#zach the christmas elf

[allpromarlo]

i want better for the jets

[musicshelfwithmustard]

Zach Hood Continues to Blossom

Mustard had the pleasure of speaking with Zach Hood. Hood, who has garnered massive success on Spotify and social media platforms such as TikTok. Togerther we discussed heir influences, signing with Sony Artista Records, and so much more.

This interview took place prior to the release of their newest single “Long Distance Christmas.” “Long Distance Christmas” is available on all streaming platforms. Mustard had the pleasure of speaking with Zach Hood. Hood, who has garnered massive success on Spotify and social media platforms such as TikTok. Togerther we discussed heir influences, signing with Sony Artista Records, and so much…

[sweettoothvn]

Merry Christmas!

So quick ask...

How would it be celebrating Christmas with the LI?

Andre is huge on family when it comes to Christmas, expect to be invited to their family dinner and falling into the best food coma of your life. So many people are there, loving, hugging, sharing, chatting, and having a great time. Andre shares a lot of stories about his family with you along with showing you off to everyone he knows.

Casey probably has a few traditions he does with his older brother- but this year his brother was out on the road. So instead he takes you around, sharing his own personal Christmas with you. You check out the decorations and lights in the rich neighborhoods of California that crank up the power bills to the max while eating some food his mom gave him for Christmas. Your... tongue is on fire.

Chrys is another person big on family- except she just celebrates with her household. She invites you over to watch some movies and drink hot cocoa, eating tons of food while also trying to avoid the dogs with their pleading, begging eyes. It's difficult to resist, but you must. Her brothers and her do a weird skit re-enactment of the Birth of Christ... you don't remember dinosaurs being involved but they're there alright.

David doesn't usually celebrate Christmas so he doesn't know what to do when you want to celebrate with him. The last Christmas he celebrated was when his brother was still alive, after that nothing was really special anymore. You guys settle on the couch with some hot cocoa or eggnog while watching Christmas movies. He hasn't seen most of them so he's cringing at all the cheesiness of it all. He seemed to enjoy 'Elf' at least.

Eddie invites you over to his dads' house... reluctantly. It's more so for your sake. He fears that you might get overwhelmed by his parents and siblings. And of course you do. After being bombarded with questions and chatter, he pulls you aside for some alone time. He would have preferred to have been back in the dorms cuddling with you while doing nothing but being lazy, but he couldn't just NOT go and see his family for Christmas. They're weird but he loves them

Kieran doesn't celebrate with his family anymore. He hasn't in years actually. So instead, he takes you to a bunch of parties to get wasted and potentially commit a few felonies along the way. It's Christmas! Who cares? He sure doesn't. When you're both back home, exhausted, barely sober, and maybe injured, he pulls together a quick yet delicious meal, and you pass out on the couch.

Noble hasn't really celebrated Christmas- more so just- watched it happen. He doesn't know what to do but he does notice a lot of people bake. He makes way too much food and it all tastes so good- but you're going to choke if you eat it all. Welp! That's what left-overs are for. You show him a couple of movies and he doesn't watch them- instead he watches you, loving the fact you wanted to show him what Christmas was like.

Zach hasn't celebrated Christmas for a while. He never really liked Christmas- in fact he actually dislikes the concept of Santa.... a man that breaks into your house at night and just... GIVES YOU THINGS? You tell him Santa isn't real. He doesn't believe you. There are now bear traps by the fire place.

[kringletheelf04]

This is crazy (chapter 6)

It's been over a week. A lot has happened already. First Charlie took dad to career day at school and blabbed that dads Santa and I'm the spirit of Christmas. Now he's under evaluation and Laura is threatening dad to take away custody. Currently I'm in the kitchen of my bakery rolling out sugar cookie dough.

The sound of music fills the bakery. The song Quiet, Heavy dreams by Zach Bryan bounces off the walls. I sing along to the lyrics

"How's a man get so homesick for a face he's never seen?"

"Yah know, I always thought that. Now I've met you I don't think I'll be able to stay away." A familiar voice snaps me out of my tranquility.

Turning around, I raise my rolling pin, ready to beat senseless whoever broke into my locked bakery.

I am met with a pair of coffee colored eyes. They shimmer with fondness I've seen only once before. It's Bernard!

"What the fuck dude! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" I berate him, setting the rolling pin onto the counter and pause the speaker.

"First off, language. If you're gonna be the face of Christmas spirit you're gonna have to change that. Also I told you I'd be seeing you soon (y/n)." Bernard grimaces.

"This is crazy! That was just some silly dream!" I say as I pace the floor.

His grin drops, if only momentarily. It makes me feel bad. I've only spent a couple hours with this guy before and I'm already getting attached. This is such main character bullshit.

"I'm sorry you feel that way. But I'm here to help train you to be the Christmas spirit." Bernard states, hands buried in his pockets.

"How'd you even get in? The doors are all locked and all of our windows are stationary." I query.

"Elf magic." Bernard says peering over my shoulder.

"Well I can't 'train', or whatever right now. I have so many orders that need filled. I'm up to my ears in cookie dough. So unless you're here to help frost over 12 dozen snowflake cookies, then you need to vamoose." I go to wash my hands and continue to roll out the cookie dough.

"I don't think you get this is a big deal (y/n). Even if you're my soulmate I can't let you slack in responsibilities." Bernard walks next to me.

"I can't do this 'responsibilities' bull crap right now. I already have way to much on my plate. I have to make these cookies, pick up Charlie from school, and have dinner in the table by the time dad gets home. I cannot be talking to myself in the back room of my shop. I'm already going crazy talking to animals, not this too!" I rant to Bernard.

"Wait. Did you say talking to animals? When did this start?" Bernard grabs my shoulder and turns me to face him.

"The night that guy fell off our roof. The reindeer talked to me." I say setting down my rolling pin.

"You probably think I'm crazy, then again you're not even real, right!" I nervously chuckle.

"I'm real. Just as real as you are." Bernard states into my eyes

"So if you're real, then why don't you have a last name?" I cross my arms.

"Elves don't. It makes things easier when looking for your soulmate. Normally they are other elves. I've looked into it. You're the first ever human in elven history to have a soulmate." Bernard gets even closer to me.

I start putting the cookie dough back. I can't do this right now. I'll just do it tomorrow. If I get in early enough I'll be ok.

"So what exactly does this mean for me, for us I mean?" I untie my apron and fold it. I set it on the counter and wash my hands of any flour.

"You've got to move to the pole in approximately 10 months and 11 days. From there you will live out the rest of eternity spreading Christmas joy." Bernard explains.

"Christmas joy! That's bullshit." I spit.

" I read a bit about you. I'm sorry that such an experience has ruined so many precious moments for you." Bernard says softly.

"How do you know about my mom?" I ask, tears welling up in the corners of my eyes.

"As your soulmate, I'm required to know. And I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's not fair for any child of any age to lose a parent." Bernard pulls me into a hug.

He's warm, but not too warm. My arms go around his neck and his to the small of my back. If I'm crazy, I like crazy. I like him. He's been nothing but kind to me and now I feel like a jerk.

"I'm such a jerk! I'm so sorry!" I sob.

"It's ok. It's ok. I know you're under a lot of stress." He breaths softly.

I pull back and I'm sure my face is red and tear stained, but he looks at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the galaxy. So much love radiates off of him.

My eyes dart back and forth from his eyes to his lips. I start to subconsciously lean forward. His hand moves from my back to cup my cheek. His thumb brushes my cheek softly. I lean in just enough that our noses brush. I can feel his breath, uneven and heavy. My lips close in on his. His lips catch mine in a soft, yet passionate kiss. I swear I can feel sparks. He tastes of chocolate and a hint of peppermint. Suddenly he separates himself and presses his forehead onto mine. I take his hand into mine and squeeze lightly.

I pull away. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry!"

"It's ok. I'm your soulmate. It's natural to feel a pull to me. I sure feel a pull to you. If I didn't I wouldn't have kissed you back." Bernard pulls me into a embrace.

We are interrupted by the alarm on my phone going off. I grab it and curse.

"Fuck, I gotta pick up Charlie. Dad is supposed to be working late tonight and it's his weekend. I'm sorry to do this, but I have to go." I grab my car keys and turn back to him.

"It's ok. I know you've got a lot to do. I'll be visiting soon again. We got to get you trained. Your dad will fall into it, but you have to know what to do." He smiles and I swear the room brightens.

"I'll see you then!" I start out the door.

"By the way -" I start, turning around. Only to see just a poof of glitter in the air and Bernard nowhere to be seen. I scoff and lock the door behind me.

[mishasminion360]

If Only In My Dreams

Zach Wellison x fem!reader

Warnings: Fluff; smidgens of angst; mentions of war; a little Christmas magic.

Summary: It’s never been harder to be in love with a marine when the man in question is overseas for the holidays.

A/N: Sorry to get all depresso but….this past October I lost my father very suddenly. My biggest supporter; my best friend. Mom and I barely made it through Thanksgiving and now Christmas is hitting me hard. I’ve spent the last week thinking how I’d give anything to have him here for the holidays, and my angst spawned this idea. Everyone, please remember to cherish your loved ones, especially during the most magical times of the year. I hope that 2023 will be a better year for all 😊

You can’t recall a Christmas that’s ever felt colder. Even with the fireplace roaring you can’t seem to feel the heat. His embrace warms you more than any flame.

