vampirekilmerfic

[vampirekilmerfic]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i liked problematic tropes

[vampirekilmerfic]

Yall like CoD? 🫡

[vampirekilmerfic]

Void's guide to tricking getting people to read your fics on Tumblr.

Whoa, hold on! You're about to read something that may prompt you to leave an angry comment!

Before you press on, consider that I never said "void's guide to giving you a fulfilling fic writing experience" or "void's guide to magically getting you notes while you keep doing what you're doing right now" or "void's guide to copying blogs that have a lot of followers."

No, no. This is my guide to ruthlessly getting eyes on your writing, even if it means losing some creative expression and fandom tradition in the process.

We good? Okay.

Start beginning your fics and drabbles with one (1) singular sentence, all by itself in a paragraph This is the single most important line of your entire post. It should read like it's part of the fic, but it should communicate clearly and succinctly what your post is about. It doesn't need to be a post summary, it just needs to convey the message. Ex. "One thing's for sure, that's the last time you ever go drinking with John MacTavish." Ex. "John MacTavish who accidentally rips your shirt in a drunken stumble." Ex. "You never expected to wake up from a night of drinking, with your shirt ripped in half, and a snoring Scottish man in your bed." The worst thing you can do is start off your post with a long, vague, flowery paragraph.

NO CAPES! (Banners/mood boards/pictures/fancy dividers) See, I told you it wasn't going to be easy. "But all the big writers are doing that!" I know, trust me. I know. But they already have a huge following of people who will read whatever they post. You can stop reading now, or you can stay in Ruthlessville with me and hear my gospel. I've watched my own work do splendidly, and then the notes tanked as soon as I added a banner and formatting. It's a cruel, cruel world.

Stop writing a fic summary at the top of your post Yes, I know. But that's what the first sentence of your fic is for. It's an easily digestible substitute for the fic summary we all know. "But then my fanfic will just look like a drabble!" Yes. Correct. That's why people are giving it a chance and not scrolling past it.

The only formatting you need is trigger warnings If your writing is SFW then you need no formatting at all. If your writing needs lighter trigger warnings, utilize as best you can, that magical first sentence of your fic. It counts as a trigger warning, if you can work in the trigger as a piece of information, in a way that's not inherently triggering. Ex. "You never thought you'd be in a gangbang on a random Thursday night at Johnny McTavish's house." Ex. "You can't remember the last time you got to cum, thanks to that bastard Johnny MacTavish." Ex. "Johnny MacTavish who thinks it's really fun to share you with his friends on poker night, much to your surprise." For heavier trigger warnings, I think it's best to add it succinctly at the very top of your fic, and I also recommend tagging as thoroughly as possible for even lighter triggers. This due diligence, combined with a stellar first sentence, goes a long way towards building first glance trust with your readers.

Tag everything It's incredibly worth your time to tag all the fandoms, and relationships, and character nicknames, and relevant details of your post. Apart from first sentence, this is the most important rule. If you're not sure which tags to use, scroll through posts from other people and figure out which tags are common.

Have a masterlist pinned Even if you're putting out your first piece of writing ever, make a master list post and pin it. This communicates to readers that writing is something you do, and it's worth it to click the follow button. Not having a master list communicates that you don't believe in your writing, and you're hoping people don't see it.

Multi-chapter fic exceptions You kinda need to let people know that it's part of a longer fic. Once a longer fic has picked up some steam, I do think there's a benefit in making it recognizable in some way to the readers you already have, but there's always a tradeoff - the more formatting and pictures you add, the less likely that you'll get new readers on Tumblr.

Take from that what you will! For a lot of people, the joy they get from formatting and mood boards, etc, is an important part of their experience, and it's not worth giving it up. But you can always start adding those things later, once you've built the follower base that can sustain it.

Good luck out there!

[vampirekilmerfic]

starting a collection of my favourite AO3 author’s notes

honourable mentions

[vampirekilmerfic]

My favorite thing about fanfic authors is they can identify any gap in a canon timeline where characters are offscreen and exploit the ever living fuck out of it

They see a time skip of any length and go

[vampirekilmerfic]

Och, the wee shite 😂😍

Cali, there's no way this dressing room pic wasn't inspiration for Fox and Hound!Johnny, right?

https://www.tumblr.com/deathblossomm/711978818685091840/behind-the-scenes-of-call-of-duty-modern-warfare?source=share

DDTTM you're a genius! I've never seen that shot of him!! But this look on his face is EXACTLY the one in that opening scene 😁😁

[vampirekilmerfic]

I dream of a crossover moment where Vincent and Simon commiserate about having fun-sized boyfriends who steal their hoodies.

