#a lesson to my future self

[mindofserenity]

يجب على المرء أن يكون دائمًا على دراية بكل خطوة يتخذونها في رحلة الحياة هذه

One must always be soulfully aware for every step they take in this journey we call, life.

— mindofserenity

[maream2636]

2025.30.5

I tried to wake up early—I did wake up, took a shower, but didn’t study and went back to sleep. Why? Honestly, I don’t know. When I woke up again, it was around noon, but I didn’t feel pressure or stress. I actually felt better than yesterday.

Suddenly, I asked my mother a question—I don’t even know where it came from:

"When I was little, what did you expect me to be when I grew up? A university figure? A public personality?"

She paused for a moment and started to gather her thoughts:

"I never expected you to be a doctor or engineer. I imagined something more spiritual. You used to listen to your father attentively when he talked about the origins of things—not religion in the literal sense, but something more spiritual... like a scholar of religion or society."

I was surprised by her answer, but when I thought about it more—it made sense. I am still interested in these topics. What has made the world look the way it does now? What shaped people’s characters and values?

Of course! Here is the English version of the revised paragraph

As for my personality, she said that when I was little, I was energetic, full of life, and stubborn in my own way—but I was never sluggish or quiet. I had a clear spark in me, and I was determined when I wanted something. But over time, those traits began to shift. The energy faded, the stubbornness turned inward, becoming a kind of resistance toward myself. She said I became more self-centered at times, and that I went through a phase where I viewed the world through a dark, deeply negative lens—almost like depression. She admitted she didn’t quite understand what had happened to change me so drastically, especially since, in her eyes, my childhood was beautiful.

She said, “You’re my eldest daughter.”

And in that moment, I felt a wave of disappointment. Beautiful, really? Maybe it’s just easier for her to believe that than to face the truth she doesn’t want to see.

She added, "Our expectations as mothers are based on our love, not your reality." Just like she hoped my sister would become a famous artist or a top engineer—but she passed away at the end of last year, which broke all our hearts.

Now I understand what she meant.

Life is strange—harsh sometimes. But we must live it for the sake of the people we love.

One day, when I settle in Italy in the future, I want to open something in my sister’s name—as a tribute to her. Because what hurts the most is how few people knew her. The world lost an ambitious and kind person…

I saw a video about Spain where the electricity was cut off for ten hours, and how happy people were when it came back. That simple thing made me feel joy. I wish I was there

So.. :

I have to complete the pituitary gland

and its questions.

[patchyourbrokenwings]

something i'm learning in therapy and trying to accept is that i'll always be a trauma patient, i'll always have that ptsd background. but that doesn't mean i AM the trauma, it doesn't have to mean i can't learn to live with the aftermath of a very traumatic upbringing. i've been emotionally neglected, neglected of everything a child needs, and hurt in ways i still don't understand. but i can learn to understand and i can master the art of not letting my past define my present. i can eventually have a better and more comfortable life. it is not impossible.

[throughpatchesofviolet]

Revisited Lobotomy Corporation, and now I'm crying.

[jessisoncleek]

It's time to go out side of the books

Collecting knowledges' phase is over

PRACTICE in real life!

Move on from him

You can do Jess

Gut

‼

[magical-hermaphrodite]

To whom it may concern…

Manifesto: 0

For those of us who came out a considerable time ago and those who came out before that, the implication and reality of being hurt for who we are never and couldn’t deter us. Because we found the thought of not living authentically to be much worse; to be akin to having not lived at all.

Life comes with guarantees; we will be hurt along the way some more than others and the sleep of death will not be refused. Rather I have found as have others; life is meaningful because it has an end.

Those of us who came out, stepped forward, and live authentically have considered this. We have considered the gift it is to live. And we have considered what we wish our lives to mean; that is to say we have considered how we’d choose to greet death which is the factor that makes life significant.

For those who came out before me and you? They showed me and you that it is possible for us to live. If we so dare. You see it is possible? Possible to say I am what I am and to live that. In fact I must because I see no other desirable way.

