prisonixfairytale

[prisonixfairytale]

thank god i can be a loser online. irl i'm just a pretty girl with a nice rack 💔

[prisonixfairytale]

GUYS AND I JUST REMEMBERED GOVBALL IS COMING UP WHERES THE SHORTEST SKIRT I OWN OH MY GOD

i would wish misfortune upon the girl he was talking to who looks like me but like....its really not even worth the effort :( like its summer, i'm 18, and its my first time single for the summer in like 4 years. like he can have her if he wants, i dont care and like (bc guys. he's kinda chopped. like personality is the biggest thing i swear bc after we broke up my friends sighed a sigh of relief for my future children. (i still want him) ) its not like my phone is dry rn 💀

[prisonixfairytale]

i would wish misfortune upon the girl he was talking to who looks like me but like....its really not even worth the effort :( like its summer, i'm 18, and its my first time single for the summer in like 4 years. like he can have her if he wants, i dont care and like (bc guys. he's kinda chopped. like personality is the biggest thing i swear bc after we broke up my friends sighed a sigh of relief for my future children. (i still want him) ) its not like my phone is dry rn 💀

[prisonixfairytale]

the sunrises remind me of him, i think of those times we stayed up too late together and he had to sneak back off before anyone else woke up. the sunsets also remind me of him, no memories specifically come to mind but the hundreds of times we walked along the city together as the sun set and i watched how the light shining on his face changed but the light that came from him hardly dimmed comes to mind. :p

[prisonixfairytale]

theres a thread on my pillow case that i was playing with while he was on the phone breaking up with me. i focused on the thread so i wouldnt cry more than i already was, i find myself sleeping better with that pillow, but i also feel nauseous when i remember how hard i was focusing on that loose thread.

[prisonixfairytale]

i told him i was studying 4 my ap bio exam which is now today and this is what he said

[prisonixfairytale]

hi guys, do you think if he and I both lost all our memories and we had no way to remember anything, that we'd fall in love all over again?

[prisonixfairytale]

02-14-25

I'm sitting on the train on my way to hang out with some friends. I dont care for them, I want to be with you. You told me you loved me, but I don't know if you meant it. I think you only said it because you could tell I needed it. I feel so anxious all the time, like I need you here.

My brain wont shut up. I feel like anything I ever do will never be good enough and nothing is even worth it, what do I do? I know it's not really a logical way of thinking but its what my mind says.

My chest feels as if my pulmonary arteries are unraveling to wrap around my lungs and making it harder to breath, only to reach up through my trachea and cut off my larynx and I can't breathe anymore. My voice feels so weak, like a beaten down car that's so tired of repeating itself knowing it's of no use as the end of it draws nearer.

[prisonixfairytale]

ok GUYS i drunk texted him over the weekend and i told him i didnt like her and that she looks like me and he agreed that she looked a lot like me. idk how to feel abt this, but it doesnt sit right w me.

oh my goodness

i know that this like messes up the whole like timeline date post thing i wanted to have going on but guys. He's talking to a new girl, she looks eerily similar to me. I didnt even notice the resemblance until i was telling my friends and they all separately pointed it out. Imagine you break up with your girlfriend of three years and like two months after you start talking to a girl who looks very similar to her. Thats crazy.

[prisonixfairytale]

02-12-25

I don't get it, I don't get it. I want to be your friend. I can't bare the thought of losing you, not to say I need you but without you I feel something missing.

You keep telling me to chill out, I can't. I wish I knew why my mind worked the way it does but I have no idea. Imagining my future with you while treating you like shit. Who do I think I am?

I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. I like to think maybe when we're both grown adults we can try again. Maybe if we're more stable we could manage, I could communicate and treat you how you deserve and we could be together. It feels weird, I don't really cry about it anymore I just feel sort of not there.

I get upset with others really quickly and I get anxious waiting for a text back. Biting my nails back down to the skin staring at my phone waiting for your notification. I try to not be on your dick but I feel so nauseous for when the days come where we talk less and less, eventually leaving each others lives forever. I know I'll be over it by then but I don't want to be over it.

I dont think I'll ever find someone who makes me feel loved like you do and I keep having that thought and it's scary. I don't deserve it but I'd really like to have it. It is at times like these where I just wish you were here and I need to be taken care of and held close, then you could whisper in my ear how you love me and how it'll be okay.

Do you still love me? I shouldn't ask that, I've been dying to hear it. You're really killing me here. There is just something so comforting about the way you say it. Maybe it's just you. There is a comfort in nearly every part of you. Your voice, your touch, your love. Even your anger despite how i freeze up. There is a familiarity. You wouldnt get angry if you didnt love me so that means its real right?

[prisonixfairytale]

hey guys ok so he texted me and told me that its not gonna work out between them i think i have a chance. Also, why is he telling me like what? im so nonchalant towards him i swear, like i dont want him at all.

oh my goodness

i know that this like messes up the whole like timeline date post thing i wanted to have going on but guys. He's talking to a new girl, she looks eerily similar to me. I didnt even notice the resemblance until i was telling my friends and they all separately pointed it out. Imagine you break up with your girlfriend of three years and like two months after you start talking to a girl who looks very similar to her. Thats crazy.

