madeleineroseslade-blog

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Everyday I wake up and have to remember losing you all over again.

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The Lies We Tell

We are all liars.

We all tell lies at one point or another.

Mostly it is to avoid some sort of conflict or punishment.

Sometimes it just becomes a habit we can't escape.

The Lies end up defining who we are as people.

Have you reached the point where you don't remember what is real?

Are the choices we make based off of the truth or on the Lies We Tell?

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I love too much.

I am vulnerable.

I put myself out in the world,

At risk of being hurt or broken.

I give so much,

But people only take.

Only around for the fun, the easy.

Never here for the messy, the painful.

There when you need me,

But where were you?

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Why is it that no one is there when I need them, but I’m there for them when they need someone?

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The scent of Petrichor,

The rain on the earth.

The feeling of snuggery.

A cozy, comfortable place.

To be a philocalist.

Lover of beautiful things.

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K,

I love you.

I miss you.

I want you.

But I don’t need you.

I’ve learned to survive on my own.

~Always and Forever,

M

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The recording in my last post doesn’t work so here’s the actual one. Whoops.

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Lyrics

Two am, where do I begin Crying off my face again The silent sound of loneliness Wants to follow me to bed

I'm a ghost of a girl That I want to be most I'm the shell of a girl That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room Can the lonely take the place of you I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again

Too afraid, to go inside For the pain of one more loveless night For the loneliness will stay with me And hold me till I fall asleep

I'm a ghost of a girl That I want to be most I'm the shell of a girl That I used to know well

Dancing slowly in an empty room

Can the lonely take the place of you I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again

Broken pieces of A barely breathing story Where there once was love Now there's only me And the lonely

Dancing slowly in an empty room Can the lonely take the place of you I sing myself a quiet lullaby Let you go and let the lonely in To take my heart again

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“We accept the love we think we deserve”

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I don’t think I’ve ever heard a truer statement.

This is my most favorite book of all time.

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Some people feel as if they were born in the wrong body. Trapped by the confines of they’re own skin and bones. Others are encaged by the limits of their own minds. Me, I feel as if I was born at the wrong time. Some wires got crossed by God or by whomever makes those sorts of decisions. I understand that people make mistakes but the Divine are supposedly perfect. Perhaps it wasn’t a mistake but destiny or fate of some sort. Maybe I was put here to do something of importance. As I was told recently I am an “old soul”. There is so much spirit and energy trapped inside of me that isn’t being used. In fact, it has been pushed so far down inside of me to the point of near extinction.

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Not afraid to die. Just afraid of not living.

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Why do I stay? He gets in the way of who I want to be. Free me. Battle in my mind stop wasting all my time. Too many sleepless nights. Is he toying with my mind? Does he love me? My own emotional chains keep me locked in a cage of my creation. Losing my grip I feel myself slip away from reality. Free me.

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She is herself truly and unashamed

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This is the first song I remember falling in love with. I have listened to it for hours on loop and it’s still my favorite song today. I hope everyone loves it as much as I do!

Lyrics-

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

I'm tired and I

I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

And then leave me alone

Don't try to wake me in the morning

'Cause I will be gone

Don't feel bad for me

I want you to know

Deep in the cell of my heart

I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep

Sing me to sleep

I don't want to wake up

On my own anymore

Sing to me

Sing to me

I don't want to wake up

On my own anymore

Don't feel bad for me

I want you to know

Deep in the cell of my heart

I really want to go

There is another world

There is a better world

Well, there must be

Well, there must be

Well, there must be

Well, there must be

Well...

Bye bye

Bye bye

Bye...

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I've always loved writing things and making up stories. I was a very imaginative child But writing long stories and journals could never capture my attention so I never really thought about writing as a profession. My thoughts on a page were always so random and jumbled up, it was confusing even for me to read. So I came across blogging seemed pretty easy to make a website to post my random thoughts and blurbs on (I also don't have any social media -sorry guys- I have noticed that it makes me anxious and that I really have no need for it). However, it was not as easy as it appears or as others make it seem. Even though I am a millennial, I am not the best at doing everything on a computer. I'm so used to all the hard things being done for me. But I did it and here I am!

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pet·ri·chor

/ˈpeˌtrīkôr/

noun

a pleasant smell that frequently accompanies the first rain after a long period of warm, dry weather.