You have come out; stepped forward at a certain time. And now you live. And now you must consider what will this mean? What will your example be to our coming generations? Will you be one that runs away? Will you be one that hides in the face of adversity? Will you be one who dares?

Consider your life carefully my friends. Because it will have meaning.

[sunforgrace]

having fresh off the angel lobotomy line factory settings recently heaven reconditioned cas pull up to the scene post love confession and immediate death would be a prime Put That Guy in a Situation. truly a pear wiggler scenario deeply, deeply nightmarish for them both. and for that reason i would like to see it

[em-dashes]

now facing the very real possibility that suddence may not be uploaded onto kobo and hoopla by the release date (april 27th), let alone for preorder ��

just letting yall know that the official ebook and paperback release may be delayed by an indefinite amount of time until i'm Absolutely Sure everything is uploaded

[violet-ave]

[gloryundimmed]

Me, having energy to do rp stuff: ok I’m just gonna get my homework done and then do some replies!

Me, after homework: fucking hell I am exhausted 😭

[ungiorno-nellavita]

A Heartfelt Letter to My Future Self

Daily writing promptWrite a letter to your 100-year-old self.View all responses Dear 100-Year-Old Me,A hundred years. I can’t even begin to imagine what life looks like for you now. Are we still here? Still standing, still breathing, still us? I hope so. I hope life has been kind to you, but I know it probably wasn’t always easy.I don’t know where you are right now—what’s changed, what’s stayed…

[self-motivationmedia]

Instagram

[my-autistic-self]

The "R" word

I never liked that word. The word “Retardation” is used in one of those medical books for Intellectual Disability, then short it as a phrase or some sort. It may have seemed fine for a while, but if say it to or around someone who is a complete definition of that word can be a very hurtful thing. Before, I didn’t notice the word; mainly, I didn’t hear it as much or I didn’t pay attention at all.…

[felassan]

David Gaider: "If I really dig into my empathy, I can kinda see the thinking here. Like, let's say you don't actually know much about games. You're in a big office with a bunch of other execs who also don't know much about games. What are they all saying? "Live games do big numbers!" "Action games are hot!" Your natural response? "We should make more action games, and all our games should have live service!" Cha-ching, right? Then some uppity devs spoil your buzz by saying "that doesn't apply equally to all games" or "we have an established IP with an audience that has certain expectations". You frown. You go look at their sales. Good, sure, but not as spectacular as live service and action games! Profit's great, but what's the point if you're not #1 in the charts? If you're not making headlines? If the devs can't make it work, this is THEIR failure. This, after all, is the future of gaming! Eventually, you're going to ask yourself why we (the company) even bother with those other games. Like single player games. It's a question you've asked aloud before. The fans bristle, but you're not here to supply every audience what they want. You're here to make money and increase share value. Maybe I'm being unkind. There are certainly all sorts of lessons a company could learn from a game like Veilguard (I still haven't played it, so I'm going off what other people have said), but "maybe it should have been live service" being the takeaway seems a bit short-sighted and self-serving. Not that there's any shortage of that, when it comes to deciding why a game doesn't do well. For the anti-woke crowd, for instance, there are woke games that do well and woke games that do poorly and only the ones that did poorly did so *because* they were woke. Says more about them than the game. My advice to EA (not that they care): you have an IP that a lot of people love. Deeply. At its height, it sold well enough to make you happy, right? Look at what it did best at the point where it sold the most. Follow Larian's lead and double down on that. The audience is still there. And waiting. ❤️" [source thread]

--

User: "Maybe they can sell the IP to Larian. Or someone else who would treat it respectfully." David Gaider: "I suspect Larian is, smartly, done with working on third-party IP. You do all that work, and the IP overlords do little more than dictate the minutiae and make your life difficult and then you have to cut them a huge slice of the proceeds too? Not a lot of studios are going to bite THAT hook. [source] I know you said SELL the IP, but there's no way EA will relinquish its hold on an IP that could potentially do big numbers. In their ideal world, a studio takes it on, does all the work, and they rake in the cash. Giving up that kind of potential would require BIG money... and who would buy it?" [source]

[comicaurora]

So uhh. If you feel like talking about it. As someone who lives in the US, how are you being kind to yourself on this upsetting morning <3

Checked in with my loved ones first and foremost.

