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Energy Sucking Places on Earth

Setting a timer for 30 minuets I begin to get back into a writing rhythm. One that I’ve missed for what feels like a month. Environment plays a huge role in my creative output and overall wellbeing. Being around plants is the fastest way to get me to calm down. Having space to myself provides recuperation time that has been drained out by the passing energies with others. I am product of my environment, as we all are. It seems I’m just highly sensitive to it. Which brings me to a deeper understanding of how I can be better to myself. 

When I’m taking care of myself I shine and so do others around me. I tend to bring out the best in others when I am well rested, I’ve worked out, spent time writing, went on a walk, listened to good music, cooked a healthy meal and talked to someone I love and laughed. When I’m out partying, staying up late, sleeping in, eating junk, I treat everything around me like shit because I’m treating myself like doodoo. I don’t like it at all. 

This afternoon my little brother picked me up and we went to grab a coffee from the slow downtown of Spokane. Everywhere you look there are drug addicts, homeless people, diesel trucks spewing out black smoke, it’s a heavy vibe. Luckily the sun was shining and the weather was warm. I was reminded of what Kaypacha said in his weekly astrology report - until ALL of us are well, none of us are well. This reminder hit a nerve for me because I have been feeling this for the past three weeks. 

My body went from feeling incredibly healthy, basking in my own energy in Bali going to America where all the shit is gnarly. Going back to being a product of my environment I quickly relapsed into a realm I strive to avoid. I don’t like being fucked up anymore, I don’t like late nights turning into morning, feeling anxious and unsure of myself. It was a quick change of pace and it’s taken me less time than usual to bounce back but fuck man, its dark. When I go down, yuck and yikes. 

Traveling gets me out of my head, takes me far away from people I know, memories I’ve had and I get to create a completely new story wherever I go. I strive to build memories that when I go back to visit I feel safe and well. 

Whenever I come back to the states I notice that transition into sick, unwell, scattered, uncertain, not so great version of myself happens real quick. As much as I try and stick to a routine that I’ve built for myself while traveling, I get washed away by the overall cloud that surrounds the United States. 

Anywho - this morning I went through some photos from Morocco I took a few years ago. My heart pounded with the thought of jumping on a flight for 14 hours, sitting through long layovers, time changes, shuffling through customs, dehydrated as shit but not a care in the world because I’m going somewhere new. All the adventure and freedom erases all pain in my life and I am present in the moment not understanding a word anyone is saying. This is the life for me. I’m aware things are rapidly changing and travel may never be the same but I am hopeful that soon I will no longer live in the United States. Nothing about this land resonances for me any longer. 

What draws me back is the people I love. However even that is fleeting feeling. Eventually, usually faster than people are prepared for, I go. This land is your land, this land is my land, does not fill my soul with love, it depletes me and I must move forward to the places that rejuvenate me and help me be my best. 

In a recent mushroom trip that came about because I decided that my life restrictions were too tight and sticking to a healthy diet and workout routine was just too rigid…(I’m a fool sometimes) I opened up a portal for myself to get fucked up for weeks - not everyday but a lot. Had I known that a few mushroom teas would have led me to down this road I probably would have chosen to stick to my routine. But alas I am here, better, clearer, ready to move on. As I was beginning the giddy-giggle-trip up the mushroom ramp, I went pee, looked at myself in the mirror and matter of factly said to myself; 

“You are a reptilian and it makes sense why you have to live in warm climates” 

Then I turned and walked out the bathroom. No ifs, ands or buts, just a matter of fact, and it does make sense. I feel the very best with mostly sunshine, in the tropics, high humidity, big ass palm trees, silly geckos, big sky and whole lotta fresh food. As a product of my environment in these areas of the world, I flourish, I am healthy, well, surrounded mostly by the same kind of people, looking for the same out of life. 

When I look at the people I follow online for spiritual advice and wisdom most of them live in tropical climates. Why? Because we can be our best. We are supported by the Earth, a like minded community and sunshine that fills the skin with vitamin D. 

