emerald-sys-messy-blog

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Edit: If anyone has tickets to the Gallery Nucleus panel and signing I’d love to get this piece signed. I’m happy to exchange art/merch or pay to get this signed! ;0;

Loved seeing the glorious evolution of this piece! Shadowbox papercraft featuring one of my favorite characters from Arcane, Viktor!

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Draw Honse when life gets hard >>>>

Speaking: Ryan and dune and maybe Francis and Thomas idk

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Drawing instead of doing my coursework >>

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More progress on system family portrait :) extremely blurry photo

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comic for autism awareness month about how being a person with autism affects us as a system personally. this isn’t exhaustive and idk if the info is useful, but I’ve been working on this for days so here lol

note: these are OUR experiences. nothing else.

(PRO)ENDOS DNI

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[ Minecraft ] Butch Steve x Alex yuri

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Patience: Meditation on 2 Corinthians 4:17

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In progress family portrait in colored pencil, although this stage of rendering is always slightly terrifying. Very excited to put this one on my wall and have a way to remember my family. Speaking: ? Drawing: Chev, Shiloh, Ryan, Dune

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A system is a collection of alters. Alters are chronically dissociated self states, with different neurological pathways that often are accompanied by a varying degree of amnesia. Dissociation is caused by stress/trauma. Alters are a byproduct of dissociating from trauma. You can’t dissociate from trauma you do not have. You cannot dissociate without trauma. You cannot have alters without trauma. You cannot have a system without alters.

You cannot be a system without trauma.

Do you have to know about the trauma ? No. Does it have to be a certain type of trauma ? No. Does it need to be a certain severity ? No. It just needs to have occurred during critical developmental period of the brain. Before the ego states have stitched together, it must be chronic, and beyond the child’s stress threshold, otherwise it will not disrupt the developmental growth. This is different for everyone. The reason trauma cannot be listed as a diagnostic criteria, is because there is no “xyz trauma that causes dissociative disorders”. It’s completely unique to each person suffering from the disorder. And in often cases, the person suffering from the disorder isn’t aware of their trauma. That’s the point of the disorder. This does not mean you don’t need trauma to suffer from a dissociative disorder. Systems are byproducts of dissociative disorders, you cannot be a byproduct of a disorder you do not have.

Endos are not systems. What do I mean by this? I mean that, by definition, that term is not suited for them, and is not meant to describe them. Just like kinning doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like roleplaying doesn’t mean you’re a system, just like religious practises such as tulpamancy isn’t a system. You are perfectly free to do whatever you please, truly. But do not compare it to being a system. You do not share our experiences. You are a different community entirely, and that’s ok.

But please, for the love of god, stop invading our community, and stop spreading misinformation about an already stigmatised and misunderstood disorder.

I understand if you didn’t know better. But please, educate yourself, and stop spreading this misinformation. Being a system isn’t an identity. It’s not a label. And please, stop comparing it to being queer. This is a mental illness. Being queer is not a mental illness.

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Meditation on James 1:12 for today. Praise be to God and God bless you all.

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The boys make a triumphant return!! These are my ocs Carne and Badg, who had a tumultuous misunderstanding but are luckily now back together. They are some of my oldest and most loved ocs, Carne is a mandolin-playing jester and aerialist tabby cat at the renaissance faire and Badg the winged faun runs a plant nursery. Instead of lamenting my breakup I focus my romantic energies on my fictional boys and all is well. Speaking: Ryan? Francis? Artie?

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Some people have fandoms. Other people have boyfriends. I have

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Easter prayer!! Rejoice for the Lord has risen!

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As I sorrowed in my journaling session, Jesus laid the groundwork months ago for something I wasn't ready to do. My prayers and faith in His works enabled me to survive to the other end of this trial, and my faith was tested, but soon came true when He strengthened me to escape my abuser. The Lord always comes through. Speaking: Thomas

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Holy Saturday greetings & a prayer for today. I am overcome by the presence of my Lord on this day and I wait for his ascension

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Dispatching: Ryan

Drawings :)) warning for naughty word on first one !

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✝️📿🕊️✡️🤲

Some prayers from two years ago we updated today. During this Holy Week I feel the Lord's presence and it's almost time to celebrate his ascension to the right hand of God!! We are going through several losses but the Lord guides my steps and fills all empty spaces with his love. One person close to me went back to God but another was taken out of my life by God and a trusted friend. There is nothing I cannot do with God by my side; I am His child and his warrior and he allows me to live.

Speaking: Ryan/yuuna