reverii-library

[reverii-library]

▸ DATING REGULUS BLACK HEADCANNONS

› content warning ━ ꒰ mentions of regulus's family life ; nothing much! ꒱

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It is important to be said first and foremost that dating Regulus Black isn't the easiest task in all of the Wizarding World. Any relationship with him would have complications, and being his partner is no exception.

A lot of your relationship with him is one step forward and two steps back. No matter how much he likes you, for him, it's very difficult to initially come out of his shell. He's had his walls built up for so long and fortified over the years, he forgets that he can let anyone in.

This being said, with enough patience on your part, he will open up.

Regulus has a very large capacity for love. He might have trouble showing it sometimes, but when he cares about someone, he really cares. And given that you so happen to be his someone... it only makes him love you more.

You'll either have to be comfortable with long silences or be talkative enough to fill them, because he's quiet really often – though this isn't to say he isn't talkative in his own right. It simply comes and goes.

His love language tends to lean towards acts of service and gifts. He can have trouble expressing how he feels about you, so he tells you in different ways. He holds you hair behind your head if your eating if it's too long or in the way. He buys you that necklace you've been eyeing. He stays up late to talk to you after leaving Astronomy class. Really, there isn't a whole lot that he wouldn't do for you.

He is sort of a literature snob, so keep in mind you'll have to keep up with a lot to understand what he references (and many pieces he reads are so unbelievably obscure that no one else in Hogwarts has even heard of them).

This does come with its own perks, though, because he writes you only the best bits of poetry and leaves perfectly formatted annotations in your books when you aren't looking.

The likelihood of him letting you meet his parents is very low, whether you're pureblooded or not. He most likely just won't want to divulge that portion of his life to you, and will therefore hold off on inviting you to his home for any reason. He will, however, be open to meeting your own parents.

On dates he will be nothing less than a true gentleman, whether more fancy or casual. Sometimes they're no more refined than late study dates in the library, but all the same, he will ensure you make it back to your room in one piece and may go so far as to carry you part of the way if you are ever so sleepy.

He isn't one for parties, but if you enjoy them, he'll reluctantly attend. He's always dressed nicely, and while Hogwarts parties aren't exactly the place to wear a suit and tie, he simply looks too good for you to even tease him about it.

When he's jealous he doesn't really try to show it, but he'll probably get more quiet and serious, analyzing you and the other person. He'd most likely ask you about it later rather subtly, trying to gauge your reaction.

He's a slow, gentle kisser and often holds the front of your neck, just barely applying any pressure as he wouldn't want to hurt you.

Overall, he's a wonderful boyfriend. Though at times cold or closed off, he makes up for it in more ways than one.

[reverii-library]

▸ PEOPLE HELP THE PEOPLE ⋮ regulus black.

› pairing ━ ꒰ regulus black x reader ꒱

› in which ━ ꒰ regulus had been avoiding you and you come to discover why. ꒱

› content warning ━ ꒰ allusions to bad family life ; hurt / comfort ; angst ; talk of voldemort and some things that entail ; mention of cigarette usage. ꒱

› word count ━ ꒰ 1 . 1k ꒱

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IT WAS COLD. Much too cold to be outside. Rain drenched everything in sight, leaving the castle and its grounds damp and dull. The trees and the grass did not stand tall nor mighty as they usually did, but shrunk against one another, waiting for the grey clouds to clear, fearing they never would.

It was for this very reason that all the students remained inside, whether chatting in their common rooms or getting comfortable in their dorms. Cozy, dry, warm. All but one particular boy.

A certain rebel by the name of Regulus Black sat just on the edge of a balcony, uncaring that the wind may suddenly change course or that the rain would grow ever stronger. The world to him seemed dark and grim, and in an effort to assuage this thinking he brought with him a single cigarette, the likes of which had nearly lived out its course. He might have before cared that he'd surely return sick given the weather, but to him the cold was a comfort, the rain a friend.

"You've been avoiding me."

The words that fell from your lips were sudden, unbidden, and Regulus startled, had to grip the balcony's railing so as to steady himself and avoid a rather untimely death. It was clear that he hadn't expected another to appear.

When he saw that is was you, a frown curved his lips, and he turned, all in a quite dismissive manner. You might have been less angry had he at least acknowledged you, but he must have thought it too difficult, or perhaps too much of an inconvenience, for he didn't bother.

"I've been trying to talk to you all week, you know that? I've spoken to Evan, Barty, the whole lot. They don't say a word about you."

Silence. Though you expected as much. When Regulus didn't want to converse, he simply didn't. But you wouldn't allow it. Not now.

"Regulus, answer me."

"What do you wish for me to say?"

"I don't know. Something. Anything."

A sigh fell past his lips, and you weren't quite sure whether you wanted to roll your eyes or cry upon catching sight of the solemn expression on his face.

"Please, Reg. I just want to know if something's wrong. You know you can tell me anything," you then said, softening your voice upon the realization that you had no idea what was troubling him so, and that adding to his troubles would do neither you nor him any good.

"Well, that's just it! I can't tell you! I can't tell you anything, for you'd go blabbering to those idiots that you call your friends about it ━ "

"I'd never tell the Marauders if ━ "

"And then everything will be even worse than it already is ━ "

"Reg ━ "

"and you and them would be in more danger than you already are ━ "

"Regulus ━ "

"and I just ━ I can't ━ "

"Regulus!"

He grew silent, and you continued.

"You can't truly believe that I tell them anything? I adore my friends, but there are things that you tell me that I know to keep between just the both of us, and only veritaserum could get them out of me, and even then I'd sow my mouth shut just so they wouldn't know. So, please, tell me. I will not say a word of it."

A shaky breath, a hesitation. Regulus stared at you, his expression earnest. "I got it."

You felt your entire world stop. "You got it?"

"The mark. I got the mark."

An involuntary gasp fell past your lips, and you looked at Regulus, observed his countenance which now made so much sense. You'd feared that perhaps you'd done something wrong, that perhaps he'd gone in yet another one of his fits where he decided that you were much too good for him (though this fit would have been much more dire than the last), but your fears now appeared insignificant when compared to the bitter truth.

"Did they force you?"

"No, that is the worst of it ━ I simply let it happen. I didn't say a word. When it was over, my mother even said she was proud of me, and I was awful enough to smile at it."

"But you're much too young!"

"The dark lord needs as many as he can on his side, now more than ever. When I am finished at Hogwarts, I will be working for him exclusively."

"I ━ Reg, I'm so sorry," you whispered, taking the boy in your arms into a warm embrace, starkly contrasting with the freezing nature of the rain.

A pause, and then, finally:

"You're not angry with me?"

You could never be mad at him. Not truly. Not when he stared at you the way he did, his eyes tender, his voice as delicate as it was now. You had been mad, yes, but seeing him now seemed to ease any sort of anger that you had collected throughout the week of his absence, and now all that was left was a heaping mound of sympathy. How you wished you had his stubbornness, but alas, forgiveness was a virtue that few were willing to give.

"Look, I ━ I know things have been difficult for you as of late, especially with Sirius gone. I won't pretend to know what you're going through, and I won't pretend that it is either easy or simple. From what you've told me of your family and your home ━ well, I don't believe I can judge you when I am unsure if I'd myself have the willpower to simply put up with your parents."

"Truly?"

"I would never lie to you."

The hug tightened, Regulus planting his head on your shoulder and drawing you impossibly nearer. "I cannot even begin to explain what that means to me."

"You needn't. But all that I ask is that you try to fight it ━ this ━ to the best of your capabilities. I know it is neither easy nor simple, but I ━ Regulus, I can't bear the thought of losing you to Voldemort. Please promise me."

"I'll fight, Y/n. I swear it upon my life. I will fight until I can no longer breathe. I promise."

"Until the end?"

"So long as you're by my side, until the very end."

[reverii-library]

hihi how are you!! hope ur doing great🫶. i was hoping if you could write about sirius and reader being in a relationship for quite some time now and reader smokes but no one knows and one day he catches them and takes the cigarette out of their mouth and says something like pretty people dont smoke. yk something like that just overall fluffy and cute. if u cant that’s totally okay! have an amazing day/night🫶

━━ ⭑ pairing : sirius black x fem!reader.

━━ ⭑ cw + notes : usage of cigarettes and drugs, fluff and some bickering, teensy tiny bit of angst if you squint. (thank you for the request lovely! i am doing wonderfully at the moment <3)

━━ ⭑ sum : sirius finds you smoking a cigarette.

THE SMOKE BLEW in and out of your chest effortlessly. You watched with what could only be described as envy as the grey vapor mingled in the air before inevitably disappearing, leaving the air tainted with the lingering smell. You oftentimes wondered where the smoke went once it was gone ━ to some land of complete and utter freedom, perhaps.

It was an awful vice that you'd picked up in your earlier years at hogwarts ━ smoking ━ and one that you had quit some time ago only to pick it back up quite recently, for it was the season of N.E.W.T.S, and your stress and anxiety levels were at an all time high.

So, there you stood rather abashedly, in the most secluded area of the hallway that you could find, enjoying a cigarette. You felt guilty, almost, knowing how hard you'd worked in the past to put an end to the habit only to pick it up once again a few years later. But, alas, grades were something you valued greatly, even if it cost you your sanity and health, and you needed an efficient way to unwind.

Taking yet another drag, you held your breath for a moment, appreciating the way the smoke felt in your lungs. You then closed your eyes as you exhaled, savoring the flavor of the fumes as they passed along your tongue and throat.

Bringing the cigarette to your lips once more, you were surprised to find that it was no longer between your fingertips, but, opening your eyes to determine where it had gone, in the hands of none other than Sirius Black, your dearly beloved boyfriend for some years now.

"Sirius," you breathed, your eyes wide. His expression was what could only be described as a mix between disappointment and curiosity, and already you wanted to sink into yourself both from the embarrassment and the shame.

"Y/n," he replied, and your name came out almost as a scold. He looked from the cigarette to you expectantly.

"Um, that ━ that's just a one-off thing. I just... I needed to unwind, you know? But can you just, uh, d'you mind giving it back?"

Sirius rose a brow, before slowly shaking his head. "Pretty people don't smoke."

"Sirius," you groaned as he crossed his arms.

You moved to take the cigarette from his hand, in vain. Sirius took a step back, holding the smoke high in the air, just above your reach. It was almost a taunt, you'd think, for the cigar would at times barely graze your fingers before he pulled it further away.

"Shit, Sirius, just one more drag. Then I'm done. Please!"

"No. No more."

