emkaii

[emkaii]

please help me find the title of this manga (yaoi)

i just cant remember the title or the author but it's an old yaoi manga, like, more than 5 years ago? i forgot the release date but i read it a long time ago. i think. haha

plot:

the kouhai (seme) gets invited to gamble/play/get together in a senpai's house. they're like, college? idk high school? they're a group of friends and seme was new to the group. the house/apartment they go to belongs to the uke who is also a part of the friend group. they're just having fun together with the group. then seme falls in love with senpai uke. it's unrequited. uke is actually in a fuckbuddy relationship with one of their friends (guy A) in the group, and uke is in love with that guy A. seme discovers this.

there's this umbrella that guy A gave to uke in the past, and uke tried to give it to seme when it rained and he didn't have any umbrella to use. uke said that seme doesn't need to give it back, but seme gives it back the next day. (seme doesn't know it's from guy A) uke actually was trying to give away the umbrella as a sign for him to give up on guy A because he knows his feelings for A is unrequited, but seme gave it back without knowing anything.

seme tries to proposition uke and makes efforts for them to get closer. seme tries to make uke fall inlove with him instead, but gets Rejected. uke explains the umbrella situation. i think seme broke the umbrella (not sure) to show uke that he's only hurting himself by holding on the anything about A. uke gets angry, and told seme to leave.

they graduate and separated and did not see each other again until they became working adults. uke is an employee of a partner company that will be working with seme.

seme tries to show nonchalance, but is still inlove with uke. seme sees uke receive a message from A even after all this time, asking for uke and A to meet.

seme meets A first and confronts A that he knows uke's feelings for him but doesn't stop their f-buddy relationship together. seme tells A to stop. A says okay. uke shows up and gets between them. uke explains to seme that A is actually already married to someone else at that point. uke wraps up his relationship with A and A accepts the situation.

uke and seme leave. they talk. it rains. seme holds uke under his own umbrella under the rain. they get together.

that's it. i think.

[emkaii]

in a random thought (more like this plot bunny has been living in my head rent free since this "what if" fic started and now i cant stop myself from sharing it after so many months? years? idek)

thank you to @feynites for the wonderful fic above that i continue to go back re-reading again and again

(also tagging @wangxianficrecs even though im not sure they share scum villain fics *sobs*)

! tw: death !

WHAT IF SCENARIO

og!sj dies the night of yqy & lqg wedding because of heartbreak? (because real heartbreak can literally kill in this fanfic universe) just, like, he dies. that's it. no shen yuan to transmigrate in his body as replacement.

so, og!sj was in seclusion punishment during that night right? and he was only allowed outside to attend the wedding itself. (am i right? or if not, meh)

so shen jiu dies in his bedroom, alone. lbh tries to enter his room to help him prepare for the wedding but doesn't get an answer (bc og!sj is ded), so lbh leaves bc he's obviously afraid of entering the room without og!sj's permission in fear of punishment.

the wedding is completed without sj arriving and everyone just assumes that he's bitter about the whole thing and doesn't attend as a show of rebellion.

also, since he's in secluded punishment and the servants doesn't like him, no one approaches or even tries to enter his room. lbh tries to tell the upper servants that it has been almost a full night & day that og!sj hasn't responded to anything outside his room, but of course, they don't listen to him.

so, he tries to directly report to yqy. who at this point is feeling disappointed? relieved? (even he himself doesn't know) that sj did not cause any problems to his new wedding. so, he goes to check on sj.

he tries to ask permission to enter the room, no answer.

tries to lengthen sj's punishment if he continues to be stubborn, no answer.

tries to threaten that he will break the door, no answer.

yqy gets nervous. something doesn't feel right.

sj is not the type to stay quiet.

he forcefully opens the door.

and he finds sj looking peacefully asleep.

but there's something wrong in the picture. sj was too quiet. too still.

yqy realizes that he can't hear sj breathing. he can't see any movement. at all.

he flies to sj's bedside.

tries to take his wrist to check his condition, and whole body-flinches at the cold skin. sj's body was stiff. and as a highly accomplished cultivator, yqy knows the state of a dead body more than a few hours after death.

he whispers, "a-jiu?"

sj' body would look peaceful in death, if not for the dried tear tracks in his face.