There’s been this bitter monster horse sized pill, years in the making, I’ve been trying to swallow. Here’s what’s inside; Old relationships that prove to be toxic, old stories that have run their course and have long time fizzled out yet still are held on by this energetic cord that is linked to the what some might like to imagine as an umbilical cord. Linked to family members, childhood friends, old lovers, whatever. So there’s all these stories of who you should be in their eyes, how you should show up in their lives and the role they want you to continue to play in their life. But whats happening in real life is that you’ve long outgrown that role in their lives, they have outgrown the role they played in yours and you are left with a few crumbs in a once freshly puffed bag of chips. The best chips have been eaten so just throw the bag out. But how do you do that when these chip people are in your family or friends that haven’t actually done anything wrong for you to be like…”Uh, I don’t resonate with you anymore…” It’s a lot to process, most people never do it. It’s easier to just put up with people, go through the motions, stick to your old self because people are used to that version of you and don’t want to evolve to understand who you really are now, in present time. It’s bizarre. 

Let me also add to this son of a bitch pill that this is what has happened with me and the United States of America. Going back to my hometown triggers me, I can only be in LA for a few weeks, and there’s really nowhere on this piece of land that calls to me. The stories have played out, my karma has been worked through and I can move on. I don’t have to live here for the rest of my life and I won’t. But that also comes with the letting go of being close to family and friends. And what if one day I start a family, is it selfish to not be close to family? Or is it selfish to raise a child somewhere that doesn’t provide what you need as a parent? 

The pill is huge, I’m telling you - I take a big drink of water everyday to help it go down but it’s still lodged somewhere in my esophagus. I am positive it will be swallowed fully in the time it’s digestible. If people love me enough they will understand that for my wellbeing and creative output it is important for me to live somewhere far, far away from everything I’ve ever known. Which, I think they understand somewhat. 

There is an undeniable trust I feel in knowing that I move forward rapidly in the direction of my growth wherever I am called to live for a period of time. Though I may not know the direct location of my next move I know that I am always growing and evolving when I choose to get out of my comfort zone. I don’t know if I will ever have a forever home and that is okay as long as I am in an environment that supports my truth, that’s all I can ask for. 

This year I’ve gone from Kauai to LA to Indonesia to LA to Bellingham Washington to Spokane Washington - All within 5 months. I’ve gotten used to moving every single month because my heart knows what it’s doing. I am here now to spend time with my brother and my long time friend Jacob. My plan is to save up a good chunk of money and move to Indonesia as long as I can legally stay there for. And I choose this not to be a dick to the people I love but for my wellbeing and ultimately to not be a dick to myself. 

Becoming aware of who you are, how you act around certain people, what triggers you, yada yada is highly important in advancing as a human. Understanding energy, seeing patterns, having the intelligence to get the fuck out when it feels off and pursing what feels in alignment is ultimately what I’m doing and what I always encourage others to try. I am grateful that no matter where I am, I am always taken care of. I feel very secure that this is always the case. 

One day if I do have a house I would love to host travelers like myself. I want to thank all of you that have been a part of this journey with me. I appreciate your big hearts and loving arms and real hospitality. 

To end this long rant I’d also like to close with I am not bashing on those who choose to live in the United States. I think it’s important to realize the energy that clouds around certain areas of this planet and choose those places that fill you up with joy to spend time in. If that place is a park in your hometown - beautiful, if it’s a few states away - groovy, if you don’t vibe with the States and you choose to move to another country - I get you. The moral of this story is to be aware of your environment. If you are suffering in your current place ask yourself what you can do to change it, make it better or find a way to get out. You deserve to feel safe, happy and healthy in this life. That is all - see y’all on the other side of the world. 

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dreamy summer setup//photo buy @lushpalm

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Ulun Danu Beratan Temple, Bali, Indonesia by bady qb

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Bali, Indonesia 🇮🇩 🌴

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Bali summers

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