He’s been gone for a year but it feels like 10. True to his word there hasn’t been a day where you and Zach haven’t spoken via Zoom, or a week where there wasn’t a postcard from parts unknown waiting in your mailbox.

The last letter you’d received had been accompanied by a small box. A ring box. An empty ring box. At the bottom of the postcard, following his missive, was a P.S.

“Think about it and get back to me.”

You didn’t have to think about it; you’ve had the answer locked and loaded since the day you’d met Zach Wellison. Now you just need the man to give it to. Home safe and sound.

That odd letter had arrived a week ago, and only silence followed. Now here it is Christmas Eve and you’ve never been more aware of your loneliness. The lights on the tree don’t seem to twinkle; the hot chocolate just doesn’t taste as sweet. All of the holiday magic has faded away, replaced by a heaviness that settles into your head and your heart.

***

You’re halfway through “Elf”—vaguely chuckling at the absurdity of Buddy’s holiday antics—when there comes a knock. You fly to the door faster than the narrator in “Twas the Night Before Christmas”, eager to investigate your late night visitor.

A FedEx driver is the last person you’re expecting to find shivering in the snow on your porch.

“Don’t you folks get the day off?”

“Not as long as there are still important Christmas packages to deliver into the right hands.”

He hands you a small cardboard envelope and instructs you to sign on the dotted line. You watch him wander all the way back to the warmth of his waiting truck before tearing open the envelope and fishing around for its contents.

You can only stare in awe at the diamond ring that falls into your palm, glinting like a snowflake that’s caught the light of the moon.

“Well, what do you say?”

God, you hope it’s not a dream; a holiday hallucination. There he stands on your front lawn, stateside, adorned in his fatigues and rucksack at his feet.

You’re off the porch and tearing through the snow, launching yourself into Zach’s arms with enough force to send you both falling into powder.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” he chuckles, wrapping you in those arms you’ve been longing for. You’re instantly warm regardless of the slush filling your pajamas.

“It’s always been ‘yes’, Wellison.”

He slings has pack over his shoulder and carries you inside just as the clock strikes midnight.

“Looks like I made it just in time. Merry Christmas, sweetheart.”

Zach doesn’t let your feet touch the floor until you’re beneath the mistletoe.

@grimeylady @rav3n-pascal22 @mamacitapascal @insomniamama1 @pedrosbisch @emmaispunk @lv7867 @reonlouw @hawaiianmelodies @pascalsky @pascalpanic @heythere-mel @healingstardust @delorena @pedropasxal @caesaryoulater @kiizhikehn-cedar @hellovanessax-deactivated202209 @fangirling-alert @fromthedeskoftheraven @axshadows @dragon-scales88 @spacepastel-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @pbeatriz-blog @hauntedmama @mswarriorbabe80 @horton-hears-a-honk @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @a-trial-run-on-paper @oonajaeadira @foli-vora @dhadiirah @felicisimor @practicalghost @luz-introvertida @amneris21 @hb8301 @tanzthompson @littlemisspascal @dobbyjen @supernaturalgirl20 @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @trickstersp8 @neganwifey25-blog @twistedboxy @emiemiemiii

[jokerislandgirl32]

About Me (aka: JIG32 Intro)!

I’ve been wanting to add this to my pinned for a while, so here it is! It is broken up into 3 Sections for you all to get to know me better: General ( the basic info about me), Blog Stuff (what you will see on my blog, my f/o and s/i list), My Favorite Things (some of my favorite things: shows, movies, animals, etc!).

Feel free to ask me/speak to me about anything you read here! I may be slow answering asks/interacting, but I love interacting with my mutuals!

Please see below cut! Tw for moving gifs and trauma mention!

General

💜 27 year old female.

💜 Libra! B-day: October 4th.

💜 Christian.

💜 Demisexual.

💜 College Graduate! Associate’s in General Studies and Bachelor’s of Science in History.

💜 Educator of littles by day (kindergarten whooo), and fangirl of villains and other misunderstood characters by night / when I’ve got a break from work.

💜 I love to spend time with my loved ones, sing, listen to music, obsess over my favorite characters and media, write, decorate, spend time in nature, and organize items!

💜 Cat mom to 4 cats (one boy and 3 girls).

💜 Mommy to an angel baby, Alexandria Rinella Varmitech 👼

💜 I’ve gone through a lot of trauma and hardship in my life, but my faith, my loved ones, and my favorite characters and media have helped me through it all! So this blog is like a love letter to all of that!

Blog Stuff

💜 I’m a fanfic author and wishful artist (I’m not very skilled at either, but I try).

💜 Hugeeee Fan of Zach Varmitech, Arthur Fleck, any version of the Joker, Kevin Wendell Crumb, Loki, Oswald Cobblepot, Cedric the Sorcerer, The Grinch (2018 version my beloved), and Klarion the Witch Boy. My blog content is centered around these characters.

💜 Self shipper! You will see A LOT of self shipping stuff on this blog. My main romantic f/o is Zach Varmitech from Wild Kratts. My self insert is Violet Virginia Varmitech nèe Tyler! I’m iffy sharing Zach, but if you respect me, and Zach and Violet, (show us no hatred), I am fine sharing him!

💜My secondary romantic f/o is the Grinch from the 2018 Illumination Grinch movie. My self insert is Aurora Borealis Who! I am completely fine sharing Grinch!

💜 I selfship platonically with Gaston Gourmand from Wild Kratts, but he’s also a bit of a crush/potential romantic f/o. I ship Gourmand with Zach as well, so I consider Zach, Gourmand, and Violet to have something of a poly relationship. I am okay sharing Gourmand!

💜 Veneer from Trolls 3 is a platonic/familial f/o of mine. He’s like my supportive best friend and brother!

💜 I also selfship romantically with Arthur Fleck, Young Justice Joker, and Loki. My s/i for Arthur and YJ Joker is Clarissa Wane. I haven’t figured out a s/i for Loki yet, but I’m thinking she’ll be called Scarlett. These are more “former relationships” of mine, but I still love each of these characters dearly, and I’m completely fine sharing them!

💜 The specific content you will find on this blog will include: Zach Varmitech Gushing, Wild Kratts content, Ziolet (Zach and Violet) posts, fanfic and au posts, posts about any of my other favorite characters/media, quotes I relate to/ I am inspired by, funny memes, funny/cute animal/nature posts, and fall/holiday stuff (Halloween and Christmas countdowns, etc.).

💜 Ask box/requests are always open, see my pinned post for more info, but I may be slow responding to asks/requests!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things…

💜 Favorite shows: Wild Kratts, A Haunting, Green Acres, Gilligan’s Island, Sofia the First, Young Justice, Gotham, 90 Day Fiancé (and any/all spinoffs), The Waltons, Little House On The Prairie, Andi Mack.

💜 Favorite Movies: Signs, Split (2016), The Dark Knight, Joker (2019), The Conjuring, Sleepy Hollow, Hocus Pocus, Twitches, Corpse Bride, Horton Hears A Who!, The Grinch (2018), Elf, A Christmas Story, The Lorax, Rise of the Guardians, Titanic, The Great Gatsby (2013), Thor, The Avengers, Thor: The Dark World, Thor: Ragnarok.

💜 Favorite animals/insects: Cats are my favorite animals, and butterflies are my favorite insect. I also love all wild cats, foxes, raccoons, deer, turtles, moths, dragonflies, hummingbirds, and fish!

💜 Favorite season: Fall.

💜 Favorite holiday: Halloween, but I also love Thanksgiving and Christmas.

💜 Favorite Music Artists: Halsey, Melanie Martinez, Elton John, Big Time Rush, AURORA, Ellie Goulding, Oh Wonder, Conor Maynard, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez are among my favorites!

💜 Favorite colors: Royal blue, sky blue, violet, lilac, emerald green, blue violet, black, gray, silver.

💜 Favorite Places To Be: At the Outer Banks or in the Blue Ridge Mountains!

I will likely update this post in the future!

💜 - JIG32

[ilyasorokinn]

(day 14) all i want for christmas is a dog , erik johnson

note, this fic is part of my 14 days of christmas. check out this masterlist if you're interested. none of these fics in this series are connected, they are all standalone. this fic is part of the "life with the johnsons" series. check out this masterlist for the rest of that series if you're interested. another note, merry chrismtas and happy holidays. thank you for coming on this 14-day journey with me. i'll definitely do this again next year, but with new ideas. thank you all. love you lots <3 pair, erik johnson x reader summary, the only thing the johnson kids want for christmas is a dog or christmas morning in the johnson house warnings, kids word count, 1498 words

(gif not mine)

Before Ivy was born you had a dog, a big golden retriever named Trixie. After Ivy was born, all three kids still wanted a dog. They had been begging and begging practically every day for a dog.

"You know what I'm gonna ask Santa for?" Ivy asked as you all waited in line to meet Santa.

"What?" Erik asked.

"A dog," Ivy exclaimed.

"Me too." Zach jumped up and down.

"Me three!" Lila squeezed your hand.

"All right, next." A woman dressed as an elf smiled, and unhooked the rope, letting you five enter. All three kids ran up to Santa and began shouting out what they wanted for Christmas.

"All right, let's not all shout at the same time." You stepped in, "Lila, why don't you go first?"

"Mr. Santa," Ivy spoke up before her sister could even speak.

"Yes, little one?" The man bent down so he could see Ivy better, "What do you want for Christmas?"

