ananasinus

[ananasinus]

hot take. if there is a scene in the fanfic where dick is tense in Bruce's presence/believes that Bruce doesn't love him - then there can't be a "good parent" tag.

i don't care about misunderstandings. then i see this as a child who has convinced himself that he is unloved or, even worse, not safe with his parents. and if add the "not adopted" tag you can roll me up. most likely i am indignant and crying

Bruce doesn't deserve a son like Dick. And the fact that Dick is worried about Bruce's reaction to "daddy" is my proof.

(Listen! I love a good dad Bruce. But only if the fanfic shows a good dad, and not a man whose eldest child has taken over the parental functions and must himself take the initiative in the child-parent relationship)

[ananasinus]

why did i cry today 5 (cartoon)

wild robot. i didn't just cry, i CRIED the whole second half. parent-child relationships always break my heart. this is the second time i watch this cartoon and this time i'm like pavlov's dog, i started crying before the music even started. how does rose take care of the gosling, and how does she run after him to the cliff to watch him fly away?

oh my god, bring me some tissues

[ananasinus]

funny thing is that on saturday i have two updates and two authors named luna/lyna. one of them is dick/edward, the other is percy/telemachus. on saturday i get a portion of four things that i am addicted to, and it is wonderful

Dick Grayson/Edward Elric? Wow, I never knew I needed that until I read this fic (Vienna. Thanks @lunalovestowrite, I'm living from Saturday to Saturday now)

It's been all I can think about for a couple weeks now. I'm just thinking about how great Edward fits into Gotham. Honestly, to me he's like Peter Parker in Gotham, but in dark mode. It's just that Edward meets a new villain who's all about show and spectacle, expecting screams and chaos and Edward just claps his hands and grabs him with concrete.

Ed: what a sad use of my time.

Dick in the background with little flags waving in support: go ahead darling!

[ananasinus]

Dick Grayson/Edward Elric? Wow, I never knew I needed that until I read this fic (Vienna. Thanks @lunalovestowrite, I'm living from Saturday to Saturday now)

It's been all I can think about for a couple weeks now. I'm just thinking about how great Edward fits into Gotham. Honestly, to me he's like Peter Parker in Gotham, but in dark mode. It's just that Edward meets a new villain who's all about show and spectacle, expecting screams and chaos and Edward just claps his hands and grabs him with concrete.

Ed: what a sad use of my time.

Dick in the background with little flags waving in support: go ahead darling!

[ananasinus]

Talon!Dick, where Bruce really wants this kid for himself, but he resists. Dick is sure that they are two competing species, since owls hunt bats in the wild. So when Talon starts stalking his kids, he knows that this is the way out. In essence, Bruce creates a metaphorical breadcrumb trail, but not of crumbs, but of robins. At Dick's estate, his chicks and his own room (always warm and with a lot of blankets for a nest) are waiting for him.

Talon gets housetrained like a wild cat (or owl), but over time feels comfortable enough not to be wary when Bruce enters the room. Batman chalks this up as a success.

The children are very happy, well fed and warm. Yes, they grumble when they are wrapped in captivity, but they are small victims.

Dick preens with pleasure.

[ananasinus]

Athena got mad at Odysseus because he was a mortal who went against a goddess. But the fact that an immortal being would BE OFFENDED by a mortal who literally had the most traumatic experience of all time is what's funny.

Honestly, I think after casting this, Odysseus will start teaching Telemachus to never rely on the gods. You can "befriend" them or "learn" from them, but be prepared for them to leave or become your enemy. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy your time together, but only get attached to the gods enough that it won't hurt when they leave.

Athena suspects this and she deeply regrets it. She will become a good friend to Telemachus and make sure that he does not doubt her.

[ananasinus]

A group of Amestrian military men are invited to England to help with the Dark Lord. The team includes three alchemists (Ed, Al, and Roy) and other soldiers.

Edward: Seriously? A school teacher is leading a rebellion?

Roy: I can't believe I was forced into this.

Alphonse (a recent foodie): This house stinks.

(Six days after their arrival, the Amestrians successfully staged a coup, overthrew the corrupt government, and carefully transformed the Dark Lord into seven small urns for ashes. Harry lost his parasite through a simple human transmutation.)

[ananasinus]

when percy jackson comes to ask telemachus for his hand (tradition after all) odysseus gives his classic quest with 12 axes. percy is a terrible archer, so Apollo comes to odysseus.

Apollo: as the god of archery, i bless percy not to take this test.

Odysseus:

Apollo: this kid is good at literally everything except the bow, give him a chance.

Odysseus:

Apollo: well do you want me to shoot for percy?

Odysseus:

Apollo: Odysseus?

Odysseus in his mind: *if i take this kid in, gods will be hanging around my doorstep forever. why is such a good boy making a deal with these... these?*

Telemachus: *looks sadly at his father*

Odysseus, screaming in frustration: i'll think about it

Percy, already thinking about stealing Telemachus from the castle: oh, okay

[ananasinus]

Talon! Dick follows every Robin. They are his nestlings, so he keeps an eye on their safety and happiness. But the thing is, Batman can't stop taking children and poor Talon can't keep up with them all. Some of them even fly off into space, so he's supposed to keep an eye on their safety?

At one point, he gets so upset that his youngest notices. The boy doesn't know what to do and calls an expert.

