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[thenextyounow]

HYPNOSIS SHOWN TO HELP GUT HEALTH

This doesn’t mean that gut problems are all in your mind. Rather, the good news is that scientific research has now shown the your mind is powerful enough to remediate the painful symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). That’s the condition that multiple teams of investigators from The Menninger Clinic, Baylor College of Medicine, and several VA hospitals have been studying at different sites. 

The researchers weren’t just investigating the effectiveness of hypnosis and hypnotherapy but also of guided imagery, cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based stress reduction, biofeedback, and what they call emotional awareness training. Turns out that all these integrative, mind-body medicine interventions work.

I learned about this from a recent Health Journeys newsletter from Belleruth Naparstek, a psychotherapist, award-winning author, and pioneer in the field of guided imagery. 

Belleruth added that those reviewing the studies “concluded that there was evidence for the effectiveness of [the] treatments, but more studies were needed” to figure out exactly what about them was producing the relief from symptoms. 

Learn more at https://tinyurl.com/preview.php?num=y3q4atmj

This links you to a preview containing the full link. This way you can be assured that clicking that full link will take you to Belleruth’s bonafide Health Journey’s site. 

May you and your belly be well!

Photo: ID 71088034 © Robert Kneschke | Dreamstime.com

[thenextyounow]

I’m Back in the SF Bay Area with a New Offering

Are you avoiding watching the news? Or plunged into anger or sadness every time you do? Does free-floating anxiety ever grip you when you wake in the morning or try to go to sleep at night? And what if the current turbulence gets worse? Do you worry about whether you'll be able to keep your bearings and help others keep theirs?

I’ve experienced all of this and have been developing a set of personal daily practices that really help. Perhaps you have, too. During my time in the Bay Area--through Sunday, May 13, 2018--I’m offering, as a gift, to host one or more mutual support and empowerment gatherings that include a mini-workshop in which I share what’s been working for me and invite you to chime in, if you wish, what you’ve been doing along these lines.

I know in my gut that as we do this, individually and together, we not only take our self to the next level of aliveness, truth, justice, and joy but we also help all of humanity to take a quantum leap forward. I invite you to join me in imagining an irreversible planetary shift from fear to love. Maybe, just maybe, the messes we’re in are the intense labor pains of a worldwide rebirth.

In addition to my no-charge Inner Tools for Turbulent Times gatherings, I’m also facilitating Rising Star Energy Healing sessions--a great way to make that fear-to-love shift--and my usual hypnotherapy and breakthrough coaching sessions. Read all about these on my events page.

If you’re not available during this visit or you live outside the SF Bay Area, please know that you can receive my Rising Star, hypnotherapy, and coaching sessions remotely.

[thenextyounow]

READY TO RECEIVE A LIFE  UPGRADE . . . WITH HELP FROM THE COSMOS?

If you slept through the Super Full Blue/Blood Moon and Total Lunar Eclipse on the last day of January (or, in some parts of the world, the first day of February) and fear you missed what Global Energy Forecaster Elizabeth Peru called “a window of profound change,” you can stop worrying.

Elizabeth also talked about the Eclipse Season that this unusual combination of Full Moon events set in motion. The good news is that this potent period, which includes a New Moon and Partial Solar Eclipse on February 15/16,  lasts roughly a month, and doesn’t end until March 1 (or 2, depending on where you live).

Eclipses, says Elizabeth--my favorite guide to cosmic happenings and how they affect us--are doorways that allow us to release what no longer serves so that our life can rise to the next level.

This extremely potent 2018 Eclipse Season is an opportunity for a personal upgrade at all levels. According to Elizabeth, “the two-week doorway between eclipses is when our answers are revealed.”

“Light is being shone,” she explains, “On what was a puzzle to you re: relationships, work, family and importantly your personal blocks.”

If you pay close attention to the wording, you might notice that this personal upgrade that Elizabeth is talking about is not something we make happen through sheer force of will and doggedness (a belief that I’m letting go). Rather it’s something we receive.

