vivicantstudy

[vivicantstudy]

The Family of My Promised Future

Somewhere in the corners of my mind, there lives a small and gentle dream: a home filled with love, with warmth, with the soft footsteps of little ones and the steady presence of someone to share it all with.

I think about this often. Not in a loud, desperate way — but like a melody that plays softly in the background of my days. It’s the life I look forward to with peaceful anticipation. A love that is kind. A family that feels safe. A home that honors God in the quiet, ordinary moments.

I already feel ready to care for something that sacred.

To make meals with love. To listen with patience. To build something slow and lasting. I’ve been learning so much, about faith, about gentleness, about choosing peace even when it’s hard. And I know all of that will matter when this dream becomes real.

I don’t know when it will come, but I know it’s coming.

And I want it not because the world says it’s time, but because my heart has been preparing — quietly, prayerfully, joyfully.

One day, I’ll look around and realize:

this is the life I prayed for.

And I’ll pour my love into it with everything I am.

[vivicantstudy]

[vivicantstudy]

Is it ADHD, or is it my phone?

A personal reflection, research, and small steps toward reclaiming focus.

Introduction — Why I’m writing this?

This is a mix of personal reflection and research I did after a long time thinking about my relationship with my phone, my attention, and my ADHD.

I went looking for information through conversations, articles, and listening to professionals, because I’m entering a phase in life where, like most people, I need my phone. But at the same time, I’m beginning to question: what’s actually happening to me?

Because while it’s not fair to immediately say “I have ADHD” when maybe the real issue is too much screen time, it’s also true that people who are diagnosed with ADHD (like me) can still suffer because of the phone.

This post is for everyone. It’s something we should all think about.

Because even if your phone helps you, you need to give yourself permission to pause. You can’t be attached to it 24/7. You need time to rest and figure out what’s going on in your brain. And if you’re going to use your phone, you need to learn how to use it in a way that feels fair, intentional, and not addictive.

Part 1 — The personal reflection: What I’ve been feeling

Lately, I’ve been struggling a lot with focus.

And not just “oh, I got distracted for a second” kind of struggle, I’m talking about those moments when your brain just freezes mid-task, and all you can do is stare blankly into the void, not knowing what you were doing, or why.

I keep wondering: is this ADHD?

Or is it my phone? Or both?

I’ve been reading about ADHD, and a lot of what I feel seems to fit. The scattered thoughts. The impulsiveness. The feeling that time is either rushing or dragging. The guilt of “wasting” a whole day without even realizing it. But then I look at my phone, the endless scrolling, the quick dopamine hits, the way apps are literally designed to keep us addicted and I can’t help but wonder if maybe I’m not broken. Maybe I’m just overstimulated.

Sometimes I’ll open my phone to check the time and end up doing five completely unrelated things before I even remember why I picked it up in the first place. Hours vanish into screens. My brain feels tired, overstretched, but also restless.

It’s like I’m always searching for something the next notification, the next video, the next distraction.

I know it’s hurting me.

It’s affecting how I study. It’s affecting my work. It’s making it harder for me to focus on things that actually matter, things I care about. I start tasks and abandon them halfway. I reread the same sentence five times and still don’t know what it said. I’m falling behind in ways that people don’t always see from the outside.

I feel ashamed sometimes. Ashamed of how dependent I’ve become on constant stimulation.

Ashamed of how I struggle with things that seem “easy” for other people.

Ashamed that I can’t always tell whether my brain is just wired differently or if I’ve simply trained it to crave distraction 24/7.

This isn’t just about attention. It’s about the emotional weight that comes with feeling like you’re constantly underperforming. Like you’re never quite “on top of things.”

It’s exhausting.

Phones aren’t inherently evil, and ADHD isn’t some excuse.

But when you mix a neurodivergent brain with a device that’s designed to hijack your attention… things get complicated. You don’t always know what’s real and what’s induced. What’s you and what’s your screen.

I guess I’m writing this because I need to let it out. I need to say: I’m struggling.

And I know I’m not the only one.

I want to get better at protecting my focus, not because productivity is everything, but because I miss my own mind. I miss being able to sit with a thought and follow it all the way through. I miss silence. I miss being fully present.

