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Ive had this saved in my phone since April

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trying not to be awkward when making friends

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The struggle is real

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video game where you play a standard horror movie serial killer, but it's all done in a very cutesy domestic aesthetic. you get to build your little saw traps and go to the mask store and try on little masks and explore the local village while stalking your potential victims. ends in a fun hide n seek type game in the setting of your choice (mystery mansion, cabin in the woods etc) where you hunt and slaughter your victims in a bloodbath

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When life finally calms down and you feel unsettled…

That’s not failure.

It’s your body learning what safe feels like.

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I know the movie is 32 years old but I feel like Aunt Debbie (Addams Family Values 1993) is one of the few people whose quality of life could have really benefitted from a few therapy sessions with Dr. Hannibal Lecter

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DP x DC: Mission Impossible

One day at family dinner Dick starts a rant about a pretty girl. His type - flaming red hair, tall, smart. It's always that type. The Bats are all stalkers, not just Tim. They may tease and poke fun at the boy who confronted Batman about his ID, but Oracle could tell them everything down to the average amount of time they spent brushing their teeth. And they all knew it. Professionalism and politeness have never been a hangup (or respect given) of any of them. Thus, Dick made an appointment with his new therapist Jasmine Fenton to spend time with her.

... Which utterly backfired on him of course. She completely wrecked his shit and he admits so with a dreamy sigh that makes every other Bat at the table physically cringe. Every single bit of the flirting went swoosh right past her, and she used it to rip open his issues with Kori and Babs like they were held together by Christmas wrapping paper instead of decades of trauma and violence.

After dinner Dick cheerfully slings an arm around Jason, the world blurs, and the next thing his siblings know they've been kidnapped and are waking up in a therapy office, stumbling through the door in a haze as Dick's words of blackmail and manipulation still rang in their ears.

You see, Jasmine didn't believe him about how bad his siblings were themselves. She believed he was dramatizing. Everyone always thought their own perspective was the correct one. Especially those used to acting purely on their own ideas of morality and leveraging authority to support said morals. She knew better than to say she thought he was speaking on bias out loud of course - but Dick was more than well trained in reading micro-expressions, and he knew she didn't believe him.

Dick presents them to her like a cat bringing a live lizard into the kitchen. It's after work hours, she was just about to leave, and now Cass is somehow on top of the fan blades on the ceiling twirling around, Damian is trying to distract her with mutual knife appreciation and it isn't working, Tim is disappearing into a void of the shadows creeping towards the door frame, Stephanie is raiding her secret snack stash and shoving it all in her pockets, and Jason is in a headlock as he and Dick argued.

Then Danny walked in. Sees all this. And they see him.

Jazz, realizing that she would absolutely not be able to continue with Dick as a client after this, turned to him with a smile. "You know how I'm not supposed to talk about clients."

"Ye."

"Baby brother, I found a family worse than ours. This is one of the most hilarious things that's ever happened to me. Call Dan and Ellie. While we wait for them to get here we're all going for late night tacos. Immediately. And then, we're gonna go steal the declaration of independence."

"Cool." Danny replies casually.

It is at this moment Dick realizes he fucked up. "Wait, you're serious."

Yup."

"We're stealing the declaration?"

"YUP."

"... Jazz, I'm in love with you." Dick states melodramatically with a hand over his heart.

"No, you're not. You're in love with Barbara but can't handle your own fantasies of perfection not matching up with a secure relationship with her. You view your parents with crowds cheering for their success as an ideal to live up to, and that's what you have with Kori, while a quiet domestic life with Barbara makes you believe you're letting them down and feels like a failure to their legacy to you."

Tim whispers, "Holy shit she killed him."

Physically incapable of not making death jokes Danny instantly turns and replies, "Not yet, just wait until she has more than ten tacos and a margarita in her."

"This is going to be one of the best days of my life." Tim tells him.

Both of them acquire popcorn and are watching Dick sobbing in the middle of a Chilis like it's a soap opera within half an hour. Tim, as always, is designated camera man that everyone makes eye contact with like they're on The Office while Jazz leads the pack in going feral.

And then everyone has to pretend they are completely average civilians as they literally break into and out of the National Archive Museum in Washington D.C. Not a single one of them knows what the social abilities of average civilians are supposed to be like when breaking into places.

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This is legitimately one of my fav quotes from him

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Damian, presenting a shiny object: I believe this should cover it, father.

Bruce: Cover what?

Damian: A hug. I wish to have one. I have brought payment. I understand that Grayson does not require this transaction for hugs, but as the head of the household, I assume yours come with fees?

Bruce: ... I am going to murder your grandfather.

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I think people get the “Bruce dancing like a stripper in the Iceberg Lounge” situation all wrong. The batkids won’t die of embarrassment because that’s their dad. They’ll die of frustration because they will never, ever be able to make Bruce feel embarrassed about it.

Do you really think the man who would strip and bust it down for the secret identity has the capacity to feel shame? Exactly.

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Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

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Round body and little legs not made for traversing long distances

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The best moments

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How I would also react

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seeing people say shit like “i wish i as born gay” or “i wish i was born a different gender” makes me s o sad bc ill bet you dimes to dollars that person is on the lgbt spectrum but because of ingrained phobias and the way media portrays people like us, it feels like an insurmountable implausibility, when its really not. if you wish you were gay, or trans, or whatever, then like, maybe you should give the introspection a chance. compulsive heteronormativity is real and it can truly make you believe youre cis and straight and that you never need to think more into it than that.