Yes, we need to ask for what we long for and take one step at a time in the direction of our dream. But, above all, we need to relax and trust that what our heart desires will come to us.

You might be surprised by all the help you receive when you align yourself with Heaven and Earth and set the upgrade process in motion. It’s taken me by surprise time and again.

The “Force” is with us, my friends. And the best part is that it’s not forceful. Elizabeth’s (and my) theme for 2018 is “Push less, allow more.” Enjoy the ride.

[The above photo captures the look of a lunar eclipse even though it’s taken of the moon’s phases. Because the photo is from the “commons,” you can re-use it however you wish without worrying about royalties.]

Phases of Moon Photo

© creativecommonsstockphotos

ID 96116072 | Dreamstime Stock Photo

[thenextyounow]

Ready to amplify the healing power of your private practice?

During this time of radical disruption--and enormous possibility--I’ve been looking for ways that I might better serve my clients and humanity. Last year I was fortunate enough to be trained in an energy healing modality that brought me into deeper alignment with myself and the greater whole. 

The Rising Star Healing System shifted me from paralysis to action--calm, compassionate, joyful action. And I’ve maintained this state--with small waivers now and then--despite being faced with the same triggers that had sent me into paralysis previously. Other Rising Star recipients report similar beneficial and lasting changes of state--physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

I want to let other practitioners know about this powerful, yet gentle modality--and to offer them the possibility of training to be a Rising Star practitioner. That’s why this past June I traveled to Ireland for an advanced training that allows me to train others to be RS practitioners.

That’s also why I’m now traveling from my Southern Oregon home to the SF Bay Area to hold small-group, informational gatherings about Rising Star. I want practitioners to have the information they need--plus a demonstration--to decide whether this is a modality that they--you?-- would like to incorporate into their practice.

I’ve found Rising Star to be highly complementary to my long-time practice as a clinical hypnotherapist and life coach. Many psychotherapists and massage therapists--actually, therapists and mentors of all stripes--from around the world have found that it complements their practices well.

Interested? Contact me ASAP. On this trip I’m scheduling these small-group gatherings and individual Rising Star sessions through Wednesday, September 20, Depending on demand, I’ll return to the Bay Area in early November. [Check my EVENTS page.]

Would you like a FREE Rising Star session? That’s what you’ll receive if you gather a small group of interested friends and colleagues and host a gathering.

If you live elsewhere on the West Coast and would like to host an informational gathering, I’d be happy to talk with you about that possibility.

Learn more about Rising Star at the site of Derek O’Neill, the Irish psychotherapist, humanitarian, and “Celtic sage” who brought through this system. 

Why I’m doing this: I believe that what the world needs now, more than ever, are people who can experience and maintain states of love, joy, calm, and compassion in high-stress situations. I’m imagining vibrant networks of people with clear minds, open hearts, and balanced flows of physical energy coming alive and serving, each in their unique way, the greater good. I personally am committed to shifting from complaining about what’s wrong with the old systems to creating the new.

[thenextyounow]

I’m bringing a new healing modality to Bay Area this September

Hypnotherapy, The Passion Test, and Breakthrough Life Coaching are not the only kinds of sessions I'll be facilitating on my upcoming trip to the SF Bay Area. During my stay--Saturday, Sept. 9, through Wednesday, Sept. 20--I'm also introducing a powerful, yet gentle, energy-healing modality called Rising Star.

THE RISING STAR HEALING SYSTEM:

Releases trapped emotions

Rebalances the physical body

Relieves stress, anxiety, worry, depression

Promotes self-love and empowerment

Rising Star works by directing energy from Source (the Universe) to the Source within the client, via the chakra system.

I’ve benefited greatly from it and am thrilled to share this transformative Source-to-Source healing modality with you. 

