oblivius-thoughts

[oblivius-thoughts]

What types of things do you try/passions do you have?!

I try to sing, and I am trying to get into reading comics but I'm too poor for that oops.

[oblivius-thoughts]

Well even if it's ahobby! Just keep having fun with it. You never know the places/people it'll take you! Hope all is well! And if you ever want to chat privately, i'd love to! Stay strong love!

Sure thing :) I try to emulate passions as much as I can because I never truly have one, y'know? I want to be passionate about these things so they bring me actual happiness

[oblivius-thoughts]

Keep taking photos and writign! Maybe you could try making your own comics, or joininga writing club/class and meeting others with similar interests. I find it helps a lot to focus on what I love and to meet new people. it can seem scary at first, but give it a try! And set goals for yourself! Remember you have so much potential to create beautiful things in this world and to truly make it a more wonderful place. Creativity is such a gift!

☺ thank you for the kind messages but honestly I think I'm no good at what I do to make it more than just a hobby

[oblivius-thoughts]

so much love recently, I wanna give back ;-;

[oblivius-thoughts]

I truly do believe that better days do come. I know it's hard to see but they will. May I ask what hobbies you have? Do you believe in God?!

i don't really have hobbies tbh because with hobbies, you need to be passionate about it, but i do like taking nature photos and recently got into reading comics.. i write sometimes too :D

[oblivius-thoughts]

Hi! I’m Sam and I’m from TSWatch, a suicide prevention blog on Tumblr. Someone concerned about you has just messaged us because they’ve noticed that you’ve been having some suicidal thoughts lately. We’re wondering if you’d consent to have your URL published on our blog so that our followers can send you some nice messages to cheer you up and even, if you’d like, to talk and listen to you? Do get back to us, and take care of yourself in the meantime!

awh thanks :) yeah, i don't mind i think i might do that too, actually, spread the love <3

[oblivius-thoughts]

Just wanted to reach out and offer you my support, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know life can get ttough, but I've also discovered how much it can change. Hardships don't last forever. We are stronger than we know and the pain we feel allows us to grow and learn more about ourselves and we will conquer these present obstacles. You are worth so much and are going to do great things, and meet new people, and explore new places. It will be worth it. Again, I'm here always <3

Thanks for the lovely message :) honestly, I have no idea what is going to happen to me, there’s just constantly so much stress and I have no idea how much more I can take. But I do find it strange how sometimes the smallest things can push someone over edge. So sometimes it’s not about good things happening. Finding new places and meeting new people.. Sometimes It’s minds that have been trained and find it only possible to see their lives as entropy disguised as a utopia. There may be good things but in there reality, all things crumble.

[oblivius-thoughts]

I love you. I love you so fucking much. Even when I’m panicking, even when I can't think a positive thought all day, I see you, and I suddenly have the biggest smile across my face. My anxieties dissipate like the night being evaporated by the sun. I put my happiness on you. I realise this. I put the burden of making me happy on the one I love. 

But thats not me... I never put such a burden on any persons shoulders. Why now? Why the fuck am I doing this now? No.. This isn't right. I can't do this.. I have to go.. I have to eliminate myself, that way, you don't have to suffer with such a burden.

[oblivius-thoughts]

I name my sins to God because I thought about it. I thought about digging my nails under your skin and ripping away at your pathetic flesh. Who do you think you are? telling me that I'm selfish?? you don't even deserve the blood that runs through your veins. Please, allow me to drain every last bit of it.

[oblivius-thoughts]

i can't tell if I'm pissed off i tried to kill myself again or the attempt failed

[oblivius-thoughts]

Please. Just fucking hit me. Smack me. Pull my hair out. Rip my skin off. Tear me limb from limb. Even then, when I'm in a blooded pulp.. That wouldn't satisfy you.. Would it? Because I simply wouldn't give you the satisfaction of caring about what you do to me.

[oblivius-thoughts]

I don't even have the motivation to kill myself.

[oblivius-thoughts]

So I found out how people can submit their thoughts without the restriction of sending in an ask or fan mail so can you guys help me out by sending in fan mail or asks with tags you want me to include in the submissions? Thanks!

[oblivius-thoughts]

I’m such a fucking weak piece of shit.

[oblivius-thoughts]

Yes! Don't Do it

I can't go in there. I don't trust myself with knives. I can't go in there. I don't trust myself with fire. Fire fire. Knives knives. So pretty. So. Inviting. I deserve it. What? No! I deserve to cut my flesh open right now. What are you saying?! Die, unnoticed on that cold floor. Yes, yes do it now! Knives! Knives! Knives! Knives! No! I can't wait to see my skin bubble and pop! No! Stop! I can't wait to watch myself fight to keep my arm over that flame! Please, I beg you! The pain in my face! The struggle it takes to resist the urge to snatch my hand away from that heated friend! St- Yes, yes! Do it now! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Knives Kni-

[oblivius-thoughts]

This is just writing to you. But you were put on this earth to love yourself, not hate yourself. Everything else is optional.

Thank you so much for this, i seriously need to remind myself this constantly :)

[oblivius-thoughts]

Smile.

You know, I say a lot of the time that one thing I'm truly grateful for is being able to smile/ laugh in any situation. No matter what state I'm in. Even if I wanted to die one second, I could be full belly laughing the next. And I loved that. But honestly? I've come to think that's not the case. I fucking hate how I can't just /be/ my true emotion. I fucking hate how if I really don't want to fucking talk to anyone, I always seem to end up talking and laughing with them like everything is fucking okay. I want to fucking kill myself but yeah! Haha knawlej!! Let's have a fucking hoo hah! I hate how I can't just be me without anyone thinking that's weird. But if I'm this retarded girl that is always so bubbly and full of life that everyone thinks I am, that's fine. I want to open up to someone without thinking that was the biggest mistake of my life. But at the same time I don't want to feel the fucking need to open up to someone when they start getting too close like "Oh no, they actually like me.. But what if I let them know this about me, then they'd surely start to think I'm the despicable asshole I perceive myself as and leave me!" Everyone always fucking leaves me. So why not destroy all those relationships that were inevitably going to end anyway!