sjwgrrrl13-blog - Tumblr blog

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

bi erasure in sk00ls

i am sorry but i wanna know whose genius idea it was to erase everything about bisexuality from biology classes in america sk00ls and instead talk about fuckin blood or w/e!?

i go to dunkin donuts to eat donuts, i go to biology class to learn about bi ppl and how i can be better equipped to help them and deal with all this bi erasure. i mean the sk00l isnt teaching me fuckin ANYTHING on important stuff like w/e the opposite of bi erasure is. bi creation? i dont even fuckin know. like ok im a lzbn and even tho id never touch a bi girl because shes probably been near men and is pretty much ruined for the rest of her life because men r fuckin dirty, i still love bi ppl because they’re just like us u guys, like... urgh, shit. im fuckin crying irl right now, i just wanna help them SO much and i dont even fuckin know how. i havent felt this bad since i found out jesus was a black man and they’ve been white washing him for like 20 billion years or w/e, its like the biggest fuckin conspiracy and no one believes us, but u know what? 

im not gonna give up, im not gonna curl up in to a ball and cry and piss myself like some prick shit preteen white boy who fucked up his shiny charizards EV points and hang myself from my moms wardrobe. im from tumblr, i wont ever give up, Lovers used to make love and fuckin die just to give us their piece of the beautiful. remember when we made love?  

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

help??

does anyone from maybe science side of tumblr can explains, what is ‘pussy popping’?

ive heard the term used and i was wondering what it is or if it has a medical term because i think i might be experiencing it right now and im very worried. it is less of a pop and more of a really loud bang but im just at my wits end. it happens every 20 mins or so and the best way i can describe it would be a shotgun shell being fired from between my legs. my mom has a history with yeast infection so maybe its related?  i was just reading fanficcie and i got wet like i always do and then the next thing i knew id been blown across the room and my lappytoppy was a smoldering wreck.

please reply its urgently even if ur a nonnie, my parents get home in 3 hours and i just tried to stand up and i blew a hole through the floor. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

english voice acting needs to gtfo

i am sorry but i am SO fuckin sick of all these video games making dubbies in english voices. theyre fuckin SHIT, who the fuck wants to listen to terrible english voices, i can just just open my door and fuckin go outside and if i was gonna do that i wouldnt be playing fuckin video games. 

japanese voices are kawaii as fuckin shit and if u dont think so then i am sorry but you should take ur cock out ur mouth for 1 minute and compare some subbies vs dubbies and you will see that u r dead wrong. the japanese language is so amazing and everything just sounds way much better in jpn, even tho im not fluent in jpnz, i picked up quite a lot watching various anime words like mochi and baka, i bet u dont even fuckin know what they means. so plz, just stop hiring english voice actors, they are TERRIBLE and they sound like shit and tbh, i would rather douse my pussy in gasoline and straddle a 3 ft flaming dildo than have to listen to one more english word in a video game when i could be listening to kawaii loli seiryus. that means voice actors in jpnz ooooh look ur learning something!!!! 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

plz be cautious this easter

easter is almost here u guys and i know a lot of u are super excited to start coloring eggs and hiding/finding delicious yummy chocolate treats!! im so pleased at how happy that will make all of u but at the same time i think we all need to remember that terrible things can happen at easter. im talking of course about the dreadful cornflake incident in west virgina 2 years ago when a 10 year old girl on an easter egg hunt mistook a king cobra for an easter egg.

the king cobra crushed her to death within minutes, starting a chain reaction of terrible events across the entire state. a witness to the death rapidly descended in to a deep psychosis before attempting to break in to disney world with the intention of unfreezing walt disney and reanimating him to ask him why bad things happen to good people like bambi. 

