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me waiting for my favourite authors to finish publishing their fanfics knowing I haven’t been updated my own fanfics for ages:

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may not love the new stuff but marvel KNOWS how to fuckin cast

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Golden trio era masterlist

Mattheo Riddle

Obsessed

Rumours that you are hooking up with Mattheo Riddle are all over the Hogwarts Gossip. You’ve transferred at hogwarts not even a month ago and you’re- wait are you even supposed to know who he his ? The whole thing is ridiculous. And you’re pissed.

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Obsessed | Mattheo Riddle

summary: Rumours that you are hooking up with Mattheo Riddle are all over the Hogwarts Gossip. You’ve transferred at hogwarts not even a month ago and you’re- wait are you even supposed to know who he his ? The whole thing is ridiculous. And you’re pissed.

pairing: MattheoRiddle x fem!ravenclaw!reader

cw: angst, fluff, cursing, mention of drinking, slight mamma mia reference (iykyk)

4k words

inspo: obsessed by mariah carey

"No way he really did all that ?" Your 15 year old daughter gasped at your revelation.

"Yeah!" you laughed, shaking your head. "Then he started throwing out all these shitty excuses men come up with when they’re desperate."

She blinked, leaning in. "I bet he was."

You smirked.

"Oh he truly was, so I just stared at him and I was like ‘why are you so obsessed with me?’"

20 years ago.

The Hogwarts Whisper

Okay, guys, grab your wands because this tea is spilling. Our sources have definitely spotted Mattheo Riddle, yes THE Mattheo Riddle, son of Voldemort and the absolute hottest guy at Hogwarts (Professor McGonagall, we know you’re not exactly a fan, but we see you), with none other than the new girl in the three broomsticks. Is this the start of a new Hogwarts couple? We’re not saying they’re a thing... but it’s looking suspiciously like it.

But wait, things are getting spicy ! Another source of ours claims she saw them in the restricted section of the library, right next to the Dark Arts aisle, sharing a kiss that was so passionate, even Ron Weasley would have dropped his Chocolate Frog. Now, we have to ask, is Riddle trying to tip her over to the Dark Side? He didn’t exactly confirm or deny it, but what we do know is that he definitely tipped her over to his bed… No, we don’t mean in a metaphorical sense–

Your heart dropped.

What the fuck ?

You turned to your new friend, Luna Lovegood, who sat next to you in the Ravenclaw table. The paper was still in your hand and you gestured to it.

"I’m going to have a panic attack Luna. What is that ?"

It was supposed to be a quiet morning.

You had just sat down at breakfast, half-asleep, your toast untouched, when the shriek came from the other end of the Ravenclaw table.

"Oh. My. God. You’re on the cover."

You blinked. "Huh?"

Before you could even react, a copy of The Hogwarts Whisper was slammed onto the table in front of you. The glossy, overly dramatic headline screamed back at you:

“Mattheo Riddle Caught Locking Lips With Mysterious New Girl in Restricted Section.”

Your face went up in flames. It couldn’t be you right ? But your name was clearly mentioned in the paper.

"No. This is insane. I didn’t—I’ve never—"

But no one was listening. Everyone had turned to look at you. Eyes widened.

Whispers buzzed across the hall louder than enchanted howlers. You could see girls glaring, a few Ravenclaws snickering, and somewhere down the table, someone gasped. Dramatically.

"Merlin’s beard," you muttered, flipping the page. It got worse.

One source claims they heard moaning next to the Dark Arts aisle. Another says she’s been under a Love Potion. Which, let’s be honest, is very on-brand for someone who wears last season’s robes.

You slammed the magazine shut and turned to your friends. "Who wrote this? Who let this get published?"

Cho mumbled, "It’s anonymous. Probably that nosy third year Hufflepuff-"

"I wasn’t in the library yesterday ! I wasn’t even near the restricted section! I was in the common room, writing a stupid essay on wand theory!"

Your voice cracked, slightly hysterical now. Your hands came to rest on top of your eyes. You breathing was shallow as you tried to keep your calm, trying to think about what could’ve gone wrong.

You’ve transferred from Ilvermony a month ago. Hogwarts was supposed to be a new start for you after what happened there. You were bullied, relentlessly. Whispers behind your back that turned into cruel jokes in the hallways. Spells cast when professors weren’t looking. Your wand yanked from your hand mid-duel, your belongings hexed to humiliate you, your name always twisted into something meaner.

No one ever really stepped in. Not the teachers, not your so called friends. By the end, you stopped trying to defend yourself. You stopped speaking in class. You stopped looking people in the eye.

So when your parents offered the transfer to Hogwarts, you didn’t hesitate.

"Well actually, it could be Riddle." Luna interrupted your thoughts. You stared at her in question and she continued. "It says here that he confirmed that you guys slept together. It’s quite explicit."

"How could he do this ?" You wondered out loud. "Why would he say things like that ?"

"Tell that to them." Cho hummed towards the Slytherin table where a group–including Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Malfoy and Lorenzo Berkshire– was sat. They were also checking the journal, although they seemed amused by what was written. Obviously they would be.

Riddle was part of their friend group. It made them laugh to hear about another one of his conquest being publicly outed. You looked back at the journal. The guy even had the nerve to give a personal interview. You felt outraged.

When Mattheo Riddle arrived in the Great Hall, he was oblivious to the commotion happening. He sat next to his friends, thinking about his next potion class.

"Long night ?" Theodore questioned, a smirk on his face. He just rolled his eyes in response.

"Bugger off." He grabbed a spoonful of scrambled eggs and poured himself a glass of pumpkin juice. Something felt weird. When he raised his head, he saw all his friends staring at him expectantly, a big smile on their face. "Okay are you gonna tell what’s happening now ?" He dropped his spoon on the table, folding his arms against his chest.

"Aren’t you gonna read the news ?" Pansy smirked handing his a piece of journal. He stared at it confused, dread forming in his chest. What did his father do again ? At this point he was expecting a handful of things.

But what he truly was not expecting, it was to see his name on the paper. He read the headline once, twice. He frowned.

His eyes scanned the paper, widening each time he read the most blatant bullshit ever written on a paper. He quickly slammed it on the table, eyes wide open in horror as if traumatised.

"What was that ?" He looked around at his friends, who seemed to have witnessed the best entertainment of this year so far. "I’ve never seen this much bullshit written about me and trust me, I’ve read a lot of shit by the Rita Skeatcher."

"Come on, don’t act oblivious. You wrote this."

"I did not." He felt offended that people, let alone his friends would think he would engage in something as irrelevant as gossiping. Mattheo did not have the time for this. People already knew he could pull, why brag about it through a paper ? "This is an obvious piss-take. I would never say this." He gestured to the paper.

"Good point." Blaise nodded.

His thoughts seemed to clear a bit and that’s when he realised. His head snapped up, and he looked around scanning the Hall, looking for you. You were sat with your friends, furious he noticed. Obviously you would be.

When you felt eyes on you, you automatically turned your head toward his table, locking eyes. Your frown immediately deepened and you flipped him off, with both your hands. Childish, he pointed out.

You then stood up, aggressively and walked out of the Hall. Draco, who was the only one who noticed this interaction snorted on his food. Yes, Draco Malfoy snorting.

"Good job cousin."

Mattheo rolled his eyes. Standing up walking towards the entrance. After having done four strides, he immediately turned, walking back to his friends.

"Please find who wrote this and delete that shit." And without waiting for an answer he turned back, speeding to catch up with you.

"Hum… who’s gonna break it to him?" Pansy muttered.

"It was your idea. You assume the consequences." Blaise huffed.

"What ?" Lorenzo, Draco and Theodore stared at the two of them, confused.

"Pansy had this great idea to ruin Mattheo’s reputation after he pranked her. You know when he turned her hair yellow neon."

"You actually helped me write this, you hypocrite !" Pansy defended herself. Blaise simply shrugged at that.

"I don’t think it’s even possible to ruin his reputation at this point there is nothing to ruin." Enzo deadpanned.

"Hey I was desperate. We each have our own reasons to hold a grudge against Riddle…" Pansy muttered. "But I didn’t think he would get this." She paused, searching for the correct word. "Agitated ?"

"Well about that…"

You were strolling to your dorm. You needed to get your books before the first period started, that is if you even considered going. Your feet met the concrete floor with a loud thud, each step a confirmation of how furious you were.

You heard from behind quick paces. You curiously turned your head and to your own displeasure you saw the person you last wanted to talk to. Mattheo Riddle, with his hair all disheveled was trying to catch up with you. And he definitely seemed out of breath. Probably his smoking, you thought.

You rolled your eyes quickening your pace.

"Hey please." You heard him call out. Still you ignored him. You were nearly running now, running away from him as he chased you. The situation was dramatic, a bit comical from an external point of vue. But you really wanted to get away from him. You were nearly there. You could see the Ravenclaw’s common room’s door right in front of you.

It’s when you felt his hand on your shoulder that you suddenly flinched and stopped right on your track.

"Don’t touch me you dirty ass rag." He looked taken aback by your sudden outburst.

"I-"

"No you don’t get to fucking talk. You fucking humiliated me. And for what ? A good laugh ? Why would you sqy shit like and lie about us having sex ?"

"I never said this. Please just listen to me-" He nearly begged but you cut him off.

You did not care about him. You definitely did not sign up for this bullshit when you arrived. Having to deal with a guy was one of the last things you wanted to do.

"No I won’t. I know how men like you are. Pathetic. I’ll leave you to your miserable life. Continue bragging about getting me in your bed, it’ll make you look obsessed if it didn’t already."

You walk towards the door of your common room, thankful for the suspiciously great timing of the first year opening door at this right moment. You definitely didn’t feel like solving a riddle while trying to get away from Mattheo Riddle (pun not intended). The student awkwardly smiled at you, not meeting your gaze and you guessed that he probably heard your conversation.

Oh well. Something new to gossip about.

"I’ll fix this !" You heard his muffled voice, after closing the common room door.

Asshole.

Once you were settled on your bed, you decided that skipping your morning classes wouldn’t be that bad of an idea. You had advanced potions and you were prepared enough for your NEWT’s that skipping that one class wouldn’t hurt. You glanced at the paper on top of your roommate’s night table, The Hogwarts Whisper. On the front page, a very realistic picture of Mattheo Riddle kissing someone (that looked very similar to you) against a bookshelf. You did not take the time to properly look at it this morning, but watching it more carefully you realise that it’s not even you on the moving picture .

You crumble the piece of paper between your hands before igniting it with your wand. This was humiliating. You would never admit it but you truly fell for his charms. Back on the first day.

"Hi." You walked reluctantly towards the boy sitting alone in the Hallway. You were lost. Again. It was the third time and it was only the first hour of your first day at Hogwarts. The boy raised his head, his cigarette not moving from his mouth and he just waited for you to continue talking. "Do you know where the potions classroom is ? It’s my next class and I don’t really know my way around here. I would have tried looking for it myself but I’m a bit late. And well I have this map but it’s hard to–"

"It’s just here." He cut you off pointing to the door behind you.

"Oh." You mumbled embarrassed, looking at the ground. You felt your face flushing. "Mmh…Thank you, I guess ?"

You quickly turned around knocking once on the door. Without waiting for an answer you opened the door, too embarrassed to be one more second around the boy. You apologised to the professor and found a place in the back of the room.

As if the universe was against you, the classroom door opened to reveal the same boy who had been sitting smoking just a few minutes ago.

"I’m sorry Professor Slughorn. I woke up a bit late."

"Come come, m’boy." The professor waved him off, returning to his lecture.

Misfortunately for you, the boy obviously sat next to you. Out of all the empty places around you. You turned to him and saw that he didn’t even pay you attention.

"You did not."

"Excuse me ?"

"Wake up late– I mean that’s not the reason why you’re late."

"Wow you truly are clever." He answered sarcasm dripping from his voice. "I bet you’re in Ravenclaw right ?" He smirked.

"You see my tie colour." You deadpanned.

"I’m colour blind."

"No you’re not."

"How would you know. Do you know me ?" He asked challenging you.

"No, but colour blinding is a condition that affects only 4.5 per cent of the population, population that is, may I add, muggle. It does not affect wizards whatsoever."

"So Ravenclaw ?" His smirk was still present or his face, although it softened a little bit.

"What’s your name ?"

"Mattheo."

"Mattheo what ?" He frowned at that. Did you really not know who he was ?

"Riddle ?" He said but it sounded more like a question.

"No, no riddle just tell me."

