kaylamarieminor

[kaylamarieminor]

Pain

At what point does the pain stop? When will we no longer feel the strain? Shadows of the past begin to fade But the brokenness remains the same

Time moves on, yet we stand still Caught in memories that wont let go In our journey of healing, we may find some Wounds are too deep and never truly goes

Pain is a crazy emotion One that cant be healed with love and devotion Only the strongest survive The others.... it may kill them in the night

[kaylamarieminor]

I’ve been placed back

Back into a box

That took me

Too long to

Step out of

[kaylamarieminor]

You can put a gun to your head

Or pills into your mouth

Nobody would get it

Until you stopped breathing

[kaylamarieminor]

In the forest of sorrow trees weep

Sunlight hides shadows creep

My promises no longer to keep

In dreams of dusk is where heartache sleeps

[kaylamarieminor]

Darkness falls on tranquility not a whisper in the air

But in the quiet there's a beauty a mystery to share

It's not all doom and gloom it's the canvas of the night

Where stars paint stories in their soft and gentle light

[kaylamarieminor]

Pain

It’s excruciating to be so much alive but want to be dead.

My body yearns for the peace and darkness that comes with death.

[kaylamarieminor]

In the shadows, a demon lurks unseen,

Its grip tightening, unrelenting, keen.

It whispers seduction, promises a high,

But the price to pay is a soul that will die.

It starts with a taste, a momentary escape,

A temporary relief from life's cruel tape.

But soon it consumes, takes control of the mind,

Leaving no solace, no respite to find.

Like a venomous serpent, it coils around the heart,

Squeezing out all hope, tearing lives apart.

It feasts on dreams, hopes, and aspirations,

Leaving behind only despair and desolation.

The needle punctures, the poison seeps in,

A rush of euphoria, drowning out the din.

But as the high fades, reality crashes back,

Leaving the addict in a never-ending black.

The cravings grow stronger, the need becomes dire,

Tearing through the soul like a raging fire.

It devours relationships, shatters trust and love,

Leaving the addict isolated, lost in shadows above.

The body weakens, the spirit breaks,

As the addiction tightens its grip, it takes and takes.

Every moment consumed by the endless chase,

Searching for relief in a never-ending race.

But there is a glimmer, a flicker of light,

A chance for redemption, to win the fight.

With support and strength, the addict can rise,

Breaking free from the chains, reaching for the skies.

Addiction may linger, its scars may remain,

But with resilience and courage, there's hope to regain.

For the battle is not lost, the fight is not in vain,

And in recovery's embrace, a new life will reign.

[kaylamarieminor]

Facade

I wear it like a mask

It even covers my eyes so dim from the light that has been removed

It’s a heavy load to carry on your shoulders

Always acting like your fine

When you’re so aimlessly wondering

Out into the ocean waiting

For the current to take control

My body already so lifeless

I can take the mask off

Ill blend right into the dark deep sea

No light, no noise

Just at peace with the universe

As my soul is carried to depths so deep

No one has ever been

To never feel so worthless again

[kaylamarieminor]

You’re playing a dangerous game, darling.

I look deep into her blue eyes as my heart collides with hers

Every touch of her skin pulls me deeper and deeper in

My hands explore every inch of her body

Like the drugs I feen for she would be the one

Unlike the others before her though

I fell in love before

I ever even touched her

I craved her in the most innocent way

Her

Laugh

Smile

The way she purses her lips together when she’s mad

The love she has for shoes

How her hand would fit into mine

Which position she sleeps at night most comfortably

What routine she gets ready in every morning

The love she has for squishmellows that I will never understand

Traumas that she went through

Things that make her sad

There is a lifetime to learn all these things though,

Because that’s how long ill spend with her.

[kaylamarieminor]

Every day when I wake up it hurts to open my eyes knowing I have to wake up and face another day.

At what point is enough

When does the pain end

[kaylamarieminor]

Eu-pho-ri-a

Noun

A feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

Blue and green lines run through my eye sight as

I lay flat on my back staring up at the ceiling.

Chills run across my entire body as I lay there emotionless

Hoping this feeling never goes away

For once I don’t mind being alive

As the feelings in my body starts to reappear

I close my eyes reaching for the white pill

One more couldn’t hurt right?

3 years later I look in the mirror

Not recognizing myself

Hating who I have become

Looking at what I’ve done

A few more and ill be gone

[kaylamarieminor]

Losing myself in the stillness of the night

As I stare up at the ceiling

Praying to a god I don’t believe in

Take the pain away

If only for a few minutes

Make me feel nothing

No relief..

So I pop another and go to sleep

[kaylamarieminor]

The darkness reminds me that I’m alone and the daylight reminds me that I awoke another day in this shitty world.

[kaylamarieminor]

Bruises

My body slung onto the ground

My head slammed into the gravel

I laid there lifeless

Black sky

No sound

No strength

I found myself crawling

Into the bathroom

Pulling myself up

The sink held my dead weight

As I removed my clothing to shower

I tried to raise my arms above my head

Groaning in pain

I watched as my muddy clothes fell

Was the mirror lying to me

Why was my entire body black and blue

Who was this girl staring back at me

I stepped into the shower

The cold water

It washed over my bruises

My skin hurt so bad

The only thing my mind said....

Leave

Die

Leave

Die

Leave

[kaylamarieminor]

Death

Are you scared of it?

What happens after we take that last breath?

I laid there on the floor bleeding out looking up at the bathroom light. My body warm from the blood seeping out of my wrist the light fading from my eyes. I could hear a faint yell coming from the other side of the door.

“Please open the door”

Even if I wanted to it was entirely too late. In that second your face came into my mind. I reminisced of all the times we had. The special moments we shared. How much we laughed and cried. I couldn’t bring myself to understand why I could be so happy but feel so dark all at the same time.

At that moment I asked myself, “when I close my eyes for good will I be reunited with her at a later time, or in another life?”

Either way it was too late.

The darkness had consumed me and eventually it would consume everyone around me as they fight to understand my reasoning.

Im not scared of dying, my horrific thoughts that I endured everyday was what scared me most of all.

Nothing could be worse than that.

Dying would take away all the pain my mind causes me everyday.

The screams coming from the house as she walks in and finds my lifeless body lying on the floor

She grabs my face and is screaming for me to wake up

Nothing...

She jerks her phone out as she struggles to dial 911

“Her face is blue, she’s not breathing, and there is so much blood.. please help!”

They rush into the bathroom. “Give us some space” the paramedic and the corner steps in.

A few minutes later they comes out and say “I’m so sorry”

In that moment she will question everything. Every encounter, every conversation and she will ask herself “what did I do?”

What happens next?

She will automatically look for the note

“There is always a note”

3 hours later..

No note.

She sits down in the kitchen floor and complete darkness surrounds her.

That’s when she finally understood.

[kaylamarieminor]

Set free

Chains released

I felt my body as it released all ties.

Cut from my chest.

I felt the small sting and then my eyes went black.

They finally matched my soul.

I watched as you walked by, and in that moment you were a stranger.

A person I once thought I knew turned into someone I realized I never did.

After going through trauma for years I latched onto the first person who very selflessly shown me love.

Or what I imagined love to be..

[kaylamarieminor]

There is something calming about standing in the rain and feeling the water drench every part of your skin. It washes all imperfections away and in that moment you may feel as if you have been cleansed of any demons you’ve recently been fighting.