vicious. so fucking good inject those violins right into my veins

16. Do you have a favorite piece of art (book, movie, painting) that’s referenced or featured in the show?

very interesting question. i think it's probably the francis bacon triptych (three studies for figures at the base of a crucifixion)

22. Who's your favorite character? Why?

it's louis!!!!!!!! ldpdl forever and ever <3 i'll keep it simple and say i love a character full of nothing but contradictions, i love a delusional man, i love a man who suffers, and i think jacob anderson might be the epitome of human beauty

31. What’s your most anticipated season two storyline?

the storyline i'm most excited about is the souring of claudia and louis' relationship because i think it's such an interesting part of the book and i love it when characters act horribly. and i want claudia specifically to be so so horrible <3 and other than that, not a storyline exactly but i'm so so psyched to see the vampire theatre like. i'm a big theatre enjoyer. throw in any sort of puppetry and you'll win me forever

36. What’s an unpopular opinion you have?

oh man. i'll be honest i don't really know what's considered unpopular these days, i only follow a handful of people from the fandom and they tend to be the ones i share opinions with, but that doesn't mean those opinions are popular. i guess a truly unpopular opinion of mine is that i don't care about lestat/armand as a ship and i don't want the vampires to be poly or anything like that. insane drama jealousy and divorce forever <3 i guess another opinion that might be unpopular with hardcore book fans is that i don't care if lestat is redeemed or not, i have faith in the writers and i think either way could be interesting and that's ultimately what i care about. in general i guess i just don't care about book accuracy at all.

40. If you made any fanworks of your own, what are your personal favorites? Throw yourself some flowers! 

well uhh i have made fanworks but i have a separate account for them. if we are mutuals and you are interested you are welcome to send me a dm and i'll link you tho <3

[quodekash]

gosh darnnit im tired 

in other words: time for my weekly ramblings about a bl where im mildly interested in the main couple but the side couple means more to me than anything and no i will not stop talking about them 

slight warning, there will be one mention of sa and one mention of murder/suicide (both of which are my personal speculation about particular situations, and there’s no detail apart from the word being mentioned). i also discuss/ramble to myself about mental health problems, and alcohol abuse. so if any of those things are triggering for you in any way, please be cautious about reading this, take necessary precautions, and if it’s particularly distressing, i urge you to call a local hotline for these kinds of emergencies. i care about all of you and your health and safety, whether i know you or not, and if you ever need to talk about anything at all, lemme know, my ask box and my dms are always open. 

anyway, on with the show! 

if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is... 

MY THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 4 OF ABAAB 

(if youre new here, it will literally be all of my thoughts on everything while im watching it bc i feel like im annoying my friends with my ramblings so instead ill annoy all of this circle of tumblr. and it will probably not be coherent. youre welcome.) 

i’m obsessed with his little ‘cher is so cute’ smile 

THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT LITERALLY THIS EXACT POST 

dONT YOU DARE DO A PATPRAN 

that’s real insightful, cher. id never thought of that one before. the statement really gets me thinking. 

are you- are you saying what i think you’re saying? or am i more dirty minded than i thought 

his hair is extra curly today and its veyr pretty 

the curls are giving charlie spring vibes from the side 

i would like to touch his hair please 

the fact that covid exists in this universe is weirdly funny to me 

yup that sounds about right. no one rly cares about covid anymore when the entire world is ending 

YAY HE’S FINALLY OPENING UP TO HIM 

that freaking sucks tho 

and what’s worse is it’s very likely tian was r*ped 

WHY DO ALL THE HAPPY FEEL-GOOD SHOWS HAVE TO HAVE SAD DEATH BACKSTORIES BEHIND 50% OF THE FREAKING CHARACTERS 

GUN (msp)’S DAD IS DEAD AND HIS MUM SPENDS HALF THE SHOW LOW-KEY DYING (and i swear if they do something to gim in our skyy 2 im gonna fly to thailand and have some words with people) 