Damian: The Talon is broken.

Jason: Wait, what?

Damian: He won't stop touching me and he keeps making sad noises.

Jason: Okay? What do you want me to do?

Damian: Fix it! You tamed the Talon, it's your responsibility! *beeps*

Jason: Oh, you little...

(Jason eventually gets an answer from Talon, gathers all the kids in one place and lets him brush and take care of everyone. The kids grumble, but Talon is happy and that's the main thing. They have these gatherings every few weeks, everyone brings blankets for Talon's nest)

[ananasinus]

I haven't started reading the fanfic yet, but I already love it for the tags

[ananasinus]

au Talon! Dick, where's Jason, handing over the Robin mantle has a "conversation" with Tim.

Jason: yeah, as you know, i've been batman's partner for almost ten years.

tim: *listens in awe*

Jason: i figured it was time to tell you what you're inevitably going to have to deal with.

tim: *ready to grab a pen and pad*

Jason: you'll be followed by Talon, usually from the shadows, popping up every now and then and showing awkward signs of concern.

tim:...what?

jason: yeah, i know. i'm about to introduce you, so don't yell if he shows up. also, when he brings you your first mouse, don't be a dick (ha) and say thank you.

tim, i think his predecessor is crazy: okay..?

(that evening, jason takes tim to the roof and introduces him as a little brother in the darkness. tim doesn't scream, but he wants to when a moment later the real talon appears in front of him. dicks softly and strokes his head. he's very happy, now he has two chicks, and he didn't even have to start a nest or find a mate)

[ananasinus]

Dick!Talon in which he sees little Robin on the rooftops of Gotham and immediately adopts him in his mind.

Talon sees the baby bird sitting alone on a roof and instantly decides that Robin is now his. He doesn't take the boy with him, of course. He doesn't even know that a shadow is following him now. But Talon makes sure that his baby bird is safe and happy under the care of an old bat.

One day, Jason is attacked, Batman is not around and Talon intervenes, immediately eliminating the threat. A frightened Robin does not have time to react, as a stranger flies up to him, gently pats him on the head, straightens his cape and disappears. The boy is shocked, and Talon is very pleased with himself. From then on, he appears whenever his bird is alone.

The Joker dies before he can strike a second time. Bruce receives a warning.

Dick: Either you take care of my baby bird or I'll take it

Bruce: ...

Jason: I'm not your child!

Dick: *pats head gently*

[ananasinus]

Odysseus is a girly girl. You can sit down and talk about the times you were harassed and he will understand. He has this experience too, so we can drink wine and cry (I'm lying, I will cry while Odysseus will look out the window and miss Penelope)

[ananasinus]

Odysseus from Epic is a showcase of why I will never have a partner. and here's why:

- he pronounces his wife's name as Pe-ne-lo-peeee and almost cries in the process.

- he's smart and resourceful

- he literally went through a war, several goddesses, a bunch of monsters, and Poseidon to get home.

- the first thing he said to his son was "oh my boy, sweetest joy I've known"

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY

- after everything he went through, he told Penelope all his crimes and gave her the power to decide if she wanted to be with him after all that (I'm going to write an essay about this and you can't stop me)

[ananasinus]

Odysseus adopts Percy within three seconds of meeting him. (The first three seconds he hesitated between instantly killing his enemy's son.)

He and Penelope adore Percy, treating him like their own. Telemachus finally gets a brother and is overjoyed. Percy? Horrified. He doesn't know how to let his adoptive father (????) take charge and just breathe. No one asks him to fight, no one sends him to Tartarus, no. Odysseus simply rejoices in his success and encourages his aspirations.

When Poseidon shows up, Percy doesn't even have time to prepare for a possible fight before he is gently pushed behind him.

Poseidon: you took my son?!

Odysseus: yeah, he's mine now🖕

Poseidon: 😶🤨

Odysseus, the lucky owner of two beautiful sons and the best woman in the world: 600 blows part 2 🔱

(actually, Percy, a demigod with war in his blood is always ready to pounce on possible danger. but it's really nice to be a kid. and watching a mortal throw a god into PTSD is pretty funny)

[ananasinus]

you can go through the interview and hope that telemachus will do the bow part for you🎉

Odysseus, who had not expected such a turn of events: ...what?

Athena, who raised two warriors of the mind: 🙃

Odysseus meets Telemachus's potential suitor like a very picky HR.

He has a list of requirements, three stages of selection, six interviews and at the end, he gives them his bow and tells them to string it and shoot through 12 axes.

Penelope treats this with tenderness and joy, she knows that if Telemachus chooses someone, Odysseus will cry, but resign himself: keep it up, dear.

Telemachus, dying of embarrassment: daddy, please

(when telemachus meets his love, he shoots himself through 12 axes. odysseus actually cries. penelope strokes his head)

[ananasinus]

Odysseus meets Telemachus's potential suitor like a very picky HR.

He has a list of requirements, three stages of selection, six interviews and at the end, he gives them his bow and tells them to string it and shoot through 12 axes.

Penelope treats this with tenderness and joy, she knows that if Telemachus chooses someone, Odysseus will cry, but resign himself: keep it up, dear.

Telemachus, dying of embarrassment: daddy, please

(when telemachus meets his love, he shoots himself through 12 axes. odysseus actually cries. penelope strokes his head)