You then watched helplessly as he threw it on the ground and crushed the cigar under his heel, a triumphant grin on his face that contrasted with your pout.

"It was just one. A one time thing."

"Bullshit. How often you been using these things?."

Pursing your lips, you broke eye contact and stared at the floor silently.

"Y/n."

"I quit a few years ago."

"And now?"

"Only been doing it since exams began."

"That shit'll kill you, sweetheart."

"Who are you, my dad?"

You immediately regretted your choice of words when you saw Sirius's eyebrows raise and a wicked smile curve his lips.

"Well, I am your ━ "

"Don't finish that sentence."

Sirius's grin then grew (if that was even possible), but he didn't go on.

"Whatever you say, darling, whatever you say. Now, let's get you back to class."

"Since when have you ever cared about attendance?"

"Since now," Sirius replied, taking your hand in his and essentially dragging you to your potions class. "You're usually so good with that sort of thing. I thought you might have been hurt or something before I found you."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Well you're not, right? So it's fine. Just have to make sure you don't go sneaking off again, is all. I got worried when I found you with the smoke. I don't want you to feel like you have to hide things from me, you got it?"

"I know, I know. I just... I didn't want you to see me differently, is all."

"Hey, look at me." Sirius stopped in his tracks, taking your chin between his fingers so that you could see his face clearly. "None of that will make me see you differently, okay? I just want you to be safe. So don't worry about any of that."

"Yeah, okay. Thanks, Siri." A pause. "Wait ━ how did you even find me?"

"I got bored when you were gone for a while. Figured I'd walk the halls 'til the end of potions or until I found you."

"Aww, you missed me that much?" You mocked.

"'Course I did. Can't stand Slughorn without you," said Sirius, pulling you closer so that he could kiss the crown of your head gingerly. "And I can't be having my best girl skipping class just so that she can go smoke some cigarette without me."

"Without you? So you're saying if I do it with you, you'd be fine with it?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself too quickly. M'still mad at you for hiding this from me."

"But maybe? When you're not anymore?"

A small chuckle breezed past Sirius's lips. "Maybe, angel. Just maybe."

[reverii-library]

Hello!! can i request reader trying to out eyeliner on and struggling badly and then there is Sirius leaning against the door frame looking her struggle and then goes “Give it to me I’ll help” and he goes to grab her jaw squeezing her cheeks and he makes fun how cute she looks before he helps her just overalls cute!! thanks💘💓💞

━━ ⭑ pairing : sirius black x fem!reader.

━━ ⭑ cw : kissing, possible rockstar!sirius (that's how i imagined him), slight artist!reader.

━━ ⭑ sum : sirius helps you put on your eyeliner.

IT WAS WHAT you thought was going to be an enjoyable evening. You sat in the quiet confines of your room, and, although you anticipated the process of refining your looks to be straightforward, it now seemed to be anything but.

You'd always found the process of getting dressed and putting on makeup to be rather agreeable. You found pleasure in transforming your features into whatever you so desired ━ found it fun, even. But this is where the trouble began.

Though choosing the proper outfit was relatively effortless (you were at times indecisive, but always found something that seemed to work), you often had trouble with the more meticulous art of makeup. It just so happened that, most days, your fingers were rather shaky when attempting to put on any sort of cosmetics, whether it me lipstick, mascara, or the like. It didn't make very much sense ━ you did just fine on paper. In fact, you were something of a talented artist.

The same could not be said now, however.

You sat before the mirror, a crease in your brow that persisted despite your attempts to relax your face. It felt as if you'd been sat for days now, tracing carefully only to then wipe off the eyeliner you'd been attempting to put on.

You'd thought it would be simple enough. You'd likened the eyeliner brush to something of a marker, and figured that, given your aptitude with such, the application of the eyeliner would be effortless.

It turns out, however, you couldn't be further from the truth.

Sirius stood, leaning against the doorway as he observed your fruitless attempts to perfect your eyeliner. He'd been drawn to your room by your numerous groans, worried for you, but could now only smile amusedly as he discovered the reasoning behind your annoyance.

"Here, give it to me. I'll help you."

"Sirius!" You gasped, eyes wide as you hadn't noticed his presence. "I didn't see you there."

You then turned back to look in the mirror, and Sirius couldn't help but laugh as your look of surprise quickly morphed into one of anger upon realizing that you'd ruined your eyeliner one again.

"Damnit. I almost had it."

Shaking his head (as you most certainly did not have it), he walked towards you, talking the eyeliner from your hands before you could stop him.

"Sirius, what ━ "

"Shhh, stay still."

Letting out a sigh, you seceded to his will, figuring that it would do more harm than good if you tried to disobey him.

Sirius moved to cup your jaw, and you let out a small hum at the familiar feeling against your skin. Sirius then grabbed your cheeks and pushed then together, causing your mouth to make the shape of a small 'o', and tilted your head upwards so that he had a better view of your face. Though you tried to wriggle out of his grasp, his grip remained firm.

"Careful, darling. Don't want you messing me up too, do we?"

He then began his work.

He pressed the tip of the brush against the corner of your eye meticulously, and his eyes shone with a certain determination that you were sure you'd never seen him exude before. And, you had to admit, you were rather impressed ━ and scared, that is. Knowing Sirius, he always had some tricks up his sleeve that he pulled out in the most unpredictable of moments.

He then placed the eyeliner against your other eye, and in moments, he was finished.

"There. All dolled up, now."

You quickly turned to observe yourself in the mirror, and let out a small gasp upon seeing what a good job he'd done.

"Wow, Siri, this is... this is great, actually."

At the comment, the boy in question let out a small chuckle as he turned to watch your expression in the mirror.

"Well, I am me, Y/n. Your real mistake was doubting me at all."

"Oh, shut up."

"I'm just being honest."

You shook your head, trying hard to fight back a smile. "How'd you even learn to do this sort of thing, anyway?"

"I used to buy it to piss off my parents. They hated that I wore these sorts of things. Made my day to see them so angry."

Of course. It was simply such a Sirius thing to do ━ wear it just to make his family mad. Not that you could blame him. They were never the friendliest lot.

"You know, you really should wear eyeliner more often. Looks good on you."

You rose a brow.

"Really?"

"Really."

"And you're not just saying that because you want to put it on me the next time?"

Sirius grinned. "I never said that. Just said it looks good on you."

"You're the worst."

"Hey, who's the one who couldn't put on their eyeliner for an hour? You know, I didn't get much of a thank you."

Rolling your eyes, you mumbled a small 'thank you' under your breath.

"Sorry, love? Could you speak up? I couldn't quite year you."

You stared at him, and if looks could kill, he'd be six feet under.

"Thank you."

Sirius tilted his head to the side. "Now, that won't suffice, now will it?"

"Just tell me what you want," you whined.

"A kiss," he declared, tapping his lips. "Right here."

It took yet another roll of your eyes before you leaned in and your lips met his in a chaste kiss. You then made an attempt to pull away, but Sirius seemed to be having none of it as he pulled you in for yet another, this time tangling his fingers in your hair and pressing himself firmly against you.

His tongue coaxed your lips open, and in moments it was exploring the insides of your mouth as he leaned against your chair, positioning himself so that he was above you. Though you wanted to argue that he'd ruin the work he'd so recently done, you quickly realized that there was no stopping him, and so, with the fluttering shut of your eyes, you allowed him to do as he willed.

"There," he said once he'd pulled away. "A proper snog. Not just a peck."

"You're downright insufferable, you do know that, don't you?"

"I do, but I have you to balance me out, and that's all I really need, isn't it?"

[reverii-library]

▸ TO LOVE AND TO LOSE┊regulus black.

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ➟‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ( navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

⤷ regulus black x reader

in which, your lover is gone, and you have no idea what to do about it.

━━ ⭑ content warning : angst ; major character death ; hyperventilating ; thoughts of suicide ; etc. i recommend reading rue des trois frères or je te laissera des mots with this one (i did). also requests for regulus are open (please send some lol).

━━ ⭑ word count : 1.0k

HE WAS GONE.

That was the first thing you could think when the letter slipped from your hands onto the ground, before you inevitably followed it, your legs buckling underneath you weight that you'd never realized was so very heavy.

Your lover, your other half, your Regulus. He was dead, never to return, never to kiss you with those soft lips again, never to hold you in his arms and whisper sweet nothings to you again, never to play that song that the both of you loved far too much and to for the two of you to dance to it again.

He was truly gone.

Your world didn't truly feel real now. You looked around, frantically searching for something to grasp onto, something to ground you, but found that no such thing existed ━ save for that awful, damned letter with which Regulus wrote his last words.

Your first instinct was to scream. To cry, to sob, to weep. To do something that any normal person would do when they'd lost the person that most mattered to them, but when you tried to scream you found that your voice lacked the power to do so, and that all that came out was a pitiful rasp, and when you tried to sob you lacked even the strength to do so.

So there you sat, crippled by the news of your lover's death, and alone. Terribly alone.

You always seemed to end up alone, didn't you?

"No, he can't be ━ he isn't ━ " The words came out quickly, and were almost inaudible. You breathing grew ragged, erratic, and in moments you were hyperventilating, termbling, unable to intake breaths properly at your panic grew.

For, who were you without Regulus? He'd always been your star, your star, outshining everyone ━ even you. But you'd never minded as much, for the spotlight was somewhere he always belonged. And you'd forever be there to greet him in the shadows, to kiss him and to tell him of how much you loved him.

A small, mirthless chuckle escaped your lips at the thought.

Forever.

What a lie.

Forever was a promise, one that could never be kept. You wondered what kind of a fool was the first to make it. Yes ━ a fool. That is what love had made you. A fool, for such hope of such a bright future.

How you wished Regulus was here, now. He'd always so easily comforted you in time such as these, ones of utter despair. For what was pain if he was there? It was nothing more than an afterthought. You'd once likened it to an obstacle. How wrong you'd been. You'd never known pain. Not like this.

You hated him, you then realized, as you sat there, broken beyond belief. You hated him, your Regulus. Hated him for leaving you this way, hated him for never telling you of his plans. You could have helped him, could have stopped him, could have done something.

But instead, you laid here, your tears staining the already grimy floor, your ribcage racking with horrible, terrible sobs ━ cries for him, for your now dead lover. And how awful it truly felt, to have such a person gone. He was your other half. He always had been. When you'd met him, it was as if he'd shown you this side of yourself that was always hidden from your view. And now? Now that he was gone, never to return?

