jazmine-here - Tumblr blog

[jazmine-here]

My heart dropped. You're going through way too much. I have a relative who deals with alopecia and it was hard to sit through when it was at its worst. I can't offer much from where I am, but I pray that this gets better for you.

Procrastinating washing my hair by researching scalp psoriasis... Yeah, I do have a coal tar shampoo, Neutrogena's T-Gel... Yeah, it's probably connected to the Hashimoto's hypothyroidism, cuz psoriasis is also an auto-immune disorder... I should go wash my hair with said T-Gel, again. I know it works. For a couple days at least. If I wash it twice with that & then again with H&S & then conditioner. So it's so long & involved & hair is falling out anyway... & my hair's still way past shoulder length so it's so much to get through just to treat my damn scalp. I gotta cut it shorter but it still needs to fit into a pony tail or my dad won't shut up & Oct 4th cousin's wedding with Qanon uncle isn't too far away so I need to not become a target -verbally or physically- for him either. & my brother. & the guy my cousin's marrying. & my other uncle. Meanwhile my scalp is so itchy & flaky, but all these men... I just wanna cry... But Hunny. Of course. Hunny. HE'D support me in anything, so far as even shaving my head, ESPECIALLY to treat a medical condition, if only dermatological. He's working til 8 & I'm supposed to pick him up & we're gonna go out. & when we get back & I ask him to help me cut it shorter, I know he'll be scared he'll "mess it up," but he'll do it. And if anyone says anything in front of him, their next conversation will be with the floor. ... So anyway this is also why I keep Ternion in my mind all the time. @jazmine-here

😭💝

Honestly, turns out, I swear I could've been diagnosed with that fic alone.

[jazmine-here]

I sketched this six years ago on my iPad! I was learning how to use that apple pencil.

[jazmine-here]

Words cannot express how much I'm happy to see you return to the internet. I know you don't remember me but I used to be a huge fan of yours during the early 10s! I was about 10 years younger than you and I remember we had nice discussions on both your DA and FB page. You updated me on your life and I was hoping you were doing well while you were offline all these years. It's good to see that you ventured into original works because even as a kid/preteen I saw that you were something special and had a rare talent for art and writing that few people have. The Sonic fandom used to be filled with so many talented and amazing artists who moved on to making original works and working on other official projects. You and that era of 00s/10s fandom will always hold a special place in my heart. <3

I was red in the face after I read your message. Thank you so much for saying everything you've said. Your words brightened up my day considerably. I still deeply regret my disappearance, but to be found by so many people from the past has had a healing effect on my heart. Whenever I start to beat myself up, I try to read messages from kind people like you.

You have to tell me your name (or old username) so that I can properly remember you! Everyone from that era holds a special place in my heart as well.

[jazmine-here]

Moongene and Elsa? I'm intrigued.

MOON-GENE-LSA

[jazmine-here]

Lemme read this, pretty please! It sounds great!

(For those who didn't open "keep reading," the story "Ice Play" is completely PG)

Going back over my WIPs for that WIP Update, I looked through my one-shot scraps to see if maybe I'd shoot one of them out, too. Perhaps start with the oldest? Liiike, "Ice Play," I think... So I opened it up, and... it IS indeed movie-based and a Frozen-crossover... & I do remember this piece, but I thought this title was something else. It's not the universe I thought. --seriously I must have just labeled this doc wrong, cuz... It's...