(I don't know how to describe/write it but i want yqy's reaction to be utter devastation, something similar or worse than his reaction in this fanfic's og novel when sj died in the original timeline)

minutes or hours later (yqy doesn't know, doesn't know or aware of his surroundings anymore), after mqf arrives and checks the situation after a frantic lbh tells lqg about sj and lqg flies to have mqf at their estate, mqf states:

"his body showed signs of grief sickness. in this case, his lungs decided to stop taking in air, his mind decided to stop all functions of his body, and his heart just decided to stop beating. i can say that it occurred around 24 hours ago."

24 hours ago.

24 hours ago was when sj tried to convince yqy not to proceed with the wedding for his new husband.

24 hours ago was when sj tried to tell yqy that he'd rather die than let yqy have a second husband.

yqy ignored him.

and now a-jiu is dead.

"A-Jiu couldn’t survive his husband marrying another man. That person died the day Yue Qingyuan married Liu Qingge"

AND THIS IS THE LINE FROM THE ORIGINAL FIC THAT INSPIRED THIS PLOT BUNNY.

i really do sometimes love making myself cry with my thoughts and ideas. now im sharing these to the world. and now i want to re-read, for the 8th? 9th? time, this whole wonderful series.

[emkaii]

I often wonder what happened to authors of unfinished fanfictions.

[emkaii]

"You’re so polite" thanks i was raised in constant fear of upsetting people.

[emkaii]

Reverse transmigration bingqiu except instead of Bingge turning up in Shen Yuan's world, it's white lotus disciple Binghe who does.

Shen Yuan, currently in his last year of high school, finds him and thinks he's a troubled homeless kid who has latched onto a character from a web novel as an intense form of escapism. He's initially just going to hand him over to some authorities of some kind but the kid seems so lost and scared, instead he ends up deciding to personally use his family's connections to help him or at least find his actual family or something (of course, doesn't turn anything up).

Baby Binghe is brand new to Qing Jing peak in the timeline he left from, so he doesn't have any idea of cultivating. With his demon blood still locked, he's a normal kid. But he's smart! He figures out basic appliances and picks up other modern facilities pretty quickly, wins over SY's family, and eagerly decides to keep living with him when SY moves out for the first time. SY's almost feeling bad because he definitely got the better end of this deal. His family manages to enroll LBH in school and they get him a bunch of lessons on things he seems interested in, and even so this kid still finds time to do a better job cooking and cleaning than SY, whose schedule is less packed.

A couple years pass. SY is beginning to accept that this is a permanent situation. So is LBH, who is kind of sad that he won't be able to fulfill his mother's dream of him becoming a cultivator, but actually really likes living in the magic shiny future with Shen Yuan and wouldn't change it now even if he could. SY is looking at long-term things for organizing Luo Binghe's further education, travel, etc. He's come out of his shell, is more active in the world and with his family because he needs to make sure his young ward gets proper socialization! (SY's family think LBH is the best thing that ever happened to him, and don't point out that they're actually only a few years apart in age; except Shen Meimei, who is the same age as LBH.) Meanwhile Luo Binghe's life plan is veering towards "housewife" aspirations, but he's still too shy to mention that to the object of his crush. It's okay though, he's got time! He'll get older and then figure out how best to approach the situation! (And in the meanwhile run off anyone else who tries to date his future husband...)

Of course, that's when it turns out that the system sent him here as an emergency measure to get him out of the way while it resolved a major issue with the actual setting. When the issues are repaired, it yanks LBH back. He finds himself returned to the exact same moment he left, in the same physical state, the years he spent living with Shen Yuan seemingly erased.

Going back to Qing Jing Peak after all that is difficult. No, worse, it's almost completely intolerable. Luo Binghe has been treated right and had a good life and now it's just gone. He has no idea how to get back.