It felt as if someone had dug their hand straight into your chest and, carelessly, tore your flesh and took out your heart, before crushing it right there in front of you. All you could do was look and watch as it the muscle stopped moving, as blood gushed from it and as your own body began to grow tired and cold. Yes, cold. That is how you felt ━ so very cold.

Perhaps it would be best to end myself here, you then thought, a dry laugh leaving you at the prospect. Perhaps I should cut out my heart, just as he had just done, and lay it out on the ground. It wouldn't change very much ━ it most certainly wouldn't change how I feel now, for I'd feel just as cold as I do now and just as broken as I do now. And maybe, even, I could show Regulus his mistake when I make it to the afterlife ━ could make him realize in what state he left me.

But you wouldn't do it. No matter how you longed to. You were too much a coward to do so. Even with all the anguish that now occupied your heart, fear controlled you.

And you also knew that you couldn't, for what Regulus did was noble, and for that, you did not hate him. You could never hate him, no matter how much you wished to do so. For he'd done this so that you could live on, and even if that was the last thing you wanted to do, you would do it. For him.

Life would go on, just as it always had, and so would you, with time. You would grow, adapt, and maybe even learn to accept his death. But not now, and certainly not anytime in the near future. But, for Regulus, you would go on.

You would live just as he'd wanted you to, even if you couldn't imagine living without him ━ couldn't bare it. You'd go on smiling, even if your cheeks ached and begged for rest. You'd go loving, even if you couldn't foresee loving another.

Because, for Regulus, you'd do anything.

[reverii-library]

━━ ⭑ pairing : sirius black x reader.

━━ ⭑ cw : cigarette / drug usage, shotgunning.

━━ ⭑ sum : sharing a cigarette with sirius.

YOU SMILED TO YOURSELF, eyes half-lidded as Sirius brought the cigarette from his lips to your own. You relished the feeling of the smoke filling your lungs, and felt a certain satisfaction as you exhaled, watching as the fumes disappeared into the air. You leaned against your boyfriend as he then took a drag of his own, resting your head upon his chest clad with a leather jacket.

"Y'know, I think if we stay out here much longer, Slughorn's g'nna suspect something," you mumbled as Sirius returned the cigarette to your fingers. Inhaling the intoxicating smoke once more, your eyes wandered over to Sirius's, curious as to what his response would be.

The boy shrugged, as if totally unbothered by the idea. "Let him. He won't do anything about it. The guy's never given me detention for all the times I've skipped."

Knowing this to be true, you nodded, handing back the smoke to Sirius. You watched intently as he brought it to his lips, allowing the poisonous fumes to invade his lungs. He then turned to you, having not yet exhaled.

Sirius angled your chin up with his finger, and, slowly ━ painfully slowly, he leaned in, before capturing your lips with his. His tongue coaxed your mouth open, and in a moment's notice, Sirius blew the smoke from his chest into your mouth. A small moan escaped your lips as Sirius pulled you impossibly closer, and you found your hand tangling itself into the boy's soft hair, a stark contrast to his personality.

The feeling of Sirius's lips against yours paired with the smoke and heat of the cigarette was nothing short of ecstasy. You savored the feeling, the faint bitterness of the smoke and rough sweetness of Sirius, memorized it. If there was a single moment you could relive, you knew it would be this one. It didn't matter even if Slughorn did, in fact, punish the two of you for skipping class, you then realized, for as long as you were here ━ in Sirius's arms ━ you'd be perfectly fine.

[reverii-library]

▸ A FAITHFUL COMPANION ┊sirius black.

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ➟‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ( navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

⤷ yandere!sirius black x muggle!reader

in which, a black dog seems to keep you company wherever you go.

━━ ⭑ content warning : stalking, obsessive tendencies, swearing, breaking & entering, violence & blood, degradation (not specifically sexual), allusions to kidnapping, reader is in college/university, etc. i felt like sirius would totally use his animagus abilities to his advantage (if he was a yandere), so here is this fic.

━━ ⭑ word count : 2.8k

A BLACK DOG.

That was the first thing your eyes laid upon when you exited the decrepit old vehicle that was the bus that took you to and from your college. A single, average-sized, black dog.

You'd always had a certain fondness for animals. From infancy to adulthood, this was a fact that didn't change. Cats, bunnies, birds, dogs ━ it didn't matter the kind. All that mattered is that you could pet it. You'd since, of course, learned that not all pets or animals were one for such forms of affection, but you nevertheless adored them all the same.

You didn't think much of the dog after you began making your way back to your home, only really took notice of it when you caught it in the corner of your eye, trailing behind you by a few meters. Were it not for the late hour or the fact that you were walking on your own, you may not have been so paranoid as to look behind you every once in a while, and, by extension, notice the animal, but you were glad you did.

You slowed down, and so did the dog. Strange, you thought, but you supposed animals were simply like that. You then continued, and noticed that it too resumed its leisure pace.

So, making the decision to act off of impulse, you paused your walking once again, before turning around and squatting down, offering the creature a friendly demeanor. The dog seemed to understand your openness, as it then approached, smelling the fist you extended towards it and allowing you to give it a good scratch behind the ears.

It was, most likely, very unsanitary of you do do this ━ the animal could have had all sorts of diseases or aggressive tendencies, but you'd always loved animals to a fault, so you decided to take the risk.

The dog's fur was remarkably soft, you realized, as you brushed your fingers against it. Much softer than that of a wild dog would be, or a stray, at the very least. Perhaps the animal was lost.

"Hey, little guy. Do you know where your home is?"

The dog, of course, did not respond, but you let out a small chuckle as it leaned into your touch and even went so far as to try to lick your face. This, you tried to avoid, wanting to maintain some level of safety and cleanliness, but the animal managed to give you one good kiss after numerous attempts.

"You're an affectionate one, aren't you?" You murmured under your breath, shaking your head. "Well, you're cute, but I'm going to have to head back home. Hope you find yours, buddy."

You gave the dog an affectionate few pats on the head before standing up fully and resuming your walk, not aware of the fact of the figure that then trailed behind you carefully, now hidden by a veil of darkness.

* * *

The next time you saw the dog, exiting the bus as you always did, you felt an eerie sense of deja vu pass over you.

That was, of course, until you realized that this very situation had occurred only the day prior. Still, it almost unnerved you ━ the way the animal sat so perfectly still. Were it not for the occasional breeze that brushed its fur in an almost imperceptible manner, you would have been sure it was a statue.

"A creature of habit, huh?" You mused as you stared at the animal in some attempt to soothe the odd feeling that was growing in your stomach.

The dog followed you, closer this time, and you didn't bother it. Despite the irregular nature of the whole ordeal, you supposed that if this dog was at your side, it would hopefully ward off any unwanted interactions with strangers or people with malicious intent. You never knew the true intention of people these days.

And so, days passed on like this, and a sort of companionship blossomed. The dog would appear in the same place at the very same time every day, and it would accompany you on your walk home. And, although your were originally slightly apprehensive towards the animal, you grew a quick liking to it. Its presence made you feel safer during what once were your lonesome walks home, and the animal itself was rather friendly.

It never seemed to follow you to your doorstep, however, always disappearing the moment before your house became visible. And, in a sense, for this you were glad. You'd most likely feel too guilty to deny the animal shelter if it pleaded with you on your doorstep for such, even though you hadn't the money or the space for it. So, for now, the brief but frequent walks were sufficient.

* * *

You sat in the large, imposing library of your college, chewing on the edge of your pen as a matter of habit. Before you on the table sat several pages of lined paper, the likes of which you were supposed to have an essay written upon in no less than a week.

"Shit."

You cursed perhaps too loudly, as a few heads turned your way, though no one made any comment as to reprimand you. It was rather unfortunate that every word seemed to echo ━ that every sound seemed to reverberate in the large building. The walls were high and the ceiling curved into a sort of arc, though as beautiful as it was, the architecture seemed to be the main cause of this. It made everyone inside of the library keenly aware of every word uttered ━ every sound made.

It was as a result of this that you'd been struggling for the past hour or so to write down so much as a single sentence. You'd gone to the library to have some peace and quiet, but you seemed to have neither.

Your eyes darted about the room, looking for something to focus on, something to ground you. The rain ━ yes, that would be it. Your eyes wandered over to the large window that occupied the wall beside you, and you did your very best to pay attention to the pitter-patter of the raindrops. You'd always found a certain calmness accompanied the rain.

It was, then, by watching the window so very intently that you spotted a black figure in the distance, unmoving amongst the chaos that was the rainstorm. In some attempt to discern what it was that stood there, you leaned forward in your seat ━ not that it was of much help, of course ━ and squinted your eyes.

It was a dog, you realized.

A black one, you suspected, though you couldn't be very sure as the fog and rain distorted its color, but of this much you were certain: it was a dog, and it was staring right at you, sitting perfectly still.

Instantly, you imagined it must have been the black dog that so often followed you, but you quickly realized that the distance from your college to the bus stop was too considerable a trudge, so you concluded it must have been a different mutt that had found itself upon the grounds of your beloved college.

Still, you couldn't shake the feeling that it looked so hauntingly familiar.

When the rain finally cleared up, the dog was gone, and you wondered if it was a trick of the light, or an image your own mind had conjured up. It was of no importance, however, you quickly reminded yourself, as you remembered the papers in front of you. Work, they seemed to whisper. Write something. And yet you couldn't seem to get the image of that dog out of your mind.

When you took the bus back home, having wasted an entire afternoon, the black dog was there to greet you, and you let it.

And so, days passed, and eventually weeks, and eventually months. And with the time, the black dog ━ the name of which you still did not know in spite of the amount of time you'd spent with it ━ became a familiar presence, one that seemed to follow you in the most peculiar of places ━ from your bus station to the outside of your bedroom window to perhaps, even, following you inside of your college campus.

Of course, some of the times you'd seen the dog you were sure were figments of your imagination, but you found it odd all the same ━ how this one dog seemed to infiltrate your mind so powerfully. You loved animals, yes, but you'd never realized to what extent ━ and you surely never expected that your mind would conjure up this creature everywhere you went. You'd certainly never expected to begin hallucinating the poor thing.

After yet another long day of schoolwork, you stepped off of your bus, your eyes almost immediately searching for that black dog that had so quickly became your partner ━ one you never found. Your eyes narrowed as you scrutinized the landscape before you, which now seemed barren without the creature.

It felt strange now, walking home completely alone, but you supposed that the dog may have found its home or had wandered off to somewhere new, and for this you could not be mad. You could only hope that the creature was now safe, wherever it was.

