apiptosis

[apiptosis]

The Fentons might have settled in the middle of bumfuck nowhere but they did have quite the reputation from their crazy antics. It is well known that:

1. Atleast one of the partner pair is always built like a brick shit house.

2. They all have a time period where they pick up a ton of random skills and useless knowledge before settling down on their particular niche.

3. A person of Fenton descent will always fall for the most dangerous person around them.

4. A Fenton will always bounce back from anything. They can die but they cannot be killed by mortal means.

5. They have the bad habit of unconsciously putting themselves in harms way.

The traits mentioned wouldn't have been a problem if the heros found out about them however due to facts 2, 3, 4 and, 5 the Fentons were well known to the villains.

This leads to the situation Danny now found himself in after he tripped off of a rooftop and got hit by a car into a warehouse building.

Picking himself up from the rubble with groan and a crack of his back Danny took stock of his situation. The closest was a pretty lady that vaguely looked familiar along with a few goons and a dude in a bat furry costume with a bunch of people. The youngest was cosplaying a traffic light. A girl with a purple cloak. A girl in black was dressed similarly enough to the bat furry. Etc.

It looked like he interrupted some kind of fight and now they all just stood there uncertain of what to do.

The lady suddenly grabbed him by the collar and yanked his head down to her level as she examined him. "Oh fuck me sideways your a Fenton... If your here then..." She quickly let go of him.

It took Danny half a second before he could place her. "Oh yeah! You are that lady uncle Robby was pinning after, Shiv something."

The cosplayers all looked uncertain and he could feel the concern radiating from them.

"I am Lady Shiva and yes Robert certainly is something. First time I found a man I couldn't kill." The lady, Shiva, a fond look on her face.

"You got any allergies? Mom and dad's 30th anniversary is coming up this November. Just about the whole family is coming." Danny said giving her a piece of paper with the date and location.

"is Alicia going to be there?" Lady Shiva said as she gripped her blades tighter, a predatory smile on her face.

"I did say the *whole* family. Even Gruncle Ra is coming." Danny explained with a shrug.

"Yes!" Shiva exclaimed. "Between you and me I still don't know how Cheetah manages to pull your aunt."

"I try to forget. I just remember that they are banned from 40 countries." Danny said as he shuddered. After a quick glance at his watch he bolted for the hole in the wall. "Oh shit I have to go pick up my sister from Arkham!"

As he ran he distantly heard Lady Shiva yell "I'll be there and call me aunt Shiva!"

[apiptosis]

Sorry for being so late with these but life a bitch. So here's part 4

The fourth one to meet our resident ghost is our fan favorite butler.

Alfred loved his weekly grocery runs. It started about a month or so after master Bruce brought young master Jason into their abode and about a month or so of Alfred feeling the indignanty of one of his charges disliking his food that Alfred realised the problem.

Young master Jason was used to certain types of food and with that came the peculiar taste that you just cannot get with the prime ingredients delivered to the mansion. He needed to buy the cheap cuts and products to make something the young master enjoyed.

With the indignanty of the first time Alfred simply had to wash the shame of using these subpar ingredients away with some quality tea that he did not have to make himself.

Nowadays it's became a soothing habit of his to visit the tea shop afterwards and since the young master Jason has decided to attend the weekly dinners for the last year or so at the behest of his paramour.

'Yes' Alfred thought with some degree of smug satisfaction as he entered the quaint little no name grocery shop. 'I know about the young lady your courting master Jason. Hiding things in this family of ours is akin to launching a flare for all to see, especially when you are that serious about her.'

Armed with a small list and an empty shopping cart Alfred started his search for item number one: a packet of no name instant soup to use as sauce for pasta.

After finding most of his list Alfred felt a blow on his shoulder. Swerving around and already halfway into a fighting stance against whomever had snuck up on him Alfred had to stop for what he thought was a fist was instead the pointer finger of a behemoth of a man.

"Sorry to bother you sir but could you help me with these?" the behemoth's voice rumbled, not even noticing his readiness to fight just holding three sacks out now that he had his attention.

"You see I want to bake a cake for my girlfriend's birthday while I'm a decent cook my knowledge on baking is pretty subpar. Which of flour do I use? Self-raising, whole wheat or cornstarch?" The giant didn't seem hostile so Alfred allowed himself a quick glance at what he was holding.

Indeed he was holding Self-raising, whole wheat and, much to Alfred own consternation, a sack of cornstarch.

After a deep sigh and a moment to get the image of using conrstach as flour out of his head bade the Man to return the sacks and walked him to the boxes of cake mixes. As soon as he started explaining the steps the man had a small notebook out, scribbling out the instructions along side his own advice such as adding an extra egg and substituting water with milk.

All too soon both of them found themselves exiting the store discussing pasta recipies and advice for baking. Only to look up and see his rolls royce flying through the air and crashing through a few other cars as a black figure practically dances out of the way. Her assailant, whom Alfred swiftly identifies as Bane, yells out in fury over orphan's continued survival.

Immediately the young man was in front of Alfred, intercepting the blow coming for them and returning a powerful blow to Bane's jaw then one to his kidney.

For second the two 8 foot tall titans stared at each other before bane fell over unconscious. Alfred barely even registered that just muttering. "No, not the Silver wraith..."

Call him old fashioned but he loved that car. Sure they had the newest models but it was not a 1948 silver wraith.

So distrought was Alfred that he completely missed orphan giving the young man a kiss and tie up the unconscious wrestler. The young man drew him out of his daze by putting a meaty paw on his shoulder.

