ericdanielmedina

[ericdanielmedina]

Your ‘Future is Female’ Shirt is Promoting Sexism, Not Equality

If you live in the Bay Area, or California for that matter, chances are you’ve probably seen someone, particularly a female, wear a shirt with large text written across their chest reading, ‘THE FUTURE IS FEMALE.” These people wear that shirt with pride and dignity. They feel that they are standing up to women’s rights and empowering females across the world by stating that the future belongs to them. These are women who consider themselves a strong and empowered feminist. However, these so-called “feminist’s” with these “Future is Female” shirts aren’t promoting feminism and equality, but they are in fact promoting sexism and they don’t even realize it. They’re not resolving the problem, but they are adding to it. They’re not just being sexist toward men, but also to every woman who they are fighting to protect. 

First off, let’s look at the word, “Feminism.” By definition, feminism means: “the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” Notice that I bolded “equality” and “sexes.” In other words, women want to be equal to men. They want to be paid equally and have opportunities equally distributed between men and women in the workplace, military, politics, and at home. But that’s not what that slogan is saying. It’s saying that the future belongs to females and females only. Men are out of the picture. As renown feminist Roxane Gay once said in response to how the world can be a better place for women: “We should just get rid of all men.” Sure. That sounds like a much better plan than working toward equality. If it was a true feminist slogan, it would actually say, “the Future is Male and Female.” That’s equality. That’s feminism. That’s two genders working together side by side for a common goal. Saying that the future is female is not feminism and if you truly call yourself a feminist and you own this type of shirt, you should really reconsider who you are, what you stand for, and who you stand up for. 

I don’t consider myself a feminist. I used to be one until I realized what feminism was really about and what it’s about in today’s culture is exactly what the slogan says: “The future is female.” Feminism today is about being better than men and sticking it to them. It’s a continuous competition to be better and stronger than them. It’s to make them look incompetent while making women more physically and emotionally stronger, more intelligent, more of a savior/heroin. We’re starting to see this in films, such as Ant Man 2 and Ghostbusters reboot where the men are all idiots and the women have all the answers and save the day. Men are becoming the damsels in distress and women are okay with it, because the future is female.

So, the issue we now have is that women want to be seen as higher than men. They want to be the future. But don’t get me wrong. I’m all for women having more opportunities. I think we need more female cops, female military officers, female fire fighter’s, female construction workers, female coal miners, and female engineers. If that’s what they want then they should go for it. Right now, men are seen as more dominant in almost every situation, but women want to change that so it becomes the opposite. Women want to become more dominant and they want the men to be where the women currently are; at the bottom (according to the slogan). So because of that mentality, they are creating this endless cycle of men on top, women at the bottom, women on top, men at the bottom, etc, etc, and the fight for equality never ends. If women are at the top then men will become the ones fighting for equality and women are okay with it, because the future is female.

The second reason this slogan is wrong is because it only focuses on biologically born females; meaning someone who was born with a vagina. “The Future is Female” completely excludes men who may identify as a female. So if you’re a man who wants to transition into a woman and call yourself a female, you’re still excluded from that particular “future” because to them you’re still a male whether you still have your penis or not. But, I thought feminists also fought for transgender rights? If the future is female, then nope. They not only not support males, but they also don’t support the trans community, because the future is female. 

In the end, if you really do consider yourself a feminist, please toss out your “Future is Female” t-shirt. You’re not helping the cause. That shirt isn’t cool or trendy or hip. The only statement that shirt is making is that you have no idea what that slogan even means. It’s embarrassing, really. Probably more embarrassing than degrading, actually. But, you know, the future is female, so who cares?

[ericdanielmedina]

How Wonder Woman Broke Gender Stereotypes

If you were to walk toward the toy section in any Target store, you would see that each toy aisle is divided by age and gender. In one aisle, you’d have toys for babies and toddlers. These would mainly be blocks, train sets, and stuffed animals. In the next aisle, you’d see toys specifically made for girls. Usually, this is a super bright hot pink aisle filled with Barbies, Cabbage Patch Kids, American Girl dolls, and dream houses. Next to that aisle would usually be the toy section for boys. The boys usually had a larger section. Typically, they have about 2-3 aisles of toys. One might be dedicated to Hot Wheels. Another might be dedicated to Lego’s. The third is usually dedicated to action figures. These are all the Jurassic Park toys, Star Wars, the Marvel superheroes, the WWF Wrestlers, and Power Rangers. But, a couple of years ago, something changed those stereotypes on toys and gender. 

I remember walking into the men’s clothing section at Target one day and I noticed a t-shirt with Wonder Woman on the front. At first I thought maybe someone brought it from the women’s section and left it there, but then I saw more of them and they were fitted for guys. I held it in my hand looking at the design wondering if it looked too “girly” to be on a guy. Like, if I had bought it and wore it, would people mistake it for women’s clothing? So, that got me thinking, when did Wonder Woman become a unisex figure?

I’d like to think she has always been a symbol of not just female empowerment, but also male masculinity. Introduced to the world in the 1940s, also known as the Golden Age, Wonder Woman was essentially the comic book version of Rosie the Riveter and Uncle Sam. She represented the spirit of America and fought for women’s rights and fought alongside the men of WW2. But, over the years, the appearance and personality of Wonder Woman has changed quite significantly, causing a lot of confusion with which gender she is really for.

At the start of Wonder Woman’s legacy in 1941, she was the “All-American Girl.” At around the same time, Marvel’s Captain America became another icon during WW2, but Wonder Woman was different than Captain America. Captain America represented power and fight of the US, while Wonder Woman represented strength and love for humanity. According to her creator, William Marston, "Wonder Woman is psychological propaganda for the new type of woman who should, I believe, rule the world."