You let out a soft sigh as you felt the hardwood floor of your home underneath you and swung the door shut behind you, collapsing on your small couch. Your legs ached from the walk from the bus ━ one that was always far too long for your liking. You desperately wished that it could simply drop you off to your front door, but, alas, you were a struggling college student, and such luxuries were not ones you could afford.

After spending what you thought of as a considerable amount of time resting, you stood up with the intention to heat up some food ━ leftovers, most likely, as you'd hardly eaten all day. On your path to do so, however, you felt your stomach sink upon noticing a man in your kitchen, his back to you as he stared at an object you could not yet discern.

You stood, paralyzed for all but a moment, though it didn't take long for him to sense your presence, and to turn around, a devilish grin painting his features.

The man seemed to be about your age, perhaps slightly older, with long, dark hair, brilliant blue eyes and rather distinct look about him. You did not know how or why, but instantly you knew that he was no normal man ━ not in the slightest. Something was off about him, something equal parts alluring and eerie.

"Who are you?" Your words came out in a rather weak manner, and you wanted to hit yourself for sounding so vulnerable in front of this most likely dangerous stranger who had, for some reason, broken into your house. You weren't quite sure why he was here, of course ━ you didn't have anything of real value stored away in your home.

The man in question titled his head at you, as if observing your expression, before returning his gaze to the object in his hand ━ a picture frame, you realized. One you'd placed on the counter with the intent of moving long ago, though you'd never really had the time or put in the effort to do so.

"You muggles and your silly questions. Why does it matter who I am? If I were you, I'd be asking why I'm here."

Your brows furrowed at his words. Muggles? What on earth were those?

"Why ━ why are you here?"

At the question, the man's smile only seemed to grow. He did not reply, however, instead opting to continue staring at the picture in his hands.

"I don't know why you chose to live in such filth. I've never seen a wizard occupying such a small, dirty home. Tell me, Y/n ━ do you wish for your life to change?"

Wizard. The word rang in your ears, loud and clear. This was a madman you were speaking to, surely. What was he on about?

And ━ moreover, how did he know your name?

"I... wha..?" The more questions you had, the more they seemed to impede your question-asking abilities. You could hardly get a word out.

"I could buy you a much better home than this. Much bigger, cleaner. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Something luxurious."

His words were confusing. A house? Why would he buy a house? You felt as though you were lacking some crucial piece of information.

"Why are you here? Please, just ━ you can take anything you want. Just ━ please, leave," you finally managed to say.

The man raised an eyebrow, his head raising to stare at you. He looked almost amused. "Excuse me?"

"Please ━ please leave. Or I'll ━ I'll call the police."

"The police? What are those?"

Your brows furrowed. "I'm not ━ this isn't a joke. I'll have you fucking arrested ━ I'll do it if you don't... Just, get out of my home."

"No need for such harsh words, love. And we needn't escalate this so quickly. I don't plan on harming you."

"Then why are you here?"

Once again, that devilish smirk returned, but this time with a response to your question. "To take you to somewhere... better."

"Who are you?" Your mind was now buzzing, but you wanted answers. This man seemed to know something about you, and you wanted ━ needed to know what, a need that seemed to transcend your practical thoughts. You should have already called the police by now.

"Sirius Black."

"How do you know who I am?"

The man ━ Sirius, took a step forward, and you in turn took a step back. He then frowned.

"You muggles aren't very bright, are you? Or is that just you?"

"What?"

"I've known who you are for a long time now, Y/n. I've been... watching you. Up close and from afar. I suppose you could say you've caught my eye."

"What do you want from me?"

"Want?" Sirius echoed. "I do not want anything from you, my dear. What I want is to help you, is all. Now, whether you accept that help or not is entirely up to you."

"And... if I don't?"

"Then I'll simply have to see to it that you do."

You tried to control your breathing, which had grown increasingly erratic from his cryptic responses. Your eyes darted about your kitchen until finally you spotted your telephone, on the right wall, behind Sirius.

Shit.

He seemed to pick up on what you were doing as his eyes followed your line of sight. "I wouldn't do anything if I were you. It'll be easier for both you and I if you cooperate."

You bit the inside of your cheek. You had to try. Your eyes searched for something to use ━ a weapon of sorts. It found no other than a plant vase that sat on the counter, but within reach. Unconventional, you supposed, but you didn't have many other options.

In a single, ragged motion, you ran towards Sirius before hitting his head with the vase and ━ to your partial surprise (you hadn't swung with very much force) ━ shattering it completely. You tried not to pay mind to the stinging on your hand or the small but numerous shards that had embedded themselves into your arm as you ran towards the phone. Your hands trembled as you tried to tap the numbers 9-1-1, but just as your finger brushed against final one, a harsh force pushed you against the ground.

Sirius loomed above your now bloodied form, a dangerous expression on his face. His eyes were wide with the kind of paranoia that made your heart skip a beat. He looked beastly ━ almost animal-like as he bent down, hovering only inches above you.

"See what happens when you don't cooperate? Look at the mess you made. I was going to be nice. But now look at what you've done ━ " You shivered as his hands came to caress your cheeks, softly at first, before then digging into your skin with his unnaturally sharp nails. You bit back a whimper.

"Yes ━ nice, I was going to be very nice. But you've ruined it all, you stupid muggle. But that's fine. Your cooperation isn't needed. I only hoped for it."

He then took out an oddly shaped wooden stick ━ or something of that sort from his pocket. Sirius smiled wildly, as a predator would upon catching their prey.

"Sweet dreams, my dear. I suppose we can only hope you are ready for what comes next."

And then, everything went dark.

[reverii-library]

▸ WRITTEN IN THE STARS┊regulus black.

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ➟ ‎ ‎ ‎ ( navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

⤷ regulus black x shy!reader

in which, two almost-strangers meet one another by coincidence, and find that they may have more in common than they initially thought.

━━ ⭑ content warning : light flirting & angst (?) but basically no warnings. mainly just two people chatting. very slightly ooc regulus, ig (just has to do w/ his views), etc.

━━ ⭑ word count : 3.2k

A YAWN PASSED THROUGH your tired lips as you gently laid yourself down onto your soft bed, slipping underneath the covers to protect you from the cold air of your dormitory. Your eyes fluttered shut as you awaited for a peaceful slumber to consume you — one that never did.

It was rather impressive — impressively idiotic, that is, that you could spend an entire day wishing that you were asleep, but once your body was given a comfortable bed and the silence needed to do so, you felt more awake than you ever had over the long course of the day.

It was for this very reason that you found yourself now sauntering about the halls of Hogwarts, a book held snuggly between your chest and your arms. It was already nearing midnight by the time you'd decided to leave your dorm, coming to the conclusion that, if you could not sleep, it was better to appreciate the night for what it was worth.

Though you were able to remain relatively quiet, the halls seemed to resound with the sound of your footsteps. You'd never been one for breaking rules. Even now, you found yourself pausing to listen for any sounds that would indicate the presence of another, in the case that a teacher too was wandering the halls. Though it didn't make very much sense — after all, the professors required just as much rest as the students — you were at times convinced that some of the teachers never slept.

Not that you could blame them. There was no doubt that many of the students in Hogwarts were skilled in the art of troublemaking.

You hadn't even realized that you'd entered a classroom until you noticed the faint flickering of a candle's light, sending some of the shadows dancing along the walls. Moonlight bled in through the large window that occupied the majority of the tower's walls, casting a faint silver hue throughout the room. You'd entered the Astronomy Tower, and it seemed as though you were not alone.

Before you sat none other than the silver-eyed, raven-haired boy by the name of Regulus Black, his eyes trained on a novel in his hands.

You knew of Regulus. Though you'd seldom spoken to him outside of the context of classes, it was common knowledge that he was the younger brother of the notorious Sirius Black. He was a reserved boy, not unlike yourself, but a stark contrast to his brother, and exuded a certain coldness and respectability. You often noticed him reading in the library or even in the few classes the two of you shared, sitting by himself or with his small group of Slytherins.

"I haven't seen you up here before."

You jolted at the unexpected voice. Lost in your own thoughts, you had deliberately failed to notice that Regulus was no longer consumed by his book, and was instead staring directly at you.

"I'm — I'm sorry?"

"No one usually comes up here — not at this time, at least," the boy explained. "I didn't expect to have any company."

"O—oh." You replied, pursing your lips. "I could... leave, if you'd like?"

Regulus shrugged, his eyes returning to the pages of his book. "You don't seem like you'd be much of a bother."

You nodded, awkwardly looking back at your own book, not yet having decided where to sit. You were unsure if he wanted to continue talking with you or if he wanted to be left to his solitude, so, after some thought, you situated yourself some good distance across from Regulus, not so far that the two of you could not converse but not so close that you or he would feel compelled to do so.

"You're in my potions class."

Startled yet again by the sudden statement, you looked up from your novel to find Regulus watching you carefully.

"I am," you breathed.

Regulus nodded to himself thoughtfully, and you could swear that a ghost of a smile danced along his lips.

"I remember, now. Y/n, isn't it? Slughorn has a certain fondness for you. He complains of your absence at his dinner parties."

"He does?"

"Nearly every time."

You considered his words. "I've — I've never been very interested in the prospect of attending one. Are they... any good?"

"They're dreadful."

Your brows furrowed. "Why do you go, then?"

"My parents would never let me refuse such an opportunity."

You could understand this. You supposed the only reason you were able to spend your nights without Slughorn's presence was because you had never told your parents of the invitation in the first place. Though, you suspected that even if you had, you would still find some way to avoid the dinners. Social gatherings were never something you particularly fancied.

"That makes sense, I suppose."

The two of you maintained a prolonged eye-contact, before you inevitably looked away, deterred only by the impenetrable nature of his stare. You could feel, however, that Regulus's eyes did not falter from you, and you tried to ignore his piercing gaze by focusing on your novel.

"You're reading Pride and Prejudice?" Regulus then questioned after some time, one brow raising in what appeared to be curiosity.

"You know of it?"

"I've read some muggle literature. I haven't read it myself, but I most certainly have heard of Jane Austen."

"You've — you've read muggle literature?" You echoed, utterly bemused. Though you didn't normally assume such things, you'd never imagined that Regulus Black, known pureblood and Slytherin, would find any interest in literature that was not written by someone of magical descent.

"When I find myself alone, yes, I occasionally give it the benefit of the doubt."

You stared at Regulus, quite nearly impressed.

"I don't believe I've ever heard of a pureblood that willingly reads non-magical literature, even fiction."