I’m also delighted to be back in one of my favorite places on the planet, reconnecting with clients, colleagues, friends and family. I’ve been missing you!

LEARN MORE about Rising Star.

CONTACT ME to schedule a FREE, 30-minute telephone consultation to find out whether Rising Star is a good fit for you--or whether a better choice at this time might be to schedule a hypnotherapy, Passion Test, or breakthrough coaching session with me.

I’m providing the free consult to those of you who have been clients of mine in the past as well as to those considering working with me for the first time.

Ready to schedule a session? Check out:

MY BAY AREA SCHEDULE & SESSION LOCATIONS--Check now and later. I may be adding events and updating the schedule.

[thenextyounow]

The Embrace of the Sun and the Moon--an ongoing gift of the Eclipse

Has the window closed on the chance to take advantage of the powerful gifts of the Total Solar Eclipse of August 21? Not in my experience.  

Just this morning I listened again to a 10-minute video in which a Peruvian shaman speaks of the “Big Medicine” of this rare North American, Pacific-to-Atlantic-Ocean phenomenon and provides viewers with a brief experience of its healing power. Immediately I felt my heart warm and expand, just as I had at the peak of the eclipse. And again this intense feeling stayed with me for more than an hour.

I realized that what had opened in me more than a week ago is still accessible, that the power of the eclipse is ongoing. I feel its momentum every day as I take small steps to do more to bring my own gifts to the world. To paraphrase an Irish blessing, the wind is at my back, the road is rising to meet me.

Are you feeling this, too? Or would you like to? It’s not too late to tap into this stream of power released by the eclipse.

Engaging via video with a Peruvian shaman may or may not be your cup of tea. It worked wonders for me. And I trust that you can find your own way of keeping connected to what was set in motion on August 21.

I simply fell in love with don Oscar Miro-Quesada’s interpretation of the total eclipse. He describes it as the loving embrace of Father Sun and Mother Moon. I plan to meditate on that image regularly. I want to feel inside, over and over again, the healing of old wounds inflicted by the war between the masculine and feminine. This war has raged in my own head and heart all the years of my life, as well as in my family, my culture, and, for millennia, in most human cultures.  For me, the sight of Father Sun and Mother Moon embracing is a balm to these wounds.

Don Oscar speaks of how this eclipse has the power to re-align us and our relationships with love and wisdom. In his words, it “balances all opposition . . . all polarity.

I’ve been reflecting on how, when the masculine and the feminine are viewed as separate and in opposition, they give rise to dissension and wars. When experienced as part of a single larger whole, they generate partnership and peace. Besides living through my own battles and seeing them play out in the world in brutal fashion, I’ve also experienced exquisite times of partnership and peace, both within and without. The loving embrace of apparent opposites within a single whole is possible.

“May wholeness be so, within me and in the world.” That was my prayer on August 21 and again this morning.

If you want to view don Oscar’s short video, here’s the link:

http://blog.theshiftnetwork.com/blog/peruvian-shamanic-wisdom-solar-eclipse-plus-powerful-alignment-practice

Illustration credit: ID 20511971 © Dvargfoto | Dreamstime

[thenextyounow]

Ride the Wave of the Solar Eclipse and the Power of 2017

Ready to take your life in a new, more aligned direction? Also a bit scared about what this will mean? How far out of your comfort zone will you have to go? How much time and effort will it take? Do you--like me--sometimes feel on the verge of losing heart about completing a beloved project, cultivating a fulfilling relationship, or creating a fresh way of living and serving?

Take heart!  I have it on good authority that, because of unique cosmic alignments during this Post-Solar Eclipse period, the Universe is supporting us more than ever. We need only take small steps in a direction aligned with who we really are--our authentic self--for the power of these steps to be amplified many times over. What makes my heart happy is that this momentum and amplification continues through the end of this year and for two months beyond. To learn more, check out what Eric Coppolino has to say:

Summer of Trust: The Great American Eclipse

The Fulcrum, the Venturi Effect, and the Cycle of Fire

Also, aside from the planetary alignments, the Year 2017 is the first year in a new 10-year cycle, according to numerology: 2+0+1+7 = 10 = 1+0 = 1. This makes it an extremely propitious time to begin new endeavors, be they personal, spiritual, artistic, professional, or relationship- or service-oriented. And this period of momentum and support also continues through February 2018.  