So whether this is ADHD or just the side effect of living in a world that profits off distraction… I don’t know.

But I’m trying to figure it out. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, to observe what helps and what hurts. I’m trying to reclaim my attention — piece by piece — and come back to myself.

Part 2 — What I found when I started researching

After noticing how much my attention was slipping, I started researching, not just random posts, but actual articles, studies, and things written by professionals. I wanted to understand: is my phone really making my ADHD worse? Or am I just blaming the obvious thing?

What I found was… validating. But also a little alarming.

According to the CHADD organization (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), people with ADHD are more vulnerable to screen addiction. It’s not just about liking our phones — it’s that our brains are literally wired to seek stimulation, novelty, and quick dopamine hits. And smartphones give us that on demand, non-stop.

The National Institute of Mental Health also talks about how ADHD brains have less dopamine activity, especially in areas responsible for motivation and focus. So when we scroll, or switch apps constantly, we’re actually feeding that craving — even if it makes things worse long term.

One article I read on Psychology Today said that excessive screen time doesn’t cause ADHD, but it can intensify symptoms like inattention, impulsivity, and emotional dysregulation. It’s like pouring fuel on an already flickering fire.

There was also a study published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) that followed teens with high screen use, and those with ADHD symptoms saw those symptoms worsen over time compared to those with limited screen exposure.

I have ADHD, I’ve been diagnosed since I was 14. But I’ve also been unknowingly feeding a cycle. The more distracted I feel, the more I reach for my phone. The more I use it, the more overstimulated I get. And then it’s even harder to focus, and I feel worse.

It’s not about willpower. It’s a loop.

Something else that stood out to me was how this constant stimulation affects executive function, which is already a struggle for people with ADHD. When you’re always switching tasks, or checking your phone in the middle of everything, your brain doesn’t get the chance to fully engage in anything. That’s why things feel half-done. That’s why you read a paragraph and retain nothing. That’s why even fun things can feel like chores.

So yes — the answer is: it’s both.

It’s ADHD and the phone. And the phone can definitely make ADHD worse.

But I also found hope in this research.

Because if I know that, then I can start doing something about it. Even small things. Like turning off notifications. Giving myself “phone breaks.” Using tools that actually help my ADHD instead of feeding it (like timers, noise blockers, or focused playlists).

I’m not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for awareness.

And this research reminded me that my brain isn’t broken, it’s just wired differently. And it needs a different kind of care.

So if you’re reading this and relating: maybe go gently on yourself. This stuff is real. It’s chemical, emotional, behavioral, all at once. You’re not weak for struggling with it.

You’re just living in a world that constantly overstimulates us, with a brain that already does that on its own.

And you deserve peace in your mind, too.

Part 3 — Practical steps I’m starting to try

Here are some small, realistic steps I’m beginning to take, not as strict rules, but as experiments. If you relate to any of this, maybe one or two of these could help you too:

1. Phone-free mornings

I try to spend the first hour of my day without looking at my phone. It’s helped me feel calmer and more centered.

2. “Do Not Disturb” mode during tasks

When I need to study or write, I silence my phone or leave it in another room.

3. Time limits on distracting apps

I’ve set daily time limits for apps like Instagram and TikTok, and I try to respect them, even if they feel small at first.

4. Daily screen-free breaks

Whether it’s a walk, stretching, or just sitting outside, I give myself time away from screens every day.

5. Noticing why I’m reaching for my phone

Sometimes I write down how I’m feeling when I catch myself reaching for it. Am I bored? Anxious? Tired? That small act of noticing helps me feel more in control.

This might sound simple — even silly — but be honest with yourself: can you actually do it?

Pause and really think about how much time you spend on your phone, how often it’s in your hand, how quickly you reach for it without even noticing.

These may seem like small, harmless habits. But when you try to break them — even just a little — you start to realize just how deeply attached you’ve become.

What sounds easy in theory suddenly feels uncomfortable in practice.

And that says a lot.

Final words

If you’re feeling like your attention is disappearing, or like your brain isn’t working the way it used to, I see you.

Whether it’s ADHD, screen addiction, or a mix of both, it doesn’t make you broken. It makes you human in a very complicated, noisy world.

