thisborderlinebitchtalksalot

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

it gets better :D

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

Update i accidentally took 70mg I had symtomps of heart failure and barely dodged a heart attack, my heart was racing like shit for the next 10 hours (180~140bpm) but i took seroquel and it seemed to help bring my heart rate down but it s still at a 100bpm

Me googling what is the lethal dose of ritalin (sn0rted) since I can't remember if I crushed 40 or 50mgs already 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

Me googling what is the lethal dose of ritalin (sn0rted) since I can't remember if I crushed 40 or 50mgs already 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

The deeper i get into my ed the more food has a hold of me and starts meaning more and more.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

Tw: body check/ healed sh scars

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

I was too honest with my therapist and now she wants to hospitalize me 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 Help.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

I will literally cry this made me so so so happy thank you for being so kind!! And also please talk to me anytime I'm always here to listen!! <3333

I just posted a poem I wrote, I have no friends I can show my poems to, pls moots tell me if you want to read more of my shit, I'm sorry if I'm triggering you and if I am please block me, your safety comes first.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

I just posted a poem I wrote, I have no friends I can show my poems to, pls moots tell me if you want to read more of my shit, I'm sorry if I'm triggering you and if I am please block me, your safety comes first.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

YOU HAVE A WAY OF CREEPING ON MY THOUGHTS WHEN I LEAST FORESEE YOUR VISITS. I WISH YOU COULD PACK UP YOUR EYEBALLS AND WRINKLY CLAWS AND LEAVE, ONCE AND FOR ALL ( MAYBE HAVE A PACK OF VULTURES KINDLY FEED ON YOUR CARRION ).

I WISH YOU COULD TAKE WITH YOU THIS PILE OF PHANTOMS HAUNTING MY SHEETS, BUT THEN WE'D BE EVEN… I CAN KEEP MY PILE.

THE CLAW SCRATCHES ON A BLEAK CANVAS ARE CHEWING ME UP, ( MOLDING ME INTO A DISFIGURED FRAME ) CEASELESSLY CLINGING TO THE SYLLABLES OF MY NAME.

THE STENCH OF ROTTEN MEAT LINGERS, STILL, IN EACH PANT. YOUR MISDEEDS DON'T COUNT, BUT EVERY BREATH I TAKE IS A CAPITAL SIN,

BECAUSE GOD IS WATCHING.

THE RAGE BOTTLED UP MY STEM AND RIBS BREAKS, SPILLS CARELESS ON THE FLOOR. SCATTERING LETTERS AT A CHILD WEANED ON POISON, SNARLING, CHOKING ON BITTER WORDS, AT THE MASQUERADE OF A 100-YEAR-OLD EIDOLON,

AT THE MASQUERADE OF A FRIEND.

I WAS BAPTIZED IN SHAME,

AND WHEN THE SKY WANTED TO COMFORT ME, SHE STOLE MY CANDLES AND GAVE ME THUNDER, SHE TOOK MY CRIB AWAY AND GAVE ME A BOX SPRING.

BECAUSE GOD WAS WATCHING, I IMMURED MY WHINGING LIMBS TO CONSECRATE THE SACRILEGE, I BUTCHERED MY OWN FLESH WHEN HE WOULDN’T LOOK MY WAY, BY DINT OF HIS SELF-INDULGENCE.

HE STANDS AMONGST CHLOROTIC LEAVES, AND CRACKS HIS CHEST OPEN LIKE A KIND MOTHER, I PLOD ON INTO HIS BELLY AND MY GRUDGE DISSOLVES INTO MY BONES. HE FEASTS ON MY INTESTINES TO GRANT ME ABSOLUTION BUT FORGETS TO CLEAN ME AFTER,

GORMANDIZED AND LEFT TO ROT. HOLDING MY MOM'S GRIEF IN ONE HAND, AND MY FATHER'S TEMPER IN THE OTHER.

( I AM SUGAR-COATED GAUNT LINES, I’M VERSES MADE OF CANDY CANES AND GORE-FLAVORED LOLLIPOPS, CROONING TWISTED LULLABIES THAT PETER OUT INTO STILLNESS )

-SOMETIMES I WONDER IF GOD IS STILL WATCHING, I TEND TO FORGET THAT HE SLEPT ON MY TEARS.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

Yesterday I point blank told my therapist that I just can't do this, I don't want to get better and I don't even want to try, I'm already feeling like shit and going through shit every single day. Might as well go through with it and see it out. I feel bad for my friends and I feel like a hypocrite around them but i don't have it in me to try anymore. I wanna be damaged, that's the only way I know how to exist and it's the way I'll die.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

Here’s to hoping that every single person with schizophrenia or a schizoaffective disorder or DID or NPD or any other ridiculously demonized mental illnesses has a wonderful day

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

I seriously need tips for hiding my ed from my parents because they are starting to notice that I don't eat much, but also I can't do purging which means I gotta stick to a strict and low count. I hate going back to my family.

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

My only hobby is playing the sims for hours on end, I feel like a loser :D

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

If a trans masc tells u it’s “that time of the month” he means this

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

[thisborderlinebitchtalksalot]

I feel like the most unlovable ugliest fattest person ever. I need to start sticking to my count instead of indulging like I always fucking do. This helplessness just makes me want to cut deeper and deeper.