Said boyfriends would naturally be quite smug.

they're right behind us, aren't they...

[vampirekilmerfic]

the sluttiest thing a man can do is have a little bloody scrape above his eyebrow, i think 😌

[vampirekilmerfic]

katabasis; to go down

[vampirekilmerfic]

[vampirekilmerfic]

They're living my dream 😔(of not having springtime allergies)

Another sketch for @tacticallyunsoundjohnnyboy! Thank you once again for funding my obsession <3

[vampirekilmerfic]

Self-care <3

Last one for @tacticallyunsoundjohnnyboy 🫶 Thank you so much once again for trusting me with our favourite boys 🥰

[vampirekilmerfic]

Boyfriend!Ghost where you think you’re about to have sex for the first time, but when he takes you to his bedroom he just quietly shows you a bunch of different knickknacks and small rocks he’s collected during deployments for you. runs a couple of the rocks and pebbles under water so you can see their cool colors, “Thought you’d like this one. …Reddish.”

mans been working up the courage to give them to you because he didn’t want you to think it was silly or odd

hi mach 🤭🙇‍♀️

Lovely, brilliant, absolutely so cutesy and yesyesyes 😭🥺 The way I got so much cuteness aggression thinking about this. It reminds me of what my world travelling grandma does in a way, she loves shells and such, has shells from beaches all over.

I hope you like. :) Soft Boyfriend Simon Ghost Riley for you my liege:

He didn’t say much when he tugged your hand and led you upstairs. Just that low, quiet “C’mon,” and the look, something unreadable in his eyes that made your heart kick up a notch.

You thought you knew what was coming.

It felt like it. The soft step of his boots on the stairs, the way his fingers brushed yours and never quite let go, the barely-there nod toward his bedroom door before he pushed it open. You’d been building toward this for a while, slowly, carefully, like everything with Simon, and you figured… well, maybe tonight.

The bedroom’s dim, not romantic exactly, but quiet and private. The air carries that familiar mix of laundry detergent and his soap and something deeper. Him.

Your breath hitches. He closes the door.

But... He doesn’t kiss you... He doesn’t press you back onto the bed or touch your waist.

Instead, he places a kiss on your hand before he crosses to the closet and squats down.

You blink. “Simon?”

“I-” he mutters, voice rasped low, almost sheepish. “I wanna show you something.”

And then he pulls out a box.

He turns to the bed, kneeling now, that black mask that once hid most of his expression long gone, and you can see the tips of his ears are pink.

His fingers, usually so sure, so steady on a trigger, are just a little clumsy as he unwraps a small bundle of from the box.

“’s not much. Just… bits,” he mutters. “Things I picked up, y’know, when I had a minute.”

He places the next one down with care. A flattened piece of sea glass, dull until he brushes his thumb over it. He glances up like he’s checking your reaction for a second.

You nod, lips tucked in tight to hide the smile trying to creep out. Because this is Ghost. Simon fucking Riley. A man who, you know, at least, has killed people--kills people--terrifying to anyone not close enough to him, allies and does alike. A man who, just two months ago, didn’t even like you sitting too close for long. A man who, a month ago, woke up sweating from a nightmare he vehemently refused to share with you, just called you to hear your voice. Now he’s opening up a box of treasures, like a nervous boy showing his crush what he’s kept under his bed.

You. want. to. squeal.

You want to grab his face and kiss him stupid and coo over every pebble like they’re diamonds, because they are, in their own way, because they’re his, and he is sharing them with you.

Instead, you just scoot a little closer, pick up the sea glass between your fingers and hold it to the light.

“This one’s lovely,” you say softly, reverent. “Looks like it used to be red.”

“Was thinkin’ the same,” he mumbles. He clears his throat. “Looked like fire in the middle of the others, from the side of the road. Figured… you might like it.”

You nod again. You’re smiling now--can’t help it--but it’s gentle and careful.

Inside, your heart is doing cartwheels. Outside, you kneel down next to him and just lean a little into his shoulder and whisper, “Thank you.”