AYAN’S DAD LEFT, HIS UNCLE DIED 

THUA’S DAD DIED 

HALF THE CHARACTERS IN THE ECLIPSE HAVE DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION AND THE REST OF THEM ARE UNDIAGNOSED BUT ITS DEFINITELY THERE 

HERE, JACK HAS DEPRESSION (and i rly hope they go into that more in depth later in the show bc he intrigues me. if they dont go into it more then im writing a way too in depth analysis post of jack) 

AND NOW FREAKING CHER’S FRIEND/CRUSH FROM CHILDHOOD IS FREAKING DEAD AND HER BODY WAS FLOATING IN A POND WHICH DOESNT RLY LEAD TO ANY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS OF A NATURAL DEATH WHICH MEANS IT WAS PROBABLY MURDER AND/OR SUICIDE WHICH MAKES IT EVEN FREAKING WORSE 

i knew it was too good to last. the over-confident, cocky, funny, sassy/sarcastic people are generally the most messed up, they just hide it via humour and feigned confidence (i am most certainly not one of these people at all) 

cher stop drinking, you’re gonna hurt yourself. also the alcohol might feel like it’s lifting the burden of thinking and stops you from worrying about everything thats happening, but itll come rushing back to you when you’re sober and worse because youll have a hangover, and it’s only a temporary fix, drinking only works for a couple of hours. you need a more permanent fix, cos if you keep turning to alcohol, itll turn into addiction and substance abuse and dependency, none of which are good, all of which are much harder to get out of than they are to get into. so yeah, just chill with the drinking a little bit. i get that you need to let it all out and you need to not feel for a bit, and that’s totally okay, but you need to make sure you’re not over-indulging yourself. otherwise youll be very ill in the long-term, both physically and mentally 

PFFFT THIS WAS THE PERFECT SHOT TO END IT ON 

final thoughts: 

theyve both said things that make absolutely no sense in context unless theyre confessions of feelings, and yet theyre definitely gonna continue to do the “what if he doesnt like me back” thing even tho its SO CLEAR to LITERALLY EVERYONE they have feelings for each other 

theyve gotten so close to kissing this episode and yet they havent which is sad, but also at least they have kissed at one point before getting to the point where they COULD have kissed a grand total of siXTY-SEVEN TIMES- (shut up im not talking about tinngun what are you talking about. .....but also if you wanted to see that post where i count out all of the times tinngun didn’t kiss...) 

very sad with the complete and utter lack of threezo in this episode. actually, it’s not even a lack of threezo. neither of them even appeared in the episode. neither was even mentioned. they (i.e. the characters, the creators of the show) are all acting like threezo AREN’T the most important characters in this entire show 

i love threezo 

where is threezo 

or is it zothree

either way i dont mind bc i love them 

where was i 

oh right 

this episode was pretty good, very emotional, i definitely didnt cry what are you talking about (who am i kidding, eveyrone knows i cried three times, you dont even need me to tell you) 

im excited for episode 5 

that is all, thank you and goodnight 

[lee--felix]

Friendly reminder that, yes I joke about how obsessed I am with Felix and how much I simp over him, but there is a much deeper reason he means so much to me.

To put it simply, I was a hollow shell of a person when I got out of an abusive marriage that lasted years. I was still crawling back to my abuser on and off until I finally cut them off about a year ago.

When I started getting into k-pop, it was right around the time that I was feeling like I would never recover from my trauma. My abuser still had a vice grip on me mentally and I felt like I was nothing without them. They had taken my entire personality, my entire sense of self with them. I had no idea who I was, I didn't recognize myself. Mentally I was a train wreck.

It started with Ateez, sure. I saw myself in Yeosang's shyness and it helped me to feel more comfortable with myself and the fragility that came with it.