He offered you something akin to a half-smile. "Well, I am not as tasteless as the rest of my family. I don't believe one needs to be of magical descent to be skilled in the art of writing." He paused. "Speaking of, you know of them?"

"Well, I — everyone knows of the Blacks, don't they?"

Regulus shrugged. "I suppose they do."

A silence followed, and although a certain tension was present, the quiet was not entirely unbearable.

"Why have you come up here so late?" He asked you after a few beats.

"Couldn't sleep," you replied simply. "You?"

"I needed some time to think. I find that this tower is the perfect place to do so, when not filled to the brim with students and teachers."

You felt the beginnings of a smile tug at your lips. "It truly is."

Your eyes fixated upon the night sky, and a quietness settled oncemore.

Some idle conversation passed after this, coupled with even more silence, but the quiet was not unenjoyable. You’d always quite liked silences — they always made thinking much easier, but your appreciation of them seemed to be enhanced in the boy’s company, something you would have never suspected. To be fair, however, the mere fact that you had any company at this hour was something that you would have never guessed would happen.

"I should head back to my dorm," you then said, getting up in a rather abrupt manner. You did not know why you did so. You weren't yet tired, but you felt a sudden need to return to the safety of your bed — felt it suddenly and quite intensely.

“So soon?” Regulus didn’t seem too troubled by your potential departure despite his words, his eyes wandering over to the book in his hands and his expression so perfectly indifferent. You couldn’t tell exactly why, but you felt a certain sadness at the thought of him not caring, not that you could very much blame him if he didn't. He hardly knew you. 

“I just remembered that I have an exam in Herbology. I don’t want to be any more tired than I should be.”

The lie rolled easily enough past your tongue, but you knew that Regulus could tell that what you were saying was not the exact truth as he nodded and leaned against the wall, narrowing his eyes upon you for all but a moment before opening his book. 

You stared at him for perhaps a moment too long before you made your leave. 

“Wait.”

Your footsteps came to a halt just as you reached the doorway. You turned. 

“Come back,” Regulus said, and you felt your eyebrows knit together at the statement. “If — if you cannot sleep any other night, come back. Your company is not entirely unenjoyable, and I come up here nearly every night.”

It was a question in the form of a demand, and you could tell such by the way Regulus seemed to shift awkwardly in his spot, his eyes holding something indescribable behind them. Nervousness, perhaps. It was odd. No one had ever acted nervous around you before. 

“If I am ever particularly energetic,” you agreed, before disappearing into the hallway. 

* * *

You thought of that night for the rest of the week. 

Your mind mulled over every word spoken, every moment of silence that the two of you had shared. You had little idea of why this very interaction occupied your thoughts in such an obsessive manner. It was a mere coincidence that you had found and spoken to Regulus; nothing more. Still, some small part of you hoped it wasn’t. 

It was, in hindsight, rather foolish that you forgot that you and Regulus shared Herbology among other classes. When you lied, for some strange reason you were under the impression that Potions was your only class in common. 

If Regulus was angry or annoyed, he didn’t show it — only shot you some small, knowing smile when your eyes met that made your stomach turn. He did not make any effort to speak or interact with you, and this made you feel all the more guilty — you didn’t want to make him think that you disliked him in the slightest. If anything, his presence had been refreshing. 

Other than this, classes went on as they usually did: slowly, painfully. 

It wasn’t until the next week that you decided to return, figuring that the only remedy to what was now your inability to think of anything but school and of the Astronomy Tower was by returning to it. 

Your footsteps echoed throughout the room, quiet but loud all at once. 

You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that Regulus looked somewhat surprised at the sight of you. It was, perhaps, wishful thinking that he then smiled, but he was undoubtedly startled by your presence, and at this you felt a certain satisfaction. 

“Hi,” you greeted, not very sure of what else to say. You always found that interactions with just barely acquaintances and almost-friends were more difficult than those with strangers. A lack of familiarity was something that was in itself familiar to you, but a small amount of such was something you were much less used to. 

“Hello,” Regulus responded after a moment. “Trouble sleeping?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I could.”

Regulus nodded.

Though there was some initial awkwardness, it was soon mollified by a steady stream of conversation, ranging from topics that evolved from trivial things to what could have perhaps been considered philosophical discussions — not that you disliked this in the slightest. In fact, you were beyond glad to have someone to speak to on topics that transcended the simplicity of day-to-day life.

From that night on, you found yourself, much to your dismay, only thinking more of Regulus, of your discussions. However, you couldn't bring yourself to stop your visits. Instead, you allowed them to become part of your routine. Visiting Regulus soon became something you expected.

* * *

"Are you usually this quiet?"

Regulus's voice startled you out of your thoughts.

"Sorry?"

"Well, and I don't mean for you to take any offense, but you are awfully quiet. And considering my own nature, that's especially odd for me to say."

You pursed your lips. You'd always known yourself to be quiet, but remaining so made you the most comfortable. Besides, idle conversation and small talk had never been a fortitude of yours.

"I have a loud mind."

Regulus hummed at this, and your heart skipped a beat at his next words. "Would I hear it if I got closer?"

"Maybe.”

Regulus took a seat beside you and leaned against the wall, admiring the stars.

A silence ensued, one in which the two of you merely gazed at the stars, appreciating the way they flickered from bright to brighter, expertly illuminating the night sky.

"Are you any good at Astronomy?" Regulus then inquired, his voice piercing through the quiet.

"I like to think so. When I was... when I was young, I always wanted to learn about the stars." You sighed contently, bending your knees so that you could rest your chin against them. "Are you?"

"My parents didn't name me after a star with the expectation that I'd be bad at it."

You hummed in response, before you felt a smile curve your lips, and eventually your giggles filled the air.

"What?" Regulus asked, a bemused smile on his visage.

You allowed your laughter to dissipate before you spoke. "I'm sorry, it's just — I just realized that it's rather ironic, that your name is Regulus and you just so happen to be in the Astronomy tower this late at night, every night."

Regulus, at this, felt his smile grow, until peals of laughter too fell from his lips and danced with yours. He liked your laugh, he thought to himself.

It wasn't even something that was particularly funny. Ironic, yes, but nothing to warrant this fit of laughter from the both of you. You had, in all honesty, no true understanding of why this affected you so, but you mused that it may have had something to do with your company.

When your laughters finally quieted down, a comfortable silence settled, and you couldn't help but steal a glance at Regulus, at the way his eyes squinted and his lips curved so perfectly when he smiled — a true, unbridled smile. And for one brief, foolish moment, you mind toyed with the idea that he may have been one of the most beautiful boys you'd ever seen. You didn't allow the thought to mingle in your mind, however, as he opened his eyes and spoke.

"Do you not find it difficult, being by yourself so often?" Regulus then questioned suddenly, pausing.

"I — I see you in the halls or during feasts occasionally. You never seem to have very much company, or when you do, you never seem to be engaging in very much conversation."

He noticed you. You didn't know why you felt so struck by his sudden statement. Perhaps it was the question itself, one that you'd so often asked yourself, sitting in your dorm or in the library, so close yet so far from everyone else. Or, perhaps it was because he saw you, someone he'd never before talked to outside of the safety of these nights, where social standings meant virtually nothing — that even though you often thought yourself to be so, you weren't nearly as invisible as you thought.

"I... I will admit, it can be lonely, at times, being alone. I mean — I do like being by myself, but I don't fancy being alone as often as I am. I think... I think, though, that it can be just as lonely as having superficial friendships or relationships where you don't really like each other, but you're just staying together for comfortability or for fear of change. I just so happen to not spend my time trying to nurture something that I know will never truly grow."

Regulus hummed at this, his eyes wandering back to the stars. He then closed his eyes, and you admired the way the silver light of the moon seemed to make his skin glow.

"Now that I'm thinking of it, I don't think I quite like my friends."

"You don't?"

He shook his head. "In fact, I don't believe I'd have any if keeping up appearances was not important. Every one of them either have an awful nature, or they lack any sort of intelligence."

"Why wouldn't you like them? They sound lovely."

Regulus smiled, and you couldn't help but mirror his expression. "Not nearly as lovely as you are."

Your smile faltered, but then grew as your eyes fixated themselves onto the floor. You wanted to tell him, that though the both of you didn't spend time together outside of the cover of darkness that you also thought that he was lovely, that you wanted to speak to him again the next night, and then the next, and then the next — that you looked forward to seeing him all day, that your heart skipped a beat whenever he sat nearer than usual, that whenever your skin so much as accidentally brushed against his, any doctor in their right mind would think that you belonged in a hospital by the way your heart was racing. That there was just something about him — something so very indescribable that drew you to him.

But you never were very good with words, so you hoped that your heated cheeks and the silence between the both of you spoke loudly enough on your behalf.

"I want you to come to the Yule Ball with me."

At the sudden words, your head shot up to find Regulus staring at you, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"I... what...?"

"My friends are bringing dates to the ball, as everyone seems to be doing, and... I don't believe I'd truly want to go with anyone but you."

You opened your mouth to reply, but felt utterly unable to truly respond the way you wanted to. You so desperately wanted to reply with an exuberant 'yes', but so startled by the statement, you were having trouble expressing this. He wanted to take you to the ball. You hadn't even anticipated going, suspecting that, if you did, it would be alone, or with some friends who already had dates — and you knew better than to third wheel at events such as those.

"I don't want you to feel compelled," Regulus muttered after a moment. "It's merely a proposition. If you don't want to — "

"I do," you then blurted. "I... I would love that — to go with you. To the ball."

Your heart fluttered as a radiant smile curved Regulus's lips, and already you knew it was worth it. If all did not go well — if the ball was not all that you would expect it to be, just his smile made it worth it.

"Brilliant. Well, I'll... I suppose we'll have time to discuss everything else later."

You smiled, breathing a laugh. "Lots, I'd imagine."

You hadn't even realized how very close Regulus sat until you stared at him with a certain twinkle in your eyes, one of amazement and admiration — one that could perhaps turn into something even more.

And then, perhaps without realizing it, Regulus leaned forward, you following his actions until your lips met in the softest of kisses.

And, Merlin, was it one of the most tender things you'd ever experienced.

Regulus was gentle, his touch on you electric, and you grinned against his lips as his hand just barely grazed the skin of your cheek, before resting there to support your face.

You, too, were shy at first, but your fingers managed to tangle themselves in his dark curls, something you'd wanted to do for much too long.

You had no idea how long he had been kissing you by the time he finally stopped — hours, minutes, seconds — they were all meaningless in those few, blissful moments. So, before you could think of anything else, you spoke.

"Kiss me again."

And he did.