"Hey umm sir... Ah was that your car?" the young man asked concerned. With a mournful glance at his now ruined favorite car, "Indeed, I shall have to ask one of the young masters to come and fetch me."

"And where would those 'young masters' be at this time of the night because I really don't want to leave you here alone. There's always a few idiots here in Gotham who would try a drive by shooting." The young man's greenish blue eyes radiated genuine concern for him.

"The young masters should be at the Wayne manor." Alfred found himself answering.

"Allright tell you what, I'll drop you off there since it's not that far past my place and you can tell me about that chocolate chip cookie recipe we were discussing earlier." The young man said as he picked up his groceries and herded Alfred over to the mammoth tank with wheels he really should have noticed before.

***

The next day master Bruce had the totalled car brought in for Alfred to try and restore. Young master Jason was the only one as distrought as he was about it but atleast young miss Cain gave him one of the cookies she usually hoards for his mental anguish.

For some reason the cookie tasted extremely familiar.

[apiptosis]

I love eldritch Danny. Reblog.

DPxDC "Pick Me Up"

The stream goes live on the first day of the school year. It's the usual song and dance - mad laughing, threats, poor jokes, terror, and about thirty kids huddled together in a classroom behind Joker's back. Tim recognizes it as one of the Gotham Academy classrooms. Dick can't imagine the horror those kids' parents must be feeling right now. Jason jokes about middle school traumatic experiences. Damian is feeling very justified for skipping classes today.

Bruce, all suited up in his Batman garb, is making his way to the Academy as fast as he possibly can. Those are kids.

Gotham is once again anxiously kept on the edge of their seats, watching as Joker decides to interview the kids on their learning experience so far. Something about leaving a good first impression on the new generation or some other bullshit. Most kids stutter over their words - it's true that Gothamites are way more composed when facing life-threatening events, but those kids are only fourteen or fifteen for the most part. They are not old enough to keep their cool in the face of a murder clown.

That is, until Joker points his camera at one of the girls. Black hair in a high ponytail, blue eyes without a trace of fear, a slightly displeased, even bored expression on her face. She looks straight into the camera, not even waiting for the laughing madman to finish his question, and deadpans:

"I don't think I like school. Pick me up, please."

Joker sputters.

"Not so scared, I see," he sneers, and, in the next moment, a comically large gun painted in purples and greens is pointed to the girl's forehead, "How about now?"

The girl scrunches her nose and makes a so-so gesture.

"It's kinda meh," she admits, "Like, yeah, points for style, but you know, size doesn't matter. It's all in the technique."

Dick snorts over the comms. It's a bad time for laughing, sure, but the phrase caught him off-guard. This is not what you'd expect to hear from a teen, and definitely not something you'd expect anyone to say to the Joker. Jason's comms are muted, but Barbara knows he also laughed a little.

"Technique, you say?" Joker hisses, pressing the gun closer to the girl's head, and she winces, leaning away from it, almost as if she is disgusted by the touch.

"Yeah, I mean, guns are not that scary anyway. What are you gonna do with them, blast my brains all over the floor? Been there, done that," the girl shrugs, "Kinda nasty, but overall, it's just like slime, only sticky." She pauses and looks to the side, seemingly lost in thought, "Huh, maybe we should have added Borax to it. Or was it baking soda?.."

"Listen here, you little brat," Joker's fingers catch the girl's chin, and his voice becomes sickeningly menacing. Bruce is almost there, just two more minutes. Tim is already grappling onto the wall.

But none of them get to finish.

"Put your dirty fingers away from my sister," a low, cold, and even in a way that speaks of barely contained fury, voice comes from out of the screen.

The camera spins, like whoever is holding it turned really fast, and everyone watching the stream sees a fairly normal guy standing by the window - a turtleneck and ripped jeans, same black hair as the girl, same blue eyes... Wait, they are not blue.

And that's not a guy.

The camera falls down to the floor, and there are a lot of panicked screams coming from the broadcast now, but none of them sound like children's voices. It's the screams of adults, of grown-ass men, and later, someone even claimed they heard Joker's scream among them, too. The picture on camera glitches a few times, and the angle is awkward, but everyone still gets to see how shadows in the room morph into eyes, wide open and green, and how the darkness grows sharp teeth, countless grinning mouths that don't belong to any faces.

Screams turn into gargling and then to quiet whispers, filling the ears of all those listening with countless words in languages they don't know.

Red Robin turns off the recording and looks to that same guy from the levestream, sitting across him on the couch. The guy - Daniel, or Danny, as he introduced himself - looks him in the eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, and?"

"How did you do it?" Tim asks for the third time this evening. Danny blinks.

"Did what?" He asks, completely incomprehending. Tim groans. He's been trying to get his answers, any answers at this point, from the guy for thirty fucking minutes already. So far, he's got nothing. Danny, whoever the fuck he is, proves to be the most annoying human being on Earth.

"Seven people in a coma, including Joker himself, with no physical injuries and none of the children remember a thing! How?!" He demands, and a girl's face peeks from around the corner:

"I remember!"

Tim snaps his head at her, "What do you remember?"

The girl pauses, blinks, and looks to Danny. Then shrugs, "My brother picked me up from school."

Tim drops his head down and breathes out in frustration. He can't force the information out of civilians, he is a vigilante, not a mafia.

"Would it make you feel better if I promise not to do it again?" Danny asks, and his voice is way too innocent for Tim to believe him. He raises his head to look the guy in his shameless, amused eyes.

"I hate you."

"Thanks," Danny grins.

[apiptosis]

I still have no clue how Tumblr works but here's part 3

The third member to meet Danny is none other than our resident Demon brat.