"It’s Mattheo Riddle." He huffed exasperatedly.

"Oh okay, sorry."

After this, he volunteered to show you around the castle. You both hit it off pretty well. He spent three hours explaining every thing you needed to know to be able to guide your way around. He made a few jokes here and there making you laugh, and you always wittily retorted back which, as hard as he tried to conceal it, made him laugh too. Eventually, you both started talking about your personal life, sharing deep thoughts you’ve each never told anyone before. You’ve known each other for just a few hours really but it felt like you could both trust each other. It had been just a few days. But in the span of them you felt like he was your first friend, and somehow you were also the first person he truly appreciated.

Until that stupid paper.

"You should come to the party." Cho cut your thoughts.

You didn’t bother going for lunch nor for dinner. Your roommates have been kind enough to bring you something to eat, just a piece of bread with cheese and two blueberry tarts. This small gesture warmed your hearts and you thanked them although you weren’t very hungry.

They were now dressing up for the Hufflepuff quidditch victory party against Gryffindor. You were told Hufflepuff threw the best parties and although you wanted to figure it out for yourself, you did not feel like showing up your face ever again.

"Arghh… No I’m never setting feet out of this room." You retorted, your face deep in your pillow.

"This will be so much fun, you have to come please." Padma, another one of your roommates, tried convincing you.

You smiled apologetically at them. You truly appreciated how they wanted you to feel included but you genuinely didn’t want to party. They understood and after a few minutes they left the room leaving you alone. Or that’s what you thought.

"Your head is surrounded by nargles." You flinched at the sound of her voice. She took off the originally shaped glasses she was wearing, and stared at you. "Is something bothering you ?"

"I mean other than what happened this morning…"

"Oh yes right." She muttered. After a few minutes of silence she broke it. "You should go. To the party. You shouldn’t let Riddle hold this much power over you."

"I know but…" You had no explanation.

"In other circumstances would you have gone ?" She asked. You thought for a few seconds then you simply nodded your head. "Then you should go. Don’t let Riddle have that much power over you." You nodded thinking about it. She was right you shouldn’t let him affect you this much.

"Luna, I don’t know anyone."

"It’s okay I’ll come with you."

"You would ?"

"Yes I mean I don’t like parties but I guess if this could help you, why not ?" You warmly smiled at her.

Then you both started getting dressed. You wore a simple black laced top with a short black skirt and black boots. Luna suggested you wore a dark red lipstick, and you were against it until she reassured you it would really compliment your facial features. She herself wore a lighter version of your outfit, a long white skirt with a white top and light pink ballerinas. It complimented her fair skin and light hair.

The Hufflepuff common room was buzzing with music, you heard the sound of it even before entering the common room. Once you were inside, it was the smell of booze that entered you nostrils, making you shudder a little bit. You turned towards the makeshift bar in the end of the room.

"I’m getting myself a drink." You turned to Luna and she nodded, although she followed there.

You wouldn’t admit it but you lost count of the number of Firewhisky shots you drank after the second one. You weren’t used to drinking, a simple drop of it was enough to make you tipsy. But now you were absolutely wasted. Cho and Padma joined you when they saw you did in fact make it to the party. And quickly enough, you started swaying to the music amongst the crowd of students.

You were the first person Mattheo Riddle noticed when he entered the common room. It was hard not too. When you were in the middle of the dance floor, the sound of your laugh distinctive amongst the chatter, as you were swaying with the Hufflepuff’s quidditch team’s captain behind you. You looked beautiful that’s also one of the first thing he noticed but he couldn’t help feeling bitter about the position you were in with that other boy.

"Hey mate, we’re going–"

"Don’t fucking talk to me." He cut Blaise off.

His friends eventually told him they were the ones behind the article. And well…let’s say that Pansy couldn’t make it to the party because she unexpectedly grew a snake tongue in her mouth. Blaise was still there, although his hair was not.

They didn’t mean any harm. For them it was just a simple joke. But Mattheo seemed to have taken it that badly that he also refused to speak to any of them (and he probably will for at least a month even if you talk to him again). And that meant even his brother and cousin.

He headed towards the middle of the dance floor right towards you. He physically couldn’t bear watching you dancing this close to another man. It was also his chance to explain himself.

"Please can we talk ?" He said once he was close enough to you.

You turned your head and your joyful expression started to turn grim at the sight of him.

"You’re delusional if you think we have anything to talk about." You went back to dancing against the guy you were with. His hands going suspiciously lower and that was the last straw for him. How dare he touch you like this ? Let alone while he was clearly talking to you.

He ripped his hands off your body, nearly breaking them as you gasped. The guy cursed him loudly, but Mattheo didn’t care as he grabbed your hand. With a flick of his hand, the guys mouth was zipped shut. Satisfied, he guided you towards the exit of the common room, although you tried fighting back but your drunken body couldn’t do much against him. Once you were both in a quiet corner, he decided to let go of your hand.

"What is wrong with you ?" You frowned trying to stabilise your body. You were feeling extremely dizzy and Mattheo noticed, putting a hand on your hip so you wouldn’t fall.

"I hope you’ll listen to me now." he said, though his voice was softer than you'd expected.

You nodded slowly, barely holding yourself together. You really shouldn’t have drunk this much.

"Tell me." You mumbled trying to compose your thoughts. "Why are you so obsessed with me ?" It was meant to come off as biting. Dismissive.
But Mattheo didn’t take it that way. He didn’t even flinch.

He sighed.

"Because you’re the first person that doesn’t make me feel like I’m completely fucked."

You flinched at his honesty, blinking hard as your slow brain tried to catch up with the weight of his words. But he kept going.

"And I can’t fucking help thinking about you."
His voice was strained now. Like it hurt to speak.
"You’re constantly on my mind to the point I just can’t help but crave having you near me. All the time. And it’s driving me crazy. It’s scary as hell and I know it sounds insane but I need you. You don’t even realize how much.
You make it look so easy. So right. Like whatever I’ve done, whatever I’ve been, I’m not being judged. Not by you."

He took a shaky breath and pursed his lips, like he was trying to stop himself from saying too much. Then, quieter.

"I wouldn’t fuck it up. Not this. It would never be worth it."

There were still so many things he didn’t say.
How you made him feel safe in a way no one ever had.
How you listened without flinching.
How just existing near you felt like healing.

And maybe someday, he’d find the words for all of that.
But for now, this was everything.

"You’re pathetic." You huffed, but there was no bite in your voice. If anything, his words had sobered you up. Slowed your heartbeat in that dangerous, terrifying way.

"I know," he murmured. "Just for you."

You rolled your eyes but your lips twitched.

"You better deal with the paper."

"Yes." He was already shifting. "I’ll do it right now if you want."

You leaned in, your fingers brushing against his jaw, tilting his face toward yours.

"I’m thinking about doing other things." You muttered.

And then…

Dot dot dot.

"Fucking disgusting!" Your daughter gasped.

"Don’t tell me you told her about The Hogwarts gossip thing." Mattheo appeared in the living room, still in his robe from work

"Of course I did. She had to know the real truth about how her parents started dating."

"You didn’t need to say the WHOLE thing." She yelled.

"I didn’t. The ending is kept open for free interpretation." You shrugged, an amused smile on your face.

She huffed getting up. "This is so going to the group chat. Uncle Draco’s definitely going to hear about this. You two need help."

Mattheo glanced at you with a smirk.

"Do you think we should ask Draco for that therapist he talked about ? Maybe our dear daughter might need it."

"I don’t think it’s necessary. She’s just jealous she’s not as fun as us." You answer teasingly.

"You’re both insane!" Your daughter yelled from the hallway.

Mattheo chuckled and dropped onto the couch beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. You went without resistance, head resting against his chest.

"You shouldn’t have told her." He muttered. "It’s an embarrassing story." 

"It’s a cute story." you countered, lips curving into a smirk.

He paused. Then sighed.

"Yeah well. Still awfully cheesy."

You just laughed, knowing damn well it was his favorite memory too.

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for three months. still not satisfied with the content but it took me a lot of time to edit.

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Ok, trying to understand why I love the idea of Yelena and Bob as a couple. Well, because it's different. They are both not the typical characters you see in Hollywood blockbusters, there's a certain vulnerability to them that it's unique and they both are allowed to look like a mess. Bob is not hyper masculine, despite being basically... Superman. Yelena is not a femme fatale despite being an assassin. It's something new to these super-hero films. It's something young.

I think this is why it's catching people's attention.

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i hope you weren’t disappointed by part 2 ;)

Busy Woman | J. Bucky Barnes

summary: You’ve always had a soft spot for Bucky Barnes. Shamelessly flirted just to see that annoyed look that made him look so good. He never gave you more than those quiet stares, jaw tight like he was holding something back. Fine by you. You had better things to do than wait around for a man stuck in the 40s. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!reader

cw: angst (i love writing that lol), post endgame, mentally unstable reader, grumpy bucky, flirting, cocky reader, reader has no filter, sexual jokes, implied canon deaths, implied canon violence, several times

3k words

inspo: busy woman by sabrina carpenter

It started of with occasional flirting. You’ve been told that James—Bucky as people called him—Barnes was an ex assassin, a super soldier with a body count larger than you would’ve suspected, a guy that had the power to literally crush you if you annoyed him too much. But you didn’t care.

You’ve always been too bold and shameless for your own being. Life is too short to worry about details as insignificant as his body count (his death toll—you didn’t care about his past experience with women, or men ?—the more the better…).

This being said, you did not ignore who he was. You obviously acknowledge what he had done before. But hey, you could still appreciate beauty for what it was. Because James Buchanan Barnes was truly a sight for sore eyes. You didn’t know where all this playful flirting started getting more real.

"You look good in black." You mentioned one day gesturing to his gear. You both were paired in a small check up mission, much to your delight and Bucky’s annoyance.

"I always wear black clothes." He huffed.

"Yeah, my point." You smiled.

Men look hot in black, that’s a universal law, so you didn’t think much when you gave that comment. You’ve always been like that, subtly flirting with anyone, giving genuine compliments, sometimes out of the blue. It came naturally, especially with Bucky. What you truly did not expect was seeing his face flushing. It was subtle, but your eyes noticed. And that’s how your one sided flirting with him truly began.

"Something’s off." Bucky muttered, looking at the tracking device in his hands.

"Probably my clothes." It took him a moment to grasp it. But when he did his eyes just widened, and he sighed, used to it already. "You have no sense of humour whatsoever it is alarming." You continued after observing his reaction.

"No because that is straight off the worst pick up line you could come up with. Is this what you call flirting ?"

"You’re so confident that Im flirting with you. That is also alarming."

You were in fact flirting with him, though subtly. But you still kept the upper hand, folding your arms across your chest in a way that was almost childish.

He matched your gesture, folding his arms against his chest, a playful smirk on his face. "Well I hope you’re not because rejecting you now would probably mess with our assignment discharge." It was subtle too. But it was his way of rejecting you, kind of. You didn’t flinch. You wouldn’t take it seriously until he said the words straight to your face.

"Oh…" you pouted, mock-hurt. "I didn’t want your old cranky ass anyway." The lie rolled off your tongue effortlessly. It wasn’t awkward—your smile stayed sharp, teasing, and his matched it. He probably thought you were joking. Maybe you were. "But hey although i’m busy, clothes are always optional if you ever need a favor."

He groaned. Yep, you absolutely loved teasing him.

Something resonated through him one day. It was right after Thanos erased half of the world population. To him the blip felt like just a second but to you, you aged five years. You were apart of the Time Heist mission. You saw your sister sacrifice herself, to save you and the world. And you felt awfully guilty.

Things had drastically changed, when people reappeared. Bucky found himself in a world that was once again moving on while he was freezing with time. But still he got pardoned for his former actions, he started seeing a therapist and right when he thought he would be able to get his life together, Steve left. But you, you were the same old person. Talking to him as if nothing changed, as if you didn’t age five years older while he still looked the same.

You were in his apartment on a random evening—the very same night he returned from a "date" with the girl from the sushi place. Not that he knew you’d stalked him. When Bucky noticed his door was unlocked, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. He was sure he’d locked it. The key turned too easily. Then he saw you. A sigh left his lips, probably exasperation or relief. Maybe a bit of both. Still he didn’t have the energy to make you leave at that moment. Great mistake.

"I mean a win is a win, it shrunk our age gap with five years." You shrugged to him when the subject of the blip came into the conversation. It was more you talking and him huffing and listening. Barely listening. "You know I missed you. It was kind of boring without you."

