arthropodwithapen

[arthropodwithapen]

arthropodwithapen turned 2 today!

[arthropodwithapen]

hey! just crawling out of my lightless cave to ask if anyone would be interested in reading an irondad featuring an evil Richard Parker, neglected, abused, ray of sunshine (not) Peter, murder investigating Tony, a touch of human experimentation, heavy doses of angst and just a rough time all around? im clearing out my WIP folders and I feel a strong urge to see this one through, I opened the document in November of 2023, manically wrote 80K words and then haven't touched it until now. thoughts?

[arthropodwithapen]

the mp3 player in all its brokenhearted glory

[arthropodwithapen]

an influx of comments has deemed this necessary, a Spotify playlist for the chapter titles for Spaghetti and Red Wine...

[arthropodwithapen]

— "𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑢𝑠, 𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑒, 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑜𝑦, 𝑝ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑖𝑠𝑡." ⭐️

Character: Tony Stark (Iron Man)

Fandom: Marvel (MCU)

Reference used made by: Hallpen on DeviantArt

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[arthropodwithapen]

just thought you should know that i reread one of your fics like every month and ive been doing it literally since you started it 😭 your writing is so addicting bro

This is so kind. You’ve made my morning, thank you so much :))))

[arthropodwithapen]

Ouch

Pepper being the one to handle picking Morgan up from fun places, after an incident where Morgan whined that she “doesn’t wanna go” after a playdate and Tony goes dead silent for hours.

[arthropodwithapen]

welcome. to my long awaited bookmark irondad spiderson fic rec bonanza

before we start gotta @ my beloveds who wish to see these bookmarks,, here u go <333 @cowboylikeyouu @constant-bi-panic @bexinator3000 buckle up cause this is gonna be a RIDE

biggest mysterio fuck you ever. obviously if i bookmarked it, it's a 10/10. unfinished, but still a 10/10! essentially, peter gets kidnapped by beck- i found this was lowkey written like a crime show (criminal minds or others) which i LOVED!! it also contains one of my favorite suspense theme scenes ever: kidnapped character escaping and fighting to get to their family, who are there and trying to save them- it creates such suspense and really keeps you on your toes, with a healthy dose of healing and hurt/comfort afterwards. the healing period always gets me, it's so rewarding to see someone heal after an event. definitely reccomend <33

any marvel fic by @bluesweatshirt fr got me on my fucking KNEES bro. i would sacrifice the soul of my firstborn for these fics. shit is IMPECCABLE chef's kiss. if ur looking for somewhere to start reading irondad fics and want something on the shorter side, these are absolutely the best place to start!! this is me. if u even care

oh boy. okay. this is... a roller coaster. it's definitely on the longer and heavier side of fanfics but god it is so beautiful. i finished this fic in one night in 2023 and i still continue to go back and read it. be mindful of the tags, folks- like i said, it's definitely a heavy one, but it's so fucking worth it to finish. i don't even have the words to describe it. this fic is ultimately soul shattering and tapes it back together at the same time. credit to @arthropodwithapen for creating this stunning masterpiece that legit changed my life <333

these had me both sobbing and laughing so hard i cried. my personal favs are the long game (i sobbed) and how to get banned from monaco (again) (i laughed so hard i cried)

rhodey my love <33 he doesn't get nearly enough attention and i love him!! uncle rhodey and peter bonding save me... save me uncle rhodey peter bonding

UGHHH i love these.. especially breaking the cycle of shame.. go read!! now!!

this is similar to spaghetti and red wine - soul shattering, taped back together, crying screaming rocking in a corner throwing up. go read and give this some love-- just mind the tags and warnings!!

