dunenby

[dunenby]

logging off for today

goodbye! i’m logging off for the day. just want to say that i love you!

[dunenby]

trevorspace

hey people! so i decided to create a trevorspace... if any of you are on it, meet me there!

https://www.trevorspace.org/profile/644657-dunenby/

[dunenby]

parts of gender

assigned sex: everyone, sadly, is assigned a sex at birth. most people are assigned either female or male, but there is actually a third sex. that is intersex. people who are male assigned at birth are born with penises and people who are female assigned at birth are born with vaginas. a male assigned at birth will also have xy chromosomes and a female assigned at birth will yy chromosomes. if you are intersex, you’ll have sex characteristics from both sexes. sadly, only female and male are on the birth certificates, so usually, the doctor just assigns one of those to the baby, telling the parents to raise their child like that. in the future, that may lead to dysphoria or confusion about themself from the kid.

gender roles: these are the stereotypes and roles society has given females and males. yes, there are more genders, but societal roles haven’t accepted that. either way, gender roles aren’t fair. usually, it’s that females are supposed to be emotional and weak and stupid. males are supposed to be practical and strong and smart. but they have been changing a little now that things are more modern. a lot of kids my age see that girls are smart and practical and maybe still weak and emotional. and boys are supposed to like sports and video games and be bad with grades and are stupid. of course, they aren’t better, because no matter what stereotype we put on someone, whether good or bad, is fair.

gender expression: this is how you express your gender. it’s about what you like to do and your name and your pronouns. it’s different from gender roles, because gender roles are about what society has said is for females and what is supposed to be for males, while gender expression is about the “stereotypes” you put on yourself- they aren’t actually stereotypes, but it’s just the way you express yourself. the way you make yourself look has to do with your expression. for example, if you want short hair or you want to wear makeup, that’s part of your expression. and it can be any combination of things. also, it might have to do with physical body parts. so, for example, you might not want breasts, so you might wear a binder or get top surgery, if you have breasts originally. these are usually described with the terms feminine, androgynous, or masculine. for short, femme, andro, and masc. usually, a femme expression would be long hair and makeup. an andro expression would be neutral clothing and maybe a specific type of hair cut that can be described as both femme and masc. if a girl wears “boy clothes”, they might be considered as andro. a masc person would usually wear loose and longer shorts and have short hair. as i mentioned above, your name and pronouns is a big part of your gender expression. remember, that none of this has to match the expectations of your gender. the same goes for your name and pronouns. if you identify as a boy, but the name sophia feels right, that’s okay. and you can use any pronouns- neo pronouns, she/her pronouns if you are a guy, she/they or he/they pronouns. you should experiment with different pronouns and names before you find one that feels the most right to you.

gender identity: gender identity is what you feel inside about your gender. it has nothing to do with what you like to do or how you dress. i like my hair and i think i will wear makeup in the future, but i still identify as nonbinary, because that’s how i feel inside. i didn’t understand that until i started exploring my feelings. it’s hard to explain. but try to think about who you are. like, what do you see when you picture yourself. do you see a girl or a boy? for me, i don’t really see anything. i just see... me.

(check out my gender unicorn post to learn more about this and explore more about your gender.)

[dunenby]

nonbinary terms for binary words

mrs/mr: mx

lady/lord: liege

mom/dad: nini or bibi

sister/brother: sibling

goddess/god: goddex

girlfriend/boyfriend: partner

niece/nephew: nibling

aunt/uncle: pibling

grandmother/grandfather: grandy

(if another term works better, use that. you can invent words that feel gender neutral or just right to you. if you are wondering about different words, just message me. i will reply as soon as i can.)

[dunenby]

this is the gender unicorn. later on, i’m going to talk about some stuff relating to gender identity and sexual attraction, so this is something you could use to help with that. try filling it out with just how you feel right now in this moment. if you feel like you might be genderfluid, fill it out for multiple days and see patterns. you can use this to figure out anything about your gender or attraction. you should add lines if you feel like there are other things you want to include.

