liseliza

[liseliza]

soulles eyes staring at me

escaping the universe i live in

because the air in here, is like poison for me

the walls are so thick, not even the heaviest water will slip through

the ceiling so low, my head is forced to constantly bow down

the soulless eyes staring at me

their pale long faces filled with confusion

burdening me with rejection

too afraid of the unknown

therefor my soul becomes a questioning hole

a place for them to dump their mold

their blue corpse

to empty for anything to stick inside

so it leaks in to me

oh, this black hole, the reason for my sorrows

is slowly eating me

[liseliza]

soulless shore

so i will sit at the shore

with this heavy rock stuck in my core

my pale soul, always needed more

i was mistaken and made people sore

i have closed and locked the last door

the weight of my dirty chore

was something my breathless body bore

all the dirt crawled under my skin, and sunk straight to my core

the dirt drowned my blood, and my skin is no more

i swore

i would no longer fight both parts in the war

therefor i live by the shore

every day, washing off all the dirt from the war

and wishing, my pale soul

will one day melt away with the shore

, and i will not be anymore

[liseliza]

my tears could grow gardens

filled with every flower

and forests with the tallest trees

even fill the deepest ocean and seas

but you wont let me

cry

[liseliza]

men in the suits

how long

for the men in the suits

to shut up

how long for the tongues

of the

men in the suits

to mold

after all the poison they deliver

how long

does it take to notice

that the the men in the suits

walks around

empty

[liseliza]

do you see me?

a portion of my heart

for your daily meal

and glass with my soul

to wash out with

i serve it with the deepest love

from deep inside my bones

from the bottom of my stomach

with every bit of my burning blood

and you eat it like it is nothing

you eat it like a

man

as if forests and trees grows with my heart in it

and as if oceans and oceans exists with my floating soul in it

and yet

i still keep my restaurant open

just for you

[liseliza]

where is my skin?

trapped under the tree

in the middle of the sea

the brenches graved in every part of my skin

i scream and i pull

trying to get free

but nothing will loosen the grip

all the brenches, and the all the wishpers

of the tree, is stuck and locked inside of me

every day it rains and it storms

the water filling up all the way to my core

soon i will not be here anymore

i cannot swim and i cannot breathe

all the air inside me

has left with my screams and all my tears

i am naked and i am nobody

my skin has been scraped away by the brenches of the tree

the tree just wants to hold me

but i does not know

that i cannot breathe in water

i only breathe air

so here i will sit and stare

untill the water fills my lungs

and my body is floating on its own

[liseliza]

jesus, lifejacket

thrown of my boat

in the middle of the big the dark and the blue

the deepest ocean

the storm is not calming

and i am drowning

who will save me?

i thought my boat was safe

i thought my boat would sail on the wave

i thought i could sail away

from every scary , every dark, and every blue

but here i am

gasping for air, in my deepest fear

Jesus

will you take me?

will you, save me?

will you even hold me?

he wont take me away, he said.

he will take me trough

the big, the dark and the blue

so i cling

i cling to Jesus, like a life jacket

my nails graved into his skin

my tears melting away with my sin

where have you been?

Jesus hold me

hold my dear heart, so near

i can not bear anything anymore

i can not breathe anything anymore

unless you bear it with me

unless you breathe your breath in my lungs

before I knew

the ocean was parted in two

and I could walk right through

but even then

Jesus held my weak body in his arms

He would not let go

because he would never let me bear anything alone

and I will let him

from now, I will let myself be held

because I can not breathe without a life jacket

In the middle of

The deepest

The darkest

And the bluest

Ocean

[liseliza]

my bones

my bones

my aching bones

i would rip them out,

and build you a house

of my

bones

drowning

in the deepest

darkest ocean

the ocean of truth

that you will never see my heart

my love,

the deepest heaviest of love

my weighing love, for you

stuck in my bones

it will never ever leave

my bones won't breathe, if your

if your heart is not beating

because of me

i can never walk again

i cannot speak anymore

i can not

i can hardly see

i dont remember me anymore

you have been gone for too long

this hole

this dark hole in my chest,

it wont close anymore

you cannot see my heart

my my heart

it is still waiting for you to see it

it is waiting in the ocean

you dropped it there

did you forget?

you dropped it

you dropped my heart in the ocean

and i

i gave it to you

i dont have a heart,

only these bones

these aching bones

filled with my love for you

i can rip them out too if you want to

but this hole it wont close

and these bones

they wont walk

if your heart

is not beating

because

of

me

[liseliza]

Jesus

i whisper a prayer for you

if Jesus would breathe life into you

with love, deeper than the bluest ocean

and joy, brighter than winter snow

fill every bit every drop

overflow your cup

silent tears drips from my eyes

i know my love, can never be deep enough

to fill you up

if only i could rip my heart out?