during the confrontation between said individual and disney worlds elite armed forces, a shock trooper was impaled on his first day, causing his widow to release their pet dog, cornflake, in to the wild as the dog reminded her too much of her husband. unfortunately cornflake found his way in to an abandoned aqueduct where the military had once experimented with biological weapons. cornflake consumed a vial of a deadly virus that instantly killed and then reanimated him, crazed and utterly enraged. upon his reanimation he immediately sought out the closest orphanage, viciously tearing apart everything that lived and breathed there until it was nothing but a blood soaked memory. 3 days later cornflake was shot in the head by a mcdonalds employee who mistook him for a regular dog. 

its tragic but also beautiful because it mirrors the theme of death and zombified reanimation that easter embodies. i just hope we can all keep this in our memories whilst we’re all enjoying our chocolate treats.  

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

urgh, men r so whiny

chris gray in my class hadnt been to school for like 2 weeks and now he comes back and hes all like crying every day in class and shit because his dad died. im like yeah ok ur sad i get it but ur still a white guy, ur life aint that bad. 

i was trying to be nice and shit and i was like yeah i know exactly how u feel and he started freaking out like saying i didnt know how it feels. i was like excuze the fuck me?? like i dont know what loss is like or w/e? like ok maybe i havent had anyone in my family die but about 6 months ago i was playing the sims and my favourite simmie went to the bathroom and i hadnt realized. So i was redecorating the house and i forgot id taken away the door and she was trapped in the bathroom. i saved my game and i had no fuckin back ups. it wasnt until the next day when i loaded my game that i realized she had starved all by herself without anyone noticing, u guys. omg she mustve been SO fuckin scared and alone i just cant, i just cant even imagine....

ive never known pain like that, she was my favourite fuckin simmie ever and shed done so much with her life, it was like 6 weeks before i felt well enough to open the curtains and let the light touch my skin, because i was just so fuckin consumed by darkness. i was so depressed i couldnt hardly eat anything outside of my 3 meals a day and snacks. i actually cut myself on my notepad whilst i was writing a poem about it and even tho i didnt do it intentionally, i think a part of my subcontents was trying to punish myself or w/e, u know? so i dont need to listen to some little cocksucker bitching about his dad like i dont understand pain. i wrote the fuckin fanficcie of the book on pain. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

desperatley need helps

hi tumblr, im writing this post because my family is in urgent need of ur helps. 3 weeks ago my grammy, who is the biggest role model in my whole fuckin life u guys, won a competition from ‘I cant believe its not butter’ to solo run an exploratory voyage to the planet snickers or mars or w/e. it was revealed to her that the company ‘i cant believe its not butter’ also have a secret space station on this planet that NO ONE knows about, not even NASCAR. i shouldnt be telling u this but we are really desperat. 

my grammy is only 107 years old (in human years) and she is just metal as fuck u guys, so obviously she jumped on the chance to do this. we kept in touch via twitter, shed say stuff like “in space right now yolo” etc and we were praying for her safe return. that was until last night. 

at about 3 am she sent out a twitter update insinuating that theres a chance a female brood alien queen has laid eggs down her sarcophagus and in to her stomach. naturally she is freaking out and she has a terrible heart condition as it is, she almost died 3 times watching “I, Robot”. she told us that shes just really scared right now and the only thing that could help her is if her grand daughter (thats me) made a tumblr post that got about 62 billion notes on it. 

i havent stopped crying u guys, and i NEVER cry. im not saying anyone who reads this and doesnt reblog it will be killing my grammy but i am saying that u may as well have held a pistol to her head and blown her fuckin brains out urself. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

its 2016 and everywher i go theres still rampart sexism!

am i the only one who thinks its completely mysogrinistic that i cant get a single doctor in my town to examine my prostate yet every single man can just go in and get it checked!? its 20 fuckin 16 and still i get treated differently just because im a woman, im sick of it! IM FUCKIN SICK OF IT ALL!!!!! 