For more on this, check out Elizabeth Peru’s blog post for March 9, 2017 (scroll down to “You Are Reaping the Rewards of Your Past 10 Years.”): https://elizabethperu.com/blog/?offset=1490240701885

But don’t let this long stretch of time lull you into procrastination--a favorite avoidance technique of mine. Note to both of us: The momentum is greatest right now. So take some time soon to clarify your desired direction and to list a few baby steps that will take you there. Then, one by one, take those steps.

You just might find yourself catching your own, personal cosmic wave and riding it toward your heart’s desire with greater ease and grace than you can imagine.

Photo credit: ID 14674842 © Paul Topp | Dreamstime -- Subject: Professional Surfer Cecilia Enriquez surfing at Rocky Point, Hawaii

[thenextyounow]

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, everybody! I’m sending love to you all. Fill yourself up with it and pass it on to whomever or wherever it is needed.

IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHY I’VE ADDED THE MOON (with the Earth in the background), it’s because we’ve just experienced a full moon and a penumbral lunar eclipse--which you may already know. What you might not know is that a rare arrangement of planets accompanied this. With the earth in the center, the Sun and the Moon on one side faced Venus and Jupiter on the other, forming a celestial rectangle. Some people connected those dots differently and called it a pentagram. 

Several of my sources who interpret astronomical movements and their effects on us earthlings were quite excited. “This is a magnificent sign,” said global energy forecaster Elizabeth Peru, “of cooperation, expansion, self-worth, and balance.” Couldn't we all use more of that right now? 

Elizabeth and others also spoke of the lunar eclipse as an energetic doorway, or portal, that we can use to receive a cosmic “assist” in bringing our heart’s desires into actuality. 

SO WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS AFTER THE FACT?  Because it’s NOT YET AFTER THE FACT.  According to Elizabeth, this doorway stays open until the new moon--and the solar eclipse that accompanies this. That takes place where I am (west coast of the USA) on the morning of Sunday, February 26. 

IF YOU THINK ALL THIS INTERPRETATION IS BUNK, please know that I’m not trying to convince you of the rightness of what I’m saying. The astronomical facts remain--a lunar eclipse accompanied by a rare celestial body arrangement. You might simply want to enjoy this natural phenomenon and bask in whatever energetic remnants remain with us in the aftermath.

IF YOU’RE STILL WITH ME and happy to know that you can still take advantage of the cosmic boost accompanying the recent lunar eclipse, go for it! If you’re not sure how, here’s a process that works for me and my friends. First, tune into what your heart’s desire is. Then notice what’s in the way. What emotions come up? FEEL into these--the sensations, not the mental stories and judgments. Then FORGIVE yourself (and any others involved). You may begin to notice some heaviness dropping away. Once you feel lighter and less the victim of circumstances, REFRAME the situation. How does this look and feel? Are you now ready to walk through that doorway? Crawl through that wormhole? Fly through the portal? Do it! How is life on the other side?

If your experience is anything like mine and my friends who have done this, you’ve just cleared the way, big time, for your dreams to become real much sooner than you previously imagined. 

We live in a quantum universe where our thoughts, feelings, and imaginings effect change. What kind of change do you want to invoke? Provoke? Midwife into existence?

For more from Elizabeth Peru on global energy forecasts and opportunities, go to elizabethperu.com. 

CREDITS: Flower foliage (with sun)-- Author: Neo Edmund; Moon & earth © Jacques70 | Dreamstime Stock Photos

[thenextyounow]

Heading into February 2017--Why Is This Week So Powerful?