"We want a dog." Ivy flashed him a smile.

"A dog? What kind of dog?" He asked.

"Well, Trixie is..." She looked back at you and Erik.

"A golden retriever," Erik answered.

"Yeah, that." Ivy nodded.

"We want an Australian Shepherd," Zach answered.

"Really? Why that one?" Santa asked.

"Because that's the dog Grandma and Grandpa have." Zach was the one to answer again.

"All right, we'll I'll see what I can do." Santa looked back to you and Erik with a knowing smirk.

-

After many weeks of contemplation, you finally decided to get the kids a dog for Christmas. Erik researched dog shelters and dogs owners who were looking for someone to adopt dogs.

"Okay, I think I found a dog," Erik told you. Whenever he was on roadies, you would call or FaceTime each other at least once a day just o update each other on each other's days.

"Really? Where?" You asked.

"Lakewood." He answered, sending you the link.

"That's really close." You flipped through the photos of the dogs he had sent you, "Did you call?"

"I did call. The woman said we can pick one up whenever." He told you.

"All right, I can pick up the dog and we can keep him at my parent's house or something." You suggested.

"Sounds good." Erik nodded.

"All right, well how was your day?" You asked.

"It was okay." Erik nodded, going into detail about his day.

-

The morning of Christmas, the dog was hidden away in the guest bedroom, a room that the kids wouldn't go into normally. They jumped onto your bed early in the morning wanting to open gifts and wanting pancakes.

After breakfast was when the gift opening commenced. After all the gifts were placed in front of each child, they all ripped into their gifts, hoping to find their puppy.

After the last gift was opened, you handed them an envelope, "Go into the guest room." They all read out loud. They looked up at you confused but walked into the guest room where the box with their dog inside was waiting for them.

"What's that, momma?" Ivy asked.

"Go open it." You told her, gently nudging them in the direction of the box. Zach was the one to open the box, and when he did, he let out a loud squeal.

"A dog!" Zach cheered.

"A dog?" Ivy and Lila peeked their heads into the box, where their new puppy was tipping. Trixie peaked her head into the box and sniffed her new baby brother.

The new dog sniffed her too, before licking Trixie's nose, "What do you think?" You asked, bending down next to your kids.

"He's perfect." Lila beamed, carefully picking up the dog and petting their head, "What's his name?"

"It's up to you," Erik said, bending down to their level.

"Hmm..." They all shared a look, before looking back over to you, "We have decided on a name." Lila announced.

"All right, what is it, Miss Lila?" You asked.

"Bernie." She answered with a big smile.

You and Erik shared a laugh, "After Bernie our mascot?" Erik asked, to which she nodded.

"I like it. Bernie Johnson." You nodded.

"Come on, Bernie. Let's go play." Lila ran with Bernie in her arms towards the backyard.

"Don't forget to bundle up!" You shouted after them.

"We won't!" They all shouted.

You and Erik sighed and stood up. Trixie looked up at you with sad eyes, "Don't be sad." You scratched behind her ears, "You're gonna have so much fun with him." You pressed a kiss to her nose.

She let out a noise, but followed after the kids to go investigate the newest member of the Johnson family, "I think we made the right choice." You nodded.

"I think so, too." You and Erik walked out of the guest room, and toward the already open back door where all three kids were running around and playing with their new puppy.

Bernie looked like he was having fun, and he looked like he was enjoying the snow. Trixie laid at the patio door, observing and watching the small dog, still trying to figure out if she liked him.

"Trixie seems to love her new brother." Erik joked.

"She'll get used to him. It took her a while to get used to Zach and Lila." You reminded him.

"Very true." Erik nodded before you both turned your attention back to the yard.

"Ivy, bug, stop eating snow." Ivy looked up at you with a pout.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because there are germs." You told her.

"But it's water." She pointed out.

You sighed, "Yep, definitely your kid." Erik laughed.

You rolled your eyes, "Come on, it's getting cold and it's almost time to go visit Grandma and Grandpa." At the mention of their grandparents, all three kids bolted back into the house.

"Can we take Bernie with us?" Lila asked.

"Yeah, can we, can we, can we?" Zach and Ivy pleaded.

"We'll see. Go brush your teeth and get dressed." You told him. Bernie came waddling into the house and looked around at everything confused, "Hi, Bernie." You picked him up. He licked your face.

"Welcome to the family, dude." Erik patted the dog's head.

You smiled up at him, "Merry Christmas." You leaned up, pressing a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"Merry Christmas." He hummed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You set the dog down and watched as Trixie made her move and began sniffing him.

Bernie began running around and tipping happily. Trixie barked back in response, and before you knew it, they were best friends.

-

Before Erik could even put the car in park, all three kids were unbuckling themselves, excited to see their grandmother and show her their new dog.

"Hey," You grabbed their attention, "Wait till the car is off." You told them. They sighed and pouted, but watched as Erik pulled the safety break. He gave them a nod, and they resumed unbuckling each other.

You helped them out of the car, and let Ivy hold Bernie's leash while Zach held Trixie's. Lila rang the doorbell, and they all waited patiently for their grandparents to answer the door.

Your mom answered the door, and gasped when she saw her grandchildren, "Oh, Merry Christmas." She wrapped them in a big hug.

"Grandma, guess what?"

"What?" She asked.

"We got a dog!" Ivy announced, stepping aside and showcasing the dog.

"Oh, my goodness!" She gasped as if she didn't know about the dog, "What's his name?" She asked, bending down and petting the dog.

"Bernie." Your mom laughed.

"Are those my favorite grandchildren?" Your dad joked, making his way towards the door.

"Grandpa!" They ran into the house and hugged his legs.

"Hello." He laughed, hugging each of them.

"Did you hear? We got a dog!" Lila jumped up and down.

"I did hear." Your dad nodded, "Your cousins are already here. They're in the living room." He told them. They nodded and ran off to find their cousins.

You smiled at your parents, "Hi, mom."

"I take it they loved the dog." She laughed.

"Already attached." You nodded.

"Hi, Erik." your mom pulled him into a hug once you pulled away.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled, handing the dog leashes off to you. Your parents' dog, their Australian Shepherd, wandered into the room and saw a new face. Trixie nudged Bernie towards your parents' dog, Candy, and both dogs sniffed and inspected each other.

"They'll be fine." Your dad brushed it off, pulling you into a hug.

"Merry Christmas, dad." You hugged him.

"Merry Christmas." He smiled.

"Well, dinner's almost ready. Get settled in." Your mom announced.

"Sounds good." You nodded, standing in the doorway of the living room. You could hear all three of your kids talking about their new dog and their cousins' remarks about wanting to meet the dog. You smiled to yourself, knowing in the back of your head that Bernie was a good present.

ynyln-johnson

Liked by 6erikjohnson6, landeskog.92 and 21,038 others

ynyln-johnson merry chrismtas and happy holidays from all of us, and our newest member, mr. bernie johnson.

tagged: @/6erikjohnson6, @/johnsonfluff

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6erikjohnson6 ❤️

coloradoavalanche bernie 😭

mel.landeskog he's so cute

6erikjohnson6

Liked by ynyln-johnson, girard94 and 6,295 others

6erikjohnson happy holidays from the johnsons and ivy's snowman.

tagged: @/ynyln-johnson

View all 295 comments

ynyln-johnson my sweet girl ❤️

avswags they're all so cute!! 🥰

mackinnon29 i wanna see your snowman.

johnsonfluff

Liked by ynyln-johnson, tornadethedoodle and 2,997 others

johnsonfluff merry chrismtas from me, my new toy miss pig, and my new wittle bwother, bernie.

tagged: @/ynypn-johnson, @/6erikjohnson6

View all 197 comments

lenardthebernedoodle welcome to the fam, bernie

bodieboyandgraciegirl hockey pups for the win!!

avsfan wait... bernie after the avs mascot? 👀

(photos not mine. found on pinterest, and the photos of people and the family belong to @/amberfillerup on ig.)

-

my taglist: @barzysreputation @brandtsclarke @jackydrury @fallinallincurls @joelsfarabees @puckinrightschicagoo @tysonjost-taylorsversion @Besthockeyfics @boqvistsbabe @joshsandersons @stars-canucks @josthours @iwantahockeyhimbo @blondiekook @2manytabsopen @lady-laura-speaks @stormingroses @youngbeezer @maximoff-xmen @bb-nhlqueen7 @ghostyjosty @heatherawoowoo @hockeyunits @rosesvioletshardy @thescooby-gang @123happyllama @mattyskies @ggggmoneyyyy @voidohanax @4ambagelbites @lovethepreds @colecauliflower @eve132 @tonyspep @ciziikas @monamourthings-blog @x-a-v20x @bowenbyyram @satanxklaus @himbobimboeater @brandonbagel @Pasta88love @paintlavillered @itssophlouise @lam-ila @HockeyJedi13 @barzysandhughesbaby @kidlnthedark @letsgocaps21 @tkachukitout @drysdaleseyes @bootyquay @jostyriggslover96 @liz-69 @sc87 @tanninetanya @duhaimes @kermits-fat-cock @drei-mrssvechii @raysofcrosby @shinytoadpandadeputy @rainysuitcaseprunegiant

[ taglist ] [ lwtj series ][ xmas masterlist ]

[1ddotdhq]

🎅 Sat Sept 5 🧁

Not a ton going on, I don’t think - Ashe and the Zach Sang show did a shout out to Niall, which he agreed with, and Louis continues to like football and bakeries, as old (unsourced) unseens continue to prove.