or maybe stretch my skin so thin

so you could come in?

i can burn alive, so my soul would melt

it could be your living water

so you would never ever have to go thirsty

i beg Jesus silently

with every bit and every drop of my cry

please, my Jesus.

could you give my heart away?

i just want you to stay

[liseliza]

mermaid

ocean

will you take me?

ocean

will you free me?

i can grow a tail?

or i can learn how to sail?

i am not a mermaid

but i am deeply afraid

of the revolution; fasade grey

the spring is going to fade

the flowers will get slayed

and i refuse to stay

ocean

you are the only thing i can wade

will you accept my invade?

i know i am unpaid.

and i am not a mermaid.

i just want to feel unweighed.

[liseliza]

hey! wanted to say that your poetry is just BEAUTIFUL. i recognise myself in every single word! so please keep going, angel

angel<3<3. I took a long brake from tumblr cuz idk i just did. But i came back to this, and you have no idea how HAPPY this made me. Thank you so much angel, i will deffo write more. love<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[liseliza]

excuse my pale skin

Intimidated by a man

Who don’t understand

That a war of a plan

Would never be in woman’s hand

I am terrified to know

That the beauty I know

Is melting snow

In your hands if you dare to hold

The peace I need and the peace you see

Is fire and ice if they were to compete

How dare I try your game when you Cheat

The prize is beer and my dead meat

With a apple in my mouth, and my body faced down at your table

Stab your fork and knife

And take a lovely bite of my dead body

My breath lifeless

While you eat

What a fucking creep

Stomp your cigars

And give me burn marks

How dare I not smile when your tongue barks

To walk between your cigars

Is like swimming with sharks

Exuse my pale skin

Its no light

In the cave you keep me in

Only feed me when I have become diengily thin

You say I look my best

When my bones don’t have skin

So

Exuse my pale pale skin

[liseliza]

Forever Winter

There has been a long winter deep in my bones

My heart and Soul is so so cold

I am so scared my body will be frozen

Forever

I think it has gotten to dark

Too cold deep in my heart

The water inside of me has turned to ice

There is nothing left inside of me

Other than snowflakes and heavy darkness

I dont think the spring

Will be able to wake up my sin

Ever again

What is spring without light?

What is flower seeds without water?

Nothing is left that to lag

Between the bed sheets

And wait for the frost to freeze me

Shut, gone and forgotten

My Soul is only cold and darkness

My body has become a

Forever winter

[liseliza]

blue, red, purple

break my fingers

from stopping the door

to slam shut

so you can still get in

sitting outside

waiting for you to come home

out in the northern cold

exuse me for spilling the wine

my fingers are blue

and my lips purple

from the northern snow

you ask how I broke my fingers again

and why every single shirt I own

is filled with red wine

your face has shown

you don’t like my presence

even if I give you the crown

you don’t like how I talk

you always end up leaving my town

one day the door will slam shut

hope hope hope

I am the one slamming it

[liseliza]

Fear

when i say it out loud

i sound like a little child

how embarrassing, that this is what I fear.

but when I’m alone in the sofa

and all the lights in all the lamps is dead

it comes again

the biggest shadow I have ever felt

it has bones and teeth that is filled with poison

it eats me alive

it creeps up on me from every angle

it paralyses me, and creeps in my veins, and feels up my blood

fills up my soul with feelings I don’t dare to even look at

the shadow can make me crawl to my mommy with only one breath

and that was all it took for me

a breathe

to realise that I am still that little child

and how can I tell that little child

it is embarrassing to be afraid

of all the unknowns

that I have to build a wall of stones

and climb it with my one bones

[liseliza]

bleed blood

when he takes over

Im so little and thin

Nothing is more sensitive than my sin

a single breath can make me fall

a single Word can make me crawl

back to my moms arms

and hide behind the thick tall walls

and cover my ears

while my mother screams

Im not scared of anything

Im scared of everything

its a home in me

that is filled with darkness, you only feel

its scraping, pulling and tearing

travelling through my blood

How do you Get rid of black blood?

by bleeding.

i have to bleed him out

and sew my skin shut

nothing will come in and nothing out

i will shut down

and stop talking and walking

and thinking and feeling

freedom

I think its called

or dying

but whats the difference

freedom is to die?

[liseliza]

Lump

I have to learn How to breathe

From the very start

I need to learn How to breathe

Properly

I haven’t done it in a while

I have forgotten how to

It is something in my chest

And in my throat

I think it is a fire

It is blocking the every piece of air

My bones is always in fire

Always in survival mode

I need to drown the fire

And learn to breathe

Again