But, as the years went on, Wonder Woman began to lose that leadership persona and would soon become something of a sex icon.

One year later, fans of the superhero would begin to notice that Wonder Woman traded in her culottes for spandex. In 1959, she not only had spandex, but her boots became formal dress heels. If you’ve seen Jurassic World, then you know how silly it is to wear heels in combat situations. 

In 1975, Lynda Carter, who portrayed Wonder Woman on TV, sported the tall, red boots, but those spandex shorts quickly became briefs. And by 1994, due to the lack of Wonder Woman comic sales, the heroine was completely stripped of her dignity by having her culotte turned into nothing but a thong and her breasts became much larger. Mike Deodato, Jr., the Wonder Woman artist at the time, said:

“As the bikini got smaller, sales get higher.”

So, the less clothes Wonder Woman had on, the more buyers (men) would buy the comics. Essentially, she became a pin up girl.

At this point, I don’t even think we need to talk about the 1995 Post-Crisis III version of Wonder Woman. You can Google that on your own. But as the years went on, Wonder Woman started to look a bit more heroic. Yeah, she still wore briefs from time to time, but instead of trying to attract only male readers, she finally, once again, began to appear strong and dominant. Those traits were what made Wonder Woman so unique from most male superheroes.

So, this leads me to now. Wonder Woman has always been a classic comic book icon and I believe she has gone through quite the rollercoaster of he/she interests. With the release of Batman vs Superman, Wonder Woman, and Justice League, Wonder Woman has turned into somewhat of a badass. Aside from being beautiful, she is much more stronger (physically, mentally, and spiritually) and she is very much more humanized than ever before. Fans are able to connect with the character on a more personal level. People don’t see Wonder Woman as just a female icon. They see her as a symbol - a symbol of change. Wonder Woman is no longer just for one gender. She’s for everyone of all gender and of all ages. More than ever, little girls dream of becoming just like Wonder Woman. They dress up as her and dream of meeting her someday. I think guys have a stronger respect for the heroin. Most comic book readers are males, so they really appreciate the representation that actress, Gal Gadot, has brought to the films and character. For the longest time, we’ve been getting these silly, campy representations of Wonder Woman and now we finally have one that is irreplaceable.

Now, when I go into a toy aisle, I’ll see Wonder Woman action figures and dolls for both genders. Even now, I love having Wonder Woman merchandise. I carry the Wonder Woman logo on my keys, I have a shirt with Wonder Woman on the front, and I have a Wonder Woman water bottle. These days, if you want to buy a Wonder Woman item, no one really bats an eye. No one is going to mistake a male for being feminine.

Sure, a lot of feminist movements still have an issue with Wonder Woman. She was appointed the Honorary Ambassador for Women at the UN, but just after a couple weeks, she was dropped. Her image hasn’t always sparked in interest in some groups, but fans have stuck by her since day one.

I love the idea that a female figure can be adored by both male and female. There aren’t too many things in this world both men and women can agree on, but we can all agree that Wonder Woman is a complete bad ass and whatever and however she appears to people, she has become such an inspiration to many young girls and guys, as well. If that’s not called progress, then I don’t know what is.

[ericdanielmedina]

My Hero: Charlie Chaplin

If there was anyone in this world who has influenced my way of living and has made a significant impact in my life, it’s definitely Charlie Chaplin.

I think most of us know Chaplin as the silent actor who wore a Hitler-like mustache and sported the famous bowler hat. But I don’t think too many people really knew who Chaplin really was. There’s a reason why he has gone down in history as a true icon. He wasn’t only an actor, but also a writer, director, producer, editor, and composer. But beyond entertainment, Chaplin was a true humanitarian.

Charlie Chaplin was the epitome of a perfectionist. He made sure he got the shot he wanted. If not, he would do take after take after take. A lot of people who worked with Chaplin despised him for this, but that was just his nature. That perfectionism even followed him outside of the studio. When Chaplin wasn’t behind or in front of the camera, he was dreaming of a perfect world. 

“A decent world that will give men a chance to work - that will give youth a future and old age a security”.

He was a very passionate man with a lot of desire. Some of those desires gave him a bad reputation, though. His desire for younger girls was something everyone in Hollywood knew about. The man was flawed, but he only desired love; love that he lost once before and was hoping to recapture it. But aside from his love life, the man loved the world even more. He had a huge heart for children, as he saw them as innocent and the future leaders of tomorrow. As corrupt and dirty as humanity was, Chaplin never gave up on others. The iconic speech in ‘the Great Dictator’ was a complete reflection of Chaplin’s views and beliefs - and that is why Chaplin is my hero.

I believe that I am a lot like Chaplin: flawed, but full of passion and love for humanity. 

Growing up, I never really had much of a desire to be the “change this world needed”, as Gandhi once stated. I cared only for myself and I didn’t bother getting to know anyone else. I just felt comfortable where I was and how I was in life. 

But I believe the turning point that made me first feel for others was when I visited Tanzania, Africa for a church mission trip. Coming home from that trip, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the children and all the families who lived in those unfinished homes. Some homes didn’t have roofs, doors, or windows. Homes were infested with ants and mosquitos, but not one kid looked sad. They would laugh and play soccer outside with friends. That was their life. And I remember coming home and crying in the shower, because I didn’t think it was fair that Americans and other 1st world countries could have something as simple as water, but yet, people in Africa had to go find water that may not even be sanitary for consumption.

But what made me into the person today was a mix of a broken heart and the words of Charlie Chaplin:

“We think too much and feel too little.”