HAHA this is like a trip. got me laughing giggling kicking my feet,, definitely a mood improver if u need a good laugh

short, sweet, silly- laughed a lot and heart was indeed warmed <33 (u can tell im running out of words,, it doesn't mean i don't love these!! my word vomit is just dying down)

my love (mine all mine) by spacecowboysfrommars

crying screaming throwing up staring at a wall desolately. i love it (i loved the lovely bones so much.. it's definetly a movie u should watch)

here's a link to the rest of my bookmarks if u guys wanna check out more irondad/harry potter/the last of us fics <33 MWAH enjoy besties, if u wanna yap to me about these fics feel free to send asks or message me!!

[arthropodwithapen]

When you’re coming to the end of writing a WIP and you’re not ready to let go of the characters or the world or anything and you just want to stay with them and write and write and write and write and write and……

[arthropodwithapen]

thats it thats his whole character

[arthropodwithapen]

Tony has been told his whole life that he’s selfish, narcissistic, not the type of person to lay down on the wire to let another person cross, not worthy of being a hero, nothing without his suit, overall a ‘bad person’. I think it would mean the world if someone he thought highly of (Peter) (the epitome of pure intentions, integrity, and love) was certain he was good too.

I wouldn’t think Tony’s usually told that he’s good. I think he would know it partly, because he’s not an idiot; he KNOWS he’s done good, but he would think he has done just as much bad. Realistically, I think a sentence with the words ‘you’ and ‘a good person’ is something he needs to hear.

[arthropodwithapen]

I love when you’re reading multiple fics by the same author and you start to spot all the phrases and adjectives they like to use

[arthropodwithapen]

Sometimes getting an idea for a fic feels like having your brain infected and writing it feels like exorcising a demon

[arthropodwithapen]

This has made my whole day thank you so so so much for your kind words :)))) lots of hugs

this is a love letter to the fic spaghetti and red wine by @arthropodwithapen on ao3. i always go back to it when i need something long to read that will encapsulate my entire attention span and make me physically shake. it currently holds #1 as my current favorite longest fic. i will never be able to hear the words spaghetti or red wine without war flashbacks and i mean that in the best way possible. save me spaghetti and red wine... spaghetti and red wine save me..

[arthropodwithapen]

Oh my goodness I’ve been nominated what on earth?!?!?!?!?! Thank you so much!! This is wild :O

Nominations are now open here and will close Midnight July 28th PST.

Stories that have won in the 2021-2023 Cycles are ineligible for story awards in 2024. Writers who have won writer awards previously are ineligible for writer awards in 2024. The full list of previous winners can be found here.

Round One Voting begins August 12th and ends Midnight August 26th. In Round One you may vote for 5 favorites.

Final Round Voting begins September 2nd and ends Midnight September 16th. In the Final Round you may vote for one only.

[arthropodwithapen]

did a first aid course and spent an embarrassing portion of the time thinking about how I might use all of the new things I learnt in my writing.... is this brain rot?

[arthropodwithapen]

Just wanted to say that I love all your stories, specially Spaghetti and Red Wine, that I already read twice.

Aaaad I have a prompt: Peter develops an alcohol (or other substance) problem after his aunt May dies. Tony, having taken him in, finds out and tries to help him.

Thank u ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words and for the prompt! Sincerest apologies that it took sooo long to get to, I've been so uninspired this year! Hope it's okay! :))))

Here it is!

Word count - 1724 words

***

Drowning was backwards, Peter decided.

It was all backwards. 

Day in and day out, his lungs burned and he gasped for air. It was unbearable. But as soon as he was drowning, he drew air into his lungs. The burn was quenched with the burn at the back of his throat. 

It was only when he wasn’t drowning that he felt most like he was suffocating. 

Backwards. 

Peter liked drowning. 

Spider-Man drowned too but no one knew it. It came with perks - the mask, the reputation, the rapport with the locals that made lying to them all the more easy.

With his mask he was Spider-Man, not Spider-Sixteen-year-old-kid. ‘Man’ as in, over twenty-one.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out how this would benefit him and Peter used to consider himself a genius. He wasn’t so sure now that he’d been consumed by the tides. A genius wouldn’t let this happen. 