Have you felt it? That power? Maybe in the women’s marches around the world? From little Ashland, OR (my home base), to Alaska to Antarctica (!), not to mention Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, and the big mama march in Washington, DC. Plus in many other cities and towns in every region of the USA and on every continent. With the number of marchers (women, children and those who support women and children) breaking records and doubling, tripling, and quadrupling the original estimates. According to reports, it all started when a retiree in Hawaii posted to a few dozen friends on Facebook her suggestion that women march at the Capitol mall the day after Trump’s inauguration. This phenomenon has been as organic and grassroots as it gets.

Or maybe you woke up, as I did the last couple of mornings, feeling a flame in the belly that hadn’t been there for months, or maybe a year or two. And a sense of . . . possibility, despite superficial evidence to the contrary. 

According to my sources, ancient and contemporary, this is no fluke. Every year at this time for millennia, the Celts--pagan and, later, Christian, with a strong, earthy flavor--have celebrated Brigid’s Day (aka Imbolc, St. Brigid’s Feast, Candlemas, and that strange but lovable Yankee version, Groundhog Day). 

According to druidry.org, Imbolc is “the harbinger and the evidence that better times are coming.” Oooh, may it be so. 

Astronomically speaking, the first of February marks the mid-point between the Winter Solstice (longest night) and the Spring Equinox (night and day equal). Botanically speaking, the hundreds of delicate-looking buds on my two beautiful Daphne bushes--my personal harbingers of Spring--are about to burst into full flower and fragrance, despite the freezing night-time temperatures. And numerologically speaking, we are now at the beginning of Year One of a brand new ten-year cycle (2017 = 2 + 0 + 1 + 7 = 10. And that 1 + 0 = 1.) 

According to the weekly Global Energy Forecast I receive from Elizabeth Peru in Australia, all of the signs and harbingers she pays attention to indicate that if our vision for what we want to create this year is clear and it’s in alignment with our soul’s impulses and we steadily take action steps to bring this vision into form, we will be amazed at the results. To use Star Wars “speak,” The Force is with us this year more than ever. 

Circling back to Brigid . . . in the Celtic pantheon she holds a place of great power and complexity. She is the Triple Goddess--maiden, mother, and crone. As a solar deity, she is associated with light, inspiration, and the skills that involve fire. Traditionally she is the patron of healing, poetry, and smithing. I love to imagine her standing at her anvil and working with her hammer to shape red-hot, precious metals into whatever beautiful and practical forms her heart desires.

In this year of breakdown, creative chaos, and the possibility of transformation, would you like to shape your life into the form you most desire? 

Consider taking inspiration from Brigid. Remember those December dreams you had that may have planted golden seeds of possibility in your belly? Choose the one, two, or three dreams that most enliven you. Ask what is needed to bring these into form. Gather the supplies, tools, and helpers required, and hammer out--or weave (Brigid did that, too) or tap dance or write or sing or sew or coordinate or administer or just plain live your dream of a life into an actual life. Brigid is with you, unexpected allies will soon show up, and come next Winter Solstice, you’ll be celebrating all you have created--and getting ready to dream again.

________________

The Fire Goddess photo above is by © Dorothyfamiano | Dreamstime.com - <a href="https://www.dreamstime.com/editorial-photo-fire-goddess-roaring-bon-dark-corner-abandoned-property-old-stone-benches-background-image43649851#res6291098">Fire Goddess Photo</a>

[thenextyounow]

Have you set your intentions for 2017? 

If so, hurrah for you!  Heading into February is a super-powerful time to revisit them, maybe even tweak them, and to begin turning them from visions into form. (You can skip the next paragraph, including question sets #1 and 2.) 