"I bet it was." He huffed. "Look why don’t you just–" he gestured to your figure laying on his couch a bag of crisps, that you stole from his pantry, in your hands. "Stop putting crumbs all around the apartment and just get out now."

"Woah, I see you’re still rude." You mumbled. "I just missed you during those five years you know ? And since all of my friends are either gone or dead I just feel… super, super lonely." You sighed, dramatically. Although it sounded like a joke, you meant everything you said.

Your life truly fell apart when half of the population disappeared, it was already crumbling before but now, it was much more worse. Things were different. If it wasn’t for Nat being with you before, you would’ve probably not made it past your twenties. But now that she died, sacrificing herself, you just felt like you were dying all over again.

"Don’t you feel lonely ?" You asked cutting the silence. He turned to you, a bit surprised by what you asked him. You were staring straight ahead without blinking and that’s when he noticed the flask in your hand.

"You’ve got to be kidding me…" He muttered under his breath, taking the flask away from you. "Have you seriously brought alcohol here ?"

"I told you I felt lonely." You tried to defend yourself, as if it was enough to justify your need to drink alcohol. "But you did not answer me."

He sighed slumping in the couch next to you. He stared at the bottle that he stole from you just seconds ago, and he brought it to his mouth before wincing.

"This thing is disgusting."

"Its just some cheap vodka. I don’t have money." You answered sadly, your eyes not leaving the point you were fixing on the ceiling. You were absolutely wasted, after just one sip. To be fair it was your first time drinking, your system was definitely not used to it, even with all the serum injected in your veins.

"Once you’re sober, you’re getting out of here."

"Why do you badly want me to go mmh ?" You asked turning your head towards him, a frown on your face. You were not about to cry. Yes definitely not in front of him. "I would’ve rather gone to Sam." You say bluntly, the alcohol loosening your thoughts. "But he’s visiting his family and I thought you would maybe appreciate some company."

"Well I clearly don’t so you have your answer now." He said more firmly. "I don’t want your company."

"You don’t want me ?" You pouted, although your face showed a hint of amusement. Your fingers lightly grazed his flesh arm, and Bucky flinched at the contact—until he noticed your gaze shift toward the flask in his left hand. With a reluctant sigh, he offered it to you. But you did not take it. Instead you reached for his metal wrist,guiding him until the rim of the flask touched your lips, forcing him to pour de drink in your mouth. He was too stunned to resist, his eyes widening as he let you. "What ?" You hiccuped, probably from the drinking. "It’s technically you making me drunk now so it gives me a reason to stay longer." You giggled. You genuinely though at that moment that it was the smartest thing you’ve ever done. And that’s something to say because you were an ex spy.

"Fine." He said standing up and pouring the rest of the alcohol in the sink. You quickly got up, trying to follow him. Your walk was wobbly.

"Do you even know how much this cost me ?" You rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to not completely crumble on the ground.

"Have you seen yourself right now ?"

"Do you care for me ?"

"Not even close."

"Okay fine if you don’t want me…" You feigned walking towards the door but before you reached the handle you turned toward him. "I’ll just deem you gay." You giggled so hard you lost your balance.

The sexual undertones were not unnoticed by Bucky and he simply decided to blame the alcohol for your behaviour– although you always acted this way, sober or not. He was empathetic enough to help you off the ground and lead you back to the couch. You arms were around his shoulders as he grabbed you from your waist. When he tried to pull away, you were still gripping him hard.

"I am so lonely James." you murmured, your voice barely audible against his chest. You felt the rapid thrum of his heart beneath your cheek. He must have great stamina, you thought unaware it was racing for an entirely different reason.

"I know me too." He admitted too. Knowing that you wouldn’t remember it the next day.

He left you sleeping on his couch, you were definitely not going back to your house in this state and he should do with it.

Bucky woke up the next morning to an unexpected sound: silence. No burning kitchen, no flooded bathroom. Everything was exactly as he’d left it. For a moment, he wondered if he’d imagined you being there at all—some kind of strange dream brought on by exhaustion and memory.

But then he saw the neatly folded plaid blanket on the couch. You’d been there. You just left before he woke up. No note, no text—just gone. And it was barely 7 a.m.

It’s fine, he told himself. Nothing happened. I asked her to leave.

Still, a faint, unwelcome flicker of disappointment crept in. You could’ve at least thanked him, right?

He did not have time to dwell on it anyway. He had a more important business to attend to.

…

Sam was glaring at Bucky from across the jet. The hum of the engines was the only sound between them, heavy silence stretching thin like thread ready to snap. After deciding to confront Sam about the shield this morning, Bucky found him heading to Munich for an operation and he decided to tag along. That is pretty much how they found themselves in this situation.

"So…who are we fighting ?" Your voice cut through the quinjet, and you appeared from the steering cabin. You wore a headset and a black gear, the one you usually wore when you went on missions.

Bucky’s head snapped toward you, his expression tightening the second his eyes landed on your face. He grumbled something under his breath—he was definitely cursing you. The corner of your mouth tugged upward despite yourself. You always did have that effect on him.

"Did you plan this ?" His question was raised towards Sam.

"Why would I plan this ? You were the one who forced yourself into this plane" Sam retorted, he then turned to you a bit surprised. "What are you doing here ?"

"I happen to be training to become a pilot here and well it also happens to be the exact plane you guys are in so…" you lingered a bit. "I guess we’re working together." You flashed a wide smile.

"We’re absolutely not." Bucky said.

"I did not ask." You shrugged going to sit right next to Sam, which gave you a great sight of Bucky in front of you. This man looks so good when he’s annoyed. "I think Sam would rather work with me than with your little bitch ass anyway."

"Couldn’t have said it better." Sam muttered, and you extended your hand high-fiving him.

"Do you have something with my ass ? ‘Cause you’ve been talking a lot about it lately ."

"Wouldn’t you want to know." You winked at him. You hunched forward, elbows on your knees and hands supporting your face. Without breaking the eye contact. You stayed like this for a full minute.

Bucky felt… off. Unsettled. You were talking to him like nothing had happened—as if just the night before, you hadn’t shown up at his apartment, drunk and messy and vulnerable. As if you hadn’t buried your face in his chest and confessed that you were lonely. As if you hadn’t fallen asleep right there against him.

And now? You were smirking, teasing him like it meant nothing. Like he meant nothing.

Maybe you didn’t remember. Maybe it had been one of those hazy, half-lost nights for you. Or maybe—maybe that kind of moment was just something you could toss aside without blinking.

But for Bucky, it lingered. It was etched into the quiet corners of his mind.

And now you were laughing at him. Flirting like the night hadn’t happened.

He clenched his jaw and broke the eye contact, not trusting himself to speak. Because the truth—the one he hadn’t said out loud—was that it hadn’t been nothing for him.

"Haha you lost !" You cheered, turning to Sam. "See that, I just fixed his staring problem."

Sam caught the brief exchange and couldn’t help the amused grin that spread across his face. This mission wouldn’t be that bad now with you joining them.

"I don’t think you fixed anything. You just made freeky magoo over there very flustered."

Bucky rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Before he could answer anything, Torres appeared from the cockpit.

"One minute till drop off, Sam."

"Y’all did not answer me." You huffed standing up and grabbing an earpiece of you own.

"Flag smashers." Sam briefly answered. "You probably heard of them."

"Thirty seconds !" You heard Torres yell.

"Enjoy your ride Buck." Sam

"Oh no you can’t call me that."

"Why not ? That’s what Steve called you."

"Steve knew me longer and Steve had a plan."

"I have a plan." Sam turned to you. "You coming ?"

"Yep." You got up and Sam extended his hand for you to take. The plane was extremely low so you couldn’t use a chute.

"Fifteen seconds."

Sam gripped your waist.

"Oh yeah, what’s your plan ? Her ?" Bucky called, but Sam ignored him and jumped out of the plane with you in his arms.

"How’s he coming down ?" You asked Sam once you both were in the air flying towards the the outbuilding where your targets were located.

"He’ll manage."

"I had all of that on camera you know that." Sam said from beside you. You were watching Bucky from Redwing’s camera. He was lying on the ground where he fell a few seconds earlier from the plane.

"The whining looks good on you Barnes."

"Get out of my face or you’ll experience what real whining sounds like."

"Kinky." You muttered

"That’s a fucking threat."

The mission had gone sideways—again.

Smoke still lingered in the air, the convoy you were meant to intercept now far gone in the horizon. The intel had been wrong. Again. Too many hostiles, too many surprises, and no backup. Well except for Captain American wannabe and his acolyte.

And somewhere in the brutal fight, Bucky had done what he thought was best.

He had tossed you out of the moving truck.

Literally.

You were still brushing gravel off your jacket as you stormed down the dirt path beside him, your hair wild, your boots stomping with each step. You were limping, pretty sure you had twisted your ankle.

"You threw me off of a fucking truck, Barnes!"

"I saved your life." Bucky snapped, not even looking at you.

Sam trailed just a few steps behind, looking like he was trying not to laugh. Or interfere. Or get involved in the very obvious mess brewing between you two.

You turned on Bucky, not even acknowledging your hobbling stride, walking backward just to glare at him properly. "You couldn’t have just said ‘jump’? But no? You had to manhandle me and yeet me into a ditch like a rag doll?"

"You weren’t listening!" Bucky growled. "You were about to get blown up, and I didn’t have time to argue!"

"So your solution was throwing me out of a moving vehicle?!"

"You’re fine, aren’t you?" he snapped back, finally meeting your glare. "Little bruised ego, that’s all."

Sam finally sighed, raising his hands. "Alright, alright. Can we not kill each other while we’re in the middle of nowhere? I don’t feel like dying because you two decided now was the time to have a full-blown breakup fight—without even dating."

You both turned to glare at him in perfect unison.

Sam just shrugged. "I’m just saying what we’re all thinking."

"She shouldn’t have come." He deadpanned, he wasn’t even addressing to you and this made your blood boil.

Your eyes narrowed dangerously. "You don’t get to decide what I can handle. I’m not some helpless bitch."

"Oh really ?" He let out a dry laugh. "Could’ve fooled me." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

When Bucky stared at your eyes, there was no longer that usual warmth that you always had when you talked to him. Gone was the usual glint of mischief, that effortless warmth you always carried when you tossed a smirk his way or teased him like he didn’t terrify most people. Your gaze now was colder—steeled, unreadable. You weren’t joking anymore.

"Nothing," Bucky gritted out, his hands balled into fists at his sides. "I’m just done cleaning up after someone who treats everything like a joke and never thinks about anyone but herself."

The words hung in the air like a slap. You froze mid-step.

He wasn’t just talking about the mission anymore. You knew it.

You stared at him, stunned for a second, before your voice dropped, sharp and cold. “Say what you really want to say, Barnes. Stop dancing around it.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at you.

That silence? It cut deeper than his words.

You shook your head with a bitter smile. “Right. That’s what I thought.” You turned and kept walking.

And maybe for the first time, he realized you were genuinely hurt.

part 2

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for sooo long. There will be a part 2 I just need to edit it, although i’m highly contemplating turning this into a fanfic

[wbellab]

Thank you so much! I absolutely LOVE writing a nuanced romance such as this one I feel like it gives so much depth to their relationship. The ending was actually my favourite part to write it was SO much fun to write.

I am so glad you all enjoyed it as much as I did!

Busy Woman | J. Bucky Barnes

summary: You’ve always had a soft spot for Bucky Barnes. Shamelessly flirted just to see that annoyed look that made him look so good. He never gave you more than those quiet stares, jaw tight like he was holding something back. Fine by you. You had better things to do than wait around for a man stuck in the 40s. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!reader

cw: angst (i love writing that lol), post endgame, mentally unstable reader, grumpy bucky, flirting, cocky reader, reader has no filter, sexual jokes, implied canon deaths, implied canon violence, several times

3k words

inspo: busy woman by sabrina carpenter

It started of with occasional flirting. You’ve been told that James—Bucky as people called him—Barnes was an ex assassin, a super soldier with a body count larger than you would’ve suspected, a guy that had the power to literally crush you if you annoyed him too much. But you didn’t care.

You’ve always been too bold and shameless for your own being. Life is too short to worry about details as insignificant as his body count (his death toll—you didn’t care about his past experience with women, or men ?—the more the better…).

This being said, you did not ignore who he was. You obviously acknowledge what he had done before. But hey, you could still appreciate beauty for what it was. Because James Buchanan Barnes was truly a sight for sore eyes. You didn’t know where all this playful flirting started getting more real.