It was rare that Damian could truly relax. In the league he had to constantly be the perfect heir, the perfect assassin. When his mother got him out it was just as hard when he had to compete with four adopted brothers, Gordon, Brown and the infamous Cassandra Cain.

It was difficult to find someone who could understand him and what he had been through and still put up with his bulshit. Damian was man enough to admit that his own attitude did not help him so when he found someone who would, whom he could let down his walls with, he grasped on with both hands.

"You seem to be thinking quite hard there Damian." A soft voice drew him from his thoughts. Damian looked her deep in her eyes freely let her peer at his thoughts. He knew she would not pry unless needed but he freely gave this.

"Just reminded myself how fortunate I was to have you." Damian admitted while they sat at their impromptu picnic.

It was rather rare for them to have dates in Gotham but today was a rare time where it was possible. The smog that always filled Gotham was almost completely absent today here in the forest at the edge of the Wayne property and perhaps most importantly, his father was off world with Cain and Grayson.

While most of the public believes Batman has a 'no metas allowed' rule, it was most certainly not true. What is true however is that his father is an overprotective idiot at times and would hover/spy onto their date.

"Dam-"

Whatever Raven was about to say was interrupted by a small sonic boom from just outside of the property that had both of them on their feet, their little picnic forgotten.

All too soon they found the source. A behemoth of a man was playing with a giant dog?

"Drop the stick boy!" The green beast dropped a log for want of a better word. "Good boy, wanna go again?" The beast gave a bark like artillery fire, tail waving like rotor blades. The man pick up the log and launched as though it was a javelin with a "Fetch Cujo!"

With one last artillery bark the beast bound after with great speed.

The man let out a deep sigh as he fell back into the shade of the nearby tree. "Man I wish I had more off days like this. Mhmmm, people? Hello there. Didn't think there would be people this far out. I'm Danny."

The man, Danny, waved as he lazily greeted them from where he lay on his bag in the shade. Danny lay so openly and without care that they could easily observe him.

Danny was very obviously a meta, his lazy smile with far too many sharp teeth, elfin ears and skin that was almost paler than Raven's. Most glaring was his height at seven and a half feet and shoulders nearly half as broad. (see Drake I can learn your freedom units)

"Damian" "Rachel" they introduced themselves.

"You two out on a date? It's one of my rare days off so I was planning one myself but unfortunately my girlfriend's dad needed help so she's out of town with him and her brother." Danny offered up freely. There was no hostile intent as far as Damian could tell. 'His intentions are true and there is no amniosity. His mind is well protected though.' Raven shared with telepathy.

"I take it your job is rather taxing?" Damian prodded.

Danny snorted "Nah man, I'm a university student, Aerospace engineering. The degree is kicking my ass but that's due to the amount of stuff I have to do. It's like they are afraid that I will have free time because I swear some of my projects and tests aren't for engineering.

Last week I had to write a chem exam and yesterday I had to submit a project that I'm pretty sure was a business model in disguise. If my luck holds out I might get a psych test next week. Ugh I'm already half dead, now their trying to get me to fully dead."

That was... concerning. It sounds like danny was possible rogue material and the university was trying their best to keep him from actually going rogue.

"So your taking a break and playing with you dog?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, Cujo is a sweetheart but it's hard to play with him here since people keep attacking him when he's in his large form." Danny explained as the dog bounded back without his stick. Worryingly there was a bit of blood on him. The dog had obviously been in a fight.

"Again buddy? Why can't they just leave you alone. Let's see what it's this time." Cujo dropped a finger on the ground with a very familiar green ring.

"He's a rescue I suppose but he was originally a guard dog and he was trained to disarm people when they attack him so I keep having to stash away guns and the like. With how crazy some people are I really should be prepared for things like this."

The ring seemed to sluggishly work it's way off of the finger before shooting straight for Danny.

"Daniel Fenton of -"Danny swiped the ring out of the air and held it in a tight grip. "Nah ah, I already have one green magic ring and I don't want a talking one on top of that!"

Danny rummaged through his bag before pulling out his thermos that smelled like coffee and chugged it like he was drakes long lost twin and managing to seal it into the thermos.

"There, I'll figure out what to do with that later."Sigh."well I guess we can talk at a later time but after that I'm heading home. Cujo shrink!"

The massive beast of a dog deflated like a balloon till it was the size of a small dog, happily trudging sfter it's owner as they hiked in the direction of Gotham.

With a glance to Raven, he confirmed that she was just as bewildered by the interaction as he was. Eventually they returned to their date, no use in letting odd encounters ruin their day, but Damian kept the name in the back of his head for now.

Later that night Damian found himself in the watchtower, going for the terminal so he could research this Daniel Fenton. He would have done this at home but Drake hogged the bat computer, nou doubt pinning after his coffee crush.

Along the way he found a small congregation of heroes trying to drown out Guy Gardner but also had to listen to his report as his hand was quite bandaged and missing a finger...

"On my patrol I nearly got Final destinationed by a flying log and then I got attacked by a green beast that wouldn't go down no matter what I thew at it. To make matters worse it was able to bite off my ring!" Guy complained incessantly.

Suddenly it made perfect sense why Danny was so upset but accepting of people attacking Cujo. How many times has this happened to him? How many times had the guy patched up his dogs wounds because people attacked him. How many of those time was it a hero who attacked Cujo? Damian could feel for both Danny and his dog.

"Sounds like you attacked a dog playing fetch and got upset when you couldn't hurt a dog for playing. Neutralizing an attacker's weapon is the bare basics of any guard dog's training." Damian found himself snapping at the man. Superman nodding along with him.