Those eight words have stuck with me for over 5 years and are the essence of my core belief system of living a life filled with pure genuine love for others without bias.

I believe we all think too much and feel too little at times. Even me. As much as I feel, I probably think even more. I’m constantly thinking about my life in the future, the past, and the present. I think about things I could do or could have done. I sometimes even overthink the simplest things when in actuality, the answer is right in front of me. 

My parents would always tell me to go with my gut instinct and to never second guess myself. The idea of feeling something is incredible because a feeling will take us so much further than if we just constantly overthink everything and over analyze simple concepts. Thinking can sometimes leave us stuck and prevent us from obtaining what we need.

What I admired about Chaplin was that he wasn’t focused on one group of people or one idea.

“In the 17th chapter of Saint Luke it was written: “the Kingdom of God is in man”- Not one man nor a group of men, but in all men! In you!” 

He was focused on humanity as a whole. He didn’t pick and choose a specific group to show love to. Men, women, and children of all kind. Not just brown people, not just white, not just male, not just female. Everyone. 

Every once in a while, I will listen to Chaplin’s speech. It’s a reminder that the world has not changed in over 78 years. That speech is more true today than it was in 1940. I even started a tradition in which I will play his speech at midnight on New Years Eve as a way to start the year off with a reminder of where the world is and how I need to be a better person for this imperfect world.

Bono, lead singer of the band U2, once sang, “You can’t change the world, but you can change the world in you.”  That quote is exactly how I see Charlie Chaplin. He wasn’t out to change the world. He was out to get people to change the world within themselves, because before we can fix the world we have to fix ourselves first. 

My internal world changed after I broke up with my ex girlfriend in 2016. At that moment, life just tossed a bucket of ice cold water on top of my head in order to wake me up and to be a better person. It was the cold water that I needed. Along the way, Chaplin has been there to keep me focused on who I am supposed to be; not just for myself, but for others, and for the world around me. 

My desire for others has grown over the years and I know it’ll only continue to grow from here on. I like to think Charlie Chaplin has played a huge role in that desire.

If I am to end this blog on any quote, it’s this:

“More than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.”

[ericdanielmedina]

Arrogance Can Prevent You From Living the Life You Want

When I was a kid, I would always watch the New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. I can still remember the theme song to this day. It was a classic. In every episode, we’d see Pooh and his friends go on silly adventures and solve many life problems. One of the many problems Pooh always personally struggled with was obtaining a new pot of honey. He would always get so close to dipping his paw into the gooey, golden honey until something came along that prevented him from enjoying his tasty treat. Either the pot would shatter, leaving just a smudge of honey on his hand causing him to lick up the remains, or someone would take it from him. No matter what Pooh would do, he just could never fully have his pot of honey. I felt so bad for him, because he was such a beloved character. He never did anyone wrong or deserved to not have his honey. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized there was something wrong with Pooh. It turns out that he was a very arrogant bear and that was probably why he never got what he really wanted. He would always talk down to his friend, Piglet. He always thought he knew the answers to everything and because of his arrogance, it always put him and his friends in tough situations. If Pooh wasn’t so arrogant, maybe he could finally have all the honey in the Hundred Acre Wood.

At one point in my life, I truly believed that I was like Winnie the Pooh. Throughout the entire year of 2015, I was desperately looking for a full-time job. I took a lot of crappy freelance gigs in between, but they never amounted to anything except the feeling of wanting something more meaningful. I went from interview to interview, job to job, paycheck to paycheck, and nothing meaningful ever came from it. There would be many instances where people would dangle a potential job in front of me, only to pull it away or drag the bait along the ground until I got tired of chasing it. I always got so close, but yet, I was so far - and I felt like I was getting further every day.

I not only questioned myself, as in my own capabilities, but I also questioned God, and His capabilities. I asked, “How can God do this to me? I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not perfect, but I’m at least trying to be better. I’m praying. I’m reading the Bible. I’m going to church. So, how can God keep making me suffer like this? It’s not fair”. It got to the point where I just hated everything about God. I was quickly losing money. Whatever I had in my account went toward my rent and utilities. I couldn’t even afford to buy things for my girlfriend at the time and that made me feel even less of a person, maybe even less of a man. 

So, I went nine months working these freelance gigs while applying to jobs and going in for interviews just hoping that one, just one, would take a chance on me. Months go by and I have a little over a thousand dollars left in my checking account. That would only be good for one more month of rent. Not only was I frustrated, but I was scared. Scared of having to move back home with my parents. Not that my parents were scary, but moving back home would have meant starting over and losing all connections and opportunities I had or could have in the city. I was not about to let that happen.

In Luke 18:9-14, there’s a story of a Pharisee and a tax collector who were both praying inside a temple. The Pharisee, who was standing all alone on one side, prayed to God and thanked Him that he was not like all the other people who were sinful and corrupt. He actually believed that he was living a righteous life in the eyes of God because he tithed, fasted, and simply obeyed the Old Law. He thought because of what he did that he was much closer to God than most others. However, across the room was a tax collector, whom back in those days were hated by not just the public, but heavily by Pharisees. They were seen as dirt, liars, and cheaters, but there in that temple, alongside the self-righteous Pharisee, was a lone tax collector praying to God. He wasn’t condemning others or boasting about his life, but instead he was asking for forgiveness. The story ends with both men leaving. The Pharisee went home probably feeling really good about himself, but the tax collector probably didn’t go home feeling joyful, but maybe he felt a little better that he was able to humble himself in front of God by confessing his sin.