[prisonixfairytale]

oh my goodness

i know that this like messes up the whole like timeline date post thing i wanted to have going on but guys. He's talking to a new girl, she looks eerily similar to me. I didnt even notice the resemblance until i was telling my friends and they all separately pointed it out. Imagine you break up with your girlfriend of three years and like two months after you start talking to a girl who looks very similar to her. Thats crazy.

[prisonixfairytale]

current fav songs !!

bc i j remembered this is my tumblr im gonna share the things i like and not just my diary entries while i go through this breakup :p

No One Noticed - The Marías

Sienna - The Marías

Back To Me - The Marías

Prisonic Fairytale - Akira Yamaoka

Love Psalm - Akira Yamaoka

Cold - sign crushes motorist

Minerva - Deftones

Genesis - Deftones

Lost - Miso

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarettes After Sex

Liminal - Strayline.

Blue Light - Mazzy Star

back desk - chauncy

Your face - Wisp

Everything Reminds Me Of You - Take Care

Black Star - Radiohead

Let Down - Radiohead

How To Disappear Completely - Radiohead

I Know - Fiona Apple

falling in reverse - dreamcorp.

Memory limitations in artificial intelligence - Infinity Frequencies

the rodents' discussions - gavin m

Two-Way Mirror - Loathe

Come Over and Love Me - Love Spells

its j a few songs but trust i will post more when i feel like it these were just off the top of my head

[prisonixfairytale]

2-10-25

I'm so confused. Why do you do this? I'm gonna tweak out, don't tell me you love me. I can't. I'm really confused, you don't make sense but I like how it feels. Better some of you than none of you I guess.

I don't know, it's kind of nice I can tell you I love you and stay on the phone with you for hours but I can also talk to other people and talk about things I couldn't when we were dating I don't know. I can admit I was wrong.

I could get with others but the thought of you being with someone else makes me sick to my core. I can't do this. Double standards maybe. But you're mine, you have been for years. And I'm still yours, regardless of if i talk to others in that way. I'm just bored I think. I'm actually losing it so bad over this.

It's so fucking mean. I hate when you call me man so so so much. I'm not just a man, I'm not just a bro, I'm yours. I'm your girl, have been for years like I said. I do appreciate you calling me baby. That made me very happy to hear. and god, I love how your voice sounds.

[prisonixfairytale]

welcome in ^.^

welcome to my corner of the internet :)

this blog is mostly just for me to have somewhere to yap and post whatever i want :p

about me !!

i go by Cassie online

'07 baby

she/her

intp i think

eng/pt

engineering student

i'm not very active online but feel free to message me whenever ! i'm always down to yap :D

top 5 favorites !

games

resident evil

silent hill

league of legends

dead by daylight

bayonetta

movies / shows

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

american psycho

scream

heathers

jennifer's body

artists

mitski

deftones

radiohead

kendrick lamar

earl sweatshirt

shows

arcane

neon genesis evangelion

cyberpunk: edgerunners

breaking bad

you

books

the stranger - Albert Camus

the handmaid's tale - Margaret Atwood

the picture of dorian gray - Oscar Wilde

crime and punishment - Fyodor Dostoevsky

a certain hunger - Chelsea G Summers

where to find me !

anywhere

just message me :)

enjoy your stay

[prisonixfairytale]

02-08-25

I'll be better. I promise. I'll listen and think about how it makes you feel and I wont brush you off. I'm sorry. I'll learn how to communicate for you to stay. It just feels like there is this pit in my stomach. You cant just expect me to let go like that, I need you.

I can hardly sleep without my stuffed animal wearing your shirt and cologne. An attempt at replicating your gentle, caring grasp on me, contrasting the tight hold you have on my heart. Me as a person, it has always been me and you. You didn't let me grow on my own and I don't know who I am without you. I can't do this. Who will hold me close so tenderly and kiss me with everything?

It won't be the same, nothing replicates the past and the lingering sentiments keep the present feeling inferior. How easy must it be to listen to me cry and beg, my voice meek and tight with the sobs desperate to escape, and leave? For me to tell you I love you one more time just for you to reply with a similar statement. I say my words don't match my actions, I guess I know better how it feels now.

As i write out all my thoughts, I'm on delivered for an iMessage game. So desperate to talk to you I settle for bits of banter in between rounds. You're right, I need more self respect. I was desperate for you to stay a bit longer.

I wanted to keep that hope alive, that all those things you said about our future would come to fruition. Maybe that you would change your mind. I think if there was less distance, it would've been different. You could've held out a bit, we all have our ups and downs. Am I that bad of a girlfriend that you couldn't hold out a bit? I'm sorry, really.

I'm sorry you had to put up with me and my inability to express my emotions, my aversion to sexual contact. You made it seem like it was a you thing, I can hardly look in the mirror these days. I'm disgusted with myself, but you made me feel pretty. I'm really sorry you wasted your time on me.