my family doctor was all like im sorry u cant have a prostate exam because ur a woman. i was SO mad i thought ill fuckin show him what a woman can do, so i went outside and took a massive shit next to his car and then i used it to smear the word ‘RAPIST’ all over it, because lisa jones swore that he touched her tits for like a whole minute when she went to see him about a lump on her tits. afterwards i sent an anonymous tip to the police. consider urself educated dr abrahms. this is what happens when u cross us, we r tumblr, we r united and we will be treated as equally as men even if it kills u!! i just wanted to tell this to all of u to let u know there is hope, we can win this war even though at times it seems dark and hopeless. just know that i love every single one of u so much, ur my family and u mean the world to me, i love u my sweeties~ <3 xxXX

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

5 ways ill raise my tumblr daughter

when i grow up and adopt a poc daughter, im gonna raise her so fucking good using everything that tumblr has taught me. ill be like one of those ppl where some1 will see me raising her and then make a gif of me and itll get like 4 billion notes with ppl saying “parenting; ur doing it right”

1. i will teach her that you should never EVER say mean things to another girl, we r all sisters, we r all on this beautiful planet together and we must learn 2 love each other. girls are beautiful and powerful and we just... we’re just so precious and we should be respected for that and never try to hurt each other, thats what men are for. maybe men will be extinct by then tho, thatd be amazing omg. 

3. i wont let her go to sk00l, im gonna keep her home and educate her by playing steven universe and adventure time episodes all day, every day. it basically has everything u need to know about life, its way more important than math. like why the fuck am i gonna need to know the square route of pie or w/e? if i have a pie im gonna eat the slices, not fuckin count them. sk00l is shit, the other day at sk00l jamie georgiou called me a fat bitch just because i told everyone that my dad fired his dad and now they’re all in debt super bad and his mom probly has to hunt for rats behind KFC because shes a fuckin dog, she has a mole on her nose the size of a nipple omg its so gross u guys. Then hes getting all personal and insulting my weight!? that night i cried so much after i broke his arm and ran home, like my self esteem is bad enough and now everyones acting like its MY fault!? 

2. im not even that fuckin fat u guys, like doctors always use the word morbid obesity to hurt ppls feelings. u have one or two little heart attacks and everyones acting like ur unhealthy, i can fuckin pole dance for fucks sake. jamie georgiou is a privilege little white boy faggot, he says hes greek but he totes looks white and he said he didnt even like olives when we all went to pizza hut last year. hes about as greek as my pussy, fuckin poser wannabe piece of shit.

5. and no one even likes jamie georgiou anyway, his brother has some kind of disease and everyone was acting all sorry for him and shit, it really pissed me off because hes a white guy, he has NO idea how privilege he is and he got no right complaining about anything so i got him back by telling the whole sk00l he had aids and no one would touch him for like a year, it was so funny lol. i love it when bad ppl get their karma served right back at them. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

pokemon omg

the pokemon direct is starting u guys!!! lets hope they finally give in and give us same sex pokemon breeding. im so fuckin sick of all my pkmn being cishet i just wanna stick a big fuckin shard of glass down my throat every time i have to force one of my females to breed just so i can get more pkmns. i also think its really important for us as a community because like, can u imagine all the amazing ficcie the creative ppl here on tumblr will create!?? im charging my vibrators/defibrillators right now in preparation omg.

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

LGBT problems

as a lzbn, ive faced countless struggles in my life, just like all my fellow tumblr sisters on here. one of the things that makes us lzbnz is that we all stand on the precipice of ruin. i’m talking of course about ‘pottery addiction’. str8 ppl dont know what its like to always live your life knowing youre just one vase away from self destruction.

 i lost my aunt Fanny to pottery addiction. we hadnt heard from her in 4 months and when we finally paid her a visit, there she was at her pottery station, dead. I was worried about her two cats, Tiddles and Whiskins but that problem had taken care of itself because they'd been eating Fanny. she was taking care of them even in death. The entire house was covered in home made ceramics, she had a large batch that she painted glasses on and called it her harry pottery. she just couldnt stop. she just... couldn’t... GOD its just so... im sorry this is really hard for me, im crying irl as i write this.  she had fuckin DREAMS u guys, she had hopes and loves and just so much to give and it was snuffed out instantly over a course of about a month. the doctors said she probably survived by drinking the water she used for her pottery but once that ran out, its almost like she just gave up. my mom said it was such a terrible waste cuz like, she had a whole kitchen packed full of food u know? we spent almost a day throwing it all away.