But, that's why he has to stay. Because if there is a way to get back, then his best shot at figuring it out is learning how to cultivate, and devouring every single book in Qing Jing Peak's library, and then every other sect's library if need be. It is possible to move between worlds! He knows, because he did it! He just needs to find the way to do it again, permanently. So he stays and he deals with Shen Qingqiu's cruelty and the bullying of his sect mates, but he doesn't hold out any hope for them to improve. Instead he tries his best to hold his own ground, uses things he learned from Shen Yuan's world to steal whatever advantages he can, and pushes his way through any obstacles or competition.

He hates Shen Qingqiu, though. Especially because he has the surname Shen. Shen Yuan's family was good to him, so it seems like a cruel joke of fate that his shizun is so dead set against him. Something that could have been a comfort is instead a bitter twist of the knife.

But then a couple of years into this, Shen Qingqiu... changes?

After suffering a qi deviation, he stops beating Luo Binghe at the slightest provocation. He stops beating any of his students, in fact. He gives Binghe medicine, actually starts teaching classes, rescues Luo Binghe from a malicious skin-stealing demon, takes the blow of an incurable poison to save him from another demon, even gives him the side room of his own house to stay in. The bullying ends and the atmosphere on Qing Jing Peak changes, like night and day. Somehow he goes from being Shen Qingqiu's most hated student to being his clear favorite, even doted on disciple.

Luo Binghe is not going to fall in love with this new reformed Shen Qingqiu, though. He isn't! His heart is not so fickle that he will just fall in love with anyone who is kind to him! His love for Shen Yuan, that was real. And Shen Yuan would tell him that even though Shen Qingqiu seems to have changed, Luo Binghe shouldn't just forget about the past, because what if Shen Qingqiu returns to that behavior? It might not happen, but if it does then Luo Binghe must react accordingly.

But it's difficult, sometimes. This new Shizun, he's... he's really... sometimes he seems just like...

But Luo Binghe won't fall in love with him!

No matter what, he won't stay. He has to figure out how to move between worlds, and get back to Shen Yuan. Who he REALLY loves. Not Shen Qingqiu. He is in love with Shen Yuan and he is not falling in love with Shen Qingqiu.

At all.

[emkaii]

chinese hanfu in style of warring states period by 南山韵味

[emkaii]

Hi! I have a question. Im not entirely sure if these belong to chinese fashion because I only ever saw them in uncredited pictures. Theyre very intricate "eye patches", seemingly made from like gold or metal? they cover only one eye and I was wondering if they have a name or if its something made up? thank you for all your work!

Hi, thanks for the question, and sorry for taking ages to reply! (x)

The intricate gold/metal "eye patches" covering only one eye that you see are most likely based on "半面妆/Ban Mian Zhuang" ("Half Face Makeup"), a popular Chinese novel written by 萧十一狼/Xiao Shi Yi Lang and published in 2015. Well-known Chinese gufeng-style illustrator 古戈力/Gu Ge Li provided beautiful artwork for the novel, as seen below (1, 2):

Gu Ge Li's artwork inspired many hanfu photoshoots with ornate eyemasks (1, 2, 3, 4, 5):

These eyemasks are essentially made-up fantasy masks with Chinese elements incorporated into the design. They are not based on historical Chinese masks, which look very different. Thus you can just call them 面具/mianju, which is the general Chinese term for masks.

On a related note, similar types of fantasy masks also appear frequently in Chinese guzhuang (period costume) films & dramas, especially in the wuxia and xianxia genres. As @audreydoeskaren touched on in this post, these masks are typically not historically accurate, but are included for aesthetic effect (like many other elements in guzhuang media).

Below - fantasy masks in Chinese film/dramas. Clockwise from top left: women - Painted Skin: The Resurrection, Legend of Nine Tails Fox, The Empress of China, The Blue Whisper; men - Love and Redemption, Xuan-Yuan Sword: Scar of Sky, The Untamed, Battle Through the Heavens:

Deriving inspiration from art and television, fantasy masks have become a popular accessory for hanfu photoshoots.

For more examples of Chinese masks (both historical & fantasy), please see my masks and eyemask tags.

