bleeding-golden

[bleeding-golden]

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

[bleeding-golden]

Writing Tip

Don't overly edit before you finish a first draft.

Get that draft down, then edit.

You'll never finish if you keep editing and don't just continue.

You got this.

[bleeding-golden]

it’s new years eve my dad just found an essay my late grandfather wrote on orpheus & eurydice in 1953 i just listened to being alive from company and ive had two glasses of wine. happy almost 2025 i am already crying

[bleeding-golden]

i hope that in 2025 u get to take more walks, read more books, connect with more people whom u love and who love u, achieve ur goals (even if ur goals are having no goals and just living in the moment), exercise fun hobbies, move from a place of self-direction, and weave together a beguiling assortment of beautiful little moments. remember that no feeling lasts forever. love u

[bleeding-golden]

I looked at my mother because I was a version of my mother. I looked away from my mother because I was a version of my mother. I was me, but I was also her—my mother, and I understood this all too well.

— Nora Lange, "Dog Star", pub. The Rupture (#120)

[bleeding-golden]

I want someone to give me the kind of love I cannot give to myself. The little things. I want a lover who leans over the kitchen counter to put cake in my mouth. And wipes the crumbs when they spill over. Someone who cannot resist tucking my hair behind my ears and holds my hand and soothes the wild winds of worry with a soft voice.

I want the kind of companionship that stretches and never snaps. Where you soften and harden together.

I want the world to make sense in a way it never has. I want long drives and removing my shoes before I enter your home, and all the other things that seem impossible right now.

There is something so big and all encompassing about this want; it's shape, threatening to swallow me whole. I gasp at the possibility of it, the impossibility of it, the fear of wanting so much that you are almost scared of chasing it away.

[bleeding-golden]

― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.” 

― Kahlil Gibran, The Madman

― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

“All freedom is relative—you know too well—and sometimes it’s no freedom at all, but simply the cage widening far away from you, the bars abstracted with distance but still there, as when they “free” wild animals into nature preserves only to contain them yet again by larger borders. But I took it anyway, that widening. Because sometimes not seeing the bars is enough”

― Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

― Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

“Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownership of that freed self was another.”

― Toni Morrison, Beloved

― Jean-Paul Sartre

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill of things unknown but longed for still and his tune is heard on the distant hill for the caged bird sings of freedom.

― Maya Angelou, The Complete Collected Poems

― Franz Kafka, Amerika

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“Freedom is the will to be responsible for ourselves.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

― E.B. White, The Trumpet of the Swan

“This tremendous world I have inside of me. How to free myself, and this world, without tearing myself to pieces. And rather tear myself to a thousand pieces than be buried with this world within me.”

― Kafka Franz, Diaries, 1910-1923

― John Fowles, The French Lieutenant’s Woman

“And I want to be held down. I don’t know what to do with the horrifying freedom that can destroy me.”

― Clarice Lispector, The Passion According to G.H.

― Franz Kafka

[bleeding-golden]

I am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from

[bleeding-golden]

basically if you are lonely rn even if you are so lonely you think you could just die because you will never stop being lonely you have to keep going regardless because things will not always be that way and wonderful people will enter your life when you least expect it. this sounds totally hollow i’m sure because these kinds of reassurances sounded hollow to me when i was so lonely i thought i could just die but i am okay now and i love people who love me too and you will also be okay and you will also love people who love you too.

[bleeding-golden]

Does anyone know how to convert a Tumblr side blog to become a main blog?

[bleeding-golden]

bisexual guilt about liking cis men is weird and the people who encourage it are weirder

[bleeding-golden]

I replied on my fandom account (chugging_bleach) but thank you so much for answering and doing god's work. Any fanfic recs are welcome and loved <3

Hey it’s nice to see you be active for this series! I finished the anime and got so confused by what was happening. I plan to read the manga but my heart won’t be able to handle not having somethings explained which I know I can’t avoid since the mangaka left a lot of things unexplained.

What was Yuki’s past life with Luca? Why is Luca so devoted to Yuki? Why did Yuki die in the previous life? Did Luca ever betray Yuki?

And will the manga be worth reading or the unexplained things will drive me crazy?

Sorry in advance for the long ask and multiple questions, but I am really confused.

Sorry for the delay in response!! So the anime deviates from the manga after Senshirou and Kuroto are introduced. I assume they did it to wrap things up since the manga was still ongoing. And you’re right the prepare yourself for loose threads.

We don’t know much about Yuzuki’s (girl Yuki) life. We don’t know how she met Luka or how their relationship developed. My headcanon is that she met him during a battle and saw the good in him so her good nature won him over.

She died slowly and painfully because as the resident healer she’s giving herself to the Zweilts and absorbing their pain. Over time it took a toll on her body and she died pretty young. That’s why everyone feels so bad for her/him cause damn that’s a sacrifice

Luka didn’t do a damn thing so why the self hate?? The betrayal isn’t officially explained. Could be referring to the foreshadowing we were given. It seems like Luka was thinking of leaving Yuki’s side for a bit for Yuki’s sake. Then again you could argue his betrayal had something to do with Yuzuki’s death. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to kill her so he had to watch her die slowly? Theories abound

I personally think the manga is worth it because it expands on things and introduces characters that weren’t in the manga. The biggest thing that bugs people is Yuzuki and Luka’s past aren’t explained. Also there’s some whiplash before the end. I won’t spoil it but something out of no where happened and then the manga ends. The end is more of a stopping point so if she wants to return Hotaru can. But if she doesn’t, it’s not like it ended in the middle of an arc

I don’t mind at all! I know this fandom has no answers anywhere online so I’ll help however I can :)

[bleeding-golden]

Date Ideas: Desi Edition

I'm in my TS Lover Era and I need some Pune date ideas so uh.. enjoy my thinking process ig

A proper date: dinner and drinks. Proper manners and polite conversation over good food and good beverages/drinks. You and your date pretend to be very serious adults with very serious jobs, and when you walk out of the restaurant you share a secret laugh as if you've pulled the greatest prank ever.