"You look good in black." You mentioned one day gesturing to his gear. You both were paired in a small check up mission, much to your delight and Bucky’s annoyance.

"I always wear black clothes." He huffed.

"Yeah, my point." You smiled.

Men look hot in black, that’s a universal law, so you didn’t think much when you gave that comment. You’ve always been like that, subtly flirting with anyone, giving genuine compliments, sometimes out of the blue. It came naturally, especially with Bucky. What you truly did not expect was seeing his face flushing. It was subtle, but your eyes noticed. And that’s how your one sided flirting with him truly began.

"Something’s off." Bucky muttered, looking at the tracking device in his hands.

"Probably my clothes." It took him a moment to grasp it. But when he did his eyes just widened, and he sighed, used to it already. "You have no sense of humour whatsoever it is alarming." You continued after observing his reaction.

"No because that is straight off the worst pick up line you could come up with. Is this what you call flirting ?"

"You’re so confident that Im flirting with you. That is also alarming."

You were in fact flirting with him, though subtly. But you still kept the upper hand, folding your arms across your chest in a way that was almost childish.

He matched your gesture, folding his arms against his chest, a playful smirk on his face. "Well I hope you’re not because rejecting you now would probably mess with our assignment discharge." It was subtle too. But it was his way of rejecting you, kind of. You didn’t flinch. You wouldn’t take it seriously until he said the words straight to your face.

"Oh…" you pouted, mock-hurt. "I didn’t want your old cranky ass anyway." The lie rolled off your tongue effortlessly. It wasn’t awkward—your smile stayed sharp, teasing, and his matched it. He probably thought you were joking. Maybe you were. "But hey although i’m busy, clothes are always optional if you ever need a favor."

He groaned. Yep, you absolutely loved teasing him.

Something resonated through him one day. It was right after Thanos erased half of the world population. To him the blip felt like just a second but to you, you aged five years. You were apart of the Time Heist mission. You saw your sister sacrifice herself, to save you and the world. And you felt awfully guilty.

Things had drastically changed, when people reappeared. Bucky found himself in a world that was once again moving on while he was freezing with time. But still he got pardoned for his former actions, he started seeing a therapist and right when he thought he would be able to get his life together, Steve left. But you, you were the same old person. Talking to him as if nothing changed, as if you didn’t age five years older while he still looked the same.

You were in his apartment on a random evening—the very same night he returned from a "date" with the girl from the sushi place. Not that he knew you’d stalked him. When Bucky noticed his door was unlocked, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. He was sure he’d locked it. The key turned too easily. Then he saw you. A sigh left his lips, probably exasperation or relief. Maybe a bit of both. Still he didn’t have the energy to make you leave at that moment. Great mistake.

"I mean a win is a win, it shrunk our age gap with five years." You shrugged to him when the subject of the blip came into the conversation. It was more you talking and him huffing and listening. Barely listening. "You know I missed you. It was kind of boring without you."

"I bet it was." He huffed. "Look why don’t you just–" he gestured to your figure laying on his couch a bag of crisps, that you stole from his pantry, in your hands. "Stop putting crumbs all around the apartment and just get out now."

"Woah, I see you’re still rude." You mumbled. "I just missed you during those five years you know ? And since all of my friends are either gone or dead I just feel… super, super lonely." You sighed, dramatically. Although it sounded like a joke, you meant everything you said.

Your life truly fell apart when half of the population disappeared, it was already crumbling before but now, it was much more worse. Things were different. If it wasn’t for Nat being with you before, you would’ve probably not made it past your twenties. But now that she died, sacrificing herself, you just felt like you were dying all over again.

"Don’t you feel lonely ?" You asked cutting the silence. He turned to you, a bit surprised by what you asked him. You were staring straight ahead without blinking and that’s when he noticed the flask in your hand.

"You’ve got to be kidding me…" He muttered under his breath, taking the flask away from you. "Have you seriously brought alcohol here ?"

"I told you I felt lonely." You tried to defend yourself, as if it was enough to justify your need to drink alcohol. "But you did not answer me."

He sighed slumping in the couch next to you. He stared at the bottle that he stole from you just seconds ago, and he brought it to his mouth before wincing.

"This thing is disgusting."

"Its just some cheap vodka. I don’t have money." You answered sadly, your eyes not leaving the point you were fixing on the ceiling. You were absolutely wasted, after just one sip. To be fair it was your first time drinking, your system was definitely not used to it, even with all the serum injected in your veins.

"Once you’re sober, you’re getting out of here."

"Why do you badly want me to go mmh ?" You asked turning your head towards him, a frown on your face. You were not about to cry. Yes definitely not in front of him. "I would’ve rather gone to Sam." You say bluntly, the alcohol loosening your thoughts. "But he’s visiting his family and I thought you would maybe appreciate some company."

"Well I clearly don’t so you have your answer now." He said more firmly. "I don’t want your company."

"You don’t want me ?" You pouted, although your face showed a hint of amusement. Your fingers lightly grazed his flesh arm, and Bucky flinched at the contact—until he noticed your gaze shift toward the flask in his left hand. With a reluctant sigh, he offered it to you. But you did not take it. Instead you reached for his metal wrist,guiding him until the rim of the flask touched your lips, forcing him to pour de drink in your mouth. He was too stunned to resist, his eyes widening as he let you. "What ?" You hiccuped, probably from the drinking. "It’s technically you making me drunk now so it gives me a reason to stay longer." You giggled. You genuinely though at that moment that it was the smartest thing you’ve ever done. And that’s something to say because you were an ex spy.

"Fine." He said standing up and pouring the rest of the alcohol in the sink. You quickly got up, trying to follow him. Your walk was wobbly.

"Do you even know how much this cost me ?" You rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to not completely crumble on the ground.

"Have you seen yourself right now ?"

"Do you care for me ?"

"Not even close."

"Okay fine if you don’t want me…" You feigned walking towards the door but before you reached the handle you turned toward him. "I’ll just deem you gay." You giggled so hard you lost your balance.

The sexual undertones were not unnoticed by Bucky and he simply decided to blame the alcohol for your behaviour– although you always acted this way, sober or not. He was empathetic enough to help you off the ground and lead you back to the couch. You arms were around his shoulders as he grabbed you from your waist. When he tried to pull away, you were still gripping him hard.

"I am so lonely James." you murmured, your voice barely audible against his chest. You felt the rapid thrum of his heart beneath your cheek. He must have great stamina, you thought unaware it was racing for an entirely different reason.

"I know me too." He admitted too. Knowing that you wouldn’t remember it the next day.

He left you sleeping on his couch, you were definitely not going back to your house in this state and he should do with it.

Bucky woke up the next morning to an unexpected sound: silence. No burning kitchen, no flooded bathroom. Everything was exactly as he’d left it. For a moment, he wondered if he’d imagined you being there at all—some kind of strange dream brought on by exhaustion and memory.

But then he saw the neatly folded plaid blanket on the couch. You’d been there. You just left before he woke up. No note, no text—just gone. And it was barely 7 a.m.

It’s fine, he told himself. Nothing happened. I asked her to leave.

Still, a faint, unwelcome flicker of disappointment crept in. You could’ve at least thanked him, right?

He did not have time to dwell on it anyway. He had a more important business to attend to.

…

Sam was glaring at Bucky from across the jet. The hum of the engines was the only sound between them, heavy silence stretching thin like thread ready to snap. After deciding to confront Sam about the shield this morning, Bucky found him heading to Munich for an operation and he decided to tag along. That is pretty much how they found themselves in this situation.

"So…who are we fighting ?" Your voice cut through the quinjet, and you appeared from the steering cabin. You wore a headset and a black gear, the one you usually wore when you went on missions.

Bucky’s head snapped toward you, his expression tightening the second his eyes landed on your face. He grumbled something under his breath—he was definitely cursing you. The corner of your mouth tugged upward despite yourself. You always did have that effect on him.

"Did you plan this ?" His question was raised towards Sam.

"Why would I plan this ? You were the one who forced yourself into this plane" Sam retorted, he then turned to you a bit surprised. "What are you doing here ?"

"I happen to be training to become a pilot here and well it also happens to be the exact plane you guys are in so…" you lingered a bit. "I guess we’re working together." You flashed a wide smile.

"We’re absolutely not." Bucky said.

"I did not ask." You shrugged going to sit right next to Sam, which gave you a great sight of Bucky in front of you. This man looks so good when he’s annoyed. "I think Sam would rather work with me than with your little bitch ass anyway."

"Couldn’t have said it better." Sam muttered, and you extended your hand high-fiving him.

"Do you have something with my ass ? ‘Cause you’ve been talking a lot about it lately ."

"Wouldn’t you want to know." You winked at him. You hunched forward, elbows on your knees and hands supporting your face. Without breaking the eye contact. You stayed like this for a full minute.

Bucky felt… off. Unsettled. You were talking to him like nothing had happened—as if just the night before, you hadn’t shown up at his apartment, drunk and messy and vulnerable. As if you hadn’t buried your face in his chest and confessed that you were lonely. As if you hadn’t fallen asleep right there against him.

And now? You were smirking, teasing him like it meant nothing. Like he meant nothing.

Maybe you didn’t remember. Maybe it had been one of those hazy, half-lost nights for you. Or maybe—maybe that kind of moment was just something you could toss aside without blinking.

But for Bucky, it lingered. It was etched into the quiet corners of his mind.

And now you were laughing at him. Flirting like the night hadn’t happened.

He clenched his jaw and broke the eye contact, not trusting himself to speak. Because the truth—the one he hadn’t said out loud—was that it hadn’t been nothing for him.

"Haha you lost !" You cheered, turning to Sam. "See that, I just fixed his staring problem."

Sam caught the brief exchange and couldn’t help the amused grin that spread across his face. This mission wouldn’t be that bad now with you joining them.

"I don’t think you fixed anything. You just made freeky magoo over there very flustered."

Bucky rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Before he could answer anything, Torres appeared from the cockpit.

"One minute till drop off, Sam."

"Y’all did not answer me." You huffed standing up and grabbing an earpiece of you own.

"Flag smashers." Sam briefly answered. "You probably heard of them."

"Thirty seconds !" You heard Torres yell.

"Enjoy your ride Buck." Sam

"Oh no you can’t call me that."

"Why not ? That’s what Steve called you."

"Steve knew me longer and Steve had a plan."

"I have a plan." Sam turned to you. "You coming ?"

"Yep." You got up and Sam extended his hand for you to take. The plane was extremely low so you couldn’t use a chute.

"Fifteen seconds."

Sam gripped your waist.

"Oh yeah, what’s your plan ? Her ?" Bucky called, but Sam ignored him and jumped out of the plane with you in his arms.

"How’s he coming down ?" You asked Sam once you both were in the air flying towards the the outbuilding where your targets were located.

"He’ll manage."

"I had all of that on camera you know that." Sam said from beside you. You were watching Bucky from Redwing’s camera. He was lying on the ground where he fell a few seconds earlier from the plane.

"The whining looks good on you Barnes."

"Get out of my face or you’ll experience what real whining sounds like."

"Kinky." You muttered

"That’s a fucking threat."

The mission had gone sideways—again.

Smoke still lingered in the air, the convoy you were meant to intercept now far gone in the horizon. The intel had been wrong. Again. Too many hostiles, too many surprises, and no backup. Well except for Captain American wannabe and his acolyte.

And somewhere in the brutal fight, Bucky had done what he thought was best.

He had tossed you out of the moving truck.

Literally.

You were still brushing gravel off your jacket as you stormed down the dirt path beside him, your hair wild, your boots stomping with each step. You were limping, pretty sure you had twisted your ankle.

"You threw me off of a fucking truck, Barnes!"

"I saved your life." Bucky snapped, not even looking at you.

Sam trailed just a few steps behind, looking like he was trying not to laugh. Or interfere. Or get involved in the very obvious mess brewing between you two.

You turned on Bucky, not even acknowledging your hobbling stride, walking backward just to glare at him properly. "You couldn’t have just said ‘jump’? But no? You had to manhandle me and yeet me into a ditch like a rag doll?"

"You weren’t listening!" Bucky growled. "You were about to get blown up, and I didn’t have time to argue!"

"So your solution was throwing me out of a moving vehicle?!"

"You’re fine, aren’t you?" he snapped back, finally meeting your glare. "Little bruised ego, that’s all."

Sam finally sighed, raising his hands. "Alright, alright. Can we not kill each other while we’re in the middle of nowhere? I don’t feel like dying because you two decided now was the time to have a full-blown breakup fight—without even dating."