The funniest part of the day today comes from Instagram, where an account has popped up pretending to be BOTH Santa Claus AND Harry! Their official site includes a menu, a newsletter, a bunch of elf staff bios, and some classic Christmas stories. They also want to remind you to “Treat Elves With Kindness”, so, if you want a good laugh, that’s something to look at. (I will say that it does not seem to actually have any ties with Harry or his team, but it is funny!)

[poc-movie-supremacy]

Merry Christmas

On one very Merry Christmas, disaster strikes the Lim-Ilnyckyj family. Will everything be okay or will it be deadly Christmas for all???

------

Steven hates eggnog. He hates that it’s only sold on Christmas. He hates that he always forgets to buy more of it. He hates that he made Andrew go get some on that Christmas night. 

Yesterday night…

Steven loves Christmas. He loved it when he was a kid and he loved it now. He loved the Christmas music, and the twinkling lights, and the constant buzz of happiness. It’s become even more special now that he has Andrew and Sunny and Mark. 

“Do you have everything you need for the party tomorrow, baby?” 

Steven surveyed the kitchen. “I think we should. Do you wanna get started on the dumplings?” 

Andrew nodded and started getting out all the ingredients. “Sure are you going to start the banana bread?”

“Yup.” Steven maneuvered around Andrew as he got out his ingredients. They worked together in the kitchen seamlessly to produce a Christmas feast. Tomorrow in the late afternoon, they were hosting a large Christmas dinner with all of their friends and family. Considering who was coming they were planning on making a large meal. 

“The ham is going to be ready for pick up tomorrow right?”

“Last time I checked honey.” Steven had on a Hanukkah sweater under his apron. It was a gift from Zach a few years ago. He also had an elf hat that Adam gave him and a discrete hickey from Andrew. Didn’t need the kids seeing that.

As they cooked, those same kids sat on the couch watching Christmas movies.  Currently they were enthralled by Disney’s A Christmas Carol. The lights from the Christmas tree blinked lazily at them. It painted the kids in a warm glow. The smells of cooking food and scented candles wafted around the house. The adults kept a half an eye on them as they worked in the kitchen. 

As Steven stirred the banana bread mix, he felt a slight tug on his pant leg. Looking down he saw his baby boy holding on to his leg. “Hey Markie, what’s up?”

Steven knelt down so he could hear his son better. “Baba, are ghosts real?” Steven almost fell over laughing. It was making his son agitated but he couldn’t stop. Sunny and Andrew started to look at them curiously.

Before Mark could start crying Steven squeezed his hand. “Buddy, hey, Buddy I’m sorry. You know what, when your Uncle Shane and Ryan come over tomorrow you ask them ok? They know more about this than I do.” 

“Oh God, Ghosts.” Andrew groaned into his hands. He looked almost comical in his zany red Christmas sweater and Mickey Santa hat that Ryan got him a few years ago. Their poor kids look very confused at their parents. Steven almost fell down from laughing too hard. 

“Do you think when they finally started dating Shane would intentionally scare Ryan so that Ryan would go to him for comfort?” Andrew wondered. The red Christmas light fell on his profile, emphasizing his strong jawline and beard. It made Steven’s heart happy to look at. It was also hilarious sine he looked like a giant red man from where Steven was crouching on the floor. 

“Oh most definitely. I had to help him sometimes.” Steven rolled his eyes exasperatedly while Andrew chuckled. 

"Anyways, you kids wanna make Christmas cookies after me papa are done?” Steven asked. Papa and Baba’s cookies were a special treat for the Lim-Ilnyckyj kids. They enthusiastically took any chance of making them with their father’s as they could. 

“Ok watch a few more movies while Papa and I finish cooking, alright?” They nodded and went back into the living room. Frosty the Snowman and It’s Christmas Charlie Brown played through before Steven and Andrew were ready for them. Sunny and Mark rushed into the kitchen eagerly, happy to bake with their parents. It got a little messy, but they had fun. Andrew had flour in his hair and icing was everywhere. After that adventure, Steven and Andrew wrangled their kids to bed. Then they cleaned up the house to make it more presentable. 

Half-way through the clock struck midnight.  Steven was busy fixing the mistletoe so he missed Andrew coming up behind him. He squeaked when he felt Andrew wrap his arms around him. “Merry Christmas, Baby.” Andrew reached up to press a quick kiss to Steven’s lips. 

Just as quickly he pulled away leaving Steven a giggly mess. He playfully swatted Andrew on the shoulder before getting back to work. “Merry Christmas to you too, Honey.” 

Christmas Day for the Lim-Ilnyckyj household was chaotic. Sunny woke up Mark and together they woke up their parents. They were found sleeping back to back holding hands. They did not go to bed like that. It made Sunny and Mark laugh as they bounced on the bed. Their giggling is what actually woke up the two parents. Andrew gave Mark a bear hug while Steven tickled Sunny senseless. When they finally escaped their parents hold,  the kids pulled their parents to the Christmas Tree. 

“Don’t forget we’re going to Mass at noon. Then everyone’s coming over at 3. Can you get me some matcha honey?” Steven asked. 

“Sure.” Andrew stood up from the couch to go get some coffee in the kitchen. Light streamed in from the open windows onto the children. It made them almost glow in the morning light. 

Steven peacefully watched the kids divide up the presents. Mark got some nice lego’s and a coloring book while Sunny got a kid-safe detective and chemistry kit. They got a few other gifts but this was their favorite. Andrew came back with two cups of matcha, one for Steven and one for himself. Steven smiled happily and kissed his husband’s cheek in thanks. They hadn’t been planning on opening their gifts, but Sunny and Mark insisted. 

Steven’s gift was an art project and a Ratatouille stuffed animal. Sunny and Mark smiled eagerly at him. “Uncle Adam helped us pick it out! Do you like it Baba?” 

Steven pulled his kids into a hug. “I love it so much.”

“Your turn papa.” Mark handed his father one of his presents from Sunny and Mark. It was another art project and a stuffed animal of a cat possibly from the Aristocats. 

Andrew squeezed the cat close to his chest. “You guys, this is great.” 

“You like it?” The kids asked him excitedly. 

“I love it. And I’ll open the rest of the gifts after I get the ham. Ham is the last thing we need right?” 

“It should be..” Steven said. It wasn’t. 

“Ok, let’s eat some breakfast, I’ll get the ham then we’ll go to Mass. Sounds good?” The kids nodded distractedly. Steven made them special christmas waffles (which were like regular waffles with a lot of sweets in them).

“You’re going to give them a sugar rush,” Andrew said.

“Yeah and they’ll crash during mass.”

Andrew smiled sneakily at his husband. “You're so smart.

Steven shrugged with faux humility, “I try.”

The kids did in fact crash half-way through Mass. Steven and Andrew had to carry them the rest of the celebration. All the Church goers cooed as they passed. At home, Steven and Andrew let the kids sleep as they made sure the house was ready for the party. The wrappers were all thrown away and the Christmas lights were turned on. The food was arranged artfully around the kitchen table. At 2:20 the children were woken up and cleaned up for the party.

The first people to show up were Uncle Ryan and Uncle Shane. Their three kids, Sherry Linda and Benny stood behind them carrying gifts. After hugging Ryan and shane, Steven graciously took the gifts from his nieces and nephews.  Mark ran up to Ryan’s leg and pulled him down. “Uncle Ryan, Uncle Ryan, Baba told me I could ask you a question.”

“What’s up slugger?”

“Are Ghosts real?” Mark whispered.

 Ryan immediately started wheezing while Shane groaned. Mark looked around very confused. His dads had the exact same reaction. At the same time Ryan told him yes, Shane shook his head no. An argument ensued to Mark’s utter confusion. Linda rolled her eyes, took her cousin by the hand and pulled him away.

“Ignore my dads. They can’t agree on this.” Sherry, her younger brother Benny and cousin Sunny and followed Linda and Mark. They made their way to the play room away from the bickering adults. 

“If you ask me,” Sherry started, “I think they are.” Benny nodded too. He was three so there was a 60/40 chance he was just agreeing because his older sister said it, but none of them commented on it. 

More guests started to arrive, The Fulmers, the Habersburgers, Cool Uncle Adam. The kids all went to play upstairs while the grownups stayed downstairs to talk.  

Christmas music rang throughout the house as Christmas lights twinkled around them. The cookies and eggnog were a big hit, especially after someone spiked it. Steven didn’t account for this and sadly they ran out of eggnog quicker than he planned. “Do you want me to get more?” Andrew whispered in Steven’s ear. He had seen Steven start to play with the hem of his shirt, a tell-tale sign he was agitated.

Steven played with the hem of his shirt more and almost started to bite his lip. Internally he was having a debate with himself. “Are you sure? You don’t mind?” Steven whispered.

“No it’s ok. The trip would be quick.”

“Want me to go with you?”

“Nah stay home. I think Bergara’s going to do something to my clothes, I want you to stay guard.”

“Yes sir.” Steven smiled and kissed his husband on the cheek. Silently Andrew left the party to get some eggnog. Annie saw this and quirked an eyebrow. 

Steven answered her silent question. “It’s all good.” No it wasn’t “He’s just getting some eggnog.” He wanted to get some eggnog.

