n4tistired - Tumblr blog

[n4tistired]

So i'm an Artist

I pain't, i write poetry, i'm writing a book right now...

and a thing that my ED does is just give me ideas on how to do my art and i've never been satisfied with my art when i was in recovery

Mia is like a Muse at this point and I can't without her

[n4tistired]

How i feel when ED accs don't want minors to interract

[n4tistired]

I purged three times today 🎀🎀

[n4tistired]

My bsf and ana buddy left for rehab a few days ago and i actually miss her sm it's inhumaine :(

i wear a bracelet she gifted me everyday

[n4tistired]

The urge to just duct tape my legs under my jeans so it looks like I have a thigh gap.

[n4tistired]

me at school literally every day

[n4tistired]

You can't get skinny from eating

You can't get fat from ⭐️-ving

[n4tistired]

I hate the person I am now.

I have like no personality. My only hobbies/passions/obsessions are just ALL ed related (cooking, baking, counting cals, making meal plans, nutrition books/videos) and fitness (gym, cardio, walking).

And it's not like I can even talk ab any of this to ppl irl bc I don't want ppl to get suspicious of me. So I'm afraid I just come off as... Bland. I am such a shell of a person.

Like. Who would I be if I didn't have food/weight on my mind 24/7???? What could I use that energy for?? I think about the person I used to be. I used to read loads and watch movies/shows and be in fandoms and do sports and now I am just like waiting for the day I get skinny to live again.

I hate who I've become. Moreso, I hate who I haven't become. I'm not me. And I don't even have anything to show for it. I'm not skinny yet.

Anyways, that's why I've been so inactive recently. I am so exhausted of living like this stuck in such a loop. But I don't know how to get out.

[n4tistired]

i want to be so skinny I don't look like a pig when I eat

[n4tistired]

why does everything have a million calories in it 😃…

[n4tistired]

whether we want to believe it or not… skinny is a status symbol. and it’s one i will attain.

everyone will be sorry once im skinny, enviable… and i’ll be there to throw it right back in their faces. you’re not hot enough to be my friend.

[n4tistired]

trying the babyfood diet now xx

[n4tistired]

GUYS I'M 50 HOURS INTO A FAST AND MY MOM SAID I LOOK PALE!

it was literally one of my insecurities that i'm not pale enough

KEEPING THIS UP TO SEE HOW MUCH I ALSO LOOSE!

[n4tistired]

the process of losing weight makes me so sad and mean all the time

i just hope it's worth the results<3

[n4tistired]

people be asking how tf i can swallow 3 pills at once without water and mia and me will just stare at them like 💀💀

[n4tistired]

I want people to look at me and know I have a problem.

[n4tistired]

You know you’re mentally ill when the t h I n s p o is Tim Burton characters