"Robin is right, while I am very concerned about you losing your ring, I am also concerned that you would attack a dog for playing fetch. I do the same with Crypto." Superman chastised Guy sternly.

[apiptosis]

Robin! Get me my forget-me stick!

Headcanon that Bruce invents fake “nicknames’ for his kids on patrol- usually fictional characters- because he cant full name them when they’re in costume-

So just imagine for me, Nightwing flying through the air past your late night college class, winking and making funny faces to get yall to laugh- when you hear Batman’s rough growl thunder: “PHILLIP THOMAS SHIRLEY!!!” (because dick had a thing about Prince Phillip when he was younger, wanted to be him etc)

Or the Red Hood is like roughing up these gang members and almost shits his pants when Batman appears and goes- “Fitzwilliam Darcy Esquire!”

Tim’s is- “William Sherlock Scott Holmes!!!!” sef explanatory i feel like

Damian is- “KIPPER CLIFFORD SHERMANN YELLER!!!” bc.. Dogs or smth… idk i needed it to be long

Steph is: “GEORGE THOMAS WASHINGTON!!!” bc… idk actually but it feels right

Babs is: “cockroach” and its only because shes always around no matter how much he dares to push her away and always comes back and also she pisses him off, but she calls him “mosquito” or just flat out “irritation,” “Oracle.” “yes irritation?” 

Cass is: Princess because he would never

Duke:... quite simply I think he just goes "DUKE!!!!" bc its generic enough and also... idk i feel like everyone in Gotham knows duke is signal.. like its not addressed everyone just knows...

[apiptosis]

This would be a great starter for a dc/dp crossover.

"my dear boy why don't you have any bones but atleast 5 granola bars?!"

Alfred’s superpower, among other powers, is being able to tell when a bone is actually broken or just a bad sprain/tear. He can sense bones almost as well as Clark can, with zero explanation as to why or how. He can examine a twisted ankle and immediately tell if it’s broken, long before Bruce drags the x-ray machine over and gets to work. The Batkids come limping home from patrol and look hopefully at Alfred, who leans in, squints, and then gives an unforgiving shake of his head. Bruce comes home from patrol and avoids Alfred more intently than he shakes a tail, because if Alfred doesn’t examine him then his ribs aren’t broken or unbroken, they simply are.

[apiptosis]

Holy crap your stories are great! Just binge read your blog! Can i possibly politely request some more backstory for your assistant! Jazz story?! When you have time! No rush :) and happy holidays!

Thank you but assistant! Jazz Story isn't mine. I just thought it would be funny if Dan and adult Danny were to remember the last biker guy that Jazz dated and internally freak out.

Concidering her past record with that kind of guys danny embraced his inner Dan and Dan as himself decided that they would just make sure the guy knew where he stood. The fact that Jason has died before just makes it hit a little home.

Tim hid a few cameras there and forgot about them after Jazz finally got Jason.

[apiptosis]

Unknown to danny, everywhere he went in Gotham death followed. It was unnerving to aal of the batfam because most of them genuinely liked the sassy guy, hell Jason even gave genuine smiles and Damian doesn't stab as much.

It was a greatly confusing mess for them until batman in outright kidnapped Danny and dumped him in ahrkam for the murders.

Then things became horrible. The jokers body was found in his cell, beaten to death, they only knew it was joker due to DNA tests. Danny was miserably asleep on his cot, still in his cell, with atleast 2 bats very reluctantly monitoring him.

Then they found black mask in a similar manner, not an hour after the joker's. Then Scarecrow. Then Zsasz, who was prior to this still loose in the City, was found in his old cell with every single tally scar tore open. DNA test were needed to confirm identity.

After a buch more corpses were found, Bruce was forced to admit that he had made a grave mistake and danny never trusted him again both inside and outside of the suit.

Green Dandruff

Danny’s shed ectoplasm/ectoplasmic equivalent of dandruff, empowers the local shades which gives them enough power to go after their killers.

This leads the Batfam to think Danny is a serial killer because people die everywhere he goes.

[apiptosis]

He drags Clark with him and along the way they find Clark's boy John getting his ass handed to him by a little girl. Now he has to deal with his friends son pinning over one of the suspects while he and his fake date Clark outright gets dragged along as a shaperone.

The Fentons might have settled in the middle of bumfuck nowhere but they did have quite the reputation from their crazy antics. It is well known that:

1. Atleast one of the partner pair is always built like a brick shit house.

2. They all have a time period where they pick up a ton of random skills and useless knowledge before settling down on their particular niche.

3. A person of Fenton descent will always fall for the most dangerous person around them.

4. A Fenton will always bounce back from anything. They can die but they cannot be killed by mortal means.

5. They have the bad habit of unconsciously putting themselves in harms way.

The traits mentioned wouldn't have been a problem if the heros found out about them however due to facts 2, 3, 4 and, 5 the Fentons were well known to the villains.

This leads to the situation Danny now found himself in after he tripped off of a rooftop and got hit by a car into a warehouse building.

Picking himself up from the rubble with groan and a crack of his back Danny took stock of his situation. The closest was a pretty lady that vaguely looked familiar along with a few goons and a dude in a bat furry costume with a bunch of people. The youngest was cosplaying a traffic light. A girl with a purple cloak. A girl in black was dressed similarly enough to the bat furry. Etc.

It looked like he interrupted some kind of fight and now they all just stood there uncertain of what to do.

The lady suddenly grabbed him by the collar and yanked his head down to her level as she examined him. "Oh fuck me sideways your a Fenton... If your here then..." She quickly let go of him.

