type-goblin

[type-goblin]

I LIVE

[type-goblin]

Ok sitting in the backseat of a friend's car his mom is smoking a cigarette the scent of it reminds me of my mom.

Cold, cozy.

[type-goblin]

A lot has happened I turned 21 and still can't drive 🚦 beep beep

But I can drink, maybe I'll do both one night.

Practice makes perfect!

edit: very clearly joking

[type-goblin]

Thinking tonight like I'll die tomorrow, if I died in the past but my ghost could still type what would I say, something profound something stupid anything would be amazing because It would be the words of a dead man's soul why don't our words carry that much meaning when we live

[type-goblin]

Almost shed a tear over a father and son playing catch wtf man

[type-goblin]

Typing this on the bus on my way to the gym I don't have anything to talk about I just think I should post something, anything at all.

I missed the gym yesterday and are so much spaghetti

I was craving it on my way home from work all I ate yesterday was oatmeal and then I watched a video of Hayao Miyazaki eating spaghetti 🍝

And it became all I could think about so as soon as I got home I cooked some in a big pot

Now it's time to get back to work TTYL :)

[type-goblin]

Writing writing writing writing writing writing.

[type-goblin]

Spooky Night

I​ noticed I grind my teeth. It's scary I caught myself in the middle of doing it.

I​ts uncomfortable to notice. It gave me chills. I ran my tongue across my teeth, bumpy, jagged, sharp. How could I do something for so long? and not know I was doing it? I daydreamed a lot; I guess my body needed something to do while it waited for my mind to return.\

Well, now that I noticed, I can stop. Right?

[type-goblin]

After shower thoughts

​l had an interesting thought when I got out of the shower today. I looked down at these pants that I have been wearing for a while and thought, "im gonna wear these for a while," and then putting them on was comforting and warm. There, just my comfortable pants. I felt what kids who grow up addicted to a blanky must feel for at least a second.

[type-goblin]

It’s a new week, and with it, new challenges. Also I hate doing this ❤️ but if I don’t, I’m at risk of starving, for real.

Hello, my name is Miguel, I’m a disabled trans man suffering from bipolarity and hidradenitis suppurativa, and I’m currently living next to my grandma in one of the houses she rents out. It’s tiny, but it’s mine, and after the fight I had with my mother over bills in my old house, I much prefer the peace of mind I have here.

However, I do have bills to pay and grocery shopping to do. The water bill came to 300 reais and the gas is a reasonable 150. Fortunately I have medication for my bipolar still for one month and a half.

My grandma doesn’t make me pay full rent but she charges a VERY reasonable 100 reais, for the renting of the space. I am currently on my second month as an apprentice in a tattoo parlour and I’m not cleared to tattoo yet, meaning I have no income other than commissions or don*tions.

Last week was a mess and I couldn’t “fill the pantry”, as one would say. Ideally, I’d like to get groceries for two weeks so I don’t go to the supermarket every other day off I have.

For my cost of living, it is about $110~120 USD (the currency differences only grow with each month >.<) and for the supermarket, $300 would last me two, maybe even three weeks if I’m careful.

The goal is $420 (hehe nice)

Please, help, d*nate and signal boost! It’s not easy running after your dreams, even if I have to humiliate myself here, so I’m not ashamed, I’m proud that I can still reach and ask for help

Pp: astrayan0@gmail.com

Kf: astrayan

Will update as we go! Please, please help!

[type-goblin]

Burnin, Burnout

I'm writing this on the train home from work. I had to sit down with the store manager today. They had to talk to me about a pattern they saw in my schedule. I've been calling out of work too much, and they wanted to check in on me. I explained why I called out yesterday. Because I woke up sick, and threw up all the fast food, I gorged on over the weekend early on Monday.

When that happens, I have to call in and let them know that I can't come in; the problem is I've been calling out once every two weeks for five weeks. I often throw up because I hate myself and don't watch what I eat or drink.

They asked if there was anything that we could do to help accommodate me, and they suggested I see a doctor (that is a good idea). I told them I would take Monday off my schedule to work on myself and improve.

I may be experiencing burnout. This makes me ashamed because I dont deserve to feel burned out; I dont work hard enough to feel burned out, im such a fucking baby, and the hole in my soul deepens. I will try to get better.

Thank you to my boss for caring because they do care. Sorry for my incompetence.

[type-goblin]

Back from the movies.