My own idea of if Elsa did get to go visit Eugene & Isolde in Corona first. In the original story, something happened to cancel that trip (I forget, not going to find it rn), and it was Eugene & Isolde who traveled to Arendelle first. In the original, as soon as they began entering the castle, (audience already knew this, but) how the maid was holding Isolde, made it more apparent to their immediate company what sort of issue was actually going on, while seeming to the rest of the crowd just a normal protection from the cold & privacy for being a tiny baby sole heir & only bloodline left, to possibly both kingdoms, depending how this visit went... In this, I was too curious, what if Elsa went to Corona first? What if it wasn't a gentle introduction like that? What if he was still keeping her from seeing Isolde? Finally having heels on the ground, finally being so close, finally able to get an answer - she wouldn't stand for anymore closed doors. Cue yet another dance of Eugene's: "It's not what you think!" I say "another," because we also -to this day in 2022- NEVER got an explanation for what could have possibly sparked a rumor of him fooling around with a maid (I do forget from when..), besides having so many internal enemies still. All he's said in his letters is that he obviously denies it, and, as far as I've understood, we the audience do indeed have no reason to believe he would ever, whether before or after. Regardless, he's trying to look his & Corona's best, because joining kingdoms does seem their best mutual option, but I don't recall the Storting liking him any better than his own parliament. But right now it's around 8pm. It's bedtime. They're alone. And he DOES truly want her to really understand. Baby Izzy was born with a cleft palette. So it's just them tucking her into bed together. 😭 . . . & btw if you're wondering where Rapunzel is in all of this while I've been rambling, uh...

[jazmine-here]

What a beautiful collage!

Elsa glares at him and jerks her chin out of his grasp. "You promised they would be safe. You still have yet to uphold your end of the bargain. Don't you dare touch her or any of my people ever again." Rumors of the Enchanted Forest and its 'Snow Queen' have ventured beyond Arendelle, piquing the interest of many curious men from powerful countries. Anna's duties as Queen of Arendelle are about to be put to the test, while Elsa and Honeymaren struggle to protect the forest and its inhabitants from intruders.

{ Read on AO3 }

[jazmine-here]

Old artwork from 2013.

[jazmine-here]

Did anyone ever download any Youtube videos from my old Youtube channel? I believe at point that I even changed the name to "Constellations of Me." @miranova23 @msmarshmallowmadness @thenamelessdoll @starspatter @tea-tower I'm still kinda hunting for lost content.

[jazmine-here]

More of my artwork from seven years ago.

Story was going to be a character for my potential fiction, “Lanterns on the Lake,” which was titled after a group that played some part in orchestrating the atmosphere of the plot with their lovely song, “The Places We Call Home.” The story was a paranormal drama. Quite frankly, I remember “Casper” before I remember “Sixth Sense,” so I wanted “Lanterns on the Lake” to be a little bit of both. Nothing “kiddy cheesy” or “endlessly horrifying,” but something that showed “the good” and “the bad” equally. Story was meant to be a lonely introvert whose only friend was a ghost trying to protect her from “the bad spirits.” The fiction had a lot of Studio Ghibli influence.

[jazmine-here]

Just got after effects and of course had to test it on the OTP.

[jazmine-here]

I still enjoy these two after all this time, @tea-tower.

[jazmine-here]

I remember this back in the daggone day! @aninkwellofnectar

The old fic in question: Indentured ♕ (Union of the Crowns)

fanfic posters

indentured (union of the crowns)                      by @otherwise-uncolonized​

[jazmine-here]

Artwork by @swordmaid, @jubberry's sister.

This is a list of the 2015-2017 Frozen/Tangled stories within my old Union of the Crowns series, which is for teens and up.

[❄]༻♕༺[☀]

(Part 1) My Dearest Cousin【༺❄】

Summary:

Queen Elsa writes a collection of letters to King Eugene after a tragedy in Corona's castle. "He realized—with a renewed inkling of the worst—that it hadn't taken long for her condolences to transition into negotiations." What will you believe as the spy?

(Part 2) Indentured ♕

Summary:

"Pregnancy complications compromised Queen Rapunzel's last expectancy to a degree in correspondence with her late mother's." A union between Corona and Arendelle begets an unwanted marriage between King Eugene and Queen Elsa after Queen Rapunzel passes away. Both monarchs must learn to make their political wedlock endurable even as xenophobia, Corona's famine, and the Southern Isles cast shadows over their crowns. "I'm counting the minutes just as you are, Eugene…"

(Part 3) Carry Me Anew ☆ﾟ.*･

Summary

He never looked at her on Rapunzel's birthdays. She told herself that she must have been an evil little substitute, this insignificant stand-in who embodied rime instead of sunshine.