You both turned to glare at him in perfect unison.

Sam just shrugged. "I’m just saying what we’re all thinking."

"She shouldn’t have come." He deadpanned, he wasn’t even addressing to you and this made your blood boil.

Your eyes narrowed dangerously. "You don’t get to decide what I can handle. I’m not some helpless bitch."

"Oh really ?" He let out a dry laugh. "Could’ve fooled me." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

When Bucky stared at your eyes, there was no longer that usual warmth that you always had when you talked to him. Gone was the usual glint of mischief, that effortless warmth you always carried when you tossed a smirk his way or teased him like he didn’t terrify most people. Your gaze now was colder—steeled, unreadable. You weren’t joking anymore.

"Nothing," Bucky gritted out, his hands balled into fists at his sides. "I’m just done cleaning up after someone who treats everything like a joke and never thinks about anyone but herself."

The words hung in the air like a slap. You froze mid-step.

He wasn’t just talking about the mission anymore. You knew it.

You stared at him, stunned for a second, before your voice dropped, sharp and cold. “Say what you really want to say, Barnes. Stop dancing around it.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at you.

That silence? It cut deeper than his words.

You shook your head with a bitter smile. “Right. That’s what I thought.” You turned and kept walking.

And maybe for the first time, he realized you were genuinely hurt.

part 2

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for sooo long. There will be a part 2 I just need to edit it, although i’m highly contemplating turning this into a fanfic

[wbellab]

Therapy session | J. Bucky Barnes

this could be read as a standalone or a part 2 of Busy Woman.

summary: after a chaotic mission, you end up attending a therapy session with bucky trying to mend up your relationship. this seems to have worsen up everything.

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!reader

cw: angsssst, therapy session, inspired by sambucky session in tfatws, graphic violence, some fluff (crumbles and bits), no use of y/n

3.1 k words

"Alright, Dr Raynor." You stated, more like a question and she nodded. "I get why you want me to talk to freaky magoo over here. But I’m a hundred per cent fine."

You definitely were not fine.

After the failed mission, Sam had dragged both you and Bucky to Baltimore in a failed attempt to get information from a former super soldier. That went about as well as expected. Meaning not at all. And to top it off, Bucky got arrested for skipping therapy.

But the real question was: why were you sitting there with him now?

There’s a high chance that Sam had conveniently brought up the fact that your relationship with Bucky had become a bit rocky— not that you ever really got along. Either that, or the tension between you had been so thick it practically walked into the room before you did.

"It is my job to make sure you both are okay. Sam told me what happened, so yeah." Oh so you were right. "This may be slightly unprofessional but it’s the only way that I can see you getting over whatever’s eating at you."

"This is ridiculous." You muttered.

"Yeah i agree."

"Okay we’re going to do an exercise. It’s something I use with couples when they’re trying to figure what kind of life they’re trying to build together." You let out a snort, not out of amusement but irony. Bucky just rolled his eyes.

"Are you familiar with the miracle question ?"

"I don’t think it’s necessar-" Bucky started but you cut him off.

"No I’m not. What is it ?"

"Okay it goes like this. Suppose that while you are sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up what is something you would like to see that would make your life better ?"

With no surprise, Bucky was the first to answer the question.

"In my miracle, she would talk less."

"Is that why you threw me out of a moving truck asshole?"

"See what i mean." He turned to the therapist, which made you send a glare towards him.

"You both are leaving me with no choice. It’s time for the soul gazing exercise."

"I like this one."

"Oh thank you I love this."

"Oh you should really enjoy this." You told him, moving your chair so that you would be facing him.

"I’m going to."

"I know you are."

"Okay you both face each other." The therapist instructed.

"Let’s do it let’s stare."

"We get close this is a good exercise."

"Thanks doc." You muttered.

"Alright, good get close. Come on closer."

"Well which way you want to go, right or left ?"

"Why do you have your legs wide open. You want me to sit on your lap or what ? You know what, fine." You scooted forward, legs angling inward until your knee pressed between his—and his was between yours.

The position was awkward. Too awkward. You could feel the brush of his knee against your inner thigh, too high, too warm. And though you hated to admit it, you could’ve almost been aroused by it. If your anger toward him didn’t burn hotter than the tension.

"You happy now ?" You huffed, successfully concealing your flustered state—which Bucky hasn’t been able to hide.

He sat stiffly, visibly uncomfortable, like even the slightest movement might set something off. He hadn’t moved an inch since you got close. Shoulders tense, jaw tight, clearly unsure where to look. It would’ve been satisfying if you weren’t equally rattled beneath the surface.

"All right, good. That’s fine." The therapist tried to stop your banter.

"It’s a little close." He muttered.

"It’s very close that’s what you wanted right ?" You retorted aggressively.

"Guys,"you both stopped. "Now look at each other. You need to look at each other in the eyes," you stared right at his blue eyes, a frown on your face similar to his. "There you see that wasn’t so hard."

You just continued staring right in them. Your eyes squinted trying hard not to blink as he did the same back.

You were still mad, furious actually, that he tossed you out of the damn truck without a single word. Like you were just some reckless burden he couldn’t deal with a second longer. And now, you wanted him to feel that. Every ounce of your anger.

So you weren’t about to blink. Not once. Not until he squirmed. Not until he realized you weren’t going to let him off easy.

Probably childish but effective.

"Wait what are you doing ? Are you having a staring contest ?" When none of you responded she snapped her fingers, making you close your teary eyes. Dammit.

"Just blink. Sweet Jesus."

Bucky’s frown was still on his face as he stared at the doctor.

"All right, Bucky, why does she aggravate you ?" A smirk started forming on his lips. He could definitely think of a bunch of reasons why you aggravated him. And when he was about to mention your current interest to his ass, Doctor Raynor cut him off. "And don’t say something childish."

Bucky’s smirk faltered and he let out a frustrated breathe. His jaw clenched as he started thinking, the muscle twitching like he was holding something back. For a second, he looked like he might drop it entirely. But then he sighed, tired of carrying the question around in silence.

"Why are you always flirting with me?" he asked quietly, almost too quietly. It wasn’t sarcastic. It wasn’t bitter. It was genuine, and that made it worse. There was a flicker of something raw behind his eyes, like he hated that he even had to ask. He sounded insecure and he hated it.


"Oh my god is this what it is all about?" You dryly chuckle. "Why are you making such a big deal out of something so insignificant ?"

"Do you flirt with Bucky to push his buttons ?" The therapist chimed in, a bit more interested in the direction the conversation was flowing.

You rolled your eyes. What is it with all these weird questions ?

"I flirt with him because I like him. The button pushing is just a bonus."

"Yeah. Of course you would." His voice was cold. Harsh and condescending. Every hint of amusement disappeared from your face. "Do you get a kick out of messing with people just for fun? You don’t get to flirt with people and then act like none of this matters. Like I’m just something to pass the time until you get bored. It’s fucking disgraceful. And I’m–"

He couldn’t bring himself to say more. You were staring right at him, a frown on your face. How could he bring himself to explain what he was feeling out loud?

Bucky couldn’t believe you. He wouldn’t believe that you simply liked him. This was too simple of an explanation for someone like him. Someone that did horrible things couldn’t be wanted in the first place.

And it wasn’t just his own insecurities getting through him.

No. This was anchored in his brain, as if a small cognitive part of it told him this wasn’t possible. That every small moment of kindness was a lie he wasn’t allowed to believe in. Someone like him don’t get the girl, not really. Not without her regretting it later.

Another part of his brain told him your boldness and playfulness were just a reflection of the value you had of him, insignificant. You were messing with him, knowing Bucky would fall for you.

And how could he not ? You did everything to make him. When you were so insistent with him, bold, charismatic and funny. Clingy and affectionate. You were everything he had been craving since he came back from Hydra. There was absolutely no universe in which James Buchanan Barnes wouldn’t have fallen for you.

"Don’t act like this is real. It’s unfair." He said more softly.

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. It wasn’t mean, not exactly but this was as if. You couldn’t believe you ever let yourself fall for someone like him. He never really understood you.

What you felt in that moment was a deep, gut-punch kind of hurt.

Being told it all meant nothing. That your affection was careless or meaningless. This all shattered something fragile inside you. Everything you ever said or did, thinking it was sweet or meaningful felt exposed, misunderstood. Like the final piece of a puzzle clicking into place, something you’d been too oblivious to see or too hopeful to admit.

He would never like you, never reciprocate the feelings.

This wasn’t just romantic rejection. It was emotional rejection. He hadn’t just dismissed your feelings, he’d rejected the way you showed your love to him. And that hit harder than anything else. It was humiliating to care so much, and be accused of the exact opposite.

With a final sigh, you told yourself this would be all over. You were done being taken for a fool.

"You know what’s really unfair? You dismissing my fucking feelings when I have been displaying them so obviously." You bit back, scooting your chair away from him, when you noticed the proximity you still had. "Maybe this is something you would never understand and I’m so done making a fool out of myself just for you to not get the signals." You snapped. Breathe in, breathe out. You turned to the doctor, glaring at her like she'd personally orchestrated this mess. She did nothing wrong but she was the reason why you were here, trapped in this room, sitting across from him. And right now, that was enough.

You didn’t even have the sense to feel guilty for it. Not with the way your chest burned. Not after everything that had gone unsaid.

"You know what Doc I don’t have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So how about this, I will squash it, right now. We’re gonna deal with this and when we’re done we’ll go on long separate vacations. And never see each other again."

"Yeah." He sighed, he did not want you to squash it. He wanted to talk, to understand. "I like that." He lied.

"Great then let’s get to work." You turned to the therapist. "Thanks doc for making it weird. I feel so much better. See you outside." You rolled your eyes, stomping to the door. This was a total mess.

"Thank you." She answered, but you were already gone. She turned to Bucky. "That was really great. You’re doing better at expressing your emotions. Maybe next time, we’ll work on the dating part." He completely ignored her, standing up to leave before being interrupted by her. "I know that look." She stared at him as if she would see right through him. "You’re pushing her away."

He ignored what she said once again. "What was rule number two again ?"

"Don’t hurt anyone." She simply answered.

"Goodbye doc."

This session did not help your case. It was worse and Sam noticed.

"So how did it go ?" He asked you once you were out.

"Get lost." You muttered, going through the door to leave the police station.

Sam turned to Bucky who left the room a few seconds after you, noticing the gloomy stare on his face.

"I get that it did not go as well as expected."

"Oh fuck off."

"Ok guys I don’t know what happened in this room but you need to deal with it like right now before we enter Madripoor."

"There’s nothing wrong. I’m totally fine, let’s deal with the more important matters." You scoffed

"If I may say–"

"Shut up."

"Please don’t."

You and Bucky said at the same time. Zemo raised an eyebrow but wisely chose silence, folding his hands behind his back. It had barely been three hours since Bucky busted him out of prison, and those three hours had already been filled with tension thick enough to cut with a knife. The fallout of that decision had led to a heated argument between you and Bucky, and the aftermath still lingered, electric and unspoken, hovering just beneath the surface.

And this tension would linger for days.

"You should fuck the tension off. Worked well with my wife." Zemo mentioned once in the jet.

"That’s what I told them." Sam grumbled, it seemed like it was the only thing he agreed about with Zemo.

You and Bucky both turned to glare at him in unison.

This was hard. The comments, all the underlying tension. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, let alone to anyone else but you hadn’t moved on. Not really. It still hurt to think about it. Not in a loud, obvious way but in a slow, aching kind that sat in your chest and made it hard to breathe.


It was over before it ever began. That was the part that stung the most.

You kept your eyes off him. Avoided looking. You didn’t know if he was watching you, and you didn’t care anymore. Or at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

The mission was done. You had stopped the Flash Smaggers’ attack on New York. You’d won.

And yet.

You noticed how close Sam and Bucky had become. You also noticed how far you’d drifted, not just from Sam, but from everyone. Two months. No calls returned. No contact. Just silence. You were alone again. Like before. And somehow, that felt almost familiar. Pathetic, but familiar.

Your boots hit the pavement in steady, silent steps. You were walking nowhere. Just moving.

And then you felt it, the presence behind you. Subtle, careful. But not careful enough. You’d clocked them almost thirty minutes ago. You were trained for this. So you led them here in a dark alley, bad angles.

You pressed your back to the cold brick wall, waited. As soon as the figure passed the corner, you struck. Knife in hand, aiming for the throat.

