yrs-flora

[yrs-flora]

today I am thankful for: •B + how he accepts me for who I am •yoga •my mom •my brothers •that I'm allowed to study •sun •green tea •Megan •sunset [the one in the picture]

[yrs-flora]

June 1st ~

it’s another month, my favorite. it’s my birthday month duh. but this year it’s gonna even more. lately I’ve been spending a lot of time in our garden. mostly studying, but i make time to practice yoga. i cannot tell you how different your yoga practice can be when you’re surrounded by mother nature, instead of the four walls of your room. SO MUCH BETTER. i’ve also noticed how different i feel. i feel at peace, in the moment. as i watch the bugs, the trees, i realize they don’t rush anywhere, so i slow down as well. it feels incredible. :) it’s so helpful with my anxiety...

i took this picture this afternoon. it’s one of my favorite mugs. as i was studying, i looked down at it and felt happy.

this june will be so different than the others. i’ll go back to the states (i cant believe i’m typing this..) and i’ll work at a camp. i feel so nervous, yet excited. i’m scared, yet i cannot wait for Saturday to come. i don’t know what to expect. but i am ready. i’ve been longing for a change, and it’s here. 

i’ve also decided that this month will be about self-love. it’s my birthday month, i’m turning 21, so i guess it’s time for me to show myself some lovingness. this month will be about being present. not figuring out myself, because that will come with self-love. i’ll just let things happen. because of my work, i won’t spend so much time online, which is good. i need it.

i hope this month will be everything you’ve dreamed about. be open, love a lot, and stay in the moment. everything else will take care of itself.

namaste!

[yrs-flora]

we're always so busy complaining about our lives. to our friends, on social media, anywhere. which is good, because we gotta let it out. anger, sadness..etc. that we keep inside, only will destroy us. but we gotta take care of each other. I'm having insomnia right now, plus because finals are coming up I'm really stressed. my mind is full of problems, ideas, and solution, I can barely breath. so obviously I turned to social media. I stalked the "namaste" hashtag on instagram and I came across this picture. it made my heart warm. we often think that we can only function properly or only be successful if we're perfect. boy, we are wrong! during our lives we get a lot of scars. some might be physical that eventually disappear (or not), and we also have emotional scars that other probably don't see only after they've gotten to know us. these scars actually make us a better person. they change us into someone whom we're capable of becoming. even if today it might seem that life's worthless, that you are worthless because you're a little broken inside, remember that you're okay just the way you are. that YOU ARE capable of achieving so much! I recently saw this quote here on tumblr, that you should find an art (be a Van Gogh picture or a Debussy piece of music) and you should fall in love with it. the you should remember that the people who created that art are the same human being as you. no less, no more. I felt this so reassuring. YOU ARE enough. I want you to say these words out lout: I AM ENOUGH. I AM CAPABLE OF GREAT THINGS. because, my darling, you are. if no one has told you this today, I will. and you should too. then find someone who might need it, and pay it forward. please don't believe that just because you're broken, you're not worth it. think of a crayon when you were little. even though you might have accidentally broken it, or it fell down and broke, you could still finish your drawing. don't let today's sadness keep from tomorrow's happiness. find it in you, because you can. find it, then spread it. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. (never. ever. there are so many that care, including me. remember this all the time) YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. (you're a beautiful flower that will be even more beautiful after a little rain) have a wonderful day wherever you might be :)

[yrs-flora]

any #sociology majors out there? can u tell me a few things about your major? what it is like? what kind of classes you have? I'm planning to change my major to sociology, but I'd love hear some opinions:)!! thanks a lot!!!

[yrs-flora]

(50) shades of grey

I’m getting closer to the end of my freshman year at the uni. I’ve learned a lot, a not only the academic stuff, but about the world. Which is kind of weird, because you don’t really expect it. At least I didn’t.

The title is kind of misleading. Hah. I’m not gonna talk about sex. Or the movie. Not even the book. Sorry, folks!