But Felix? Oh, Felix embodies everything I used to be. Once I could get over my shyness around people, I was bubbly and playful. I wanted to make people happy, not for anything in return, but just to see them smile. I would go out of my way to be kind for the sake of kindness. I would do anything for the people I cared about.

When I was hollow and broken, I saw myself in him. Like my personality had been stored away in someone else, just waiting to come back to me. He is truly the reason I pulled myself out of the dark place I had been in. I didn't want to be fragile anymore, I didn't want to let every little slip up feel like I was plunging into the ocean again.

So I studied the way he talked, how he carefully chose his words, the way he smiled and joked and laughed with everyone around him. I used my mental illness to my advantage and began to re-learn my personality again by copying someone else. And you know what? It fucking worked. I'm still trying to make up for losing four years of my life to abuse, but I feel like I've made more progress in the last 6 months than I ever thought I would make in a lifetime.

So yes, of course it's funny. Of course we can joke about it. Yup, you can send a cute picture of Felix and I will scream and start crying and it's all in good fun. But please remember that deep down, I am who I am because of him.

If you got this far, you're a trooper. Thanks for reading.

[dwtisgay]

plus mental illness and agoraphobia absolutely can override even a very happy new relationship status in terms of preventing dream from making arrangements to go to the uk- i think he would eventually do it if they had no other choice, but for now going from controlled environment to the uk where you get swarmed everywhere would be like being thrown to the deep end, many ccs seem to imply that the uk is uniquely exhausting in this way ( i guess due to density) badically he'd have to face reveal

yup, I don't particularly see him not visiting as an indication to them not dating, they have put a lot of weight behind their first meeting and the first time George will see his face, George included because I feel like people dont factor his opinion, he's completely changed his stance on wanting to see dreams face, and I think if dream offered rn to visit him, he'd probably tell him to wait. the reason he isn't going yet is because they have hope for this year still, I am sure if that hope gets dashed they'll say fuck it

[yourbitchboobs]

No one Talks about what happens when you’re mentally ill and you have health problems.

The other night I fainted in a club and then had a seizure.I woke up in the ambulance and they immediately asked me if I have borderline just because I have scars on my body.When I told them about my mental illnesses and my past in psych wards and all that stuff they were like “Yup that’s the reason.You had a psychogenic seizure“.I spent some days in the hospital where they ran 3 tests.They all said my brain was fine.I got discharged and they said it was for sure because of my mental illnesses.The day after I got discharged I had a seizure again.I got brought into another hospital and they didn’t even bothered to take tests.“It’s most likely your psychological problems.“

They don’t know that.They didn’t even test all the other possibilities why I could have these seizures.I‘m so f*cking sick and tired of doctors telling me it’s just my mental illnesses.Yes I am very sick,psychologically.But that doesn’t mean i can’t get sick physically.Fuck the health care system.

[37-children-of-the-dreams]

Okay, thank you. Also, yeah, asylums here exist, but since they're full, other mentaly ill dangerous people are free walking so yup... Also, last time I saw my friend, they were really lifeless... Like, before they would talk at least, now only empty dead eyes...So sad. Also, she told a story when she needed to tie up old mentaly ill man who was trying to bite her and she needed to put an IV in. Like that type of asylum. So yup. Also, interesting fact, In my country it's becoming kinda like cult of a young pregnancies, and ok if it's 18+ years, but it's becoming more common for under 18, also here it's more common to have family for poor people with no or lack of education, so thats more scarier part.

Wait a minute…

THERE ARE OTHER COUNTRIES THAT STILL HAVE INSANE ASYLUMS??

I thought people figured out that they don’t actually work! That they make people worse before they ever entered them! Like, it’s an unfortunate historical fact that they don’t work and mentally sane people who went undercover to see how those asylums work went insane because of the mistreatment they received. Why do countries keep them? Like, that’s worse than going to a maximum security prison!

I mean, I am biased on this opinion because I also take psychology and will get a degree in it, but there’s not a lot of reasons to keep those unless it’s for sending the worst criminals there.

