whatpetesaid-blog

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This is my autobiographical experience with wave 2 of the Vintage Black Series set by Hasbro.

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My new strip. If you like it, share it!

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So this happened.....

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Skillful Trap Check

*Rogue checks for traps* : Rolls a 1

Adds her bonuses: "Did I find anything?"

*misses the DC by a lot*

Me: "You are confidant there are no traps."

Rogue to party: "We're good, guys. No traps."

Cleric walks through first, sets off the traps and releases a fireball.

Scorched Wizard to me, the GM, mourning over the dead cleric: "I thought you said no traps?"

Me: "You can still be confident you did a good job even though you actually failed. Especially if you failed by A LOT."

Rogue: "Oops. We brought healing potions right?"

Wizard: " The cleric had them."

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+2 Prince Albert Ring of Charming

I remember having a third party gaming book of erotica.

It had feats, magic items, spells and prestige classes all based around sex. There were even advanced rules for sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

It was a pretty awesome book actually. This was made for 3rd Edition. I would love a new book for 5e like this.

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So if you follow me, I'll follow right back.

*accounts that are sexually explicit or are about promoting follows will not be followed.

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"No Negotiations Allowed"

That was the sign posted in every shop of a game I ran because the bard's Persuade skill was so ramped up that on a 1 he could still sell life insurance to a Lich.

All the shops in the city and eventually across the entire countryside learned about his prowess and began posting signs preventing any negotiations over prices.

It was both funny and practical.

No worries, he still broke the game and at the end of the story he literally nuked everything. Not an exaggeration. But that is a story for another day!

(follow me for stories and gaming ideas)

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Memorable Moments

part 2

Dwarves dislike being thrown, tossed, or generally manhandled. They do, however enjoy being heroic, particularly when they're flamboyant followers of Lathander.

We were fighting a dragon, and my paladin refused to ever use ranged weapons. "Weapons of cowards," he would say. "If'n ye can't see ye're enemy eye t'eye, ye shouldn't be fightin'."

This, of course sometimes made it difficult for him when the enemy can only be fought ranged when something like a dragon is flying the entire combat.

So I scaled up a cliff face about 60 feet. Then, as it got near, I jumped onto the dragon's back to hack away at him........

Or I would have if my die hadn't failed me. I missed the difficulty by one...ONE! and proceeded to fall - in my full plate armor - 60 feet.

I spent the rest of the combat tending to my wounds and generally saying "Ow" a lot and cursing in Elvish because it's obviously the most foul language a dwarf knows.

Not the most heroic moment, but very memorable!

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Alternative Professions

(This is my second time writing this, let's hope the internet doesn't eat this one. ( <-- worse than "the dog ate my homework" excuse.))

Sick of your players playing the same classes all the time and they're resistant to changing it? Try having them create alternative professions based on the class.

Some examples below.....

The rogue is actually a Rogue Librarian. She wants to open her own library and steals first editions everywhere she goes. This alone is a great catalyst for so much trouble...er...adventures.

The fighter is an ex military officer with PTSD. Now when there is armed conflict, he will only use non-lethal damage and prefers to find non-lethal resolutions over fighting.

The cleric/paladin is an evangist with no real healing abilities but makes everyone believe he can heal them...for a tithing. He opens orphanages at a profit and lives lavishly.

The barbarian is a politician who enters fits of rage when things don't go his way.

The ranger only tends to city parks and knows nothing about the forest. (think Parks And Rec)

The wizard/sorcerer is a birthday party clown.

The bard is a producer and cannot actually perform. He is, however, very good at contracts and manages other bards and takes a cut of their profits.

You get the idea. Have fun with it!

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This locally made dice bag has 6 pockets and an area for rolling them or for mass storage in the middle. Pretty freaking sweet!

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This is the best eye have seen in a long while.

“People come for the answers, but they never come for the eye.”

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Memorable Moments

Part 1

Every player has moments they love to tell and retell. I have played innumerable games, and just as many characters. While I have kept dozens of these characters, there are several that gave me the best gaming memories.

This is part one, of many, sharing favorite moments from my games:

I had a gold dwarf paladin once. This was during early 3rd ed. The GM wanted me to play something other than a bard which used to be my go-to class. So I went out of the norm, and chose a gold dwarf paladin which she contested because she was an old 2nd Ed player which stated that dwarfs couldn't be a paladin. She said she would let me, but if I strayed I would have to change characters.

Well, frankly I played the shit out of him.

He was a follower of Lathander, the Morning Lord. So my beard was dyed a brilliant sunburst with gems woven in to reflect the sun. My platemail was a wonderful array of yellows, oranges, and reds. The colors of the sunrise. (What stealth?)

When we got to a new town, I needed to clean up. So I always treated myself and the two female barbarians in the party to a local elven spa.

One time, my character stood naked in front of a full body mirror:

*posing, looking at his physique in a profile, proudly* "Yes!"

*He turns to look at the opposite profile, again, proudly* "Yyyees!"

*This time, full frontal. Very proudly* "Yesss!"

An elf bring him towels and is assaulted by the vision of a hirsute naked dwarf. The dwarf turns around and shows off his physique. "YYeEEESS!!!"

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What's Your Name?

Naming NPCs can be difficult sometimes.

I sometimes like to let the players name them especially if no one cares who the NPC is really.

Last night there was a mini scene where the players needed to get a room an inn. They asked the innkeep his name. He replied, "Well, I don't rightly know, the GM never gave me one."

A player yelled out "George!"

"Ah, yes. My name is George."

And that's how babies are made!

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For GMs....

A fun idea for a mini-campaign you could run as an ongoing or even a one-shot. I ran this for a couple different gaming groups as a one-shot and it was well received.

.....................

Players can be any class they want, but instead of a player/monster race, they can only play as a farm animal or an animal that can be found nearby a farm. (Being that I am from New Hampshire, USA, I limited my groups to animals found near a North American farm, so no monkeys, or rhinos, etc.)

They can chose from spiders, snakes, bunnies, dogs, horses, mule, cow, etc.

Players start as a level 2 character and use the animal stats only. No rolling. They get all abilities for the creature they choose. So a player that chooses a spider has the abilities to walk on walls and spin webs. After determining their class, they get 8 points on a one-for-one basis to distribute between their stats. So a 2 intelligence can have 4 points dumped into it to become a 6 intelligence, and so forth.

Afterward, they all get a 2 item in their prime stat. It could be a collar, or a ring, a tiara, whatever.

Material components for spells may be ignored, but somatic and verbal components are not. Everyone can speak Animal Common. They may choose Man Common as one of their bonus languages if they have one. Weapons have normal stats, but are designed in size for their "race". They have to wield their weapons as a creature of their type would, so a barbarian dog would have a large stick as a club held in their mouth.

Background:

A famous wizard has retired by misses his old adventuring days. He had since retired and bought a farm. Bored, he bred the creatures on the farm to be intelligent. Gifting them with intelligence and artifacts, he has trained them each in a style fitting their personalities. Recently, he has gone missing, presumably to go on another adventure with his halfling and dwarf friends of old.

The animals eventually left on their own and now seek their own adventures. Maybe even searching for the wizard in his grey (or were they white?) robes.

Adventure hooks:

* There is an animal fighting pit that they have to break up.

* There is a vampire (bat) on the loose nearby.

* There is an island of misfit animal companions and familiars causing trouble.

* A wizard in training has kidnapped one of the players to be his new familiar.