J​ust returned from the movies; I walked up there and sat next to my gatekeeping friend's cousin (let's call my gatekeeping friend Danny for convenience) and watched the movie. I showed up a couple minutes late because I was getting snacks and had to use the bathroom.

When I sat down, I could hear Danny say, "bitch" two seats down; that made Jack chuckle. Danny was sitting next to the friend who gave me the movie's time (let's call him Jack). I sat and watched the whole film, and Danny's family didn't say a word to me directly. I heard a couple reactions to the movie itself. Had a few of my own, the kind that people have when they watch movies.

No one other than Jack knew I was coming. It was a surprise. A lousy surprise, more of a shock. Imagine you planned this one thing out a certain way for weeks, and last minute, once you sat down and the movie started, a guy you don’t know walks into the primarily empty theater and sits next to you. (I feel bad for his cousin whose name I never got) he leaned far into his seat and ate and drank very quietly. The film was good. It's only part one, so it ended on a cliffhanger, giving me major blue balls. ​ After the movie, I asked Danny, "What would you rate it," he said, "10 out of 10" I then went to the bathroom to let out a fart id had been holding in for 2 hours in that theater. After I walked out, I saw everyone other than my friends I recognized, some people I had met.

​When I overheard Danny talking to one of his cousins outside about excellent and bad Pixar movies, I walked next to Jack, listening to their conversation, "Incredibles 2 Was Bad" I loved that movie. The banter and dialog were incredible (no pun intended). It made a good film. " The Good Dinosaur was good," Danny said. "I'll give you that," his cousin replied.

We kept walking. "are you taking the bus," Jack asked me. "I think I'll walk" "ok, be safe," Text me when you get home" And there I was walking home listening to "You're as Tall as the Trees on repeat. I just got home 30 minutes ago, and it's now 12:06 AM. Have a good day.

[type-goblin]

Anyone can wear the mask.

T​oday is the first showing of Spider-man Across the Spider-verse, and my friend won't watch it with me. He says he won't watch the movie with someone who doesn't read the comics because they're "not real fans" the dumbest thing ever, mainly because you don’t have to read the comics to understand the movie.

 I watched the first one, so ill get the second it isn't rocket science my other friend told me the time they were going to go watch it, and I secretly bought tickets that same time, so I’ll be there whether he likes it or not. because I want to watch it with my friends. my spider-man gatekeeper friend has no idea.

P​. S yes, I know the official date isn't until tomorrow, but you can watch it early if you order the early viewing tickets (which I did) looking forward to this movie.

[type-goblin]

the game of life

I​‘m up. It's 12:09 AM, and I'm wired and ready to type and type and type until I collapse in bed.

No sleeping for at least another hour, so I might as well use this opportunity to type, ha ha ha so what's up? Everyone, how is your day/night going? Good, I hope. Yeah, tomorrow is another day, night, sunrise, and sunset. A Reset button on the day before.

you click NEW GAME every time you go to sleep, so, with that being said, what will you do today? You have 24 hours before the game starts over again. Every day is a loop of the day before but different, not an exact copy. With each reset, the clone mutates.

It's a battle royal with billions of people logging on every day worldwide, a constant competition. This game has been running since the beginning with no overheating or crashing.

This game is so expansive and massive that there are different societies, species, and cultures. In different leagues, one rides the train from A to B, and the other flies in a jet, but these are options we all can have because it's all a part of the same game.

It's written In the code, every human has blood, bones, muscle tissue, and A FUCKING BRAIN. The brain is the most essential thing that helps us get where we want to be. It's important to use this organ, mainly composed of water, fat, and 100 billion neurons, to act, change, grow, and be who we want to be. There are more neurons in your brain than people on the planet, and every person has one.

Think about that. Think about the power you have. Please don't waste it because this game does end. Every player logs off eventually, and it can only be played once, so enjoy your experience

don't let someone play your game for you; they have a game of their own. And play it the way only you can!

The same brain that was capable of harnessing fire is in your skull

Harness the fire in your life.

[type-goblin]

friendship

I texted my friend, asking him to give me a topic to write about. He chose friendship. This was unusual because this specific friend differs from the type to select something like friendship as a topic.

In fact, he's the type to call that "gay." s​o I was pleasantly surprised.

Anyway, Friendship is something I don't have much of I'm very closed off, very generic on purpose I have my guard up emotionally. I haven't made new friends since high school.

Sure, there are people I talk to, but none I could consider my friend other than two people. These are people I met in elementary school.