It's interesting. The vibe I've been getting from my circle is very different from 2016. Much less… dread and horror at a realignment of the understanding of what can and can't happen here, now, in this place and day and age. More "fuck, guys. again? whatever. enjoy your consequences, maybe you'll manage to learn something this time."

Frustration and anger is not the most positive feeling, or even the most fair one to express, but it is a protective one. It hurts a lot less than most alternatives.

And it's quite a shift. It was earthshattering back then. How could this have been allowed to happen? Why couldn't it be stopped? Why couldn't we stop it? Why couldn't I stop it? Why couldn't everyone see what this meant? Why couldn't I make them understand? Did they really not care? What did that mean about humanity as a whole? Were we so thoughtless? How could anyone be trusted?

It seems… much less earthshattering to see it happen twice. Disappointing, sure. Frustrating. But nowhere near as devastating as the first time I saw it unfold. We already knew it could happen. I've already had time to digest the implications. Now I'm just freshly disappointed.

It also feels less indicative of Crushing Truths Of Reality this time. We've seen shit get bad. We've also seen shit get better from here! We know both outcomes are possible, even inevitable. We know hoping for a better future is always worthwhile. This isn't the apocalypse. It's an unremarkably bad turn of events brought on by unremarkably self-centered well-documented human impulses. It's utterly mundane in its unpleasantness. It doesn't need to be dignified with despair.

A democratic election, no matter the outcome or the side we're on, makes us all acutely aware of how outnumbered we are by people whose worldviews and priorities are demonstrably incomprehensible to us. And the first time you get outnumbered, it's a shock. Defeat is haunting. It didn't matter how badly you wanted it; by the very function of democracy, you do not have the power to override greater numbers. (insert electoral college caveat here)

The second time through, I find myself focusing on a different facet that has dramatically reduced the amount of spiralling I'm doing. I don't expect this to work for everyone, but for me specifically, it helped to crystallize a few thoughts:

You don't have the power to control anyone else. You don't. You can't share your worldview and your revelations with them. You can't make them think or understand anything. You can lay it all out for them, but you can't make them listen, and you can't make it click. A mentor can't make their student learn a lesson; that's why teaching is so complicated and hard. An active choice must be made by the person to enable themselves to understand, and they must put the pieces together in their own mind before it makes sense to them, and the pieces must have been presented in a way that makes sense to them in the first place. Lead a horse to water, can't make them drink.

These elections highlight a disconnect in what different groups of people care about; and no matter how clearly you explain yourself or how passionately you perform, caring cannot be forced on someone. Understanding and connection cannot be forced. You cannot make anything or anyone matter to someone. They have to choose to see how it matters in order to internalize it. If they choose not to, that is not your failing. You couldn't have made them do it by just Explaining Better. They are not your responsibility. They make their own choices. You can't reach inside their head and connect the dots for them.

I'm a storyteller. I make stories and put them out into the world. I hope people get something good out of them, but I have no control over what that something is. I want people to be thoughtful and kind and compassionate and hopeful and see themselves reflected in stranges, no matter their differences. I can craft stories that I hope encourage this. But that is the extent of my ability and the extent of my responsibility. I control no-one's actions but my own, and so while I am not having the best day, I am at least content that I am doing what I can, and I am not shattering myself against impossibilities trying to control the things I can't.

Sometimes, people make decisions that I think are really bad. I can't make that not happen. All I can do is try to make decisions that will result in things I think are good. Today, that means checking in on people, and not assigning too much dramatic narrative weight to an ultimately mundane set of unremarkable bad decisions outside of my control. We'll take life as it comes and help each other out when and how we can. Everything else is out of our hands.

[sxorpiomooon]

What does your 30 year old self wants to say to you?

Paid readings

masterlist

buy me a coffee

Pile 1-

This is the third time that I'm writing for this pile, the first two times Tumblr glitched and removed everything. You guys will be the first in your family to do or achieve something big. 