Annie nodded slowly like she was debating on what to say next. “The roads are slippery. I hope he’s careful.”

The thought made Steven nervous, but nothing bad could happen right? It was Christmas Day so he decided to trust in God and believe that Andrew would be alright. Steven nodded at Annie and steered the conversation towards studio ghibli. 

-_-  -_-  -_-

It takes half an hour to get from the grocery store and back to the house. Steven knows after all the times one kid has gotten sick and he had to rush to the store for soup. It had been 20 minutes so far. Steven wasn’t too worried. He went to the kitchen to get more cinnamon rolls  where he caught Ryan staring out at the snow. 

“Snowstorm. Must be blue moon today,” Ryan whispered when he noticed Steven beside him. “First time I’ve ever had to bundle up like I do visiting Shane’s family in California. Kids were ecstatic though.”

Steven snorted softly. “I can imagine, Cali boy.”

Ryan fondly rolled his eyes, “That was an awful nickname and you know it. By the way, where did Andrew go? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Before Steven could answer, his phone rang. Excusing himself, he answered and started to walk away. He made it four paces before he felt his heart shatter. 

-_-  -_-  -_-  

Steven was stock still in the middle of the kitchen. He wasn’t moving. Ryan called out to him, but he wasn’t responding. Hesitantly, Ryan walked over to Steven. His breaths were shallow and his eyes looked bloodshot. Carefully Ryan took the phone out of Steven’s hand.

“Hi, my name’s Ryan Bergara, I’m… Steven’s relative, what seems to be the problem?”

“Mr. Bergara, as I was just telling Mr. Lim, Mr. Andrew Ilnyckyj has been in a car accident. He’s in St. Luke’s hospital on 5th and 9th.” The operator had a sympathetic voice, probably picking up on how much Andrew means to Steven. Ryan took a deep breathe in an attempt to steel his nerves. He couldn’t break down, not yet, not until this whole mess was sorted out. Someone had to be strong for Steven.  

“Oh, um thank you, Steven and I’ll be there as soon as we can. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Mr. Bergara. I hope your friend turns out okay.”

“I hope so too.” Ryan hung up and pocketed the phone. He turned towards Steven who was still stock-still and crying. “Hey man, I need you to breath. He’s going to be okay. Shane and I’ll drive you to the hospital, the rest can stay back and watch the kids.”

“The kids… you can’t tell them just yet. You can’t. It’s Christmas Ryan. Wait, wait until tomorrow.”

“Ok, ok I promise. Wait right here. I’m going to go tell the grown ups and get Shane.”

As he was about to leave, Steven reached out and tightly gripped Ryan’s arm. “Don’t, don’t leave.”

Ryan paused and took a deep breath .”Ok, slim lim, come with me.” Slowly Ryan tugged Steven back to the living room. To get everyone’s attention Ryan made one sharp whistle. 

Everyone turned to look at them and concern colored their faces when they saw Steven’s tear stained face. Before they could speak Ryan’s voice wobbled out, “Uhh, Steven just got a call from the hospital,” Annie held a hand over her mouth, “Andrew’s been in a car accident. Shane and I are going to take him there, but we need someone to stay behind to watch the kids. It’s Christmas. I don’t want them there quite yet.”

Shane walked up to stand on Steven’s otherside. He wrapped an arm around Steven’s shoulders and rubbed in an effort to calm him down. 

“We can stay with the kids,” Katie offered. She sent a sympathetic look towards Steven that went unnoticed. The others offered to clean up before either going to the hospital or going home.  

Ryan and Shane ushed Steven into the car and drove as quick as they lawfully could to the hospital. When they came to a stop in front of the hospital, Steven jumped out and made his way to Andrew’s room. They watched him go silently, sadly. Before they joined him they parked.   

-_-  -_-  -_-

Steven ran down the hallways as fast as he could. Christmas music played softly through the halls, but it doesn’t have the same soothing effect anymore. It started to become more threatening as it played in his mind over and over. You better watch out. You better watch out. YOU BETTER WATCH OUT  you better not cry, you better watch out I’m telling you why… 

It made him sick. His anxiety increased two-fold. The washed out hallways seemed to stretch on forever. It was freezing to the bones in there. For every step Steven took, the hallway added another foot of length. 

401… 402… 403.

Steven felt like he was running on borrowed air. Like when he got that phone call Satan stole his breath and wouldn’t give it back to him. He didn’t stop running though, he would run as quickly as he could to get to him. 

Finally, finally after his ugly christmas sweater was starting to choke him, finally after his tears were starting to stream down his cheeks, he made it to him. 

Andrew was lying unconscious in his hospital bed. There was a long scar over his left eye and a bruise on his left forearm. Steven almost fell over at the sight of it. Yet he pulled himself together and staggered to Andrew’s bedside. Tightly he grabbed one of Andrew’s hands as he willed himself to stay strong, stoic. 

The hospital room was cold and unfeeling. It smelled of antiseptic and medicine. Steven hated it. He hated that he was here, he hated that he was the okay one. Steven, Steven burned with anger. But anger doesn’t last long, especially for Steven who quickly goes from murderous to deep tragic sadness. It makes his knees weak. 

 He pulls up a chair so he could fall into it. While still holding his hands, he rests his forehead onto Andrew’s stomach and let the tears fall. At first it’s singular droplets but then it becomes heaving sobs. All the pent up energy he feels is released through the tears. He’s relieved the kids aren’t here to see either of their parent’s like this. They’re too young. 

He hears Ryan and Shane approach but he pays them no mind. All he’s aware of is Andrew’s soft breathing and the beep of the heart monitor. The sound is both a blessing and a curse. As much as he hates the incessant beeping, he’d take it over its silence any day. The boys walk over to Steven, Ryan on his left and Shane on his right. 

Shane’s quiet as Ryan speaks. “The nurse says there was some internal bleeding, and he has a few broken ribs. The roads were a little slippery the other car couldn’t break fast enough to avoid collision. She checked your insurance. They’re going to send in robots to fix up the bleeding. Thank God we updated the healthcare on time.” Ryan tried to joke to alleviate the dour mood. It didn’t work that well. 

Steven tightened his hold on Andrew’s fingers. Jaggedly, he nodded his head. Shane placed a hand on top of his shoulder. “Hey man ease up. Don’t break his fingers.” Steven wanted to hold onto his husband’s hands like a lifeline, but he knew Shane was right. Instead he grabbed one of Shane’s hands and one of Ryan’s. No one spoke as they quietly watch Andrew sleep.

When the nurses had to take Andrew into surgery, Steven let them lead him back to the waiting room. The lights were bright in an awful way, harsh on his eyes. They sat together on one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs. No one spoke, unsure of what to say. Steven played with the hem of his Christmas sweater and prayed the rosary over and over internally. 

Later on in the night, Adam, Annie, Rie, and Niki came over to sit with them. Unless it was to offer Steven a comforting word no one spoke. They all waited apprehensively for an update on Andrew’s situation. Annie wrapped her arms around Steven who curled into her. 

“I’m sorry I jinxed it.” Her voice was whisper-soft and shaky, like she was about to cry but didn’t want to. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Just more evidence that you might be a little more magical than we thought.” Steven tried to humor her. Annie just held him tighter and kissed his forehead. 

“I’m magical as fuck and I’ll use my powers to make Andrew come out the surgery room brand new,” Annie declared confidently. Despite himself, Steven smiled. 

-_-  -_-  -_-

Andrew’s surgery lasted a few hours. Ryan shot a text to Katie that Andrew would be staying overnight and Steven would too. Katie offered to stay the rest of the night with them, but Adam refused. He drove back to keep an eye on the kids while Katie and her husband went home. She gave him a sympathetic smile and made Ryan swear that he would update them on Andrew’s situation. After that they sent Steven one last sympathy text before heading home. 

Luckily the surgery went smoothly. He’d wake up from the anaesthetics in a few hours. Since only one person could wait for him in the hospital room everyone stayed in the waiting room. Steven went to visit Andrew alone. He pulled up a hospital chair and fiddled with the hem of his sweater as he prayed. 

Half-way through the night, Ryan and Shane had to go back home to pick up the kids and put them to bed. Annie stayed with Steven the whole night. She went with him to see Andrew before having to go back home. Well into the morning, once the kids were awake and ready, Adam took Sunny and Mark back to the hospital to wait for Andrew and Steven. They were quiet and still for once chock full with worry. Adam tried his best to distract them. He played youtube videos, read to them, and let them play games on his phone. Nothing seemed to work however. The only thing the kids wanted was their father. 

They looked up when a nurse called Adam’s name. They got up together, one kid holding one of his hands. The nurse gave him a pleased, tired smile. “Everything went well, so well in fact that you all can visit him.”

“We can visit Papa!” Sunny squealed excitedly. It made the nurse laugh. 

“Yeah, your father’s waiting for you.” Sunny would’ve sprinted off if it weren’t for Adam. He quietly thanked the nurse before turning his attention back to the squirming kids. 

“We walk together, no running off. We can’t run into anyone.” The kids sullenly agreed with Adam. Together they walked towards Andrew’s hospital room. He didn’t let go of the hyper kids until they crossed the threshold. Sunlight light up Andrew’s hospital room. There were some flowers and candy lying on the side table. Steven and Andrew had matching red rimmed eyes as they held hands. Big Smiles shone on their faces when they saw their kids. Before the kids could pounce on Andrew’s torso Steven scooped them up onto his lap.