Hope this helps! ^^

[emkaii]

Here's to the people who weren't abused by their parents, but whose parents sucked anyways. Here's to people whose parents fucked up raising you out of ignorance and not malice. Here's to the kids whose parents didn't know what to do with you so they did nothing at all. Here's to people whose parents are getting better and growing as people but still hurt you. Here's to every mean comment that wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't come from your mom; here's to awkward family dinners because you're all trying to forget;

here's to you, survivor of a thousand 'not as bad as it could have been' hurts. I see you. You aren't alone.

[emkaii]

Lan WangJi replied, "We will wait until we find them. After all, we do what we must." Wei Wuxian, "Just by using nets?" Lan XiChen, "That is right. Does the YunmengJiang Sect have other methods?" Wei Wuxian smiled but didn't respond. Of course, the YunmengJiang Sect used nets as well. But, because he was a good swimmer, he had always jumped into the river and dragged water ghouls out. However, this method was too dangerous; he definitely couldn't do it in front of the Lan Sect's people.

....I'm sorry, what

[emkaii]

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

[emkaii]

one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys. 

[emkaii]

“My five starts danmei novels.” Short, well, you do know, not short reasons why I like them.

🎋 —C Language Cultivation.

carrd.

Programming? Cultivation? A pretty man with long hair? Fucking swipe my card— wait, I don't own a card... Anyways, you get my point!

This novel, C Language Cultivation, had all the possible elements to make it into the top of my favourite novels. Did it achieve it? Well, fellas, it is in the post for something!

Believe me, for a moment, I was crazy enough to think that studying Computer Science because of this book was a good idea of a degree (it is, but Angie is a literature girl), so Imagine how good it is.

If you're done with slow burn (I'm never done with slow burn, but there are times when I appreciate a couple who gets straight to the point), read C Language Cultivation! Dong Jun and Lin Xun had THEE tension going on from the moment they've met, and I was screaming with every single interaction.

I believe this novel had one of the best plot twists I've read in my entire life (and I've been reading since I was 10, guys, 10 years old!). I was literally staring into the wall, trying to process what I've just read. I still can't believe how it fucking played with me.

Alas, Dong Jun and I share birthdays! Do you need another reason to start reading it, like, mmm, NOW?

🎋 —Beyond The Outline.

carrd.

Grab yourself to something because this is the second, THE SECOND novel with almost no angst (there are sad moments, but it's mostly cute) that I ranked as a five starts book. The author? Obviously, Mu Gua Huang.

You see, guys, Mu Gua Huang makes me love happiness and to be quite addicted to it. Once I started this novel, I would keep reading it until 5 a.m., and it was worth it!

Beyond The Outline has a precious message behind the hilarious and mysterious situation where two high school students, completely opposite from each other, switch bodies after being hit by lightning. I was this emoji 🥺 all the time.

I love this couple. Shao Zhan 🤧, look, I don't mean to spoil you, but he does something that I was like, “No man will do this for me never. He's the last romantic.” He's the best boy and the best boyfriend. If someone hates him, they seriously need some help.

🎋 —Alpha Predator.

No carrd, unfortunately.

Some of you may say, “Angie, didn't you review this novel before?” And I will do it again.

Alpha Predator is the last novel of the 188男团 (if you don't know, basically, the gongs are all 188 and scummy) and the best I've read from Suida. This book basically fell from the sky for me. I was on a reading block (is that the right term in English?) and needed something that made me retake my usual reading rhythm. May I aggregate that this has been the best novel I read in 2023 by so far? It is.

As the title suggests, Alpha Predator is an ABO world where rank plays an important role in society. The ML and scummy gong (mi bebé solo estaba jugando) is an S class Alpha, which means he is the one on top of the pyramid. I love Qu Moyu, and I am willing to defend him with my life. I accept that I tweeted that he was a stupid Alpha, but we all make mistakes, hahaha.

I love QuShen. 💜 They are my favourite 188 couple, and the best, in my not so humble opinion. They admire each other, and they come to love each other despite all the misunderstandings, and that makes me 🤧.

If you like scummy gongs and trust my taste, give it a try!

🎋 —Po Yun.

carrd.

What do we have here? My last reading, the best crime book, and the novel that made me couldn't look my chemistry teacher straight in the eye! The last point is kind of a long story that I'll tell you some other day.

Anyways, who are these sexy gentlemen? I'll introduce you to Yan Xie and Jiang Ting, the protagonists and couple of Po Yun!