We took Tiddles and Whiskins home with us but unfortunately they have a taste for flesh now and the coroner said that they had actually started eating aunt Fanny long before she died. It just makes u realize how much work animals are. it doesnt matter how big or small of a lzbn u r, some battles u just gotta spend your whole life fighting. im just so glad i have all of u, my tumblr family. i think id fuckin crumble up and die without u guys, ur the only thing that stops me taking out my old pottery wheel. i love u all so much my sweeties, take care and stay safe! i swear to god if anyone ever hurt one of my tumblr family id fuckin kill them. xxXX

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

omg u guys, such a terrible day

u wont believe the day ive had, im just inside myself. so i was sitting on the bus and i was just ttly fine, looking really fierce in my “STOP ROMANTICIZING MENTAL ILLNESS” tshirt and at least 4 ppl looked at me with really surprised looks i was like damn, looking fine yo.  

so i sat down and everything was kkkk, thats when i realized o shit i forgot my phone. i started to think about tumblr, all the talented fanficcies and fanarts, all my tumblr sisters out there fighting a war without me. thats when it hit me like... omfg. im sitting here on this fuckin bus when i could be at home on my laptop on tumblr right now. so what am i doing!? its like this voice was screaming in my head trying to warn me “WHAT R U DOING HERE!? U NEED TO GET OF THIS BUS RIGHT FUCKIN NOW.” like ive always been kinda psychic u know? the next thing i knew, i was screaming. my mouth was open and i was just screaming! i ran to the front of the bus and id just started crying like SO much, my mascara was running but thats ok because i wear make up for myself, not for anyone else. i said to the driver “u gotta let me off, u gotta stop right now!” and he was like “i cant, we’re moving, i cant open the doors. just wait til the next stop.” That’s when i realized that he was oppressing me just because of my gender, if i was a man he’d fuckin stop the planets rotation for me. so i just screeched! i was like “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” and i grabbed the fuckin steering wheel and i swerved it so fuckin hard.

the next thing i knew, we’d crashed in to a GAP store, everyone on the bus was crying, probably because they saw how this asshole was treating me. he was completely making fun of mental illness, he was like “shes crazy! shes fuckin crazy!” so i looked him dead in the eyes, blood trickling down my mouth, mascara down my cheeks and i said “...u wanna see fuckin crazy?” then i reached up, grabbed a big chunk of my hair, and just fuckin RIPPED the whole thing out, bits of skin and blood were hanging off it, i just waved it in his face and i was like “THIS IS WHAT ILL DO TO U IF U DONT OPEN THAT BUS DOOR, U WANNA SEE FUCKIN CRAZY ILL SHOW U, I STG, ILL RIP UR FUCKIN COCK OFF AND SHOVE IT SO FAR DOWN UR FUCKIN THROAT U’LL BE HAVING UR OWN FUCKIN BABIES AND THEN U CAN EXPERIENCE THE PAIN OF BEING A WOMAN!!!” so he opened the door and i jumped off the bus.