“Hey, hey, before you shower your papa with all the love in the world, we got to go over a few ground rules.” Steven waited until he had his kids attention. “Your father’s chest and stomach is very sore so you can’t put any pressure on it. That means so sitting on it, no tight hugs, no leaning against it. Ok?”

Both kids nodded solemnly before Steven let them onto Andrew’s hospital bed. Mark sat on his left while Sunny carefully climbed over him. When they started talking they also started crying and they did this on top of each other. Adam went to stand silently behind Steven. No one could fully understand what the kids were saying. It was something between, don’t go, I’m scared and it was confusing. Andrew let them cry it all out. He rubbed Mark’s arm up and down as he tried to thumb away Sunny’s tears (in vain). Gingerly he let the kids lay on him, wanting to be just as close to them as they needed to be to him. 

“I’m going to be ok guys, I promise. Papa just got in a little tumble.” The kids didn’t really believe him, he did have a scar on his face after all. They did always like the rumble of his chest when he talked though, so they just quietly listened. Andrew told them a story about one of his Christmases as a boy. It was long enough to have them fall asleep by the end of it.  Andrew kissed them on the forehead before turning towards Adam and Steven. 

“They fell asleep quickly. What did I miss from the 24 hours or so?” 

“Nothing much. After Steven got the call, half of us went to the hospital while the other half stayed behind to clean up the house and watch the kids. They’ve had some trouble sleeping. Very worried for you.” Adam informed him. Absentmindedly Andrew tightened his hold on his kids even if it pained him. 

“Merry Christmas to us,” Steven quipped sarcastically. 

Andrew snorted. “Hey, I turned out fine. Little banged up but I’m ok.”

Steven carefully squeezed his upper elbow. “You better be. I didn’t want to tell the kids that pops went out for milk and never came home.”

Andrew and Adam laughed out loud. “I promise baby, I’m not going anywhere.”

[helle-bored]

The world is so small and everyone in it is strung together dot-by-dot, lines drawn between stars in the constellation of my life.

I.

I see a woman I knew in high school, exhausted by her sunburned children, pushing a stroller in an LAX terminal; I don’t say anything because I think we all hated high school at least as much as we hated our braces (and still carry the scars from it, like the scars inside my cheeks from my braces), and instead I text my friends: guess who I saw? No, I didn't say hi; no I didn't sneak a picture. I let her live her new life, uninterrupted, and hope it is a better one.

II.

I meet you online, and later see you at the grocery store, and before you look my way I turn right the fuck around and leave. The mortifying ordeal of being known requires some preparation.

III.

"do you know kate?" Why yes I know Kate; I'm actually at her house now, having my first Christmas with her parents, who have adopted me for this one day (and yesterday, when I wore a unicorn onesie gag gift and slept in their spare bedroom, and watched Elf because Zach loves it, and managed not to point out how stupid it is because I love him). Yes I know Kate. How do you know Kate? You used to run into her at Portland clubs? What the fuck is this, that you text me for the first time in months to say you know my college roommate, and here I am eating her mom's cookies in their living room in Texas?

IV.

You used to walk me home from campus through the dark and now you teach at my high school, and know my old teachers, and know them by their first names. I don't even know them by their first names.

V.

I meet you in Ireland. Your sister wrote gorgeous poetry in the college student art anthology and left the year before I started. I ask you to let your sister know I love her poetry. I forget your name and we go back home to different universities and I never see you again. I never meet your sister.

VI.

All of us meet on some fanfic forum at about fourteen, and I feel so gangly and out of place I can't stand it, but where else is a lonely country kid supposed to make friends? And then we all move to livejournal and share every painfully earnest detail about our young lives, and fifteen years later I don't know much about any of you but we're all friends on Facebook.

VII.

I knew you in college. I found you on tumblr. I knew you in college. I found you on tumblr. I knew you in college too, and I found you on tumblr. I keep finding you. Y'all should get the fuck off tumblr.

VIII.

You are the first non-binary person I know, and you find me staring at the sky, squinting up from the flaking roof of my shitty subaru. Car won't start? Come in, we're making dinner. I don't know you but you feed me anyway. I never learn how to know you because your kindness is intimidating: did you know kindness could be like that? Several years later your photos are featured on deviantart and they are queer people from Iran. You take the gallery down: your father back home is bearing the weight of your defiance all the way across the ocean. I wonder if you are defying him, or just your country; if you love him, or just your country. If you love both. It can't be neither: you have to love something more than just yourself to hide like that; to dim your lantern low for the sake of a finger on a trigger half a world away.

IX.

I was almost your friend in a chat room a long time ago. You were almost my friend. We're still orbiting the same corners of the internet, bumping into each other on occasion and never quite acknowledging it, and we're both so shy we'll always be like this, always almost friends.

X.

Oh, Patty? Yeah, I get drinks with him when I'm in Galway. I can ask him to send me his cd so you don't have to keep listening to that crappy copy of a song you ripped from Myspace that he played in a pub the second time you forced yourself to go out for drinks in five months, that song he's never put up anywhere else, that song that made you cry. Remind me to email him before you come in to get your next tattoo.

★

If the world is this small, does it seem all that strange that in little ways I've always thought I might love you? In a different time, I won't shy away when the ground bends between where you are and where I am. I want to know if your hand in mine feels as familiar as your words on my screen. Who am I to say much about the movements of stars? Maybe someday the world will be small, and I will be brave.

[allpromarlo]

the elf is playing again yeah its over

[olivias-cardigan]

why don’t we christmas preferences: day one

WHY DON’T WE SPEND  OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER

(a/n: yes this was supposed to be up december 1st, whoops. yes two more preferences are going up tonight so i get back on schedule so stay tuned! lmk if you would like to be tagged in this series for the month of december!!)

original post or you can search the tag “lex’s why don’t we christmas countdown”

taglist: @ashleynavery, @zaddydaniel

corbyn- you guys were approaching your one year anniversary and decided you should spend the holidays together. since you spend thanksgiving with his family, christmas you were with yours. you were a little nervous as to how to your siblings were going to be, (they always tried to embarrass you) but nowhere near how nervous corbyn was. as you pulled into the driveway of your childhood home, you reached over and gave corbyn’s hand a reassuring squeeze. your family came out to meet you at the car and your face lit up. it had been a while since you had seen them and your little sister seemed to be so much older. that night, your family began warming up to corbyn and he started to come out of his shell. Throughout, your visit he was bonding with your family and it made your heart melt. Whether it was helping your mom with dinner, discussing football with your dad, playing video games with your brother, or having a tea party with your sister, he was the sweetest person you ever met and you couldn’t believe you got so lucky.

daniel- you were waiting in the airport to fly out to see daniel’s family. however, your flight kept getting delayed and delayed. after a while, the snowstorm was too bad in oregon for your plane to be able to land so they rescheduled your flight for three days later; too late to be there for christmas. you were disappointed but not as much as daniel. it has been also a year since he seen his family and this was his favorite holiday. he was extremely quiet on the drive home. however you were determined to turn this holiday around. you texted his mom and got her to send his favorite recipes and spent the night cooking and decorating. in the morning daniel, shuffled downstairs rubbing his eyes. a look of shock spread across his face and you stood in the kitchen carrying a plate of his mom’s favorite muffins. his eyes started to well as he took it all in. he bounded down the rest of the staircase and gave you a huge hug. “you did this all for me?” he whispered in your hair. “of course dani-” he cut you off to give you an adoring kiss. “y/n, i love you so much”

jack- it was christmas eve and you were snuggled up with your boyfriend jack on the couch lazily running your fingers through his curls. both your families were busy this year, isla had a shoot in europe and your family was helping your sister move into her dorm. so you and your boyfriend decided to do a lowkey holiday this year and tonight you were doing a movie marathon. this was the fifth movie and you were started to doze off. As elf continued to play, your eyes felt heavier and heavier and you felt jack had slip around your waist. “goodnight baby,” he whispered in your ear. chills ran down your spine and you gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and fell asleep.

jonah-  let’s face it, you two were that couple. The couple that everyone wants to be, that is jealous of. You are so beyond sweet with each other and the holidays were no exception. Jonah got you both matching sweaters in celebration of your first christmas together. you decided to spend the holidays in la this year, and the boys were coming over later tonight for christmas dinner. You rolled over (still in your sweater from the christmas eve party last night) and decided it was time to get up and start cooking. You slid into your slippers and shuffled down to the kitchen. As you started on the pot of coffee, you felt jonah’s arm slip around you as he kissed your neck. “merry christmas my love,” he said softly as you giggled. The rest of the morning and early afternoon you two spent in the kitchen preparing the food and dancing around. you couldn’t think of a better way or better person to spend the holiday with.

zach- it was christmas eve and you were in the car with zach. you were doing some last minute shopping for reese, ryan, and your little siblings. you had just finished battling with the crazy crowds and were exhausted. you set your plastic bags filled with presents in the backseat and were triple checking you had everything you bought. “i think you forget you this y/n,” zach said seriously. You turn around to see him holding mistletoe over you both. You roll your eyes and smirk. You grab his face and kiss him. After a moment, you pull away and see his cheeks even more flushed that usual. “You are so cheesy zach,” you say against his lips before giving him another peck. “Can we go get something to eat now? i’m starving”

[suedescripture]

Pinto, Hallmark Christmas movie AU

The Pine family has reigned over the Christmas season at The Grove for as long as most people can remember. Katie and Gwynne come up with new themes for the North Pole Village each year. Robert Pine is—in certain circles and according to ten out of ten children under the age of 12 in the greater metro area—considered the Real Santa Claus. And Chris is the cheeriest, happiest, Most Merry Santa’s Little Helper who has ever held the position (including when he booted Katie at the age of 17). He can charm a smile out of the surliest scrooge.