I have recently finished the book called “The Children of the Movement” by John Blake. It’s about the kids of the people who - in different ways - were involved in the civil rights movement in the ‘50s, ‘60s. Such an interesting book, I recommend it to everyone! I started it, because I have a thing for the civil rights movement. I find it fascinating, and horrific at the same time. I’m amazed by the bravery of all those young and old people who were willing to give their life for a cause. I don’t even know if I’d be capable of such things...

The book also includes the children George Wallace for example. The men who would have done anything to stop the movement from achieving anything. Most of their children told the author that their dads weren’t racist, they weren’t bad people. It was interesting to read from their point of view. This is when I started to feel that the world is not just black and white. It’s a million shades of grey. There’s no good that’s entirely good, nor is there bad, that’s entirely bad. We are all greys. Some of us are just closer to one side than the other.

University also gave me the same feeling. I’m taking an ancient Rome lecture. I love my professor who not only talks about Rome, but he also mentions some moderns events. He always tells us to have our own opinion on things. Just because we read something, somewhere doesn’t mean it’s true. It’s kind of neat, yet scary.

It’s scary, cause how do I know it something is really good? But I guess, you just have to find the ones that are more good, than bad.

University is also a sign that I’m growing up. That soon I’ll be living by myself, and I’ll have a job. Become an adult. Geez... now that’s one scary thought there! But I wanna do it. I’m definitely not ready for all that adult stuff, but who is? If we keep waiting for us to be ready, then we miss out all the fun. So we all just should let life happen, ya know? Try to let everything happen the way it should, because there’s some greatness in every bad, and there’s some bad in every good.

But still, millions of thoughts are running through my mind constantly:  How do I know if something is good? How do I find someone who’s not there to fool me? How do I find a cause that I can give up my life? How do I know that what I do is good?

[yrs-flora]

“The Nazis didn’t just kill the Jews; they made use of every inch of them. Women’s hair was shaved off and weaved into blankets for Nazi soldiers. Fat from Jews’ bodies was used to make soap. Gold teeth were pulled out to make gold bars for the Reichsbank. 384,000 pairs of men’s shoes were sent to Germany from Auschwitz. 646,000 men’s suits. 184,000 pairs of eyeglasses. The most frightening thing is not the gas chambers or the crematoria. It’s the rooms piled to the ceiling with children’s shoes. That gives you have an idea what the Holocaust was. Shoes. Once worn by real people.” - via jewishhistory.org

[yrs-flora]

“Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive.“

[yrs-flora]

focused freewriting - studying at a university

I practiced focused freewriting for my class earlier this week and I just wanted to share this piece with you guys to remind you that a grade doesn’t define who you are.

focused freewriting is a way to collect ideas for a topic that you have to write a paper on. you continuously have to write for 10 min. here you go:

Studying at a university is hard because there is so much expectation. you have to read lots of books for one class if you want to pass. but sometimes even if you study the HELL out of a subject, you still get an average grade. moments like this have to remind you that your life is not defined by these grades. all you have to do is study hard, be open and last but not least do what you love. if you do what you love, eventually you’ll get better and people will appreciate it. people – or even you – won’t even remember how you did in certain classes anyways. what matters is that you did YOUR BES. it might be THE best, or certain teachers might have a different & weird grading system, but they can’t take away your knowledge. you have it within you forever. you have to learn this, sooner or later, you have to learn that sometimes studying hard for a class will not be enough. you have to make connections. you have to be open and be in a good relationship with people because we live in a world where if you have better connections or better relationship with someone you, it’ll get you further than having the knowledge. your motto for the university should be: “a grade does not define me.” people who didn’t go to class and studied less will get better grades. and it fucking hurts. but that’s real life. that’s what you have to prepare for. so don’t cry, don’t be sad. study as hard as you can & life will reward you with something good. I promise.

