bg3scenarios

[bg3scenarios]

Gale: It’s impossible.

Tav: …Until we do it

Gale: No, just impossible

Tav: Dangit

[bg3scenarios]

Cleric: Please stop dying

Barbarian: No

Fighter: No

Rogue: No

Cleric: Please stop killing them?

DM: No❤️

[bg3scenarios]

Astarion: I like it hot

Karlach: I like it HOT

Gale: I like it reasonable temperature

[bg3scenarios]

Rook: That guy looks scary

Varric: What? Solas?

Varric: Nah!

Varric: That’s an old friend!

Varric: A pal!

Varric: I can talk him down

*Varric walks up to Solas*

Varric: Hi, Solas!

*Solas immediately punches Varric in the face*

Varric, slurring: …I may have overestimated our relationship

*Varric collapses out cold*

Neve: …and that, kids, is why being socially awkward can be dangerous

Rook: Storyteller mode isn’t enough

Rook: Where’s the ‘I have autism, please help me through social situation cutscenes’ mode

[bg3scenarios]

Emmrich: Let’s save the world

Rook: I am going to climb that old man like a tree

Emmrich: What?

Rook: What?

[bg3scenarios]

Tav, sweating: Nice top surgery

Rook: Huh?

Tav: Your top surgery looks really good

Rook: Oh… thanks?

Rook: Yours too

Tav: Is yours vanilla?

Rook: Yeah! Dragon Age has medieval Claire’s

Tav: I’m so jealous

Tav: I’m still waiting for my mod to update

[bg3scenarios]

Lucanis: YOU WERE IN MY DREAM

Davrin: HAHA no way

Davrin: was my fit hard

Lucanis: you had no fit on

[bg3scenarios]

Astarion: Tell me, darling

Astarion: Would you love me even if I was evil?

Halsin: I do love you, my heart

Astarion: I know, but-

Astarion: …Wait

Astarion: What are you implying??

*Halsin whistling and looking away*

[bg3scenarios]

Karlach: I’ve been working out

Karlach: Getting bigger

*Karlach flexes*

Karlach: What do you think?

Wyll, blushing: I love arm

[bg3scenarios]

Guard: Names please

Lucanis: Lucanis Dellamorte

Neve: Neve Gallus

Harding: Lace Harding

Bellara: Bellara Lutare

Harding: Ohhhh

Bellara: What?

Harding: This whole time I thought your name was Bellara Lutara

Harding: Like you were always one breath away from telling me you have The Best of Both Worlds

[bg3scenarios]

Taash: I just wanted to open up about something…

Taash: I… like girls

Harding: Same

Neve: Same

Bellara: Same

Lucanis: Same

Harding: Ok, you get out of here

Taash: Wow, I feel a lot better now

Harding: Because you know we’re all gay?

Taash: Because I got to see you be mean to Lucanis

[bg3scenarios]

Raphael: I would never submit to a man

Raphael: Or a woman for that matter

Haarlep: Right…

Haarlep: …What about a nonbinary incubus?

Raphael: …

Raphael: …

Raphael: …Be in my room in 10

[bg3scenarios]

Gortash: I don’t have time for kissing

Gortash: I have to work

Durge: Ok

Durge: Wow, my lips are so luscious

Durge: And soft

Durge: And quivering

Durge: Such a shame that-

Gortash: Now listen here you little shit

[bg3scenarios]

Gale: I know, you’ve been feeling unappreciated

Lucanis: Yeah

Gale: And misunderstood

Lucanis: Yeah!

Gale: But you aren’t worthless

Lucanis: Not at all

Gale: Now let’s say it together

Gale & Lucanis: I’m proud to be the camp cook!

[bg3scenarios]

Rook: You’re so hot

Emmrich: …me?

Emmrich: I thought I’d be to old for you

Rook: My buddy, my pal, my homie, my friend, my colleague, my cohort, my guy

Rook: I love old men

Emmrich: I’m feeling slightly objectified..

Emmrich: …but I think I’m into it

[bg3scenarios]

Tav: I like a tall woman

Tav: With a nice, big ass

Tav: Just sayin…

Tav: Like Tiefling Barbarian, Karlach Cliffgate

[bg3scenarios]

Varric: I wish we could all get along like we used to in the second game... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...

Minsc: My friend, you do not even go here

Jaheira: Are you even from this game series?

Varric: No... I just have a lot of feelings...

Jaheira: Ok, go home