That’s when I was reminded that perhaps God wasn’t answering my prayers because I was arrogant like the Pharisee in the story. Sure, I was praying to God and doing everything I was supposed to do “biblically”, but my heart wasn’t in the right place. I only read the Bible or prayed so that maybe God could see that I was trying to be a better person. Knowing myself back then, if I had received my job instantly out of college, I would grow to be even more arrogant and prideful. Sure, I would be grateful for having a job, but then that would quickly fade and I would most likely let the success go to my head. That’s why I believe I didn’t get a job until I knew the worth of not having a job and working for it rather than just obtaining it.

Maybe we’re all a bit like Winnie the Pooh. We may all want something really bad, and we may even get really close to having it, but our arrogance might be getting in the way of us reaching whatever it is we really want. Or maybe we’re like the Pharisee in the story where we think we’re living the life according to God, but in actuality we’re so blinded by our arrogance that we don’t realize just how far away we truly are from God. The story of the Pharisee and tax collector ends on this quote from Christ, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted”.

[ericdanielmedina]

Selfish: Understanding Suicide

I remember when I first found out Robin Williams had died. I was in San Diego visiting my girlfriend at the time and we had just met up with my brother at Slaters 50/50. The first thing my brother says to me after saying hello was, “Hey, did you hear? Robin Williams died”. He said it in a more monotone voice, so there wasn’t much of grief in his delivery, but even though he told me in the most nonchalant way, it hit me hard. All I was thinking of was, how did he die? Was it an accident? Did he have a heart attack? In just a manner of a few seconds, my childhood memories of Robin Williams began to flash before my eyes. Mrs. Doubtfire. Jumanji. Hook. Flubber. Now all just sad memories. I remember going home afterwards to create a tribute video montage of all his classic works. But it wasn’t until later that I discovered Williams had committed suicide by hanging himself on a door with his belt. And all I could think of was, why? Why him? Why now?

As I was learning more about his death, I soon realized that he had left behind a family; a wife and daughter. I think to most people my age, it felt like we all lost a father, because we all grew up with Robin Williams. It was like he was always there from the beginning. Soon, all of the memorials and tributes started to come in from various news channels and online video sites. I remember waking up the next morning and getting into my car to find any newspaper that had his face on the front page. I must have drove to ten different locations: gas stations, grocery stores, coffee shops, outdoor vendors. All sold out. I really wanted to have something to remind me of Robin Williams as he once was. Happy.

However, with these types of situations, there are always two groups of people. While one side was grieving, another side began to ask, how can someone be so selfish?

And, that just didn’t make sense to me.

Even to this day, with the death of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, I’m again hearing that word: “SELFISH”.

The argument is this: how can anyone who has a family, especially little kids, commit suicide and allow their kids to grow up without a parent or a spouse to live without a partner?

And, the answer is this: It’s complicated.

As someone who has experienced suicide within my family and as someone who has contemplated suicide at one point, I can say for certain, it’s beyond our own logic and understanding. To a normal, sane human being, of course it appears to be selfish - because we’re thinking logically. But that’s the thing about depression. Depression doesn’t follow logic. It doesn’t follow the same rules as a sane person follows. Depression is its own entity. Depression is like it’s own country and it has its own set of rules and if you’ve never been to that country, you won’t ever understand those rules. You’ll always just be a foreigner looking in from a distance.

To be honest, when a person is depressed and contemplating suicide, they’re never thinking of themselves. It’s the opposite. They’re thinking of others around them. They’re thinking of all the people who are suffering because of them or the people who could suffer because of them, and they don’t want to put anyone through any stress because of their depression. They believe the world is better off without them. They don’t want their kids to see with their own eyes how messed up their father is. All they want are loved ones to be happy. By accomplishing that task, it means ending your own life to ensure that happiness. 

To a sane person, that sounds selfish. But it’s not for a sane person who say if it is selfish or not. They don’t have the right to do so. 

Depression is like this deep, deep, pit. It’s cold, lonely, dark, and the only way to get out is if you climb the walls without stairs, ladder, rope, or anything to assist you up. Most of the time, no one even knows you’re stuck in a pit, so you’re constantly climbing those walls trying to get out, but it’s just too much effort because you keep on falling and the wall always seem to be getting taller and slippery by the day. 

Depression isn’t just waking up one morning and not feeling as happy as you were the day before. It’s a slow, gradual process that consumes your life for months and even years. It affects your mood, your behavior, your way of thinking, your daily tasks, and your relationships. Suicide isn’t a quick decision someone makes one morning. It can take many years for someone to actually kill themselves. They’re just holding on until they just cannot hold on any longer. It’s like working out so hard that your body just can’t take anymore pressure and its at that point where the person gives in. It’s like running a horse to exhaustion.

I was in 7th grade when 9/11 happened. I remember my mom calling me to come see something on TV. It was early and I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t think it was anything important to see. My mom told me what had happened, but I didn’t quite see the significance of it. She told me a plane hit the World Trade Center as she was watching the news. Again, I didn’t connect the pieces together. So, I went to school to hear everyone else talk about it. All I really knew was something bad had happened, but I didn’t know how extreme it was until 17 years later. I’ve seen the images on TV, but I never really took the time to fully examine what had actually happened that day. More recently, I began to do more research on the event, so I started to watch a lot of 9/11 videos on YouTube. Most of the videos are either conspiracy videos or videos of the planes hitting the towers. However, there are a few select videos that are so hard to watch that they instantly bring me to a dark place and I want to leave it as soon as possible. I’m talking about the jumpers. People who chose to jump from the World Trade Center because they would rather die faster than to burn alive or suffocate from the smoke. Of course, at the time, they didn’t know the towers were going to collapse, so death was an inevitable factor. I was so curious that I watched video after video of people falling to their deaths. As one camera zooms out, a pile of dead, splattered bodies covered the ground below the towers. In one particular video, you can actually hear the sounds of bodies hitting the ground. I didn't know any of those people, but it felt like I did. I felt like I was their son, friend, colleague, acquaintance, watching them die before my eyes. The visuals, the sounds, all just stuck with me. My heart broke, but my mind just couldn't fathom the situation. I want to make the point that no one ever thought what they did was considered a selfish act. It was an act of desperation. It was a way for them to be free from what they were suffering. And these people weren’t even depressed. That’s what makes this even more sad. These people didn't wake up thinking they would have to jump to their deaths later that morning.

