trynot2breathe

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Hilda by Duane Bryers

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Okay so The Truman Show, but the baby is raised, guided to become Bruce Wayne/Batman in the real-to-him City of Gotham. A scripted reality show where every villain, every citizen of fake☆Gotham is an actor except for Bruce. Batman doesn't often kill his villains - safe for tv🤔

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GAS STATION ATTENDANT: Good morning, how are you?

ME: Oh, ya know, livin' the dream.

GSA: That's just white people speak for 'I wish I was dead.'

ME: Accurate.

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What if her last name wasn't Sandiego? What if they were just answering the question..

-Where in the world is Carmen?

•San Diego.

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TOTWAFFLE!

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When your girlfriend says "yeah, I gotta tie her up," but she's talking about a plant.

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My person posts these really beautiful photos of our dogs and sunsets and nature, and then snapchats me the empty toilet paper roll at home while I'm still at work. I guess this is love.

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Ghosting has gotten old. Let's try ghouling instead! Ya know, rattle some chains, make spooky oOoOo-ing sounds, disappear into walls, consume human flesh. Also, continue ignoring texts.

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Volcano? So discouraging. Volcanyes! Positivity is key!

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Making progress on the movie theatre/bar room.

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Have you ever wanted to be married by a non-religious lesbian disaster? Got you covered!

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Time for a pupdate.

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Snow day!

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This song is gorgeous!