But they were faster. The blade never made it.


You felt cold metal clamp around your wrist, stopping you mid-motion. Bucky. Of course.

You didn’t hesitate. If anything, that just made you angrier.

You slammed your heel into his solar plexus. He faltered, loosened his grip, and your wrist slipped free. In one fluid motion, you ducked low, sweeping for his legs.
But he was already moving.

Instead, he grabbed your jacket, yanked you forward, and slammed you against the wall with a thud that echoed.

You retaliated immediately, headbutting him hard bone cracking against bone. He staggered, blood running from his nose, and you used the opening to punch him in the stomach.

But before it could collide, he grabbed your wrist, and twisted it back. But you twisted with him, using the momentum to slam your elbow into his ribs again and shove him into the wall.

He gripped your waist, lifted you, and threw you to the ground. Hard.

You hit the concrete with a grunt, For a second, something flickered in his expression, concern, hesitation. And that split-second lapse was all you needed. You kicked upward, catching him in the thigh, rolling to your feet before he could pin you.

You were breathing hard now, both of you bruised, dirt and blood smeared across your clothes, faces cut and scraped from the pavement.

"Stop following me. You think you can just toss me out of a truck, dismiss my feelings and then follow me like nothing happened?" you snarled, your leg connected with the back of his knee to destabilize him. "You don’t get to throw me away literally and come running when you feel like it."

He stumbled back, but he caught himself. "You’re the one who disappeared."

You didn’t even wait. You slammed your elbow to his throat, driving him into the alley wall with a loud thud.

"Because you made it clear I meant nothing to you!"

"I did not mean to hurt you." he spat back, shoving you off him roughly. "You think any of this is easy for me?"

"I don’t care if it’s easy!" You shoved again, fists pounding at his chest now. "You said I toyed with you. You said I didn’t care. You made me feel like I was some stupid little girl who couldn’t take this seriously—"

"You think I don’t feel anything?" His voice cracked, but not out of emotion. Out of sheer frustration. "I was lost and I couldn’t understand you. I was trying to protect you!"

"By humiliating me? By making me feel like shit? You don't get to act like some noble idiot now, Bucky. You’re not the victim."

He lunged again, catching your wrists, holding them against the wall this time. Not gently.

"You think I’m not aware of that?" his voice was low in your ear. "I know I’m screwed up. I know what people see when they look at me. So forgive me if I don’t believe it when someone like you pretends to give a damn."

Your breathing was ragged. The tension between you was suffocating.

"Get your hands off me," you whispered.

He didn’t move. "Say you didn’t mean it."

"What?"

"All the flirting. The drunk night. The things you said. Say you didn’t mean any of it."

Your heart slammed against your ribs. But you didn’t say a word.

That silence was enough.

He let go of you like your skin burned him, and took two steps back.

The distance felt a hell of a lot colder than the fight.

"I was cruel," he said quietly.

"You were," you answered, not softening it for him.

And he nodded, like he knew you would say that. Like he needed to hear it.

“It wasn’t about you,” he said. "But I made it about you. I made you pay for the shit in my head, and that’s on me."

"I no longer care." You lied.

"Please come back." His hand grabbed you arm, softly now. You let him guide you towards him. Although you stayed impassive.

"No. James don’t."

He ignored you and caressed the bruise that was forming on your forehead.

"I’m sorry." He muttered. You couldn’t tell if he meant the bruise or everything else—but your throat tightened anyway.

You frowned, eyes stinging, and before you could stop yourself, everything that you’ve been bottling up had exploded. Tears spilled over and he saw it.

Without hesitation, he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you like he could keep the world out.

"It’s okay. I’ve got you." He muttered, his hand stroking your hair.

You sank into him, both of you slowly lowering to the ground. He followed without letting go, holding you as tightly as he could while you cried against his chest.

"You deserve better, doll."

"I don’t–" Your choked on a sob. And he only pulled you tighter.

"We’ll figure it out. I’m not letting you go again."

Dirtied, bloodied, bruised. You both looked wrecked. And somehow, in the thick of it all, you decided to believe him. To start over.

Not with promises. Not with pretty words. But with this—his arms around you, your tears on his shirt, and the silence that didn’t need to be filled.

That was how it would begin: in the comfort of the chaos. Not clean, not easy. But real.

a/n: i was about to separate this one and make a part 3 but i m on my exam period so it was either binge writing it or never finishing it. Thank you for everyone all of you I truly appreciate that you liked the first part !

@vxllys @seventeen-x @softpia @just-a-little-awkward @am-3-thyst @freshfreakoaftrash @awinchester83 @stars4birdie @ladyliloslife @starstruckfirecat @hannahbanannax @genlovesdcb @fandomsearcherforcuntymen

@astermwah @spaceunicorn293 @inloveallthetime @bigteefsmallbrain @oceanaroma @winchestert101 @thatgirljas13

[wbellab]

If y’all told me this guy was spiderman i would’ve believed you. Peter Parker who ? I only know of Bob.

(no but really he looks so similar to tom holland it’s scary)

say hello to the new white boy of the month

[wbellab]

Marvel CU

Bucky Barnes

Busy woman

You’ve always had a soft spot for Bucky Barnes. Shamelessly flirted just to see that annoyed look that made him look so good. He never gave you more than those quiet stares, jaw tight like he was holding something back. Fine by you. You had better things to do than wait around for a man stuck in the 40s. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

Therapy session (Busy woman part 2)

After a chaotic mission, you end up attending a therapy session with bucky trying to mend up your relationship. this seems to have worsen up everything.

[wbellab]

Busy Woman | J. Bucky Barnes

summary: You’ve always had a soft spot for Bucky Barnes. Shamelessly flirted just to see that annoyed look that made him look so good. He never gave you more than those quiet stares, jaw tight like he was holding something back. Fine by you. You had better things to do than wait around for a man stuck in the 40s. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!reader

cw: angst (i love writing that lol), red room widow reader, post endgame, mentally unstable reader, grumpy bucky, flirting, cocky reader, reader has no filter, sexual jokes, implied canon deaths, implied canon violence, several times, no use of y/n

3k words

inspo: busy woman by sabrina carpenter

It started of with occasional flirting. You’ve been told that James, Bucky as people called him, Barnes was an ex assassin, a super soldier with a body count larger than you would’ve suspected, a guy that had the power to literally crush you if you annoyed him too much. But you didn’t care.

You’ve always been too bold and shameless for your own being. Life is too short to worry about details as insignificant as his body count (his death toll—you didn’t care about his past experience with women, or men ?—the more the better…).

This being said, you did not ignore who he was. You obviously acknowledged what he had done before. But hey, you could still appreciate beauty for what it was. Because James Buchanan Barnes was truly a sight for sore eyes. You didn’t know where all this playful flirting started getting more real.

"You look good in black." You mentioned one day gesturing to his gear. You both were paired in a small check up mission, much to your delight and Bucky’s annoyance.

"I always wear black clothes." He huffed.

"Yeah, my point." You smiled.

Men look hot in black, that’s a universal law, so you didn’t think much when you gave that comment. You’ve always been like that, subtly flirting with anyone, giving genuine compliments, sometimes out of the blue. It came naturally, especially with Bucky. What you truly did not expect was seeing his face flushing. It was subtle, but your eyes noticed. And that’s how your one sided flirting with him truly began.

"Something’s off." Bucky muttered, looking at the tracking device in his hands.

"Probably my clothes." It took him a moment to grasp it. But when he did his eyes just widened, and he sighed, used to it already. "You have no sense of humour whatsoever it is alarming." You continued after observing his reaction.

"No because that is straight off the worst pick up line you could come up with. Is this what you call flirting ?"

"You’re so confident that Im flirting with you. That is also alarming."

You were in fact flirting with him, though subtly. But you still kept the upper hand, folding your arms across your chest in a way that was almost childish.

He matched your gesture, folding his arms against his chest, a playful smirk on his face. "Well I hope you’re not because rejecting you now would probably mess with our assignment discharge." It was subtle too. But it was his way of rejecting you, kind of. You didn’t flinch. You wouldn’t take it seriously until he said the words straight to your face.

"Oh…" you pouted, mock-hurt. "I didn’t want your old cranky ass anyway." The lie rolled off your tongue effortlessly. It wasn’t awkward—your smile stayed sharp, teasing, and his matched it. He probably thought you were joking. Maybe you were. "But hey although i’m busy, clothes are always optional if you ever need a favor."

He groaned. Yep, you absolutely loved teasing him.

Something resonated through him one day. It was right after Thanos erased half of the world population. To him the blip felt like just a second but to you, you aged five years. You were apart of the Time Heist mission. You saw your sister sacrifice herself, to save you and the world. And you felt awfully guilty.

Things had drastically changed, when people reappeared. Bucky found himself in a world that was once again moving on while he was freezing with time. But still he got pardoned for his former actions, he started seeing a therapist and right when he thought he would be able to get his life together, Steve left. But you, you were the same old person. Talking to him as if nothing changed, as if you didn’t age five years older while he still looked the same.

You were in his apartment on a random evening—the very same night he returned from a "date" with the girl from the sushi place. Not that he knew you’d stalked him.

When Bucky noticed his door was unlocked, a sinking feeling settled in his chest. He was sure he’d locked it. The key turned too easily. Then he saw you. A sigh left his lips, probably exasperation or relief. Maybe a bit of both. Still he didn’t have the energy to make you leave at that moment.

Great mistake.

"I mean a win is a win, it shrunk our age gap with five years." You shrugged to him when the subject of the blip came into the conversation. It was more you talking and him huffing and listening. Barely listening. "You know I missed you. It was kind of boring without you."

"I bet it was." He huffed. "Look why don’t you just–" he gestured to your figure laying on his couch a bag of crisps, that you stole from his pantry, in your hands. "Stop putting crumbs all around the apartment and just get out now."

"Woah, I see you’re still rude." You mumbled. "I just missed you during those five years you know ? And since all of my friends are either gone or dead I just feel… super, super lonely." You sighed, dramatically. Although it sounded like a joke, you meant everything you said.

Your life truly fell apart when half of the population disappeared, it was already crumbling before but now, it was much more worse. Things were different. If it wasn’t for Nat being with you before, you would’ve probably not made it past your twenties. But now that she died, sacrificing herself, you just felt like you were dying all over again.

"Don’t you feel lonely ?" You asked cutting the silence. He turned to you, a bit surprised by what you asked him. You were staring straight ahead without blinking and that’s when he noticed the flask in your hand.

"You’ve got to be kidding me…" He muttered under his breath, taking the flask away from you. "Have you seriously brought alcohol here ?"

"I told you I felt lonely." You tried to defend yourself, as if it was enough to justify your need to drink alcohol. "But you did not answer me."

He sighed slumping in the couch next to you. He stared at the bottle that he stole from you just seconds ago, and he brought it to his mouth before wincing.

"This thing is disgusting."

"Its just some cheap vodka. I don’t have money." You answered sadly, your eyes not leaving the point you were fixing on the ceiling. You were absolutely wasted, after just one sip. To be fair it was your first time drinking, your system was definitely not used to it, even with all the serum injected in your veins.

"Once you’re sober, you’re getting out of here."

"Why do you badly want me to go mmh ?" You asked turning your head towards him, a frown on your face. You were not about to cry. Yes definitely not in front of him. "I would’ve rather gone to Sam." You say bluntly, the alcohol loosening your thoughts. "But he’s visiting his family and I thought you would maybe appreciate some company."

"Well I clearly don’t so you have your answer now." He said more firmly. "I don’t want your company."

"You don’t want me ?" You pouted, although your face showed a hint of amusement. Your fingers lightly grazed his flesh arm, and Bucky flinched at the contact—until he noticed your gaze shift toward the flask in his left hand. With a reluctant sigh, he offered it to you. But you did not take it. Instead you reached for his metal wrist,guiding him until the rim of the flask touched your lips, forcing him to pour the drink in your mouth. He was too stunned to resist, his eyes widening as he let you. "What ?" You hiccuped, probably from the drinking. "It’s technically you making me drunk now so it gives me a reason to stay longer." You giggled. You genuinely though at that moment that it was the smartest thing you’ve ever done. And that’s something to say because you were an ex spy.

"Fine." He said standing up and pouring the rest of the alcohol in the sink. You quickly got up, trying to follow him. Your walk was wobbly.

"Do you even know how much this cost me ?" You rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to not completely crumble on the ground.

"Have you seen yourself right now ?"

"Do you care for me ?"

"Not even close."

