michi-mystuff

[michi-mystuff]

I know that the term "loveless" can cause a knee jerk reaction with lots of people. I know the term can be tied to hurt feelings, painful accusations, silent worries and a strong urge to defend yourself.

But I need people, especially aros who aren't familiar with the concept, to understand that the reclaiming of that word is born from the very same hurt. Only instead of saying "I'm not loveless, I can still love" which often goes hand in hand with a silent "I am still worthy because I can love", loveless aromanticism asks "why am I, as an aromantic person, constantly having to defend my worth as a human being?" and "why can't we instead have a conversation about how respect for another person should not be tied to whether they feel one emotion?" and "why do you choose to reduce the vast complexity of lived human experience to one feeling?" and "what if I don't feel love? What if I don't understand love? What if I've been hurt by love? What if the concept of love makes me deeply uncomfortable, am I still allowed to exist in peace?"

The point is, I see many aros react in a hurt and defensive manner when confronted with lovelessness, and I see many loveless aros react to that in a similar hurt and defensive manner. and it's just all the same hurt.

[michi-mystuff]

not having sex is morally neutral. having sex is morally neutral

not engaging in romance is morally neutral. engaging in romance is morally neutral

not having friends is morally neutral. having friends is morally neutral

[michi-mystuff]

People really need to stop talking about aromantic people in such a way to suggest we need to, like, make up for our lack of romantic attraction? This ties into the whole "aromantic people can still date" and "aromantic people can have qprs" and "aromantic people still feel strong platonic love" pattern I keep seeing where it's as if people are trying to say "don't worry, they can still be mostly normal" and it is so frustrating to me as a non-partnering aromantic person and is likely even worse for aplatonic and loveless aros.

[michi-mystuff]

Hey, I hope you had a good thanksgiving!

Thanks, same to you!!

[michi-mystuff]

Non-loveless arospec ppl stop assuming posts by loveless people talking about love only mean romantic love.

When I say love, I mean love! All of it!

I look at any post by loveless ppl that says anything about their feelings about love or something and the notes are full of people acting like it's of course only about romantic love, because what else could it be about? Because of course everyone experiences platonic love, because it's actually platonic love that is required to be happy and a good and moral person, of course you can live without romantic love, but who could ever not experience platonic love?! Don't be ridiculous! /s

Stop it. Get rid of the idea that any emotion is morally pure and necessary to experiencing happiness or any other positive emotion. Holy fuck.

You need to detach the idea that love, all forms of love, have anything to do with morality and happiness. Love isn't the only type of emotion. And it's not an inherently "positive" one, because no emotion is inherently morally good and "pure" or positive. This doesn't just apply to romantic love.

[michi-mystuff]

"aromantic people are emotionless" "aromantic people are cold" Yeah, I am. I am indifferent and apathetic and detached and frigid, so what? Let me live my life and stop trying to make me "love" the way you do. In fact, stop trying to make me "love" at all. I don't even have to love my friends and family or my cat. I can care and support for these beings nevertheless. I can understand them and be there for them. And no, that is NOT love.

[michi-mystuff]

Hey so I had a question: how would I be able to tell the difference between a crush vs a squish(platonic crush)?

- a questioning aro ace

Hi, thanks for asking!! Actually, I don’t know what it’s like to have those kinds of feelings since I’ve never experienced romantic or platonic love before. From what I’ve read or heard, the definition of crush and squish is different for each person (there might be an academic definition tho), so you are the only one who can define your own feelings. I feel like you don’t always have to draw the line between these two concepts if it is difficult for you to name or label what you are feeling right now. I assume that this is not the answer you might expect and I’m so sorry that my answer isn’t very helpful. I really want to know what other people think, actually. If you need to discuss more, please feel free to message me!!

[michi-mystuff]

As a loveless aro person myself, I wonder what is a suitable response to “I love you”

[michi-mystuff]

Aplatonic Visibility Day is on May 4th. Aplatonics are an important part of the aspec community! I wish all aplatonics a happy apl visibility day!

[michi-mystuff]

"being queer is about love" hmm actually being queer is about defying societal norms about gender and sexuality and does not depend on feeling love at all

[michi-mystuff]

I just want to say thank you for the tumblr aro community that gives me a space to share my feelings which I can’t open up to anyone in real life or any other social media

[michi-mystuff]

since valentines day is tomorrow (or already here for some people), i just wanted to give a shoutout to my fellow loveless aros. shoutout to those who are still alienated when people do that whole "valentines day is for all kinds of love you can still celebrate it yippee!!!" thing. i'm holding all your hands (edit: and if you're touch repulsed, i'm simply nodding at you in understanding and psychically beaming good vibes towards you)

[michi-mystuff]

“I want to go on a date” and “I don’t want to date anyone” are two statements that can coexist

[michi-mystuff]

My aromanticism: I don’t like anyone but I want to be liked by everyone

[michi-mystuff]

For anyone who's not aware of what's happening

[michi-mystuff]

"true love doesn't have to be romantic" okay well maybe true love doesn't have to exist at all

[michi-mystuff]

you don't have to make up for not feeling romantic love with platonic love. there's nothing to make up for. you can just be