call-of-duty-incorrect-quotes - Tumblr blog

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Soap: How would you guys like to die?

Ghost: On the battlefield, covered in the blood of my enemies.

Gaz: I don’t know. But hopefully, it will be quick and painless.

Rudy: I’d like to die doing something meaningful for the people I love and care about.

Alejandro: I don’t care how I die, as long as I’m fighting for what we believe.

Price: Soap… Why are you writing these down?

Soap: I’m looking for ideas.

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Horangi: Everyone says they’re kinky and want to experiment. But none of them will let me drain their blood for my rituals…

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Soap: Goldilocks was so stupid for not wanting to sleep on a bed too big for her.

Soap, faking a little girl’s voice: Oh noooo, I’m too comfy! … Shut up.

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Overheard at Lieutenant Riley’s office:

Soap: Are you going to call me beautiful today or do I have to call Graves?

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Soap: So… König.

Ghost: What about him?

Soap: We were at the mess hall and he tried to ask for cutlery but forgot the word and ended up saying “I need food weapons”

Soap: I want you to know I will now be referring to them by nothing else.

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Ghost: One of the Shadows told me he didn’t like my snake tattoo but one of the Vaqueros who doesn’t speak English very well told me “Cobra beautiful”.

Ghost: So fuck you, Graves.

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Soap: I want you to be my boyfriend.

Ghost: Convince me first.

Soap: If you were my boyfriend, I would grow a mushroom big enough for you to sit under.

Ghost: Deal.

Price: What the f-

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Ghost: And this is my Sergeant. You can call him Soap.

Ghost: He’s a needy butthead with only one brain cell.

RandomPerson: Wow, you really hate him.

Ghost: I would die for him.

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Soap: Have you ever wondered about how an author would describe you in a novel?

Price: “He walks with the confidence of a man who knows he's doing the right thing.”

Gaz: “His laughter was like thunder. A hot thunder.”

Ghost: “And then there’s this asshole...”

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Overheard at the training grounds:

Ghost: I mean, do what makes you happy, but I’m silently judging.

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Soap: I sang for 17,000 minutes this year.

Gaz: How can you possibly know that?

Soap: Spotify said I listened to 17,000 minutes of music and I always sing along.

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Soap: You're like our cool dad.

Price: I'm not your dad.

Gaz: Dear diary, today we were disowned by our own father.

Ghost: Father.

Price: Not you too, Simon.

Ghost: Father. I crave violence.

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Overheard at Captain Price’s office.

Ghost: A 72-hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.

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Overheard at Lieutenant Riley’s office.

Soap: I accidentally used the dog's shampoo today and I’m feeling like such a good boy…

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Texting the TF141.

Soap: Hello, I’m sorry for the late notice but I cannot find the specific outfit I imagined myself in for this mission and thus can no longer deploy with you all.

Soap: Many thanks.

Price: Simon, get him.

Ghost: Already on my way.

Soap: Wait. No!

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Texting.

Soap: Need to finally get my life in order, so I’ve decided to take an extended break from social media.

Soap: I will see you all again in 20 minutes.

Soap: Best of luck with everything and stay safe.

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Soap: As far as plans go, this is not a good one.

Ghost: Johnny, this was your idea.

Soap: I didn't think you'd actually say yes.