(Part 4)【 The King 】

Summary:

Prince Hans's twelfth brother was called the "ugliest brother" because he wore a third-degree burn scar on his face. He soon finds himself obsessed with Queen Elsa after plotting against Corona with the King of the Southern Isles. "She drifted through the doors of Corona's castle in a black dress that rippled and lapped against the shore of his mind. Her face, marbled by porcelain and pain, was palled with a gray veil that waterfalled from her headdress. Such beauty was unspeakable."

[jazmine-here]

I'm putting some pieces of them from my teen years into one post.

[jazmine-here]

@aninkwellofnectar "Then the Prince at the end being able to see beyond her appearance which is a cool flip of what we typically expect which is women learning to love the beast in men." I wanted to see a pair like this myself, so I created this piece. Thank you so much for your thoughts!

Unicorn

My face is deformed and ugly

By Father, I am called a monstrosity

My teeth surpass my chin

My forehead has no end 

My eyes are small and askew

Those who tolerate me are few

Mother treats me like I am a goddess

But I can barely fit into my bodice

My sisters tell me that I am a monster

Yet there was one prince among men

Who loved me despite my sin

He said, “You are merely rare like a unicorn”

Then he pricked my finger with a thorn

And showed me that my blood looked red

Like that of the humans who stare at me with dread 

My name is Princess Estina

And I am the creature living inside Father’s palace

But to Prince Alexiel, I am as lovely as a golden chalice

A poem for a story-in-progress called "The Unicorn Princess" by yours truly. @aninkwellofnectar This one is meant to be a fantasy tale.

[jazmine-here]

Yep.

[jazmine-here]

Writer's Block: Nausea and Commas

Written by me in 2013.

i have this idea and it's epic.

my head feels like lead and mom's feet are on my back but i have this idea and it's everything i've ever wanted to write about but never did.

i try to picture the faces―the eyes―the dialogue―the commas between the heartbeats, and it feels real. nothing feels contrived. Times New Roman font and punctuated heart-lines are running down and out and it's real.

it's not throwing up purple prose and witty sentences for the heck of it.

it's not leaving my characters in paper cuts or folding them down the margin.

this is not about the grammar it's about my veins.

i want to leave the bed and write it down but it's 5:40am and i have to make breakfast at 6. There are boxes i still need to unpack; Mom needs her mattress out of the garage by 7. Then I have to help her set up her room and scrub the floors. The kitchen needs cleaning; the clothes need folding; I need money for groceries―does Dad have any? But I can't go without Mom because I don't like facing people's faces by myself; everyone's eyes end with periods and they never talk outside the brackets.

Maybe Mom will just let me push the basket. After that―....

crap.

I had this idea and it was epic but the semicolons broke up the heartbeats and i think i just broke the plot. i try to think back to the images. The faces have lost clarity [lens focus] and I can't make out the words. The edges of the font are blurry, and so are the character's chins.

Look at it―it's far out there now. Like the whole screen just boated out to the Atlantic Ocean and now all i've got left between my commas is sand and space.

Look―it's far up here now. it's not on my heart anymore it's on my eyelids.

i keep trying to pull it back down but it's making my eyeballs water. that must have something to do with the sunrise; whenever the sun comes up, i can't see my ideas anymore, because the heat always burns my thoughts and all i can think about is the sting.

i close my eyes. easier to see them in the dark. i wish i could put the pen to my brain and write them on the pinkest part before they're gone...

"Honey?"

There's an acid bubble in my throat; it's that feeling i get when i can't get the story up. or down.

"Honey, is everything okay?" The sun is peeking through Mom's hair, making the strands look gold.

"Yeah, Mom...just felt a little sick."

"Sick?" The wrinkles under her eyes have no stories or plot lines.

"Yeah, trying to figure out if I'm nauseated or hungry."

"Do you need tea?"

"No, thanks. I'll try to go back to sleep."

"If you say so...just don't throw up on the sheets."

i turn on my side and press my mouth against my wrist veins. i wish i could draw the story out of my blood with my teeth.

because i had this idea and it was epic...

...

...

...

...but now i can't find a heartbeat.