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Making a bag from a broken umbrella

A few years ago I saw a broken but cool umbrella on the side of the road. (The Welsh climate kills tens of thousands of umbrellas every month, it's very sad.) Someone had hand-stamped yellow bees onto a black umbrella and it looked badass. I rescued it with the intent to turn it into something cool, and recently I got around to it and succeeded:

It's a super-lightweight, fast-drying, very strong shopping bag. Umbrella fabric is perfect for this. The only part that didn't get used is the very tip of the umbrella, and there was enough fabric for TWO bags.

It was pretty easy and fun, so here I am to show you how I did it.

You will need:

Sewing machine (though you could do it by hand)

Broken umbrella with intact fabric

Stitch ripper, or tiny scissors, or big scissors and good fine motor control

Reel thread and bobbin thread that you think looks nice with the umbrella fabric

Pins

Set square

Tailor's chalk

Wide drawstring band type stuff for handles - about a metre? (Or you can make something from random fabric in your stash.)

Scissors

The chalk and ruler and stuff are pretty optional if you are happy to just eyeball it and hope for the best.

How to do it:

The bag bit

Remove the fabric from the umbrella frame. Take your stitch ripper or scissors and very carefully snip the stitches at the point of each umbrella spoke. You will then find that there is probably another set of stitches around halfway up each spoke, so cut those too. Then cut the fabric around the tip of the umbrella, because it's probably attached very securely.

Then fling the umbrella frame into a bin and never think about it again, or turn it into a cool spider sculpture.

Carefully remove the velcro fastening strap. We will need it later, so keep it all in one piece - use the stitch ripper or tiny scissors.

Cut the umbrella fabric in half. The umbrella will have an even number of segments, probably eight. It's tempting to cut it along a seam, but if it has eight segments it'll work better if you cut it along the middle of the opposite panels, like so:

Fold your semi-circle in half with the seams on the outside (right sides together), like this:

Roll-and-pin and sew the open side - this one:

Edit: I had someone ask me what roll-and-pin means, so I asked my sewing friend if it was obvious what I meant by it, and they said they were not sure! So, this is what I mean:

You fold in the edge, and then fold it in again, to make a little roll.

Then when you sew along the middle of the roll it catches and traps the raw edges. That way it can't fray or unravel.

Pinning this way (perpendicular to the edge instead of parallel to the edge) makes it easier to sew with a sewing machine because you're a bit less likely to bang your sewing machine needle into a pin. However, do take them out just before the needle gets there, or at least go slowly over the pins, if you can.

Trim the bottom off. How much you trim off will depend on how big your starting umbrella is and what shape you want your bag to be, but maybe 10cm or so?

Make a mark about 10cm from the bottom along one of the pre-existing seams.

Use a ruler (or a piece of string or whatever) to measure the distance along the pre-existing seam from the top corner to the mark.

Measure the same distance along the other seam from the other top corner, make another chalk mark.

Draw a line across the whole width of the quarter with the ruler, joining the marks. This should make the chalk line parallel with the top flat edge.

Make another line about 2cm below it, and then cut along the bottom line.

Then roll-and-pin and sew along the remaining chalk line.

Sew the side seams. Mark them on using the set square and the chalk, and then pin them and sew. Make the sides square with the top edge.

These triangles on the sides are going to become inside pockets, so also sew a square line along the bottom. That'll stop tiny things from getting stuck in the point of the triangle.

Sew the top edge of one pocket to the side of the bag. The bag is inside out at this point, so when you sew the pocket to the "outside" (wrong side) it'll end up inside the bag when you turn it right-side-out at the end.

I recommend pins for positioning the pocket. The stitches will show on the outside of the bag, so bear this in mind when choosing your thread. Try and keep everything nice and flat so there's no bunching; the triangle should fold over exactly on the vertical stitches along the side and then the pocket should lay flat against the side of the bag. Be careful to only sew through one side of the bag, and only through the adjacent side of the pocket.

Flip the bag over, and do the same on the other side.

The top left and right corners can be pretty weak because the ends of several seams meet there, so...

Roll the top over outwards and hem. That's wrong-sides-together.

That's the bag part finished!

Handles

Grab your wide drawstring fabric tape stuff. (Or, cut a really long rectangle 6-8cm wide, sew along the long open edge so it makes a tube that is open at both ends, and then turn the whole tube inside out so that the seam is on the inside.)

Choose how long your handles will be. This is a very personal choice. Do you want to carry it on your shoulder, or in your hand?

Or... both, like this Ikea bag??

It can help to pin them onto the bag to get a feel for what it'd be like to hold. Here's what we're approximately going for, with your bag inside out:

Add 3cm to the length of one handle, cut it, and then cut the second to match the length before you sew anything on.

The extra 3cm is because you're going to fold over 1.5cm at each end when you attach it, to stop it unravelling.

Pin one end of one handle. The bag should still be inside out, i.e. the "wrong side" is still facing outwards. First fold 1.5cm at the end of your handle, and then attach it about a third of the way along one side of the bag, on the wrong side. The 1.5cm flap should be tucked underneath itself, between the handle and the bag.

I often have to use two pins to keep the handle really square with the top edge.

Measure how far it is from the side seam, and pin the other end of the handle the same distance from the other side seam, being careful not to twist the tape.

Sew the handle to the bag. Start with a square, remove the pins without lifting the sewing machine foot or breaking the thread, and then sew a cross through the middle of the square. Sew over some stitches you've already done and then reverse over them, to make it really secure.

