721km

[721km]

in another universe we are good siblings. maybe even all three of us.

[721km]

I remember watching bridge to terabithia at the daycare after school a bunch of times, to the point that everyone who would go there hated the movie. We were so sick of it. I was 10 at the time and the only girl I played with during those times was two years younger than me. She ended up passing away that year. I cant remember them playing that movie again afterwards.

[721km]

I hate texting. Put your cigarette out on me

[721km]

so badly I just want to be able to go on a walk without it being such a fucking mission. im back to feeling like im walking around with two sprained ankles and I swear to god I’d be outside running for hours if it didn’t hurt so bad. and I feel so goddamn guilty for feeling this way and I’ve realized it’s my mothers voice in my head telling me it’s not so bad, stop complaining, it used to be worse and I just need to exercise more. maybe that’s true. maybe it’s not. I don’t know. all I know is that it’s Monday and I’m laying on my couch with my legs wrapped in a heating blanket because I walked to my friends place yesterday.

[721km]

I spent one last night with my friends back home before I moved out. And it’s not like I’ll never see them again but I still felt like I had to. It didn’t really feel like goodbye or anything just a normal hang out and 1am stop at mcdonalds, same as always. Thinking about it know tho I don’t know when I’ll see them again. I know I’ll go back home, I will next week for an appointment but. But I don’t think I’ll have time to see them and after that I haven’t really planned on going back much at all. Maybe I should have said a more…proper goodbye, something more than just “text me when you get home”. I wonder if they think about it, if they think about me. as if I’m gone. as if I left them behind. I guess in a way I did. I just hope they aren’t mad, or sad. They know I love them they have to.

[721km]

I’m not doing great, I know that. But I also know that I’m doing better than last year, and for now that is enough.

[721km]

I walk outside in the snow and suddenly I’m 9 years old again, digging tunnels through snow piles with my brother, bad things have happened to me but I haven’t realized it yet. My brother is still a safe person.

[721km]

i will forever wish to be like that one friends house where you feel safe. where you don’t dread the morning after a sleepover. where it feels like the house is hugging you. warm and comforting. I will forever wish to be the house that hugs

[721km]

This summer wasn't kind to me

[721km]

Remember when we used to send each other letters as kids? You sent me your wishlist for your 10th birthday but misspelled the word "money".

[721km]

I have better parents and you have nicer siblings

[721km]

-sorry about the missed calls and unread messages, I never figured out how my voice-mail works and you didn't stick around long enough to teach me but I remember the best way to catch baby frogs like you showed me at 7 years old so maybe try to not forget about me too?

[721km]

i wish mainstream media explored """weird""" sibling relationships and treated them as normal (because they are) more.

like, half siblings. adopted, foster, and step siblings but don't be gross about it. your cousin that lives with you/was adopted by your parent(s). large age gaps. large amounts of siblings. that "friend" that lived with you for a big chunk of your childhood. siblings that grew up in abusive and/or neglectful homes. estranged siblings. siblings that were never close but want to be. siblings that aren't close at all. siblings that just genuinely don't like each other. siblings that actually apologize to each other. siblings that grew up in seperate homes. siblings that have hurt each other in the past and are working through it together. siblings that have hurt each other and don't forgive. and so many other things.

just. give me more than just "haha i hate my annoying younger sibling/my older sibling is so stupid and edgy" or some other weird shit.

[721km]

I think I would have wanted a better older brother. I think I still want a better older brother.

Dear brother, I don't like you.