i was staggering around, crying so much, covered in blood. my head was hurting and i felt super dizzy. i was like “tumblr... i need.. plz help me... plz help me” then i fuckin threw up all over myself. suddenly i looked down and realized id forgotten to put my fuckin jeans on that day. so im staggering around town, my panties were around my ankles, i could barely walk. one of my arms was broken, clutching a big clump of my hair and ive just pissed myself. i think ive lost one of my synthetic nipples so im like omg, crawling on the floor trying to find it cuz my dad will be SO mad if i lose them. NO ONE fuckin coming to help me cuz some stupid little white bitch got crushed by a bus or w/e whilst she was coming out of a GAP store. obvs shes more important than me because im a poc.  it took me about 2 hours to limp home and thats when i realized my phone was in my bag the whole time, i couldve been on tumblr the past 2 hours. im just so sorry u guys, im so sorry i left u, its ok, its ok m here now. we’re together, my tumblr family. i wont let anyone fuckin hurt u. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

mass effect andromeda hopes

i just really hope when this game comes out, it fixes the problems of the original trilology. i mean bioware have been on a really bad downward spiral ever since they got someone who isnt even trans to voice kreme. I’m just really scared because andromeda has gotten off to a really mysogrinistic start and theres only a few ways to fix it; 1. everyone should just be a giant dork! like omg lol. i just want my ryder to be such a dork and i want everyone around her to always be like “mama ryder u such a dork lol <3″, i am sorry but nothing makes my growler wetter than a dork, and all of the squad members from the original game were dorks, even the reapers. harvesting humanity for their visceral juices im like omg lol, SUCH dorks, i cant stand how adorbs they were. 

2. keep the very strong female empowerment themes. the original mass effect trillgy had a very strong theme about periods. not a lot of men understood what it meant by ‘cycles’ of reapers harvesting organic life. it was meant to show how much women suffer at the hands of men AND nature and i just hope they keep those things that women will pick up on but men wont get because theyre too stupid and lack the ability to analyze anything. 3. i just... i really hope they get rid of guns and fighting. like i dont think that ppl should fight, im a really gentle person and id never hurt anyone or their feelings and like... im actually sitting here crying irl thinking about this. like, why cant we have a mass effect game where everyone gets on, theres no men or enemies, its just like supernatural. ‘helping things, hunting ppl, the family business.’ i just want ryder to be the mommy and everyone is her dork bby and she just goes around saving the world on a kick ass spaceship having lzbn sex with everyone LOL!!!! and doesnt get slutslammed for it. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

privileged boys

omg white boys complain about EVERYTHING. danny mason in my class, he’s actually in a long term relationship with his bff hes known since he was 4 but she was hit by a truck and needed a metal jaw so ppl keep posting this on his locker; 

well he came in to skool and he was like “omg i woke up feeling soooo tired”

i couldnt believe it, i just stood right up out my chair and i was all like “oh stfu danny mason, at least you actually woke up at all. do you have ANY idea how privileged you are? there are starving ppl in africa who are waking up DEAD. this is why ur gf was hit by a truck and now she can chew through submarines, because ur SHIT, ur just SHIT and the universe HATES u and every day you wake up tired its the universes way of saying “WHY DONT U JUST FUCKIN GIVE UP DANNY MASON” because u poison everything u touch. this is why ur mom is in rehab, because she has to look at ur face every day and it reminds her that she birthed a piece of useless life sucking garbage in to the world and its all she can do to not cook her own fuckin head in the microwave to get away from u. and im not the one who keeps putting that picture on ur locker, i only did it the first time and ppl keep doing it so dont even give me that look.”

urgh. they piss me off so much, if they had any idea what it was like to be a female poc lzbn i dont know how they’d function. try having a life where being a str8 white male doesnt fix all ur problems. like, dont fuckin talk to me about problems ok? i have a yeast infection so bad i could start a fuckin bakery. try living a day in MY life before u start complaining. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

when u reading ficcie and u find that one ficcie that make u so wet that if u lasered off slices of ur beaver and stored them in an airtight container, u would have enough water to survive a month in the sahara desert. (altho i would die without ficcie there lol!!)