If not, hurrah for you! This is an exceptional time to set intentions. Grab pen and paper right now. But before your jot down your intentions, daydream a bit. Imagine it’s the end of December 2017 and you’re celebrating your year. Ask yourself (and jot down):

How am I different than I was back in January? What shifts in a way of BEING have I made that I really feel good about? (See as well as feel this new you. Luxuriate in being more fully who you are,} 

What have I DONE over the course of the year? What accomplishments do I want to celebrate myself for? (Imagine this celebration. Give yourself some very specific praise--and receive this from others.)

From these two lists, choose your top 3-5 intentions for the year--the ones that, when you imagined them, brought you most alive. Write these down. And leave lots of space between each item.

Now--very important--have a calendar handy, and take one more step. Beneath each of your top intentions, write one concrete (measurable or observable) action you promise yourself you will take to begin bringing this intention into actuality. On your calendar, mark the date by which you will have done this--and imagine how good it feels. You can write and schedule more than one, but don’t overdo it. No more than three actions per intention!

As you were writing your intentions and scheduling your actions, did any “stories” come up? Stories that undermined the good feeling? Messages to yourself like “I’ll never do that” or “I don’t have the time (or money) for this” or [fill in the blank]?

No need to get on your case for this. You’re human. If you want, you can have fun with these stories the way some friends and I did on this past Winter Solstice. Last December 20th, after writing our intentions, my friends and I burned our Let-Go lists. Poof! We watched those downer stories go up in smoke. (That’s us in the photo above.)

You can do this, too. On a piece of paper separate from your intentions list, write down the beliefs, self-talk, and habits that most get in the way of your carrying out your intentions. Then find a safe way to burn this list. 

We filled a bowl with sand and stuck a sturdy pillar candle in the middle of it. Then we carried this outside to my front lawn, made sure the lit candle was away from anything flammable, and took turns using it to set fire to our lists full of our old, tired stories. Ooooh, did that feel good!

[thenextyounow]

Make the Best Decision at Every Fork in Your Life’s Road

Five years ago friends introduced me to a simple yet profound process that ensures that every decision you make is aligned with your core self. This process, called The Passion Test, set me on a new, more fulfilling life path. It also helped me make better, more enlivening daily decisions. As I practiced the PT system, my next best self unfolded quickly and naturally.

I was skeptical at first. I’m already living on purpose, I thought, and I have a long list of passions. Why do I need yet another consciousness tool? After taking the Passion Test, I learned that what I hadn’t done is dip beneath the obvious first layer of passions to those that felt like a stretch or even an indulgence. By the end of my PT process, the list of my top five passions contained surprises.

Following one of those unexpected new directions, I became a certified Passion Test facilitator. As I introduced friends and clients to this life-changing process, I saw many of them paying attention to an underdeveloped side of themselves while letting go of aspects of their life that had been keeping them from the full expression of their gifts. Some felt relief and reassurance, others bubbled with unexpected joy, and all experienced a sense of greater possibility.

If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area, I’m coming your way in October and offering, among other things, a Passion Test Workshop. Check my EVENTS page for details.

If you live far from the Bay Area--or Southern Oregon (where I live)--please know that I’m happy to guide you through the Passion Test by telephone or Skype. CONTACT ME to ask any questions you have or to schedule your pair of individual PT sessions (or hypnotherapy or breakthrough coaching sessions.).

Want to hear what Jack Canfield (of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) has to say about his experience with the PT? Meet the PT founders, Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood? And learn a lot more about this powerful system, now taught around the world?  Go to my Passion Test site (linked to this main site).

The Passion Test is a simple yet profound process that takes you beneath your thinking mind and social conditioning to reveal what feels best and makes you most come alive. 

The results can surprise you--and change your life.

[thenextyounow]

I’m visiting the SF Bay Area again in early Oct. 2016

[Go to my EVENTS page for details.]

I love returning to this alive and beautiful place where I have lived off and on from kindergarten days to 2005. While I’m now happily residing in a small town just above the Northern California border, I do enjoy connecting with family, friends, colleagues, students, and clients in SF Bay Area.