[reverii-library]

▸ ONLY ONES WHO KNOW┊dorian gray.

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ➟‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

⤷ dorian gray x artist!reader

in which, you spend a quiet morning with your lover, dorian gray. (based off this request.)

━━ ⭑ content warning : mild suggestive content & talk, romantic themes, etc.

━━ ⭑ word count : 1.7k

YOU AWOKE in someone else’s bed. 

The sunlight beamed through the curtains in bright rays, weaselling its way into every part of the room and caressing your face with its warmth. Your eyes fluttered open slowly, adjusting to the soft glow of the light, and your cheeks grew rather hot at the familiar feeling of Dorian’s arms wrapped around your waist, his grip firm but gentle all at once. 

It was mornings like these you most adored — a quiet moment to contrast your loud, busy life. A moment alone with your lover, with your thoughts. Turning to face Dorian, you admired every one of his features, ghosting your hand over his bare skin. He always looked beautiful, of course, but especially when he was sleeping.

A smiled tugged at your lips as you pried yourself out of Dorian’s grasp, and although it took some time and an incredible effort to do so without waking him, you managed to escape. 

As you placed on a robe, you chuckled upon witnessing Dorian grumble quietly and reach for a pillow, burying his head into it in place of your chest.

Now in your robe and nothing but (the servants and others who resided in Dorian’s home were keenly aware of your nights spent with the man; you weren’t very subtle about your relationship with the man when the two of you were in the safety of his home), you wandered about the halls and searched the rooms aimlessly. It was somewhat a habit of yours — exploring Dorian’s home while he was asleep if he didn’t wake up before you. It felt almost intimate, finding his special little artifacts he kept stowed away, artifacts that no one but him and you knew of. 

You ambled around the house for what felt like hours, although it must only have been half an hour at the longest. You allowed your feet to guide you, not very focused on where you were going until you found yourself in Dorian’s study. A smile curved your lips upon spotting the few large canvases he had bought for you in the case that you'd ever wanted to use your creative talents while at his home. You supposed now was a good time to do so. 

Grabbing a stand, a canvas, as well as some of the expensive paints that were left on the desk, you set yourself up in the study and began your work. 

At first, you had very little idea of what or who you wanted to paint. That is, of course, until your mind filled with thoughts of Dorian, and you decided that he’d be an exquisite subject, the beauty that he is. 

You hardly needed him to pose for you to remember every intricate detail of his face and of himself. He had such distinct, pristine features. Even without his true presence, you could imagine his face on the canvas as if it were right there before you. 

When Dorian himself awoke and forced himself out of the comfortable sanctuary that was his bed, he found you in his study with your back turned to him, painting something. He felt a grin curve his lips as he snuck up behind you, watching as you carefully dipped your paintbrush into the white paint and pressed it delicately onto the canvas. You'd always been a rather meticulous person when it came to your craft.

To say he was surprised to find a near-perfect rendition of himself on the canvas was beyond an understatement. 

“You’re up rather early,” you said as your eyes flit over to Dorian’s, having sensed his presence, an amused expression on your face. It was nearly noon. 

“I was hoping to spend my morning with you in bed. Imagine my disappointment when I found that I was caressing a pillow.”

You chuckled at his response, your head shaking as you fought back a fond smile. ”I hope I did not ruin your morning.”

“Hardly,” he replied, walking over to you and giving you an affectionate kiss on the back of your head. You hummed at his touch as you continued to glide your paintbrush along the canvas. 

“And it is finished,” you declared with one last stroke. You had been abnormally quick in completing this portrait, but you weren’t complaining in the slightest. 

“You truly are the most talented painter I know,” Dorian whispered into your ear as he admired your work. 

“You are only saying such because it is of you.”

He hummed. “Perhaps. But I do mean it. You put to shame the greatest of artists.”

You felt a smile grace your lips at Dorian’s words. “You tell beautiful lies.”

“I tell heartfelt truths.” 

The two of you stared at each other in a sort of competition, as if daring the other to look away, until, finally, you did. 

“Perhaps.”

Dorian grinned before pulling you into a slow, gentle kiss. His hand supported the nape of your neck as you allowed him to lead you onto the desk. Though his study was somewhat cold, Dorian's touch heated you sufficiently.

“I love you,” you decided through kisses. 

Dorian paused for all but moment, before resuming with his affections. “And I, you.”

Any tension in you eased, and your smile grew as you pulled Dorian impossibly closer.

“I want to show you something,” Dorian said quite suddenly as he pulled away. You let out a smile whine at this, but nodded all the same, allowing him to take your hand and to lead you wherever he so pleased.

Dorian took you to the other end of his house, until he reached a certain door. You imagined this was the final destination as he took the key that he had looped around his neck and unlocked it. You felt your anticipation build as he opened the door rather slowly. You’d never been in this part of the house in all your time spent with him. 

Your excitement grew still as you observed the insides of the room. It was not like the rest of his home. The floorboards creaked and the walls were a sort of off-white color, lacking the pristine nature of the rest of the building. In fact, this very room was so different from the others that you found it difficult to believe you were in the same building. 

You remained quiet as you observed the room, and Dorian watched you carefully as your eyes landed upon a fabric that seemed to be covering something in the very middle of it all. You walked over to it. 

“Is this what you wished to show me?” You asked, brushing your hands over the colorful fabric — a stark contrast to the bleakness of the walls and the ground. Wordlessly, Dorian nodded, staring at you almost as if he were in a trance. 

Gingerly, you pulled away at the fabric, revealing the artifact underneath. 

In front of you, a painting stood.

In the painting sat a man that could have easily been your father's age, but who bore a striking resemblance to Dorian. His mouth curled into a cruel smile, and his cold eyes seemed to be staring into your very soul. You traced your fingers over the artwork delicately, following the curve of the subject's lips.

Immediately, you could tell that this was no ordinary painting — not by the way it seemed to sweat a dark red liquid — blood, you imagined — and not by the way it seemed to look so eerily similar yet different to Dorian. The man, in question, sauntered behind you. You turned to look from him, to the painting, and found him staring at it, almost in awe, and then at you. His eyes darkened. 

“What is this?” You asked after some time. Dorian smiled. 

“It is the painting that bares all the sins that I have ever committed… it bares my very soul.” 

Though, through your years spent with him, you’d learned that Dorian was often quite dramatic, you could tell that he was not exaggerating in the slightest. He had lied before, but he was not doing so now. 

“When was it painted?” 

“Long ago, when I knew not of the dangers of the world.” He paused. “Are you scared?”

I should be, you think to yourself. I should be terrified. But you were not. 

“A wise man once said, ‘Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.’ I suppose I find myself agreeing with him. If this truly bares your soul, your sins... who would I be to turn away the moment I see them?” 

You stared back at Dorian, and found him smiling radiantly. I wonder how many people he’s shown this to, you thought suddenly. I wonder if I’m the first. It was wishful thinking, of course, but the idea was not improbable. 

"Why are you showing me this?" You then whispered.

Dorian considered the question.

"No one else has seen this painting. Not in this condition." You felt your heart skip at his words as he continued. "And I suppose... I wanted you to see something, something that no other has seen but is infinitely important to me."

You nodded slowly. "Well... I suppose I must thank you. Perhaps I will someday show you something that I find equally as sacred to me — or something that comes close to it."

“Perhaps,” he echoed, and before long his lips had made their way to the back of your neck. He bit gently, and you felt yourself gasp at his brazen touch. “But for now, I believe it would be best to resume what we began last night.”

“Are you so desperate to have me in your bed again, Mr. Gray?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Well, who am I to deny you, then? I suppose I can thank you in other ways,” you said as you allowed him to once more lead you to wherever he pleased, this time with a very clear destination.

[reverii-library]

▸ TAGS.

━━ ✰ by pairing.

# my : kaz brekker x reader

# my : aleksander morozova x reader

# my : sirius black x reader

# my : regulus black x reader

# my : tom riddle x reader

# my : cedric diggory x reader

# my : dorian gray x reader

━━ ✰ by type.

# my : requested

# my : angst

# my : fluff

# my : darkfics / yandere

# my : suggestive

# my : favorites

[reverii-library]

▸ YANDERE KAZ BREKKER HEADCANNONS

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⇢‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

━━ ⭑ content warning : stalking, kidnapping, murder, drugging, mentions of death, mentions of heists & thievery, brief strong language, no pronouns for reader, etc. (based off this request.)

⤷ yandere kaz characteristics : meticulous, unyielding, dangerous.

When Kaz realizes his feelings for you, at first, he wants nothing more than to bury them far below the ground and to forget about them. After all, he's Dirtyhands — Bastard of the Barrel and the closest thing there'd ever to be its king. He doesn't have the luxury of exploring how much further these feeling for you go — not when his entire focus is on getting revenge from Pekka Rollins and making enough kruge to swim in.

So he keeps his feelings hidden, buried deep within the most obscure crevices of his heart. And this works, for a time. Kaz is no stranger to ignoring how he feels, and focusing on his wealth and his revenge has never been a foreign concept to him.

That is, until you get hurt — which, in a place such as Ketterdam, is inevitable.

From there on out, Kaz realizes how important you truly are to him. And, although he'd rather pull his eye out than admit his true feelings, he learns to accept them.

You're a weakness, but one he can't afford to lose.

He remembers how distraught he'd been over Jordie's death vividly, remembers it all too well. He didn't intend on you being a repeat of his brother, even if Jordie's death was only a result of the boy's own naivety.

Kaz begins to slowly remove you from the more dangerous tasks, instead opting hire other members of the Dregs to take your place on most expeditions and heists. He doesn't want you to know of his plans — not yet, and he was no stranger to wait.

He also begins to have some members of the Dregs keep track of you and tell him of your daily activities. It was necessary, he'd argue, to ensure that you remain safe if he wasn't there to protect you, and in Ketterdam, the more eyes he had on you, the better.

Kaz also begins to watch you whenever he can. Some would call it deranged, and maybe it is, but he couldn't care less. All that matters is that he knows where you are at all times, whether you yourself know it or not.

Anyone who he deems a threat, Kaz kills in cold blood, whatever the reason may be. Someone who so much as looks at you for too long may be put in peril, and he isn't past hurting, maiming, and blackmailing to get the message across that you're off limits.

If Kaz were to decide to kidnap you, it would be after much planning and careful consideration. He knows you'd be mad. He knows you'd be scared out of your mind — that you'd be scared of him. But you'd be safe; he'd make sure of that. And if you're safe, what else truly mattered?

