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[the-truth-since-1997]

1.14.2018

Truth #9: Don’t blame yourself for the actions of others

When you’re upset or something that somebody did hurt you, it’s surprisingly easy to turn around and blame yourself for what happened even though there’s nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening. I once had a really physically and emotionally traumatic experience with someone and I blamed my own actions instead of realizing that the situation wasn’t in my control and none of it was actually my fault. We’re quick to forgive other people and hold ourselves accountable when we don’t want to believe that somebody could hurt us or use us like that but in reality we never did anything to provoke it. Sometimes things happen that are out of our control and we have to realize that it’s not our responsibility or fault. It’s just the way it is. So don’t carry around the weight of someone else’s mistakes.

[the-truth-since-1997]

1.11.2018

Truth #8: Love is complicated

Sometimes the person you love the most will hurt you and you’ll hurt them back to protect yourself from feeling hurt. You’ll never be able to understand the mess when you’re in it, but sometimes it helps to take a step back and evaluate the relationship as a whole. It’s okay to admit your mistakes and apologize for them, but you also need to know your worth. Love can make you do crazy things like lose yourself in the process, but you have to be able to say that you’re an independent person outside of it. Nothing worthwhile and important is ever easy, and if you think the love you want is worth fighting for, you have to be prepared to risk it all. You have to accept the fact that you may be hurt a lot. If you can’t bring yourself to invest in it, then you need to ask yourself if it’s worth it. Everyone should love and be loved, but just because you’re chasing love doesn’t mean you should stop chasing your dreams.

[the-truth-since-1997]

1.7.2018

Truth #7: Everything happens for a reason

I have lost many people I love for various reasons, and every time I do I feel like my world is ending. I never understood why they had to leave me and why I had to go through so much pain, but sometimes there’s a reason behind it that we can’t see. So many events that take place in the course of your life may be hard to explain, but they needed to happen to make you who you are today. It may seem unfair and at points you may get frustrated, but it all leads to the bigger picture-your future.

[the-truth-since-1997]

12.31.17

Truth #6: It’s never too late to start over

We often think our mistakes will haunt us forever and will pave the way for our future. Many say there’s no going back. But no matter what you’ve done, how badly you’ve messed up and strayed from yourself, you can always change who you are and what you stand for. It will never be too late to be a new person. Life can be confusing and we all lose our way at some point, but that doesn’t mean we can’t come back from it. You can’t control the future, but you can control who you become.

[the-truth-since-1997]

12.24.2017

Truth #5: Life is too short to not enjoy the little moments

It could be as simple as waking up on a lazy Sunday morning making eggs and coffee while watching your favorite talk show. Or as easy as reading a book in the park in the summertime. Lately, the world has been touch-and-go and everyone thinks that life is all about travelling everywhere and being constantly busy. While it’s fun to see new things and plan out your future, it’s also very satisfying to be able to breathe and just relax in the moment. When your life becomes hectic and stressful, you’re going to appreciate the little moments that seemed so insignificant at the time. Those small memories are always the ones worth holding onto in times of stress and hardships. In the end, all the moments will pass, so appreciate them at every chance you get.

[the-truth-since-1997]

12.20.2017

Truth #4: Some loves just aren’t meant to work out 

Be it a friendship type of love or a romantic love, not everything is meant to last. You may be caught up in a whirlwind of emotions and think that the love you’re receiving is worth dying for and risking your entire future for. But there are so many other people out there who can love you and not simultaneously destroy your life. No type of love is worth losing your family and friends over. Love is amazing and when it’s the right type of love, it’s not going to make your life harder than it needs to be. No form of love should cause you stress or make you feel like you have to abandon everything including yourself just to obtain it. If it becomes difficult to the point where you’re stressing yourself out over it all the time, it’s not a healthy relationship at all. You shouldn’t be giving your all for someone who won’t even sacrifice any single part of themselves for you. Know your worth. 

[the-truth-since-1997]

12.17.2017

Truth #3: Life is unpredictable

Although we may endlessly plan and envision our future, none of us know what is actually going to happen. I have spent my life planning out everything I’m going to do and more often than not, it has backfired in my face. It becomes difficult to follow through with things when life throws something at you. That doesn’t mean you have to give up and it also doesn’t mean you always have to power through it. Sometimes, it’s ok to take time off for yourself to rebuild and reevaluate the situation you’re in. The good thing about the future is that it hasn’t happened yet so you always have time to prepare for it. You may think you have your whole life laid out but I’m telling you now, that plan is going to change a million times before you even reach what is actually in store for you. All the planning in the world can’t prepare you for the unexpected, so don’t take it upon yourself to stress out over it. Sometimes you just have to let life take its course and trust that you’ll come out with a whole new perspective on life with new goals and aspirations. Your plans may not always work out, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a bad thing.

[the-truth-since-1997]

[the-truth-since-1997]

recovery is not ‘soon i will be untouched, perfect, and in a permanent state of bliss. i will be healed and all will be well, forever.’

recovery is ‘i will continue to survive despite what happens, i will find ways to cope instead of continually tearing myself down. i will recover and will see myself in a light that i never thought was possible.’