If this includes you, and you’d like to reconnect with me, please get in touch. By some miracle, we might find a time when we can meet in “real time.”

Among the “organized” ways you and I can connect is an affordable, small-group workshop in which I’ll help people up their joy quotient by clarifying what brings them alive and learning a simple decision-making system that keeps them aligned with who they really are. Check out my PASSION TEST WORKSHOP. Already taken the PT from me? I invite you to take this workshop as a refresher for half price.

If an INDIVIDUAL SESSION appeals to you more, I’m now scheduling these for hypnotherapy, The Passion Test, and breakthrough life coaching.

Not sure what’s the best choice for you? Take advantage of my FREE 20-minute telephone CONSULTATION. I offer this to those who have not yet had an individual session with me. To schedule an initial consult, please CONTACT me.

If you’re saying, hey, I want to sign up for one of these sessions, but I don’t live in the SF Bay Area. Don’t worry. You can receive a hypnotherapy, Passion Test, or breakthrough coaching session from me by telephone. Yes, even hypnotherapy can be done successfully this way--as many of my clients will attest.

Maybe I’ll see you--or hear from you--while I’m in town. Hope so.

[thenextyounow]

Back in the Beautiful SF Bay Area from May 12 - 23

Go to my EVENTS page at TheNextYou.net for details.

I’m excited about previewing in the Bay Area first my new THIRD ACT, BEST ACT Workshop. Because this is the pilot version, I’m offering it--this year only--at half-price in exchange for your feedback. I provided the “appetizer” version last spring. People liked what they “tasted,” and encouraged me to cook up the “main course.” 

And I will again be taking folks through THE PASSION TEST in an affordable small-group-workshop format. If you’re ready to up the joy and aliveness quotient in your life and come away with an exquisite and simple decision-making tool, check this out. Returnees receive a “tune-up” for half price.

I’m also now scheduling INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS for hypnotherapy, The Passion Test, and breakthrough life coaching. 

Not sure what’s the best choice for you? Take advantage of my FREE 30-min. CONSULTATION. I offer this to those who have not yet had an individual session with me.

For dates, places, and more, check out my EVENTS page and the rest of my TheNextYou.net site. 

In the SF Bay Area? I invite you to join me for these special “live and in the same room” workshops and sessions. Not in the Bay Area? Call or email me to schedule a live individual session by telephone, Skype, or Google Hangout.

[thenextyounow]

“A Death Well Lived”–Chapter 1, Excerpt #1

[From Carolyn R. Shaffer’s memoir-in-progress, “A Death Well Lived: How My Husband and I Turned Our Last Year Together into Our Best”]

“Which sofa will you want to use for his body?”

In his tailored gray suit and salt-and-pepper gray hair, Tim, could be a funeral director out of Central Casting. But he’s for real, the director of the mortuary not far from our home. My husband and I are sitting across from him at our dining table discussing our plans for a three-day, in-home wake–the old-fashioned kind with family members and friends coming to pay their respects, talk and eat, or sit in silence. The body in question here will be that of my husband, Sypko, who six months before was diagnosed with life-threatening leukemia. “If” is increasingly looking like “when,” and we are planning accordingly.

Sypko and I glance over at the two sofas facing each other across the coffee table then look back at one another.

“How about if you’re there,” I say to him, pointing to the sofa on the right. “When friends visit, they tend to gravitate to the other one, so they’ll be most comfortable sitting on that, across from you.”

Sypko nods his head. “I really like this sofa idea. It will look like I’m just taking a nap. It’s much better than laying me out on a table in the middle of the room.”

“That’s for sure.” I smile. “A long table with a white cloth draped over it—it would look like a sacrificial altar.” We all start laughing.

#

We’d been told it was a moderate kind of leukemia, known technically as chronic   leukemia, or CMML. A half year ago his oncologist gave him a 50:50 chance of recovery. However, the blood counts hadn’t been looking good lately.