I have great memories of reading this novel. I remember sending voice messages to one of my friends about this book: “Girl, you wouldn't believe what just happened...” Dalia and I agree that this is an amazing book.

I also found it quite realistic in the aspect of how much can drugs fuck up someone's life. I won't elaborate on this because it's spoiler, but you will piece a lot of things once you know about a certain character past.

As for the romance, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WHY THE FUCK I WASN'T IN THAT WEDDING. I WOULD HAVE CRIED WHILE DRINKING EXPENSIVE WINE (I don't even like wine). They're HOT and they LOVE each other.

🎋 —First-Class Lawyer.

carrd.

Look, maybe I wouldn't have dropped out of law school if it were as entertaining as this novel, but it wasn't in my case. Putting that new fun fact about me aside, welcome to First-Class Lawyer by Mu Su Li.

This novel is set in a futuristic environment, so Yan Suizhi and Gu Yan are not just lawyers but interstellar lawyers. Amazing, isn't it? The mystery involves the other planets, so you'll see them space-travelling to find out the truth. And if that didn't sell you, Yan Suizhi is “dead.” Yup, our main character was awakened from death and put in another body in the first chapter. As the critics (me) say, “You know the book is good when the author kills the protagonist in the first page.”

The couple, aw. Imagine having someone you could tell anything, it doesn't matter how insignificant it is, and that they listen to you and that they love you so much —that's Gu Yan and Yan Suizhi. They're also teacher × student, from those who like that kind of dynamic!

As I told you in the beginning, this is written by Mu Su Li, author of QQGK, which means it is freaking good!

Some of you may be wondering, “Where the fuck is BAB?” I'M WAITING FOR OFFICIAL ART. 😭 HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO ART BAIT YOU IF THERE IS NO OFFICIAL ART???? /cries in it's my favourite book and it doesn't have art even though it was signed to a lot of publications

[coughs] I hope you like this pt. 4 of Angie recs! I don't know when I'll post the next, but this is my humble effort of making you read these amazing novels!

[emkaii]

People are always talking about Wei Wuxian and jiang cheng's relationship "going back to how it was before". how? How was it before? WWX getting constantly berated and yelled at by jc for doing the right things? The fun futile pursuit of stepping on eggshells around jc's 13843190437 insecurities so as not to flare up his perpetual envy & resentment? Of all the things WWX ever said to jc, how they could be like the Twin Jades AKA respect each other and support each other, jc lasered in on the idea that WWX would be his forever obedient servant and then stabbed him in the back when WWX could not compromise his morals and honor. jc had a blip of self awareness when he realized he was acting like a clown and it took a whole ass, once in a lifetime core reveal, to provoke it, gaslit WWX anyway, gave a half assed sorry, then he's right back on his bullshit in the extras clashing with Wen Ning. Lol his growth arc is a flat line.

“Lan JingYi pouted, ... “Sect Leader Jiang is the same as before, always lashing out at people with his whip.”

Honestly people relate to jiang cheng so they can't understand that their relationship was never ideal for WWX and only functioned when WWX was making the emotional compromises. They take WWX leaving to protect the Wens personally. They're always complaining their own friends ghosted them or drifted apart... yes follow those mental breadcrumbs...

[emkaii]

In hindsight the popularity of using “demonic cultivation” for what Wei Wuxian uses is running counter to what is actually in MDZS being used. It is resulting in a lot of fandom confusion, particularly since demonic cultivation is a xianxia genre standard. But that’s not what is going on in MDZS.

The genre standard demonic cultivation revolves around stealing qi, absorbing life energy from others, possessing others to get access to their greater cultivation abilities, and in general much more assholery than what Wei Wuxian does.

The actual term used by Wei Wuxian and most of the narration in the novel is Guǐdào; aka Ghost Cultivation. It revolves manipulating the dead, using resentful energy as a power source, and to be absolutely blunt it is a form of necromancy. It is the “redirection” option in dealing with the dead; drain away resentful energy so that you can convince the dead to finally let go and be liberated. Either by getting the justice they were denied in life or having lifted the worst of their anger and attachment so they can think clearer.

