alexacgrayson

[alexacgrayson]

"I ruined this for myself by closing my eyes and using my heart to see a wondrous lie"

-Alexa C. Grayson, from my poem "Lonely Nights"

[alexacgrayson]

today I was out smoking during my job break and this man arrives and straight up says something racist about my sister studying korean (the dude apparently knew my father, who's my boss) and then he proceeded to look at me, practically tell me I looked stupid and then, very cleverly, said: "you know right that smoking is bad for your health". I was like, yeah, I know, I can't help it. He repeated "so you know its bad for you". Brother, yes, I'm not stupid, I'm aware, then he SAID IT AGAIN AND I LOST IT so I told him "yeah I know it kills that's why I do it" and he looked at me like I was Satan. By the way he was a cop so it's not like I could say anything back but he really pissed me off

Also I barely smoke one cigarette every two days so I'm not even an actual smoker

[alexacgrayson]

Promise to an unknown lover

I was once offered a golden key

that could open the Silver Gates

But I turned it down, rejected it

for you were not behind those mighty doors, among the Holy Saints

One day the Sun caught me staring at the Moon with longing

and He told me it could've been mine

So I laughed at Him, smiling

Because, honey, I was indeed looking at

the satellite

but all I saw was your smile

and what am I to do with the Moon

when I know somewhere, lost in space and time, there's you?

And I remember when the Wise Man

said he could grant me immortality

So I crashed the Crimson Stone in my hand

Because forever means nothing if I can't hold you through infinity, towards no end

Finally, the Universe spoke to me

It told me to give you up, so I could have everything

Well, my love, the universe is a fool

if It thinks I'd choose anything over you

For even if we were to be parted forever

I would give up life Itself, Everything, altogether

Just to give one last kiss

to the inside of your wrist

and feel your heart beat on my lips

-Alexa C. Grayson

[alexacgrayson]

OMG OMG OMG

UPDATE

I AM STUPID THERE ARE FROGS INDEED

happiness, at last

[alexacgrayson]

Just logged in after a while and saw the "Check out these blogs" window but I read it as "Check out these frogs!"

and let me tell you

I am very disappointed in my discovery

[alexacgrayson]

Rain

If the definition of “sublime”

is something that is both beautiful and terrifying

Then, to me, the Rain is the epitome of the sublime

For it can be calm, gentle

and come down like sweet kisses that cover your body

But when it gets darker and colder

when the sky is bruised by lighting and thunders

The feeling of comfort in my heart

turns into irrational fright

and I look for a safe space where I can numb the sound

And yet, even when my heart is trembling

in front of the most glorious of storms

I still admire the rain

not coming down like gentle kisses no more

but like sharp knives ready to kill

And I know very well

that I’d let it kill me

-Alexa C. Grayson

[alexacgrayson]

Digging in a graveyard

looking for a friend

I stumbled upon a mossy engraving

which elegantly said

"Here lies the Woman in Gold

since the day you were born

she was killed on a monday evening

by the cry of a child at their mother's birthgiving"

So I dug that grave

till the shovel hit a soft crate

I looked inside the already open coffin

and heard a voice behind me

The Woman in Gold

whispered in my ear

she took me by the throat

and watched me fall

not a human but a corpse

hit the silky layer

cold dirt covering my back

for the casket was left open

And before the work was done

she laughed and cried in joy

"I was walking with my friends here

when you killed me with your tears

now it is my turn to cry

for I can finally come back to life"

-Alexa C. Grayson

[alexacgrayson]

Anger always took a hold of me

whenever my mind was lucid enough to feel it

And anger always won in me

when it battled against good sense

and rationality

Anger will always win in me

no matter what I try

Anger will always devour me inside

and eventually, burn me alive

I can try to close my eyes

I can try to breathe

I can pretend and tell good lies

I can hide all of it

But, eventually

It will win

And, eventually

it will kill

-Alexa Charlie Grayson, from the collection "Because You Can't Help It"

[alexacgrayson]

Tell me, friend, do you miss me too?

Do you recall the good old times?

Or do you drown yourself in pills and wine?

Do you laugh, do you smile, thinking about me?

Or do you cut yourself, because it hurts less to bleed

-Alexa Charlie Grayson, from the collection "Because You Can't Help It"

[alexacgrayson]

And while you get scared and take your book

ripping from the calendar the month of June

we walk and step on the cruelties of earth

holding hands and singing our worth

And while you call us names

and pray for our change

Our souls intertwine

as we dwell in sweet sublime

And while you read your timeless book

and misinterpret all it says

we embrace one another

and make the world a better place

And while you go home, mad and tired

because all you said simply back-fired

we are out in the streets, proud and bold

for we know we're worth more than our weight in gold

-HAPPY PRIDEEEEEEEEEEE

[alexacgrayson]

HAPPY

PRIDE

MONTH

EVERYBODY

<33333

[alexacgrayson]

The people, they believe them

for they smile while telling lies

and they are far too blind to notice

that better times are not in sight

so we try to fix it up

all the mess they have made

but do not ask us for respect

after you've laughed right at our face

- Alexa Charlie Grayson, from the collection "Because You Can't Help It"

[alexacgrayson]

(...) Jesus, can you go one day without hurting your mother? I can't believe they still love you, you fucking burden wanna know what I think, perhaps? You should've ended it all when you had that chance.

-Alexa C. Grayson, from my poem "To Myself, from my brain"

[alexacgrayson]

Because, at the end of the day I would rather be forgotten than being remembered as a mistake

-Alexa C. Grayson

[alexacgrayson]

I see your silhouette Coming towards But never reaching me You wander towards infinity

-Alexa Charlie Grayson, my favourite lines from the poem "Sleepless Nights"

[alexacgrayson]

Sleepless Nights

Sleepless Nights

Muffled sighs

Tossing and turning

Over, and over, and over

In my bed

Staring at the ceiling

With my eyes closed

In the deepest dark

I see your silhouette

Coming towards

But never reaching me

You wander towards infinity

At least I can see your hazel eyes

Sweetening my Sleepless Nights

-From my collection "Because You Can't Help It"

[alexacgrayson]

MOOD

literary craving are so weird??? you mean to tell me my brain just needs me to re-read that one random book or fanfic from a year ago becauseee