"Okay fine if you don’t want me…" You feigned walking towards the door but before you reached the handle you turned toward him. "I’ll just deem you gay." You giggled so hard you lost your balance.

The sexual undertones were not unnoticed by Bucky and he simply decided to blame the alcohol for your behaviour– although you always acted this way, sober or not. He was empathetic enough to help you off the ground and lead you back to the couch. You arms were around his shoulders as he grabbed you from your waist. When he tried to pull away, you were still gripping him hard.

"I am so lonely James." you murmured, your voice barely audible against his chest. You felt the rapid thrum of his heart beneath your cheek. He must have great stamina, you thought unaware it was racing for an entirely different reason.

"I know me too." He admitted too. Knowing that you wouldn’t remember it the next day.

He left you sleeping on his couch, you were definitely not going back to your house in this state and he should do with it.

Bucky woke up the next morning to an unexpected sound: silence. No burning kitchen, no flooded bathroom. Everything was exactly as he’d left it. For a moment, he wondered if he’d imagined you being there at all—some kind of strange dream brought on by exhaustion and memory.

But then he saw the neatly folded plaid blanket on the couch. You’d been there. You just left before he woke up. No note, no text—just gone. And it was barely 7 a.m.

It’s fine, he told himself. Nothing happened. I asked her to leave.

Still, a faint, unwelcome flicker of disappointment crept in. You could’ve at least thanked him, right?

He did not have time to dwell on it anyway. He had a more important business to attend to.

…

Sam was glaring at Bucky from across the jet. The hum of the engines was the only sound between them, heavy silence stretching thin like thread ready to snap. After deciding to confront Sam about the shield this morning, Bucky found him heading to Munich for an operation and he decided to tag along. That is pretty much how they found themselves in this situation.

"So…who are we fighting ?" Your voice cut through the quinjet, and you appeared from the steering cabin. You wore a headset and a black gear, the one you usually wore when you went on missions.

Bucky’s head snapped toward you, his expression tightening the second his eyes landed on your face. He grumbled something under his breath—he was definitely cursing you. The corner of your mouth tugged upward despite yourself. You always did have that effect on him.

"Did you plan this ?" His question was raised towards Sam.

"Why would I plan this ? You were the one who forced yourself into this plane" Sam retorted, he then turned to you a bit surprised. "What are you doing here ?"

"I happen to be training to become a pilot here and well it also happens to be the exact plane you guys are in so…" you lingered a bit. "I guess we’re working together." You flashed a wide smile.

"We’re absolutely not." Bucky said.

"I did not ask." You shrugged going to sit right next to Sam, which gave you a great sight of Bucky in front of you. This man looks so good when he’s annoyed. "I think Sam would rather work with me than with your little bitch ass anyway."

"Couldn’t have said it better." Sam muttered, and you extended your hand high-fiving him.

"Do you have something with my ass ? ‘Cause you’ve been talking a lot about it lately ."

"Wouldn’t you want to know." You winked at him. You hunched forward, elbows on your knees and hands supporting your face. Without breaking the eye contact. You stayed like this for a full minute.

Bucky felt… off. Unsettled. You were talking to him like nothing had happened—as if just the night before, you hadn’t shown up at his apartment, drunk and messy and vulnerable. As if you hadn’t buried your face in his chest and confessed that you were lonely. As if you hadn’t fallen asleep right there against him.

And now? You were smirking, teasing him like it meant nothing. Like he meant nothing.

Maybe you didn’t remember. Maybe it had been one of those hazy, half-lost nights for you. Or maybe—maybe that kind of moment was just something you could toss aside without blinking.

But for Bucky, it lingered. It was etched into the quiet corners of his mind.

And now you were laughing at him. Flirting like the night hadn’t happened.

He clenched his jaw and broke the eye contact, not trusting himself to speak. Because the truth—the one he hadn’t said out loud—was that it hadn’t been nothing for him.

"Haha you lost !" You cheered, turning to Sam. "See that, I just fixed his staring problem."

Sam caught the brief exchange and couldn’t help the amused grin that spread across his face. This mission wouldn’t be that bad now with you joining them.

"I don’t think you fixed anything. You just made freeky magoo over there very flustered."

Bucky rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Before he could answer anything, Torres appeared from the cockpit.

"One minute till drop off, Sam."

"Y’all did not answer me." You huffed standing up and grabbing an earpiece of you own.

"Flag smashers." Sam briefly answered. "You probably heard of them."

"Thirty seconds !" You heard Torres yell.

"Enjoy your ride Buck." Sam

"Oh no you can’t call me that."

"Why not ? That’s what Steve called you."

"Steve knew me longer and Steve had a plan."

"I have a plan." Sam turned to you. "You coming ?"

"Yep." You got up and Sam extended his hand for you to take. The plane was extremely low so you couldn’t use a chute.

"Fifteen seconds."

Sam gripped your waist.

"Oh yeah, what’s your plan ? Her ?" Bucky called, but Sam ignored him and jumped out of the plane with you in his arms.

"How’s he coming down ?" You asked Sam once you both were in the air flying towards the the outbuilding where your targets were located.

"He’ll manage."

"I had all of that on camera you know that." Sam said from beside you. You were watching Bucky from Redwing’s camera. He was lying on the ground where he fell a few seconds earlier from the plane.

"The whining looks good on you Barnes."

"Get out of my face or you’ll experience what real whining sounds like."

"Kinky." You muttered

"That’s a fucking threat."

The mission had gone sideways—again.

Smoke still lingered in the air, the convoy you were meant to intercept now far gone in the horizon. The intel had been wrong. Again. Too many hostiles, too many surprises, and no backup. Well except for Captain American wannabe and his acolyte.

And somewhere in the brutal fight, Bucky had done what he thought was best.

He had tossed you out of the moving truck.

Literally.

You were still brushing gravel off your jacket as you stormed down the dirt path beside him, your hair wild, your boots stomping with each step. You were limping, pretty sure you had twisted your ankle.

"You threw me off of a fucking truck, Barnes!"

"I saved your life." Bucky snapped, not even looking at you.

Sam trailed just a few steps behind, looking like he was trying not to laugh. Or interfere. Or get involved in the very obvious mess brewing between you two.

You turned on Bucky, not even acknowledging your hobbling stride, walking backward just to glare at him properly. "You couldn’t have just said ‘jump’? But no? You had to manhandle me and yeet me into a ditch like a rag doll?"

"You weren’t listening!" Bucky growled. "You were about to get blown up, and I didn’t have time to argue!"

"So your solution was throwing me out of a moving vehicle?!"

"You’re fine, aren’t you?" he snapped back, finally meeting your glare. "Little bruised ego, that’s all."

Sam finally sighed, raising his hands. "Alright, alright. Can we not kill each other while we’re in the middle of nowhere? I don’t feel like dying because you two decided now was the time to have a full-blown breakup fight—without even dating."

You both turned to glare at him in perfect unison.

Sam just shrugged. "I’m just saying what we’re all thinking."

"She shouldn’t have come." He deadpanned, he wasn’t even addressing to you and this made your blood boil.

Your eyes narrowed dangerously. "You don’t get to decide what I can handle. I’m not some helpless bitch."

"Oh really ?" He let out a dry laugh. "Could’ve fooled me." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

When Bucky stared at your eyes, there was no longer that usual warmth that you always had when you talked to him. Gone was the usual glint of mischief, that effortless warmth you always carried when you tossed a smirk his way or teased him like he didn’t terrify most people. Your gaze now was colder—steeled, unreadable. You weren’t joking anymore.

"Nothing," Bucky gritted out, his hands balled into fists at his sides. "I’m just done cleaning up after someone who treats everything like a joke and never thinks about anyone but herself."

The words hung in the air like a slap. You froze mid-step.

He wasn’t just talking about the mission anymore. You knew it.

You stared at him, stunned for a second, before your voice dropped, sharp and cold. “Say what you really want to say, Barnes. Stop dancing around it.”

He didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at you.

That silence? It cut deeper than his words.

You shook your head with a bitter smile. “Right. That’s what I thought.” You turned and kept walking.

And maybe for the first time, he realized you were genuinely hurt.

part 2

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for sooo long. There will be a part 2 I just need to edit it, although i’m highly contemplating turning this into a fanfic

[wbellab]

he makes me fill THINGS ugh

edit: the typo was not intended but i mean…

Does he always just stare like that?

[wbellab]

Arabella | Sirius Black

summary: Some might say it’s narcissistic of Sirius Black to be obsessed with the female version of himself. But how could he not be? When you held this effortless cool about you, never quite letting Sirius feel like he fully has you. Only making him more obsessed.

pairing: sirius black x you (mentioned female reader)

cw: daydreaming, smoking, fluff

1.4k words

inspo: arabella by arctic monkeys

Sirius layed back on his chair, practicing spinning his quill in his left hand. His eyes lazily scanned the classroom, each time lingering a bit longer when he saw your figure. He smirked to himself, not even pretending that he wasn’t enjoying the view.

You were following the class, writing lazily with a blue stick– something Sirius would probably ask about later– once in a while you would wrap your red lips around the edge of it. So effortlessly charming.

He imagined what it would be to have them on him instead of the plastic stick. How they would leave soft kisses that left galaxy coloured bruises on his skin. Your tongue slowly easing the bites while he held onto your neck…

Your hair would be messily tossed to the side, just like it was at the moment. It would be matching the messy look you had put on. The shirt you would be wearing would be two sizes above yours– your boyfriends’, and it would be messily buttoned so that it looked a bit crinkled. In a good way, Sirius thought. Your tie, lazily tied around your collar with the same black knee high socks you always wore.

Just like you were wearing at the moment.

You were sitting in transfiguration class, next to Lily, frowning when you didn’t understand something.

Sirius thought he would never get bored of the sight of you.

"Mr Black !" McGonagall called sharply snapping him out of his thoughts. "I suggest you behave and pay attention to the class. Godric knows how much you need it."

James sniggered from next to him, and Peter nudged him while hiding a playful smile.

Your attention instantly turned to him.

As much as he should’ve been ashamed or embarrassed, Sirius simply grinned. Because your eyes were finally on him, paying attention to class was now the last thing on his mind.

When everyone started following the class again, you turned your head and you weren’t surprised to see Sirius staring right back at you. He was grinning, of course he would be. And you simply winked at him before turning back to listening to the professor.

"You’re blushing mate." James whispered to him.

"You should definitely stop boring your eyes on her in class if you don’t want to fail transfiguration." Peter mentioned while stuffing his face with pumpkin pastries. "These are heavenly !"

"Have you seen her ?" Sirius groaned rubbing his face with his hands. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as kind on the eyes as her."

"Oh he’s turning into a poet." Peter sniggered, accidentally spilling crumbs from his mouth.

"You should slow down with the pastries wormtail."

"But they are amazing, here try them Moony !" Peter raised his hand to Remus’ mouth trying to shove the pastry in his mouth.

"It’s fine, I don’t really…"

"Hey I want some !" Sirius beamed when he saw you walking toward their side of the table, and he obnoxiously pushed James to the side to give you some space right to him.

"Hey love ! Fancy seeing you here."

"Shove off Black, I’m not here for you I’m here for Pete’s mum’s pastries." You joked, although you sat next to him, and leaned to reach the pastries in front of Peter.

"Oh you wound me now sweetheart." He frowned, exaggerating his expression with a theatrical touch of faux hurt.

"My bad." You took a bite from the cake, giving a low hum of satisfaction. "Merlin, they truly are amazing Peter !" The latest blushed from the attention you were giving him, mentioning how his mum would be delighted to hear this. You turned to Sirius. "Here you should totally taste some."

And without even realising, Sirius mouth opened to let you feed him the rest of the pumpkin pastry.

"Yall I feel like we’re intruding ?" James faked whispered. You ignored him.

"This good ?" You hummed while he swallowed the rest of the cake.

He nodded, a smile on his face showing his dimples.

The chilly air of november was blowing on you as you tightened your faux fur leopard print coat around your body.

You and your friends decided to spend the afternoon in the courtyard near the Black lake after your trip at Hogsmeade.

You wore black lace stockings with black leather boots under your skirt, which didn’t make you immune to the cold. Still, you decided to wear black shades, matching with Marlene.

To Sirius, you were a vision in leather and lace. A beauty not just in the looks but in the way you moved, how you tilted your head when you were listening to Lily or when you were laughing at what Marlene was showing you.