Simon relaxes just a bit, shoulders easing, his hand brushes yours, on purpose, maybe.

He pulls another cloth from the box. “Got some others, if ya like.”

You bite your lip to hold back your grin. You’re so gone for him...

He takes another, grabs the water bottle off his bed, pours just a drop into his hand to smooth over the rock. Those huge, calloused, rough hands working so delicately with the little pebble.

You don’t even realize you’ve been holding your breath until he lays the next one in your palm. A smooth, dark green stone with a pale stripe across the middle, like a horizon line.

“Tha' one’s from Finland,” he says after a pause. “Snow’d just melted. Nearly lost it in the mud. Had to double back.”

Your fingers curl around it, “You kept it all this time?”

Simon shifts a little, seated on the bed with you now, and he doesn’t meet your eyes. “Mm. Kept all of ‘em.”

You glance down at the small collection now spread across the blanket: shells, stones, a bent coin, a keychain with a tiny compass. None of it flashy. All of it worn and real.

Then it clicks, sinks in all the way, like warm tea through your chest.

He didn’t just pick these up.

He picked them up for you.

Your mouth opens, then closes, because you’re not sure what to say. He must see something change in your face, though, because he clears his throat and adds, a little rough, “Meant to give ‘em to you sooner. Just… didn’t know when. Or if it was weird. Or if--if you’d think I was daft.”

Your hand tightens on the green stone. “You’re not daft, Simon.”

His eyes flick to yours, watching and waiting.

You smile, soft and sure. “You’re thoughtful. And I love it.” Then, before you can stop yourself, you hold up the stone. “Would you be okay if I made this one into a necklace?”

He blinks. “You want to wear it?”

“Of course I do,” you say, like it’s obvious. “You brought it back for me. That makes it priceless.”

The tips of his ears are flushed again. You swear you see his jaw shift like he’s trying to suppress a grin.

He mutters, “Got a bit of cord in the drawer. Could show you how to tie it.”

You nod, trying very hard not to bounce on the mattress like a giddy teenager, because Simon Riley just offered to help you make jewelry out of the rock he picked up for you in the Finnish mud.

God, you’re so far gone.

And when he kneels beside the bed again, sorting through the drawer for the cord, he glances at you with the smallest smile in his voice.

“Knew you’d like that one. Told myself, if you ever stuck ‘round long enough… that’d be the first one I gave you.”

Your heart damn near bursts.

[vampirekilmerfic]

Hello, Mrs. Laswell

[vampirekilmerfic]

He's about to rain down a million smooches

Thank you so much to @tacticallyunsoundjohnnyboy for commissioning me to draw my favourite husbands 🫶

[vampirekilmerfic]

the way to the his heart is...

if you make johnny laugh, he’s in deep trouble. intentionally or not, bringing a chuckle out of that man will have him asking for his grandmothers ring. think he’s used to being the comedian of the group- almost always the one breaking tension, or carrying the conversation. and frankly, part of him can’t help it. but if you allow him, at least for the length of a joke or a retort, to be on the receiving end of laughter? he’s a goner.

traditional in nearly every sense of the word, john’s stomach and heart are essentially the same organ. cook him a meal and he’s renovating his kitchen so you’ll have more room when you move in. especially loves taking brown paper bags you make him to the office, and softening at your sticky note hearts. missed it dearly when deployed, but he’ll follow the smell of baking from across the world if it means getting to tell you “love it, darl’” over dinner one more time.

simon isn’t the first person you’d pin a comforting presence on, so imagine his surprise when you start searching for it anyway. running your nails across his neck as you slowly wake, holding his arm on a crowded train, returning from work and burying yourself in his chest. the microscopic, subconscious efforts to be as close as physically possible to him makes him melt. don’t even know you do it, but the fact your first instinct when searching for calm is to find him forces his hand and puts him on one knee.

the first time he caught you wearing one of his shirts, kyle thought he might just propose then and there (it had been 3 weeks). finds the ‘getting ready’ routine to be extremely endearing- especially if he’s involved. dressed in his sweats, peeling off the morning and swallow another day. there’s a specific vulnerability in it- allowing him to see you both at your start and your end. pulls him into the other room without resistance when you offer to fix his jacket.

special thanks to @goatgoesmbe for the help with gaz <3

[vampirekilmerfic]

not satisfied but i refuse to work on this any longer