But, 9/11 is essentially what is going on in a depressed persons head every day. It’s dark, it’s hard to breathe, and you can feel at any second that the walls are going to collapse on top of you and the only way to be free is to end it all. Instead of suffering the slow death of anxiety and depression, you would rather be free from it all by making that jump.

There is nothing selfish about committing suicide. It’s not the option we hope people choose, but when it happens, it’s not our place to judge them and figure out their motives or intentions. Death, regardless of how it happens, is a heavy topic that needs to be talked about more often. Mental illness isn’t something people fully understand and if you’re not dealing with mental illness, then consider yourself fortunate, but don’t ever think you have the right to call someone selfish for making an illogical decision. Until you are in their shoes, no one will grasp the logic behind depression. To call someone selfish only makes you out to be selfish because you’re only thinking about your own understanding. You think a depressed person should be able to comprehend everything you know, but that’s not the case. People need to study mental illness as if it were part of their job at work. It’s important that we have these discussions and it needs to be taken very seriously. Mental illness is not a joke. You are not OCD if you are a perfectionist. You are not Schizo if you are a bit awkward. ADD is different from ADHD. Someone who is thinner than most isn’t always anorexic. And depression isn’t just waking up sad one day. I hope people begin to talk about mental illness as they do with gun control.

Of course, if you’re dealing with depression, feel free to message me and we can talk about it. No judgment, no fear, no analyzation. Just two people talking in a safe space. And if you are severely depressed, please call someone who can help you. Call a relative or a friend who you know will listen to you. Your life is more important than you know. It’s never game over. 

[ericdanielmedina]

The Joy of Failing

Growing up as a child who was always faced with head on challenges, I always believed that failure was the worst thing to ever happen to me - and to some degree, yeah, it kind of was and it still kind of is. I mean, if someone were to ask me, “Eric, what’s your biggest fear?”. The obvious answers would be to explain my physical fears: planes, heights, giant spiders, and germs. But, the biggest fear is the one that gets way under my skin - like Frank-Sinatra-getting-under-my-skin-kind-of-fear (for all you Sinatra fans out there). Because from the time we enter school, we are constantly being judged, critiqued, graded, and rated. And we will constantly be judged, critiqued, graded and rated for the remainder of our adult lives by our jobs (whether we’re a good useful employee), by our friends (whether we’re a loyal friend), and by your significant other (whether you’re a fitting partner). And chances are we are going to fail everyone at some point in our lives. We’re even going to fail ourselves, which is also a very scary thought. But at some point, you’re going to have to accept that failure can be the best thing to ever happen to you.

No, I’m serious, it really can be the best thing to happen to us. But even as an adult, it took me so long to realize this. I’ve failed in almost everything you can think of. I’ve failed friends, failed relationships, failed family, failed colleagues, failed exams, failed at sports, and the list goes on and on. Just a lot of failing. 

But it wasn’t until someone made me realize that even the greatest people in the world have also failed. 

Steve Jobs, one of the greatest tech pioneers of our lifetime, was fired from his own company. That seriously has to be the lowest of the low. But he was really hard to work with and his company was failing, so there was no other choice but to remove him. After leaving Apple, Jobs even admitted that he was a “public failure”. However, after being publicly embarrassed, Jobs returned some years later stronger than ever. Steve Jobs once said:

“I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter into one of the most creative periods of my life. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it".

Knowing this story and discovering this quote completely changed how I looked at failure. Yes, I do still feel the sting of it, but just like with Steve Jobs, with every failure comes a chance to change and grow into a better person. Because if you’re constantly striving to win at everything and choose to never fail, you’re only allowing yourself to be the person you want to be, not the person who you need to be.

You have to be okay with failing. Now, I’m not saying to purposely go fail at everything, but realize that you cannot win at everything and sometimes you just have to let go. Some days you’ll fail lightly and some days you’ll fail hard. You’ll hit that ground so hard that you’ll never want to get back up. And as Rocky Balboa once said:

“It ain’t about how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

I remember all the rejection letters from the grad schools I wanted to attend and feeling depressed. I remember being completely broke from losing a job and not being able to obtain another. And I remember being constantly rejected from job interviews to the point where I almost had to pack up my things from San Francisco and move back home. I guess, if you know me, the rest is history - but I constantly had one failure after the other. Heck, I even failed my job interview at the job I have now. 

(I’ll probably write a separate blog on that later.)

But, failing was the best thing to have ever happened to me. I think it just really allowed me to appreciate all the hard work it took me to get where I am now. I know if I had received everything that I wanted without ever failing and without the hard work, I would most likely take advantage of my success and become arrogant, conceited, and lose appreciation of what I obtained, because I’m human and we love winning. But I failed so that I wouldn’t become that of type person. And I’m still failing to this day. There are days where I feel like I failed my supervisor and I go home feeling cruddy all day, because I know I let someone down. 