Chaha date. Standing on the side of a road under the insufficient cover of the chai stall with your fingers gripping the edge of plastic cups or mud tumblers, taking a deep sniff and closing your eyes at the smell of veldoda that wafts up. Looking up and catching their gaze already fixed on you, and looking back down, feeling the heat spread over your cheeks. You attribute it to the chaha's steam, but you know that's a lie. When you look back up, they're wating for you. They wink, and you nearly drop your cup, making them stifle a giggle.

Kulfi date. It's a crowded lane and you cram into the little hole in the wall kulfi parlour that's been there since your parents were children, excited smiles on both your faces. You order laal peru and request them to sprinkle chilli powder on top. Your partner gives you a dramatic scandalized look that has you cracking up and orders a sitafal kulfi without the chilli, please and thank you. With a lot of whining and teasing and mischievous smiles, you finally get them to taste your kulfi, and it ends with them ordering it for themself. You lean back in your chair and grin smugly even as they roll their eyes.

Book thrifting. Hands held, you walk into your usual book shop, a smile lighting up your face at the familiar smell of mogra and yellowing pages that hangs in the little room. It's a tiny shop in the basement of a shady old plaza, but it always has the best second hand books. The idea is to buy a book you think the other will enjoy, and then discuss them when you are done reading them. You pick up Ruined by Paula Morris, because you remember the three M's that your date swears by: Magic, Murder and Mystery. This is a perfect blend of all three, and you rather think they'll enjoy it. When you meet them at the counter, they have Nashtaneer by Rabindranath Thakur in their hands. You both grin at each other.

Juna Bazaar is as crowded as always. You giggle as they grip your wrist and drag you from shop to shop, rambling about their lecture in college. The sonchafa that you had tucked behind their ear is still there, and it makes something warm settle in your heart. You keep your mind on the mission though: buy three of the most interesting things you see, and then explain why you think it is interesting. They gasp and snap up a beautiful crystal vial like a magpie. It turns out to be kajal, made the traditional way. "You have to!" they insist, "it'll look so good with your pretty eyes!" You turn red and accept the little wand, dragging it between your eyelids. When you're done, your partner stares at you with their lips parted. Just as you're about to wave in front of their eyes and ask if they're okay, they lean forward and steal a lightning-fast kiss. "Too darn pretty for your own good, you are."

Camp area date! You two take a whole day to just stroll through Camp, pulling each other into random shops and cafés, looking at everything and eating from restaurants and roadside stalls alike. Your partner drags you deep into a sketchy looking plaza, and you find a clothing shop that sells the most random fashion items. You go to an ittr and perfume store. You visit Pasteur Ice Cream, Cafe Peter, the chaat stalls near Clover Centre and the barbeque corn stalls a little ways from Kumar Plaza. At the end of the day, you go home and show each other all your purchases; they bought you a bejewelled purse that goes with that one pair of your heels and you squeal over it, you bought them a chandan attar because you remember them mentioning it being their favourite smell and they immediately rub it over their wrists with a bright smile.

The two of you are tucked into a little corner of the garden. Sitting on an old bedsheet with several lunchboxes filled with bhel, samosa, kaju katli, shrikhand, slices of mango and watermelon and a bunch of green grapes. Your phone plays a familiar tune— Ishq Wala Love, and you're mouthing the lyrics in the most dramatic style that you can, revelling in the laughter of your partner. There is a mogra cha gajra braided into your hair and three roses tucked behind their ear; your little gifts to each other. Their eyes gleam bright with mirth, lips curved upward into a wide grin, and you can't help but lean forward and press a soft kiss to their lips. This picnic date is the best idea you've had in a while, you think, and the late spring flowers in bloom are the perfect addition.

.

Tag list: @mad-who-ra @yehsahihai @natures-marvel @musaafir-hun-yaaron @hum-suffer @h0bg0blin-meat @orgasming-caterpillar @wyvrens @kanha-sakhi

[bleeding-golden]

I have been struggling with a lot lately. It’s been making me want to write less. It’s not about breaking the rules, it’s more that I’m afraid of not being good at all and then what’s the point of continuing to write?

Hello fellow authors! ✍️

Just a quick reminder: WRITE WHAT YOU WANT

Don’t let the opinions of others dim your creativity or dictate your writing. Embrace your ideas, no matter how wild or unconventional they may seem.

Some of the greatest works came from breaking the rules.

[bleeding-golden]

I love it when people make characters I love it when people tell me about their OCs and why they're so cool I love it when people write about their characters and put those characters into different situations I love it when people create characters for existing universes I love it when people create their own universes I love it when people make characters I think it's so cool to express yourself through character creation I love the characters that I've made and I love your characters also please keep making characters

[bleeding-golden]

isn't it funny how life is wonderful and messy and hard like one day you are crying your eyes out because you feel lost and the next day you are packing your stuff ready to leave your worries behind and start a new chapter in a different country and then you find all these people who love and support you and you still feel lost and you still have no idea what your life is supposed to look like but you're enjoying pink sunset and book dates at the park and overpriced coffees and maybe you just have to enjoy the breeze without expecting a storm

[bleeding-golden]

“I appreciate your concern. None of this is your fault. It’s me. It’s me and my head.”

— Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Violet Dickinson written c. January 1909