Sixteen was pretty young to start drinking. Sixteen was pretty young for a lot of things. 

Sixteen was pretty young to have lost two parents. Four parents was simply excessive but Peter always had been something of an over achiever. Now he was nothing. He felt nothing under the waves. 

He drowned on rooftops. He drowned on top of moving trains, staring up at the clouds swirling over head. He drowned at every chance he could get and when he wasn’t drowning he was thinking of it - thinking how badly he needed it because not drowning was worse. Always worse. 

He did it alone. He kept it hidden - safe. Sacred. His dirty little secret.

The only issue with that was he’d never been great at keeping secrets from those he held close to him. But the more he drowned, the further he drifted from them and the easier it was to push them away, squeezing empty bottles in the growing space between himself and everyone else like he was building a wall of glass to hide behind. 

Drowning his sorrows - and he had no shortage of those - was a solitary activity. He wanted it to stay that way. People always tried to make him talk and think and do all the things he never wanted to do again. 

He didn’t want to think about it. About her. About any of them. About any of his dead. 

Tony Stark was perhaps an unfortunate oversight that caused the whole operation to crumble. The man hadn’t factored into the equation for quite some time and Peter barely registered him as a character in his story anymore. He wasn’t an issue.

Tony had been thrown in the deep end and had had a moody, bereaved teenager dumped on his doorstep simply because Peter had thought of no one else to call on the fateful night when the waves descended over him, pushing him so deep he couldn’t escape the current if he tried. 

They both stopped pretending either of them had any idea how to navigate the waters together pretty soon after. They skirted around each other to avoid difficult conversations neither of them wanted to have. They hardly ever saw each other anymore, even though Peter was now living with him. 

Gone were the days of easy lab sessions after school spent joking and laughing. Peter didn’t laugh anymore and Tony didn’t know what to do with that. So he didn’t do anything.

Tony never questioned his whereabouts. He never got close enough to smell the liquor on his breath. He never pried long enough to realise what he was doing.

Peter never once blamed him for it. It only made it easier to drown in peace.

It was destined to fall apart at some point, though. 

Spider-Man had been detrimental to his survival and he continued to be, though he spent less and less time actually active in the suit fighting crime like he had been doing for almost two years prior.

But he still tried now and then. Only, web swinging wasn’t the smartest idea when he was drowning and couldn’t remember the last time he bothered with the frivolities of food. 

He didn’t remember trying to swing to the Tower. He didn’t remember not making it to his room. He didn’t remember Tony finding him or how he got him down to the MedBay. He’d never forget the look on his face when he woke up, though. 

*** 

Peter had spent no shortage of time in the MedBay. When he was more active in the suit, he’d been injured on the regular and May and Tony would panic and rush him to the MedBay for Cho to stitch him up. He wondered how she’d try stitch this one up. 

Tony was there beside him, his hand covering his mouth. He didn’t look angry, like Peter had expected, but he was disappointed. Wasn’t that supposed to be worse? Peter just didn’t care. He had been caught and he didn’t care. His eyes told him he knew everything there was to know about him. There was no use hiding now. 

“You care to explain why your blood alcohol levels were through the roof?” Tony asked when he noticed Peter’s eyes were open.

“Probably the tequila.” 

Tony swore under his breath. “I swear to god, Parker, you have some serious explaining to do.”

Peter shrugged. 

Tony stood. “You know, I really thought you were better than this.” 

Peter stared at him. It was backwards. He was breathing easily but it felt like inhaling fire. 

“I just.. what were you thinking?” Tony’s hard stare pierced holes in his chest.

Peter shrugged. “Wasn’t.”

“Clearly! Do you even understand how reckless you’ve been? How stupid..” Tony seethed for minutes, pacing around, waving his finger and ranting about how much Peter had screwed up.