I’ve even failed past partners. I’m pretty sure I could be considered one of the worst boyfriends by some of my exes. My heart was always fickle, my mind was clogged, and I hated myself for being that way. Here’s a guy who dreamt of falling in love with a girl since high school. He thought he’d find the love of his life on the first try, he thought it would be easy, but he thought wrong. All he did was break hearts and that left him lonely in the cold. It wasn’t until only a couple years ago that I decided that I needed to fix myself. It took my heart to be broken to finally wake up and become a better person, because I was tired of failing girls and myself. But even so, like everything else in life, I still failed. Not as badly, but I still wasn’t perfect. But, I am constantly learning and I know I’ll be prepared for when I do choose to be with someone, or someone chooses to want to be with me (I know I’m not really selling myself here, though).

But, what am I saying here?

I’m saying to go and fail. Fail as many times as you can. Don’t be afraid to fail and don’t feel like you’re a lost cause if and when you fail. And don’t let someone else make you feel like a lost cause because you’ve messed up. Life will give you a second chance if you allow it to. Don’t let one, or two, or three, or one hundred failures be the end of you. Yes, it’s going to suck each time you do fail, but the only worse thing than failing is giving up because you failed. If you really want to fail yourself and others, then you must give up. Call it quits. Run away and never return (as Scar once said to Simba). You must embrace failure to the point where failure has failed itself. That’s all you can really do. 

[ericdanielmedina]

Lovers Eyes

While most every Christian prefers to listen to worship music to bring them closer to God, I actually prefer listening to Christian-Secular artists like Creed, Johnny Cash, Lifehouse, Switchfoot, the Almost, Oh Hello’s, and U2. These are bands that have Christian members who write and sing Christian/Spiritual songs, but aren’t categorized as Christian Worship. I do like Christian worship music, but I do appreciate the honest, raw, emotional lyrics that non-worship bands have that almost everyone can relate to whether you believe in God or not. 

However, there is one band in particular that brings me ever so closer to God and makes me realize that though I am a Christian I’m also human; a human born with human flaws that make us all beautiful in the eyes of God: Mumford & Sons. This isn’t your typical Christian band. These are a group of guys who are very raw, very honest, and very genuine in their Christian faith. Each song is so poetic and beautifully written that it’s almost like you are in the presence of God. Though they have many great powerful Christian songs that deal with faith, praising God, sin, failure, redemption, and so much more, Lovers Eyes has to be my all time favorite Mumford & Sons song, because it’s so many stories wrapped into one piece. 

Lovers Eyes tells a beautiful story of a man’s love for sin, but hates that he is a slave to it and begins to seek forgiveness and redemption from God. The song starts off slow and very emotional as the singer humbly sings of his weaknesses, but as the song continues, the tone becomes more powerful as if the singer is finally ready to overcome his sinful life and by the end of the song it becomes an epic triumph as the trumpets roar, guitar strumming becomes faster, and the drums beat ever-so loud for the man has turned into a conquerer of his sin and onto the righteous path.

As I was thinking of how to write this blog, I was wondering how I was going to tie this song in with Scripture. Then, I remembered a verse that my pastor read during a Sunday sermon: 

Romans 7:15-20, “15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

That is a lot of “do’s and do not’s”, but what is Paul saying here? Paul, one of the most righteous men of the New Testament, hand chosen by Christ himself, still struggles with being a slave to sin. Paul is saying that he always wants to do the right thing, but ends up doing the wrong thing he never set out to do. Isn’t that like all of us? Haven’t we been in that place where we want to do right with God, but end up choosing the wrong decision that brings us to sin? 

Maybe it’s going to a party with the intention of not getting drunk, but you end up getting drunk because of peer pressure. Or maybe it’s choosing to watch a movie, but choosing to watch pornography instead. Or maybe you’re dating someone and you’re debating whether to have sex with that person when you know you shouldn’t. These types of behaviors tend to be caused by peer pressure, insecurities, and addictions. These are lives we don’t want to live in, but many of us do. Many of us are addicted to something, whether it’s porn, sex, drugs, or even little things like phones and social media; things that you put first in your life above all else. 

I am someone who can definitely relate to this song, because a year ago, my life was so enslaved to sin; sinful actions, sinful desires, and sinful thoughts. I not only hated my sin, but I hated myself for committing those sins. The me committing those sins was not the real me, but an imposter who made me feel the sin was a part of me. Committing those sins was a life without God and when we choose to let go of God, sin becomes more accessible, because we have no one to convict us of right from wrong. 

Romans 6:20 says, “When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness.” Meaning you basically lived a life according to your choosing. There was no one to hold you accountable for your actions. You were only bound to your sin and nothing else. 

To not sin anymore is an impossible task. I’ve spoken with some religious fanatics who have claimed to have stopped sinning 100%. Though that is a great claim to make, it is also a great lie. To those who don’t believe in God, or a god, committing a sin is not a sin because they don’t know of God. For some, sleeping around is just human nature, our pure animalistic instincts we were born with. People will get into the who psychology and biology of it all, but for those who do believe in God, we can’t come up with excuses to live a selfish and destructive lifestyle. It’s one thing to say you hate the sin, but it’s another thing to hate the sin and continue to live in it. Some people believe the sin is who they are and they can never change. Breaking a sinful lifestyle is like breaking an addiction. You have to ease into it. It takes a long time to overcome bad habits and addictions. You’re going to upset a lot of people along the way and even maybe lose the ones you love, but in the end it’ll be worth it because you’ll feel happier, you’ll feel better, and you’ll feel more free. There’s a reason why the song ‘Amazing Grace’ is one of the most popular songs to this very day. It’s a song of finally being free from the life you used to live. It’s a song of hope and victory over sin. Mumford and Sons’ ‘Lovers Eyes’ is the bands ‘Amazing Grace’. As the song comes to an end, and the trumpets and drums blare, the final lyrics of humility are shouted, “I walk slow. Take my hand help me on my way.”