Kaz is certain to make sure that you're unconscious when he takes you, but takes some chloroform in the case that you wake up. He isn't particularly keen on taking any chances, especially with you. If he sees you stir, he won't hesitate to place a rag over your mouth to keep you asleep. There wasn't any room for mistake in his plan.

When you awake, you find yourself in an unfamiliar room. For the most part, that is. Items of yours or those that bare an eerie likeness to your own items are scattered about the room, all in a very clean fashion. In fact, the more you stare, the more you find that the room looks almost like your own. The bedsheets are the same color as your own ones, the layout quite similar, too. Though you'd never had much of a say in how your last bedroom appeared, it chilled you down to your core to think of why this one seemed to be a recreation of yours.

When you first see Kaz, you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but the look he gives you makes you shudder instead. Whatever reason you had woken up in a bed that wasn't your own in a room that wasn't your own, wasn't good if he was involved.

If you're terrified of him, Kaz doesn't seem to care. In fact, he's so indifferent to your plight that sometimes you wonder if the real reason he took you was because he loved you, but you weren't in any position to ask.

Kaz isn't one for physical affection, so instead he prefers to spoil you with anything you want. His methods of getting certain items aren't always conventional, or legal, for that matter, but he'd never been one for following the rules.

It's nearly impossible to escape wherever he brings you. Being the master of lock-picking, Kaz is sure to make every lock fool-proof, to reinforce every door. On top of this, he ensures that no one knows of the location to which he takes you, even if he has to bloody his hands to make sure that he's the only one with the knowledge. As it was said: Kaz doesn't like taking chances, especially with you.

Now, this being said, if you do manage to escape, Kaz will go into something of a manic frenzy. He'd done nearly everything to stop you from escaping, and yet you still managed to slip from his grasp.

From there on out he'd spend all of his time searching for you, the rest of his duties be damned. He'd made a promise to himself that he wouldn't lose you — not like he lost Jordie — and he wasn't planning on breaking it.

It wouldn't take long for him to find you. Whether you were still in the woods or whatever deserted land he'd situated the house in, or you'd managed to make it back to the city, rest assured, you'd be found.

"Try to leave again, and I'll break your fucking neck."

It wasn't true, of course. Kaz couldn't harm a hair on your head — not if he tried. But he wasn't above other measures that included hurting the people you loved and scaring you out of your wits, so it was best to simply let yourself believe his lie.

Overall, Kaz is most likely one of, if not the most dangerous person in all of Ketterdam to have an obsession with you. They say he'd do anything for money, but if that was at all true, he'd give it all up just to have you. He's not past killing everyone you've ever known just to make you compliant, and maybe he even finds some sick joy in it — your fear, your utter desperation. He revels in it.

But, at the very least he'll keep you safe, and at the end of the day, that's what everyone in Ketterdam wants, isn't it?

After all, he'd always told you he protects his investments.

[reverii-library]

▸ ME AND MY HUSBAND┊ the darkling.

links ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⇢‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ (navi. & masterlist. & recs. )

⤷ husband!aleksander morozova x female!reader

in which, the general neglects you for long, and after an outburst on his part, comes to regret it. (based off this request.)

━━ ⭑ content warning + notes : angst-to-fluff, thoughts of cheating, being neglected, arguments, hurt/comfort themes, brief but strong language, reader is aleksander's wife, brief nudity (nothing sexual), etc. i almost feel like i just wrote a monologue in the second half, but everytime i tried to change it i just made the story longer, so i'll just leave it at this.

━━ ⭑ word count : 4.1k

━YOU SAT BESIDE AN EMPTY CHAIR, swirling the amber liquid in your glass idly. Your food sat in front of you, untouched. It was unusual, for you to leave your plate and glass so full. But, then again, these were strange times.

Your fellow Grisha spoke amongst themselves, their voices mixing together to form an almost static sound that resonated in the back of your mind. And yet, no matter how many people were among you, no matter how deafening their conversations, you still felt that the room was not entirely full.

You didn't partake in much of the gossip yourself. You felt that it was all so shallow, dirty, in a sense. You rolled your eyes as women and men alike shared their snippets of stories that they'd most likely conjured up only moments before, and felt yourself bothered still when everyone seemed to eat up the so blatant lies.

"Where do you think the general is at this time? Not working, I imagine?"

"I hear that he spends all his time cooped up in that war room of his, barely has time to sleep."

"Surely all he does isn't work in there? I couldn't believe it."

"Well, I heard that he spends every night of his with the Sun Summoner - "

You stopped listening.

This is pointless.

You got up to hopefully escape the clamour and the nonsense, but just as you did so, some servant boy that you were sure that you had never so much as spoken to in your life had apparently made it his life's mission to keep you at the table.

"My lady, I hope you found the food alright? You've hardly picked at it."

It was easy, perhaps too easy, to plaster on a fake smile as your voice dripped with a certain sweetness you'd perfected. You mumbled some quick excuse, and the servant nodded, not engaging you in any further conversation.

You made your way to your bedroom, and once you reached it, you slowly took off your lavish dress and all the other rather ostentatious pieces you wore. You never were quite a fan of all the glitz and glam — not like Aleksander was.

Your eyes wandered up to your mirror as you stared at your bare self.

You don't know why you felt so terribly invisible. Perhaps it was due to the fact that no one seemed to truly notice you without Aleksander at your side, that you seemed to fade into the background without his presence. Or perhaps you had always been that way, people simply didn't want to offend him by not acknowledging his wife when the two were together.

Whichever it was, it didn't truly matter. You simply wished you hadn't tolerated that gossip for so long, wished that you could say something for yourself, for Aleksander, but whenever you tried you felt the words die on your tongue and decided that it was better to simply escape the situation all together. How you wished you had Aleksander's bravery.

You didn't want to believe them. The rumors, the gossip. It was poison, the things that they said. You were smart enough to know better, you told yourself, but as the rumors grew to be more and more explicit and you found your faith in Aleksander waning, you couldn't help but feel the poison seep into your veins. Hear something enough times, and you'll come to believe it — you'd heard that saying before. You never thought that it would apply to yourself.

Before, when rumors did arise about you and your husband, he'd always be there to comfort you or to assure you that they were untrue. Better yet, his presence tended to cease such frivolities. But now, with him nowhere to be seen and doing who knows what, you were left to ponder the rumors on your own.

Maybe he really is fucking that Sun Summoner, you thought with a dry laugh. It'd make sense. She was light and he was darkness. She was the sun, and he was the moon. There was no denying it: they were the perfect match. Maybe that's why I haven't seen him in so long. He's simply too ashamed to see the wife that he pushed to the side, as if I were some plaything.

That night, you went to sleep with thoughts of the Sun Summoner and the war and Aleksander on your mind, wishing your husband was there beside you to ease your mind.

***

When you awoke, Genya stood beside you, smiling gently.

She didn't comment on your smudged mascara or the way you'd failed to situate yourself underneath the covers — something you found you adored about her. She had this way of making people feel at ease no matter the circumstance, and had you perhaps had more free time to spend with the girl, you liked to think that you could develop a close bond with her.

“I don’t believe I’d know what to do without you here, Genya,” you praised once she’d finished her work. She hummed in response.

You admired yourself in the mirror. Not a hint of the last night's weakness remained on your face. Your hair was as pristine as ever, and you could swear that it actually sparkled in the sunlight that creeped in through the curtains.

No one can deny the magic of a tailor's touch, you mused.

"You may get on with your day now. I don't want to keep you from your duties. Thank you."

The girl nodded and made her leave.

You watched as she did so, before turning back to your mirror. Your hands ghosting over your face, from your eyes to your nose to your mouth, and the little details that were uniquely yours.

Nothing seemed quite wrong with it — of course, Genya had made very sure of this. But nothing seemed quite right, either. You didn't look like yourself. It was as if you were occupying some other person's body who bore a striking resemblance to you but still wasn't quite yourself.

It was disconcerting, to say the least.

A small sigh passed through your lips as you got up to greet the day. As Aleksander was busy, you had to make the time for your daily appearances, offering the public some sort of authoritative figure to believe in and to provide reassurance. You weren't the perfect candidate, of course, but you would do.

The day's events didn't differ much from the past ones. You only really had to complete the mundane tasks of mingling with others and participating in some idle chatter — harmless things, really. But the day seemed to drag on, just as the last had and just as those before it had. Weeks felt like months and months felt like years and by the time the day had passed, you couldn't help but laugh at the dreariness of it all.

You collapsed on your bed and gazed up at the ceiling.

It was all simply so pointless, the talking, the drinking, the partying. But so went the life of nobles, you supposed. They weren't made to contribute very much, only to enjoy life as it went on, and now you found even that a difficult feat.

I should go see Aleksander.

The thought came to you before you could stop it. But you found yourself quickly growing a liking to the idea, of seeing him. Perhaps there would not be a lot of time for him to speak to you, but his presence was all that really mattered. You remembered the days when you'd read beside one another. No words were exchanged, but the silence was comforting simply because he was there.

You got up and out of bed before you could think about the subject for much longer. You knew it was impulsive. You knew it. But it was better to live with regrets of all the things you'd done than all the things you didn't do.

***

The general didn't acknowledge you at first, as you leaned against the edge of the doorway when you reached the war room. Whether it was purposeful or he was simply that exhausted, you didn't bother dwelling on the fact. It wouldn't make much of a difference.

"Aleksander," you cooed softly, your expression gentle as the man in question stared at you. If he was startled by your appearance, he didn't show it.

After a few moments of just staring at you, his eyes flit back over to his work.

"Y/n," he greeted in reply. "What are you doing here?"

His response was not hostile, though it was not particularly inviting. What were you doing here? You hardly knew. You weren't sure what you were planning to say once you saw him. A moment went by, and then another, and then another. Say something, you urged yourself. And you did.

"I... I wanted to see you... It's been a while," you whispered, followed by a small chuckle. "We live in the same palace, and yet it's been a while."

Aleksander didn't reply. He didn't seem to want to have this conversation. You didn't particularly want to discuss the matter either, but if you didn't, then who else? You took a seat at one of the chairs that were placed against the walls and watched as Aleksander did his work.

It took many beats of silence for him to finally speak. "I can't work as efficiently with you looking at me like that."

"You never had trouble working when I was with you before."

"I had much less work or stress at that time."

You got up, slowly circling the table at which Aleksander stood as you observed his work.

"When was the last time you slept?" You asked suddenly.

"Recently."

"How recently?"

You awaited his response. It never came.