[dunenby]

do you have to have dysphoria to transition?

i read this book. it was called “becoming nicole”. it was really good, and it was about a transgender girl. it said that she had to get a diagnosis of gender dysphoria to be able to transition. it didn’t elaborate, but i kept thinking about that. why would you need dysphoria to transition?

back then, i reasoned that, why else would you be transitioning? but now, i’m thinking about it more. i know that if i went to see if i had gender dysphoria medically, i probably won’t get diagnosed. i only have dysphoria about my breasts and waist. and it’s not like i want a penis.

but transitioning seems like it could be an option for me. i don’t know if these rules still exist, but if they do, transitioning is legally not an option for me. it’s fine, because i can wear chest binders, but it isn’t fair. this is my opinion. comment if you agree with it and your opinion of this topic.

[dunenby]

how my dysphoria feels

for a long time, i thought it wasn’t dysphoria i was feeling (i have dysphoria about my breasts). i thoughts i just disliked what they looked like. but i slowly began to realize that it was dysphoria. because i can spend hours in the bathroom, watching my reflection. i just stare at my breasts and think about what i want.

i didn’t want to say i had dysphoria because i didn’t want to be taking a label that isn’t mine. but that’s what it is.

and now, when i think about my breasts, every time i change, i feel a lot of anxiety. i think about how they are going to grow as i grow older. soon, i can’t just cover them with a sports bra and loose shirts. and i have to wait six years to be able to buy a chest binder, because i’m too scared to come out (so i have to wait until i go to college).

and that’s what my dysphoria feels like. i know it’s probably different for any of you who experience it, but i hope that this might help you in figuring out if you are experiencing dysphoria. and i hope that helps you figure out your identity.

[dunenby]

my favorite lgbtq+ songs

this is home by cavetown. this is about being transgender and i also feel like it’s about dysphoria. i really relate to the singer when he talks about his feelings about himself. it’s probably my favorite out of all of these. also, the original recording has a more female voice, so if you want to listen to it with his voice now, you should go to his channel (cavetown) and search up “this is home” in the search bar. you’ll find him singing it again now that his voice is deeper.

girls by girl in red. i’m sure you know about this song, or at least who girl in red is. it’s about liking girls and about how the singer learned she was gay. her voice is really beautiful too.

the village by wrabel. this is about being transgender in a homophobic community and family. i can’t really relate to that, because most people here are super accepting, but it’s an important song. you should check out the music video, because you can watch the song play out in a video.

[dunenby]

seeing my assigned gender on a document

hello people! i’m back. so i just remembered this today, and it really frustrates me. so i had a dentist appointment. i was lying back on the bed in a way where i could see the computer. my dentist was writing numbers and stuff on her notepad every few seconds, so i had the chance to look at her screen. obviously, it’s not really interesting, but my head turned in that direction, so i could see what was there.

i could see all my birth information: my name, my birthday, and my gender. and yeah, my name and gender is wrong. but what really triggered me was the gender part. i could see “f” printed out on the screen. in that moment, and when i really think about it, it’s messed up. super messed up. like, the doctors are assuming these super important things about us and writing it down on a document like it’s nothing. they are assigning us our gender. that’s like assigning us our favorite colour or assigning us our future spouse. like, these are things that aren’t just so obvious. if you really think about, it feels... horrible. and like i said before, messed up.

and then the fact that i can’t put i’m nonbinary. like, that’s not possible. we don’t need to assign gender at birth. what does it tell us? what’s helpful about it? how is it useful? i think that, with my kids, in the future, i’ll use they/them pronouns and a gender neutral name. then, when they can feel whatever gender they are without anything getting in the way. they’ll be able to change their name if they want something more binary. they’ll be able to change their pronouns.

it’s also super frustrating how i can’t just change my name easily. i have to wait until i’m 18. that’s when i’ll have a drivers license and a lot more accounts to have to change my name on. and speaking of that, my school blocks people from changing their name on the school google account. i understand that, because a lot of people are irresponsible with being able to change your name at this age, but every time someone refers to me with my dead name, i feel a lot of dysphoria. and i feel really alone,

okay. so this was basically a rant. but this is how i feel. comment if you relate.