It was like the ferry but worse. But he didn’t tear up like he had then. He didn’t beg for the man’s understanding like he had then. He didn’t tell him he was sorry or that he wanted to be like him like he had then. He didn’t want to be anything. So he didn’t say anything.

Eventually, Tony sighed and brought his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. 

“Everyone always said - May always said” - Peter winced - “how alike we are. How much like me you are. And that.. and that always used to make me so proud.” Tony laughed humourlessly. “I’d have never thought that this is what they meant.” 

Peter kept watching him, blinking up at him while Tony worked through his anger and disappointment. It was all he could do.

Tony sighed. “Okay.” He nodded, as if steeling himself to say something unpleasant. “Right. I guess.. I guess it’s time.”

He didn’t speak for a long moment, he just stared down at the floor, deep in thought. 

Peter shifted uncomfortably. “Time?” He asked, his voice hoarse. 

“Yes, Peter. This was only supposed to be a temporary thing anyway.. and well, we all know I’m not qualified..” Tony rambled. And continued to ramble, talking around what Peter already understood. 

Tony was getting rid of him. It was simple. The ship was sinking and Tony was abandoning it to the merciless waves. Peter could drown peacefully now on his own, not worrying about dragging Tony under too. It was better this way.

“Peter?”

“Yeah?”

Tony spread his arms. “Well? Were you even listening?” 

Peter shrugged. “S’okay.” 

“What?”

“It’s okay. Wherever I go. It’s okay.”

“Okay? Is that all you have to say for yourself?”

Peter stared at the wall behind Tony, speaking expressionlessly. “What would you like me to say instead?” 

“I don’t.. I don’t know!” Tony ran a hand through his hair. “This is all just..” Tony waved his arms, looking for the right word. He couldn’t. 

“Backwards,” Peter said. 

Tony looked at him. Peter met his gaze head on. The man was silent, pursing his lips. His eyes were glassy. Tony’s shoulders sagged, he sighed and then slowly sank back into the chair. 

“Yeah. That’s.. Yeah. Backwards.”

They didn’t speak for a long time. It could have been hours, days, years. Peter aged an eternity in that silence. 

“I just.. Why?” Tony sounded broken.

Peter kept his mouth closed, worried that if he opened it, he’d start screaming and wouldn’t be able to stop. 

“Why won’t you talk to me? You know me. You know who I used to be.”

There was pain in his eyes. Peter wondered if it was like looking into a mirror for him - seeing all of his bad choices manifest in the mentee that was supposed to be better than he was.

“Say something.”

Peter had nothing to say. He had a million things to say. He never wanted to speak again. He wanted to dive into the salty depths of despair, sink down and swallow until his lungs stopped burning. 

“Peter, if there’s anyone that understands what you’re going through, it’s me. And I’m the last person that’s going to judge. I just want you to tell me.”

His lungs were filling up with water. He didn’t remember how to breathe.

"Just say it.”

“I’m drowning.”

Tony sucked in a breath. Peter waited for him to do something, say something - help him. Tony smiled a sad smile, relieved at the admission. 

“Go on,” Tony encouraged gently. Peter’s throat burned. His eyes did too. 

“I’m drowning and the only time I don’t feel like I’m drowning is when I drown  myself. It’s backwards.”

Tony reached forward and took Peter’s hand, covering it with his own. He didn’t remember the last time he’d touched another person. He looked at their hands. 

Tony’s was warm, Peter’s was freezing. Gradually, the warmth seeped into his and the places were their skin was touching reached equilibrium. Balance. Understanding. 

“I get it, Peter,” Tony said, so incredibly earnest that the burning overwhelmed him and a single tear spilled down his cheek. “I see you. I understand. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to get through this, okay?” He squeezed his hand. “Together.”

The urge to run and hide was there, to shy away into the dark depths of his mind and push everyone further back from himself. But Tony was a lifeboat. He had been drowning once too and maybe that meant he could be the one that helped him learn to swim. 

“Okay.” Relief. 

Backwards.