It took Danny half a second before he could place her. "Oh yeah! You are that lady uncle Robby was pinning after, Shiv something."

The cosplayers all looked uncertain and he could feel the concern radiating from them.

"I am Lady Shiva and yes Robert certainly is something. First time I found a man I couldn't kill." The lady, Shiva, a fond look on her face.

"You got any allergies? Mom and dad's 30th anniversary is coming up this November. Just about the whole family is coming." Danny said giving her a piece of paper with the date and location.

"is Alicia going to be there?" Lady Shiva said as she gripped her blades tighter, a predatory smile on her face.

"I did say the *whole* family. Even Gruncle Ra is coming." Danny explained with a shrug.

"Yes!" Shiva exclaimed. "Between you and me I still don't know how Cheetah manages to pull your aunt."

"I try to forget. I just remember that they are banned from 40 countries." Danny said as he shuddered. After a quick glance at his watch he bolted for the hole in the wall. "Oh shit I have to go pick up my sister from Arkham!"

As he ran he distantly heard Lady Shiva yell "I'll be there and call me aunt Shiva!"

[apiptosis]

I love you Demon Twins Aus

I love you Anger Management ship

I love you Dead on Main ship

I love you Dead Tired ship

I love you Everlasting Insomniacs ship

I love you Spirit Halloween ship

I love you Serious Chaos ship

I love you Bad Humor ship

I love you Multi-Level Marketing ship

I love you accidental crime lord aus

I love you professional Team Phantom fics

I love you Just Some Guy™ Danny fics

I love you Arkham Employee Fentons fics

I love you Amity Parkers are liminal and freak out the greater community fics

I love you DP x DC fandom

[apiptosis]

Part 2 while I try to figure out tumbler.

The second one to meet Danny was one Cassandra Cain.

Cass ran into the thermos guy about five weeks after the incident with Tim. Unknowing this would Kickstart quite the changes in her life.

It was chaos for a while after Tim's 6 day long coma. For the first time in a very long time her brother was completely awake and refreshed. His completion returned to the healthy shade it's supposed to be and the bags under his eyes disappeared completely for a while.

The cause of Tim's coma was a caffeine overdose well that and an untreated concussion. According to Dr Leslie the last lingering traces of the larzarus pits managed to bring him back from the edge and now everyone in her family was religiously monitoring his caffeine intake. His time at the bat computer. How long he was allowed to be at WE. Etc.

Her brother was a saint for how long he lasted but eventually he got so fed up with everyone that he started a fight with Jason and Damian at the same time and after a brutal fight she, Alfred and Bruce had to break up Tim stormed off to buy the first apartment he could find that was reasonable enough.

So there she was in the early morning hours breaking into the old aparrment, room no. 404 was supposedly haunted, to give him the dented thermos she stole back from Bruce and Alfred as an apology. She even went to the Coffee shop at the corner of her studio that Tim liked and refilled it. No masks needed.

Cass was barely into the unfamiliar room when a frighteningly familiar voice appeared behind her accompanied by the singing of an unsheathed sword. "Truly Daughter, that you have allowed-"

An abnoxiously loud slurp interrupted her mother and in retaliation she stabbed the source. Said source had barely managed to turn one of the desk lamps on before he released a grunt of pain as Shiva stabbed him in the gut and he dropped his coffee mug to shatter on the floor.

A normal sized man would have recieved a mortal wound but the guy was atleast seven feet tall and struck his now vacant meaty paw out to grab Shiva by the forearm hard enough that she had to let the blade go.

The moment she let go he hefted her in the air by her arm uncaring of her kicks and merely chastised her with the barest hints of a Midwestern accent. "That was incredibly rude and since you stabbed me with it this saber is now mine." With a clean motion he tossed her out through the open window.

The whole scenario threw her off kilter and the few seconds it took her to realign herself he had already defenestrated Shiva.

With a grunt he pulled out the blade and set the bloodied thing on his sink with his ruined shirt before pulling out two chairs. 'Why would he do that? Everyone knows you don't just pull out something sticking into you, that was a sure way to bleed out.'

"I'd say it was a pleasure to meet you miss but that was rather unpleasant, you have my sympathies if that was truly your mother. So why dont we start over while I make us a cup of coffee."

"Names Danny and you are welcome to the Astral Apartments room 304." The man, Danny, said as he busied himself with the coffee machine.

"304?" For the first time Cass' rattled mind found it's voice that night. Danny immediately ought onto her confusion and radiating concern asked. "Yep 304. What room were you looking for?"

"404. Brother. My name is... Cass."

"The new guy? Moved in 5 days ago? Yeah, he left about an hour ago. If the pattern repeats he should be back in about four to five hours. It's nice to formally meet you Cass."

That was not good.

"Here," Danny said as he placed the a carton of milk and some sugar cubes down on the table next to the - yeah no that was not a cup of coffee - while it may look like an odd cup that was definitely a rather large steaming mug of coffee.

As Danny moved to take a seat Cass could find no trace of hostility from him. Her skills with spoken and written language might not be the best, it has gotten better though, her skills with the language of the body and emotion however was. Danny gave her no hostility or even dislike. Just pure concern, a lot of warmth, and comfort and a little bit of curiosity and some interest. Definitely a sense of protectiveness.

Her own worries and concern faded to curiosity and interest as she saw the wound much smaller than it was before.

"You can stay here till your brother gets back. He's usually here by the time I have to leave for Gotham U."