Not demonic cultivation.

The very title “Mo Dao Zu Shi” is part of the subversion element and part of setting in motion assumptions about the story for the original Chinese readers who know the genre and what the usual tropes are.

Because calling it “Gui Dao Zu Shi” would give away too much from the start of what is actually going on.

Also per MXTX, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are “morally perfect” and as that is the intention given by the author herself, that means nothing Wei Wuxian does with ghost cultivation has to actually harm the ghosts in a way that would be morally wrong. Like destroying them, preventing them from reincarnating, that kind of thing. He does not hurt the dead. He’s honestly shown to be more friendly with the undead; he is endlessly kind to them in fact and even gentle. Polite too and that deserve marking because Wei Wuxian ignores most manners because he generally doesn’t care. But he puts that care into how he treats the gui (undead) he commands and works with. He gives them rewards for a job well done as shown in the Yi City arc!

The one who does use ghost cultivation to hurt both the living and dead is Xue Yang who is repudiated by Wei Wuxian; “Xue Yang has to die” is what he says and that is what he helps Lan Wangji do.

But the actual founder? The guy who made it and is the absolute master of it? Rejects that kind of thinking all the way through the story, even at his lowest.

[emkaii]

Look, I know The Untamed has THE LONGING and I love it too, but we all gotta accept that the MDZS novel is unmatched because, my dudes, WWX defeats the villain by sabotaging his homophobia.

I know we joke (and we SHOULD) about jgy the shipper et etc but in the end, it's whimsical humor.

In the scene where jgy has our heroes trapped, held hostage, and villian monologues about poor Lan Wangji's unrequited gay love...

All this fake sympathy for LXC's brother is 100% bad intent: he's revealing a "dirty secret" to the hostages & Jin minions about his biggest threat (the biggest fire power) that would stain lwj in the eyes of the sect world. A secret that might repulse wwx when laid out publically - make him let down lwj easy at best.

(Recall, jgy is THAT GUY who killed his own infant son out of fear of public disdain.)

What is actually happening here is that he's trying to shame them. Just like how he attacks JC in another scene, destabilizing him w his words, and plays mind games w LXC. JGY's greatest weapon in his persuasion and narrative building. His words are just as much of a weapon as the string he slides around wwx's neck.

But none of this plays out the way jgy expects it to AT ALL. He sees it going weird, kinda sideways, but is completely unprepared for what actually happens.

Which is a key component of the humor. But also a fucking AMAZING climactic moment for a novel that has reminded the reader and the characters over and over that they exist in a homophobic society where tainted public reputation and rumors can have violent, deadly consequences.

And what does wwx do in the face of that? Before jgy can start in on lwj w his word knives, wwx SCREAMS that he wanted to have sex with the man who was just maliciously outed. Like, yelps it at the top of his lungs

He grasps what the villian is trying to do and turns it on its head. He takes the power of the moment back. You want to other, to humiliate, and to degrade Lan Wangji? Figuratively and LITERALLY taking his power away? Well, fuck you. Actually we had. sex. MAN ON MAN SEX. AND I WANTED IT. AND ILL DO IT AGAIN.

The power of this wholesale rejection of jgy's narrative, the sheer audacity of this gay pride rant, stuns & unhinges the master of whispers and wwx springs free from the trap.

The novel doesn't allow us to forget about the othering that WWX/LWJ have just experienced. They are seated away from everyone else, people are uncomfortable around them.

This only underscores how absolutely badass it was. And how irrevocable. It forshadows what is to come, as they continue to express affection off on their own side, before "eloping" on their own at the end. (The only reason drama!LWJ can BE Chief Cultivator is that this scene never happened.)

But novel wwx and lwj don't gaf. And that's how they win. They craft their happy ending regardless of their society's prejudices -- you can't erase them but you can refuse to let them change you, quiet you, isolate you. You can build your own patchwork families and proudly love who you love.

[emkaii]

Kaitlyn  

[emkaii]

Why are fundraiser posts getting rejected by tumblr blaze?

As far as I know, it's not against the community guidelines. Have I done something wrong with the post? I have directly inquired about it but did not get any response. I need to know.