One of the biggest lesson that you might have to learn in this life is to always be prepared of letting things go and start anew, from a clean slate. Some of you are stuck in a toxic relationship or connection that you realise that you have to let go off but just cannot seem to do so. Your thirty year old self is telling you that you need to learn to ask for help when needed. There are people I keep hearing adults around you that can help you out only if you let them. For some reason I keep having visions of Hayley and Claire from modern family? Yk how in real life how the actress who plays claire helped out hayley to get out of an abusive relationship? It's like that I feel. Scott street keeps on playing in my head. Be impulsive and be defensive perhaps you need to let your anger take over you to remind yourself of who you truly are. My pile one please do ask for help when needed. For the rest of you, your thirty year old self is telling you that in order to bring in the new good stuff you need to first make space for it by removing all the bad stuff that is no longer serving you. Be brave you need to reminded of who you truly are and no one else can do it better than someone near you who truly loves you.

Pile 2-

Learn how to balance and prioritise because the moment you learn these skills you will be able to survive anywhere in any condition. "You are not wasting time but opportunities" don't let opportunities pass you by because you feel as if it's not the right time or you don't have enough time because there is no such thing as having enough time or there being a right time. Time is only right when you make it so. I keep having visions of pink pilates aesthetic yall need to learn a skill that will keep you grounded be it yoga or pilates anything that will help you in keeping yourself grounded. You have to learn how to chill I keep feeling as if this is my workoholic pile. Some of you might even feel as if you are doing nothing in your life and fear that it will remain like this only however let me assure you that is not the case. I see you will be very very booked and busy in the future. I feel like that is also what your future self is telling you? That you have time now so do enjoy like don't waste it sitting in front of a screen stressed out. You have enough time now because you won't in the future, make full use of it.

Pile 3-

That's crazy the first thing that came to my mind even before I pulled the cards was "slow and steady wins the race" and I'm seeing the colour teal and peacock green alot. When I pulled the cards I feel as if this is directly being channeled from your future self to you as in this is actually your future self going "what I'd like to say to her blahblah" and that's what I'm channeling for you. I think you are sitting in front of a shop or a restaurant idk that's white and it's late night and it's windy you are wearing black you kinda look like that sister from the new YOU season? Anyways yes and I see a diamond somewhere maybe it's a bracelet or a necklace one of these and this is a question that your friend has asked you. The overall energy feels very very grateful and nostalgic. Your future self is speaking in a very grateful and nostalgic manner I heard bulgari? Anyways, they want you to be careless and very action oriented I heard "inaction is also an action" and "might as well just do it" they want you to go on alot of trips and basically say yes to adventures. I feel like this pile might not have much fun and might just try to stay in their comfort zone. The kind to decide to study instead of going out and partying and your future self wants you to know that you can do both. Party on you by charli xcx started playing. They also want you to spend your money and work hard I feel like they just want you to let lose and feel free for once. That everything will be ok and working hard doesn't mean that you have to devoid yourself of fun. You can have fun and still work hard. Man I feel like crying this feels so personal I feel like this pile will also be very defensive to my claim and say that oh they cannot afford to have fun etc etc but I think you can, every once in a while no matter the circumstances and this is not me saying this but you only so think about it

Pile 4

There are going to be alot of people who wouldn't want you to succeed, there will be alot of gossip and alot of betrayal but none of that is going to stop you from achieving what you have been working hard to get. The answer is pretty straightforward with this one honestly alot of relatives and friends around you will plot against you and throw dirt on your name but none of them will stand a chance against you. Alot will come, alot will go but only you will remain. You do not have to defend yourself verbally every time just focus on working hard. You'll see how as the time passes all of them will fall on their own and instead of you all the other people will be defending your name and honour. I heard aries and scorpio. Long short story by Taylor Swift pay attention to the lyrics. Do not indulge in petty gossip or with petty people I promise you one day the entire public will chant your name. This pile wants public recognition and it will get exactly that but in even bigger numbers that they except to.