Slowly Cass sat down and prepared her coffee the way she liked it. Tradings one basic facts like her being a ballerina and prodding about here and there with the occasional prompt she soon found him rambling.

About his classes, how studying at Gotham U was going and how different they were from his schools in Illinois. He was studying to become an aerospace engineer. Random tidbits of space. It was kind of cute in a way how this behemoth of a man with a smile a little too toothy and bright or ears a bit too sharp rambled about his interests, eyes shining lie stars.

Eventually she had to leave when Tim arrived no matrer her own reluctance. That he was shirtless and easy on the eyes was a bonus and not one of the reasons she stayed.

As she left she concidered her options. This man with stars in his eyes would no doubt attract attention from the rogues. If she patrolled here as Orphan no one would really care all to much. It's just her way of lightening Tim's burden and keeping an eye out for Shiva.

She can come visit as Cass as well, perhaps get him to eat something. His fridge was very empty when she saw him returning the milk.

Grabbing one of the sticky notes she always kept by her she wrote down her number for him alongside a mental note to look at the academy a little but.

A few seconds after Danny closed the door Danny again. "So that's where by thermos was! I could have sworn I looked there."

[apiptosis]

The Fentons might have settled in the middle of bumfuck nowhere but they did have quite the reputation from their crazy antics. It is well known that:

1. Atleast one of the partner pair is always built like a brick shit house.

2. They all have a time period where they pick up a ton of random skills and useless knowledge before settling down on their particular niche.

3. A person of Fenton descent will always fall for the most dangerous person around them.

4. A Fenton will always bounce back from anything. They can die but they cannot be killed by mortal means.

5. They have the bad habit of unconsciously putting themselves in harms way.

The traits mentioned wouldn't have been a problem if the heros found out about them however due to facts 2, 3, 4 and, 5 the Fentons were well known to the villains.

This leads to the situation Danny now found himself in after he tripped off of a rooftop and got hit by a car into a warehouse building.

Picking himself up from the rubble with groan and a crack of his back Danny took stock of his situation. The closest was a pretty lady that vaguely looked familiar along with a few goons and a dude in a bat furry costume with a bunch of people. The youngest was cosplaying a traffic light. A girl with a purple cloak. A girl in black was dressed similarly enough to the bat furry. Etc.

It looked like he interrupted some kind of fight and now they all just stood there uncertain of what to do.

The lady suddenly grabbed him by the collar and yanked his head down to her level as she examined him. "Oh fuck me sideways your a Fenton... If your here then..." She quickly let go of him.

It took Danny half a second before he could place her. "Oh yeah! You are that lady uncle Robby was pinning after, Shiv something."

The cosplayers all looked uncertain and he could feel the concern radiating from them.

"I am Lady Shiva and yes Robert certainly is something. First time I found a man I couldn't kill." The lady, Shiva, a fond look on her face.

"You got any allergies? Mom and dad's 30th anniversary is coming up this November. Just about the whole family is coming." Danny said giving her a piece of paper with the date and location.

"is Alicia going to be there?" Lady Shiva said as she gripped her blades tighter, a predatory smile on her face.

"I did say the *whole* family. Even Gruncle Ra is coming." Danny explained with a shrug.

"Yes!" Shiva exclaimed. "Between you and me I still don't know how Cheetah manages to pull your aunt."

"I try to forget. I just remember that they are banned from 40 countries." Danny said as he shuddered. After a quick glance at his watch he bolted for the hole in the wall. "Oh shit I have to go pick up my sister from Arkham!"

As he ran he distantly heard Lady Shiva yell "I'll be there and call me aunt Shiva!"

[apiptosis]

A few months later a far bigger threat appears to the point that Jack just goes "Oh dear this is getting dangerous. I better call my kids," everyone else in the jl collectively goes oh shit he gave up. "for help."

Cue Danny, Jazz, Ellie and Dan showing up ready to throw hands.

There was a huge battle going on, and they were all currently recouping in the WatchTower. They'd managed to win, for now, but they all knew it wouldn't last. So. Every single available Justice League member was summoned for the recoup to figure out a new battle plan.

It was during this that Superman spoke up.

"If we need more heavy hitters, I can call up my twin brother. See if he's free."

And well. That wasn't what any of the gathered had excepted Superman - famously the last Kryptonian - to say. Many would even like to say it was the least excepted thing to hear.

"Your.. twin brother?"

"Do you mean Conner? Superboy??"

"You have a TWIN??"

The questions continued to rain down, until Batman held up a hand to silence everyone.

"Explain."

Superman stared at Batman for a second, at the gathered for half a second longer, before finally starting to explain this new piece of information he'd unintentionally given. (In his defence, it was one he thought most already knew).

"Well, Jack's not my twin by blood, but we grew up together. If we want a heavy hitter, he's someone we want on our side. We used to crash through walls for fun."

The last comment he added as an afterthought, as reference to what kind of heavy hitter he meant, something for the more normal to understand.

Everyone looked to Batman then, who simply nodded.

"If he's available, bring him here. I trust your judgement on this man."

"Thank you."

Superman smiled and stepped away, already dialling this twin brother judging by his fiddling with his phone.

-

When Superman had said he had a twin brother that he used to crash through walls with, for fun, most thought 'Okay, we got a sort of clear picture of what to except now.'

Those who thought that was wrong. Jack Fenton was as big as Superman himself, built like a tank and loud as one as well. His excitement spread like an invisible force through everyone still gathered, his blue eyes shining. The only sort of 'suit' the man had was an orange hazmat suit and black goggles, gloves covering his huge hands.

"Supes! It's good to see you again!"