But listen, Zach works retail, and not even good retail, he works one of those godawful kiosks trying desperately to sign people up for phone service, and the only reason he’s making $15/hr now is because the great state of CA finally forced his boss to pony up a semi-realistic minimum wage (but Zach still lives in his newlywed brother’s basement, because Califuckingfornia). If there is anyone in this mall that hates the time of year when the glitter covered fake-ass cotton snow comes rolling out and That Family™ comes in and takes over the place, it’s this guy.

Oh Zach and Chris very nearly came to blows last year. The have A History. This will be Year Three in the Fallout between Chris the Friendliest Happiest Santa’s Elf and That Swarthy Guy with the Nasty Attitude At Kiosk 18. It made the local 6 o’clock news. Reporters are already staking out territory. Mall security isn’t happy about it.

It starts out similarly to last year. Chris leaves a Christmas candy on Zach’s kiosk when he’s not looking. A candy cane one day. An Andes mint chocolate. Those pillow thingies that squish weird in your teeth. Each time, Zach trashes them, gritting his teeth. So Chris ups the ante. He goes for the whole Terry’s Chocolate Orange, the kind you have to whack and then unwrap and you get perfect little slices of delicious orangey dark chocolate.

A cameraman from Channel 7 catches him squirreling it into his coat pocket, When confronted, with the camera in his face, he says defensively, “My mom loves them, and they’re impossible to find in Pittsburgh,” before running off.

Chris: 1, Zach: 0. Grumpy Zach is publicly outed as a Mama’s boy. The reporters send an affiliate to reach out to his mom in Pittsburgh for comment. She cracks the door and tells them her Zachary really is a sweet soft gentle boy, he’s just had a terrible time since his father passed on Christmas when he was just seven.

The following week, Zach makes two children cry by telling them Santa passes gas in the break room that smells like reindeer roast.

That’s where it comes to head this year, so the media doesn’t quite get wind of it. Chris walks in and confronts Zach at the coffeemaker, saying, “Don’t you dare bring my dad into this.”

“Why not? He’s a gassy Santa. It’s gross, he should see a doctor.”

“Yeah he is, but you don’t have to ruin Christmas for little kids just because you don’t have a dad!” Chris immediately covers his mouth after that pops out. It was out of line, and he knows it. Zach silently goes back to the kiosk with a pained rage on his face.

But it changes everything. Chris confesses what he said to his dad when they’re at home over hot cocoa with full sized marshmallows, and they he feels even worse because all he’s ever wanted was to cheer this poor guy up and let him have a good Christmas for once. Also he’s just kind of hot, and… and Chris knows he’s probably as sweet as his mom says, because who would know better but Zach’s own mom? And Bob, itching at the snowy beard that he’ll shave off as soon as the season is over, tells him, “Then stop making it a hostile takeover, a forceful assault demanding that Zach should be happy right now. Sometimes, Chris, especially with people who have losses and pain to deal with, the Spirit of Christmas is just in quiet moments of joy.”

Chris doesn’t do anything at all in the week leading up to Christmas, to the dismay of all the reporters and the gossipmongers. He and Zach keep their distance, but there is one instance where Chris drops an entire bucket of mini candy canes practically in Zach’s kiosk. He didn’t do it on purpose either, some asshole didn’t place a mat over a wire correctly, and a patron could have gotten hurt. A whole group of piney teenage girls swept right in to help Santa’s Hot Little Helper pick up the mess, which he milked with sweet grins and thanks and presenting each one with a sweet, but it was a camera from Channel 4 that caught Zach watching the whole thing, specifically staring at Chris’ ass before he rolled his eyes and picked up a remaining candy cane by his feet, tucking it in his pocket.

Another happened when the Christmas decorations strung over Zach’s kiosk come loose and covers him in glitter that would never fucking come out of his clothes, but it almost made him look positively festive for the rest of the day. Chris giggled every time he looked in his direction, and Zach caught him several times, scowling. “You did it on purpose,” Zach accuses over the coffeemaker.

“I didn’t,” says Chris, “But now you’re all sparkly. It’s cute.”

“I don’t sparkle.”

“All sparkly and shiny and pretty like a Christmas ornament.”

“I’m not pretty,” Zach frowns, flustered.

“Yeah, you are.”

Zach’s eyes widen in shock.

Oh. Chris turns beet red and leaves it at that. Whoops.

Finally it’s time for the Christmas Eve Finale, the part everyone is here for, because every year—and the reason he stole the position from Katie (though she was happy to give it up)—Chris sings a song and put on a little show. And boy howdy, Santa’s Little Helper can sing like Sinatra. And this year, Zach got scheduled to work til close, so he can’t skip out and leave like he did the last two years.

Chris puts on a snappy suit with a Christmasy paisley double-breasted waistcoat and a red bowtie (he has a friend who works at the Armani shop and did him a solid) and starts the show by walking up to Dad with a grin and steals his Santa hat. The lights go low, and the music starts, and Chris makes sure he can see Zach nonchalantly flipping the pages of a magazine as he starts to sing “Let’s make Christmas Merry, Baby”. It’s risky, but hopefully he can play it right. He casually strolls off the stage and in among the crowd and over towards the kiosk.

Zach tries to fight it, he tries to hide at first when he realizes what Chris is up to, but Chris’s cuts off his escape and as he sings “I’ll come around about midnight, fill your stocking full of toys.” Zach rolls his eyes and crosses his arms as Chris does a little twirl around him, singing “I’ll let you ride my reindeer, you won’t need a hobby horse,” as he pulls a pen from Zach’s breast pocket and writes his phone number on the heel of Zach’s hand with a heart. By the time he sings “I’ll bring you a chartreuse Cadillac and a diamond ring,” he’s got Zach’s full attention, because he’s shimmied his butt up on the the kiosk’s countertop and tugged Zach in between his legs, and parents are covering their little kid’s eyes, because… because…

Because Zach, the Scowling Scrooge of Phone Sales at the Grove, is smiling. Besotted. A little punch drunk looking as Santa’s Little Helper leaves a sweet kiss on his cheek and whispers in his ear, “I hope you’ll come at Christmas with me.”

And he does. Zach feels so awkward going over to the Pines for Christmas, but he puts on a dumb ugly sweater and carefully does his hair and awkwardly shows up with a bottle of wine, but they’re like so nice to him, and Bob Pine takes him aside and asks him about his family and (tongue-in-cheek) if there was anything that Santa could do that would help him feel better around this time of year, and fuck, he might as well be the real Santa Claus for as good as he is at reading people and saying the right thing. And then Chris gestures him out to the dark backyard and it’s kind of awkward, and Chris has glitter in his hair and Chris says he only has one wish for Christmas and it’s for a kiss.

He tastes like peppermint.

[poealsobucky]

Time to be Saved!

I’m spending Christmas Eve with Hot Joseph. Block ‘hot joseph 2017′ to disregard this post.

Sorry. I meant to start this earlier but my super Polish grandma would have come back to haunt me if I didn’t make pierogies first.

ANYWAYS. Let’s do this! Stream-of-consciousness style.

Disclaimer: I’m sober and was raised Catholic so some saltiness might appear.

Oscar I hope you know I’m watching this for you. Ugh. I could be watching elf.

Ooh there’s a word crawl! Foreshadowing?

Zachariah is gettin the good word - you’re gonna be a daddy! 

Oh shit he just ripped off his sacramental garb! 

Now we’re in a field. 

Mary, you aren’t allowed to have fun. TSK TSK

There he is! HOT JOSEPH EVERYBODY! Checkin out Mary as she walks by!

You know, Mary’s parents are not very nice.

I’m having CCD flashbacks. Help me hot Joseph.

Ohhhhhh he’s hammering.fjdjdn

Wait dudes on horses are interrupting his hammering.

Oh fuck someone didn’t pay their taxes. 

Joseph looks concerned

They are taking women to pay for taxes, fuck these dudes! HIDE YO DAUGHTERS!!!

Hide, Mary!!!!

HOT JOSEPH PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE ENOUGH CASH!!!

he BOUGHT THE MULE HE GAVE IT TO MARY THIS IS TRUE LOVE. HOLY MOLY HOT JOSEPH YOU ARE THE BEST 

The prophecy ain’t no myth. You’re all fucked.

Okay there is Persia, we’ve moved everyone. 

Codebreakers! Where’s dan brown?!

THESE ARE THE WISE MEN

They are intense. 

Oh back to Israel. 

JOSEPH IS THERE WAITING.

Mary just got told she was betrothed and now she’s married

See what happens when you accept a dude’s mule?

He just got the no sex talk from Mary’s old man.

She isn’t hearing it, she left

HOT JOSEPH I’M SORRY

MARY what’s up you saw him right? With your own eyes? 

You will love him Mary don’t worry.

Joseph is good AND strong. Mary isn’t so sure. She guesses he’s like 5′7 1/2 though which is towering back then.

