dessakeepswriting - Tumblr blog

[dessakeepswriting]

I couldn’t remember anymore when was the last time I had put into words my thoughts. Things have changed in me recently. I’m beginning to feel so empty. I used to say, I am fine doing everything by myself. But, my heart keeps yearning for someone who’ll be there for me at the end of the day. Someone who’ll listen to my stories how my day went. Someone to be with as I lay my tired body in bed after an exhausting day. I am not getting younger anymore, and I am feeling the need to be loved and cared of too. But, I have lost hope already that somewhere and sometime I’ll get to meet that person. I guess I am really one of those people meant to be alone forever. Perhaps this is what my life would be.

[dessakeepswriting]

I hope life is gentle to you. We’re definitely miles apart but you are always in my prayers. Please be safe always. Please choose to be happy always.

— Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

“I can’t tell anymore when I’ve become a poet. Is it when I fell for you or when I got my heart broken by you?”

—Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Dear, when are you going to stop crying? Aren’t you getting tired? You’ve had enough, you did everything. You’ve proven that you’re worth of their love. Yet, they’ve slipped the opportunity to see you as a gem. It’s not your fault. Trust me! There’s nothing wrong with you. In seven billion hearts that exist in this world, you are unique — exceptionally beautiful. So please, shed those tears. They don’t deserve your tears and sorrow. You can surpass this. Perhaps not today, but it will come. Just trust yourself. Be patient. You’ll get through this. Your pain will just fade. Trust me.

— Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

“My world has just been shaken again with just one unexpected call from someone I used to love absolutely. This only proves how weak and fragile I am when it comes to love.”

— Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

“We were never perfect. We argued from mundane things that we failed to do. From words that we said unintentionally but had been understood in a different way. From actions that we did yet we only saw the flaws in them. Yet, it did not stop me from loving you genuinely.”

— Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I’m still missing you in every beat of my heart.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I deserve someone who’ll embrace all my flaws and imperfections. Someone who’ll never give up, no matter how challenging our days will go by. Someone who’ll see my worth even in the brim of our misunderstandings. Someone who’ll keep believing in my strengths. Someone who’ll uplift me in the lowest moments of my life.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone whom I’ve been fervently praying to meet. Someone whom I keep wishing to every star in the night sky. Someone whom I hope is also praying and wishing for me.

Someone.

Someone.

Someone.

I can’t wait for the day when these hopes and wishes turn into reality.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

It’s been years since the last communication that we had and I know that I have done everything just to forget you. But, I don’t understand why all this time you suddenly wanted to know how I’ve been doing.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I don't really know what is going on with me. There are moments that I would be staring blankly at somewhere as if I am waiting for someone or something to appear in front me. I could feel my heart pounding erratically that it seems ripping my chest. I could hear the hands of clock ticking in every second. Vivid and vague memories just keep flickering in a seemingly endless way. My thoughts keep wandering to places that are unimaginable -- only to realize that I am alone AGAIN. Everything is puzzling me. I am fumbling to take the path that will lead me to where the answers could be.

Why is this happening?!? Why?!?

For one moment, I just found myself browsing through old photos -- making me smile for a while. It made me realize I was at my happiest with someone I prayed and wished for. Those beaming eyes that promised me forever and eternity. That saccharine smile that turned my knees in jelly like and made me wobbly.  Those hands that held me and secured me when I was terrified. The hands that calmed me when I felt the world was shaking under my feet. The assuring warmth from those arms that comforted me when things around me brought chills in my spine. That person who believed in my strengths and how I could expand my horizons. That person who sustained me courage when I was at my weakest point. That person who loved me and I loved back -- genuinely. That was then... that was such a long time ago.

As I am brought back to present, I've come to realize that the person we loved might have left us (for whatever reasons it could be)  but all the memories they have imparted will linger --  perhaps eternally.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

You never really stop feeling that pain, you just become greater than it. One day you look around, and everything else feels small by comparison. You got better in dealing with it. For pain is not meant to be felt forever. It just fades gradually because you’ve won over it.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Long phone conversations at night that lasted till dawn — that’s how it used to be.

But now, I spend my nights thinking about you till dawn — since the break up.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I've never forgotten you. I've never forgotten how I feel for you. No matter how impossible I seem to be because of how I act, I am still in love with you. I don't give a shit, if people think I'm crazy loving you. Because I care for you and I love you. I just hate that every thing is so untimely for us. That is really what hurting me. I'm still longing to see you. I really do.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Even if you spend your entire day recalling the memories that you were together,

at the end of every reminiscence — you still go back to reality that “IT’S OVER” and it still hurts.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

Despite the hurt, I still hold on to the littlest of hope burning in me. Perhaps one day, you might remember every thing between us and you'll come back.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

After the break up, the worst is when I go to bed. Because I realized that it’s truly over between us.

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻

[dessakeepswriting]

I couldn’t tell which is hurting me more. Is it the reality that everything between us is over or the hope I keep burning that you might still come back?

Thoughts of Dessa 🌻