[ericdanielmedina]

By Their Fruits

Imagine you are at a farmers market. You want to buy some fresh fruit. You head over to the booth that sells peaches (I like peaches, so I’m going to use peaches for my example). When you get there, you find a huge pile of peaches stacked on top of each other. There are so many to pick from, but you don’t want to pick just any peach. Your peach has to be perfect. So what do you do? You inspect the peaches. You check for bruising, signs of deformation, mold, and level of ripeness. You pick up each peach individually and begin turning the fruit around in your hand. If it’s bad then you put it right back. If it’s good, then you add it to your bag. Then, you do the same for however many peaches and other fruits you want to buy. We are able to distinguish a good fruit from a bad fruit simply by looking a little closer at it. If we didn’t stop to analyze a peach or any other fruit, then we’d have a bag full of good and bad peaches, apples, grapes, strawberries, and that would be a very risky thing to do, not just with our money but also our health. As people, we know the characteristics of a good fruit versus a bad fruit just as Christians and even non-Christians know the characteristics of an authentic follower of Christ. 

First of all, I don’t want to say the word “judge”, because we’re reminded by Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” So, I’m going to say “examine”. We examine people like we examine our fruit. For this, I want to look at Matthew 7:15-16a: 15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits”.

I first want to focus attention on the first part of the verse (v15). The verse in it’s entirety is looking at people who come to preach the gospel of Christ, but are misleading people down the wrong path. Think of Westboro Baptist Church or a cult religion. These are people who may call themselves Christians or followers of Christ, but their ways of thinking are inaccurate according to Scripture. According to those Christian protestors you always see on your college campuses, they believe if you love anything but God, then you are instantly condemning yourself to hell. I once saw a sign that read, “Sports fans are going to hell”. I get that people can be pretty obsessive about their favorite sports teams (i.e. my mom), but being a Giants fan or any other sports fan isn’t going to condemn anyone to hell. Sure, an obsession or addiction isn’t good, because we shouldn’t have any other gods but our God (Exodus 20:3). However, it’s not an unforgivable and eternally punishable sin. These are the kind of so-called false prophets we read about in Matthew chapter 7. These people are preaching the word of God, but are twisting the true meaning of it’s context.

However, we can also interpret this verse to people who claim to be followers of Christ, but we don’t see anything Christ-like about them. These are people who go to church but curse like a sailor, speak vulgarly about other genders, sleep around with other people, are selfish, and lack love and compassion for others. 

The best example I can give here is our current President of the United States, Donald Trump. Throughout his campaign, Trump constantly reminded Republicans and his supporters that he was indeed a Christian, as if that was a bonus for voting for him. He read and still reads from Scripture from time to time. He acknowledges God as the creator of all mankind. And he has a strong respect and compassion for Christian refugees in Syria. So, to sum it all up, he reads from the Bible, believes in God, and cares for the Christian people. To some Christians, that sounds like a pretty good Christ-like person, right? Yes, those are some good characteristics to have as a Christian, but if you look closely those are only words, not actions. Remember, just like the peach, we have to look a lot closer. Just because he reads from the Bible during a press meeting doesn’t mean he reads the Bible daily. Because he believes in God doesn’t mean he actually worships God or has a relationship with him. And just because he says he cares for Christian refugees doesn’t mean he truly knows how to love people.

Now, I’m not saying that Trump is not a Christian. That’s between him and God, but this leads me to verse 16, “You will recognize them by their fruits” . If I were to look at all of the characteristics that make up a Christian, I would be hesitant to call him a follower of Christ. Of course, no Christian is perfect. A year ago, I would be hesitant to call myself a follower of Christ. No Christian should ever say to a non-believer or even a fellow Christian that they are better than him or her because they aren’t spiritual enough. For this, you can check out my ‘Spiritually Unfit’ blog. For me, characteristics of a Christian include: love for others, humility, slow to speak and slow to anger, looks to God for guidance, and is constantly seeking God to improve his or her life. If we were to examine Trump, we would see that he is racist, sexist, proud and arrogant, lacks compassion for others, is not slow to anger, has a sharp tongue (or, in this case, thumbs), and constantly lies. I can go on, but you get the gist of it. We are examining Trump like we examined our peach and Trump definitely has some “deformations” that can easily be seen by others. Donald Trump doesn’t represent the typical Christian. He’s brash, rude, and doesn’t care if people like him or not.

For Christians who may say, “Oh, I’m better than Trump. I don’t ever say nasty things about women. I love and respect everyone”. I have met many Christians who never say anything nasty about women, but they sleep around with them to “fulfill their sexual desires”. You see, as long as they feel it’s consensual, then it’s okay to engage in sexual activity regardless if it’s out of love or not and if Christians just see girls as a sexual gateway then their ways of thinking is no different than of Trump’s. We have to remember that we, as Christians, are constantly being watched by the world. We already have a bad name given to us by society. And I’m not saying to be good in public but naughty in the privacy of your own home. We have to be able to set the example no matter where we are. This goes back to 2 Corinthians 5:20 “We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us”. We are meant to be representatives of Christ and I know it’s not an easy thing to do all the time. If anyone knows about failing his duties as an ambassador of Christ, it’s me. But why is it so important to be an ambassador? Because if we want to draw others to Christ, but we are engaged in our own agenda, how are we supposed to do so without being a hypocrite? I have a friend who is in the beginning stages of learning about God and Christianity. When I am around my friend, I always show a great amount of Christ-like behavior. If I am trying to guide my friend through Christianity and I’m over here talking about sex and cursing like a sailor, then my friend is going to get the wrong impression about what Christianity really is and may retreat. That’s not what I want and that’s not what we should want to do.