I​f someone gets too close past the police tape and keep out signs, they would see that I'm, just plain dull, not worth the time, and I don't want to bring anyone down. I'm better off alone. I'll die alone, gripping the fantasies of friends, girlfriends, wives, and kids in my mind.

That's pathetic, but I'm miserable I'm a coward I freeze in dangerous situations, a deer in headlights. I'm cursed, unlovable I can't pass this curse on. It wouldn't be right.

[type-goblin]

Train Pains.

ALORA

"What will you do when you get home?"

STEVE

"I dont know, probably do some writing."

ALORA

"wow, I didn't know you wrote. What's it for?"

STEVE

"It's so I can get better at writing, so people can hire me, so I can do freelance writing."

ALORA

"What did you write?"

STEVE

"​I wrote an article about orcas."

ALORA

"​killer whales."

STEVE

"orcas. and I did a blog post."

ALORA

"​See, that's cool. I dont do any cool stuff-"

STEVE

"​No! I'm not cool, don't let me trick you into thinking I'm cool; I just started writing recently, I'm not good. The only reason I started is because I ran into a friend from school on the bus the other day, and he graduated and joined the union. I dropped out, he graduated, and will be making 60 dollars an hour, while I work at a coffee shop. Like, what am I doing."

ALORA

"60 an hour, what the fuck"

STEVE

"yeah, he showed me some other friends I haven't kept in touch with. One is in the union with him; the other joined the army and got a full leg tattoo."

T​RAIN PULLS UP

Steve and Alora entered the train and noticed the right side of the train didn't have seats,

STEVE

"no chairs."

ALORA

"Yeah"

They stand against the wall, Steve leaning against it and grabbing a support pole. Alora facing him, holding that same pole.

ALORA

"​I have tomorrow off."

STEVE

"I know you've mentioned it."

ALORA

"​I've just been working every day. This will be my first day off."

STEVE

"​how many hours did you work last week?"

ALORA

"​43 and 41 the week before."

STEVE

"with how you've been working, you should have enough for your trip."

ALORA

"​yeah, but my friends want to go to Greece and the UK."

STEVE

"​you're going to be so otherworldly when

you get back."

ALORA

"​Did I miss my stop!"

STEVE

"​I dont think so."

ALORA

"​I do that a lot. I'll be talking to someone and forget about everything going on around me and miss my stop."

STEVE

"you didn't miss it."

ALORA

"​Are you sure"

STEVE

"​yes, im sure I ride this train all the time."

STEVE

"​so, what are your plans for the day off tomorrow."

ALORA

"​Im going to hang out with Albert after work tomorrow, yeah, so ill come back to work anyway, just for a second."

STEVE

"​really"

ALORA

"​I hang out with people, Steve!"

STEVE

"I know you do. You talk to everyone like it's no problem; you're a social butterfly." *Steve motions his hand, waving them in the air.

STEVE

"I feel like everyone hates me."

ALORA

"Like who? No one hates you."

STEVE

"I know it doesn't make sense. But I still feel that way. I dont want to get into it

right now."

ALORA

Alora leans in chit chat continues until

STEVE

"​This is your stop. I dont want you to miss it."

ALORA

"​ok, thanks"

A​lora shuffles a bit, turning left. Alora grabs her wrist, the one she's holding the pole with

STEVE

"​h-hey uh hug"

S​teve holds his arms out, and they hug.

STEVE

"​Sorry," Steve said, muttering words into her hair.

ALORA

"​it's ok," Alora responds

s​he heads for the open train doors

STEVE

"​have a good one."

S​teve had been telling customers to "have a good one" all day, out of habit, and she knew because she had been there.

N​o response.

THE END

[type-goblin]

The Shushening

I​ went down a rabbit hole of conspiracy theories on tik tok, you know, the ones with the Illuminati celebs covering one eye and shushing and aliens for about one hour, and took a nap—bad idea.

Because I had a nightmare, I was living in a shelter that was also a church. The guy that ran the church/ shelter was kicking me out. I​ asked why, and he held up some porno dvd case he had found in my room.

"What's that," I asked. The boss placed it on a shelf, and my room became the church Vestibule. Suddenly the seats filled with people covering one eye and hushing me. I stood up and said, "In the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus." Then the walls were covered in that black and white hypnotic swirl. My jaw locked, and I tried to continue talking. My words mumbled behind a jaw stiff as stone. The room started spinning, and I woke up in a cold sweat. Can someone interpret this nonsense nightmare of mine? Also, never watch conspiracy TikToks before bed.