anxiously-alive

[anxiously-alive]

Carbamazepine (Tegretol) crew.

[anxiously-alive]

10/02/25

Stopped lithium. Feeling uneasy. Hoping it’s just the stresses of life.

[anxiously-alive]

Yep, that’s me in the background. Loosing my mind.

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21/12/24

Bipolar = ride or die

And baby I’m enjoying the ride. At least my brain is fun and interesting.

Peace out.

[anxiously-alive]

Changing mood stabiliser has made me realise that the stability that I’ve had is completely false. The true me is full of insecurities, anxiety, irritability and instability and that scares me every single minute.

[anxiously-alive]

16/12/2024

Start reducing my lithium to 600mg. Please work. I need this for my physical health…

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07/12/24

Officially started Lamotrigine today - 25mg

I hope it works well and helps me stabilize a lot more. Lithium was helpful but not helpful physically.

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I’m living in the shadow of the person I used to be…

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And as fast as a lightning bolt my depression is back. It’s strong, hard and as deep as ever.

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— Sylvia Plath

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I’m a virus that needs to die.

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Stability is a place Bipolar people visit. None of us can actually live there.

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Still have a catheter and yes it’s getting me down.

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Just because I have a degree and I am educated doesn’t mean I can’t be mentally unwell or even extremely mentally unwell at times. It’s stupid how the system sometimes overlooks me.

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Turns out I have kidney stones. One 3mm on my left and a 2mm on my right. Fun.

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Been catheterised because I have urine retention in the psych ward. Don’t think my life could get much worse tbf.

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Not sure which one is winning the battle for being most fucked my mind or my kidneys???