I’m so so sorry for your friend. That’s terrible for them and if they’re going to stay there, they’ll go insane. Keep them close to you and make sure they’re still grounded to reality and a safe environment. If not, it’s only a matter of time before they start getting stir crazy. Make sure if they’re having proper breaks away from the job and that they have people near them to check on their health. It’s really important for them to know they have someone who can be there for them.

As for the marriage and family making, sounds like your country doesn’t teach sex ed or the consequences of not being prepared to have a family. But, I live in Midwest USA, and I can’t judge that because teenagers here learn about unsafe sex and the consequences it has the hard way because no one wants to teach them things. I swear, sometimes, people need to stop thinking that teenagers can’t handle sex ed because it’s going to make the next generation more likely to have a harder time getting a good life since no one is teaching them the actual important lessons in life.

[hidekomoon]

Yep! I'm a doctor working on a surgical ward. But I'm ngl if someone comes into the office and says "Doctor" to get my attention, i do not look up because I have not yet absorbed the fact that that is me. In terms of time to rest ... not really! Am on the job ... trying to learn how to not suck at the job 😂

I'm glad your mental health is stable. Now that I've moved I probably need to look into going back to therapy

Me when you tell me you may have guessed who i am: 😳

Altho saying this, it would be pretty cool to read your zine. What is your short story about? I think having lots of short term artistic goals is smart tbh. Stops you from being overwhelmed, but encourages you to keep up with skills. Maybe I should try that ...and hey if it helps with the self esteem and Mental Illness then even better.

Do you have to go back to school to do this thing in September? I feel you on the comparing yourself to friends. It's better not to do it but it's hard not to. A lot of my friends did shorter courses than me at much better universities so have been working for a lot longer and earning for a lot longer. So it's hard not to feel behind.... i get that. I think as long as you validate your feelings but don't let them take over it's okay? Another one of my friends just got engaged 2 weeks ago. I feel like I'm so far behind, just starting out work and missing an ex who left me a year ago. Idk it takes time. But defffooo tell your unhelpful fam to fuck off for sure!!!

wow! i don't know shit about surgeries or being a doctor but i'm sending you strength. it doesn't sound easy! but when somebody comes in and calls you 'doctor' and you don't realize it's you at first: that is such a mood. children call me "ma'am" and i always forget they're talking to me and not to some other lady behind me 😂

i hope your move wasn't too stressful! i helped a friend move a few months back and it was extremely tiring

yeah i think i've guessed! i'm going to try to message this/your? blog later if you don't mind

my short story is about sad gay people (no one is surprised). it takes place in 4 parts (childhood/teen/30s/50s) and it's about the relationship between 2 women who love each other but it never seems to work between them. and also it's about death. it's in french but maybe i'll translate it one day so my english speaking friends can read it

short term artistic goals are the best tbh, keeping me sane since i left high school

technically i don't Have to go back to school in september... but otherwise i would have to find a job and there's no guarantee i find one. i haven't paid the registration fee for next year yet tho (i have until the end of this month i think) bc it IS a lot of money. i have that money, i just wanted to keep it for other expensive stuff... so idk i'm procrastinating my registration until i won't be able to. i love Not Making Choices

yup exactly i'm trying to acknowledge my feelings but not let them overcome me. tho i guess i'm lucky, i don't have the feeling i'm late in the relationship department, though i am very single. i guess i really don't care about being Different in this domain, while i do in the Career domain... it's strange to feel SO confident and carefree about one thing and totally lost & powerless in another. i really don't think you're late either. relationships take time and a lot of luck (i know it's also a lot of work but you also need to find the right person. which takes a bit of luck). i'd rather be 40 and finally find my soulmate than being 40 and divorcing my spouse of 15 years, you feel me?

[escape-rock-bottom]

Overthinking? Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not overthinking. Am I?

