sistertotheknowitall

[sistertotheknowitall]

"why do you write?" because it’s the only way to silence the characters pacing around my brain like victorian ghosts with unresolved issues that prevent them from moving on.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Yall sleeping on this Sam L. Jackson interview about trump lmfao.

[sistertotheknowitall]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[sistertotheknowitall]

Funeral Date

When Jason was asked if he wanted to join them for a family brunch they expected a firm no or some kind of made-up excuses. What he said though was so much more heartbreaking to hear.

"Sorry, can't. My boyfriend's funeral is that day." Is all Jason says before swiftly leaving the batcave.

Which leaves everyone in shock; they didn't even know that Jason had a boyfriend to begin with. They try to get more information from Jason about how he's feeling and if they would like them to attend, but he always tells them to not get involved. That he hadn't even meant to mention said boyfriend in the first place.

In reality the funeral is something he set up for his boyfriend, Danny, as a surprise. Once he learned that graves were important in ghost culture, and that Danny obviously wanted one Jason bought a plot and a headstone.

The date went perfectly but now Jason has to deal with the batfam looking at him with pity, and treating him like glass anytime he's around them now.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Can you imagine Jazz invites Danny on a Wayne family vacation and that’s when Danny and Jason start hooking up. Jazz walks in on them and is horrified. She didn’t need to see that from her little brother.

They can’t come out and explain because Jason still doesn’t want to admit he got married on accident. (Danny yanks his hand out of Jason’s, turning to face him, “so you’d rather your family think I’m a homewecker!?” He pushes off the couch to stand at Jazz’s side, “in my sister’s relationship!?”)

In the end they decide to switch the bride and not tell anyone, let the pieces fall where they may. When Dick walked in on Jason and Danny making out in the living room later he was shocked for all of 2 seconds before punching his brother.

—

- side note: I couldn’t think of a valid reason they should keep pretending but if they had too I think that would have resulted in some fun shenanigans. Jazz and Jason pretending, Jason and Danny getting to know each other and falling in love, Jazz trying to help while also covering for all three of them. The potential for misunderstanding from the Waynes side because of course they all at one point clocked the tension/flirting that Jazz just appears to ignore (does she really trust them both that much?).

DC x DP prompt:

Anger management- 2008 movie What Happens in Vegas style.

Except Jason insists on staying married because he drunkenly texted the family group chat a wedding photo, complete with Elvis in the background. Several messages calling him an idiot has him doubling down, insisting that he has been with Jazmine (“I prefer Jazz.”) for years and they’re completely in love.

Jazz thinks Jason’s an insane rich kid, but he promises to pay her tuition even after their planned divorce in a year.

Cue fake-relationship rom-com with secret identities thrown in and oh, have you met my dead brother and his clone?

[sistertotheknowitall]

I would fight my father for a slice of good pizza and I have celiac.

He may be a foot taller and a 100 pounds heavier but I’ve inherited his anger.

I’ve been told I am my father’s daughter and on that day I’ll look to prove it.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Alfred: Timothy Jackson Drake. Tim: Full name....omg, am I going to die? Dick: It was nice knowing you Timmy. Damian: Don't lie to a dead man walking, Richard. Timothy, your existence in our lives was ambivalent at best. Tim: Thank you for your honesty, Dami. It's a comfort in my final moments. Alfred: Stop being so dramatic; you won't die today. I'm not mad; I'm disappointed in you. Tim wince: That's far worse. What did I do? Alfred: It's more like what you didn't do. Why is it that every morning, you do not find the five minutes it takes to make your bed? Tim: *confused* What do you mean? Alfred: Your bedroom is usually spotless, but you never fix your blankets or your pillows, and it makes everything look awful. I have tried to ignore it, in the hope that you will learn some responsibility, but I can no longer stand it. Tim: But I've never done my bed. It's always been done for me. Alfred: Whatever servants you had at Drake Manor are not here- Tim: I never had servants. It was just my parents, and most of the time, they weren't even in the country. I mean, the housekeeper came by every three days or so, but she never went into my room. Alfred: Wait, if you didn't make your bed and there were no servants to make it, then how was it done? Tim: It made itself, duh. Dick: Would you like to expand on that answer for the class, Timmy? Tim: Come on Dick you know what I mean. The sheets move on their own and tuck themselves in, or the pillows constantly rearrange themselves. Sometimes, on a cold night, the blankets will emerge from the closet and wrap around you. Every day, bedroom stuff. Dick: Damian: Timothy, I believe you were being haunted as a child. Tim: What? Alfred: Did anyhing else stop happening when you moved out of your old home? Tim snapping his fingers: Now that you mention it, nothing whispers in my ears anymore. Dick: You were hearing whispers!? Tim: It was mostly gibbersish and hisses so I always ingored it. The ghost should have learn to not mutter. Danny, reading their lips from the Drake Manor window using binoculars: Well, excuse me for having a speaking impediment.

[sistertotheknowitall]

Jazz: Hi Honey!

Jason: ?

Jazz: This is my boyfriend, the one I was talking about so I really can't give you my number.

Creepy guy: Is he really your boyfriend?

Jason catching on: Yeah, I am. You got a problem?

Creepy guy: No, no, no. I can see she's already claimed for. Sorry didn't mean to overstep. I'll go. *runs away*

Jazz: *Angry Huff* Claimed!? Like I'm a thing!? Agh!

Jason: Are you alright? Did he do anything to you?

Jazz: I'm fine. He was annoying more than anything. Creep followed me from the subway station on the seventh.

Jason: That's far.

Jazz: Yeah, if you didn’t help, I was going to break my promise with my brother and send the creep to the hospital, then get arrested again.

Jason: You have a criminal record?

Jazz: Whats with that tone?

Jason: Sorry, you don't look the part. I mean no offense, but you're dressed like you work in a library.

Jazz: I do work in a library. I am also a highly trained ghost hunter, and humans are far easier to hurt than ghosts.

Jason smiling: Oh? How so?

Jazz: For one thing, humans don't usually notice when I disarm them. *Holding up Jason's guns*

Jason: Wha- when did you-!?

Jazz: *Handing them back* See? I'm dangerous. Anyway, see you around, Motorcycle Boy.

Jason: Motorcycle Boy?

Jazz yelling over her shoulder: I picked you to be my fake boyfriend because you looked good on that bike. Stay hot, Motorcycle Boy!

Jason watching Jazz flip her hair over her shoulder and walk away: I'm going to bring that girl home to Alfred.

[sistertotheknowitall]

POV: You're a gothamite and interrupted their little batfamily chit-chat session.

Art by Dylan Burnett (Instagram: @dylrburnett)

[sistertotheknowitall]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[sistertotheknowitall]

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

[sistertotheknowitall]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[sistertotheknowitall]

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

[sistertotheknowitall]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[sistertotheknowitall]

[sistertotheknowitall]

More Clint Barton + Text Posts

[sistertotheknowitall]

It’s really upsetting that my comfort fic is a rare-pair Glee fanfiction.