"Hey girls !" James beamed, at the four girls sitting right in front of the Black lake. "Lily flower, I missed you." He sat next to her giving her a small peck to the cheek. Lily’s face turned pink while you faked gagged at this.

"Disgusting." You muttered rolling your eyes playfully. You looked inside your pocket to grab a cigarette from your packet. Once the organic stick was on your hand, you lightened it with a single snap of your fingers.

It had never been a habit of yours, smoking. But you found it to be quite relaxing. The smoke burnt your lungs at first but then quickly you got used to the action of inhaling and exhaling it.

Just as you were taking another drag from the cigarette, you felt an arm settling on your shoulder. You quickly relaxed when you smelled the familiar scent of your boyfriend, leaning your head against his chest.

"Can I have one of those ?" He asked, gesturing to the cigarette around your mouth.

"Nope." You shook your head, watching as he frowned. "You smoke too much, it’s not good for you."

"Says who ?" He gasped and you just rolled your eyes.

"Fine. Take it." You gave him the organic cigarette that was just a second ago in your mouth. He smirked while taking a long drag himself.

"Ew, it tastes just like you." He joked studying the red lip stain on the orange part of it.

"Give it back then." You huffed, playfully nudging him. He tutted while letting the cigarette dangle between your lips. "Come on Sirius, give me some."

"If you insist." He took another drag but instead of exhaling the smoke, he approached his mouth to yours sealing your lips together. Your mouth automatically opened, waiting for his tongue to meet yours but instead he blew the smoke right inside of your lungs. His lips lingered a bit longer on yours, and when he was sure that the smoke was fully in your lungs, he slowly pulled away.

"I… " You looked down exhaling the smoke.

"I’ve never thought I would witness the day you would get all flustered." Sirius chuckled, taking another drag of the cigarette.

"Stop laughing." You deadpanned, stealing the cigarette from his hand and taking a drag from it before stumping the butt on the ground. "You’ll regret it." You got up stretching your stiff limbs. The sun was setting behind you, you caught the light of it in a beautiful golden glow that mesmerised Sirius from under you. He looked like a child staring at a gigantic christmas tree for the first time.

You extended your arms for him to get up. "Come on we have to get ready for the party tonight, the others are already gone."

"We could just stay here. I quite like the view and the company here."

"Sirius Black declining a party request ? Is this the end of the world ?" You fake gasped while hiding your mouth with your hands .

"I just want to stay with you." He grabbed your hand bringing you closer to him. You let him lead you towards him so that you were nearly on your knees between his spread legs on the grass. He slowly kissed your knuckles. "Missing one party won’t ruin my reputation. Let’s stay here."

"It will." You deadpanned. "And still, I do want to go." When you saw he was still not intending to go, you tried something else. "And I’ll even teach you how to play my electric guitar."

His eyes immediately lightened up and he grinned.

"Now this is how you speak to me."

You rolled your eyes seeing his enthusiasm to such a petty thing. He was up in just a second, and helped you standing up from the grass. Sirius was nearly hopping when you both walked towards the castle hand in hand. And he abruptly stopped before reaching the big doors. You looked at him confused when your hands were still tangled together.

"What ?" You saw the smug smile on his lips.

"By the way, did I mention how ethereal you look today ?"

[wbellab]

Song inspired fics

i suggest listening to the song while reading 😁

Wildflower (billie eilish)

james potter

Arabella (AM)

sirius black

Busy Woman (Sabrina Carpenter)

bucky barnes

Obsessed (Mariah Carey)

Mattheo Riddle

coming soon…

15 minutes (Sabrina carpenter)

Bucky Barnes

Me and my husband (Mitski)

Bucky Barnes

[wbellab]

Marauders era masterlist

Regulus black

Cherry flavoured revenge pt2 pt3

y/n and regulus are arranged to be married and it doesn’t go as planed for the latest.

James potter

Wild(Lily)flower

You’ve been there for Lily after her break up with James Potter. Somewhere along the way, he started looking at you differently and you let it.

Sirius Black

Arabella

Some might say it’s narcissistic of Sirius Black to be obsessed with the female version of himself. But how could he not be? When you held this effortless cool about you, never quite letting Sirius feel like he fully has you. Only making him more obsessed.

Multi characters

3,2,1…Cheese !

Since her parents got her a new muggle camera for her birthday, Lily can no longer part with it.

[wbellab]

My masterlist

marauders era

golden trio era

marvel

song inspired fics

Im open to new ideas so feel free to request anything :)

[wbellab]

Wild(Lily)flower | James Potter

summary: You’ve been there for Lily after her break up with James Potter. Somewhere along the way, he started looking at you differently and you let it.

pairing: james potter x reader

cw: angsssst, mention of insecurity, breaking girl code, some fluff, no mention of reader’s gender

1.7k words

inspo: wildflower by billie eilish

The party was the biggest one you’d ever attended since your time at Hogwarts. It was Sirius’ idea. To organise a party with all the former seventh year students from two years ago. It was quite a big success if you could say so yourself. The laughter and chatting were muffled by the loud music playing in the background, and a crowd of dancing people was forming right in the middle of the room.

James’s hand is at the small of your back, guiding you through them. From behind you, you hear Sirius calling his name.

"Hey ! You guys are late." He stumbled nearly spilling the content of his half empty glass of firewhsky. Of course Sirius Black was already drunk.

"We wouldn’t have been if it weren’t for a certain someone." You turned your head playfully glaring at your boyfriend who groaned hiding his face with his hand.

"It’s hard when you look this beautiful." Sirius turned his head towards you and you both bursted into laughter. James face flushed brightly as he realised what he just said. "Not like that… I mean it’s hard to control myself- Whatever you guys are twats."

You simply continued laughing.

"Please love, stop this…" He grumbled embarrassed. You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. You then turned around to take all your surroundings.

"We are actually late because we didn’t think there would be this much people." You said, slightly impressed. "Did you pay them ?" James snorted from next to you, unconsciously squeezing your waist. This made your heart leap from your chest. Even after one year of dating you couldn’t get used to the feeling of his hands against you.

"He truly did pay some people to come here." He commented, making Sirius’ face flush a darker shade

"You guys are haters. All these people are happy to be here. Told you this party would be wicked." Sirius smirked right at you. You rolled your eyes a small smile playing on your lips. "And as much as I love you sweetheart, I’ll have to steal MY bestfriend from you for a while." He winked, walking towards the sofa where Remus was sat smoking and Peter layed there completely blacked out.

James leans towards you. "I’ll bring you something to drink." He then pressed a quick kiss to your temple before following Sirius.

You exhale nervously, smoothing invisible creases from your dress, before raising your head trying to find some familiar faces. And that’s when you see her. Your stomach dropped at the sight.

Lily Evans stands across the room, her beautiful red hair catching the light, a drink held in her hand. And she isn’t looking at James, she is looking right at you.

You’ve spent sleepless nights apprehending to face her again. Somehow your nervous system can’t make the difference between being hit by a centaur and seeing her again. This is worse than you’ve ever imagined.

You tear your gaze away from her, not trying to dwell on what she would be thinking, but it’s too late. The weight in your chest, the one you’ve been carrying since the day James Potter first looked at you like you were something more than just a friend—it presses down, heavy and inescapable.

Because Lily Evans was never just a friend to him.

And because Lily Evans and James Potter were in love before. And Lily was your best friend.

"He is so annoying !" Lily groaned on her pillow as you watched her, an amused smirk on your lips.

"Whatever you say darling. You love it." You smiled when she tossed the pillow right in your face.

She dramatically huffed, still a small smile appearing on her face. "Maybe I do."

And you had smiled because your friend deserved to be loved by someone like James, a boy who could give her what she truly deserves.

"Why don’t you give him a chance Lils ? He’s a nice guy."

"I don’t think I like him that way. But you’re right, maybe I should ?"

There had never been a world where James Potter and Lily Evans weren’t orbiting each other. And the both of them were perfect for each other.

Until they weren’t.

"It’s not working I don’t get it." Lily sobbed that night on your bed. " What is wrong with me ?! He’s just been so perfect to me all this time, just everything I’ve always wanted. And I don’t know why I can’t like him."

"Sometimes things just fall apart. You can’t control your feelings." You whispered, lingering your fingers in her hair.

"I’m awful." She hiccuped.

"No you’re not Lily. It’s alright to feel that way but it’s important to share your feelings with James so you don’t lead him on.

James returned with a glass full of fruit punch. "Figured you’d rather drink this than Firewhisky." He smiled his dimples showing which instantly eased your mind. But you obviously couldn’t fool James Potter. "Something’s wrong ?" A worried frown appeared on his face. He then turned his eyes in the direction you were staring at earlier, noticing a flash of red hair.

"I’m alright don’t worry." You muttered.

"I’m very sorry about that." He sighed. "I love you. I don’t think there would be anything that would change that."

"Yes I know that." You gave him a small smile. "But it’s not that. I just… I crossed a line."

"We both did. But it was a long time ago, I’m sure she’ll understand and she’ll forgive us for that."

You hummed in respond.

You always thought that Lily’s forgiveness was all you ever needed. That after this, you’ll be able to live your life without any guilt. But oh how you were wrong.

The thought of her lingered in the back of your mind.

You were thriving with James, everyone noticed, he was perfect. Yet your mind couldn’t help overthink your situation. You wondered if James felt the same. If deep down, he disapproved of the way you had betrayed Lily and, because of it, had begun to think less of you.

Maybe he saw her through you ? Maybe you were just a reflection of what they had before ? Because truly Lily and you weren’t that different from the other. You have been friends since your First Year, of course you were both more alike in much more aspect than you could think of.

Sometimes in those darkest nights you guiltily wondered if he sometimes compared the both of you. You obviously didn’t ask him and you would never. But these thoughts quickly disappear as fast as they came, you would’ve never wanted to be in competition with her.

You knew that James Potter loved you and this was enough. It should’ve been.

You tried to forget the look your friend gave you when she learnt you were going out with him. She wasn’t mad nor angry. At first she didn’t say anything but her eyes spoke everything for her. Pain. A small frown of confusion on her face.

"How ?" She asked when you met her outside of a quidditch shop in Diagon Alley. James had quickly pecked your lips before going inside, claiming he needed to buy new gloves for training. Horror was etched on your face when you turned and was met with her shocked face. "Why didn’t you tell me ?" Her voice broke, you couldn’t speak.

You felt your knees shake and if it wasn’t for you leaning to the wall they would’ve probably buckled. You hated yourself. You would never forget this moment. Guilt was consuming you, strangling you from the inside, burning you leaving only numb limbs and ashes. You never thought regret could destroy you this much.

And before you could utter a word. Just like that, she was gone. Tears falling freely on your face, the only evidence that confirmed she was there.

You were sat in the balcony staring at the lights of the city down below. You were cold, but you didn’t mind, you liked the numbness it procured. Your fingers tapped on the arm rests on your chair as you hummed a melody. Your eyes were watering, whether from the cold or from the thoughts you were having, you didn’t really know.

"Isn’t she lovely." A voice that you immediately recognised stated from behind you. You turned around to meet the green eyes of Lily. You couldn’t clearly see her face from the darkness outside but you could discern glitters on her eyelids. She looked beautiful. "By Stevie Wonder, right ?"

Your eyes widened when you finally understood what she was referring to. You gave her a small smile nodding. She smiled back then sat in a chair, not far from yours.

"Aren’t you cold ? You used to always hate the cold." She sighed her hot breathe coming out with smoke, while wrapping her arms around herself.

"I needed to breathe a little."

"James was looking for you." She blurted. Oh. You stared across the city, a small frown on your face.

"I-… You know I’m sorry about that. I don’t think there is one day I don’t feel guilty about ruining what we had." Your throat tightened as you confessed, slowly turning your eyes towards her.

She was giving you a small smile and you noticed the tears pooling in her eyes.

"I miss what we had too you know." Hearing her say this was enough for you to completely break down. You let out a low sniffle as you felt the tears falling freely on your face. And dear Lily, pure sweet Lily, who’d been the one getting betrayed was the one comforting you. "You aren’t a better person for feeling guilty you know, just a sadder one." She hummed, her fingers fondling with you hair. "I forgive you. You should also forgive yourself."

"I’m not trying to feel like a better person." You muttered.

She reached for your hand and squeezed it. "I forgive you." She repeated. "Forgive yourself."

And somehow, this was worse than any other thing. Guilt will never stop slowly consuming your mind, because Lily, who never held grudges against anyone, didn’t deserve this. She didn’t deserve a friend who prioritised their own happiness before their friendship. Someone like you.