Be kind with yourself. Start small. And trust that your focus, your creativity, and your inner calm can come back.

One step at a time.

[vivicantstudy]

💭

[vivicantstudy]

Hey, I’m just reaching out to people on Tumblr. You’ve probably heard of Jesus and God, but have you ever reached out to Jesus for problems in your life? Big or small. Not to make you uncomfortable, but did you know sin (in your life and other people’s lives) can really hurt you, it make feel like there is a void that is never satisfied. That void could be called a “God sized hole.” Sin sucks and not just in a cookie cutter way, but in a way that it feels like there is a decay within a person. That can be a lot to take in, but I hope it is good food for thought. I hope you’re having an awesome day!! 💕

Hey, thank you for your message 💛

That whole “God-sized hole” thing really hit, it’s something I’ve been thinking about too, in quiet ways. Sometimes the heart just knows it’s looking for something deeper, even when everything on the outside seems fine.I’ve found some peace in the stillness lately, in small prayers and in the kind of love that doesn’t shout to be seen. It’s hard to explain, but I think you’d understand. 🤍 there’s this little blog @vivicantstudy ! It’s mostly about study tips and cozy focus vibes, but every now and then it touches on faith in a really gentle, thoughtful way. It just feels warm.

Hope your day’s been kind to you 🫧🤍

[vivicantstudy]

[vivicantstudy]

The Hidden Meaning Behind Everyday Words

In Chinese culture, love often speaks softly, hidden between the most ordinary words. Instead of saying “I love you” openly, people prefer to show affection through small details, daily check-ins, and simple routines. It’s a language of care, where love is something you feel, not something you always say.

There’s a beautiful handwritten note that captures this perfectly. It begins with the sentence: “Love is something you can feel.” What follows seems, at first, like a list of random updates: “I’ve taken a shower. I’ve finished eating. I’m home. I’ve finished class. I’m not very happy today. I’ll be back tomorrow. I miss you so much.”

At first glance, these phrases may seem trivial or disconnected. But the real meaning lies underneath. Each small update carries a silent message: “I’m thinking of you.” “I want you to know how my day is going.” “You’re important enough for me to share these little moments with you.”

The note ends with the most tender realization: “It feels like the hidden meaning behind every sentence is: I like you.”

This kind of indirect love language is very common in Chinese communication, especially among young people. It reflects a cultural preference for subtlety and emotional softness. Rather than overwhelming someone with grand declarations, love is expressed through presence, attention, and the quiet sharing of daily life.

In the end, it’s a reminder that sometimes love doesn’t need big words. It lives in the small things we choose to share.

[vivicantstudy]

[vivicantstudy]

12 Gentle Steps to Share Your Christian Faith with a Non-Believing Friend

1. Live Your Faith Authentically

Let your life quietly reflect Christ’s love, grace, and hope. The way you treat others may speak more clearly than any words you say.

2. Build a True and Caring Friendship

Love them for who they are—not as a project, but as a person made in God’s image. A sincere friendship builds trust and opens hearts.

3. Listen with Empathy and Respect

Be genuinely curious about their story. Let them share their beliefs and doubts without fear of judgment. Listening is a form of love.

4. Pray for Them, Silently and Faithfully

Bring them before God in private prayer. Ask for guidance, gentleness, and the Spirit’s work in their heart—always in God’s time, not yours.

5. Begin with a Universal Language of Faith

Sometimes it helps to start with broader spiritual language—offering prayers that speak of peace, healing, or gratitude without invoking religious terms too soon. This can lower barriers and show that God is already near.

→ Faith is an intimate lens through which you see the world, not everyone will share it—and that’s okay. Respecting that boundary is part of loving well.

→ You might say: “I don’t know if this would be meaningful to you, but sometimes I say a short prayer for peace—would that be alright?”

Click here to see a universal prayer I created for different situations, this prayer does not carry any religion, just good intentions! It may help your friend feel more comfortable!

6. Share Your Own Story

Instead of trying to convince them, let them see the transformation in your life. Share how Jesus brings you peace, meaning, and joy.

7. Ask Thoughtful Questions

A kind, honest question can stir the soul and open space for reflection. You might ask: “Have you ever felt a longing for something more?” or “What gives your life meaning?”

