endlessmidnights

[endlessmidnights]

People who’ve been hurt say solitude is the answer because then nobody can hurt you again, but what if it’s me who hurt me

[endlessmidnights]

I don’t know what to say besides…

It’s fucking bad again.

[endlessmidnights]

When someone asks if you have a weak stomach

Me: I cut myself just to see the blood

[endlessmidnights]

When you find an old blade and it’s just like shit I am so triggered

[endlessmidnights]

All my blades are dull but I don’t have enough energy to get new ones…

[endlessmidnights]

I hope one day I just don’t wake up…

preferably tomorrow

[endlessmidnights]

Them: take a shower it’ll help you cope

Me: you’re right this is very helpful (while cvtting in the shower)

[endlessmidnights]

I don’t think I can do this anymore, I just want to die

[endlessmidnights]

People asking why I’m quieter than normal, but truthfully my mind has never been louder

[endlessmidnights]

When you bear the pain of living you are called a warrior, a fighter, they say you are so brave, but when you can no longer fight you’re a coward who took the easy way out, have they ever thought that it might’ve been the only way out, that you could no longer fight, bc for every battle you won there were 10 more to fight,

[endlessmidnights]

I want someone to realize I’m in this much pain, I don’t want to keep doing this to myself but it’s an addiction now

[endlessmidnights]

Why am I so jealous of people who cut deep, like I want to be able to cut deep, but my anxiety gets me every time, so instead I just cut a lot

[endlessmidnights]

I want to try therapy again and for it to help this time but I’m too scared it won’t and too prideful to ask for help

[endlessmidnights]

I hate being so irritated that I’m holding back tears, and I hate that that’s the only time I cry

[endlessmidnights]

“They say I did something bad, then why’s it feel so good?”

— Taylor Swift

[endlessmidnights]

At this point I have two options:

Die

Recover

I don’t have energy for either so I’m just gonna suffer

[endlessmidnights]

hey, I just wanted you to not feel so alone, but I don't know what to say other than, I see you I hope there's better days and you are really strong

Thank you!