[dunenby]

5 posts! i really don’t know what i’m doing now... i just thought i’d meet at least one person today... i’m not ungrateful, but... anyway, i’ve spent all morning on tumblr, and i’ve been procrastinating my work. please message or comment on this post if you see this... i’m starting to question doing this at all. that’s how it always happens. like, i make a social media account. no one sees it, so i delete it. but it’s only the first day! i just... i expect so much of myself. 

[dunenby]

just saw this post!!! please help this prson!!!

🛑 STOP PLEASE

🛑 STOP PLEASE

🛑 STOP PLEASE

My husband had surgery today, and turns out he now has throat cancer. It is in his esophagus. I’m including pics below. I am the only one working, so it’s really taking a toll having to pay the bills, taking care of the kids, and paying for my husbands medical needs and everyday needs. Idek how I’m going to get gas or pay the power bill at this point. The last post died, and didn’t do well, so I am making another one. If you can help, thank you, if not, then please reblog.

Cashapp: thatfairywitch

Venmo: thatfairywitch

PayPal

[dunenby]

skoliosexuality

hello there! i’m going to talk about skoliosexuality... so what it means is that you are attracted to members of the nonbinary or trans community. it means that you don’t really care about the genitalia of a person.

if you’re skoliosexual, i totally support you. and i also have a question for you. does your attraction start once you know someone’s gender identity? or is it like you have some inner sense of a person’s gender identity (and is this possible?)? or are you attracted to androgynous people? or someone who’s face shape doesn’t match the way they dress? i hope that doesn’t sound offensive. i’m really curious about learning more about this type of attraction.

[dunenby]

this zodiac goddess is a lesbian. which zodiac do you think she is? also, did you know that the nonbinary term for goddess or god is goddex. just some random thoughts.

[dunenby]

my favorite youtubers

lauren elloise (cis girl she/her lesbian). Heya! I'm Lauren Elloise. (she/her) I create both light-hearted and educational content, often drifting between LGBTQ+ topics, pet rat care, and navigating myself through adulthood. SUBSCRIBE to get notified when I upload new videos! If you'd like to see what else I get up to, stalk me below! ✧ Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/laurenelloise ✧ Tiktok → https://www.tiktok.com/@laurenelloise ✧ Website →  https://www.laurenelloise.com Based in Sydney, Australia. For business / collaborations, please drop an email to: hello@laurenelloise.com

shaaba (cis girl she/her bisexual). welcome to my archive of unapologetic brain farts ❤ new videos every Tuesday at 7pm   |   be kind and have a great day (: business enquiries only: jenny@84world.com

allie and sam (cis girl she/her bisexual and cis girl she/her lesbian). We're Allie and Sam! Follow along on our journey to motherhood as we have our first little one! We're a married femme lesbian couple that calls Halifax, Nova Scotia home. You can either find us at home snuggling our three fur babies, Ferguson, Shelby, Elsie and Lily, or traveling around the world. We want to share our adventures with you, and show you how normal LGBT life can be! Make sure you're subscribed so you never miss a video! New videos every Tuesday and Thursday at 3pm Atlantic Time Follow along with us! Our Instagram: @allieandsam Blog: www.allieandsam.com Twitter: @allieandsam_ Sam's Instagram: @samkwiatkowski Want to work with us? For business, collaboration, or other inquiries, send us an e-mail at collabs@aandssocial.com.

jammidodger (trans boy he/him bisexual). Hi, I'm Jamie! Business email: jenny@84world.com Trans, LGBT+, lifestyle, fashion, relationship, PhD, reactions

dutchy (genderfluid she/they bisexual). Hi! I'm Dutchy! An Aussie LGBTQ+ youtuber discussing new taboo topics every Monday and Friday! I also try my best to upload weekly Wednesday Vlogs! :) On this channel you'll find LGBTQ+ issues, topics of taboo, general life advice, vlogs (epic drone footage ooooh) and songs I create about important issues (on occasion)! If you like the sounds of that then become part of the Dutchy fam by subscribing to my channel (right now!) and turning on your post notifications! If you are still reading this, you are marvelous!