But go slowly. Don’t rush into quoting Scripture or trying to steer the conversation into theological ground too quickly—especially if your friend has had painful experiences with religion. In those cases, what they need first is not doctrine, but compassion, safety, and a human connection.

→ The gospel is not a script; it’s a relationship. Be a safe person, not a persuasive one.

8. Extend Gentle Invitations

You can invite them to a service, a conversation, a book, or a Bible passage—but always in freedom, not pressure. Let them know that your friendship is not conditional.

9. Walk Through Doubts Together

If they have questions about suffering, faith, or contradictions, don’t rush to give perfect answers. Sometimes, the most powerful witness is saying, “I’ve wondered that too. Let’s explore it together.”

10. Share Beauty That Points to God

Whether it’s through nature, music, art, or acts of kindness, show how the beauty in life can awaken spiritual longing. Sometimes the soul is moved before the mind is convinced.

→ “The heavens declare the glory of God” (Psalm 19:1).

11. Encourage Small Steps of Openness

If they’re willing, suggest simple things: reading a Psalm, saying a short prayer, or just sitting in silence. These tiny openings can be sacred doors to grace.

But be attentive: faith is deeply personal, and not everyone will feel comfortable. Avoid offering spiritual reflections when someone is visibly angry, grieving, or feeling emotionally raw. In those moments, presence and listening may be more powerful than words.

12. Be Patient, Present, and Trust God with the Journey

Transformation often takes time. Keep walking beside them with love, even if they wrestle with doubts or take steps slowly. Only God changes hearts. You are called to love.

💛 Our calling is not to win arguments, but to reflect the heart of Jesus—a heart full of truth, tenderness, and grace. When love leads, God moves.

[vivicantstudy]

Keeping Your Faith Strong When Christians Disappoint

When navigating the Christian faith, it’s completely natural—even expected—to sometimes feel irritated or disappointed with your own community, especially when a prominent Christian acts rudely or fails to reflect the love and humility we expect. No one is perfect; the church is made up of imperfect people, including leaders. Remember, the church is not a museum of saints but a hospital for sinners (1 Corinthians 12:27; James 5:16), and all of us are in a process of sanctification (Philippians 1:6). While this doesn’t excuse rudeness, it helps us keep perspective: the failure of any individual, no matter how famous, does not nullify the truth of Christ or the gospel of love, forgiveness, and grace.

It’s important to distinguish human failure from Christian doctrine. Dwelling on others’ mistakes can divert your gaze from the true focus of your faith—Jesus Christ, the perfect model of love, humility, and service (1 Peter 2:21; John 13:34-35). The deeper you immerse yourself in His teachings and example, the less shaken you will be by the behavior of others. Instead of letting anger consume you, pray for the person who hurt or disappointed you (Matthew 5:44). Ask God to work in their heart as He works in yours, and pray for yourself, asking for discernment, patience, and a forgiving heart (Colossians 3:12-13).

If you’re new to the faith or feeling shaken by such situations, certain spiritual practices are especially helpful. Prioritize studying God’s Word, especially the Gospels—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—to truly know Jesus and align your expectations with His character, not people’s (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Books like Ephesians and Philippians offer mature insights about church unity and Christian conduct (Ephesians 4:1-3; Philippians 2:1-4). Develop a consistent prayer life, seeking God’s guidance to see situations through His eyes, asking for personal growth in patience, love, and forgiveness, and praying for your community and its leaders.

Seek discipleship and mentorship from mature believers who can offer wisdom and share how they have overcome similar disappointments (Proverbs 27:17). Join small groups where authentic relationships and mutual support flourish; these can soften the blow of public failures and help you grow in community. Regularly self-reflect on how you react to others’ failings, ensuring your expectations are realistic and your judgment fair (Galatians 6:4-5).

Finally, remember forgiveness is central to Christian life. Forgiving does not mean condoning wrong behavior; it means releasing yourself from bitterness and obeying Christ’s command, which leads to your own healing (Matthew 6:14-15; Ephesians 4:31-32).