[the-truth-since-1997]

Here’s a secret: Everyone, if they live long enough, will lose their way at some point. You will lose your way, you will wake up one morning and find yourself lost. This is a hard, simple truth. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, consider yourself lucky. When it does, when one day you look around and nothing is recognizable, when you find yourself alone in a dark wood having lost the way, you may find it easier to blame it on someone else – an errant lover, a missing father, a bad childhood – or it may be easier to blame the map you were given – folded too many times, out-of-date, tiny print – but mostly, if you are honest, you will only be able to blame yourself. One day I’ll tell my daughter a story about a dark time, the dark days before she was born, and how her coming was a ray of light. We got lost for a while, the story will begin, but then we found our way.

Nick Flynn, The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2009 (via theglasschild)

[the-truth-since-1997]

12.13.2017

Truth #2: The world doesn’t revolve around us

Often times, we find ourselves to be so focused on what’s going on in our lives that we forget that people have lives outside of us. I know that I’m very guilty of this. In light of my recent surgeries and the current state of my family’s financial issues added onto college stress, I’ve been pressed so hard that I’ve failed to see what is happening in the lives of those around me. It’s good to sometimes pull back and focus on yourself, but you should also keep in mind that people can’t always be there for you when you need them. Due to the fact that I have been indoors for 6 weeks now, I’ve often felt like the world has abandoned me. Although I know it’s not true, I feel like my friends don’t care about me or think about me nearly as much as I think about them. But the truth is that everyone is fighting their own battles and as long as they still talk to you and check on you from time to time, just know that they still care. They’re just busy trying to keep their lives in order. So don’t be too hard on your friends or family. You have to learn how to be there for yourself. Of course some support is nice and you should always feel like you have people you could call or text when you need it. Just know that despite whatever problems you’re going through, someone else is facing their own demons.

[the-truth-since-1997]

I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

[the-truth-since-1997]

[the-truth-since-1997]

[the-truth-since-1997]

I Am Drowning

Ever since i can remember i’ve had to step up and be the person i need to be in that moment. I have never walked away from something i have always stepped and been who i was supposed to be even when i gave up i didn’t completely i built my self a story making everyone believe i was fine trying to convince them and myself that i was fine. I pulled myself together to make everyone else believe i was fine i stepped once again and became the person that needed to be there in that moment. But sometime it gets to you and you are just tired of stepping up and being who you need to be. Sometimes i think about running away picking up my things and just taking off to a place where no one knows me a fresh new start.  To a place where i could be myself where i didn’t have to worry about anyone else but myself but then i get started thinking and planning and i stop myself because i have thought my self my entire life to step up and be who i need to be in that moment and that person doesn’t run away. That girl can not be selfish that girl will always put everyone before herself that girl will always step up and be who she needs to be in that moment. Because that girl will never show the world that she is drowning inside that girl will always get  out of bed and put on that smile and step up. Even if she is tired of being a fraud to herself of not having the courage to take her things and go figure out who she really is to find her true self and finally get her life started. I am tired of being that girl i am really really tired of being her but i have been her for so long that i have no idea how to be anyone else that is not her.

[the-truth-since-1997]

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[the-truth-since-1997]

12.8.2017

I’m here to help you unlock the truths of life. Whether it be a truth from my life, a truth from your life (which you can anonymously send in and I’ll gladly post for you!) or a truth about life itself. After years of hiding everything from the people in my life including myself, I’ve decided to reveal parts of my life and experiences. I want to live a life where I can say that no matter what I’ve done or what I’ve gone through, I’ve been honest about it all. Honest with my friends, my family, and most importantly, honest with myself. Life can be rough and it becomes even harder when you feel like you’re hiding from yourself and your inner thoughts. I’m a person that has put out multiple personas of myself and I never really knew (and still kind of don’t. So don’t worry, I’m figuring myself out just like everyone else on this planet) which part of me was real. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that while I was protecting myself from being hurt by other people that I ended up protecting me from myself to the point where I didn’t know who I was. It became frustrating and that’s when I knew that I had to change something. I couldn’t keep living life feeling like I didn’t know the real me or that I was hiding from my problems instead of facing them head on. So starting today, I’ve made a new life style based off of a classic childhood icebreaker: 

Two truths and no lie.

Twice a week, every week, I will be revealing hidden truths from my life, your life (if you decide to submit something. Will get back to this), or observations that I’ve made based on the lives of the people around me. 

Submissions: If you want to, feel free to submit anything you want me to post for you. If you feel like you need to get something off your chest, or if you have realized a part of yourself that you didn’t know existed and you want everyone to know, this is the place where you can feel safe and encouraged to just be who you are. And if you don’t think you’re ready to announce it just yet but you still want that feeling of relief and freedom, you can submit the post to me anonymously and I will post it for you, or you can specify in the bottom if you just want it to stay between us. 

So for today, I’ll leave you with this:

Truth #1: It’s not always easy to be who you are, but I promise it will get easier.