Ah yes, overthinking. It’s a trap many of us have found ourselves in. It’s one of the things I seem to do constantly to the point I just want to scream at my brain to shut it because of the amount of stress it’s causing me. So, I’m going to be a bit ironic here and analyze it.

While I do agree that stepping back to think about a problem and its many nuances is a wonderful ability (that I wish more people would have, personally), there is a threshold that you cross and you’ll enter overthinking territory.

Overthinking is pretty much a state of thinking in which you feel the need to look into every detail of something, or possible solutions and problems to a situation. It is usually linked to negative thought patterns, but overthinking can occur over mundane or positive things. However, there’s always a sense of anxiety and intense focus regardless of the subject of your thoughts.

Something interesting I noticed is that overthinking seems to occur most in people with mental illnesses that cause mood instability or anxiety. It also seems to occur in people who have no mental illness symptoms but had an upbringing with an overprotective, cautious parent.

It makes sense, considering overthinking is a defense mechanism. The mind protects itself from making a bad decision by stopping to analyze, but our brains sometimes get a bit too silly and go overboard, leading to the analysis process extending past what would be normal.

The frustrating thing about overthinking is it’s habitual. Yup, if you continuously overthink, your brain will resort to doing so whenever a problem arises. It leads to indecisiveness and frustration, and causes issues within relationships.

This is one of those habits that can sadly ruin your mental state. Not only will you lose trust in your judgements, you will miss opportunities, lose motivation and focus, and slow us down. Overthinking about whether or not you’re a good artist and if it’s worth it to continue learning because you’re not too sure you have what it takes won’t get you to where you set out to be.

You will constantly limit your actual capacity if you worry about every step and detail as you learn and grow. This is where it gets a little backwards: In order to grow you need to understand where you’re failing and how to improve, which requires you to look at the details and steps right? Of course. The difference is how you look at them and how quickly you come to the conclusion.

Are you getting anxious about “missing something” or feeling inferior because you aren’t getting it? Are you getting frustrated because there’s something not going right and going over a thousand possibilities for why it’s not? Are you feeling the urge to quit because no matter how you look at the situation you’re never going to be good enough? That’s overthinking.

A general analysis of faults and where you need to grow is a quick process. It’s from a place of neutrality and genuine curiosity, not one of insecurity and worry. The difference between me researching all the details of how to pull off an art project in a medium I’ve never explored and the person who is researching the details of a project because they think they’re missing something that’ll give them a key to an awesome outcome they’re not getting is the emotions and intent behind it.

Understanding what’s overthinking and what’s not is important if you want to actually address the issue. Once again, it comes down to intent and emotion. If you feel anxious or frustrated about the thoughts, it’s probably overthinking. If you’ve been cycling through the same thoughts to the point you’re missing real life things and losing sleep, you’re definitely overthinking.

Let me be honest here, this is definitely something I need to work on. I’m getting better at seeing the whirlpool before I swim into it, but sometimes I lose sight of my thoughts and only realize it after I reach the point of no escape. However, I’ll give you this neat little tip for what I do when I either catch wind early or find myself spiraling:

Interrupt it. Tell the thought to screw off and move on.

It’s literally that simple. It’s a hard thing to do, but it’s that straightforward. There’s no metaphor, no hidden message, no strings attached. You need to intervene somehow and get your mind off of whatever the hell is driving you down the overthinking road.

Here’s a list of effective interrupters. Try them out and see which fit, some work better in certain states than others and some won’t do a dang thing, but it’s up to you and a lot of trial and error to find the useful ones:

Physically leave the area you are overthinking in. Take a breather and be mindful of your new surroundings and ignore any thoughts

Have a conversation with someone about something unrelated to your thoughts

Feed yer brain! Pick up a book, do some research for school, learn something new and interesting about something you’re passionate about that’s unrelated to your current negative thoughts

Mindless distraction until you have calmed down. Watch a show, browse the internet, work on a project, do something until your brain figures out you don’t care about its negativity and buggers off

Confront the thoughts. Directly tell them they aren’t worth your energy and stop “replying”. Imagine it like shutting out someone shouting at you.