We had not been looking forward to this conversation with the “mortuary guy,” as Sypko had been referring to him. Even though death wasn’t immediately imminent, talking about funeral plans would make it seem so much more real. Yet somehow in the midst of our discussion with Tim, we found ourselves enjoying the process. Despite his buttoned-down appearance, Tim entirely supported our unconventional plans. Without debate, he offered his full aid for an in-home wake. He also agreed to fulfill another big dream for Sypko—what he wanted done with his ashes.

#

“I’d like to have them scattered from a glider plane by a member of my soaring club, tossed out as close to a cumulus cloud as possible. That way they’ll be carried high into the sky and will travel over the widest possible range.”

Sypko studied meteorology when he was young and still relishes exploring the different qualities of clouds. I’d grown used to his excitement about cumulus, cirrus, and lenticular clouds and his mini-lectures about them.

Tim nods and smiles in response to Sypko’s requests.

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It’s time, I decided, to let you in on the memoir I’m writing about my husband, Sypko [pronounced “seep-ko”] Andreae. It’s about our most thrilling and poignant adventure together. The title says it all--A Death Well Lived: How My Husband and I Turned Our Last Year Together into Our Best. 

It tracks our journey through Sypko’s diagnosis with leukemia and the uncertainties, pain, and loss of his final months as well as the startling level of joy and aliveness we experienced as we brought our marriage to fulfillment. 

Ours is a love story that rewrites the ways we in our culture tend to face the unavoidable end. As you follow our journey through the stories I post, you will discover how Sypko and I reached greater levels of intimacy as a couple, became more real and whole as individuals, and turned one challenge after another into a creative adventure. 

My memoir is not intended to be a recipe book for others to follow. Each of us must chart our own course. Through these excerpts, however, I invite you to ask yourself the kinds of questions that might decrease your suffering and increase your joy as you wake up to your own mortality or as someone you love navigates their final act of life. What might you do--or how might you be--starting now, to improve your chances of living fully to the end and dying well? 

Much to Sypko’s and my surprise, as we asked--and lived--these questions, we became “accidental pioneers” in a fast-growing movement that is radically changing the way people in the United States live and die in the last stage of their life. Maybe you or people you love are also breaking new ground in living fully and dying well. Some of you also may be experiencing the frustrations, roadblocks, and heartache that come with living at a time when old, institutionalized ways of dying haven’t yet lost their grip as new ways are emerging. I’d love to hear your stories.

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Jane Fonda Has Given Us A Great Label for The Best Part of Life - The Last! 

There are five things Jane points out in this talk that make me sing: 

Our last three decades of life--our “third act”-- are a developmental stage with its own significance and tasks.

Regardless of what’s happening with our body, aging is an upward ascension toward greater wisdom, wholeness and authenticity.

Research shows that most people over 50 are less stressed, less hostile, less anxious, and tend to see commonalities more than differences.

Two-thirds of how well we do in our third act is not determined by genetics, meaning that we can do something about it.

Every time one of us goes back and redefines our self and becomes more whole, we help create a beneficial cultural shift in the world. 

If you would like to begin--or receive a boost to continue--to re-conceive yourself and your life beyond age 60, go to my EVENTS page for details about my new workshop, Make Your Third Act Your Best. I’m offering it two times in the SF East Bay at the end of this month. Also, check out my Passion Test workshop. If you’re not in the Bay Area between May 28 and 31, and you’d like coaching on making your third act your best, contact me about scheduling one or more one-to-one sessions by telephone.

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I’m Heading Back to the Big City--SF Bay Area--May 27

I just updated my EVENTS page at TheNextYou.net with the details. 

I’m launching my new Third Act Program with my new introductory workshop Make Your Life’s Third Act Your Best. I’m also facilitating another Passion Test Workshop. And scheduling one-to-one Passion Test and hypnotherapy sessions.

Take a look. If you’re going to be in the Bay Area between May 27 and June 3, please join me.