Frustrations will arise, but they are also opportunities to deepen your understanding of the gospel and grow in grace and maturity. Jesus Himself faced betrayal and denial from His closest followers and loved them nonetheless (Luke 22:54-62; John 13:1-17). Stay rooted in Him—He never fails, even when we or others do.

[vivicantstudy]

This is a gentle prayer for anyone going through difficult times. It carries no specific religion, only the intention of offering strength, healing, and comfort. May these words be a shelter, a small light in heavy moments, and a reminder that you are not walking this path alone.

A Whisper of Strength, Healing and Light

I whisper this into the winds, for you.

May the light that holds this world hold you now.

May peace wrap around you like a gentle embrace.

May strength rise quietly within your bones — like wildflowers breaking through cold earth,

like rivers flowing steady and sure,

like the morning sun casting away the dark.

When the weight feels too heavy, may you remember:

you are not alone.

There are hearts holding you from afar — quietly, tenderly.

May you be surrounded by unseen hands of care,

by quiet love that exists beyond what eyes can see.

May healing flow into every corner of your being — body, mind, and spirit.

Softly. Patiently. Fully.

May it touch every shadow within you,

turning even the darkest spaces gently into light.

When the nights feel long and the days feel heavy,

may comfort find you.

May hope return to your heart like the dawn returns to the sky.

And may life surprise you with small moments of calm, of sweetness,

of reasons to believe again.

May every breath bring peace to your body.

May every step lead you closer to light, to ease, and to rest.

You are stronger than you feel, braver than you know,

and endlessly worthy of healing, of love, and of gentleness.

These are not empty words, but threads of care —

woven from my hands, my voice, and my heart.

May you feel it. May you carry it.

You are not walking this path alone.

This is my prayer for you.

With all my heart.

Amen.

Whether you believe in a higher power, in the universe, in life itself, or simply in the strength within you, this prayer is meant to hold you, to comfort you, and to remind you that you are deeply worthy of love, healing, and peace.

[vivicantstudy]

[vivicantstudy]

Obs: The quote “Of all the ways to lose a person, death is the kindest” is often attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson, a 19th-century American philosopher and writer. It appears on a number of quote sites, including Goodreads, AZQuotes, and OneQuote . However, there is no clear evidence that Emerson wrote or said these exact words. It is possible that the quote is a paraphrase or a modern interpretation of his thoughts on loss and death.  

Emerson addressed themes related to death and loss in his works, such as in his essay “Self-Reliance,” where he discusses the importance of self-reliance and accepting death as a natural part of life. While he did not write this specific quote, it reflects his philosophical style of thinking and his views on life and death.

Of All the Ways to Lose a Person, Death Is the Kindest

Death is honest.

It does not revoke what it once gave.

It does not look at you and decide you are now disposable.

The dead leave because existence demands it.

The living leave because they choose to.

To be left by someone still breathing is to confront a cruel paradox:

their absence confirms your irrelevance,

their presence elsewhere becomes proof of your replaceability.

As Khalil Gibran wrote,

“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?”

Death is cruel in nature, but innocent in intent.

It does not shame you.

It does not ask what you could have done differently.

It simply ends.

Of all the ways to lose a person,

death is the kindest —

because it leaves no question of whether you were ever enough.

reflective text made by me based on the famous phrase “Of all the ways to lose a person, death is the kindest” by an unknown artist

[vivicantstudy]

Of All the Ways to Lose a Person, Death Is the Kindest

Death is honest.

It does not revoke what it once gave.

It does not look at you and decide you are now disposable.

The dead leave because existence demands it.

The living leave because they choose to.

To be left by someone still breathing is to confront a cruel paradox:

their absence confirms your irrelevance,

their presence elsewhere becomes proof of your replaceability.

As Khalil Gibran wrote,

“For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?”

Death is cruel in nature, but innocent in intent.

It does not shame you.

It does not ask what you could have done differently.

It simply ends.

Of all the ways to lose a person,

death is the kindest —

because it leaves no question of whether you were ever enough.

reflective text made by me based on the famous phrase “Of all the ways to lose a person, death is the kindest” by an unknown artist

[vivicantstudy]

Eduardo Tojetti (American, 1851–1930), Three Cherub Musicians.

[vivicantstudy]