foxdendreamer

[foxdendreamer]

I walk this empty street

On the boulevard of yoted yeets

[foxdendreamer]

A Tale of Retail #1

A customer came in buying a bunch of fake flowers. We regularly get customers buying these for relatives, weddings, etc. I began ringing up all his flowers.

Customer: "You can probably guess where all my relatives are."

My half asleep brain looks down, seeing lilies, ranunculus, and daisies: "....a warmer climate?"

The customer, without skipping a beat: "No, the cemetery."

I am now dying inside. Me: "Oh jeez I'm so sorry, I forgot Memorial Day is coming up."

Customer, now solemn, snarls: "Maybe it IS a warmer climate for them."

I am not prepared for these kinds of interactions.

[foxdendreamer]

Even as the eyes dull with apathy

A soft smile and a delicate heart

Tear apart the gravity

Of the situation we live in

You might think it bland

But take my word as truth

The youth of hopeful souls

Can fix what is broken

[foxdendreamer]

Y'all can laugh at my broken car mirror, but that's the most broken thing in my life rn, so I'm all good.

[foxdendreamer]

The greatest lie since reading the terms and conditions: checking the temperature of your microwave meal to ensure it's been thoroughly cooked before eating.

[foxdendreamer]

If someone as socially inadequate as me has a hard time staying single, there is someone out there for you.

[foxdendreamer]

Dean Winchester is the most useless stapler.

[foxdendreamer]

[foxdendreamer]

You're not a wall flower, you're a mural.

[foxdendreamer]

Black Tea

Your sweet aroma

And earthy tones

A note of love

Warmth in my bones

Caress my lips

Hold me close

My heart was yours

When steam arose

[foxdendreamer]

Old people need to friggin stop telling me not to yawn. Like bitch, do you think I can control that shit? Can you? Cause if so that's fucking impressive. Like yeah, I'm gonna yawn at noon if I've been at work since six in the morning. And then fucking Betty over here is like "Well I've been awake since five." Well that's cause you're OLD, Betty! This is not a goddamn competition!

[foxdendreamer]

Earth is Sweet

Imagine a world that is exactly the same as ours, but instead of drugs like cocaine, meth, etc., candy is now drugs. Bakers are now mafia/ crime lords. Sugar addiction is the worst problem we face, and children all over the world are addicts. Now imagine Halloween being a Purge of sorts to stave off the tiny addicts till the next year. Imagine what they'll do to get inside your home, and take your candy stash.

If some writes a story, please let Buddy, the guy from Cake Boss, be the most powerful baker in the world.

[foxdendreamer]

Single Pale Rose Theory

So, if Steven is- technically speaking- Pink Diamond, and owner of Pearl, could he possibly undo his mother's last orders to Pearl, thus allowing her to talk freely about what (else) she knows?

[foxdendreamer]

I'd remember to take my meds more often if they came in gummy form.

[foxdendreamer]

Well, my hamster enjoys the taste of my blood and will go after my fingers to eat them.

[foxdendreamer]

The government needs to send a letter to every person when they become an adult, telling them about important deadlines for government stuff. Why the hell can't you sign up for health insurance at any time? So I'm fucked for the next 9 months? Or maybe there should be a high school class on how to handle this shit.

[foxdendreamer]

Sorry Spongebob, I'm not ready. Not sure if I ever will be, either.