Set a timer for “worry time” for 3 minutes. You have exactly 3 minutes now to think through your problem and engage with the thoughts and feel the feelings, and once the timer buzzes you are done and moving forward

Jump straight into the thing you are overthinking about. This one’s effective specifically when you’re overthinking tasks, projects, activities, and social situations that have little true negative effect. This requires you to slam the brakes on thinking and dive in to doing

Turn the negatives into positives. Instead of saying “if I try this thing I’m going to fail hard” say “I want to try, and I will learn something by doing so.” Basically, rewrite the story to where you’re the hero, not the victim. Be the guy who drew that thing to learn to draw, not the guy who can’t do art to save their life.

Personally, I use some combination of these things (some more than others) and I have learned which to do when and which are most effective. It also helps to understand what things you tend to overthink about and what situations you need to be prepared for.

Sadly, I can’t tell you how to figure that one out because I am not you nor am I not omniscient enough to understand your inner workings, but I can guarantee with enough consistent practice and effort you can crush those dumb pathetic negative thoughts into dust.

[stayathomesurveys]

160.

This time last year, what was happening in your life? I was at a job that I hated, about to quit. I don’t remember much else of what was going on.

Did you/will you have coffee or some other form of caffeine today? Maybe. I’ve had caffeine for sure but I am thinking about having some coffee later.

Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? Nik, his friend’s house being built.

Are there regular trains in and out of your town/city? Yes.

Do you bathe your pets regularly? No.

Do you have a mailbox or do you collect your mail from the post office? I have a mailbox.

What was the last animal you saw, and was it a pet? Kitties, yes.

Have you ever had an ear infection? Yup.

If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? I’m currently watching CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? I don’t have a best friend.

Someone messages you just as you’re about to go to sleep. Do you reply? Depends on who it is and what it’s about.

Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? I think I still do. Probably stress and anxiety.

Have you ever been hospitalized due to dehydration? Not like, admitted, no.

Is there anything you need to remember to do before the day ends? Yes.

When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It depends on where I am.

What’s your favorite online radio site? I only really use Spotify.

Do your parents have any authority over who you date? No. I am 28.

How many different shades of nail polish do you have? A lot.

What did you have for breakfast this morning? A meal replacement shake.

Are you lucky enough to have an ice maker in your refrigerator door? I have one in my freezer that I don’t use.

Are you the type to wake up before the sun has even risen? Sometimes.

Have you ever watched an anime series, start to finish? Yup.

Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. No.

Do you have a favorite towel? What color is it? No.

Have you seen any films with Judy Garland in them?: Yeah.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Why? So sleepy!

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you saw them? -

Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? Not sure... pizza? Lol.

What are you listening to? CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

What year are you/did you graduate? -

Are you obsessed with anything? No?

Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Pancakes. I like both, though. Just depends on my mood. Lately I’ve been leaning more towards pancakes.

Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? Diet.

Do you like seafood? In moderation.

Are you craving anything right now? Chick Fil A... on a Sunday... of course.

Do you dress appropriately for your age? Sure.

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you buy them? No.

How long is your hair? Shoulder length, I guess.

Do you like your neighbors? They’re fine.

What’s your school motto? –

Has a bird ever flown into your window? Maybe.

Which word did you say first, mama or dada? No idea.

How old were you when you learned to walk? I think I was 9 months old.

What was your first pet’s name? Tiger.

How many kids were in your class in kindergarten? Probably like 24? My classes always had like 24-26 students in them.

Who was your best friend in elementary? Ashly, Megan, Sabrina.

Who was the best athlete in your freshman class? No idea.

What teacher did all the high school boys/girls have a crush on? Coach Cutright.

Where do you see yourself in a year? No idea.

If you were able to change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Not be mentally ill?

Are you content just blending in with the crowd? Sometimes.