[dunenby]

feeling uncomfortable around groups of girls

this is something that just happened. i thought i’d come here to talk about it. so i go to this dance class. it’s getting boring for me though. the director is this old lady who is really nice. and i thought i might feel good today, but it’s the opposite. i just felt totally judged. for two reasons: i forgot multiple parts of the dance and i also don’t really care for the director like the other girls do. and the second reason is that these are all girls.

let me elaborate on that. yes, boys are allowed. but most of us are just girls. i don’t feel comfortable with me being the only non-girl. and also, i’m closeted about that. and i’m sure these people, especially the director, wouldn’t understand something like me. when i think about that, i feel guilty for ever calling myself nonbinary. it’s easier for other people if i just call myself a girl. but i know that doesn’t matter. it’s who i am. i have to think like that.

but every time the director tells me i did a step wrong, i feel a lot... i don’t know. i just feel really bad, and the fact that she’s saying my dead name... and then, zoom. i see my face and my body and it’s horrible. especially because, in this class, they make us show our entire bodies to be able to tell us what steps we do right or wrong. so i’m able to see my stupid hips and chest. and i can’t just hide my video. i want to be able to make sure i’m not doing some weird thing that’s not in the camera and it accidentally is. i need to be able to see myself. i guess that’s a negative trait of mine. so, wrong name. dysphoria. and just not fitting in, because this is a totally different group than the ones i belong to.

god, i hope that didn’t sound like me complaining. it probably did. anyway, i hope you can relate. i just had to get it out.

[dunenby]

coping with problems

so. last post. probably. probably not. for today.

there are a lot of ways to cope with problems. like, you can figure out what happened, distract yourself, or share about it. i’ll walk you through all the parts.

first, to figure out what happened... ask yourself these questions: what happened? how do i feel? what do i want? is getting that necessary? if so, how can i get it?

to distract yourself, i recommend figit toys. like, popits are really great. they help me a lot. figit spinners too. you can also just jump up and down a lot. or go for a run.

and finally, sharing. journals never worked for me. when there’s other people there to hear what i have to say, i feel so much better. create a tumblr and share about your experiences. or create a trevorspace account. people find you really fast on there. you can make a lot of friends. i really recommend it. and plus, it’s all totally anonymous. for both trevorspace and tumblr.

just a quick post. i hope it was helpful.

[dunenby]

being yourself

hey again! so i was scrolling through lgbtq quotes, and i found one about being yourself. and i remembered how this helped with my identity. so, it’s a simple exercise that i hope will help you a little.

first, imagine that you are in a world that you can be who you really are. no one’s going to judge you. you can use any word to describe your identity. what pronouns would you use? what’s your gender? what’s your sexuality? how do you express your gender? what types of people are you attracted to?

don’t think about this world. there are so many limits in this world. imagine there are no limits. don’t think about what you wish you were in this life. just think about how you truly would be if no one’s there to judge you.

those answers to the questions i asked might get you closer to figuring out your identity. i didn’t want to identify as nonbinary before, because i was scared i would just be taking the label when it doesn’t belong to me. i didn’t want to take they/them, because i was scared i’d be being unfair to a whole community. but the truth is, i wanted to use those labels. and they felt right. so, just... what feels right? think about it like that.

okay. i have something else to say. so while i was thinking about how this world has so many limits, and, like, binders and stuff like that aren’t free, i made up this little bar. anyone 12 and up can go to. so, basically, there’s a bunch of different things you can get, and it’s all free. don’t worry, though, you have to be 21 and up for the drinks. but there are makeup shops and wig stores within the bar. you could also get a hair cut there. of course, if you’re 21 or up, you can get a drink. there’s always lgbtq+ singers singing songs up on the stage. there might be bedrooms upstairs, to stay in this place for longer than just the night. you can bye binders and stuff like that. there might even be a quieter room, so if you have autism or you don’t like loud noises, you can have a quiet party within there. there are only ramps and no stairs, so wheelchairs fit. add whatever you’d like. and just imagine that whenever you feel lonely. imagine yourself entering the bar, meeting new people, going a second time, making friends, coming a lot. imagine this is actually happening.

if you believe in reality shifting, script all that and reality shift there!