[yrs-flora]

2015 will be a selfish year. My time and focus will be invested on me. On improving myself. I want to become a better person physically and mentally. I want to let go of my fears and learn to love myself.

yayhaz (via exoticwild)

[yrs-flora]

twenty-fifteen we tend to think that turning around our lives is easier when we enter a new year, move to a new house, get a new haircut, clothes.. so on. but the truth is, they're not easier. they're hard. I could make a resolution that this year I'll get rid off my social anxiety completely, but I know this is not how it works. rather I'll make a resolution that I'll make the tiny first steps toward creating the person I am meant to be. here's to the new year where we focus on being alive. giving 110% to the work we do, the love we love; no matter what we do, what we say or how we feel, we give everything we can. we live our lives to the fullest even when it's hard, because believe it or not those tough times inspire us to go above and beyond. here's to US kicking the ass of the new year! namaste my friends

[yrs-flora]

merry christmas from me to you -- I fall in love more and more with the Vampire Weekend, because their music is awesome, but also because they are all smartypants. (graduated from Columbia University!!!)

Ezra Koenig (lead singer) majored in English - I'm also an English major - and he had Hungarian ancestors. ha, perfect!!!!

[yrs-flora]

!!!

Lets not act like this is something that has never happened.. As someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum (overweight and underweight) I can assure you all that it hurts equally to be shamed for either. ALSO if overweight people could stop trying to invalidate the self-consciousness that skinny people still go through to this day that’d be great. Everyone has things about themselves that they don’t like. It is possible for a skinny person to not feel good about themselves due to their weight. Stop trying to make it seem like skinny people should be happy just because they are skinny. It was not always that way, there is a such thing as skinny shaming, and I’m tired of seeing people try to invalidate my skinny-friends feelings. 

Large people can be self conscious, skinny people can be self conscious. Everyone can be self conscious. 

[yrs-flora]

I came across this video on my facebook feed a couple days earlier. I usually don't really pay attention to buzzfeed videos, but the title of this one got me. "11 struggles skinny girls know too well". immediately, when the video started, I started saying in my head "yep, I do this." "yeah, that hurts."

I'm both glad and sad to see video or posts like this one. I'm glad because I know that I'm not alone with this. I know that it's right for me to feel hurt when people say things like "why do you work out? you're already super skinny." , because IT IS wrong for them so say things like that. But I'm sad because this is an issue. skinny shaming is an issue.

and before I go on, I'd just like to say that I also think that fat shaming is wrong. I'm not saying, and never have, that it's easier for curvy people or it's okay for anyone to make fun of them. it's not. I also understand that skinny shaming and fat shaming are NOT the same thing. skinny is still considered "normal".

I just wish people realized how much their small comments can hurt. a lot of times we don't realize that words are power tools in our lives. the reason I started to hate my body was because of these words. I didn't have any problem with my body in kindergarten, but as soon as I started school and my classmates made fun of my weight, of how skinny I was, I started to think that my body must be wrong. there must be something wrong with me. it took me years to finally realize that and I'm still just on the way to fully accept my body. with bones, with everything.

so please, if you've read this short post about how painful comments can be, next time you're talking to a skinny person - naturally or because of an eating habit - re-consider what and how you say it. just like you don't go up to your curvy friend and say "hey, you're already fat, so you really should stop eating.", you don't go up to your skinny friend and say "hey, you're way too skinny, start eating"

shaming one's body is wrong. let's change society, by changing our point of views first. everybody is beautiful.

[yrs-flora]

watching videos like this makes me realize how small we really are.., how our life is basically nothing to the universe, and how incredible lucky we are to be a part of something special like this. yet, we matter, you matter and our lives matter, because we can destroy something so beautiful like our earth. but we can also save it, if we get together and take really good care of it. 

earth you are wonderful!

[yrs-flora]

things I like about myself

•woke up early to go for a run and do yoga •wasn't afraid to talk to my professor to let me leave the class earlier •didn't skip my lecture at 4 pm •actually studied when I got home •didn't eat fast food •didn't skip my lecture at 10 am either (but I wish I had...)

[yrs-flora]

Things I like about myself - 10.1 edition

ITS OCTOBER YOU GUYS 🍂🍂🌳🌰🍃 •went to the mentor interview •didn't procrastinate & finished everything

[yrs-flora]

Things I like about myself - 9.28 edition

•had the courage to go a freshman program all day yesterday •didn't let anxiety get me •being able to be open •making friends •finally choosing family over being alone •hiking •finally thinking less and less about him