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

witchcraft

so after learning that my great grammy was a witch ive recently been having a lot of fun discovering my own magical powers and creating spells. i wish i could ask my great grammy for advice but sadly she was caught instigating a goat orgy and burned at the steak or w/e.

so this is just a simple spell i made, its a love spell! for all of u who didnt have a happy velntrines day, give my spell a try and u will not be dissapoint!  1. crush some grape flavoured japanese hello kitty kandies in to a fine powder 2. sprinkle them on a tampon thrice used

3. burn the tampon (make sure u have an adult with u!) 4. place the ashes in an upside down rats skull 5. place the skull on a picture of garnet from steven universe 6. smash the skull with a hammer 7. put the hammer under ur pillow that night if u did everything correctly, a spirit will visit the dreams of ur crush and ask consent to make them fall in love with u! <3 may not always work because they might say no. but the next day, go up 2 ur crush and ask them out and see if it works!! holy shit guys it really does work, i tried this. (this doesnt work for str8 ppl/men, since they arent capable of love.)

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

never been so angry

i just.... i cant. im so fuckin angry right now i just cant. this morning i came downstairs and went to the kitchen to make some toast just like i do every  morning. i noticed that my puppy, peenuts, was nowhere to be found. thats when i noticed a letter on my counter next to my manga that i was reading the night before because im a lzbn. This is what it said; “Dear Sir/and or Madam, By now I am quite sure you have realized your beloved family pet is missing. Perhaps you fear he has escaped or is yet hiding in some small, inconspicuous nook or cranny, safe within your wretched home. Unfortunately for you, this is a falsity. He is now in our possession, after years of painstaking preparation, his advent is at hand. The darkest star shall soon feed upon the brightest and its celestial blood shall run deep within my people. It may surprise you to learn (as much as it did I) that your canine companion is in fact the one true vessel for the great one. He was identified with pinpoint accuracy by no less than six of our most accomplished augers via ex quadrupedibus and ex caelo. Unfortunately, he is rife with impurity and must be cleansed through days of relentless dark, sexual ritual.  We have sacrificed many in his name and already I feel his deep song resonate within my marrow. His poem emblazoned upon my skin, a language long thought dead. T’is no more dead than I, but richer still in crimson ink. The blood of yours is a.... soothing aroma, it gives me calm during a time of great anticipation. I touch myself as i write this. Do excuse the mess, I sent the boy for ink and he returns with half a snake. I appreciate the nuance but at least ink does not coagulate. He was inbred you see, good help is so hard to find but I digress. Have a nice day.” I just.... i cant believe it. SIR or FUCKIN MADAM, like theyre the ONLY two fuckin options!? is it soooo fuckin hard to just right dear sir, madam or OTHER!? urgh. 

[sjwgrrrl13-blog]

things u can do to make the world a better place

a lot of ppl think u need to be a millionaire to help make ppls lives better. this isnt true, ive spent most of my life on tumblr enriching the lives of others and all u need r the following; * a tumblr blog so ok, heres a list of all the things u can do! 1. donate yuri manga to starving children in africa. i myself have donated almost the entire collection of ‘kashimashi: girl meets girl’ to starving african children. plz, dont start following me just because of this, i know u will all think what an amazing person i am but im not doing this for followers even tho i dont have any followers and i would die just to get ONE, im doing this to help u help other ppl. i cant stop u from following me tho.

2. donate legend of korra blue ray episodes. altho africa might not have ‘electricity’ so maybe just send dvd or w/e? stephen universe is also another good choice. supernatural maybe but just dont tell them about how homophobic jenenson acknles is because if they find out destiel isnt gonna happen they will all kill themselves and they got enough problems already so it is up 2 u if u send supernatural dvds. 3. make petitions! petitions are really amazing, how they work is u make one or sign one here on tumblr and then it gets sent to the president of the united states of america and he will basically make it happen. it can be anything but try not to be selfish, petitions have incredible power so they must be used resplonsibly.  it doesnt take much to save someones life u guys, like srsly, how hard is this?