There are creepy whispers...is that Gabriel? 

Mary found favor Idk they are talking softly 

More CCD flashbacks.

She just takes this ethereal strangers word for it ya know. What is she gonna tell Hot Joseph?

Mary wants to go see Zach and liz 

Looks like things are crazy on the road. She didn’t even say bye to HJ - based on what I have seen he won’t be happy 

Elizabeth knew! She knew Mary was preggo 

Hey it’s Mikael’s mom from The Promise! 

The wise men are still at it! Those rascals. 

Mary’s asking the tough questions.

Baby Jesus is moving - Liz, you don’t even know

HOT JOSEPH IS MAD!! HE IS POUNDING THAT HAMMER. Oh shit he threw it down! Someone has a temper issue! 

“Melchior, I don’t wanna go on a road trip!!!”- the other two wisemen

Labor ?

Looks terrible! 

Well. That happened.

Hot Joseph is super awkward. You can tell he’s a total dork. But lovable. I love that curly hair too, ya know?

Uh oh Mary is headed home! 

Bad things happened on that road, too. what is it with these roads, man? They look like Game of Thrones stopped by.

Men in power. *yawn*

This one guy looks like a Jonas brother 

Wait you are tryin to tell me only 2 wisemen set out? 

Ah there’s he is “you forgot the map.” They bicker like golden girls !!

HJ is so happy!!! Mary is back!!!

His eyes are HUGE, he’s seein’ her belly omg

She walked right past him too, didn’t say anything. 

Joseph wanders off, stunned. Well...this marriage is going well

He’s crying! Wtf Mary! You could be a little nicer! You’re the one that agreed to carry the messiah all HJ wanted was a nice house with a sturdy ROOF.

He chose her bc he thought she had great virtue! 

TEARY EYED HOT JOSEPH NOOOO

HE IS PROTECTING HER FROM TRIAL, no stones for Mary.

BUT HE AINT OK WITH IT YET 

His anger is intense! He’s walking...walking...some dude tries to hand him the biggest rock

Who are they stoning omg...wait a minute

He is dreaming !!!! There’s Gabe.

He believes her!! Gabe told him in his dream to believe her.

Ugh I think hot Joseph doesn’t get enough credit. 

Bad men are coming. There’s a census. 

Nothing good happens when people start taking notes. Especially the government.

HJ has to go to Bethlehem, the land of his ancestors.

Boy she hit the jackpot, didn’t she, with him. He’s like Sure I’ll walk the whole way and lead this donkey and not eat.

HJ just made a  funny! They are passing all the dbags who whisper about them all the time and he goes, “they are going to miss us.” 😂

HJ is gutting a fish and speaking softly. He wonders if he can teach Jesus anything...awww...hammering stuff probably

They got stopped and got searched cuz of paranoid king nutbag.

Some fortune teller just mentioned the kid wasn’t his, ouch. The look he gave her. 

Are they sacrificing the cow? “Pass your sins to the animal.” Really?

Omfg the animal isn’t receiving your sins you coward. You still have them because you’re evil. I hate them.

Poor donkey I mean... everything has it rough. But this donkey has seen some things.

HJ gave a giant piece of bread to the missus and took only a nibble for himself. 

He fed the donkey his share. Awwww he’s petting it and talking to it. “I’m the hungry one,” he says. You cheeky little carpenter.

OH NO THE DONKEY SAW A SNAKE AND KNOCKED MARY OFF INTO THE WATER!

HJ saves the day! 

He is doing so well but he’s exhausted. She is gonna wash his feet while she talks to herself and the baby about how pure Joseph is.

(PS - oscar sleeping is adorable sidenote red alert)

For HOT AIR, HJ’s curly hair is on point!

Ahhhh Jerusalem. “It was meant to be a holy city.”

Some dude grabs their coin purse. No, literally.

“What belongs to us, stays with us.” Don’t try to rob them. 

Now to Bethlehem. 

“What was your gift?” Mary asks the shepherd. “Nothing,” he replies.

I feel, shepherd.

She is in labor ohhhhhhh joseph it’s go time!

THERES THAT SHINY STAR

IT WAS JUST THREE THINGS ALIGNING I GUESS

HJ IS DELIVERING THIS KID. HES IN IT TO WIN IT

MAD LAUGHTER - Joseph is at a breaking point 

NAKED BABY BUTT cover it UP

OMG HJ HOLDING A BABY ughhhhhhhhhh it’s too much

HOT JOSEPH LOOKS SO VULNERABLE 

THE WISEMEN COMETH

it’s linus’ speech! 

HJ is too much. I stomped to this movie expecting to laugh a lot at bad filmmaking but dammit oscar  I wasn’t expecting this I wasn’t EXPECTING TO CARE ABOUT JOSEPH THIS MUCH I’M ROOTING FOR HIM (more than mary????? lol)

here COMES THE NEIGHBORHOOD

mary’s face thru much of this film has been fairly stony. Is she even present in the moment? haha

HJ cannot believe their gifts -  the gold is his fav but he’s feeling the myrrh too.

The wisecracking wise man is in shock. He was sassy this whole time, too.

Ya know, at least Mary didn’t have to be a single mom.

The wisemen are keeping the secret. Probably for the best, dudes. You heard the crazy people. 

Man I forgot what psychos these people were (are???!!!!!) over power

HJ getting the heck out of there just in time. He has to have SO MANY BLISTERS.

They are fleeing to Egypt

Apparently I didn’t pay attention in CCD, and also that poor donkey. I havent seen any of them eat in days.

Man kudos to oscar for ALL OF THE ENDLESS WALKING 

And it’s over.

 Thank you Hot Joseph. 

[unseelieofficial]

Episode 15 | Imbolc

SUMMARY It’s time for Horny Christmas! The gang attends Imbolc, where a whole mess of things happen. Somehow less messy than holidays we’ve attended before: sworn fealty, a fight, a new cable bitch, and short audiences with Queens Maeve and Circe, separately.

KEY QUOTE

They're led to the throne. It's... dramatic. The Winter Queen sits on an ornate throne, made of dark wood and gold. She herself is a sight to behold- a much bigger, much scarier, much more feminine version of Robin, if such a person could exist. Her dress looks like it's made of frost- silver fabric that glitters in the firelight. Her golden hair is braided back, a crown of snowdrops atop her head. Her silver eyes are narrowed, her face twisting into a grin you've definitely never seen on Robin's face as you approach.

Robin rushes up, giving her a stiff bow before taking a spot by her side. Ledge, looking suitably out of place, sheepishly helps Feli up all these stairs, and stands awkwardly beside the two brothers.

On the other side of the queen is... well, some sort of fae. He's very tall, most of his face covered by a golden helmet, which two fuzzy black ears poke out the sides of. He stands sort of awkwardly, hunched over- but he's huge all the same, clawed hands gripping a seriously scary looking golden spear, the rest of his body drowning in gold and black robes, glossy black hair spilling in curls down his back.

NOTES

We’re told to get into formal wear and head to the Winter Court for Imbolc

The demons, Othello and Jasper, are “collared” to show they’re attending as guests/property and aren’t to be murdered

Mia is married and she is a mother. 

In the Winter Court, we’re taken by an elf woman (Lyra) to see Circe. She has Sadie and Dorian swear fealty to her, as they hadn’t sworn to Oberon before he disappeared / he wasn’t around to dispute Circe

Sadie and Dorian get to fight a Fae at Circe’s side, a very handsome dude named Zachariel with some wolfish qualities about him.

The fight goes well. Poppy Divines that Zach is a werewolf, but can’t do much to help.

They win, almost too well. We have to call in a heal from Sweet Pea

Othello tries to help him - he knew Zach’s wife? But Zach isn’t married.

Jimothy clues Poppy in. Zach is from Sunshine Initiative, Vanya’s man.

A new dude enters the ring, giving medical advice. A Mayweather. Max yells at him to stay the fuck away. He’s also working for Icarus Complex now. And also he’s dead.

Hiring him was allegedly Wilson’s idea.

Zach gets healed and we’re free to Misc and Hellzone the party. 

In Misc, the gang gets to know Cal(ypso), Icarus Complex’s new cable bitch. Athena also meets him and it doesn’t go very well. Shit’s hostile.

Back at it.

Micah is hanging around now, as is Zach. (Sunshine) Jimothy and Othello know them like old friends.

We head out to find the Morrigan, who is in the crowd of a scrap between Athena and her sister, Marinette.

The new guy, Calypso, is the Morrigan’s nephew

Athena wins, and the Morrigan takes us to Maeve

Maeve is arm wrestling a horse. The horse is Ledge. He is not currently a horse. Unfortunately.

We request help and information. As a neutral state, Maeve says we’ll have to fight them for it at a later date.

Until then, they’ll hang on to Not!Isaiah for safekeeping.

We are invited to spend the night at Maeve & the Morrigan’s place

Shenanigans continue in misc.

Plot-Heavy Points from Misc:

A game of truth or dare gets nasty when Jasper dares Othello to pretend to break up with Folly.

Poppy, Othello, and Jimothy talk and hash out some major talking points. Condensed:

Jimothy’s glamour broke when he visited where the goblins used to live

Poppy talked to Circe and learned very little. The doppelgangers were under demon control.

Othello and Folly are over for good. 

Othello is a full demon prince now, and Zach is his Knight

[allpromarlo]

zach wilson looks like a christmas elf