"Why don't you come to bed, Aleksander?" You said after some time. "It's been the longest time since you've slept beside me... This palace is growing lonelier by the day." A pause. "And I miss you."

Your husband bit his cheek, before staring at you pointedly. "Y/n, I'm working. I don't have the time."

"And yet you seem to have all the time in the world to spend with that Sun Summoner of yours." The retort came before you could stop it.

Aleksander inhaled sharply. "What exactly are you insinuating? The Sun Summoner is a crucial part of my plan. I could not complete it without her."

You felt yourself flinch ever so slightly at his harsh tone. Still, you walked over to him, gently brushing your fingers over his arm.

"Please, darling. You need the sleep. And I..." Your hands moved to cup his cheek tenderly. "...I need my husband. The bed is ever so cold without you, and I can see it in your eyes — please, just for tonight, if no other night."

At first, you thought you'd reached him. He seemed to turn to putty in your hands, and you smiled at this. It reminded you of better days.

But as soon as his own tenderness came, it went. His own hands came to grip yours tightly as his expression grew hostile. Your stomach sunk as he threw your arms away from himself.

"I am busy, Y/n. Being the general means I have much more work than any of the other Grisha. I have infinite loads of stress on my shoulders at the moment and I don't need your incessant voice pestering me to come to bed. I have much more important things to attend to than your childish wants. If all you're looking for is a bed warmer, then I'm sure you'll find solace in many other men."

His words hit you like a slap to the face. You took a staggering step back, your mind spinning.

Never, in all your time spent with him, had your husband ever spoken to you in such a manner. Even during arguments, he'd always remained so calm and collected. It was something you'd grown to adore him for — his unwavering composure, his ever-lasting patience. Insults to him were seen as the lowest form of wit, and aggression was never something that came easily.

But now — in his eyes, in his voice — all you could find was an immense hostility, a hatred of sorts.

"So that is what you think of me? You think me a child? Do you think of me as an inconvenience, Aleksander?"

His words seemed to dawn on him just then, but just as he moved to speak, you continued.

"If I am so inconvenient to deal with, then let me ask you: where have I been all this time that you've been away? Have I been — have I been pestering you to give me attention, whining about your absence? Because, as I remember it, the moment the Sun Summoner made her way here, I have been nothing but flexible." Aleksander tried to interject, but you were not nearly finished nor ready to hear his response.

"I allowed you to ignore our usual traditions, to focus yourself entirely on your plans and not on me because I understood what it must have been like, to be under such immense pressure that you feel it crushes your lungs. I've supported you every step of the way and not once have I complained about this issue. Not once.

"I figured that if I left you alone that you'd be able to finish this all much faster so that I may once again be able to spend my days with you. And yet, days, weeks, months go by and you have hardly spoken so much as a word to me. You do not come to dinners, you do not sleep in our bed, and I can hardly remember the last time you gave me so much as a kiss. And now, after months of this treatment I ask for you to merely sleep beside me and all of a sudden I am a child? I am insolent for asking something of you that any wife would expect from her husband? Surely you don't think that so? And what of that Sun Summoner of which you so highly speak? I've spent nights, lying awake, dreading that as I did so you were spending all of your time and affection with her."

"Alina is — "

You breathed a mirthless laugh. "So that's her name? Alina? The woman who has so easily stolen you away from me?"

"Y/n, she hasn't stolen me away — "

"Saints, Aleksander, don't deny it. This is the longest conversation we've had in months. You cannot even claim to think that she hasn't taken up nearly all of your time." You shook your head. "You may lie to yourself all you want, but don't lie to me. That is not something that I deserve."

You were barely whispering now, and it took everything in you to keep your voice from making that awful, pitiful quiver that everyone made right before they inevitably shed a tear.

You just wanted your husband back. You were in the same room as him and yet you felt as though the two of you were worlds apart. And what a terrible, terrible feeling it was — to feel so distanced from the person you loved above all else.

It was now that you realized how much of a mistake it was to allow this issue to go unaddressed for so long. All of your pent up frustration and loneliness has molded and combined to form some ugly, vile beast that seemed to now be keeping you hostage, and it was suffocating.

Saints, it was so suffocating.

You couldn't breathe.

You hadn't even realized you were crying until you felt a small, pathetic whimper leave your lips when you tried to take a breath of air. Immediately, now, you wanted to leave. This was utterly humiliating. You were usually such a stoic person, able to keep up a smile in the worst of times. However, it didn't seem as though this was the case any longer. It pained you to see how this small issue had affected you so. Perhaps you truly were as childish as he so called you.

Aleksander was quick to be at your side, kneeling down and placing an arm against your shoulder in some half-hearted attempt to solace you, put it was of no use. His once comforting touch felt foreign along your skin.

"Forgive me. I — I shouldn't have come — " You said, pushing him off of you. You felt ashamed. Aleksander had never seen you so distraught over something such as this, and you didn't intend on making this a memorable instance.

"Y/n — "

"Let me go," you snapped, brushing past him and exiting the room, trying to ignore the ache your heart made as you did so.

***

Aleksander didn't know what to say.

There was no denying he'd been working far into the night, but he was doing it for good reason. He was making the second army stronger, was progressing his plan more than he could have ever dreamed. At last, he was constructing a world in which he and his kind could be safe — where you and him could be safe.

And, Saints, perhaps he hadn't give you as much attention and love as you so deserved, but by the time this was all finished, he'd have nothing to give you but his undivided attention and unadulterated love.

The general let out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a seat.

He had been a fool. It was plain and simple. He'd been neglecting you for so long that it had become a habit of sorts. He hadn't wanted to have this conversation. Though he logically knew it would come up, he had still hoped that perhaps you'd forget about his behavior when all was said and done. You'd always been a rather forgiving person.

Aleksander gave you some time to cool off. He needed to think of his words carefully. He knew his little outburst had hurt you much more than your cared to admit, and it pained him to think that he was the cause of such. He was supposed to be the one to protect you from outside forces, to be there when you most needed him. Now, however, the only person you seemed to need protection from was him.

After what Aleksander considered an appropriate amount of time, he found his way to your bedroom. Of course, he still had work, but he'd attend to it later. He could not focus fully upon it until he made matters right with you.

When he entered, Aleksander wasn't surprised to see your figure laying beneath the sheets, your eyes closed. But he knew better than to think that you were asleep. Your breathing was somewhat uneven and he could notice your eyelids twitch ever so slightly as he neared you.

The general sat down beside you on the edge of the bed, his hand moving to rub your shoulder. It was a comforting gesture, something he'd done a thousand times before.

You opened your eyes after some time upon the realization that he would not leave your side until the matter was once again discussed. You sighed, sitting up against your headboard and distancing yourself from Aleksander's touch, no matter how your body yearned for it. You averted his gaze, crossing your arms in front of you to further create some sort of distance.

"Want do you want?" You asked, and although your face remained indifferent, your voice told another story. You wanted to hit yourself for sounding so weak. It was unlike you.

Aleksander's eyes softened.

"To apologize," He started, taking your hand. "I did not mean to snap at you in such a manner, Y/n. I did not mean to yell at you — to say what I did. I've simply been under so much pressure as of late... I didn't mean to neglect you, my love, but I can promise that I will not do so again once we reinforce the fold. You will have my undivided attention."

You stared at him, your brows knitting together. "What do you want from me, Aleksander?"

"What?"

"Do you — do you want me to accept your apology with open arms — to tell you that it's okay, and that I believe you?" You sigh. "I don't. I don't believe you. You tell me this war is going to end soon, but you have no way of knowing that. There's no telling what the next months, the next years will bring. Who's to say you won't be just as busy as you are now?"

"Y/n — "

"Don't." You closed your eyes. "Don't sit there and look at me like that. Don't tell me everything's going to be okay. That's what you said the first time. You said you'd have less time, but that you'd make some for me. And I believed you. I did. I didn't doubt you for a second. I never would have."

"I... I meant what I had said. Things simply got away from me and..."

You shook your head. He was making excuses, excuses that you yourself had made in some effort to try and forgive him. "You left me alone, Aleksander. Do you understand what it means to be lonely? To have people all around you and yet to feel as though no one's truly there?"

He didn't respond, but you could see that your words had affected him.

"It's the most awful feeling, you know. It eats away at your soul like no other. And I — I understand it." You nod to yourself. "You want me to trust you, to believe that everything will be okay eventually. And I did. You could have told me that left was right and that up was down and I would have believed you without question. It may have been foolish, but I would have. But do you — do you truly expect me to never doubt your word when you are never here to tell me that all those awful rumors aren't true? Do you? Because I am certain that if the roles were reversed that you would have lost your faith in me long ago."

"I am so sorry, my dear. I had no idea."

"Of course you didn't. You weren't here to find out." You snapped.

"Please, don't do this. Don't say that. I know I've made a mistake... but I will make it right by you. I promise."

You sighed. You'd been waiting for those words for so long. Too long.

"It's too late. I've given you every opportunity for you to tell me such. things. It's too late now."

"I know it's late, but, please, look at me — " Your husband grabbed ahold of your chin, his grip gentle yet firm, and titled it towards himself. "I will never make that mistake again. I assure you, my love."

"But how can you? How can you promise that this will never happen, that when the burden becomes too heavy, I will become nothing but a mantlepiece?" You bit at the inside of your cheek. "I would have made time for you, you know. I would have made time for you above all else, even if it seemed impossible. Even if it was impossible." You clenched your jaw. You could feel tears brimming in your eyes. "I would've made time for you."

Aleksander allowed his hand to slip from your chin as he leaned back ever so slightly. "Y/n, I... I'm sorry. Truly, I am. I..." He took your hand in his, squeezing it very gently. "I should have known better. But believe me. I am beyond sorry. Please, tell me what I can do to make it right."

"There is nothing to do. You... you said what you said, and I said what I said, and there is nothing we can do to change that, nothing you can do. You can't make up for lost time. That is not something that is simple to get back."

"Please, my darling. I will do anything you ask. You've been ever so faithful to me. I will do anything."

"Aleks — "

"Please," he urged, taking both of your hands in his and caressing them gently. You sighed, giving in to his touch. You were much too deprived of it to deny it now.

"Just — lay beside me. Sleep with me. Even if I'm asleep when you come into the bedroom, knowing you're there... it will help."

This issue would not be resolved quickly, and not for a long time. You were practical enough to know this. Still, after feeling your husband cup your cheek and press a delicate kiss onto your lips, you couldn't help but feel that, eventually, everything would be okay. Not now. And not for a long time. But, soon enough, this would all pass.

[reverii-library]

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