The man picked up Superman like he weighed nothing, squeezing the hero in a hug, which Superman returned without a second thought.

"Jack! Thank you for coming!"

"Oh you know I could never pass up a little fight with my brother! Are there ghosts too??"

"We don't know yet, but we'd appreciate your expertise on it!"

"The expert is my Danno-boy!"

This man, Jack, preened proudly, finally setting Superman back down on the ground though the two men continued to chat happily. At least until Batman cut in again.

"Superman, Jack Fenton. Focus."

"Right!"

Batman waited until everyone focused, and so continued on with the plan, now with added questions of how Jack could be of assistance.

-

(When the world later got to witness a man in bright orange hazmat suit and black goggles fighting alongside the Superman and Justice League? It's mild to save the media went wild, and even more so those from a strange small town Amity Park in the middle of Illinois...)

[apiptosis]

"You guys are very loud and sorry to pop your bubble man but I have a girlfriend. See there she is, Hey Orphan!" Danny said with a bright smile as he waved her over.

"Danny! There you ar-"Orphan began.

" You have a boyfriend!? How, when!?" Tim freaked out as he snapped out of his trance.

Realising where this was going Cass threw her boyfriend over her shoulder and booked it. Throwing a "Yes. Dating. Year." as she grappled away with danny waving at them.

Dick: Don't look directly at him. Tim: At who? Dick using a mirror to look behind him: The ghost hero Phantom. They say he can bewitch people like an air-born love potion whenever he locks gazes with someone. Tim: Don't be so ridiculous. *Turns around* How can- oh.Oh my. That's a boy. A pretty boy. A pretty glowing ghost boy. Dick: Red Robin? RR!? Look away! Tim: He smiles like the stars, his eyes are like the cosmos, and his beauty pales the universe's wonders. I must have him. Dick: NO! HE GOT TIMMY! Jason standing to the side: Is Dick aware the rumor about Danny's love potion gaze is something Roy made up? Damian: I don't believe Richard is even aware Drake likes men and women. Frankly, I'm still waiting for the day Richard annouces he is like Drake in that regard. Jason: Dick likes guys? Damian: Have you seen Richard? Jason: .....Fair point. Dick: GUYS HELP ME SAVE TIMMY! *Holding Tim back* He is surprisingly strong for such a little guy! Tim: *Foaming at the mouth* PrettyGlowingGhostBoy. PrettyGlowingGhostBoy. PrettyGlowingGhostBoy. Jason: Are we sure Tim is mentally well? Damian: I've been saying he was unbalanced since the moment I arrived but no one ever listens.

[apiptosis]

There was one last video taken and Red Robin posted it by accident several months later.

Two Bane sized men sat the suddenly small looking Red hood down as the pulled the classic dad move of threatening the crime lord that if he broke her heart they would kill him and just for good measure destroy his soul and body seperatly just to make doubly certain he would stay dead this time.

Assistant Jazz au!

Someone records a lovesick Red Hood just ranting about how women who can break him in half are stupidly sexy and posts it to social media. #RelatableRedHood is trending within the week.

(It got long bc I got excited 😭)

The first video goes like this: It starts off with a woman clad in tight leather and a black helmet single-handedly fighting against a group of five men. She fought like a beast, with weapons and guns and on the occasion, her legs as she kicked a man so hard that he had puked his guts out. At one point, she had picked up one by the neck and tossed him to the wall.

The phone camera, shaky and quiet, then turned to face the infamous Red Hood's side profile. He didn't seem to notice that he was being recorded. He had his hand on his helmet-covered chin as he then said, "Do you think if I ask, she'll kill me with her thighs?"

That was when the video cut off. It was posted at 1:32 AM in the morning by an anonymous account with only one tag #RelatableRedHood.

It went stupidly viral. After that, there were more and more videos with the same tag, taken in more and more ridiculous ways to avoid the Red Hood noticing. Gothamites, particular ones from Crime Alley, were all having a great time watching their resident crime lord vigilante make a fool of himself in front of his hot assistant, who hadn't shown any reaction to the recent fame she gained as the woman who owned the legs that could make Red Hood beg for death.

The #RelatableRedHood videos always featured the same thing. Wolf would go about her business and do absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, or Wolf would complete an impossibly awesome feat with her intelligence or skills in weaponry and fighting, and Red Hood would then absolutely lose his mind afterwards.

Viewers both agreed to his thoughts and laughed themselves silly as they watched the infamous crime lord show just how head over heels in love he was with his assistant. Reaction images and memes went viral as the Red Hood simped over his assistant.

Video after video popped up and they were all clearly taken by goons within the Red Hood's gang due to sheer proximity and brilliant timing. Although videos came out somewhat rarely, probably due to Red Hood's perceptiveness, Gothamites gobbled up each one eagerly.

It all reached to a peak when a livestream link from the Official Robins account was posted at midnight.

In it, the Red Hood could be seen ranting and raving to himself in his office, smacking his helmet-covered forehead. An invisible camera captured it all. "Dammit!! Where are these videos coming from?! Who the fuck keeps making them?!"

He was presumably on call because after a moment, he answered an inaudible voice with a shout, "Like hell I do! Of course take it down! Why the hell would I want Wolf to see them?! She doesn't even know my feelings for her!"

Another pause. And then, "I'm not going to confess!! Why would she even like me anyways?!"

Viewers felt sympathetic for their favorite crime lord, but curiously, the livestream did not end as Red Hood continued to pace and mutter to himself angrily.

Their questions were answered as the door to the room opened and Red Hood hurriedly sat down in his seat, looking up at the door. The camera then captured the sight of Wolf striding into the room. She held papers in one hand and a coffee cup in the other.

