btwbriana

[btwbriana]

Oooo sure!

1. I don’t care if your contagious - pierce the veil

2. Rosemary - deftones

3. So far so fake - pierce the veil

4. Where’s your head at - eurotripp

5. Harness your hopes (b-side) - pavement

Haiiiii

I always get tagged in tag games but I never start one so here goes

Ik it’s boring

Name your 5 current fav songs

I’ll go first

(In no particular order)

- Linkin Park- in the end

- system of a down- sugar

- slipknot- bone church

- black sabbath- sweet leaf

- slipknot- eyeless

@sonya-aks @btwbriana @therealsanemi @thebunnynurse @trans-sharkb0y @zombie-gurl999 @r3alhuman and any other moots

U don’t have to do it thp

[btwbriana]

honestly fucking tired of people being like “don’t sh that’s bad and hurts yourself”

it’s MY BODY and i’ll hurt myself if i feel like it.

[btwbriana]

average day for me.

one day I want to kill myself then the next day I want to change the world.

it’s so confusing.

[btwbriana]

sometimes I feel like I’m not real and I’m just performing my life for every other person around me. I don’t feel fucking real and I’m always fucking miserable. I have 0 friends and I always put so much effort to reach out but get no response. My mom is very judgmental of my friends as some of them are trans and she doesn’t get it and thinks it’s weird. I feel fucking empty and jealous of my siblings who have fifty million friends. I see things a lot around me and it fucking freaks me out.

What’s my purpose?

[btwbriana]

Does anyone else ever feel like their self harm isn’t valid?

Like the cuts aren’t deep enough or the burns not bad enough to be actually taken seriously?

[btwbriana]

How Christians sound to me now.

[btwbriana]

The overwhelming urge to step in front of a moving vehicle ❤️

[btwbriana]

been having lots of thoughts like this lately.

lots of wishing for this to happen to me.

maybe then I would get some peace.

[btwbriana]

🔥🔥🔥

❤️❤️❤️

[btwbriana]

copy and pasted from my notes app last year...

I’m so ashamed. I like the puppies biting me. I like it and I let it happen sometimes and it gets rid of the urges. I have long marks and I can continue.

I hate eating. I mean there are things I like to eat of course but with my always closed up throat it’s hard to eat. I don’t eat enjoy it either. I would like to not eat but my parents notice and give me something to eat. I eat granola every day in the morning and it just tastes bleh. Water is even worse, it takes so much energy and time and steps to get some fucking water. I don’t enjoy or like it.

but wouldn’t you feel like hungry and thirsty or something how??

yes and no

[btwbriana]

totally don't relate. *wink wink*

me after telling my therapist im not self harming and i have no urges too. (im lying):

[btwbriana]

can someone assassinate me in the night pretty please?

[btwbriana]

how it feels after you have a big cutting session and then leave the house

also I made a meme! congratulate me for my creativity

[btwbriana]

fuck you, why the fuck is this an ad.

[btwbriana]

notes app from last year...

It is so funny how my whole family does not know or see any of this lol. My internal daily struggles are so different from what I say. Ah everyone is going to say you are lying or that never happened or I didn’t know that no. It’s so true though I promise, I live a different life away from you. I am suffering and you don’t even know. It’s so hard.

[btwbriana]

I'm shit at art, but give me a blade and some tissues and I'll make a masterpiece.

[btwbriana]

I will always remember the look on my mom's face when she saw my cuts for the first time. The way she grabbed my arm. The horror on her face. The way my heart sank.

I forgot to roll my sleeves up.

Fuck.