See how sewing the handle down secures and tightens the loose woven ends of the handle stuff:

Do the same on the other side of the bag with the other handle tape.

Fastening

Turn your bag right-side-out. Lay it flat and then fold it up the way you kind of instinctively want to when you're trying to pack it away really small.

Grab your little velcro fastening strap from earlier and play around to find a good place to put it. The back of the soft side of the velcro will get sewn onto the bag.

Grab your tailor's chalk and draw an arrow where the stitched-down end of the velcro is going to go, with the arrow pointing in the direction that the tape will be lying when you unfold it.

Flatten out your bag again, and pin the back of the soft end of the fastening strap down onto your arrow, with the flappy end lying in the direction of the arrow. Again, you may need to use two pins to keep it square. Make sure you only put the pins through one layer of bag fabric.

Use the same technique as you used with the handles to sew the fastening strap down.

YOU ARE NOW DONE.

Lay it down and roll it up and fasten it a few times and bask in smugness. You earned that dopamine, and you should enjoy it. Fill it with tins to test the strength and marvel at your handiwork.

You can also make a second bag with the other half of umbrella, if you're into that. It will be exactly the same, but without the little velcro fastening strap.

Optional:

Reblog with a photo of your new umbrella bag. :D

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Add realism to your fantasy stories by having characters from different backgrounds struggle to pronounce each others' names.

"My name is [low guttural sound] but I don't want to hear you butcher it. So you may call me She Who Arises With The Cold Mountain Sun."

"...Is that what your name really means? All that in just one word?"

"Yes. If you stress the wrong syllable it comes out as 'She Who Coldly Wakes Up The Mountain Sun', or 'The Cold Woman Who Wakes The Mountain Sun', and you will not call me that."

"Oh, huh. Could we just call you Mountain Sun, for short?"

"Hmh. It's boastful, almost bordering on blasphemy, but it is flattering. I accept it."

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Oh my gosh. I just found this website that walks you though creating a believable society. It breaks each facet down into individual questions and makes it so simple! It seems really helpful for worldbuilding!

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I was there, my friend. I was there 3000 years ago, when the strength of men failed...

"Bluetooth? I've never bluetoothed anything in my life!" < said in a tone of outrage

"That's apparent, sir." < me, wishing I were literally anywhere else

In a fantasy setting, my job would be exactly the same

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Always a good time to burn down yet another village!

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Children Will Listen

I always wanted to be in a production of Into the Woods as the Witch. The song "Children Will Listen" has hauntingly played in my mind so many times throughout the years.

And yesterday, as my Eldest and I picked up the grocery order, I heard the words.

Careful the things you say Children will listen Careful the things you do Children will see And learn Children may not obey But children will listen Children will look to you For which way to turn To learn what to be Careful before you say "Listen to me" Children will listen

You see, I've been trying to teach the children how to be kind to those we see but for a moment. The person bringing out the grocery order. The barista at the coffee shop. The cashier at the drive thru.

These folks have people yelling at them every day, treating them terribly, making them feel like they don't matter. So, if we can say something to make them smile or laugh, maybe we can make a day better.

We can't change their circumstances or change their lives—but we can be a light in the darkness.

And yesterday, my Eldest called out to the man helping me load the groceries in the car, chatting with him amiably, and that man beamed in response.

"See, Mama! I made him smile!"

Oh, my Little. You listened.

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obsessed with cats that bark

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i love the -with mama trend but sometimes i get sad because that is clearly papa and he aint getting any credit raising those darn kids...

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It's never too late.

Hope will get us through.

We won't let the drive to make more money ruin everything because there are a lot of us that still care a lot.

why bother caring about the environment when 1. It’s so obviously a lost cause and 2. There’s definitely going to be a nuclear war?

And what are you doing about it Anon? Learn about ecological restoration or get out of my way.

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>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.

>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.

>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.

>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.

>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.

>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.

>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.

>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!

>Lemmings problem now solved.

>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.

>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.

>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.

>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.

>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.

>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.

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Characters who were raised by wolves but somehow still learn how to speak and act human despite of having spent the key developing years without human contact are both unrealistic and frankly kind of boring and overdone by now. Imagine a character team where one of them is a (somewhat) realistic raised-by-wildlife grown feral child, and the other one is essentially a glorified handler, who manages all the people-business for both of them.

And the companion is the only other human person that the feral one trusts in any way at all. Better yet, make them clearly be romantically involved with each other. Like

"Wait, she's your wife? ...Uh, with all due respect, but can she like... Can she even consent?" "Look lad. I respect you being worried for her welfare and for being direct about that instead of circlin' around so I'm gonna be straight about it right back at you: She's bigger than me, stronger than me, and frankly, I don't think she spent much time wondering whether I'm consenting."

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No transphobes allowed, only transborbs.

Check out my stuff!

✧Read Namesake✧ ✧Read Crow Time✧ ✧Store✧ ✧Patreon✧

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I’m generally not much for serial killer “fandoms”, but I make a specific exception for Jack the Ripper because you can make a reasonably strong argument that the guy never actually existed, and a lot of self-proclaimed Ripperologists get so annoyed when you bring that up.

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today we post everett true

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Dragons in the modern world II

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Can you draw the eunuch holding a little pride flag?

ill do u one better. pride tuckymojis <3