People are going to be examining us by our fruits daily and the question you have you have to ask yourself is, “am I a good or bad fruit?” Because once other Christians see those “deformations” they’re going to put us right back not because they don’t care or love us, but because of 1 Corinthians 15:33 says “Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character"”. We are told to help one another if a brother or sister has gone astray and off the path of righteousness, but we also have to be careful that we don’t fall into temptation of their sins along the way (Galatians 6:1). Having good fruits isn’t meant to impress other people. It’s meant to build a stronger relationship with God. I don’t always say the right thing at the right time, but I always have to be careful that what I say or do won’t make others see me or Christianity in a negative way. When I think of being an ambassador of Christ, I am always reminded of those woven bracelets that we used to wear as kids that read: WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?). Asking ourselves “what would Jesus do?” is easy, but it’s actually answering the question that’s not easy. 

In the end, we have to be able to examine ourselves. We have to say to ourselves, “Okay, is what I am doing Christ-like?”, “Am I being a good ambassador of Christ?”, “What are the things I need to work on?”. Of course, we won’t ever be a perfect peach to people. We will always have “bruises” and “deformations”, but if we recognize our flaws, then we become more aware of who we are and who we should be. To God, that’s just peachy.

[ericdanielmedina]

Divine Absence

"God Isn’t Fixing This”. Those are the words that were plastered on the cover page of the Daily News. The headline refers to politicians who only send ‘thoughts’ and ‘prayers’ to victims of tragedy instead of taking action by fixing the problems themselves. However, though humans are given free will to do what they please, what if God isn’t fixing this because America abandoned God and, therefore, God abandoned America?

A few months ago, the pastor at my church talked about something that really got my attention. Divine Absence. The idea behind divine absence is that God will purposely abandon his people. However, you might be thinking about Scripture where its says that God will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6), so how can God abandon us? 

In Isaiah 59:2, it says:

“But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear”. 

As Americans, we pray and pray for God to help us through these hard times, but there seems to be no answer. This is what we call a ‘lament’, in which we cry out to God because he has not acted or revealed himself. At one point, America acknowledged God. We gave thanks to God, but we have changed our ways. We’ve become seekers of self-pleasure, over sexualized, unloving, full of hate, greedy, racist, and we have turned away from God to the point where we want to get rid of God completely from this nation. People want God off of currency, off of government property, out from schools, and so on. Now look at us. People have turned on one another. We are killing our neighbors, hurting our loved ones, and harassing people we don’t even know. In a matter of one year, this country has turned upside down and have forgotten everything we stood for. 

In the Bible, we see this separation from God in two places:

1) David: Psalms 22: 1-5 

“1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, from the words of my groaning? 2 O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer; and by night, but find no rest”.

Here, we see this clear divine absence from David. As much as he calls onto God, God does not come to his aid. David feels helpless and alone. However, unlike us, though David feels abandoned by God, he continues on to say this:

“3 Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel. 4 In you our ancestors trusted; they trusted, and you delivered them. 5 To you they cried, and were saved; in you they trusted, and were not put to shame.”

In his time of suffering, David still praised God and trusted him to deliver him from his sufferings.

2) Jesus: Matthew 27:46

“About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?").”

Here, we see Jesus cry to God just as David did in Psalms. We see that Jesus was also abandoned by God during his crucifixion. This so-called abandonment did not occur because Jesus or David sinned. Jesus was perfect, so there would be no reason for God to abandon him, but he did. 

We learn that God will abandon his people so that His plan will be done according to His will. If God intervened with Christ’s death, then there would be no salvation. It’s because of God’s love for us that he does abandon us. I’m sure there have been moments in our lives where we asked our parents for help, but they turned and said, “No, you need to figure this out on your own, so you can grow to be mature, independent, and learn from your mistakes.” For some, we did grow and learn. For other, we grew to despise our parents, but if we just begin to push our parents out of our lives, then we’ll never hear from them again and the relationship will be broken. The same goes for us and God.

God abandoned David not because he sinned, but to test his faith. God will put us in similar situations to test our faith as well. He will make us desperate for him. However, two things will either happen when God turns his back: 1) Our faith will grow or 2) We let our faith be destroyed and we find no use for God anymore.

We used to know what it’s like to have God in this nation, but now that God isn’t there when we need him the most, we too feel abandoned. It’s one thing to long for something we never had, but it’s another thing to ache for something we once had, but have no longer.

By reading the news, I can tell this country has not only lost hope, but has lost faith. We want God to intervene, but how can he if we don’t even want him here? We can pray all we want, but God may have a different plan for us. Maybe this is a time for America to begin to love each other and appreciate not only our lives, but others as well. Sometimes we just need bad things to happen to wake people up and get them back on track with reality. However, the complete opposite could happen and everything could be going downhill from here and we can say goodbye to a nation that was once so great. I’m not saying that we should all begin to accept God, because I know we all believe in different things, but we need to at least change our ways of thinking and acting. 

Yes, God is not going to solely fix this on his own. We need to do our part as a united nation as well, but what we do is going to determine whether we make it through this or not. Honestly, the future of this nation is our hands and right now it’s slipping through our fingers.

[ericdanielmedina]

So, I don't know how your posts don't have more notes. They're incredibly well-written and insightful. I like you.

Wow, thank you so much for your feedback. That really means a lot to me.