Red Hood, silent and tense, clicked on a button, presumably disconnecting the call and then reached for the things she was holding. Wolf avoided his hands, placing the items on the table before she detached part of her helmet and placing it next to the papers.

Both the viewers and Red Hood were confused. More images of Red Hood's bewildered posture on the livestream appeared on the internet with #RelatableRedHood, but people were still focused on Wolf's strange actions.

The camera did not reveal any part of Wolf's face as she left the disconnected piece of metal on the side . She went around Red Hood's desk and sat on his lap confidently as the Red Hood froze like a deer in headlights. She took off his helmet without any resistance, tossed it to the floor, and then grabbed him by the lapels to kiss him senseless.

Cheers and celebrations erupted all over Gotham City as if they had suddenly won the lottery.

Unbeknownst to the Gothamites who were nothing but civilian viewers obsessing over Red Hood and Wolf's romance, Red Robin and Oracle were celebrating in the Watchtower with the rest of the Batfamily, who were all cheering loudly as they closed the livestream and then celebrated for successfully bringing together their brother and his crush.

Mission: Fairytale Ending was a success!

[apiptosis]

Nah I just thought this up in my sleep deprived state. You or anyone else is welcome to make it a fic. Just let me know if you do make one so I can read it.

The Fentons might have settled in the middle of bumfuck nowhere but they did have quite the reputation from their crazy antics. It is well known that:

1. Atleast one of the partner pair is always built like a brick shit house.

2. They all have a time period where they pick up a ton of random skills and useless knowledge before settling down on their particular niche.

3. A person of Fenton descent will always fall for the most dangerous person around them.

4. A Fenton will always bounce back from anything. They can die but they cannot be killed by mortal means.

5. They have the bad habit of unconsciously putting themselves in harms way.

The traits mentioned wouldn't have been a problem if the heros found out about them however due to facts 2, 3, 4 and, 5 the Fentons were well known to the villains.

This leads to the situation Danny now found himself in after he tripped off of a rooftop and got hit by a car into a warehouse building.

Picking himself up from the rubble with groan and a crack of his back Danny took stock of his situation. The closest was a pretty lady that vaguely looked familiar along with a few goons and a dude in a bat furry costume with a bunch of people. The youngest was cosplaying a traffic light. A girl with a purple cloak. A girl in black was dressed similarly enough to the bat furry. Etc.

It looked like he interrupted some kind of fight and now they all just stood there uncertain of what to do.

The lady suddenly grabbed him by the collar and yanked his head down to her level as she examined him. "Oh fuck me sideways your a Fenton... If your here then..." She quickly let go of him.

It took Danny half a second before he could place her. "Oh yeah! You are that lady uncle Robby was pinning after, Shiv something."

The cosplayers all looked uncertain and he could feel the concern radiating from them.

"I am Lady Shiva and yes Robert certainly is something. First time I found a man I couldn't kill." The lady, Shiva, a fond look on her face.

"You got any allergies? Mom and dad's 30th anniversary is coming up this November. Just about the whole family is coming." Danny said giving her a piece of paper with the date and location.

"is Alicia going to be there?" Lady Shiva said as she gripped her blades tighter, a predatory smile on her face.

"I did say the *whole* family. Even Gruncle Ra is coming." Danny explained with a shrug.

"Yes!" Shiva exclaimed. "Between you and me I still don't know how Cheetah manages to pull your aunt."

"I try to forget. I just remember that they are banned from 40 countries." Danny said as he shuddered. After a quick glance at his watch he bolted for the hole in the wall. "Oh shit I have to go pick up my sister from Arkham!"

As he ran he distantly heard Lady Shiva yell "I'll be there and call me aunt Shiva!"

[apiptosis]

This is absolutely beautiful. I only wish I could have included this into my sleep deprived writing.

Feel free to use this or add your own flair.

Concept danny meets all of the batfam's civilian identities but in the way of triggering all of their must protect instincts but in the oddest of ways.

Danny had been helping clockwork in the inbetween time and unfortunately had spent a little too long as Phantom. Due to this he had to stay in his human form for atleast 5 years. Cue danny spending his time actually following his hobbies and fixing his school work.

Jazz set out to follow her dream completing her degree in phycology at Arkam. Danny of course followed her, fortunately Gotham had the most advanced aerospace engineering program in the world

Unfortunately while he knew or could easily figure out the work, the sheer amount of projects and work pieces tired him out more than even the ghost attacks did.

The first one he meets is Tim.

Danny has always ran on caffeine but now his morning coffee he orders at the corner of the dance studio gives both the barista and the regulars heart palpitations by just smelling it. This particular coffee shop was the only place willing to make his morning coffee Death's Dew.

His order is for them to make him a 1000ml thermos about seven eighths of the way with ristretto coffee where he adds 3 scoops of caffeine powder and a smidgen of pure ectoplasm mixed in with milk.

Distantly Danny realised that the unholy concoction woke the poor zombie of a man waiting beside him with pure smell alone and the barista was mumbling about smelling colors.

Danny barely remembered to pay for his coffee as he shuffled to his morning class not realizing that he was being stalked by a caffeine addict that begged the last few sips.

A few hours later WE employees watched with mounting horror as their chronically tired boss jitter about like a speedster with Parkinsons.

It took Tim 6 days to fall asleep and the man was never allowed to visit the Dead End coffee shop unsupervised again, despite owning the business.

After everything Tim finally figured out what his family feels like about his coffee addiction and a deep rooted concern formed for the man who's thermos he stole.